DAVE (2020) s03e04 Episode Script
Wisconsin
1
Stop calling your friends
and say you got one ♪
You out here tweakin' ♪
While you at it, call a doctor ♪
You outta pocket,
you need to stop it ♪
You saw me at the club
and it was sorta poppin' ♪
But don't make no ♪
Don't make no mistakes. ♪
GROUP: Hey!
(CHEERING AND WHOOPING)
ALL (CHANTING): Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Aww. How are you?
Hey. Welcome to tour.
Thank you. Oh, my God. What is this?
Oh, yeah, it's my alias, Dom Pagnotti.
I wanted you to feel
what I feel when I arrive.
- Okay, cool. I love it.
- Yeah. Welcome.
- Hi.
- I'll get your bag.
Oh, thank you.
- Let's go on the bus. Come on.
- ALLY: You guys, I'm here.
DAVE: Come on, everybody
in, everybody in.
- This is Cliff.
- Hi, Cliff.
- I'm Ally.
- How you doing?
Listen, no shitting on the
bus. You shit, you split.
- Okay.
- Treat her like everybody else.
- Hi, I'm Dave ♪
- It's not gonna happen.
Hi, I'm Dave. ♪
All the way, finish it all the way.
Finish this whole thing without burping,
I'll be Oh! Uh-uh.
- (BELCHING)
- (CHEERING)
- You lose.
- Can you do this shit back there?
We owe this queen some respect.
- Yeah.
- DAVE: Oh, real classy.
- Ooh.
- EMMA: What?
Kicking the Black men
to the back of the bus.
I'm just giving you a hard time.
- EMMA: Okay.
- This is how we talk.
- EMMA: Yeah.
- Tour life.
Uh, how is the search for love going?
Uh, really poorly.
Not good.
I thought it was gonna be like
the romantic climax of man.
Uh, instead, it's really
been the stark reality
of humanity.
Well, there was the girl in Utah.
Said she was big into LDS.
- Oh, Latter Day Saints.
- DAVE: Yeah, I didn't know that.
I thought she was talking baseball.
- ALLY: Why?
- Like the NLDS.
- MIKE: The National
- DAVE: It was totally coincided
- with that round of the
- He thinks normal human flaws are red flags.
ALLY: Sure, sounds reasonable.
I mean, a big one is that if
they're not Rachel McAdams,
- that's probably a
- ALLY: Ugh.
A classic.
There was one girl that
I really didn't like
the way she danced,
she was a bad dancer.
- Mm.
- Dave
I love bad dancers
who have, like, all
that spirit and charm.
But when you're a bad dancer,
and you think that you're not,
and like you're trying to be cool,
but you're not,
that's a bad attitude.
And I don't I
can't I can't do that.
Wait. By the way, can you do me a favor?
Can you add a name to
the list, for tonight?
Please. It's my
pleasure, that's my power.
We can do that. We
have We have that power.
I know, but it's, that's my job.
- Yeah, but I'm just saying I could
- What's his name?
- You can do it if you want.
- MIKE: What is his name?
- Do your job.
- What's the name?
Roy Winters.
MIKE: Roy Winters,
the silent film actor.
- I love him.
- You strumpet.
Okay, I knew that you
were going to do this.
This Roy guy from college,
"they're just friends."
All this time, Dave
here had a suspicion.
Turns out, Dave here was right again.
I never hooked up with him.
I just want to win the
argument that I've always won.
ALLY: I understand that.
And I can't win it unless
you admit that I've won it.
So what are you
intentions with this man?
My intentions
(VOCALIZING)
Great. Everybody's creaming.
I love your vibe, it's
so chill right now.
Thank you for saying that.
I am just a chill girl about
to have some casual sex.
What do you want to do first?
You want to roll me around in a stroller
while I smoke this baby?
No, I said I'm gonna
see you at the show.
But beforehand, I need to be Rhianna.
And focus on my
Well, can I just point out that Rhianna
is notoriously a very good friend
and she would go to the botanical
gardens with me and smoke.
Will you do this?
- Yeah, I got you.
- ALLY: Yay.
- Here.
- Thank you.
Oh, by the way, should I wear, uh, this?
Yeah, that's cute, I like that one.
Stop. You're fucking gorgeous.
Which is like
coming here to fuck Roy Winters?
Why? You've known him for ten years.
It's like fucking an iPhone 5.
Jim just hurt my feelings and was all
"I don't have the emotional bandwidth
for a relationship right now."
And Roy has always said that
I'm his dream girl and so it's easy.
You have a fucking vagina.
It's always easy.
You could literally stand
there and they'd fuck you.
You could walk outside,
everybody wants to fuck you.
The goal is to not get fucked.
Hmm.
Not tonight.
- Cheers to that.
- Mm-hmm.
Will you look at my butthole real quick?
I think I cut it while shaving.
- Check, check.
- Man, these sound crispy.
- Check, check.
- Check, check, sound check.
Check, check, check, check.
Gata, what are your thoughts
on Madison, Wisconsin, brother?
- You rocking with it?
- Check, check. Last time I was in Wisconsin,
you ain't gonna believe it,
I really pissed on a bitch.
Okay. Those are the kind of things
you shouldn't say into the microphone.
Because other people can hear it,
and you can get cancelled, then I
She wanted me to do it, bro.
I'm just letting you know
the energy is dope out here, bro.
Man, I fucked a bitch out
here with my socks off.
You normally fuck with your socks on?
- Check, check, check, check.
- Check.
- Check, check.
- Hey.
- Hey. Oh, yeah. Okay.
- I have to I have to.
Right, you know, can we
talk away from the stage?
- Please?
- I have been waiting for hours.
I know, but let's talk
away from the stage.
- Okay, sure.
- All right, so
we don't have any time to do this.
I know you want to do the
click stuff, but I just, we can't.
I'm a photographer.
You guys booked this.
I don't know why you're
acting like I'm just
voluntarily coming
here and wanting to
MIKE: My point is, we
got crunched for time.
You're done.
I'm confused.
I've been here all day.
The window that you told me
was from 2:00 to 4:00,
it's now almost 4:30.
And it just (WHOOSHES)
closed right up on you.
I feel like you really
mismanage your time
and now you're just being a dick.
MIKE: I'm sorry we ran into
traffic and there was a big truck.
