Bed of Roses (2008) s03e04 Episode Script

Laid Bare

There's something I want to discuss.
Nick asked you to marry him? Do you still love me? Is it optional? No! You know, the pub - big conglomerate, 24-hour pokies? Not anymore.
Marg just bought it from under them.
Marg? Congratulations to our new publican! It would seem Lionel Smithwick has been double billing at the bereaved.
Lionel's one of the most trusted members of our community.
Yeah, not to mention, Sean's father.
So, how many people do you owe for double billing on the prepaids? Including Minna, seven.
Lionel! I couldn't bear it if Sean was gonna find out.
I'll do anything to keep it from him.
Anything.
(Wind chimes tinkle) (Groans) What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm trying to read.
(Grunts) What are you doing? Well, I'm trying to get comfortable but who can get comfortable on this rack? (Bed squeaks) I've got some oil in the car that will take the squeak out of this.
In fact - You're not gonna oil the bed! (Giggles) Oh! What time is it? Agh! Louie, it's early.
Louie? It's Indigo.
She's probably having the time of her life.
Hey, there's wooden slats under here.
Should I write 'or else'? (Heavy emo-style music) Do you think he's cute? (iPhone text alert sound) This'll be Sean.
It's Mum.
You do know what time it is? Do you know that guy? Yeah.
Aiden.
I didn't realise he was back.
(Phone text noise) Sean.
He's not coming.
Oh! (Phone beeps) (Text noise) 'So wish you were here.
Having fun but not same without you.
LOL.
' Ooh! That's so sweet.
Told you she was having fun.
Should I text back? No.
Put it down.
(Theme music) £ I lay down in a bed of roses £I woke up lying on a bed of nails £ It's the oldest of tales £ Lose the wind £ From your sails £ I lay down in a bed of roses £ I woke up lying on a bed of nails.
£ £ Doo dee da doo dee dum (Yelps) Sorry.
Sorry.
Come back later.
Shh! Sorry (Giggles) You'll wake your mother.
Oh, and Aiden's back.
Yeah I heard.
Hopefully we can catch up.
Yeah.
Morning, Holly.
Morning.
Sean, you're not sleeping in! Not since you cut the casual staff.
Coffee? No, thanks.
Did you confirm the priest for the Riley service? Not yet.
Fine.
I'll do it after I finish Mrs Lee.
No, I said I would, and I will.
What's this? Yeah, I couldn't say no.
You know, the McDougalls practically - Dad, we're over-stretched as it is.
One more service won't kill - it won't kill us.
Why do you keep doing this? I'm already working crazy hours.
It'd be nice to have a life now and then.
It's just until we're through the rough patch.
You've been saying that for months.
I understand the pressure - Really? Yes, of course I do! Is it making up some margin loan that's important to you or is it that you just don't care? No, Sean, that is enough.
Yeah, you're right, it is.
Come on, Holly, let's go.
Bye.
(Laughs) Such a goof.
You've been working really hard recently.
It's normal to lose it.
It's not his fault the loan tanked.
Well, it is, but - you know what I mean.
Mm.
Maybe I overreacted.
(Phone rings) You ditch work? No way.
Have a little more faith.
Spontaneity isn't exactly your thing.
What are you talking about? Sean.
What? What are you doing? Come on! What, too spontaneous for you? Come on! (Water splashes) (Louisa shrieks) Louie! Ohhh! Louie, come here! Come here, look at this.
Look at this! Hi, guys.
How are you going? Hey! Good! Hi! Thanks.
Come here! It's a beautiful bed, isn't it? Yeah.
Want to take it for a test drive at all? That's OK.
Look.
I know purchasing a bed is very daunting.
It's a big decision for anyone to make but, um, I can promise you with a beauty like this you'll have sweet dreams for years and years and years to come.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Um, can we have a moment? Yeah.
No, go for it.
So what do you reckon? There is nothing wrong with my bed! This is a limousine compared to the rack.
There's a ten-year warranty on the mattress and, hallelujah, it is flat on all sides.
