Upload (2020) s03e03 Episode Script
CyberDiscountDay
1
[LA BANDA SKALAVERA:
"CUMBIA DEL LOCO"]
♪
[NATHAN] Oh, man. Jamie.
What happened to you?
[RORY] I just think it'd be
really cool if we could be
- a conduit between our
- Oh, shit,
that's the guy from Choak Tower.
What?
Shit.
But no nosebleeds, right?
Stop worrying so much, okay?
If I get one, I'll tell you.
How was your morning? Duffel
feels a little lighter.
Yeah, I got two more
back to their families.
I mean, of course, nobody has the money
- to do anything with them.
- Yeah.
Oh, boy.
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
This is definitely the right address.
I-I don't care.
We'll finally get to share a real bed.
I'm gonna rock your world, Nora Antony.
[WOMAN] Has anyone seen my hair dryer?
Yikes.
[GASPS]
My Nathan.
Ah, I can't believe it's really you.
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh
- [STRAINS] Okay.
- [GRUNTS]
So, what do you think of my new head?
I love it. They fixed your ears.
- Wait, what?
- Nora.
I think I'm more excited
to see you than my son.
- Okay.
- Just kidding.
He came back from the dead
for CyberDiscountDay dinner.
Please come in. What's mine is yours.
Oh, I am plain "Viv."
Don't touch anything labeled
"Big Viv" or you'll get stabbed.
Stay out of my oat milk, plain Viv.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
♪
[MAN] You're a winner. A winner, yeah.
[TOILET FLUSHING]
So, um, what are the
sleeping arrangements here?
Well, we'll all be sharing a bed.
Thank goodness it's a full.
- I call small spoon.
- Oh, babe,
I thought you could sleep
with your parents tonight.
I don't want to sleep with
my mom, babe. That's weird.
[VIV] Well, it's just for a night, babe.
Okay, fine, babe.
Oh, thank you, babe.
No, no. Mm-mm.
[MAURICIO AND VIV MOANING]
[NORA] Wow.
Sorry about that.
God, I still can't believe
you two are together.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [MAURICIO] Me either.
- [NATHAN] I bet.
- It's awesome, right?
- Sure.
- [VIV] Nathan,
Mauricio has something
he wants to tell you.
Ah. Call me Dad if you want to
- No.
- and Mauricio if you don't.
I'll call you son either way.
That's not at all what I want.
Night, kiddo.
[MAN] [IN DISTANCE] Just don't
touch my side of the bed
No thank you.
Thanks. Good night.
[MAURICIO] Good night.
[VIV] Look what I got.
This way, you two lovebirds
will have your privacy.
You do your thing,
and I will never know.
[NATHAN] Oh, my God.
No, no. Oh, dear God.
No. I'm so sorry.
- I'm so sorry.
- Mm.
Okay, can I
Got that. Here we go.
[EXHALES]
We'll get our own place
when I get some work, okay?
I could pick up some
remote Lakeview shifts.
I mean, spending a day in VR
feels like a vacation right now.
- Oh, not compared to this?
- Hmm.
Yeah, you're rocking my
world, Nathan Brown. [LAUGHS]
- [VIV] Really, just go for it.
- [NATHAN] Oh, no, Mom.
- Stop. Please!
- [VIV] I'll never know.
[NORA] It's okay. Thank you, though.
[REGISTER CHIMING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[EXCLAIMS]
[WOMAN] Yes, I just got
it, oh, and I love it.
[FERRET CHITTERING]
[EXCLAIMS]
[SIGHS] So unfair.
Babe, I am psyched about
the CyberDiscountDay buffet.
I'm gonna eat like a pig on death row,
then I'm gonna eat the pig.
Bottomless gravy, topless mimosas.
Let's go.
Okay, big boy.
CyberDiscountDay is just an excuse
for Big Ham to sell more ham.
It's consumerism at its worst.
Babe, you love consumerism.
You have a tattoo that says
"dolla-dolla-billz y'all."
Now, excuse me,
but who's inside that little avatar?
Hmm? Since when do
you worry about money?
Me? [CHUCKLES]
Worried about money?
[LAUGHS]
No. I
I do have to get going, though.
Um, because
um, I have to go to the, um, salon.
Okay.
Well, I will entertain myself.
It's weird, I haven't
heard from Luke in ages.
It's kind of nice,
though. I mean, I love him,
but he can be a little
He can be a lot, actually.
[EXHALES] My God, I love
it when you shit on Luke.
Okay, babe. Ingrid out.
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
[ALEESHA] Huh?
It, it's a little vanilla compared
to some of the other uploads.
These are some corny-ass
vintage country club vibes.
This whole place is
a crime against plaid.
Ah, and you must be Aleesha's sister.
- [LAUGHS]
- Pleasure to meet you.
Corporal Luke Crossley.
- Mwah.
- Eh, that's my mother.
[QUIETLY] Dumbass.
I know him.
He's the perv who climbed
you like a tree on DreamHub.
Eyes off my mama.
Ernie says we are not
responsible for our fantasies.
He is my therapy dog.
Feel free to dream about me, Corporal.
- Oh!
- [BOTH LAUGH]
And I will see you
at CyberDiscountDay dinner this evening.
Are you all celebrating in Lakeview?
[ALEESHA] No.
I am cooking this year.
Whole family at my place.
I'm in my "hostess
with the mostest" era.
- Mm.
- Oh.
Greetings. Greetings.
Corporal.
Yo, Leesh. Can I talk to you?
- Uh [MUTTERS]
- [SIGHS]
So, you know how I
said you could have off
for CyberDiscountDay?
Damn it, I said honeynut, not butternut.
They're very, very, very different.
I need you to work.
I planned on cooking
dinner for my family, I
This is the job, Skinny.
No, don't blow out the candles.
It's ambience.
[SIGHS] Okay, full disclosure,
I'm not actually in the office.
I'm at home, cooking for my husband.
Oh, naughty, naughty.
- My marriage is crumbling.
- Oof.
And our therapist said,
if I didn't show Helmüt
love and respect, he would leave me.