And I think it was a pilaf truck,
- like rice-rice pilafs.
- Dude.
- And they were block
- If you're gonna lie,
- just do it better.
- MIKE: That's not a lie.
That's not a lie. I
don't know what you
- Is everything okay down there?
- Yeah, everything is totally fine.
The picture girl's here.
- I'm a photographer.
- And she's
- Okay, same thing.
- Your organization
is incredibly disorganized.
Should I come resolve the situation?
- Yes.
- No. Please just finish sound check.
- I'm having trouble hearing you guys.
- I'm not a picture girl, that's
It's the same thing, kind of.
- You take pictures.
- I don't think that's true at all.
- Look what you did.
- Excuse me?
Look what you did.
Are you joking?
- Dude, I
- Hi. What's going on?
- Hi. I'm Robyn.
- Dave. Nice to meet you, Robyn.
- Nice to meet you.
- DAVE: Nice jumpsuit.
- Uh, thanks.
- DAVE: Funky.
- Funky.
- For the magazine spread,
I have to take photos,
it's a whole layout,
- I can't just get photos of you onstage.
- DAVE: Of course not.
I am now being told that I have no time.
Well, who the heck is saying that?
- I did.
- He is.
- Oh, this guy?
- That's right.
You can't listen to a word he says.
He's got it all wrong all the time.
I mean, I'm just kidding, but
it does feel like some
sort of mismanaged situation
- has occurred.
- It's not mismanaged at all. That's not true
- It does sound exactly like that.
- I can't really be controlled.
And that's kind of like the
elephant in the room here.
He's realizing that, he's probably
gonna walk away very soon.
Yep. See?
Bye.
(CHUCKLES) Off the record.
There's no record.
I'm just here to take photos.
Off the visual record.
One thing you should
realize is I'm sorry.
Why would saying
sorry be off the record?
I don't know.
In all seriousness, I do feel terrible.
If we fucked you over in
any way and you thought
you had something and it's not, I'm
Please, let me make it up to you.
I can give you my whole
afternoon if need be.
Okay, well, I don't actually
have the whole afternoon.
I have another shoot later.
But I do have a kind of fun,
non-traditional idea if you're down.
Will it be non-traditional
if I'm traditionally non-traditional?
Uh
And it's not a riddle. Think on it.
Gata, I need you to do
sound check without me, okay?
- Got you, bro.
- Cool.
Pissin' on a bitch, bitch ♪
Hey, bitch. (LAUGHS)
Hey!
- Hi.
- Oh, you look
fantastic.
- You, too. Hey.
- Oh, my God. Hey.
I got you, uh, your college drink.
- A Midori Sour.
- Oh.
Quick question. In what world
would I still be drinking Midori Sours?
In my world.
From like ten years ago
where we're still in college
and everything is the same.
That's cute. I will not
drink this, but thank you.
I just had to fuck with you.
- I already got a lane.
- (LAUGHS)
So let me get this straight.
Um, you flew out here
to take me to your
ex-boyfriend's concert?
Yeah, because that's like
a totally normal and adult
- emotionally stable thing to do.
- Totally.
Which is what I thought
when you reached out
and then I had the thought like
we should also, we
should hit up my ex-wife.
Okay, I'm glad that you said it.
- You were gonna
- Because I was gonna, yeah.
For sure. Yeah. Let's
pick the bitch up. (LAUGHS)
- Okay.
- Sorry.
She's not a bitch.
- Or may I mean, probably.
- Debatable.
Ex-wife.
That's like so adult of you.
- It is, isn't it?
- You've been like fully married.
- Fully.
- And then fully divorced.
- Fully.
- Which means
that you could be a Real Housewife.
You know?
Honestly, the whole thing was
pretty traumatic.
- Yeah.
- Um, kind of like
wrecked me. I won't get into the details
- of all of it, but
- (INSECT BUZZING)
- (CHOKES)
- It's good, like I'm-I'm
I'm totally fine now.
- (COUGHS)
- And, um
I mean, we're not like best friends
- or anything by any means, but
- Yeah.
- (GAGGING)
- You okay?
(WHEEZING): I think I swallowed a bug.
It's like inside of me.
You swallowed a bug?
Um, here, you should
probably drink this.
Because it's like acid.
It'll kill the larvae.
- Or if it was a
- (HACKING)
(GROWLS, SNIFFS)
Okay, lift up your dress.
(CLICKING)
Okay, move it a little bit?
- I love being a woman.
- What did you say?
I said I love this.
Move your body but just like stay here.
- DAVE: Okay, no problem.
- (CAMERA CLICKING)
That's kind of
What if we get a little
more hip-hop in this?
- I don't know, man.
- DAVE: What am I gonna do?
- ROBYN: I think you're gonna jump.
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
You get it?
This is terrible. Let's go.
Put your legs out.
- DAVE: Legs out?
- Yeah.
Not like that.
- Okay. Timid.
- Yeah.
So what's your deal?
How's tour been? You just
drowning in pussy?
Uh
Uh, I don't like hooking
up with girls like that.
- Right.
- Is the implication that
- I carry myself like a player?
- No.
Yes. Not No, no.
- Ultimately, no.
- Mm.
All I want is like a girlfriend, really.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- Huh.
- So, what about you?
You must be
up to your neck in big dick energy.
Up to my neck in big dick energy?
- I'm just trying to ask you about your life.
- Huh.
- Not now. Yeah.
- Sure.
ROBYN: It's not really my priority.
Career?
- Sure. There's other things.
- Yeah.
- Besides that, yeah. Yeah.
- I can only imagine.
Tell me about Wisconsin.
Do you love it here?
Like do you think you're gonna die here?
Do I think I'm gonna die in Wisconsin?
That's a crazy question to ask
- Is it?
- a stranger, I guess.
I'm not saying like die here today,
I'm saying like do you
think you want to live
the rest of your life in this place?
No, I don't think I do.
But my family's here and
You've got deep roots.
Yeah. Plus, we have snow days.
- I love snow days.
- All right.
Get back to work. Another position.
Titanic?
- Ah.
- Whoa.
How's this?
You look effulgent.
I love the way you speak.
Thank you.
Why don't I take you
into my world a little?
All right.
This is the Scroguard.
The Scroguard?
It is an STD preventative tool.
Do you? You fuck in that?
