Comic Book Men s03e04 Episode Script
USS Ming
It's amazing when you think about it, right? - What's that? - I just got done having a conversation with my wife on a phone that's not connected to a wire.
I don't think we're far off from some of the gadgets we see in comic books.
I guarantee you we're gonna see a bat belt.
People look like total dorks if they even have just a cell-phone holder.
I can't imagine an entire belt dedicated to gadgets.
Well, I think you'll realize how useful it really is.
I mean, my bat utility belt I mean, I'd be making change at the counter if we run out of change.
So you're an ice cream man, basically.
What about you? What gadget would you like to see? Wonder Woman's lasso of truth.
Would you be able to use it for good, or would you have to just, like, rope loved ones and ask them the questions maybe you don't want answered? What's with the big insurance policy you just took out on me? Why are you always at the neighbor's house? Why do my kids look like Bryan? Hello, and welcome to another episode of Comic Book Men, the only show that salutes Captain America while eating Cap'n Crunch.
I'm your host, Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
All right, what came through the doors this week? - Have a great afternoon.
- Thank you.
- Whoa.
- Hey.
- What's this? - Oh, my God.
This is the G.
I.
Joe Terror Drome.
- Terror Drome? - Yeah.
- How terrifying.
- Come on.
This isn't terrifying to you? No, I'm just busting your chops.
I know you love this G.
I.
Joe stuff.
Any G.
I.
Joe.
This was Cobra, the bad guys this was their home base.
This is where they plotted their world domination.
That's why it's called "The Terror Drome.
" It's a little exposed, right? Yeah, well, that's why they see these panels under here? They open up.
That's why they have all this stuff underneath.
This item brought back some good memories and some bad memories.
This was something I had for about two weeks.
I actually dug it out of my neighbor's trash.
You went dumpster diving.
No, it was outside of the can, so I picked it up, took it home.
Two weeks later, my friend comes for a visit and sees it there.
He's like, "That looks familiar.
Is that mine?" Awkward.
Hour later, I hear a knock at the door.
It's him and his parents.
He wants it back.
No, he got his parents involved? His dad explains, "You know, I threw it out on accident.
- He really wants it back.
" - Right.
I think my mom my parents were looking at me like, - "Just let him have it.
" - Your parents were like, "You are really dishonoring the house let this go.
" What the hell were you doing in the garbage? All right, why are you looking to get rid of this awesome piece? You know, I believe in giving something to get something, so I'm actually looking to sell it, get a little bit of extra money.
I want to promote a flash-card set that's gonna be published soon that uses comic-book illustrations to teach doctors about toxicology.
Good Lord, I don't know if I want to go to a doctor who learned out of a comic book.
I was gonna say the same thing.
- "Hydrogen sulfide poisoning.
" - Wow.
Right out of the gate.
Basically, how farts can kill you.
- How farts can kill you? - Exactly.
You got some dude sitting on the bowl.
- Yeah.
- He's dropped a deuce.
- Yep.
- There's two people on here unconscious.
Obviously, out of his bowels came rotten eggs.
What was he eating, man? So now you know exactly what hydrogen sulfide smells like Sulfur, rotten eggs.
- Yeah.
Okay, all right.
- So even you now know about hydrogen sulfide poisoning.
- You're a real doctor? - Yeah.
So you got a script pad, then.
Well, talk to me after We'll talk later on.
- I might be buying this.
- Yeah.
I kind of question, though would you want to learn from the doctor who learned from flash cards, or would you want to learn from the doctor who learned from a book? I know, like, that's saying a lot, you know, 'cause that's how I learned to read, was through comic books, and look at me.
But comic book Hydrofluoric acid this guy's cleaning the rims on his motorcycle.
It makes it feel as if your bones are actually on fire, and it causes severe pain.
Treatment calcium glucanate gel in a glove.
Uncommon, but again, this is toxicology.
You need to know at least so that when you do see it, you'll remember this crazy flash card.
Then you can go and look it up on a more reliable source.
Teaching doctors how to heal the sick through comics, man - Yeah.
- That's noble, man.
- Beautiful, thank you.
- All right.
If this was to get recognized and ordered at all the top med schools, how much money would you be looking at? With academic publishing, they don't really pay much.
- Oh, really? - But That's why he has to sell this thing.
So I have to sell that thing.
What are you looking for for this? Well, listen, before we get into negotiations, there's one other thing outside I want to bring in and show you, and then we can go from there.
- You got more? - I've got more.
I mean, if you got more, I want to see it.
- Let's go check it out.
- All right, let's go.
This is the G.
I.
Joe U.
S.
S.
Flagg.
Can we put it together? Oh, wow.
Heroes, Marvel 9/11 tribute comic.
Look at the smile on his face.
Wow.
Look at this.
What is all this crap? This is the G.
I.