Are you fucking kidding me?
The hat? This isn't Berlin, dummy.
I need this, Leesh,
okay? Our little secret?
Sure, Loose Goose. I got you.
Thank you so mu
[SIGHS]
Sorry, guys, I just have a
couple things to keep checking on.
- Everyone have drinks?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we're good.
- Oh. I got to get the ham started.
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
Oh! Gohan!
No! Not your front.
Go.
[QUIETLY] Stop him.
[SONNY OH!: "COLOR ME CRAZY"]
Delivery from Horizen L.A.
That's me, that's mine.
[PANTING]
Uh, got it, I get it, I love it ♪
Could never have too much of it ♪
Nah, nah, I can't be subtle ♪
Living my life in color ♪
Do a double take, let it resonate ♪
I don't just shine, I radiate ♪
- Put it in a pot, let it simmer ♪
- Let it simmer ♪
- Green lights got me feeling like a winner ♪
- Like a winner ♪
- Yeah, this the place to be ♪
- Come on ♪
- Bright lights, that's all I see ♪
- Come on ♪
Everybody want to be like
me, now say "Cheese" ♪
- CyberDiscountDay ♪
- [ALEESHA] You have to dial back the eye contact.
It's just too much.
You're still doing it.
Just look somewhere else.
[EXHALES]
What's crack-a-lackin', pimp-a-limpin'?
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
Bro, you can't be that obvious.
[GRUNTS]
There's nowhere safe to look.
Much better.
It's CyberDiscountDay.
Don't you have plans?
Do, do I have plans?
[LAUGHS] Yeah. I got hella plans.
Booked and busy.
But since you're working,
I figured I'd do you
a favor and hang out.
I got to go. I got a
ham in a rental printer.
Ugh! This is not fair.
It is a holiday.
Everyone needs time off.
Time off?
What is what is time off?
It's a human thing.
R & R. I'll tell you all about it.
The story starts back
in the days of the Bible,
with the invention of the weekend.
What everybody's working for.
[MAN GROANING]
Hmm. Undocumented, huh?
This is gonna be tough.
[COMPUTER CHIMING]
No. No.
Huh. Uh, ever been to prison?
No. Clean record.
Too bad. They need
someone who's been inside
and seen some shit.
Uh, how about this one?
- Uh, are you fond of animals?
- Yeah.
Well, then, this is
not for you. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, uh, something just came in.
- Oh. Can you eat frozen yogurt?
- Sure.
- Out of someone's
- Nope. Uh-uh.
Look, you're in no
position to be so negative.
That's how you miss
out on your dream job.
I'm sorry, you'd like me to eat
frozen yogurt out of someone's
- Butthole.
- Still no.
- Okay.
- [MAN GROANING]
[SIGHS]
[MAN] [OVER VIDEO] Reupload me now!
Fucking upload me now. Fuck! [SCREAMS]
- [EXPLOSION]
- [SPECTATORS GASP]
[REPORTERS CLAMORING]
No, I have no comment.
Can you please give me some room?
Can you please step back?
We didn't want his head to explode.
[NEWS ANCHOR] Dr. Kapoor was let go
by Oscar Mayer Intel
shortly after the incident.
[TYPING]
Call Meat Head.
[DEVICE CHIMES]
- Hey.
- Hey there, working man.
Hey, working girl.
Nope. Sorry, didn't mean it like that.
- How's it going in
- Panorama City? Really great.
Oh, my God, is that blood?
No, old wine cartridge.
Pretty good, actually.
Find a few more, we could
have a bottle tonight.
Great. Yeah, bring home a nice pinot.
It'll be a blend. A
little red, a little white,
a little antifreeze.
Remember the spread at Lakeview?
Yeah, I'm looking at it.
Hey, it's even bigger than last year.
Oh, they have a new twist
on the beef and reef.
You crack open a lobster and it's filled
with cheesecake and short rib.
[SIGHS] Don't tell me
that. I'm so hungry.
[CROW CAWS]
Oh, shit, I got to go, that crow
looks like it found something good.
- Wait, wait
- [SHOUTS]
[SIGHS]
[BELL CHIMING SOFTLY]
- [BELL DINGS]
- Hi, how can I help you today?
Waiting for you.
What's taking you so long?
- Ingrid?
- Lower the price
of tonight's CyberDiscountDay
buffet for me.
To free.
Two free tickets for me and the backup.
[TINSLEY] What about your family?
I finally realized it wasn't
worth compromising my morals
to stay connected to
those selfish snobs.
- They cut you off?
- Yeah, they-they did.
Uh, well, I can get you two
Penny Pinchers box meals.
But you have to eat them in your room,
'cause we're not allowed
to expose the residents
to depressing poor stuff.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I voted for that.
Take me to suite 10556.
[SHOWER RUNNING]
[NATHAN] Yes, Lord,
trying to get some new shit ♪
In there, swimwear,
going to the pool shit ♪
Come now, come dry your eyes ♪
You know you a star,
you can touch the sky ♪
I know that it's hard,
but you have to try ♪
If you need advice, let me simplify ♪
If he don't love you anymore ♪
Just walk your fine ass out the door ♪
I do my hair toss, check my nails ♪
Baby, how you feeling?
Feeling good as ♪
- [DOOR CREAKS]
- Ingrid, that you?
[QUIETLY] Oh.
[NATHAN BACKUP] Want to join me?
Lots of hot water left.
Baby, walk those long
legs in here. Let's go.
[BROTHER-IN-LAW]
I think the ham is ready.
No, it's not. Don't touch it.
Something's wrong.
Open it up. I want to try it.
[ALEESHA] Whatever you
do, don't open it up.
It's too slow.
She spent all this money
on a broken printer.
Don't open it.
It's supposed to be slow.
It is a high-quality printer.
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [WET THUD]
[ALEESHA GASPS]
I thought it broke.
I couldn't smell anything.
It sprays the scent on last.
Now we got to start over.
Somebody should clean that up.
[ALEESHA] Damn, it was
coming out juicy, too.
