Xena: Warrior Princess s03e03 Episode Script

Athena! Wh-- why? My men-- all gone.
He's behind you.
What are you? Where did your army come from? For Athena! Ha-ha.
Decent! Congratulations, Agathon.
Your army's done well.
Well?Six thou,man--instant legend! You and me--we work good together.
And this metal? There's no stopping me.
Oh-- of course, that means no stopping you, War God.
I couldn't have given the metal of Haphaestus to just anyone.
It's time for the new generation to lead the old out of the darkness.
Classic-- but don't play salesman, Ares.
I know what you want out of me, and I'll give it to you.
'Cause, all I've ever wanted is to rule the world-- and this metal gives it to me.
There he is.
Walsim-- murderer, assassin! Killer! You killer, you! He's a killer! Who is that?! Fire! He's getting away! Hah! How's it going, Xena? I was hoping you'd remember that trick.
I have a proposition for you.
If you refuse, I take you back to the ax-man.
Sounds pretty one-sided-- and if I say yes? Chances are, you'll die.
We're going up against Ares.
In a time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings, A land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
She was Xena, a mighty princess, forged in the heat of battle.
The power the passion the danger Her courage will change the world Ah, there was no proof I did it.
He was stabbed with a spear.
You were holding it at the time.
Well, if you wanna go technical on me.
How's it going, roomies? You're just as dead as the rest of us.
Yeah, right.
Just remember that, for the time being.
I got no problem with shortening the time.
Xena?! Darnell, Monlik? Down there-- now! Glaphyra? I know you're in here.
Whoa! There was a lady in here? I'm no lady.
Sorry, gentlemen-- this is a private party.
Don't follow unless you wanna be buried alive.
Oooh-- nice collection.
OK-- I figure, we got three things in common.
We're all killers; we don't know each other; but, we all know you-- personally.
We don't have time for chit-chat or reminiscing, so I'll do the introductions.
Monlik here, was a master thief-- taught Autolycus a thing or two.
Darnelle, I found in a small village-- trained him up to be a gladiator.
He was an unbeatable killer.
Your training was good-- my talent was a gift.
And Walsim? Walsim was the finest assassin I ever trained.
He partnered with Thersites for a while.
You introduced him to me-- and I hear you offed him.
Glaphyra? Glaphyra, when I met her, was eager to see the world.
She ended up a slaver-- selling men to traders from the south.
Just men? I specialize-- but none of this explains why you brought us here.
Ares-- she wants us to go up against Ares.
If you agree, it's your chance at freedom-- maybe even to start again.
If not, I take you back to prison.
Going up against the god of war is insane.
There's something you're not telling us.
What is it? There must be thousands of them over these hills-- the Athenian infantry.
They're all like that-- swords, shields, armor-- cut right through.
What could do this? We're about to find out.
Where'd you learn that?! I'm a princess-- ! Walsim, you can't rely on your weapon! It's useless! Come on! Back to the forge! We'd better get going.
They'll be back soon with reinforcements.
Wait a minute.
What was that? What were their weapons made of? That's the metal of Hephaestus.
Ares stole the secret and gave it to a warlord named Agathon.
That's what we're up against.
Make sure the edges are sharp.
Now, all you gotta do is find an army.
You kiddin' me?! Once word gets out about that Athenian gig, I'll have bad boys bustin' down the gates to join in.
That trick took only a few hundred.
So, what do you say, we march on Athens in a month? There's a fire in you I really like, but-- don't be too much of a hurrier-- Yeah, yeah, I'm not like Callisto-- I can pace myself, War God.
Whoa! Nice 'ceps! Do you work out, or are all you gods cut? You have something else to deal with-- Xena-- she's on her way.
Xena? Yeah.
The former number one Ares femme-- the owner of the-- of the chakram? Others have made the mistake of underestimating her.
No, no, no, no,War God-- nobody underestimates Xena.
They underestimate you.
You've got a-- hot spot for the killer babe, and when push comes to shove, you follow your, uh--lower instincts-- know what I mean? You are smarter than you look-- and you're not frightened of me.
It's annoying, but-- it sets you apart from the others - I've dealt with.
- Except Xena.
She didn't cut you any slack, either.
Whatever-- I need your word, or whatever it is that binds you god-types.
