Dawn of the Croods (2015) s03e04 Episode Script

1 Bom-bom, bom-Ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-Ba-dum Ba-da-dum Oh, no.
It's the day I always feared.
Kids, the birds finally realized they should be in charge since they can fly! Uh, quick, peck the biggest one so they don't think you're soft! Relax, Dad.
We're quicktogramming.
- Do I have to? - I explained the last new thing to him.
Quick-to-gram-Ming is the new quick way to send pictograms.
I kinda invented it.
And Old Man Root negotiated the deal with the local flock to work for seeds.
And now, everyone's using it.
Huh? Huh.
Well, I will stick to shouting, thank you, and Wait! You two are supposed to be dusting the cave.
Already on it! You the ones that quicktogrammed about a fresh coat of dust? 'Cause I got plenty to get rid of.
Shake me! Quality dustmanship.
But you were supposed to do this yourselves.
Then we wouldn't have had time to do our homework.
Huh.
Okay.
Long as your homework is also tough and character building.
You guys need help with your nit farming project? I got nits to spare.
Got some stomach parasites too, if you want extra credit.
- Yeah! - No.
In this family, we avoid baths and attract our own nits.
You, out! Don't you guys see? Quicktogramming makes everything so easy.
- Yeah! - Which is bad.
You'll forget how to do things for yourselves, and then Bear owl! What do we do? I know! We'll quickto I am not letting you get soft.
You know, my dad taught me self-reliance by making me survive alone in the forest.
That just sounds like bad parenting.
No, it sounds like exactly what you kids need.
- We are going! - Grug, are you sure that's safe? What kind of parent would I be if I got them hurt trying to make my point? - I'm only gonna almost get them hurt.
- Oh, so good parenting.
Have fun! Easy, boy.
You'll wake up Sandy.
Mom, can you take Not Food out to play with his friends? I could, but I don't want to.
Make me.
Well, she made me.
- Oh, is that your monkhuaha? - Yes.
You single? Later.
I got plans for you first.
My dad had a saying.
"Do it yourself or die trying.
" And he always did do it himself.
Well, except that one time.
You guys aren't even listening.
Yeah, yeah, we are.
You said a bunch of words.
- Possibly sentences.
- Unbeli Ow! Something's biting me.
Thunk, quicktogram Dad and ask what it is.
Uh-oh, kids, bitey bugs.
Hmm.
Guess we'll have to be self-reliant and repel them ourselves.
Or - Thanks, Womp.
- Free bugs? No, thank you! The only way across is building a bridge with our own six hands.
Or No, I don't need - Why are you even doing this? - Oh, this is Handsy's new business.
Quicktogram her from anywhere and she'll give you a lift.
How's your day? What brings you out here? Opinion on current event? The only down side is you gotta make small talk.
Beautiful weather we're having.
Hello? Eep and Thunk? What is so amazing on those slates that you can't pay attention to Poop with a smiley face.
Hey, I was thinking, maybe I should try quicktogramming.
- Good call, Dad.
- About time.
Mm-hmm.
So, take out all your seeds, you know, so you can show me how.
No! Yes! Our seeds! Oh, I feel naked without 'em! What's gonna happen to us if we can't quicktogram for help? Oh, I know, I know.
I'll quicktogram someone to ask.
Wait.
Sometimes, you are a good parent.
Sometimes, you're the best parent.
You're so cute.
Amber want eat you up.
But then, no more cute.
Amber in real bind.
And he's just gettin' started.
You want to see your friends? Ain't he somethin'? But all this dancin' makes his tum-tum very hungry.
That for him tum-tum, not you tum-tum! Oh, well, if it isn't my two fav Come on, please.
We don't have any quicktogram seeds.
But, look, we'll give you sticks, okay? Yeah, everyone loves sticks.
Mm! Stab-ily delicious.
Do not worry, kids.
We will spend the night in here and head home in the morning.
Ooh! Where'd you find a seed? And who'd you quicktogram to make it for you? I made it, okay? Using some rocks, sticks, and my self-reliance.
Huh, crazy as it sounds, self-reliance might actually be a good thing.
Sure is, my good Thunk.
Now, why don't we all go scrounge up our own dinners? Yeah! Send my kids off alone, hungry, into a dark, stormy night.