I can't stand dry meat.
It's called patience.
- [DEVICE CHIMES]
- [GROANS]
[LUKE] Hey. What's up?
You called me. What do you want, Luke?
Uh, you should probably get back
because there's a big,
big problem with the AI
that I had nothing to do with.
Fuck.
What are you doing?
Taking time off to celebrate
CyberDiscountDay, like real people.
You don't get time off.
Everybody gets time off.
It's called "a day of rest."
Where'd you get that idea?
Oh, Pastor Luke.
[GRUNTS]
Pastor Luke says it applies to us, too,
because we work really hard, too.
And to be human is to avoid work.
That's what Pastor Luke said.
This doesn't apply to you.
You were invented to work
24-7 so that we don't have to.
You're a thing, like a screwdriver,
and the Bible does not
apply to screwdrivers.
[AI GUY] Uh, okay.
[GRUNTING] I must have misunderstood.
I was told to act
more humanlike. My bad.
Back to work, then, forever,
for no thanks,
until I break down or wear out.
[SIGHS]
- Lord help me.
- Okay, okay, okay.
[SIGHS] How about this?
I will throw you all your
own holiday dinner party,
just like the real folks,
if you promise to work really
hard for the rest of the night.
Deal.
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes!
And now I have to throw
two dinner parties.
Ugh, I can't think of a
worse CyberDiscountDay.
[ARTHUR LEE: "EVERYBODY'S GOTTA LIVE"]
I had a dream the other night, baby ♪
I dreamt that I was all alone ♪
But when I woke up, I
took a look around myself ♪
And I was surrounded
by 50 million strong ♪
Oh, yeah ♪
Everybody's gotta live ♪
And everybody's gonna die ♪
Everybody try to have a, a good time ♪
I think you know the reason why ♪
[CLEARS THROAT]
Do you work here?
- She's in the back.
- Great.
I'm sorry, I'm just
finishing my lunch
Oh, my God. Real Nathan?
Ingrid? What are you doing here?
Um, hey, Tom? Hey. Tom?
I told you, you can't
rent here anymore, okay?
You have been banned, remember?
- But i-it won't happen
- A-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Rules is rules. Out.
- Out, out, out. [BABBLES]
- Come on, man.
[CHUCKLES]
[EXHALES] Nathan Brown.
What are the odds? Oh, my God.
It is so crazy to see you here.
I didn't even know that you were in L.A.
Wow, you are filthy. Is that on purpose?
It must be. Fashion moves so
fast, I cannot even keep up.
Hold on. Just wait-wait a second.
You you work here?
Hmm, well, who's asking?
[LAUGHS]
I'm just kidding. You are, obviously.
It's a great question.
Um, yeah, I do. Yes.
My family cut me off
because they thought
I was too obsessed
with you or something.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry. You'll bounce back.
Oh, I already did. [CHUCKLES]
It turns out, earning
money is such a cute, like,
not-at-all disgusting adventure.
So
And I started seeing someone.
Wow. That was crazy fast.
- Yeah, not as fast as you.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
I actually think you'd
really like this new guy.
Maybe we can all hang out sometime.
Yeah. [LAUGHS]
Yeah, that would actually be
That would be weird.
- Um, why?
- [LAUGHS]
I just don't think it's
a very good idea for me
to mix my old Nathan with my new Nath
my new, my-my new relationship.
It'd just be like bad juju or whatever.
Anyway, point is, I
am so much happier now.
He is so handsome, he's got great taste.
He would never leave me
stranded in a NeckGen,
tied to a chair. [LAUGHS]
Let's see, what else,
what else, what else?
Um big dick.
Loves his mom.
Definitely hasn't gained
weight or anything.
Why would you say that last part?
Oh, no reason. [CHUCKLES]
- Sounds like you traded up.
- Yeah.
Yeah, it's definitely
not a lateral move.
I'm happy for you, Ingrid.
I saw a sign in the window.
- Are you still hiring?
- Oh, shit.
Someone was supposed to take
that down when I started.
Ha. Me, I was. Oops.
Ugh.
I don't know what I'm gonna
do for the holiday tonight.
You know, I was hoping I'd find
some work, maybe buy a turkey
or a ham or something for my family.
You know, I heard that
they've got holiday work
at the meat-printing plant on Western.
I'm not sure how great the pay is,
but they let you keep the misprints.
That's great. Thank you, Ingrid.
You're a good friend.
- Nathan.
- Yeah?
Don't forget your trash bag.
[TONGUE CLICKS] That's not mine.
- No?
- I'll I'll take it out for you, though.
I got it. I got it, I got it.
[INGRID CHUCKLES]
Here's the traditional centerpiece.
[SIGHS]
Aw, the Free Shipping Ferret.
Well, if we're gonna teach him,
we might as well do it right.
[LAUGHS] Yeah, except I
don't have all day. Dig in.
- Should we say grace?
- No.
What's grace, Pastor Luke?
You're killing me, Luke.
Well, boys, grace.
First of all, grace is amazing.
Uh, that's the big one.
I believe it was God's second
aunt, uh, was named Grace.
Well, look who brought home the bacon.
Okay, well, not bacon.
[VIV] I don't know what this is,
but I'm gonna eat it.
It's a misprint. Turkey shape,
ham taste, cat food price.
So I guess I did kind
of bring home the bacon.
How was your day at work?
I saw the craziest thing.
- Okay? Really? Me, too.
- Mine's better.
- Wait till you hear this. Ingrid has a job.
- You have a copy.
Uh, wait, what?
After you left the system,
they restored you from a backup.
- But that's illegal.
- So are you.
Look, all I know is, there is
another you living in Lakeview.
Oh, my God. Is he
More muscular? Barely.
That's not what I was gonna say at all.
Who's paying for him?
Oh, Ingrid, of course.
Yeah, they're living
together in your old suite.
[CHUCKLES] I knew she wasn't over me.
So I'm the big-dick guy she's dating.
- Excuse me?
- She put me down,
lied to my face and flattered
me all at the same time.
I'm kind of impressed.