- Yeah, I do.
- Do you? You have?
You fuck women in that?
Exclusively women.
- Okay.
- Do you wash it?
Yeah, I wash it. I'm not a monster.
- (SNIFFS) You do wash it.
- I do.
I Can I try it on?
By all means try it on.
Uh, just be careful with it
because I do have only one
and the company like
totally went out of business.
What is this? You fuck
This is crazy.
- We're the same size, scrote-size.
- Yeah.
You like it?
I feel so protected.
What you're feeling is peace of mind.
I feel like you get it.
And you're still hard after all of that?
- Oh, if there's a woman?
- I just wanna like
Yeah, take that, you
little groupie slut.
(LAUGHTER)
I don't talk during.
- But, yeah, you make it look good.
- Yeah, I don't know, this is, uh
You're a weirdly honest person.
I have a whole wonderland of, uh,
equipment, devices.
There's Don't you have that, uh
You said you had a thing.
How are we doing on time?
Oh, yeah, I-I That was a lie.
- I lied.
- You lied?
- Yeah.
- For what?
To be impressive.
Oh.
Why?
To impress you.
- Thank you for
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- Sorry. I
Crossed the line and I'm sorry,
I should not have done that.
I misread the situation.
I'm off the clock.
Splendid.
(LAUGHS)
So not even the beach?
No. Never fully submerged.
So you mean to tell me that like no one
has ever seen you just completely wet?
I'm doing everyone a
favor by not doing it.
I look like if the girl from The Ring
- was like a little round Polish boy.
- (LAUGHTER)
Like that's I'm
That's what it looks like.
- Okay.
- (PHONE RINGING)
Oh, um, this is a work call.
I really got to take
it. I'm so sorry. Uh
- Is that okay? Is that rude?
- Yeah, of course. No, you're fine.
- You're not gonna
- Go, yeah, work bought me drinks.
- I'll be like Okay. Cool.
- (PHONE RINGING)
(PHONE DINGS)
♪
ROY: Love the form.
I see you're as athletic as I remember.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
The show starts in like
an hour if you want to go.
Uh, sorry about that.
I will put this away.
Let's skip it and
let's go to your place.
- Okay.
- Yeah?
- (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
- Hey.
Oh.
Gata showed up late again
with a bunch a different women.
It's like he's trying to get catfished
and murdered at the same time.
(CHUCKLES WEAKLY)
NPR rescheduled. So, you're welcome.
Thank you.
Who are you texting? What are you doing?
Robyn.
I'm like totally locked in.
Yeah.
GATA: Y'all ready for
the professional rapper?
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
What y'all trying to do?
Lil Dicky!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(CHEERING)
Wisconsin, I think I'm in love!
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
You know, um
I have wanted to do this
for a very long time.
(LAUGHS)
That was nice.
It (CHUCKLES)
I can't even tell you.
Every girl that I've
gone out with lately,
I have to have that awkward
"I'm emotionally
unavailable" conversation.
So this is very nice for a change.
Yeah, yeah, no conversation needed.
It's like just one night only, you know?
- I don't know what I'm doing. Music.
- Oh.
- I should turn some music on.
- Yeah.
Rock on, baby. (CHUCKLES)
- What'd you think of the show?
- I loved it.
I can't believe I haven't showered.
Tough to do a concert and
not shower and be so
- (MUMBLES, SNIFFS)
- You like it?
Yeah.
Wait, isn't this exactly
where we were, earlier today?
Yeah. I live here.
- You live here?
- Yeah.
Why didn't you tell
me that you lived here?
I just generally don't
like to, you know,
tell people that I'm working
with that I live in the space.
- (MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY OUTSIDE)
- Oh.
Ugh!
Every night, my neighbor
just plays this music,
it's really annoying actually.
Is it always like this here?
- It's not, it's
- It's a big party neighborhood?
I don't think there's a party.
That's Cute.
DAVE: There's like a little
bit of a buzz on the block.
So you got to be in
here every night just
- doing stuff like this?
- ROBYN: Never.
I really can't dance. I-I
It's like my most embarrassing quality.
- Oh, please, everyone can dance.
- No, no, I
- I-I hate it about myself.
- Everyone can dance.
- No.
- Tonight you do, come on.
- No, I
- Why not? What's wrong with dancing?
- It's so easy. You just
- My joints are like
Just live your truth,
come on. Do something.
There it is.
- I need more.
- No.
I need more. You're a vision.
- I'm embarrassed.
- Why? You're incredible.
Come on.
Yeah, whip the hair.
Whip the hair again. Yeah!
Since I got you,
don't need painkillers ♪
Mm. Mm. Mm.
You, come here.
No fever ♪
- Did you used to grind?
- Oh, yeah.
- Like, when everyone used to just, like?
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I used to stand against
the back of the wall in high school,
- actually, and I'd watch the other kids.
- I used to do that, too. Okay.
♪
(ROBYN LAUGHS)
♪
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHING, MUMBLING)
Ow, if I be sick,
nah she be medicine ♪
If I be high, nah she be gbana ♪
If I did sing, nah she be ♪
(BOTH PANTING, MOANING)
(LAUGHS)
I'm not used to muscle.
(LAUGHING)
Slow has merit.
Want to go up a level?
- I don't know what means, but yes, yeah, yeah.
- Oh. Okay.
Oh! Oh, my God.
(GASPING)
(PANTING)
- I had an underbite.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't like to expose
my underbite. Look.
- I'll do it for you because we're comfortable.
- Okay.
- Mm.
- (GASPING)
Oh, my God. Oh, fuck me.
- Oh! (LAUGHING)
- Fuck!
Do girls like this at all?
(VOICE SHAKING): Uh, no,
it's just more disruptive
to like how I'm speaking.
ROY: I am so sorry.
The show must go on, you know?
- I am so sorry.
- No, honestly, it's hot.
- What race are you?
- What?
Are you I don't want to ask,
but I feel like you're Latina?
I'm half Chinese.
- Chinese?
- I think it's Latinx.
Yeah.
Amen, sister.
Did you say "Amen, sister"?
Yeah, I-I wanted to say like halleluiah
or like what's a Chinese
like I don't want to bow.
Do you remember, um,
at Mooney's senior year
when you said I was your dream girl?
I don't remember that, but
it makes sense.