There's a three-month wait on this.
If we order it now we could have it in time for our honeymoon.
(Sighs) God! Um, when's the wedding? We're gonna have a cup of tea and we'll be right back.
Come on.
Ten-year warranty.
(Jaunty music) You always - Oh, what a beautiful tutu.
It's for my dancing class.
Oh, well, you'll be the most gorgeous.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yes, new clubs.
I'm still bedding them down.
Yes, graphite shafts.
Takes a while to get used to the new weight.
Alright, Marg, what's going on? You beat me by eight strokes.
Normally I'd never hear the end of it.
Are you alright? Things on my mind.
Yeah? I'm listening.
Come on.
We're friends.
Friends talk.
I'm a good listener.
Business, that's all.
That's my favourite topic.
Staffing issues, if you must know.
Oh! What, sickies, petty cash missing? Marg, you gotta let 'em know who's boss or else they'll exploit you.
Gotta remember that one.
Just wait.
Ideas and pictures will present themselves, OK? Hey, Marg's just rung in, says she's running late.
She wanted me to make this for you.
Hot chocolate.
Oh.
Thank you.
No worries.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Um, I'll have one of these.
No, I'll have a coffee.
OK.
Coming up.
Conrad.
Not bad! Please.
Conrad's 90% flattery, So how's it going at the golf club? Between here and there I've hardly got time to scratch myself.
Yeah? Where do you want to go from interview-wise? Well, probably at the top.
How you bought the pub, what are your future plans? Mm-hm.
Brand-new set of clubs.
Yeah? Yeah.
Conrad? Yeah.
I've only ever seen replicas.
No, these are the real deal.
You order them from the States.
Ask Marg.
Before lunch would be good.
And what about the customers? What about the customers? If you have to deal with that Conrad! Yeah, OK.
Keep your hair on, Marg.
Hey, Marty.
Yeah? What? Photos.
Oh, right.
So where were we? Ah, your plans for the pub.
Ah, my plans.
Well, first up, perhaps you could point me in the direction of some decent staff.
PATRON: Let's go somewhere where you CAN get a drink.
Um, maybe this isn't a good time, Marg.
Excuse me, please.
We will be right with you.
Shift is over.
I want you to get your things and move on.
Come on, chill out.
I'm just warming up, alright? I'll be right with you.
Your services are no longer required here.
What are you talking about? I'm firing you.
I am firing you.
You can collect your paycheque on Thursday.
You can't do that.
Oh? Tell her she can't do this.
She already has! Come on, Marg.
It'll just take a minute.
You ought to relax.
No more slacking off! No more excuses.
I want you gone, I want you out of here.
And now! Please.
You made me do that! I made you? Yeah, I'm not doing it again, I promise.
Oh, really? Yeah.
(Shivers) Nick will go nuts when he finds out you're servicing this yourself.
Anyway, I'm sorry I dodged your call.
Just needed some time out, you know? So anyway, Holly and I want to go to this music thing which means I'll need some time off work.
A week, tops.
Come on, Dad.
Dad? John? Is he OK? Dad! Dad?! Is he breathing? Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.
Call an ambulance.
Dad, please.
(Geese honk) How dare you! How dare you come into my house! How dare you! Get out! Out! You rat! Parasite! He had a car.
OK.
Is there anything else missing other than jewellery? No.
For the umpteenth time, no! OK.
Mum? Are you OK? No, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Come on.
We've got to get you to the doctor.
No.
She's cancelled the ambulance.
There's nothing wrong with me.
I'll go and call it in.
Will you be able to find whoever did this? Black balaclava with grey tracksuit.
That's not a lot to go on.
But we'll get some detectives to do a doorknock.
Well, I came into the house and - You didn't see what he looked like? No, you know, he was in my house.
And he was going through my things.
And when he saw me he didn't even seem to care! He just ran.
That's it.
I want you to stay at my place.
No, no, he's robbed me once, he's not likely to return.
(Phone rings) Sorry.