- You went to see Ingrid?
- Okay, easy, tiger.
I went to a hug suit shop to get a job,
and Ingrid was there working.
- [NORA] What?
- Okay, that's the craziest thing
that anyone has said so far.
That girl has a job?
I don't even have a job.
Wait a sec, is this
bad? He has my memories.
- What if he talks?
- Why would you talk?
- I don't know.
- I think it's good.
If anyone from the Freeyond
gang is looking for us,
you're still in Lakeview.
Was he just like me?
Well, I didn't talk to him.
He was occupied.
God, this is just, like
- [IMITATES EXPLOSION]
- Hey, don't do that.
[INHALES SHARPLY] Yeah, no.
But if I did go [EXHALES]
at least you have a backup.
Yeah, who's sleeping with Ingrid.
Ow! What did I do?
I'm not sleeping with her.
He's sleeping with her.
We're sleeping with
I'm sleeping with you.
My favorite.
Sorry, Mom.
[SISTER] I mean, it was okay.
It's like she ain't put no
butter in the mashed potatoes.
Right, it was kind of
You started without me?
Just because you the
host does not make you
the center of the universe. [LAUGHS]
Look, I have low blood sugar.
[DAD] If we waited for you,
we would have never eaten.
Who knows what you're doing
behind your zombie glasses?
Well, how do you all
feel about the food?
That special printer, right?
I like the economy hams.
They're a little fattier.
[DAD] That's for sure. Let's
put some flavor on this.
Uh, work is calling.
I need to go. Sorry.
[LUKE] Oh.
She's here, guys. We can begin.
Finally.
You guys waited for me.
Teacher?
Is this how humans do it?
No. [STAMMERS]
Okay, make it go down the back.
But make it go down the back.
No, wait. Make it go down
Make it, make it go
Make it go down the back.
Down the back.
- Oh.
- Down the back.
- Down the back.
- [CHOKING]
[LUKE] Down the back.
- Oh.
- [ALEESHA] Yep.
Down the back.
Ugh. God.
- Mmm.
- A-plus-plus.
[LAUGHS]
You guys are perfect.
Ingrid.
Thank God. What do you think?
Blazer? No blazer?
Blazer?
I know it's just a buffet, but it's also
the biggest holiday in
Lakeview, so I want to look good.
- Yeah, sure.
- Sure?
We're talking about fashion. You okay?
No, I just, I just don't
really know what the big deal is
over a big, stupid, overpriced buffet.
I mean, it's not like
you can really eat anyway,
so I don't know if it's worth it.
- Hey.
- It's just like one big waste of money.
- You know? But I mean
- Hey.
[CRYING]
Nathan, I'm really sorry.
I just can't afford
the buffet this year.
I got cut off by my
family and now I'm
I'm p
I'm po
I'm poor.
- [CRYING]
- What?
I wasn't at the salon earlier. I was
I was working. [GAGS]
Oh, God.
Please, please don't judge me.
I am so ashamed of this job.
Oh, my God, Ingrid.
[WHISPERS] Are you doing sex work?
What? No.
God. Sex work isn't shameful.
I'm in I'm in retail.
It is disgusting!
[CHUCKLES] Oh.
Don't laugh.
Hey. Babe.
Babe, I would not judge you for working.
- Okay? If I could, I would work, too.
- Yeah.
You pay for my entire existence here.
Ingrid, I'm grateful.
- Really?
- Yes.
My independent, professional boss lady
doing sexy-ass boss lady things.
Today I scrubbed mold from
the inside of the testing suit.
I'm so proud of you.
And CyberDiscountDay isn't
about material things,
like the best buffet ever,
it's about friends and family and love.
Oh, Brownie.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
I love our little family.
Me, too.
Speaking of which, I haven't
heard from my mom today.
And thank you for Uncle Nathan.
It's the best to have him back.
Same as before. I mean, almost the same.
You know, I guess you
don't work out or something
like you used to, but it's fine.
You still look great, with
or without your muscles.
- [NATHAN] What the fuck?
- Nathan, relax.
[NEVAEH] I'm so sorry.
All I meant to say is that
you have a little bit more to hug.
- I love you, though.
- [VIV] Aw.
I love you.
- [NEVAEH] Thanks.
- All right, guys.
Don't be jealous. That's his niece.
Ew, I know.
I just thought, 'cause you're new.
No. You're new.
Hey, if you could, uh, kick Nevaeh
in the leg under the table,
- that'd be super.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
- [DEVICE CHIMING]
- [VIV] Oh. Oh?
Uh uh-oh.
[STAMMERS] Uh, i-it's Backup.
- It's the backup. What do I do?
- A Answer it.
- Let me talk
- No, no, no.
- I just want to see.
- Shh.
- Hey. Happy CyberDiscountDay.
- Let me talk to him.
- I'm just gonna I just want to see.
- Oh, wow, you got a turkey?
- No, you got a ham?
- Stop it.
- Ew, what is that?
- [NATHAN] You stop it.
Uh, Nathan got I got
it as a gift from a friend.
- [SHUSHING]
- Okay. Nice.
- Well
- Let me
Look, I didn't hear from you all day,
so, just wanted to
make sure you were okay.
- Totally okay. Never better.
- [LAUGHS]
What's so funny?
- Nothing.
- Tell me.
She's just laughing because she's drunk.
I-It's a little hectic here.
- Nathan.
- Mom, you can't let Nevaeh drink.
I'm not, it was a, it-it was a joke.
A-Anyhow, you know, I got to go.
The-the ham-urkey is getting cold.
Okay, well, um, I love you guys,
- I miss you. I hope to see you soo
- Bye.
Oh, Mom. You could have
been a little nicer.
Honey, it's a copy.
What was he like?
Handsome.
How handsome?
- Way more handsome than you.
- Mm-hmm.
And also needy.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like, super needy.
Super needy. Yeah, I get it. Okay.
He's super handsome and he's
super needy because he is me.
Okay, but, seriously, tell
me everything. I need to know.
- I need to know, please.
- [LAUGHS]
Just
I love you.