Joe U.
S.
S.
Flagg.
This is actually the largest action-figure play set ever made.
- Really? - Yeah.
This thing is about 8 feet long, it's about 3 feet wide, about 3 feet high.
You can't put it all right here, man.
This is a place of business.
What if somebody wants to come up and buy something now? Now I got all this crap all over the place.
This is like a thrift store.
How long does it take for a kid to put this together? I don't know.
I never got to put one together before.
- Can we put it together? - Yeah, let's do it.
Not here.
What if somebody wants to buy something? - They can just shop around it.
- Take it in the back by the poker table, but, doc, right off the bat, I'm gonna tell you I'm out.
It's way too big.
It's way too much of a hassle.
But, Ming, you've got my blessing.
If you want to negotiate on it, go right ahead.
All right, you might change your mind after you see this thing it's awesome.
Keep it down back there.
Keep the giggles to a minimum.
Oh, you're talking about giggling? I thought you were talking about something else.
All of a sudden, there's a pillow and a sheet on the carrier.
- Rose petals.
- "Lift off.
" Let's just go put it together.
Okay.
Tell him how you convinced a doctor to give up his whole afternoon to put it together.
Well, it it was in pieces.
We was like, "you know, son, usually "I have to save lives every day, but I got just enough time to put together the U.
S.
S.
Flagg.
" No, well, no, he brought it there.
He's like, "I brought it here to sell.
I wasn't looking for a playmate.
" Well, you got one, so I don't know what to tell you.
Still, I think anyone would've wanted to see it put together, see if all the pieces were there, see what kind of condition it was.
But this poor dude he's like, "I'm coming here to sell something.
I didn't know I'd be part of the big brother program.
" All right, you tell me where to start.
You sure we're not missing anything? I don't think so.
At this point, Ming admits he doesn't know how to read.
- We're almost there.
- All right.
You guys, I got to lock up soon.
- How much longer? - Five minutes.
Five more minutes.
- You know what happened here? - What's that? I found a bunch more parts.
- There's more? - Yeah.
I swear to God, I can't believe it takes this long.
There.
- All right? - Cool.
Gentlemen, behold, the U.
S.
S.
Flagg.
Well, it is impressive.
I will admit I had no toy that was this massive.
- Yeah.
- I mean, this is a gargantuan.
This is the holy grail of the G.
I.
Joe collection.
So how much is he buying it off you for? Yeah, well, all right, I mean, really, what were you looking for? You know, one of these that's totally complete, you know, on the online auction sites is about $1,200.
Are you interested in buying just this, the U.
S.
S.
Flagg, or also this and the Terror Drome? Give me your price on both of 'em.
Both of 'em all right, so the Terror Drome, online, you can buy for about $450.
This online, complete, about $1,200.
You give me $1,200 for both.
Uh, I mean, the Terror Drome, while it's cool, I had it.
I mean, I kind of want it back, but I don't know if owning it again would bring back the same feelings.
This this is a little different.
How much would you sell just this for? This alone itself, let's go for $800.
$800? You know, I noticed a few pieces missing, some of the support pieces were missing.
The big thing that I was looking for was it used to come with a P.
A.
System.
- Yeah.
- This thing came with a microphone.
You pressed a button, and it would amplify your voice.
You'd be like, "All hands on deck.
" Yeah, I know what a microphone does.
You did say "deck," right? I mean, that was a huge piece.
- Yeah, I know.
- I mean, you admit that.
Yeah, it's, like, 100 bucks.
All right, well, knock 100 bucks off.
- Now we're down to what, $700? - $700.
All right, $700.
I thought you loved this.
I thought you wanted it.
I do.
Would you just shut up? - Let me make the deal, all right? - Yes, go ahead.
- Please, just shut up.
- Go ahead.
All right, thank you.
All right, now, I know it didn't come with the plane.
I'll throw the plane in for you.
You're throwing in the plane? Would you take $450? That's a bit low.
How about if you have any pull at the comic-book shop, I'll take $700, and you agree to sell the flash-card set or make some space for it on the shelves - when the book comes out.
- Here? Would you let him set up the flash-card set? If you're gonna give him $700? Would you take $550 and we sell the flash-card set? - I think that's a good deal.
- Yeah? All right.
- $550, and you - $550, you got it.
- Sell the flash cards done.
- You got it.
- You got it.
- Beautiful.
- Did you really buy it? - I bought it.
Where is it? Do you sleep in it at home? Not at home.
Do you still keep up with the doctor? I mean, you guys looked like you were, like, - really connecting over that.
- Fast friends, yeah.
Yeah, he won't return my calls or texts.
Heroes, the Marvel 9/11 tribute comic.
It looks like it's signed by some of the creators.
- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
A Warner Brothers lithograph.
It's called "J.
L.
A.
United.