My dad would be proud.
Ooh.
Hey, pigrat, without quicktogramming, looks like you are out of a job.
Phew! Eep? Thunk? Anyone? Huh? Ouch! Not Food, you gotta help me.
Please! I'll do anything.
Uh? Well, not anything, assumin' that's what you just said.
Okay, sure.
Anything.
- Huh? - Oh.
If cute animal forgive awful woman, Amber guess Amber can too.
Well, it's all over and I learned nothin'.
Ha! Time to go home.
Oh, right.
I did say "anything.
" Boy, am I glad you guys are here.
You're right, Blue.
I can still get out of here.
Shut it, Spike.
No one wants to hear that kind of negativity.
This guy, am I right? I just need to get my strength back.
If only I had some food.
Hey, Spike, Tasty, a word, please.
Hmm? What? I did what I had to, to get back to my family.
My family.
Things sure changed after we lost Dad.
Like, I started wasting my time, hanging out with Old Man Root.
Without a strong male role model, Thunk got his head stuck in a hole and never came out.
And the less said about Sandy, the better.
No! I must get out of here.
You're not slowly eating me today! What's that? Quicktogram for help? But I don't have any seeds.
No, Blue, I can't.
You're my best friend.
Oh Give my best to Tasty and Spike.
- Dad! - You got my quicktogram for help! That's what the slate said? We thought it said, "Moler bear dad love bird butts.
" You try quicktogramming one-handed.
Wait.
Before you move it, I'm sorry.
Being self-reliant is important, but sometimes it's okay to be other-reliant.
Now, bring it in for a hug.
Uh Don't you want us to get this boulder off you first? I'll be honest.
I lost feeling in this arm a long time ago.
Aw So, I ran the numbers and good news.
We are now surviving two out of every four bear owl attacks.
A new high.
So, congrats at Those are numbers you can be proud of, Ahhh! Valley.
Okay, who farted during my grand pronouncement? Ah, come on, Grug.
Whoever smell fart, propel fart.
Ah! But, Amber, whoever speaks first, smells worst.
But, brother, whoever made the quip, let it rip.
Oh - It's getting worse.
- I can taste it.
This is no mere fart.
Father, as you know, I am something of an expert on the pooting arts.
This stink is cold.
Uncaring.
And really burns your nose hairs.
This is the Nasty gas gusher? Someone unplugged it.
But who? And why? The Broods.
Because they're jerks.
Oh, it like Broods take giant toot in valley face.
Oh, the Broods will pay for this.
Mark my words.
Or my name isn't How? I plugged it back up! Oops! Yeah, that one was me.
Old Man Root, I need your help! Uh Oh, sorry.
Didn't mean to interrupt your, uh Uh, I'm gonna say weirdo song for the wind? No, just hacking up a hairball.
That's what I get for licking myself clean like a crabby tabby.
Gross.
But I need that kinda gross to get back at the Broods.
So, is there anything, like, nature-y I could use? Well, you bet there is.
Nature's full of the magical, the dangerous, the weird.
Ooh.
That's not my fur.
Let's see.
You got your stinging nettles, howler hornets, man-eating flowers, my super long toenail.
Get that thing away from me.
Ooh.
What's in here? Uh-buh-buh-buh-buh! - The super bug eggs are off-limits.
- Super bugs? What are they? Some sort of super bugs? They're bite-y bugs, so powerfully itchy, they'll make a grown man beg for his mama.
Don't ask me how I know.
- Oh, sounds perfect.
- No! No, I say! It's too dangerous.
You'll put the whole valley at risk.
When super bugs hatch, they breed like crazy.
Day one, they jump from person to person.
Day two, the whole valley's got 'em.
Day five, everyone goes mad from itchin'.
Day seven, there's an avalanche for some reason.
But, by day 17 Well, you'll beat the Broods, but at what cost? Yeah.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, that gibberish makes total sense.
I cannot wait to see the looks on the Broods' faces.
They'll be like, "Ooh!" And, "Argh!" And La, la, la, la, la Wait.
Not that one.
Uh-oh! No, no, no, no! Munk, get out of here! No, you get out of here, you big kook.
This guy.
Am I crazy? Am I crazy? Move! Why? It itches! It itches! It itches! What's going on? We heard yelling.