Hol? I'm busy, can you - Sweetheart, just slow down.
What? OK.
Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.
I've got to go to the funeral parlour.
Lionel just died.
BOTH: What? Can you stay with Mum? Yeah.
Doc said it was quick.
It was a heart attack probably.
He didn't suffer.
Let's go inside and I'll make you some coffee or something.
No, a bunch of calls.
Arrangements and stuff.
Sean, they can wait.
I know you must be hurting.
I should get onto those calls.
ANSWERING MACHINE: You have one new voice message.
Received at 10:12am.
Ah, son.
It's Dad.
Listen, why don't we take off after work for a fish? Thought we could head down to Berrys River, you know, give it a bit of a flick like we used to.
Umanyway, call me.
And you're right, mate.
We need to have a life too.
To return the call, press 6.
To transfer this message, press Listen, why don't we take off after work for a fish? Holly! Are you alright? Oh, darling! Darling! Mum, it was awful.
He was just lying there.
Sweetheart.
He's hardly said anything.
Well, just give him some time, alright? They had a fight - Lionel - him and Lionel, before.
What was it about? BusinessI don't - Oh, darling.
I'm OK.
Hey.
Hi.
Babe, are you OK? I'll catch you later, man.
And yeah, we'll go for a drink next weekend if you feel like it.
Alright, cool.
Catch up with you boys later.
(Sighs) So sorry.
Are you OK? Hello? Is that Dean? Oh, ah, Dean, this is Mrs Franklin, Mrs Minna Franklin.
I've enrolled in one of your ballroom refresher classes.
Oh, you've got a new floor? Well, that's wonderful.
But I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel.
Ititno, um, I don't want to reschedule.
The truth is I've got far too much on my plate at the moment.
Um No, well, that's very kind of you, I've really got no interest in line dancing.
Hi, Minna, I'll just take these through to the laundry.
Ah, fine.
He looks happy.
Yeah, happier times.
So, that's the bloke that Marg sacked without notice? Yep.
And then she manhandled him out of the pub.
Yeah.
If I hadn't have been there snapping away, things would've got very nasty.
Have a look at this - 'Local Hero has turned the Boss from Hell.
' Marty.
What? How is Marg a bigger story than Minna or Lionel? She's not.
I'm correct in assuming that Lionel will be the front page? Of course.
He's touched hundreds of people in this town in their hour of need.
Louisa, we were just discussing Lionel's obituary.
We were going to go on his services to the town, you know, a respected, distinguished member of the community.
Here's the photo.
Hehe knew what to say when someone died.
He could put into words what everyone was feeling.
Once the tribute is published, do weanticipate there will be responses? We managed to keep Lionel's problems out of the paper when he was alive, but it may be more difficult now.
Can't we just bury the bloke? With all due respect, Gavin, I'm thinking less of the dearly departed, and more of the dearly beloved.
Yeah, Viv's right.
Sean didn't even know about Lionel's gambling.
Or the debts.
Lionel kept him in the dark and so did we.
Yeah, well, it was the conversation he never wanted to have.
Well, someone's got to have that conversation with him.
Today.
No, Viv, not today.
Well, there were a lot of people he ripped off.
If we don't tell him then they will.
Louisa? Yeah.
OK.
I'll be a little while.
Marg, have you heard - I had no idea Conrad was so popular! What's that? What? That! What's that? Marty, what are you doing? Well, it's my story.
You know what this'll do to the business? Hang on to your hat, Marg.
As always, as always! Marg.
Tess, the waitress - she's carrying on about unfair dismissal, rallying the staff into action - so Conrad actually did his job! Marg, we're not gonna run the story, OK? I've gotta go see Sean.
Lionel died this morning.
Do you feel like some company? Sure.
Don't worry, it's a return.
Holly's gone to get some milk.
(Sobs) (Takes deep breath) He called me this morning.
I didn't pick up.
Holly said you'd been knocking heads about the business.
He was stuff-all good at management.
I should have taken more responsibility.
I should've .
.
I could've handled it, you know, I could've done more.