" Oh, wow.
Hey, man, we got a guest this week.
Scott Snyder has been writing Batman for the last two years, did this amazing story line called "The Court of Owls.
" Now, you're the first guy that ever said, "Okay, the natural enemy of a bat is not a clown.
- It would be an owl.
" - Yeah.
Where does that come from, man? You know, Bruce Wayne feels that he's the person that knows the city best out of everybody.
So the owls really became this sense of, you know, "Who are all the people that lived there before you that you'll never, never understand?" And so to show Bruce in some humbling way, "you can never know Gotham.
" It'll always come at you as something that's a mystery, and you have to embrace that and say, "I'll never be the hero that I want to be, but I'll be the hero that I can be.
" Are there any Batman d-list villains you'd love to get your hands on and kind of reimagine? I feel like the only ones left you could really take and be like, "I did that," are, like, crazy quilt.
I always think about it, I'm like, "A quilt, what could it be made of?" I'm like, "Babies.
" No, you can't do that.
To me, that's what I love about Batman's, even, like, c-list, or z-list, villains, is that when you look at them, there's always some kernel of them being representative of a fear in Batman that you can relate to as somebody that loves the character that way.
Beautiful.
Can either one of you two explain to me the phenomenon of Transformers? What's not to get? You get two things in one, basically.
You get a robot, which is cool, and it transforms into, like, a vehicle or which isn't that cool.
What do you mean it's not cool? Didn't they turn into toasters and stuff? - Not toasters, no.
- No? No, I remember they turned into weapons, they turned into airplanes, or they turned into bugs, like Insect.
- Insect? - It was a metal insect.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- Robot insect.
- Okay.
I was more of a Gobot guy.
- What? - Gobots? Gobots were, like, the white trash Transformers, yeah.
I mean, I hate to sound like I'm on a pedestal or anything, but - Well, let's ask this guy.
- Hey, what's up? Transformers, cool or not cool? Never mind that Gobots, white trash or not white trash? Well, yeah, Gobots were definitely the step-cousins.
- Oh.
- Sorry, dude.
All right, what can we do for you today? I got a book I want you guys to take a look at.
- I think you'll really like it.
- Ooh, yeah.
I remember this.
Heroes, the Marvel 9/11 tribute comic.
Right after the events of 9/11, Marvel Comics got together and were like, "We're gonna honor real-life heroes the firemen, the medics, the policemen.
" It looks like it's signed by some of the creators that were involved in the book, huh? Yeah, there's 11 different signatures here, and I have the certificate of authenticity with it to prove that it's signed by everybody.
Fabian Nicieza, John Romita, Sr.
, Greg and Tim Hildebrandt.
Joe Quesada you know, head of Marvel right now, but, you know, one of the most fantastic artists in comic-book history.
This is gorgeous.
They got all the industry greats, not only the artists, but the writers who put words to the images, and if I'm not mistaken Yeah, Kevin Smith.
The Quesada/McFarlane piece with Kevin's words of inspiration.
I only slipped in there 'cause I knew Quesada really well.
I had done my Daredevil run of comics with him, and Joe lives in the city.
You know, he's the editor-in-chief of Marvel Comics.
So he was affected by it on a personal level.
He grew up in the city his whole life and whatnot, so he really spearheaded it.
And I had written a poem, and he was nice enough to include it on a piece that he did.
Really cool idea.
Where'd you get it? I bought it at my local store about ten years ago, and I've just been holding on to it.
Now I think it's worth something, and I want to sell it and give the money to charity.
You're telling me, if I buy this off you today, you're gonna take the money I give you out of the register - and donate it to charity? - Yeah.
That's what the book is for, so I think that's what, you know, the money should go towards.
- Really? What charity? - The Fealgood Foundation.
Their job is to help injured firefighters and policemen, the ones that got hurt during 9/11.
- Oh, wow.
- This foundation, you know, helps those guys out with their medical bills.
Could I just first off just shake your hand? - Yeah.
- That's very honorable, and I mean, I'm proud to see someone come in here and, for once, be like, "I want to do something good with my comics.
" What do you want for it? I'm hoping to get maybe 100 bucks.
After hearing what you want to do with the money, there's no negotiation necessary.
I'm gonna give you 100 bucks, and I'm happy to do it, man.
You know, heroes do exist, Ming.
Yeah, he's standing right in front of me.
- That's great, man.
- Yeah, thanks.
It's great.
King of hero worship.
Walt's like, "He's a hero.
" You're like, "Oh, my gosh.
" Oh, come on.
What, you're gonna argue that? I could argue Walt only giving him 100 bucks.
- Are you calling him cheap? - You know what? He's right, though, you know.
A broken clock is right twice a day, and he's right right now.
- How about $150? - Sounds great.
$100, $120, $140, and $150.
It is an honor and a pleasure.