Xena's time with me has ended.
I won't intervene.
Good-- Whoa! Ha-- 'cause I'm-- gonna kill her.
It's getting late.
We'll stay here for the night.
OK.
All right-- OK, we need to build a fire pit, grab some wood, and, um-- get some water for the morning-- or I can do it.
Glaphyra and Monlik, start unpacking the tents; Walsim, dig the fire pit; Darnell, you're on wood patrol.
Move it.
Here.
It is gonna be a long night.
I'll have to stay up and keep an eye on them.
You afraid they might run? Well that, and their habit of killing people.
Huh! Why don't you do a rotation? Each one can take a turn watching the other? Murderers guarding murderers-- that's not a good idea.
Maybe not.
Can I ask you something? These people-- all of 'em-- were they murderers before you met them? I mean, it seems like, maybe they-- Gabrielle-- it was me.
I changed them.
Before they met me, they were-- They were like me-- real people-- maybe even good people.
Walsim-- I-- I could see him as a farmer at one time.
He was a carpenter.
I wonder, what would have happened if I had met you before-- before-- you know-- Gabrielle, I could never see you as being evil.
There is a difference between them and you.
What difference? Xena, I have changed so much since I met you.
I wonder how much of that is timing.
Does it really matter? Am I really who I am? Or am I what you made me? We better get going.
If I'm gonna stay up all night, I wanna get an early start.
OK-- are you-- from the land of Nomidia? Nope.
Are you-- ? All right, now, you listen up.
We've got a couple of days ahead of us, before we get to Agathon's castle-- and we need to get this started out right.
So-- you just forget all about the fact that you are all murderers who would kill anyone in their sleep-- especially, one another-- all right? All right.
They can be a team tomorrow.
Tonight, I get some sleep.
What? This is crazy.
So put down your weapon.
You first.
Murderers guarding murderers-- it was a good idea-- hmm.
All right-- weapons down on the count of three-- one, two, three.
Ah-- another day.
Rise and shine! I guess I'm really a morning person.
Can we-- lower the weapons, at least over breakfast? I know why I'm here.
I know why they're here.
But what are you here for? Emergency food? Lay off her, Walsim! Yeah-- she's a princess.
Besides-- I can think of one reason to have her around.
So! You were talking about breakfast, huh? Why do we need these men? Just the two of us-- we can do this.
Oh-- and your friend, if you really think we need her.
I need everybody.
Do you know what men are like? They can't be trusted at their word.
Xena? He's dead.
Poison-- I'll bet.
One of you poisoned him.
You're the one with the cross-bow.
Maybe we should look for an arrow in his back.
Maybe you wanna look for one in your chest.
Monlik-- wakey-wakey.
What?! Yeah-- we stay up all night; he sleeps like a baby.
All right, we got a lot to do, so we're going to split up.
Glaphyra and Darnelle, there's a village not far back.
I want you to get some supplies that we need but-- I want you to buy them.
Now, if I had my choice of partners, here-- You don't.
Monlik and Walsim, I need you to go ahead to the castle.
Monlik, I want a complete map of the interior.
Done, but it's gonna take a while to get there.
And what's the great Xena going to be doing? Seems like you might wanna come with us.
We need a diversion.
I'm gonna see King Gregor and ask him to mobilize his army.
Agathon has to believe that he's under attack.
All right-- we meet back here before the sun is high.
After you-- Ow! I don't think I've ever been a part of a true disaster before.
You are such a cynic.
You know-- I used one just like this to win the finals at Magar Huh-Xena was really proud of me back then.
Of course, I nailed one of the judges with my second throw.
Boys and their toys.
I'll take that as a compliment.
This is essential equipment.
To your ego! And a spear, no less! Could you be a bit more obvious?! Actually-- it's a javelin.
Now, do I sense more than just a little anger toward me--'cause I'm a man? And why not? Men are all the same.
They use you; they betray you; and they spit you out! They're only as good as what you can get out of them.
Oh-- as opposed to the sweet, ungrateful creatures of the earth that women are.
We protect them; we feed them; we clothe them; we-- give them a purpose for being.
And this is the gratitude? You were born of a woman! I was born of a man.
I was delivered by a woman.
How would you like those apples, sweetcheeks-- huh? I only meant it as an observation, not as an insult.