(LAUGHING)
♪
- No.
- I'm like No?
What are you doing?
Kegeling or keegel I'm
making the head just
No.
- I don't There's no
- I'm dripping sweat on you.
Do you want me to get a condom?
- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
(CHUCKLES)
I got some new friends ♪
But you still want me. ♪
(PANTING)
- Okay.
- Um, sorry.
Sorry, can we hold on one second?
Yeah. Of course. No pressure.
No rush.
Sorry, I'm so sorry, um
Whew. Uh
I'm sorry, I thought I
could do this, but I'm
now realizing that I can't.
Oh.
- Okay, did I do something?
- No.
No, you You were, you were great.
You were great. I just
- Ugh.
- You want to talk about it?
Yeah, I mean
I just thought, I thought
with all of this
history between us and me
just getting out of something
that this would be kind
of like a perfect
rebound situation.
I mean, I get it, I just
I got out of something, too.
- Yeah.
- So it's
I-I'm just not a-a casual sex girl,
I-I've never even had
sex on a first date.
- So
- (CHUCKLING)
You're kidding, right? I've
known you over a decade.
It's not really the same thing, this
No, I don't do anything like this, I
I really
This, it's just, it's feeling like
I'm-I'm doing something
that I shouldn't be doing.
- Okay.
- Which I'm not
- like trying to be mean, I'm just
- That's cool. No, I'm gonna
I re I
(FAUCET RUNNING)
I wish that I could explain it better.
Did I like gaslight you or something?
Are you gaslit?
- No, I
- ROY: You don't owe me anything, but
you kind of set up an expectation,
you sent me a nude.
ALLY: Yeah, no, I
I thought
that you kind of saw me differently.
- (SPITS)
- (FAUCET RUNS)
Look, in case I wasn't totally clear,
I don't want a relationship.
No, I am not asking for one.
I feel like you're kind
of fucking with my head.
And I'm confused because I
just was telling you that
- No, no.
- I don't have the emotional bandwidth
- or the availability.
- No, no.
You don't need to reject my rejection.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, at least that's clear.
Yeah, that is crystal clear.
What are you thinking about?
- Right now?
- Yeah.
Uh, well
I'm thinking about how I
have a cut on my cuticle here.
And I'm thinking, can you get HIV
from like having that
cut on a finger and
the finger's fingering?
I was just, like, evaluating the odds.
On whether or not I have AIDS?
How do you even sleep
at night with all of those
crazy thoughts?
I sleep really well, actually.
- Really?
- Eight hours a night.
- Surprising.
- Really?
You have the personality
of a real insomniac.
No, I created a total thought process
that just works like a charm.
What is it?
- Okay, I'll tell you. Yeah, buckle up.
- What?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- So I imagine that it's the Holocaust.
- Okay.
Yeah. And that I am in Nazi Germany
and I have been on the
run for like 18 days.
Couldn't be colder.
It's winter, by the way.
There's snow all over the ground.
It's the most stressful
thing in the world.
And I've finally arrived
at a family friend's house.
They bring me up to the attic, right?
And we go up to that
attic and it's so warm.
- Mm.
- There's like wood floors,
there's a fireplace always to
the left, crackling fireplace,
and then out the window, you
can see like the amber light
and the snow just like falling slowly.
And I don't even have a mattress,
I can hear the hum of
the militia and the tanks
and the Nazis like
barking at one another,
but at that moment it
doesn't even matter.
Because I'm so warm, I'm so cozy,
and I'm so tired,
and then I just wake
up eight hours later.
Wow. That's
You get it, right?
Yeah.
Today was like the most
fun day I've ever had.
Yeah.
I wish you weren't leaving.
Well, the second I do,
you know that every single guy in
Wisconsin is gonna descend upon you
and you're gonna have your
total pick of the litter.
And you're gonna make some
guy's dreams come true.
Yeah.
Oh, what time is it?
It's late.
Feels late.
Feels late and early at once.
Um, I don't want to be rude,
but I-I have to get up so early tomorrow
and I didn't know what
time it was until just now.
You're asking me to leave.
I re it's a big gig and I
don't want to fuck it up and
I really have to call it a night.
- It's a big thing.
- I get it. You're a Career.
Maybe it's just better I-I don't
- You're a career woman.
- I didn't know how late it was.
You need to sleep. I understand.
No one empathizes with that situation
more than me, I get it. (EXHALES)
Yeah.
I have your number.
(CHUCKLES WEAKLY)
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.
You said that?
I don't even know if that's the
comment that turned the tide,
and if it was, I was just
being complimentary, like
Yeah, but you don't need to
like tell the truth all the time.
You could, you know, just
She was great, I thought.
Okay, well, then don't give up on her.
Like call her from the road or whatever.
Honestly, if you're
gonna get that thrown
by one small comment,
then there's some deeper
insecurity, like underneath.
And I'm happy I saw it
sooner than later, so
Dave, you have to forgive
people for not being perfect.
Enough about me. What happened with Roy?
(SIGHS) I'm realizing that
I can't just hook up.
Like, it doesn't have
to mean everything,
but it can't mean nothing,
if that makes sense.
Makes perfect sense. I get it.
But, you know, I'm just
trying to fill the void, I guess.
That is me every single night.
Especially on tour.
But there's still time.
Yeah.
You know, I've never told you this,
but the best thing that you've ever done
is not get back together
with me when I tried to.
Why? Because you're
America's most eligible bachelor now?
No, because I would've
fucked it up between us
and you don't deserve that at all.
We're in such a good place and
I'm so happy to have you in my life
and anyone who doesn't want
you in their lives is a fucking loser.
You deserve everything.
LD, what's good, bro?
I got more flavors than
Baskin-Robbins, bro.
- Got them lined up for you.
- Oh.
Classic Gata.
I'm okay, man. This
guy's out of his mind.
GATA: You sure? I've been
listening to you, bro.
I got all the types you said, bro.
I got the neighborhood
girl, around-the-way look,
all that shit you was talking about?
Let me just see if he
has an understanding
of the type of woman
I'm even interested in.
- Yeah.
- Like I made him watch Wedding Crashers,
it's just good for the
rest of the tour that he
One second. Be right back.
♪
DAVE: Hi.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
I'm Dave, nice to meet you.