All right.
Thanks a lot, guys.
- Thank you, man.
- Take care, yeah.
Nice, man.
And then the Grinch's heart grew two sizes that day.
I had something I thought you guys might be interested - in taking a look at.
- Oh, wow.
- It's called "J.
L.
A.
United.
" - This is awesome.
If you could go to the dealership, pick out any Star Wars vehicle, what would you pick? Wow.
That's a great question.
I like that thing that the droids were on and Obi-Wan - in the very first one.
- Oh, the Landspeeder? The Landspeeder, 'cause it's only this high off the ground.
That's sort of not like flying, then.
That's a good one.
If I'm gonna fall, I'm only gonna fall this far.
At 170 Miles an hour.
I know you must be thinking about this for days.
- What's your vehicle? - I don't know.
I think mine is definitely the AT-AT - from Empire Strikes Back.
- The AT-AT? Yeah, I know it's slow, but big, intimidating.
I would've thought for sure you would've said the Millennium Falcon.
Yeah, he fancies himself a rebel.
- What about this guy? - Star Wars vehicle you go to the dealership, pick out any vehicle you want.
- I would go with the AT-AT - Exactly.
The biggest one there is.
I mean, you don't want to come out and be like, "Hey, ladies, - look at my Landspeeder.
" - Yeah.
- Oh.
- I disagree.
You come out and say, "Hey, look at the AT-AT.
" It's the same thing they say about guys who drive Lamborghinis you're making up for something, man.
She's gonna know in a split second - you're compensating.
- What you're compensating for Yeah, absolutely.
All right, so what can we do for you today? I had something I thought you guys might be interested in taking a look at.
Oh, wow.
It is a Warner brothers lithograph.
It's called "J.
L.
A.
United.
" This is awesome, man.
It's numbered, and it's signed by Howard Porter, who was the artist at the time on the justice league book when Grant Morison rebooted it.
Howard Porter was at least to me, he was an unknown, and his art was so energetic and so eye-catching.
Did you buy this at the Warner Brothers store? - Yes.
- Oh, the Warner Brothers store was always a just like a little mini Disneyland.
Kevin had his credit card on file at the Warner Brothers store, he told me.
That's nuts.
And when a new piece came in, it would be bought for him automatically.
That's some V.
I.
P.
Treatment.
I spent so much money at the Warner Brothers store.
Thankfully, it happened right around the time that, like, Clerks took off, 'cause I had enough money to buy all the stuff that I wanted, and I would go in once a week and just be like, "I'll take that one, that one, that one," put 'em all up on my walls.
It looked like I lived in the Warner Brothers store.
And then I met my wife.
One by one, those pieces started coming down.
- Why you want to sell it for? - I got four kids.
My wife works full-time, and that doesn't leave a lot of time for us to go out, have an evening out on the town, - if you will.
- Oh, wow.
She's my hero, and I'd just like the opportunity to really do something to show her how much of a Wonder Woman she really is.
You guys are gonna laugh, but Donny and Marie are supposed to come to Atlantic City, and my wife has always wanted to see them.
I'd like to surprise her.
The Osmonds? Wow, man.
That's where he wanted to take her? I thought that was so sweet clean, wholesome, good entertainment, man.
I had no idea you were such a fan.
Before you became the hard ass, the metal man that is Walt Flanagan, there's a young Walter Flanagan sitting in front of a TV, going, "I'm a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll!" What are you looking to get today for the lithograph? Well, I was looking for about $700.
- Wow.
- What is the flip it over.
Is the price tag still on there? Are you okay with just seeing Donny? It has the original price tag on it.
$275.
Uh I don't know, man.
You said that you moved a lot of these for Kevin, right? I did.
Kevin had every one of these at one point.
I want you to tell me what you think you can get for it.
Basically, you want Ming to be the one that's gonna ruin this date.
Thanks, Ming.
Out of all the Warner Brothers pieces that were out there, you know, there were some that were very desirable, a lot of them done by Alex Ross.
- You didn't buy that one.
- Yeah, you didn't buy that one.
- No.
- This one We'll offer you $300.
Would you go $350 maybe? It's your call, Ming.
$340.
I'll do $340.
- Shake the man's hand.
- All right, $340, my man.
All right, man, we've supplied the cash.
Now it's up to you to make the night a memorable one.
I'll send you guys pictures.
- Whoa.
- Send 'em to Ming.
A man with no cynicism whatsoever comes in the store without a hint of irony and says, "I want to sell this amazing thing so I can go see Donny and Marie.
" And instead of shredding him, you're just like, "I will help you.
" And I did help him.
You know, I gave him 340 bucks, and wished him good luck, and, you know, give his wife a kiss for me.
Well, there it is, folks.
You're such a lovely audience.
We'd love to take you home with us, but we can't, man.