No, Sean - I could have! No, you couldn't.
No, I could've! Sean, you couldn't.
I came to tell you that .
.
you might hear some stuff from people about your dad, that you might not like, and .
.
I wanted to be the one that you heard it from because I care about you.
Your dad .
.
he'd been gambling.
No, he was a dreamer with no head for business.
No, Sean.
He was addicted.
What are you talking about? Sean, you know the irregularities with the prepaid funds? Your mum and some other people? He couldn't book keep to save himself, but he refunded that.
Sean, he couldn't stop himself.
Dad was gambling the prepaid funds? (Softly) Yes.
No.
Sean, Sean, he was trying to stop himself, alright? He was doing everything he could to get help, yeah, and he loved you.
How do you even know this? Because some people wrote to the Echo.
They complained.
They're angry.
Why didn't I read about it? Because we were trying to protect him.
And he was trying to protect you.
No! No, he was trying to protect himself.
Sean.
(Sighs) You can't tell me this isn't a great shot of Marg.
Yeah, but Marty, your job is to take photos to support the stories.
You don't make up stories to support your photo.
VIVIEN: Thanks for calling.
Tsk.
We're gonna run with 'Lionel Smithwick, friend and father.
' Andthe other Lionel? We need a story on the crime wave.
Oh, Bev Evans just called.
She's lost a camera and a GPS.
Wait a minute, that's four break-ins in one week.
Five.
My beautiful new golf clubs! Nono worries! Oh, no, no! Er - I'm so sorry! Sorry.
Hi.
Yeah, yeah, I hear there's a lot of that going round.
So, you just get better and - Marg's staff are all ringing in sick.
Oh.
OK.
What can I get you? As long as it's not a beer, because I cannot get the kegs out of the cellar on my own.
Or food, for that matter, 'cause you need a PhD to operate the new stove.
Ah, I don't need anything.
I want to talk to you about Conrad.
Oh, no, I'd rather not.
Come on.
You obviously had your reasons for sacking him.
It's complicated.
Yes.
And? A couple of weeks ago, some very expensive liquor went - wine, spirits - and it wasn't just the odd bottle.
And the night before, Conrad had been working the bar.
The detective from Indigo said repeat robberies in small towns are very unusual.
So they always look for transients.
Conrad's a transient.
Did you ask him about the missing stuff? Maybe you should get the police to run a check on him.
Oh, well, Greg and the Indigo police, they questioned all of my casual staff and they're all in the clear.
So, why sack him? (Sighs) Like I said, it's complicated.
Come on.
What aren't you telling us? (Sighs) Well, late one night, after closing, Conrad and I had a few drinks and (Whispers) .
.
look, he's very charming andand he's nice to talk to, and - You didn't! Did you? Well .
.
I don't know how it happened.
I - It seems he misread my signals because things developed.
And after that it got complicated because the grog went missing and I had my suspicions but I didn't know how to approach it because of how it would look, and - I don't want this story getting any bigger than Marty already thinks it is, OK? Hi! So, another coffee? (Phone rings) (Keeps ringing) How was she? She was Minna.
She knew I was checking up on her.
She's not answering.
Oh, we've gotta go over there.
Alright? Yep.
I've gotta stay the night.
Alright? Yep.
I'll spend every night there if I have to.
WOMAN'S VOICE: Anyone at home? Mum! Mm.
Something smells good.
I brought a lovely orange cake for dessert.
Oh, um.
Should I have rung? No, no, no, we were just ringing you.
But I thought you said to come.
Yes, I did.
But I was coming to get you.
Oh, but if you're going out - I'll just leave the orange cake.
No, no, Mum, we were on our way to get you.
Look.
Ladies, enjoy your dinner.
I gotta get back to the garage.
If I don't finish that Land Cruiser by the morning I'll be up all night.
It is a bad time.
No, it is not.
Come on.
I wanted you here.
You don't want to be alone in that house tonight.
Oh, no, don't be so silly.
I've only come for Holly.