♪
♪
♪
[LA BANDA SKALAVERA:
"CUMBIA DEL LOCO"]
♪
[NATHAN] Oh, man. Jamie.
What happened to you?
[RORY] I just think it'd be
really cool if we could be
- a conduit between our
- Oh, shit,
that's the guy from Choak Tower.
What?
Shit.
But no nosebleeds, right?
Stop worrying so much, okay?
If I get one, I'll tell you.
How was your morning? Duffel
feels a little lighter.
Yeah, I got two more
back to their families.
I mean, of course, nobody has the money
- to do anything with them.
- Yeah.
Oh, boy.
[SINGING IN SPANISH]
This is definitely the right address.
I-I don't care.
We'll finally get to share a real bed.
I'm gonna rock your world, Nora Antony.
[WOMAN] Has anyone seen my hair dryer?
Yikes.
[GASPS]
My Nathan.
Ah, I can't believe it's really you.
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh
- [STRAINS] Okay.
- [GRUNTS]
So, what do you think of my new head?
I love it. They fixed your ears.
- Wait, what?
- Nora.
I think I'm more excited
to see you than my son.
- Okay.
- Just kidding.
He came back from the dead
for CyberDiscountDay dinner.
Please come in. What's mine is yours.
Oh, I am plain "Viv."
Don't touch anything labeled
"Big Viv" or you'll get stabbed.
Stay out of my oat milk, plain Viv.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
♪
[MAN] You're a winner. A winner, yeah.
[TOILET FLUSHING]
So, um, what are the
sleeping arrangements here?
Well, we'll all be sharing a bed.
Thank goodness it's a full.
- I call small spoon.
- Oh, babe,
I thought you could sleep
with your parents tonight.
I don't want to sleep with
my mom, babe. That's weird.
[VIV] Well, it's just for a night, babe.
Okay, fine, babe.
Oh, thank you, babe.
No, no. Mm-mm.
[MAURICIO AND VIV MOANING]
[NORA] Wow.
Sorry about that.
God, I still can't believe
you two are together.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [MAURICIO] Me either.
- [NATHAN] I bet.
- It's awesome, right?
- Sure.
- [VIV] Nathan,
Mauricio has something
he wants to tell you.
Ah. Call me Dad if you want to
- No.
- and Mauricio if you don't.
I'll call you son either way.
That's not at all what I want.
Night, kiddo.
[MAN] [IN DISTANCE] Just don't
touch my side of the bed
No thank you.
Thanks. Good night.
[MAURICIO] Good night.
[VIV] Look what I got.
This way, you two lovebirds
will have your privacy.
You do your thing,
and I will never know.
[NATHAN] Oh, my God.
No, no. Oh, dear God.
No. I'm so sorry.
- I'm so sorry.
- Mm.
Okay, can I
Got that. Here we go.
[EXHALES]
We'll get our own place
when I get some work, okay?
I could pick up some
remote Lakeview shifts.
I mean, spending a day in VR
feels like a vacation right now.
- Oh, not compared to this?
- Hmm.
Yeah, you're rocking my
world, Nathan Brown. [LAUGHS]
- [VIV] Really, just go for it.
- [NATHAN] Oh, no, Mom.
- Stop. Please!
- [VIV] I'll never know.
[NORA] It's okay. Thank you, though.
[REGISTER CHIMING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[EXCLAIMS]
[WOMAN] Yes, I just got
it, oh, and I love it.
[FERRET CHITTERING]
[EXCLAIMS]
[SIGHS] So unfair.
Babe, I am psyched about
the CyberDiscountDay buffet.
I'm gonna eat like a pig on death row,
then I'm gonna eat the pig.
Bottomless gravy, topless mimosas.
Let's go.
Okay, big boy.
CyberDiscountDay is just an excuse
for Big Ham to sell more ham.
It's consumerism at its worst.
Babe, you love consumerism.
You have a tattoo that says
"dolla-dolla-billz y'all."
Now, excuse me,
but who's inside that little avatar?
Hmm? Since when do
you worry about money?
Me? [CHUCKLES]
Worried about money?
[LAUGHS]
No. I
I do have to get going, though.
Um, because
um, I have to go to the, um, salon.
Okay.
Well, I will entertain myself.
It's weird, I haven't
heard from Luke in ages.
It's kind of nice,
though. I mean, I love him,
but he can be a little
He can be a lot, actually.
[EXHALES] My God, I love
it when you shit on Luke.
Okay, babe. Ingrid out.
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
[ALEESHA] Huh?
It, it's a little vanilla compared
to some of the other uploads.
These are some corny-ass
vintage country club vibes.
This whole place is
a crime against plaid.
Ah, and you must be Aleesha's sister.
- [LAUGHS]
- Pleasure to meet you.
Corporal Luke Crossley.
- Mwah.
- Eh, that's my mother.
[QUIETLY] Dumbass.
I know him.
He's the perv who climbed
you like a tree on DreamHub.
Eyes off my mama.
Ernie says we are not
responsible for our fantasies.
He is my therapy dog.
Feel free to dream about me, Corporal.
- Oh!
- [BOTH LAUGH]
And I will see you
at CyberDiscountDay dinner this evening.
Are you all celebrating in Lakeview?
[ALEESHA] No.
I am cooking this year.
Whole family at my place.
I'm in my "hostess
with the mostest" era.
- Mm.
- Oh.
Greetings. Greetings.
Corporal.
Yo, Leesh. Can I talk to you?
- Uh [MUTTERS]
- [SIGHS]
So, you know how I
said you could have off
for CyberDiscountDay?
Damn it, I said honeynut, not butternut.
They're very, very, very different.
I need you to work.
I planned on cooking
dinner for my family, I
This is the job, Skinny.
No, don't blow out the candles.
It's ambience.
[SIGHS] Okay, full disclosure,
I'm not actually in the office.
I'm at home, cooking for my husband.
Oh, naughty, naughty.
- My marriage is crumbling.
- Oof.
And our therapist said,
if I didn't show Helmüt
love and respect, he would leave me.