And, uh-- as for the apples-- how'd you like one? Men are so easy.
Everything you asked for.
Bought-- not stolen.
Sorry we didn't bring back any change.
Gregor has agreed to use his army to help us, but we have to move fast.
Monlik, how does it look inside the castle? Bad-- very bad.
Anyone trying to break in will be slaughtered.
This is happy news.
We have to get inside the castle, into the armory, quickly.
Monlik's map will help us with that.
Well, that's something we need to talk about.
You see-- as I was climbing around that castle-- I realized-- I'm the key.
What are you getting at? Simple-- the secret to that metal's worth a lot of money.
Now-- the old Xena, she would've been the first to realize that.
The new Xena-- well-- she's more interested in stopping Ares.
Or-- maybe, giving this secret to everybody.
Now, that would level the playing field, wouldn't it? The problem is-- there's no profit in it for us-- just the risk of being killed.
Your reward is in your freedom-- and the choices that you can make afterward.
She's wrong! Because I have the knowledge she needs.
And without it, everything stops right here-- unless, of course, you wanna try to stop us.
Either way--your plan fails.
Don't make this mistake, Monlik.
I'm giving you your chance.
To do what? Become like you? Roam the countryside, helping people? Dragging around with me some-- half-starved kid pretending she's a friend? Well, I don't think so.
Very well.
If that's the way you feel, you can go.
I'll come after you later.
But right now, I want that map.
Ha-ha.
That's gotta be uncomfortable.
Great! Now, how're we gonna get in? Well, we'll just have to think of something else.
Go pack up our things-- now! Xena-- They did nothing.
Did you see that? If they had'a joined me or backed up Monlik, that would've been something.
I need to know if they can work together as a team.
All right.
Without Xena, let's talk.
I don't think we have a chance in Tartarus without that map.
Xena thinks there's another way.
Xena also thinks she can go up against Ares.
We're all a little shaky on that one, right? Yeah, look-- we all know Xena.
Or at least, we knew her.
We know her strengths, and-- her weaknesses.
What's your point? My point is, that she can take us all on individually, but--together-- it wouldn't be that easy.
What if I had a plan? Is this a private get-together, or can anyone join in? Oh-- nothing private.
Walsim, here, was just telling us, uh-- what he saw in Agathon's castle-- Oh.
-- defenses and all.
Yeah, we were just-- talking about our chances.
Well, we better get to sleep.
We'll see Agathon's castle soon enough.
Hm-mm.
It's about time you showed up.
What is it about me? You always seem to know when I'm around.
I must have a certain-- presence-- around you.
You say 'presence'; I say 'stench'.
Oh! Ow! Score one for the Warrior Princess.
You were wrong to give the metal of Hephaestus to Agathon.
I-- I did it-- for the sake of peace.
Peace through slaughter.
Doesn't matter.
Agathon is brash, obnoxious, disrespectful, and smart-- very smart-- much like the young Xena I took under my wing.
That can't be good for you.
I wasn't the easiest warrior you ever dealt with.
No-- no-- you never let me get away with anything.
You had the nerve to question me-- and you never took what I said at face value.
Funny that.
Well, neither does-- Agathon.
He looks for answers beneath the obvious.
Example? He knows Gregor's army has no intention of attacking.
Agathon's kept his army in the castle.
Give this up,Xena.
I'm not gonna make any deals this time.
I promised Agathon I would not interfere.
If you attack-- he's gonna kill you.
Make it look good.
Keep going.
There she is! Hey, Xena! Lookey what I found.
Your chakram sure would come in handy right now.
I guess you've gotta pick your back-up better.
Sorry, Xena.
You offered freedom.
Agathon offered cash.
I told you I had a plan.
You should've been more like Darnelle, Glaphyra.
If you'd come to me and wanted in-- well-- maybe you'd be out here with us.
Ah-- officers in the new army of Ares.
I suppose it's too late to consider my options.
Oh-- way late.
Do not get near the bars, and don't take your eyes off'em--especially Xena.
I thought Darnelle might've been different-- I should've known.
Different-- you mean, from all the other cutthroats thieves, murderers.
No, little girl.
Check the arrangement.
Do you see any men in this cell? I'm not a little girl-- and I have met some good men.