Oh, what a terrible thing to happen.
How is she, by the way? She's OK.
The Rileys know what happened so they're expecting your call.
Yes, Sean will email over the service now.
That's three credit cards I didn't know about.
Oh, and the McDougall funeral, can you handle that too? Look.
Can you talk to the bank? Tell them I'd appreciate more time? Thanks, Stu.
Uh, yeah, that's it, Helen.
.
.
Sean wanted to thank you for picking up his father.
Yep.
Will do.
Thank you.
Bye.
Dad always said the Rosewood deluxe was great value.
Given how broke he left us, I think he can go out in a pine box.
What do you think? Good enough for a shonky funeral director? Don't be like that.
That's what he is.
We've defaulted on two loans, we've got outstanding bills and he's got a credit card for every day of the week! I'm screwed! You should probably go.
I've got loads of work to do.
Let me do some of this.
No! I want to be alone.
OK.
Maybe we should install some kind of alarm.
What, something to squawk every time I open a window? No, that would upset my chooks.
Well, maybe the chooks need to adapt.
We would all feel a hell of a lot more secure if your house was secure.
But I don't want to turn my place into Fort Knox because of some little burglary.
(Door shuts) Well, I don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about you.
I'm more worried about white-collar criminals hacking into my savings account.
Hi.
Hi, darling.
Hey, Nan.
Oh.
How's Sean? Not good.
Like some orange cake, darling? No, thanks.
Why didn't you tell Sean about Lionel when you first found out? Bec .
.
'cause Lionel was .
.
ashamed of what he did, and um .
.
he didn't want Sean to know.
But if he'd have known, he would've understood why his dad was under so much pressure.
Hol, I know that, but .
.
it - it was just a really bad time for Lionel to die.
I don't think there's a good time for dying.
When Dad died, you didn't tell me about his affair, because you wanted to protect me.
Yeah, and that's what Lionel wanted to do.
Protect Sean.
But you didn't protect us.
You just hurt yourselves.
I can tell you that now, Mum, 'cause you're still here, but for Lionel and Sean, it's too late.
(Sighs) Lionel.
What do I say? Can't you sleep? I was thinking about Sean.
Tsk.
(Sighs) Darling.
All Lionel wanted to do was protect Sean.
Yep.
That's all I want to do, is protect you.
But the bigger you get, the harder it gets.
I know.
I love you.
I love you too.
(Dog barking) (Footsteps outside) (Strange rustling noise) (Tapping sound) (Dramatic music) Call the police.
Huh? It's outside.
Someone's walking round the house.
Oh, my gosh.
Hol, Hol.
Quick, call Triple-O.
Quick.
Call Triple-0.
Quick! HOLLY ON PHONE: Police? (Music intensifies) (Music reaches fever pitch) (All scream) Louie! Louie! Louie! Oh! We thought you were the burglar! Minna, I'm so sorry, I didn't think - Hello? Oh, it's OK, sorry.
now we're all up? And, you know, if everybody keeps checking on everybody, somebody's gonna get hurt.
I saw the - ! I thought you were - ! Burglar! Really? Oh, my heavens, that's a lot of break-ins in one month.
What's going on here? Sh! We're calling all the towns Conrad has worked in.
And we got his CV from Marg and we're checking.
We're chasing leads.
Oh, that bloke that Marg sacked? Isn't he the victim here? ON PHONE: Was he? A-ha? Can you do Taralga? I'd love to help you two Nancy Drews but today's my busiest day - I've got supermarket food ads, I've got meetings with sales reps coming out my ears, a meeting at the chamber of commerce, a - here.
We're doing this for Marg and Minna, not to mention your gold clubs.
You're saying that when Conrad left, the robberies stopped? A-ha? Yep.
A-ha? A-ha? Sorry, I'm not sending this through to the Indigo CRU.
This is just circumstantial.
Oh, what, Greg? That Conrad was in all of these towns when the robberies happened? Please! Sounds like more than coincidence.
Look, did anyone that you speak to put him at the scene? Hm.