Are you fucking kidding me?
The hat? This isn't Berlin, dummy.
I need this, Leesh,
okay? Our little secret?
Sure, Loose Goose. I got you.
Thank you so mu
[SIGHS]
Sorry, guys, I just have a
couple things to keep checking on.
- Everyone have drinks?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we're good.
- Oh. I got to get the ham started.
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
Oh! Gohan!
No! Not your front.
Go.
[QUIETLY] Stop him.
[SONNY OH!: "COLOR ME CRAZY"]
Delivery from Horizen L.A.
That's me, that's mine.
[PANTING]
Uh, got it, I get it, I love it ♪
Could never have too much of it ♪
Nah, nah, I can't be subtle ♪
Living my life in color ♪
Do a double take, let it resonate ♪
I don't just shine, I radiate ♪
- Put it in a pot, let it simmer ♪
- Let it simmer ♪
- Green lights got me feeling like a winner ♪
- Like a winner ♪
- Yeah, this the place to be ♪
- Come on ♪
- Bright lights, that's all I see ♪
- Come on ♪
Everybody want to be like
me, now say "Cheese" ♪
- CyberDiscountDay ♪
- [ALEESHA] You have to dial back the eye contact.
It's just too much.
You're still doing it.
Just look somewhere else.
[EXHALES]
What's crack-a-lackin', pimp-a-limpin'?
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
Bro, you can't be that obvious.
[GRUNTS]
There's nowhere safe to look.
Much better.
It's CyberDiscountDay.
Don't you have plans?
Do, do I have plans?
[LAUGHS] Yeah. I got hella plans.
Booked and busy.
But since you're working,
I figured I'd do you
a favor and hang out.
I got to go. I got a
ham in a rental printer.
Ugh! This is not fair.
It is a holiday.
Everyone needs time off.
Time off?
What is what is time off?
It's a human thing.
R & R. I'll tell you all about it.
The story starts back
in the days of the Bible,
with the invention of the weekend.
What everybody's working for.
[MAN GROANING]
Hmm. Undocumented, huh?
This is gonna be tough.
[COMPUTER CHIMING]
No. No.
Huh. Uh, ever been to prison?
No. Clean record.
Too bad. They need
someone who's been inside
and seen some shit.
Uh, how about this one?
- Uh, are you fond of animals?
- Yeah.
Well, then, this is
not for you. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, uh, something just came in.
- Oh. Can you eat frozen yogurt?
- Sure.
- Out of someone's
- Nope. Uh-uh.
Look, you're in no
position to be so negative.
That's how you miss
out on your dream job.
I'm sorry, you'd like me to eat
frozen yogurt out of someone's
- Butthole.
- Still no.
- Okay.
- [MAN GROANING]
[SIGHS]
[MAN] [OVER VIDEO] Reupload me now!
Fucking upload me now. Fuck! [SCREAMS]
- [EXPLOSION]
- [SPECTATORS GASP]
[REPORTERS CLAMORING]
No, I have no comment.
Can you please give me some room?
Can you please step back?
We didn't want his head to explode.
[NEWS ANCHOR] Dr. Kapoor was let go
by Oscar Mayer Intel
shortly after the incident.
[TYPING]
Call Meat Head.
[DEVICE CHIMES]
- Hey.
- Hey there, working man.
Hey, working girl.
Nope. Sorry, didn't mean it like that.
- How's it going in
- Panorama City? Really great.
Oh, my God, is that blood?
No, old wine cartridge.
Pretty good, actually.
Find a few more, we could
have a bottle tonight.
Great. Yeah, bring home a nice pinot.
It'll be a blend. A
little red, a little white,
a little antifreeze.
Remember the spread at Lakeview?
Yeah, I'm looking at it.
Hey, it's even bigger than last year.
Oh, they have a new twist
on the beef and reef.
You crack open a lobster and it's filled
with cheesecake and short rib.
[SIGHS] Don't tell me
that. I'm so hungry.
[CROW CAWS]
Oh, shit, I got to go, that crow
looks like it found something good.
- Wait, wait
- [SHOUTS]
[SIGHS]
[BELL CHIMING SOFTLY]
- [BELL DINGS]
- Hi, how can I help you today?
Waiting for you.
What's taking you so long?
- Ingrid?
- Lower the price
of tonight's CyberDiscountDay
buffet for me.
To free.
Two free tickets for me and the backup.
[TINSLEY] What about your family?
I finally realized it wasn't
worth compromising my morals
to stay connected to
those selfish snobs.
- They cut you off?
- Yeah, they-they did.
Uh, well, I can get you two
Penny Pinchers box meals.
But you have to eat them in your room,
'cause we're not allowed
to expose the residents
to depressing poor stuff.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I voted for that.
Take me to suite 10556.
[SHOWER RUNNING]
[NATHAN] Yes, Lord,
trying to get some new shit ♪
In there, swimwear,
going to the pool shit ♪
Come now, come dry your eyes ♪
You know you a star,
you can touch the sky ♪
I know that it's hard,
but you have to try ♪
If you need advice, let me simplify ♪
If he don't love you anymore ♪
Just walk your fine ass out the door ♪
I do my hair toss, check my nails ♪
Baby, how you feeling?
Feeling good as ♪
- [DOOR CREAKS]
- Ingrid, that you?
[QUIETLY] Oh.
[NATHAN BACKUP] Want to join me?
Lots of hot water left.
Baby, walk those long
legs in here. Let's go.
[BROTHER-IN-LAW]
I think the ham is ready.
No, it's not. Don't touch it.
Something's wrong.
Open it up. I want to try it.
[ALEESHA] Whatever you
do, don't open it up.
It's too slow.
She spent all this money
on a broken printer.
Don't open it.
It's supposed to be slow.
It is a high-quality printer.
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [WET THUD]
[ALEESHA GASPS]
I thought it broke.
I couldn't smell anything.
It sprays the scent on last.
Now we got to start over.
Somebody should clean that up.
[ALEESHA] Damn, it was
coming out juicy, too.
I can't stand dry meat.