I married one.
Yeah? And how long was he good? I notice he's not with you now! Maybe he lost interest.
Or maybe he decided to find another conquest! Maybe he was murdered.
By Callisto-- a woman.
I've tried them already.
They're made of that same metal.
She hasn't seen much of the world, has she? Gabrielle's been through more than you'd think-- yes, more than you.
And, despite everything, she doesn't carry hatred toward others.
Good people don't.
And the bad people? The bad people are us,Glaphyra-- who I was; who you are.
You know,you're so quick to blame everything on men, you have never once-- looked inside yourself for the answers.
It's something that I had to learn.
Gabrielle is a good teacher.
Who knows? If-- if I had met her back when I met you, maybe it'd be me who changed.
What was his name? Gives you a happy, doesn't it? All these toys, and nothing else like them, except this.
Without this puppy, Xena's just another wannabe Agathon.
We'd like to discuss our agreement.
Especially the cash.
The cash comes later-- after the conquering and general mayhem, you know? Meanwhile, chill! Pick out some hardware.
Go kill a peasant.
Relax.
We are set for life.
So-- I guess, uh-- I guess that chain must be made of Hephaestus'metal too, or it wouldn't cut through it, right? I want you to know, when I kill you, it won't be because you're a man-- Oh-- really? Well it should be-- 'cause I am a man-- a red-blooded, two-fisted, 'we-rule-the-world-whether -you-like-it-or-not' man.
Hey! Get away from the bar! You didn't have to be _that_ convincing! Ooh-- which way to the armory? OK-- down that hallway, and through double doors.
And the furnace is there-- just like you said-- along with all the weapons we need-- if we can get to 'em.
This is all part of a plan? I convinced Darnell to sell us out.
Ah, it wasn't much of a sale, actually.
Xena needed to get in.
What better way than to get captured? Look, Darnell, I didn't know-- Ah, no, no, no, no-- you owe me an apology.
You owe me big.
And don't worry about forgetting it-- I won't let you.
Hey! That's not how a princess fights! Amazon Princess! Leave him! We don't have time for this.
This is a blast shield.
If it were to plug up the furnace, the whole castle would go up.
Let's do it! First-- all the weapons in here.
You're kidding! Do it.
That's it! What about the warriors?! With Gregor out on the battlefield, Agathon's brought all his troups inside the castle.
They go when the castle goes.
Step back! Let's get out of here! Nooooo! Why is it that everyone wants to kill me? Your death will take a very long-- painful time, because you didn't just betray me! You betrayed him! Intervening directly, Ares? That's not your style.
I thought Agathon was supposed to be your ultimate warrior! You've got it-- and your blood is gonna to prove it! Gabrielle, Glaphyra, get out.
I'm not leaving! Like she said! Besides-- we have to protect our men, don't we?! How about it, Ares? You don't want second best to rule your empire.
If you have to bail him out now, he's just not the right one.
Don't listen to her garbage! You know I'm the one! I don't have to prove anything! Agathon, I gave you my word I wouldn't intervene.
This is between the two of you.
That's just fine with me, War God.
I don't need your help.
Just don't get in the way.
Come on! It's gonna blow! Come on! Darnell! Come on.
Let's go.
Stand clear of the door! If you wanna go back to the way you were, it's your choice.
Yeah-- but at least we have a choice.
I mean-- I'm not saying I'm gonna follow the straight and narrow, but-- well-- I got some thinking to do.
Yeah, me too.
You look after Xena-- OK? I will.
See you later-- Princess.
So! I'm heading east.
How about you? Seems like as good a direction as any.
I think I can put up with the company for a while.
Don't go falling in love with me, now! I'd sooner fall for a toad.
Well, it's a start! You started off with four, and you redeemed two.
All things considered, it's not bad odds.
Ain't that somethin'? I've got that answer to your question.
Are you who you are, or are you who I made you? And? You're Gabrielle-- bard, Amazon Princess-- best friend.
Nobody made you who you are-- it was already there.
The question is, who would I be without you? Hmm-- I can answer that.
You'd still be heroic Xena.
You were on that path when we met.
Are you crazy? Without you to keep me on the straight and narrow-- You'd have managed.
Hey! Just not as well.
Hang on a minute.