For Comic Book Men, I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Now you know, kids, and knowing is half the battle.
Good night.
I don't think we're far off from some of the gadgets we see in comic books.
I guarantee you we're gonna see a bat belt.
People look like total dorks if they even have just a cell-phone holder.
I can't imagine an entire belt dedicated to gadgets.
Well, I think you'll realize how useful it really is.
I mean, my bat utility belt I mean, I'd be making change at the counter if we run out of change.
So you're an ice cream man, basically.
What about you? What gadget would you like to see? Wonder Woman's lasso of truth.
Would you be able to use it for good, or would you have to just, like, rope loved ones and ask them the questions maybe you don't want answered? What's with the big insurance policy you just took out on me? Why are you always at the neighbor's house? Why do my kids look like Bryan? Hello, and welcome to another episode of Comic Book Men, the only show that salutes Captain America while eating Cap'n Crunch.
I'm your host, Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
All right, what came through the doors this week? - Have a great afternoon.
- Thank you.
- Whoa.
- Hey.
- What's this? - Oh, my God.
This is the G.
I.
Joe Terror Drome.
- Terror Drome? - Yeah.
- How terrifying.
- Come on.
This isn't terrifying to you? No, I'm just busting your chops.
I know you love this G.
I.
Joe stuff.
Any G.
I.
Joe.
This was Cobra, the bad guys this was their home base.
This is where they plotted their world domination.
That's why it's called "The Terror Drome.
" It's a little exposed, right? Yeah, well, that's why they see these panels under here? They open up.
That's why they have all this stuff underneath.
This item brought back some good memories and some bad memories.
This was something I had for about two weeks.
I actually dug it out of my neighbor's trash.
You went dumpster diving.
No, it was outside of the can, so I picked it up, took it home.
Two weeks later, my friend comes for a visit and sees it there.
He's like, "That looks familiar.
Is that mine?" Awkward.
Hour later, I hear a knock at the door.
It's him and his parents.
He wants it back.
No, he got his parents involved? His dad explains, "You know, I threw it out on accident.
- He really wants it back.
" - Right.
I think my mom my parents were looking at me like, - "Just let him have it.
" - Your parents were like, "You are really dishonoring the house let this go.
" What the hell were you doing in the garbage? All right, why are you looking to get rid of this awesome piece? You know, I believe in giving something to get something, so I'm actually looking to sell it, get a little bit of extra money.
I want to promote a flash-card set that's gonna be published soon that uses comic-book illustrations to teach doctors about toxicology.
Good Lord, I don't know if I want to go to a doctor who learned out of a comic book.
I was gonna say the same thing.
- "Hydrogen sulfide poisoning.
" - Wow.
Right out of the gate.
Basically, how farts can kill you.
- How farts can kill you? - Exactly.
You got some dude sitting on the bowl.
- Yeah.
- He's dropped a deuce.
- Yep.
- There's two people on here unconscious.
Obviously, out of his bowels came rotten eggs.
What was he eating, man? So now you know exactly what hydrogen sulfide smells like Sulfur, rotten eggs.
- Yeah.
Okay, all right.
- So even you now know about hydrogen sulfide poisoning.
- You're a real doctor? - Yeah.
So you got a script pad, then.
Well, talk to me after We'll talk later on.
- I might be buying this.
- Yeah.
I kind of question, though would you want to learn from the doctor who learned from flash cards, or would you want to learn from the doctor who learned from a book? I know, like, that's saying a lot, you know, 'cause that's how I learned to read, was through comic books, and look at me.
But comic book Hydrofluoric acid this guy's cleaning the rims on his motorcycle.
It makes it feel as if your bones are actually on fire, and it causes severe pain.
Treatment calcium glucanate gel in a glove.
Uncommon, but again, this is toxicology.
You need to know at least so that when you do see it, you'll remember this crazy flash card.
Then you can go and look it up on a more reliable source.
Teaching doctors how to heal the sick through comics, man - Yeah.
- That's noble, man.
- Beautiful, thank you.
- All right.
If this was to get recognized and ordered at all the top med schools, how much money would you be looking at? With academic publishing, they don't really pay much.
- Oh, really? - But That's why he has to sell this thing.
So I have to sell that thing.
What are you looking for for this? Well, listen, before we get into negotiations, there's one other thing outside I want to bring in and show you, and then we can go from there.
- You got more? - I've got more.
I mean, if you got more, I want to see it.
- Let's go check it out.
- All right, let's go.
This is the G.
I.
Joe U.
S.
S.
Flagg.
Can we put it together? Oh, wow.
Heroes, Marvel 9/11 tribute comic.
Look at the smile on his face.
Wow.
Look at this.
What is all this crap? This is the G.
I.
Joe U.
S.
S.
Flagg.
This is actually the largest action-figure play set ever made.