What? That's crazy.
Now, go inside the cave and don't come out.
Uh Because reasons.
That's why.
Munk, I can fix this.
No need to panic.
And if you must panic, can you do it a little quieter? Let's try that old saying, "You catch more bugs with soogar.
" Oh.
Or, wait, is it "hatch more bugs"? This will work for sure.
Well, maybe this.
Or this.
This! This? Huh? Hey, uh, now, it seems like you're just throwing stuff at me to see what sticks.
What? No.
It's okay, buddy.
We tried.
- Hug? - Whoa-ho! No touching.
In fact, the only good news is, you haven't made contact with anybody else today.
Munk Munk, what did you do? You just had to go see the hunters while I was using the bushes.
Well, of course.
I had to warn them about the super bugs.
Oh, okay, yep.
Now, I see where I went wrong there, yeah.
Not to worry, folks.
I've figured out how to contain the problem.
Deep Trouble! You can all hang out down there until I find a cure.
Amber would fight Grug if Amber not so busy fighting death itch! Look, I don't like it any more than you do, but I've gotta keep the bugs from spreading at all costs.
Hey, whatever you say, buddy.
Why are there so many bones down there, huh? You should ignore those.
- Thank you for your help, Squawk.
- My pleasure.
Don't mind me.
Just sharpening my nails on my flesh.
Mm-hmm.
Gotta be a super bug cure in here somewhere.
Hornets? No.
Nettles? No.
Anything not just more bugs? Ooh, hey, what's this? This looks promising.
I think it's working.
It's all over now, you smug super bugs! Don't move, thief, or I'll nail ya.
Whoa, easy.
It's me! Crazy story.
Uh Some bugs of the super variety may or may not have escaped.
- You You released them? - By accident, sorta.
Uh, but everything's fine now since I found a cure to defeat the bugs.
And you're welcome.
Oh, I've been developing an anti-super bug goo, but that's not it.
Then what did I just pour all over Super bug hatching liquid.
Eh, really not sure why I kept that around.
Oh, fine, I'm a hoarder.
- Mama! - Uh you keep working on that cure, okay, buddy? Ooh, guys, things seem better up here, hmm? Or worse.
Looking like worse.
Poison ivy sweet relief compared to agony of super bugs.
super bugs.
Should you be worried? Yes! Oh, no! Now they're everywhere! And it's all someone's fault.
Stay inside because "reasons.
" We're kids.
We don't listen to reason.
Yeah, like we're gonna pass up the chance to scream like lunatics.
Uh, why-why is everyone screaming? No! Get out of here! You couldn't save me, too? It itches! Oh, stupid Grug.
I never should've released the super bugs! the super bugs! This Grug fault? Grug dead man! Wait, wait! Ah, that's good.
Wait again! I'll fix this.
Old Man Root, buddy.
Gee, what a mess we've gotten ourselves into, huh? You're right.
It's my mess.
I should've listened to you.
But now, we really need that cure.
But it's not ready.
Look what it did to this pigrat.
Oh, well, he doesn't look that bad.
This wasn't the first test, Grug.
Okay, so it may be deadly, or it may be the cure.
What we need is to test it, and there's only one man for the job.
- Mm-mm-mm.
- Is there a second man for the job? This goo will either cure you, or, uh, well there's this pile of pigrats back there.
It's kinda hard to explain.
You really need to see 'em with your eyes.
Anything to help the valley.
And, hey, if it turns me into a pigrat like those guys, I can live with that.
Either way, buddy, I forgive you for releasing the super bugs.
I know you never imagined all of this would happen.
Well, here goes.
Wait! Come on! I want to find a cure, but not if it means melting my friend's head.
I got us into this itchy mess, so I will test the cure myself.
You gotta rub it in.
Okay.
Wow! The itching stopped! You're a genius, Root! My eyes! My eyes! Yeah, still working on a "no tears" formula.
Gotta hand it to you.
This stuff is amazing.
So, what do you call it? "Shampoo.
" 'Cause it's made from shamrocks and People got cured.
That's all I need to know.
Uh, this is why Dad wanted us to stay away? - There you go.
Washy-washy.
- It's tingling.
That's how you know it's working.
He was right.
Let's never doubt him again.