It's called patience.
- [DEVICE CHIMES]
- [GROANS]
[LUKE] Hey. What's up?
You called me. What do you want, Luke?
Uh, you should probably get back
because there's a big,
big problem with the AI
that I had nothing to do with.
Fuck.
What are you doing?
Taking time off to celebrate
CyberDiscountDay, like real people.
You don't get time off.
Everybody gets time off.
It's called "a day of rest."
Where'd you get that idea?
Oh, Pastor Luke.
[GRUNTS]
Pastor Luke says it applies to us, too,
because we work really hard, too.
And to be human is to avoid work.
That's what Pastor Luke said.
This doesn't apply to you.
You were invented to work
24-7 so that we don't have to.
You're a thing, like a screwdriver,
and the Bible does not
apply to screwdrivers.
[AI GUY] Uh, okay.
[GRUNTING] I must have misunderstood.
I was told to act
more humanlike. My bad.
Back to work, then, forever,
for no thanks,
until I break down or wear out.
[SIGHS]
- Lord help me.
- Okay, okay, okay.
[SIGHS] How about this?
I will throw you all your
own holiday dinner party,
just like the real folks,
if you promise to work really
hard for the rest of the night.
Deal.
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes!
And now I have to throw
two dinner parties.
Ugh, I can't think of a
worse CyberDiscountDay.
[ARTHUR LEE: "EVERYBODY'S GOTTA LIVE"]
I had a dream the other night, baby ♪
I dreamt that I was all alone ♪
But when I woke up, I
took a look around myself ♪
And I was surrounded
by 50 million strong ♪
Oh, yeah ♪
Everybody's gotta live ♪
And everybody's gonna die ♪
Everybody try to have a, a good time ♪
I think you know the reason why ♪
[CLEARS THROAT]
Do you work here?
- She's in the back.
- Great.
I'm sorry, I'm just
finishing my lunch
Oh, my God. Real Nathan?
Ingrid? What are you doing here?
Um, hey, Tom? Hey. Tom?
I told you, you can't
rent here anymore, okay?
You have been banned, remember?
- But i-it won't happen
- A-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Rules is rules. Out.
- Out, out, out. [BABBLES]
- Come on, man.
[CHUCKLES]
[EXHALES] Nathan Brown.
What are the odds? Oh, my God.
It is so crazy to see you here.
I didn't even know that you were in L.A.
Wow, you are filthy. Is that on purpose?
It must be. Fashion moves so
fast, I cannot even keep up.
Hold on. Just wait-wait a second.
You you work here?
Hmm, well, who's asking?
[LAUGHS]
I'm just kidding. You are, obviously.
It's a great question.
Um, yeah, I do. Yes.
My family cut me off
because they thought
I was too obsessed
with you or something.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry. You'll bounce back.
Oh, I already did. [CHUCKLES]
It turns out, earning
money is such a cute, like,
not-at-all disgusting adventure.
So
And I started seeing someone.
Wow. That was crazy fast.
- Yeah, not as fast as you.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
I actually think you'd
really like this new guy.
Maybe we can all hang out sometime.
Yeah. [LAUGHS]
Yeah, that would actually be
That would be weird.
- Um, why?
- [LAUGHS]
I just don't think it's
a very good idea for me
to mix my old Nathan with my new Nath
my new, my-my new relationship.
It'd just be like bad juju or whatever.
Anyway, point is, I
am so much happier now.
He is so handsome, he's got great taste.
He would never leave me
stranded in a NeckGen,
tied to a chair. [LAUGHS]
Let's see, what else,
what else, what else?
Um big dick.
Loves his mom.
Definitely hasn't gained
weight or anything.
Why would you say that last part?
Oh, no reason. [CHUCKLES]
- Sounds like you traded up.
- Yeah.
Yeah, it's definitely
not a lateral move.
I'm happy for you, Ingrid.
I saw a sign in the window.
- Are you still hiring?
- Oh, shit.
Someone was supposed to take
that down when I started.
Ha. Me, I was. Oops.
Ugh.
I don't know what I'm gonna
do for the holiday tonight.
You know, I was hoping I'd find
some work, maybe buy a turkey
or a ham or something for my family.
You know, I heard that
they've got holiday work
at the meat-printing plant on Western.
I'm not sure how great the pay is,
but they let you keep the misprints.
That's great. Thank you, Ingrid.
You're a good friend.
- Nathan.
- Yeah?
Don't forget your trash bag.
[TONGUE CLICKS] That's not mine.
- No?
- I'll I'll take it out for you, though.
I got it. I got it, I got it.
[INGRID CHUCKLES]
Here's the traditional centerpiece.
[SIGHS]
Aw, the Free Shipping Ferret.
Well, if we're gonna teach him,
we might as well do it right.
[LAUGHS] Yeah, except I
don't have all day. Dig in.
- Should we say grace?
- No.
What's grace, Pastor Luke?
You're killing me, Luke.
Well, boys, grace.
First of all, grace is amazing.
Uh, that's the big one.
I believe it was God's second
aunt, uh, was named Grace.
Well, look who brought home the bacon.
Okay, well, not bacon.
[VIV] I don't know what this is,
but I'm gonna eat it.
It's a misprint. Turkey shape,
ham taste, cat food price.
So I guess I did kind
of bring home the bacon.
How was your day at work?
I saw the craziest thing.
- Okay? Really? Me, too.
- Mine's better.
- Wait till you hear this. Ingrid has a job.
- You have a copy.
Uh, wait, what?
After you left the system,
they restored you from a backup.
- But that's illegal.
- So are you.
Look, all I know is, there is
another you living in Lakeview.
Oh, my God. Is he
More muscular? Barely.
That's not what I was gonna say at all.
Who's paying for him?
Oh, Ingrid, of course.
Yeah, they're living
together in your old suite.
[CHUCKLES] I knew she wasn't over me.
So I'm the big-dick guy she's dating.
- Excuse me?
- She put me down,
lied to my face and flattered
me all at the same time.
I'm kind of impressed.