- ♪
♪
- (CHATTER CONTINUES)
♪
♪
♪
♪
Stop calling your friends
and say you got one ♪
You out here tweakin' ♪
While you at it, call a doctor ♪
You outta pocket,
you need to stop it ♪
You saw me at the club
and it was sorta poppin' ♪
But don't make no ♪
Don't make no mistakes. ♪
GROUP: Hey!
(CHEERING AND WHOOPING)
ALL (CHANTING): Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Aww. How are you?
Hey. Welcome to tour.
Thank you. Oh, my God. What is this?
Oh, yeah, it's my alias, Dom Pagnotti.
I wanted you to feel
what I feel when I arrive.
- Okay, cool. I love it.
- Yeah. Welcome.
- Hi.
- I'll get your bag.
Oh, thank you.
- Let's go on the bus. Come on.
- ALLY: You guys, I'm here.
DAVE: Come on, everybody
in, everybody in.
- This is Cliff.
- Hi, Cliff.
- I'm Ally.
- How you doing?
Listen, no shitting on the
bus. You shit, you split.
- Okay.
- Treat her like everybody else.
- Hi, I'm Dave ♪
- It's not gonna happen.
Hi, I'm Dave. ♪
All the way, finish it all the way.
Finish this whole thing without burping,
I'll be Oh! Uh-uh.
- (BELCHING)
- (CHEERING)
- You lose.
- Can you do this shit back there?
We owe this queen some respect.
- Yeah.
- DAVE: Oh, real classy.
- Ooh.
- EMMA: What?
Kicking the Black men
to the back of the bus.
I'm just giving you a hard time.
- EMMA: Okay.
- This is how we talk.
- EMMA: Yeah.
- Tour life.
Uh, how is the search for love going?
Uh, really poorly.
Not good.
I thought it was gonna be like
the romantic climax of man.
Uh, instead, it's really
been the stark reality
of humanity.
Well, there was the girl in Utah.
Said she was big into LDS.
- Oh, Latter Day Saints.
- DAVE: Yeah, I didn't know that.
I thought she was talking baseball.
- ALLY: Why?
- Like the NLDS.
- MIKE: The National
- DAVE: It was totally coincided
- with that round of the
- He thinks normal human flaws are red flags.
ALLY: Sure, sounds reasonable.
I mean, a big one is that if
they're not Rachel McAdams,
- that's probably a
- ALLY: Ugh.
A classic.
There was one girl that
I really didn't like
the way she danced,
she was a bad dancer.
- Mm.
- Dave
I love bad dancers
who have, like, all
that spirit and charm.
But when you're a bad dancer,
and you think that you're not,
and like you're trying to be cool,
but you're not,
that's a bad attitude.
And I don't I
can't I can't do that.
Wait. By the way, can you do me a favor?
Can you add a name to
the list, for tonight?
Please. It's my
pleasure, that's my power.
We can do that. We
have We have that power.
I know, but it's, that's my job.
- Yeah, but I'm just saying I could
- What's his name?
- You can do it if you want.
- MIKE: What is his name?
- Do your job.
- What's the name?
Roy Winters.
MIKE: Roy Winters,
the silent film actor.
- I love him.
- You strumpet.
Okay, I knew that you
were going to do this.
This Roy guy from college,
"they're just friends."
All this time, Dave
here had a suspicion.
Turns out, Dave here was right again.
I never hooked up with him.
I just want to win the
argument that I've always won.
ALLY: I understand that.
And I can't win it unless
you admit that I've won it.
So what are you
intentions with this man?
My intentions
(VOCALIZING)
Great. Everybody's creaming.
I love your vibe, it's
so chill right now.
Thank you for saying that.
I am just a chill girl about
to have some casual sex.
What do you want to do first?
You want to roll me around in a stroller
while I smoke this baby?
No, I said I'm gonna
see you at the show.
But beforehand, I need to be Rhianna.
And focus on my
Well, can I just point out that Rhianna
is notoriously a very good friend
and she would go to the botanical
gardens with me and smoke.
Will you do this?
- Yeah, I got you.
- ALLY: Yay.
- Here.
- Thank you.
Oh, by the way, should I wear, uh, this?
Yeah, that's cute, I like that one.
Stop. You're fucking gorgeous.
Which is like
coming here to fuck Roy Winters?
Why? You've known him for ten years.
It's like fucking an iPhone 5.
Jim just hurt my feelings and was all
"I don't have the emotional bandwidth
for a relationship right now."
And Roy has always said that
I'm his dream girl and so it's easy.
You have a fucking vagina.
It's always easy.
You could literally stand
there and they'd fuck you.
You could walk outside,
everybody wants to fuck you.
The goal is to not get fucked.
Hmm.
Not tonight.
- Cheers to that.
- Mm-hmm.
Will you look at my butthole real quick?
I think I cut it while shaving.
- Check, check.
- Man, these sound crispy.
- Check, check.
- Check, check, sound check.
Check, check, check, check.
Gata, what are your thoughts
on Madison, Wisconsin, brother?
- You rocking with it?
- Check, check. Last time I was in Wisconsin,
you ain't gonna believe it,
I really pissed on a bitch.
Okay. Those are the kind of things
you shouldn't say into the microphone.
Because other people can hear it,
and you can get cancelled, then I
She wanted me to do it, bro.
I'm just letting you know
the energy is dope out here, bro.
Man, I fucked a bitch out
here with my socks off.
You normally fuck with your socks on?
- Check, check, check, check.
- Check.
- Check, check.
- Hey.
- Hey. Oh, yeah. Okay.
- I have to I have to.
Right, you know, can we
talk away from the stage?
- Please?
- I have been waiting for hours.
I know, but let's talk
away from the stage.
- Okay, sure.
- All right, so
we don't have any time to do this.
I know you want to do the
click stuff, but I just, we can't.
I'm a photographer.
You guys booked this.
I don't know why you're
acting like I'm just
voluntarily coming
here and wanting to
MIKE: My point is, we
got crunched for time.
You're done.
I'm confused.
I've been here all day.
The window that you told me
was from 2:00 to 4:00,
it's now almost 4:30.
And it just (WHOOSHES)
closed right up on you.
I feel like you really
mismanage your time
and now you're just being a dick.
MIKE: I'm sorry we ran into
traffic and there was a big truck.
And I think it was a pilaf truck,
- like rice-rice pilafs.