- Really? - Yeah.
This thing is about 8 feet long, it's about 3 feet wide, about 3 feet high.
You can't put it all right here, man.
This is a place of business.
What if somebody wants to come up and buy something now? Now I got all this crap all over the place.
This is like a thrift store.
How long does it take for a kid to put this together? I don't know.
I never got to put one together before.
- Can we put it together? - Yeah, let's do it.
Not here.
What if somebody wants to buy something? - They can just shop around it.
- Take it in the back by the poker table, but, doc, right off the bat, I'm gonna tell you I'm out.
It's way too big.
It's way too much of a hassle.
But, Ming, you've got my blessing.
If you want to negotiate on it, go right ahead.
All right, you might change your mind after you see this thing it's awesome.
Keep it down back there.
Keep the giggles to a minimum.
Oh, you're talking about giggling? I thought you were talking about something else.
All of a sudden, there's a pillow and a sheet on the carrier.
- Rose petals.
- "Lift off.
" Let's just go put it together.
Okay.
Tell him how you convinced a doctor to give up his whole afternoon to put it together.
Well, it it was in pieces.
We was like, "you know, son, usually "I have to save lives every day, but I got just enough time to put together the U.
S.
S.
Flagg.
" No, well, no, he brought it there.
He's like, "I brought it here to sell.
I wasn't looking for a playmate.
" Well, you got one, so I don't know what to tell you.
Still, I think anyone would've wanted to see it put together, see if all the pieces were there, see what kind of condition it was.
But this poor dude he's like, "I'm coming here to sell something.
I didn't know I'd be part of the big brother program.
" All right, you tell me where to start.
You sure we're not missing anything? I don't think so.
At this point, Ming admits he doesn't know how to read.
- We're almost there.
- All right.
You guys, I got to lock up soon.
- How much longer? - Five minutes.
Five more minutes.
- You know what happened here? - What's that? I found a bunch more parts.
- There's more? - Yeah.
I swear to God, I can't believe it takes this long.
There.
- All right? - Cool.
Gentlemen, behold, the U.
S.
S.
Flagg.
Well, it is impressive.
I will admit I had no toy that was this massive.
- Yeah.
- I mean, this is a gargantuan.
This is the holy grail of the G.
I.
Joe collection.
So how much is he buying it off you for? Yeah, well, all right, I mean, really, what were you looking for? You know, one of these that's totally complete, you know, on the online auction sites is about $1,200.
Are you interested in buying just this, the U.
S.
S.
Flagg, or also this and the Terror Drome? Give me your price on both of 'em.
Both of 'em all right, so the Terror Drome, online, you can buy for about $450.
This online, complete, about $1,200.
You give me $1,200 for both.
Uh, I mean, the Terror Drome, while it's cool, I had it.
I mean, I kind of want it back, but I don't know if owning it again would bring back the same feelings.
This this is a little different.
How much would you sell just this for? This alone itself, let's go for $800.
$800? You know, I noticed a few pieces missing, some of the support pieces were missing.
The big thing that I was looking for was it used to come with a P.
A.
System.
- Yeah.
- This thing came with a microphone.
You pressed a button, and it would amplify your voice.
You'd be like, "All hands on deck.
" Yeah, I know what a microphone does.
You did say "deck," right? I mean, that was a huge piece.
- Yeah, I know.
- I mean, you admit that.
Yeah, it's, like, 100 bucks.
All right, well, knock 100 bucks off.
- Now we're down to what, $700? - $700.
All right, $700.
I thought you loved this.
I thought you wanted it.
I do.
Would you just shut up? - Let me make the deal, all right? - Yes, go ahead.
- Please, just shut up.
- Go ahead.
All right, thank you.
All right, now, I know it didn't come with the plane.
I'll throw the plane in for you.
You're throwing in the plane? Would you take $450? That's a bit low.
How about if you have any pull at the comic-book shop, I'll take $700, and you agree to sell the flash-card set or make some space for it on the shelves - when the book comes out.
- Here? Would you let him set up the flash-card set? If you're gonna give him $700? Would you take $550 and we sell the flash-card set? - I think that's a good deal.
- Yeah? All right.
- $550, and you - $550, you got it.
- Sell the flash cards done.
- You got it.
- You got it.
- Beautiful.
- Did you really buy it? - I bought it.
Where is it? Do you sleep in it at home? Not at home.
Do you still keep up with the doctor? I mean, you guys looked like you were, like, - really connecting over that.
- Fast friends, yeah.
Yeah, he won't return my calls or texts.
Heroes, the Marvel 9/11 tribute comic.
It looks like it's signed by some of the creators.
- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
A Warner Brothers lithograph.
It's called "J.
L.
A.
United.
" Oh, wow.
Hey, man, we got a guest this week.
