Faking It (2014) s03e04 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Faking It" - You two are friends now? - Mm-hmm.
Dylan is cheating on her.
Some has to tell Karma.
We're done.
Everyone's talking about your video.
At least I didn't abandon my best friend.
You forced me to kiss you over and over again, and then you rejected me! I don't want to keep hurting you, Amy, but I don't know how to be your friend without hurting you.
[pleasant music.]
Oh, no.
Amy! What are you doing? Mom, it's fine.
I learned a lot about refinishing furniture with all the lesbians this Summer.
Enough with the DIY.
Honey, I get it.
You're tryin' to distract yourself from missing Karma.
This is about creating better workflow.
Well, flow your work somewhere else.
No more home projects.
End of story.
We have over 10,000 followers across all social media platforms.
People are so inspired by you.
Except I can't be an inspirational figure if I only inspire people to rage.
Who'd you piss off now? New Lisbeth tweeted that Elisabeth Hasselbeck is my spirit animal.
True as that may be, it's also offensive to the Native American peoples, apparently.
She really [bleep.]
it this time.
Lauren, she's standing right there.
No, I'm talking about old New Lisbeth.
This is new New Lisbeth.
Okay.
Brainstorm time, girls.
I need new ideas to expand my public reach.
- Let's make a documentary.
- You have my attention.
We can follow you with cameras, and capture your inspiring journey.
People love seeing inside the lives of public figures.
When do we start? Karma, we have something we think is going to cheer you up.
Look what we found unpacking the last of the boxes from storage.
- Ah? - It's a sign.
Destiny is sure to bring you and Amy back together.
Sorry, but I don't believe in signs anymore.
And even if I did, look at this.
It's a half-broken heart with jagged edges.
If anything, we were destined to be torn apart.
Sensing a lot of sublimated emotions right now.
We could talk through those.
Oh, I can get the therapy puppets.
No.
Please, no puppets.
Because there is no hope, and I've accepted that.
Honey, you've been holed up in here all week.
I've just been laser-focused on my music, but I'm-I'm heading out to go meet Shane for coffee, so no reason for concern.
All right.
Thank you.
Bye.
[sighs.]
So nothing they can do Can push me down No, I'm wise enough What does "in perpetuity" mean? It means if you don't sign, you get cut out.
That simple enough? I got two cameras from the AV club that will work great with the hand-held setups, and I'm gonna get a B-camera operator to get coverage for better editing.
Wow, Amy, you actually sound like you know what you're talking about.
This could be big.
Like, we could make money off of this.
Well, documentaries don't really make money, but we can help people.
Right.
That.
Leila.
Lisbeth.
I think hair and make-up tests are in order.
Excuse us.
Look who just stopped by with his charming smile.
- Felix.
- Hey.
Holy crap.
Hi.
So good to see you again after this summer.
Did you have a good one? Well, I spent it in rehab, so there's that.
Oh, that sounds so relaxing.
Maybe I need rehab.
[laughing.]
Anyway, I'll leave you two alone.
I'm sure you want to catch up.
Even after a rehab reveal, your mom still roots for me.
- How was it? - Oh.
I'd say it was a sobering experience.
[laughing.]
Hey, um, do you have any plans tonight? Oh, so, listen.
About that.
I'm actually not supposed to date anyone six months from my sober date, to be exact.
You know, it's part of these recovery rules.
Not that I wouldn't, though, because you're givin' me a weird face.
What? Actually, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to be my cameraman for this documentary that I've got with Lauren.
Oh, and you couldn't have stopped me.
Oh, but you were on such a roll.
Well, let me just pull my foot out of my mouth and say, "Sure, I'd love to hold a camera for you.
" What's Karma doing? Wardrobe I bet.
Karma and I aren't really friends anymore.
It was a thing, but it's so not a big deal.
That's like saying, "The Titanic hit so not a big iceberg.
" What happened? What's past is past.
There's no need to dwell.
Especially with all this film prep that we have, so, let's get cracking.
Lips like fire They fill my dreams I'm your James Dean One soy hazelnut double-shot latte, iced.
So, what, did they hire you and the live music? No, it's an open mic thing.
So, I take it that means you can't get me his digits? Uh, did you go on a break? 'Cause this looks like a break, and it sounds like a break, but you didn't ask me for a break.
Rachel, can I take a break? No.
I need you.
Um, behind the bar, because your foam art skills are clutch, and people lose their [bleep.]