- Dude.
- And they were block
- If you're gonna lie,
- just do it better.
- MIKE: That's not a lie.
That's not a lie. I
don't know what you
- Is everything okay down there?
- Yeah, everything is totally fine.
The picture girl's here.
- I'm a photographer.
- And she's
- Okay, same thing.
- Your organization
is incredibly disorganized.
Should I come resolve the situation?
- Yes.
- No. Please just finish sound check.
- I'm having trouble hearing you guys.
- I'm not a picture girl, that's
It's the same thing, kind of.
- You take pictures.
- I don't think that's true at all.
- Look what you did.
- Excuse me?
Look what you did.
Are you joking?
- Dude, I
- Hi. What's going on?
- Hi. I'm Robyn.
- Dave. Nice to meet you, Robyn.
- Nice to meet you.
- DAVE: Nice jumpsuit.
- Uh, thanks.
- DAVE: Funky.
- Funky.
- For the magazine spread,
I have to take photos,
it's a whole layout,
- I can't just get photos of you onstage.
- DAVE: Of course not.
I am now being told that I have no time.
Well, who the heck is saying that?
- I did.
- He is.
- Oh, this guy?
- That's right.
You can't listen to a word he says.
He's got it all wrong all the time.
I mean, I'm just kidding, but
it does feel like some
sort of mismanaged situation
- has occurred.
- It's not mismanaged at all. That's not true
- It does sound exactly like that.
- I can't really be controlled.
And that's kind of like the
elephant in the room here.
He's realizing that, he's probably
gonna walk away very soon.
Yep. See?
Bye.
(CHUCKLES) Off the record.
There's no record.
I'm just here to take photos.
Off the visual record.
One thing you should
realize is I'm sorry.
Why would saying
sorry be off the record?
I don't know.
In all seriousness, I do feel terrible.
If we fucked you over in
any way and you thought
you had something and it's not, I'm
Please, let me make it up to you.
I can give you my whole
afternoon if need be.
Okay, well, I don't actually
have the whole afternoon.
I have another shoot later.
But I do have a kind of fun,
non-traditional idea if you're down.
Will it be non-traditional
if I'm traditionally non-traditional?
Uh
And it's not a riddle. Think on it.
Gata, I need you to do
sound check without me, okay?
- Got you, bro.
- Cool.
Pissin' on a bitch, bitch ♪
Hey, bitch. (LAUGHS)
Hey!
- Hi.
- Oh, you look
fantastic.
- You, too. Hey.
- Oh, my God. Hey.
I got you, uh, your college drink.
- A Midori Sour.
- Oh.
Quick question. In what world
would I still be drinking Midori Sours?
In my world.
From like ten years ago
where we're still in college
and everything is the same.
That's cute. I will not
drink this, but thank you.
I just had to fuck with you.
- I already got a lane.
- (LAUGHS)
So let me get this straight.
Um, you flew out here
to take me to your
ex-boyfriend's concert?
Yeah, because that's like
a totally normal and adult
- emotionally stable thing to do.
- Totally.
Which is what I thought
when you reached out
and then I had the thought like
we should also, we
should hit up my ex-wife.
Okay, I'm glad that you said it.
- You were gonna
- Because I was gonna, yeah.
For sure. Yeah. Let's
pick the bitch up. (LAUGHS)
- Okay.
- Sorry.
She's not a bitch.
- Or may I mean, probably.
- Debatable.
Ex-wife.
That's like so adult of you.
- It is, isn't it?
- You've been like fully married.
- Fully.
- And then fully divorced.
- Fully.
- Which means
that you could be a Real Housewife.
You know?
Honestly, the whole thing was
pretty traumatic.
- Yeah.
- Um, kind of like
wrecked me. I won't get into the details
- of all of it, but
- (INSECT BUZZING)
- (CHOKES)
- It's good, like I'm-I'm
I'm totally fine now.
- (COUGHS)
- And, um
I mean, we're not like best friends
- or anything by any means, but
- Yeah.
- (GAGGING)
- You okay?
(WHEEZING): I think I swallowed a bug.
It's like inside of me.
You swallowed a bug?
Um, here, you should
probably drink this.
Because it's like acid.
It'll kill the larvae.
- Or if it was a
- (HACKING)
(GROWLS, SNIFFS)
Okay, lift up your dress.
(CLICKING)
Okay, move it a little bit?
- I love being a woman.
- What did you say?
I said I love this.
Move your body but just like stay here.
- DAVE: Okay, no problem.
- (CAMERA CLICKING)
That's kind of
What if we get a little
more hip-hop in this?
- I don't know, man.
- DAVE: What am I gonna do?
- ROBYN: I think you're gonna jump.
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
You get it?
This is terrible. Let's go.
Put your legs out.
- DAVE: Legs out?
- Yeah.
Not like that.
- Okay. Timid.
- Yeah.
So what's your deal?
How's tour been? You just
drowning in pussy?
Uh
Uh, I don't like hooking
up with girls like that.
- Right.
- Is the implication that
- I carry myself like a player?
- No.
Yes. Not No, no.
- Ultimately, no.
- Mm.
All I want is like a girlfriend, really.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- Huh.
- So, what about you?
You must be
up to your neck in big dick energy.
Up to my neck in big dick energy?
- I'm just trying to ask you about your life.
- Huh.
- Not now. Yeah.
- Sure.
ROBYN: It's not really my priority.
Career?
- Sure. There's other things.
- Yeah.
- Besides that, yeah. Yeah.
- I can only imagine.
Tell me about Wisconsin.
Do you love it here?
Like do you think you're gonna die here?
Do I think I'm gonna die in Wisconsin?
That's a crazy question to ask
- Is it?
- a stranger, I guess.
I'm not saying like die here today,
I'm saying like do you
think you want to live
the rest of your life in this place?
No, I don't think I do.
But my family's here and
You've got deep roots.
Yeah. Plus, we have snow days.
- I love snow days.
- All right.
Get back to work. Another position.
Titanic?
- Ah.
- Whoa.
How's this?
You look effulgent.
I love the way you speak.
Thank you.
Why don't I take you
into my world a little?
All right.
This is the Scroguard.
The Scroguard?
It is an STD preventative tool.
Do you? You fuck in that?
- Yeah, I do.
- Do you? You have?