Scott Snyder has been writing Batman for the last two years, did this amazing story line called "The Court of Owls.
" Now, you're the first guy that ever said, "Okay, the natural enemy of a bat is not a clown.
- It would be an owl.
" - Yeah.
Where does that come from, man? You know, Bruce Wayne feels that he's the person that knows the city best out of everybody.
So the owls really became this sense of, you know, "Who are all the people that lived there before you that you'll never, never understand?" And so to show Bruce in some humbling way, "you can never know Gotham.
" It'll always come at you as something that's a mystery, and you have to embrace that and say, "I'll never be the hero that I want to be, but I'll be the hero that I can be.
" Are there any Batman d-list villains you'd love to get your hands on and kind of reimagine? I feel like the only ones left you could really take and be like, "I did that," are, like, crazy quilt.
I always think about it, I'm like, "A quilt, what could it be made of?" I'm like, "Babies.
" No, you can't do that.
To me, that's what I love about Batman's, even, like, c-list, or z-list, villains, is that when you look at them, there's always some kernel of them being representative of a fear in Batman that you can relate to as somebody that loves the character that way.
Beautiful.
Can either one of you two explain to me the phenomenon of Transformers? What's not to get? You get two things in one, basically.
You get a robot, which is cool, and it transforms into, like, a vehicle or which isn't that cool.
What do you mean it's not cool? Didn't they turn into toasters and stuff? - Not toasters, no.
- No? No, I remember they turned into weapons, they turned into airplanes, or they turned into bugs, like Insect.
- Insect? - It was a metal insect.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- Robot insect.
- Okay.
I was more of a Gobot guy.
- What? - Gobots? Gobots were, like, the white trash Transformers, yeah.
I mean, I hate to sound like I'm on a pedestal or anything, but - Well, let's ask this guy.
- Hey, what's up? Transformers, cool or not cool? Never mind that Gobots, white trash or not white trash? Well, yeah, Gobots were definitely the step-cousins.
- Oh.
- Sorry, dude.
All right, what can we do for you today? I got a book I want you guys to take a look at.
- I think you'll really like it.
- Ooh, yeah.
I remember this.
Heroes, the Marvel 9/11 tribute comic.
Right after the events of 9/11, Marvel Comics got together and were like, "We're gonna honor real-life heroes the firemen, the medics, the policemen.
" It looks like it's signed by some of the creators that were involved in the book, huh? Yeah, there's 11 different signatures here, and I have the certificate of authenticity with it to prove that it's signed by everybody.
Fabian Nicieza, John Romita, Sr.
, Greg and Tim Hildebrandt.
Joe Quesada you know, head of Marvel right now, but, you know, one of the most fantastic artists in comic-book history.
This is gorgeous.
They got all the industry greats, not only the artists, but the writers who put words to the images, and if I'm not mistaken Yeah, Kevin Smith.
The Quesada/McFarlane piece with Kevin's words of inspiration.
I only slipped in there 'cause I knew Quesada really well.
I had done my Daredevil run of comics with him, and Joe lives in the city.
You know, he's the editor-in-chief of Marvel Comics.
So he was affected by it on a personal level.
He grew up in the city his whole life and whatnot, so he really spearheaded it.
And I had written a poem, and he was nice enough to include it on a piece that he did.
Really cool idea.
Where'd you get it? I bought it at my local store about ten years ago, and I've just been holding on to it.
Now I think it's worth something, and I want to sell it and give the money to charity.
You're telling me, if I buy this off you today, you're gonna take the money I give you out of the register - and donate it to charity? - Yeah.
That's what the book is for, so I think that's what, you know, the money should go towards.
- Really? What charity? - The Fealgood Foundation.
Their job is to help injured firefighters and policemen, the ones that got hurt during 9/11.
- Oh, wow.
- This foundation, you know, helps those guys out with their medical bills.
Could I just first off just shake your hand? - Yeah.
- That's very honorable, and I mean, I'm proud to see someone come in here and, for once, be like, "I want to do something good with my comics.
" What do you want for it? I'm hoping to get maybe 100 bucks.
After hearing what you want to do with the money, there's no negotiation necessary.
I'm gonna give you 100 bucks, and I'm happy to do it, man.
You know, heroes do exist, Ming.
Yeah, he's standing right in front of me.
- That's great, man.
- Yeah, thanks.
It's great.
King of hero worship.
Walt's like, "He's a hero.
" You're like, "Oh, my gosh.
" Oh, come on.
What, you're gonna argue that? I could argue Walt only giving him 100 bucks.
- Are you calling him cheap? - You know what? He's right, though, you know.
A broken clock is right twice a day, and he's right right now.
- How about $150? - Sounds great.
$100, $120, $140, and $150.
It is an honor and a pleasure.
All right.
Thanks a lot, guys.
- Thank you, man.
- Take care, yeah.