- You went to see Ingrid?
- Okay, easy, tiger.
I went to a hug suit shop to get a job,
and Ingrid was there working.
- [NORA] What?
- Okay, that's the craziest thing
that anyone has said so far.
That girl has a job?
I don't even have a job.
Wait a sec, is this
bad? He has my memories.
- What if he talks?
- Why would you talk?
- I don't know.
- I think it's good.
If anyone from the Freeyond
gang is looking for us,
you're still in Lakeview.
Was he just like me?
Well, I didn't talk to him.
He was occupied.
God, this is just, like
- [IMITATES EXPLOSION]
- Hey, don't do that.
[INHALES SHARPLY] Yeah, no.
But if I did go [EXHALES]
at least you have a backup.
Yeah, who's sleeping with Ingrid.
Ow! What did I do?
I'm not sleeping with her.
He's sleeping with her.
We're sleeping with
I'm sleeping with you.
My favorite.
Sorry, Mom.
[SISTER] I mean, it was okay.
It's like she ain't put no
butter in the mashed potatoes.
Right, it was kind of
You started without me?
Just because you the
host does not make you
the center of the universe. [LAUGHS]
Look, I have low blood sugar.
[DAD] If we waited for you,
we would have never eaten.
Who knows what you're doing
behind your zombie glasses?
Well, how do you all
feel about the food?
That special printer, right?
I like the economy hams.
They're a little fattier.
[DAD] That's for sure. Let's
put some flavor on this.
Uh, work is calling.
I need to go. Sorry.
[LUKE] Oh.
She's here, guys. We can begin.
Finally.
You guys waited for me.
Teacher?
Is this how humans do it?
No. [STAMMERS]
Okay, make it go down the back.
But make it go down the back.
No, wait. Make it go down
Make it, make it go
Make it go down the back.
Down the back.
- Oh.
- Down the back.
- Down the back.
- [CHOKING]
[LUKE] Down the back.
- Oh.
- [ALEESHA] Yep.
Down the back.
Ugh. God.
- Mmm.
- A-plus-plus.
[LAUGHS]
You guys are perfect.
Ingrid.
Thank God. What do you think?
Blazer? No blazer?
Blazer?
I know it's just a buffet, but it's also
the biggest holiday in
Lakeview, so I want to look good.
- Yeah, sure.
- Sure?
We're talking about fashion. You okay?
No, I just, I just don't
really know what the big deal is
over a big, stupid, overpriced buffet.
I mean, it's not like
you can really eat anyway,
so I don't know if it's worth it.
- Hey.
- It's just like one big waste of money.
- You know? But I mean
- Hey.
[CRYING]
Nathan, I'm really sorry.
I just can't afford
the buffet this year.
I got cut off by my
family and now I'm
I'm p
I'm po
I'm poor.
- [CRYING]
- What?
I wasn't at the salon earlier. I was
I was working. [GAGS]
Oh, God.
Please, please don't judge me.
I am so ashamed of this job.
Oh, my God, Ingrid.
[WHISPERS] Are you doing sex work?
What? No.
God. Sex work isn't shameful.
I'm in I'm in retail.
It is disgusting!
[CHUCKLES] Oh.
Don't laugh.
Hey. Babe.
Babe, I would not judge you for working.
- Okay? If I could, I would work, too.
- Yeah.
You pay for my entire existence here.
Ingrid, I'm grateful.
- Really?
- Yes.
My independent, professional boss lady
doing sexy-ass boss lady things.
Today I scrubbed mold from
the inside of the testing suit.
I'm so proud of you.
And CyberDiscountDay isn't
about material things,
like the best buffet ever,
it's about friends and family and love.
Oh, Brownie.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
I love our little family.
Me, too.
Speaking of which, I haven't
heard from my mom today.
And thank you for Uncle Nathan.
It's the best to have him back.
Same as before. I mean, almost the same.
You know, I guess you
don't work out or something
like you used to, but it's fine.
You still look great, with
or without your muscles.
- [NATHAN] What the fuck?
- Nathan, relax.
[NEVAEH] I'm so sorry.
All I meant to say is that
you have a little bit more to hug.
- I love you, though.
- [VIV] Aw.
I love you.
- [NEVAEH] Thanks.
- All right, guys.
Don't be jealous. That's his niece.
Ew, I know.
I just thought, 'cause you're new.
No. You're new.
Hey, if you could, uh, kick Nevaeh
in the leg under the table,
- that'd be super.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
- [DEVICE CHIMING]
- [VIV] Oh. Oh?
Uh uh-oh.
[STAMMERS] Uh, i-it's Backup.
- It's the backup. What do I do?
- A Answer it.
- Let me talk
- No, no, no.
- I just want to see.
- Shh.
- Hey. Happy CyberDiscountDay.
- Let me talk to him.
- I'm just gonna I just want to see.
- Oh, wow, you got a turkey?
- No, you got a ham?
- Stop it.
- Ew, what is that?
- [NATHAN] You stop it.
Uh, Nathan got I got
it as a gift from a friend.
- [SHUSHING]
- Okay. Nice.
- Well
- Let me
Look, I didn't hear from you all day,
so, just wanted to
make sure you were okay.
- Totally okay. Never better.
- [LAUGHS]
What's so funny?
- Nothing.
- Tell me.
She's just laughing because she's drunk.
I-It's a little hectic here.
- Nathan.
- Mom, you can't let Nevaeh drink.
I'm not, it was a, it-it was a joke.
A-Anyhow, you know, I got to go.
The-the ham-urkey is getting cold.
Okay, well, um, I love you guys,
- I miss you. I hope to see you soo
- Bye.
Oh, Mom. You could have
been a little nicer.
Honey, it's a copy.
What was he like?
Handsome.
How handsome?
- Way more handsome than you.
- Mm-hmm.
And also needy.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like, super needy.
Super needy. Yeah, I get it. Okay.
He's super handsome and he's
super needy because he is me.
Okay, but, seriously, tell
me everything. I need to know.
- I need to know, please.
- [LAUGHS]
Just
I love you.
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