Seen with stolen goods? Make an official complaint, even? Yeah, but you've got to admit, Greg, it does smell a bit whiffy.
Yeah, and remember, Mum said the guy that robbed her had on a grey tracksuit.
I saw Conrad the other day jogging in a grey tracksuit.
I have a grey tracksuit! Oh! I have a grey tracksuit.
Well, I haven't.
He was working at the pub when Gorrick's got robbed, OK? Yeah, but Marg said the guy was a slacker.
Maybe he didn't turn up to work that day.
What, is that a chargeable offence? No! That's not a chargeable offence.
At least you've gotta admit it's a crimewave now.
It's definitely a crimewave.
Yeah, there's a crimewave.
Where are you going? Slacker-spotting.
It is.
It's a crimewave.
(Phone rings) I'll get that.
It's not a crimewave.
(Chortles) (Dogs barking) (Loud bang) (Door squeaks shut) Hey! Oh.
Don't be put off by the sign.
Just knock.
Conrad, you're just the person I was looking for.
Well, you found me.
(Laughs) Yeah.
Um.
Yeah, I just wanted a minute of your time.
No problems.
Oh, good.
'Cause I'm doing a story about unfair dismissal.
You know, after what happened at the pub, I was hoping to get your side of the story.
Both sides of the story type thing.
Right, that sounds fair.
OK, yeah, well.
It will be.
Um.
I, er - anyway, just thought put it out there and see if you wanted the right of reply.
Aren't there more interesting things going on in this town than me? Ah, I don't think so.
You know, um, it was the staff who arced up about me getting the sack.
I didn't want any trouble.
I think Marg's a nice lady.
You know, I was quite fond of her.
It just got complicated.
Yeah.
Know what I mean? Yep.
Well, look, I've got to have a shower now so maybe we could meet up for a drink later on.
Yep.
OK.
Meet you back here at 5:00.
OK.
Sounds good.
(Sighs) Weirdo! Oh, God! I'll give you a hand to write something for the wake.
I'll try and think of something amusing.
Lionel loved a good laugh.
There's not going to be a eulogy at the wake, Marg.
Do you remember the Bailey funeral? When the soloist started singing Jesus is Calling and Kay's mobile phone went off? I thought your father was going to wet himself trying to suppress his own laughter.
Look, Sean, you know eulogies are not for the person that just died.
You know that.
I said no, Marg.
No eulogy, no wake, no funeral.
No rosewood deluxe.
Nothing.
Sean, this isn't punishing him it's punishing you.
OK.
You know where to find me if you need me.
Thanks.
I don't expect you to understand.
Sean, tell him then.
Tell him how angry you are, how unfair this is, whatever you need to say, and then forgive him.
I can't.
You have to! I can't.
He's being cremated.
About now, so Then let's go! Sean, come on, let's Sean, let's go! (Fast-paced music) Sean! Good timing.
Commiserations about your dad.
Your dad's over there.
Next one up.
Mate, can you give us a minute? Sure.
No, no, just give him some time.
I feel like we should do something.
You are.
I know how much you hate chipboard.
I'm not doing this.
It's stupid.
You know it's the gambling.
That's the bit that gets me.
You couldn't just - That entire time behind my back.
I can't forgive you.
You never forgave Mum for dying.
Not that you ever wanted to talk about that.
We all make mistakes.
That's what you used to say.
It's how you rise above it.
You bloody hypocrite! I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Dad.
Sorry I didn't answer your call.
(Phone rings) No.
I know he knows I know, Greg.
Because I'm a woman! It's intuition - Yeah.
I No, no, no! I don't think he's going to stick around either.
Yeah, I'll get you proof, alright? No, it isn't the shopping bag, it's something - Greg, can't you just watch him? Isn't that what you do, stick around behind trees and watch people? Louisa? Oh, Greg, I've gotta go.
Mum! Louisa.
You don't have to look so surprised every time you see me.
Oh, um Can you come in the kitchen? There's something I want to show you.