Nice, man.
And then the Grinch's heart grew two sizes that day.
I had something I thought you guys might be interested - in taking a look at.
- Oh, wow.
- It's called "J.
L.
A.
United.
" - This is awesome.
If you could go to the dealership, pick out any Star Wars vehicle, what would you pick? Wow.
That's a great question.
I like that thing that the droids were on and Obi-Wan - in the very first one.
- Oh, the Landspeeder? The Landspeeder, 'cause it's only this high off the ground.
That's sort of not like flying, then.
That's a good one.
If I'm gonna fall, I'm only gonna fall this far.
At 170 Miles an hour.
I know you must be thinking about this for days.
- What's your vehicle? - I don't know.
I think mine is definitely the AT-AT - from Empire Strikes Back.
- The AT-AT? Yeah, I know it's slow, but big, intimidating.
I would've thought for sure you would've said the Millennium Falcon.
Yeah, he fancies himself a rebel.
- What about this guy? - Star Wars vehicle you go to the dealership, pick out any vehicle you want.
- I would go with the AT-AT - Exactly.
The biggest one there is.
I mean, you don't want to come out and be like, "Hey, ladies, - look at my Landspeeder.
" - Yeah.
- Oh.
- I disagree.
You come out and say, "Hey, look at the AT-AT.
" It's the same thing they say about guys who drive Lamborghinis you're making up for something, man.
She's gonna know in a split second - you're compensating.
- What you're compensating for Yeah, absolutely.
All right, so what can we do for you today? I had something I thought you guys might be interested in taking a look at.
Oh, wow.
It is a Warner brothers lithograph.
It's called "J.
L.
A.
United.
" This is awesome, man.
It's numbered, and it's signed by Howard Porter, who was the artist at the time on the justice league book when Grant Morison rebooted it.
Howard Porter was at least to me, he was an unknown, and his art was so energetic and so eye-catching.
Did you buy this at the Warner Brothers store? - Yes.
- Oh, the Warner Brothers store was always a just like a little mini Disneyland.
Kevin had his credit card on file at the Warner Brothers store, he told me.
That's nuts.
And when a new piece came in, it would be bought for him automatically.
That's some V.
I.
P.
Treatment.
I spent so much money at the Warner Brothers store.
Thankfully, it happened right around the time that, like, Clerks took off, 'cause I had enough money to buy all the stuff that I wanted, and I would go in once a week and just be like, "I'll take that one, that one, that one," put 'em all up on my walls.
It looked like I lived in the Warner Brothers store.
And then I met my wife.
One by one, those pieces started coming down.
- Why you want to sell it for? - I got four kids.
My wife works full-time, and that doesn't leave a lot of time for us to go out, have an evening out on the town, - if you will.
- Oh, wow.
She's my hero, and I'd just like the opportunity to really do something to show her how much of a Wonder Woman she really is.
You guys are gonna laugh, but Donny and Marie are supposed to come to Atlantic City, and my wife has always wanted to see them.
I'd like to surprise her.
The Osmonds? Wow, man.
That's where he wanted to take her? I thought that was so sweet clean, wholesome, good entertainment, man.
I had no idea you were such a fan.
Before you became the hard ass, the metal man that is Walt Flanagan, there's a young Walter Flanagan sitting in front of a TV, going, "I'm a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll!" What are you looking to get today for the lithograph? Well, I was looking for about $700.
- Wow.
- What is the flip it over.
Is the price tag still on there? Are you okay with just seeing Donny? It has the original price tag on it.
$275.
Uh I don't know, man.
You said that you moved a lot of these for Kevin, right? I did.
Kevin had every one of these at one point.
I want you to tell me what you think you can get for it.
Basically, you want Ming to be the one that's gonna ruin this date.
Thanks, Ming.
Out of all the Warner Brothers pieces that were out there, you know, there were some that were very desirable, a lot of them done by Alex Ross.
- You didn't buy that one.
- Yeah, you didn't buy that one.
- No.
- This one We'll offer you $300.
Would you go $350 maybe? It's your call, Ming.
$340.
I'll do $340.
- Shake the man's hand.
- All right, $340, my man.
All right, man, we've supplied the cash.
Now it's up to you to make the night a memorable one.
I'll send you guys pictures.
- Whoa.
- Send 'em to Ming.
A man with no cynicism whatsoever comes in the store without a hint of irony and says, "I want to sell this amazing thing so I can go see Donny and Marie.
" And instead of shredding him, you're just like, "I will help you.
" And I did help him.
You know, I gave him 340 bucks, and wished him good luck, and, you know, give his wife a kiss for me.
Well, there it is, folks.
You're such a lovely audience.
We'd love to take you home with us, but we can't, man.
For Comic Book Men, I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Now you know, kids, and knowing is half the battle.
Good night.