Without the hearts and leaves on their lattes.
Speaking of getting digits, boss lady's, like, super into you.
What? No.
One, she's not my boss.
She's my supervisor.
And two, I do not think that was flirting.
And three, you're still hung up on a certain redheaded former paramour.
- Karma.
- Obviously.
- Who else? - Hey! Nice apron.
Nice you.
Oh, look at that.
Okay, duty calls.
Look who crawled out of her cave.
Is your skin burning from overdue sun exposure? How are your eyes adjusting? What is with everyone? I'm fine.
Really, I'm fine.
How many sad songs have you written this week? I lost count.
But it's a good thing.
I mean, I release my emotional demons through song.
[applause.]
And what about exorcising those demons in front of a live audience.
- What? Here? - Come on.
I'll go up there with you.
We'll be the Brew & Chew version of She & Him.
You're not gonna let this go until I say, "yes," right? It's like we've been friends forever.
[uplifting synth music.]
Hi.
I'm Lauren.
I'm a 16 year-old girl living in Austin, Texas, and I'm just like you.
Eww.
No.
Uh, that was wrong.
Let's take that again.
Forget that last one, okay? - Okay.
- Just relax.
I'm gonna keep the camera rolling so that it gets everything It doesn't have to be perfect.
Just be real.
Yeah, but I want it to be really perfect.
- [knocking on door.]
- Hello, Lauren.
I was wondering if you have a moment to discuss with me a problem I am having.
I always have time for a friend in need.
I have a date tonight, but I am worried my lips do not stand out.
Ugh, that is a problem.
You know, you can get the same shine my lips have by using Sweep'n 'Shine glossy lipstick.
What the [bleep.]
? Cut! What is this? What is happening? I'm just trying to show potential sponsors how seamlessly I can integrate products into my reality show.
Reality show.
Lauren, this is a documentary.
I told you, it's not about the money.
For you maybe, but I parlay my inspirational fame into an aspirational lifestyle brand.
I'm calling it "Life By Lauren.
" This project should be about something.
It is about something, me.
And as the star, I say what it should be.
Come on, Leila.
This is crazy, right? She's only got followers because she came out as intersex.
People want to know what that's like.
Not what she puts on her lips.
Well, you know, kids these days do seem to like their Kardashian shows.
It's like she's afraid to open up and let people in.
Well, you know, sometimes people are too stubborn to let others know what they're going through.
Well, maybe they need to talk if they ever hope to deal with it.
Sometimes you need that special someone.
Someone who understands.
Someone who won't judge.
You're right, that is exactly what Lauren needs.
Both: When the Sun Sets on summer When it all Gets torn apart You leave Me with nothing But my jagged Little heart Wow, so, so many great performances today, but only two can advance to Austin's "Master of the Mic" contest.
- Contest? - Where the winner gets $5,000.
So, the two bands joining the battle right here tomorrow night are "Noah's Ark" and.
.
"Zee and Zim?" - Whoa! Oh, my - [squealing.]
We're not married to the name.
I had no idea this was a qualifier.
Shane.
I have so many song ideas.
I I have to get them down.
Go.
Write.
You're welcome.
Wow.
Karma.
You've gotten even better.
You got to save some talent for the rest of us.
Thank you.
That means a lot.
Hey, um, you should come tomorrow night.
It'd be nice to have a friendly face in the crowd.
- Cool.
- Cool.
- It sounded really good, man.
- Song's amazing.
Hey, you were really good up there.
I couldn't take my eyes off you.
Oh, well, same.
- Shane.
- Noah.
Oh, you must be "Noah's Ark," right? So, I guess we'll be seeing each other again tomorrow.
I look forward to looking at you again, and good luck.
Thanks.
And this is the part where you say "good luck" back.
It's gonna take a lot more than luck for you to win.
Why is that? You think you're better than me? No.
Because I think you're better than her.
You should be the one in the front.
At least, if you really want us to swoon for you.
[dramatic music.]
- Hey.
- Oh! I'm so happy you're here early.
Um, I wanted your opinions on some new ideas.
Uh-huh, opinions.
I'm full of them.
But first, we should have a higher level convo.
"Higher level?" What does that mean? So it has come to my attention that this contest is on a much bigger stage, which means to win, we'll need a much bigger sound.
But never fear.
I've already done all the work.
Um, this is a cover.
With a full band.