You fuck women in that?
Exclusively women.
- Okay.
- Do you wash it?
Yeah, I wash it. I'm not a monster.
- (SNIFFS) You do wash it.
- I do.
I Can I try it on?
By all means try it on.
Uh, just be careful with it
because I do have only one
and the company like
totally went out of business.
What is this? You fuck
This is crazy.
- We're the same size, scrote-size.
- Yeah.
You like it?
I feel so protected.
What you're feeling is peace of mind.
I feel like you get it.
And you're still hard after all of that?
- Oh, if there's a woman?
- I just wanna like
Yeah, take that, you
little groupie slut.
(LAUGHTER)
I don't talk during.
- But, yeah, you make it look good.
- Yeah, I don't know, this is, uh
You're a weirdly honest person.
I have a whole wonderland of, uh,
equipment, devices.
There's Don't you have that, uh
You said you had a thing.
How are we doing on time?
Oh, yeah, I-I That was a lie.
- I lied.
- You lied?
- Yeah.
- For what?
To be impressive.
Oh.
Why?
To impress you.
- Thank you for
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- Sorry. I
Crossed the line and I'm sorry,
I should not have done that.
I misread the situation.
I'm off the clock.
Splendid.
(LAUGHS)
So not even the beach?
No. Never fully submerged.
So you mean to tell me that like no one
has ever seen you just completely wet?
I'm doing everyone a
favor by not doing it.
I look like if the girl from The Ring
- was like a little round Polish boy.
- (LAUGHTER)
Like that's I'm
That's what it looks like.
- Okay.
- (PHONE RINGING)
Oh, um, this is a work call.
I really got to take
it. I'm so sorry. Uh
- Is that okay? Is that rude?
- Yeah, of course. No, you're fine.
- You're not gonna
- Go, yeah, work bought me drinks.
- I'll be like Okay. Cool.
- (PHONE RINGING)
(PHONE DINGS)
♪
ROY: Love the form.
I see you're as athletic as I remember.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
The show starts in like
an hour if you want to go.
Uh, sorry about that.
I will put this away.
Let's skip it and
let's go to your place.
- Okay.
- Yeah?
- (AUDIENCE CHEERING)
- Hey.
Oh.
Gata showed up late again
with a bunch a different women.
It's like he's trying to get catfished
and murdered at the same time.
(CHUCKLES WEAKLY)
NPR rescheduled. So, you're welcome.
Thank you.
Who are you texting? What are you doing?
Robyn.
I'm like totally locked in.
Yeah.
GATA: Y'all ready for
the professional rapper?
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
What y'all trying to do?
Lil Dicky!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(CHEERING)
Wisconsin, I think I'm in love!
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
You know, um
I have wanted to do this
for a very long time.
(LAUGHS)
That was nice.
It (CHUCKLES)
I can't even tell you.
Every girl that I've
gone out with lately,
I have to have that awkward
"I'm emotionally
unavailable" conversation.
So this is very nice for a change.
Yeah, yeah, no conversation needed.
It's like just one night only, you know?
- I don't know what I'm doing. Music.
- Oh.
- I should turn some music on.
- Yeah.
Rock on, baby. (CHUCKLES)
- What'd you think of the show?
- I loved it.
I can't believe I haven't showered.
Tough to do a concert and
not shower and be so
- (MUMBLES, SNIFFS)
- You like it?
Yeah.
Wait, isn't this exactly
where we were, earlier today?
Yeah. I live here.
- You live here?
- Yeah.
Why didn't you tell
me that you lived here?
I just generally don't
like to, you know,
tell people that I'm working
with that I live in the space.
- (MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY OUTSIDE)
- Oh.
Ugh!
Every night, my neighbor
just plays this music,
it's really annoying actually.
Is it always like this here?
- It's not, it's
- It's a big party neighborhood?
I don't think there's a party.
That's Cute.
DAVE: There's like a little
bit of a buzz on the block.
So you got to be in
here every night just
- doing stuff like this?
- ROBYN: Never.
I really can't dance. I-I
It's like my most embarrassing quality.
- Oh, please, everyone can dance.
- No, no, I
- I-I hate it about myself.
- Everyone can dance.
- No.
- Tonight you do, come on.
- No, I
- Why not? What's wrong with dancing?
- It's so easy. You just
- My joints are like
Just live your truth,
come on. Do something.
There it is.
- I need more.
- No.
I need more. You're a vision.
- I'm embarrassed.
- Why? You're incredible.
Come on.
Yeah, whip the hair.
Whip the hair again. Yeah!
Since I got you,
don't need painkillers ♪
Mm. Mm. Mm.
You, come here.
No fever ♪
- Did you used to grind?
- Oh, yeah.
- Like, when everyone used to just, like?
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I used to stand against
the back of the wall in high school,
- actually, and I'd watch the other kids.
- I used to do that, too. Okay.
♪
(ROBYN LAUGHS)
♪
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHING, MUMBLING)
Ow, if I be sick,
nah she be medicine ♪
If I be high, nah she be gbana ♪
If I did sing, nah she be ♪
(BOTH PANTING, MOANING)
(LAUGHS)
I'm not used to muscle.
(LAUGHING)
Slow has merit.
Want to go up a level?
- I don't know what means, but yes, yeah, yeah.
- Oh. Okay.
Oh! Oh, my God.
(GASPING)
(PANTING)
- I had an underbite.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't like to expose
my underbite. Look.
- I'll do it for you because we're comfortable.
- Okay.
- Mm.
- (GASPING)
Oh, my God. Oh, fuck me.
- Oh! (LAUGHING)
- Fuck!
Do girls like this at all?
(VOICE SHAKING): Uh, no,
it's just more disruptive
to like how I'm speaking.
ROY: I am so sorry.
The show must go on, you know?
- I am so sorry.
- No, honestly, it's hot.
- What race are you?
- What?
Are you I don't want to ask,
but I feel like you're Latina?
I'm half Chinese.
- Chinese?
- I think it's Latinx.
Yeah.
Amen, sister.
Did you say "Amen, sister"?
Yeah, I-I wanted to say like halleluiah
or like what's a Chinese
like I don't want to bow.
Do you remember, um,
at Mooney's senior year
when you said I was your dream girl?
I don't remember that, but
it makes sense.
(LAUGHING)
♪
- No.