Look, I've really only come to thank you for everything you've done and to tell you I'm going back home 'cause one of my chooks is hurt.
Mum.
Mussolini's attacked Stalin again so I might be fine but my chooks are not.
People who are fine don't go around telling everybody how fine they are.
Well, right then, well, yes, I will admit that I was terrified after yesterday morning but to give in to that fear would be a much greater loss than a bit of old jewellery.
Right.
And so was jewellery the only thing you lost? What do you mean? Not Ah.
(Chuckles hesitantly) Where did you find them? In a dumpster.
Ah.
What are they for? Alright, I - To tell you the truth, I didn't know what I was thinking of.
I booked in for some ballroom refresher classes.
Well it was either that or gentle line dancing for seniors.
Don't you think it's a bit strange? A man stealing a woman's shoes.
Oh, my God.
I hope he didn't try them on.
What? Wait, what would he do that for? I don't know.
Like a secret cross-dresser or something.
(Laughs) Oh, I love you.
(Laughs) Hi, Greg? How far away is he? How far? Old Stumpy Road.
That's ten minutes without cattle crossing.
He's leaving.
You've got five minutes tops.
Oh my God - is that a dead body? It looks like Gavin's golf clubs.
I'm going in.
Be careful.
(Camera snaps) I'll handle this.
You watch Louisa.
I'm left here alone.
I'm the practical one.
Conrad! You got a minute? Sorry.
I'm outta here.
Come on.
Let's not have bad blood between us.
Everything's fine, OK? I'll see you later.
Look, as your ex-boss I feel I have been neglecting my duty.
Look, if I never see you again it'll be alright.
I made a fundamental mistake.
OK, What was that? I don't think I was honest about my feelings when I was with you.
I get it.
You're embarrassed.
Can I get in my car please? You were very flattering when you were with me.
Get out of my way.
OK.
Where are my - Scaring my mum like that - bad idea.
Just give me - (Siren) No-one messes with my friends.
Dammit! Come on.
It comes in many forms - an unexpected death, a theft that makes you vulnerable or the never ending change that comes simply from living.
Our fear of loss reveals our true selves.
It reminds us of how much we have to lose.
It challenges our view of the people around us and the people we love.
(Piano plays) Loss doesn't have to define who we are if we don't let it.
What brings us together is more important than what divides us.
Lionel Smithwick was a father .
.
and a truly important member of our community and a not so good cricketer.
(All laugh) Cue laughing.
I'm glad you're laughing, because that's how Lionel would want to be remembered.
He wants us to think of him with a smile on his face.
No sad stories.
No tears.
We're here to celebrate Lionel and a life truly lived.
To Lionel and his truly shocking batting average.
(All) To Lionel and his truly shocking batting average.
Now, you're free to mingle and Lily has prepared some food for us.
Hello.
Almost didn't make it.
You get it down? You OK? Mm.
Nice work, Marg.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
He did the right thing by us.
He did indeed.
Tomorrow's Echo.
(Groans) I'm almost afraid to look.
I should be saying thank you.
Yeah, you should.
Thank you! So what do you think? Too soft? No, not for me.
You? Yeah, but you like it firmer.
No.
This feels just right.
We're gonna grow old together on this bed.
So where do we sign? Sign with your feet if you want.
Stop! How come I'm signing? 'Cause I'll sign later.
What did the bank manager say? She painted a pretty black future.
Said I should declare bankruptcy and sell up.
Cats are born hunters and killers.
So was the Tasmanian tiger.
You don't have weird feelings about Nick, do you? It's not like there's anyone called Vicky in this town, is there? Except Tricky Vicky.
Who's Tricky Vicky? Ow! Nick, I've done the whole thing.
Oh! Argh! See? Don't expect me to back either of you up when the proverbial hits the fan.
It's ridiculous.
The word 'ridiculous' does not sit well in the mouth of a man wearing lycra! To have and to hold from this day forth for better, for worse, for - I do.
(Chuckles) Louisa, do you take Nick to be your lawful - I do.

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