- I'm like No?
What are you doing?
Kegeling or keegel I'm
making the head just
No.
- I don't There's no
- I'm dripping sweat on you.
Do you want me to get a condom?
- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
(CHUCKLES)
I got some new friends ♪
But you still want me. ♪
(PANTING)
- Okay.
- Um, sorry.
Sorry, can we hold on one second?
Yeah. Of course. No pressure.
No rush.
Sorry, I'm so sorry, um
Whew. Uh
I'm sorry, I thought I
could do this, but I'm
now realizing that I can't.
Oh.
- Okay, did I do something?
- No.
No, you You were, you were great.
You were great. I just
- Ugh.
- You want to talk about it?
Yeah, I mean
I just thought, I thought
with all of this
history between us and me
just getting out of something
that this would be kind
of like a perfect
rebound situation.
I mean, I get it, I just
I got out of something, too.
- Yeah.
- So it's
I-I'm just not a-a casual sex girl,
I-I've never even had
sex on a first date.
- So
- (CHUCKLING)
You're kidding, right? I've
known you over a decade.
It's not really the same thing, this
No, I don't do anything like this, I
I really
This, it's just, it's feeling like
I'm-I'm doing something
that I shouldn't be doing.
- Okay.
- Which I'm not
- like trying to be mean, I'm just
- That's cool. No, I'm gonna
I re I
(FAUCET RUNNING)
I wish that I could explain it better.
Did I like gaslight you or something?
Are you gaslit?
- No, I
- ROY: You don't owe me anything, but
you kind of set up an expectation,
you sent me a nude.
ALLY: Yeah, no, I
I thought
that you kind of saw me differently.
- (SPITS)
- (FAUCET RUNS)
Look, in case I wasn't totally clear,
I don't want a relationship.
No, I am not asking for one.
I feel like you're kind
of fucking with my head.
And I'm confused because I
just was telling you that
- No, no.
- I don't have the emotional bandwidth
- or the availability.
- No, no.
You don't need to reject my rejection.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, at least that's clear.
Yeah, that is crystal clear.
What are you thinking about?
- Right now?
- Yeah.
Uh, well
I'm thinking about how I
have a cut on my cuticle here.
And I'm thinking, can you get HIV
from like having that
cut on a finger and
the finger's fingering?
I was just, like, evaluating the odds.
On whether or not I have AIDS?
How do you even sleep
at night with all of those
crazy thoughts?
I sleep really well, actually.
- Really?
- Eight hours a night.
- Surprising.
- Really?
You have the personality
of a real insomniac.
No, I created a total thought process
that just works like a charm.
What is it?
- Okay, I'll tell you. Yeah, buckle up.
- What?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- So I imagine that it's the Holocaust.
- Okay.
Yeah. And that I am in Nazi Germany
and I have been on the
run for like 18 days.
Couldn't be colder.
It's winter, by the way.
There's snow all over the ground.
It's the most stressful
thing in the world.
And I've finally arrived
at a family friend's house.
They bring me up to the attic, right?
And we go up to that
attic and it's so warm.
- Mm.
- There's like wood floors,
there's a fireplace always to
the left, crackling fireplace,
and then out the window, you
can see like the amber light
and the snow just like falling slowly.
And I don't even have a mattress,
I can hear the hum of
the militia and the tanks
and the Nazis like
barking at one another,
but at that moment it
doesn't even matter.
Because I'm so warm, I'm so cozy,
and I'm so tired,
and then I just wake
up eight hours later.
Wow. That's
You get it, right?
Yeah.
Today was like the most
fun day I've ever had.
Yeah.
I wish you weren't leaving.
Well, the second I do,
you know that every single guy in
Wisconsin is gonna descend upon you
and you're gonna have your
total pick of the litter.
And you're gonna make some
guy's dreams come true.
Yeah.
Oh, what time is it?
It's late.
Feels late.
Feels late and early at once.
Um, I don't want to be rude,
but I-I have to get up so early tomorrow
and I didn't know what
time it was until just now.
You're asking me to leave.
I re it's a big gig and I
don't want to fuck it up and
I really have to call it a night.
- It's a big thing.
- I get it. You're a Career.
Maybe it's just better I-I don't
- You're a career woman.
- I didn't know how late it was.
You need to sleep. I understand.
No one empathizes with that situation
more than me, I get it. (EXHALES)
Yeah.
I have your number.
(CHUCKLES WEAKLY)
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.
You said that?
I don't even know if that's the
comment that turned the tide,
and if it was, I was just
being complimentary, like
Yeah, but you don't need to
like tell the truth all the time.
You could, you know, just
She was great, I thought.
Okay, well, then don't give up on her.
Like call her from the road or whatever.
Honestly, if you're
gonna get that thrown
by one small comment,
then there's some deeper
insecurity, like underneath.
And I'm happy I saw it
sooner than later, so
Dave, you have to forgive
people for not being perfect.
Enough about me. What happened with Roy?
(SIGHS) I'm realizing that
I can't just hook up.
Like, it doesn't have
to mean everything,
but it can't mean nothing,
if that makes sense.
Makes perfect sense. I get it.
But, you know, I'm just
trying to fill the void, I guess.
That is me every single night.
Especially on tour.
But there's still time.
Yeah.
You know, I've never told you this,
but the best thing that you've ever done
is not get back together
with me when I tried to.
Why? Because you're
America's most eligible bachelor now?
No, because I would've
fucked it up between us
and you don't deserve that at all.
We're in such a good place and
I'm so happy to have you in my life
and anyone who doesn't want
you in their lives is a fucking loser.
You deserve everything.
LD, what's good, bro?
I got more flavors than
Baskin-Robbins, bro.
- Got them lined up for you.
- Oh.
Classic Gata.
I'm okay, man. This
guy's out of his mind.
GATA: You sure? I've been
listening to you, bro.
I got all the types you said, bro.
I got the neighborhood
girl, around-the-way look,
all that shit you was talking about?
Let me just see if he
has an understanding
of the type of woman
I'm even interested in.
- Yeah.
- Like I made him watch Wedding Crashers,
it's just good for the
rest of the tour that he
One second. Be right back.
♪
DAVE: Hi.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
I'm Dave, nice to meet you.
- ♪
♪
- (CHATTER CONTINUES)
♪
♪
♪
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