I'm basically the back-up singer in this.
Well, yeah, you're a little bit country, and I'm a little bit more "Glam Rock God.
" Trust.
This is the best way.
Let's see what we can do to jooj up your look.
- Yeah.
- [sighs.]
What the [bleep.]
? That bitch can't talk that [bleep.]
on me.
Dial back the language.
We're going for Bravo, not TLC.
I can't believe Leila said that.
You should confront her.
Holding in those feelings can be toxic.
[doorbell ringing.]
Ugh, Leila's early.
Lisbeth, go see who it is! Okay.
Okay.
Why does she keep doing that? So this is the big fight scene.
After some heated exchange, I'll step in as peacemaker, teaching my followers a valuable lesson in diplomacy.
Lauren.
Hi, I'm Raven.
It's so nice to finally meet you.
We watch the video of your Hester speech at the office at least once a day.
Amy? I reached out to Raven at Interact last night.
You know, so you can connect with your intersex community while the cameras are rolling.
Is that a problem? Why would that be a problem? Where are my manners? Raven.
Won't you please join me for a chat? Absolutely.
Yeah.
Hey.
You okay? Come on, don't be nervous.
Why would I be? I mean, I'm barely even in the band anymore.
Shane thinks we need a different sound to win.
[sighs.]
He's probably right.
Shane's probably just trying to impress that guy.
Of course.
Vintage Shane.
Why should I expect anything less? Forget Shane.
Do not let him stand on your shoulders to stand out.
'Cause the Karma I know deserves to be in that spotlight.
You're sweet to say that.
I'm sorry.
Actually, you know what? I don't want to apologize for that.
I still feel like there's something there between us, and can you honestly say that you don't feel that? Now, please welcome to the stage, "Zee and Zim.
" Okay, go.
Have your moment.
And then after, if you think it's our moment, then meet me back here and we'll figure it out.
Together.
[sighs.]
And, when I found the online community, I was so relieved just to be able to connect with other people like me, you know? - Mm-hmm.
- But tell me about you.
I want to hear all about your story.
Oh.
Oh, um, nothing to tell.
Really, I'm just Lauren Cooper.
Normal girl.
Oh, but, the whole concept of normal is so subjective, you know? What does it really even mean? You know, normal.
Some people are normal.
Some people Hey, have you ever tried this Color-Mass Mint Julep eye shadow? Wait, I'm I'm sorry, I thought you said Lauren wants to be an intersex spokesperson.
No, in fact, I never said that.
No, I don't want to be that.
I shouldn't have to [bleep.]
be that! Cut.
Cut.
We should go up there right now.
Get the rawness of her emotion.
Uh, maybe you need to be doing this to avoid dealing with your Karma stuff, but look, I I don't.
You need to work this out with Lauren yourself.
Off camera.
Leave me alone or I will take that camera, shove it down your throat, and document your insides.
Jesus.
No camera, okay? See? And, hey, in my defense, this is exactly what you signed up for.
What? Some intersex PSA? Because I wanted this to be "Life By Lauren.
" - Not "Lauren's Life By Amy.
" - Why? So you can help people pick a frickin' lipstick? Why don't you want to be a leader for your community? But why do I have to be a leader for anybody? What about you? Why don't you be a leader for your people? Oh, that's right.
Because you're still on your journey and refuse a label.
How convenient.
Well, I didn't get to pick my label.
I am stuck with it and I'm doing the best I can, okay? Lauren.
Lauren.
Okay.
It is possible that I may have gotten a little too carried away.
But only because I thought we were doing something that could change the world.
And you're, like, the only person I know who could do that if you actually wanted to.
I mean, you're scary good at getting what you want.
Lauren? All right.
I'll leave you alone.
And whenever you're ready, if if you still want to, we'll make the show you want to make.
[Queen's "Somebody to Love".]
Each morning I get up, I die a little Can barely stand on my feet Take a look in the mirror and cry Lord, what you doing to me? I've spent all my years in believing you But I just can't get no relief Lord! Somebody - Somebody - Ooh, somebody - Somebody - Somebody Somebody - Somebody - Somebody Both: Can anybody find me Somebody to love? [electronic fizzling.]
[all booing.]
Well, you wanted a blowout.
Looks like your Freddy Mercury's in retrograde.
Did-did you set me up? I thought I'd psych you out a little.
I didn't think you'd go full-on Chernobyl.
Sorry.
See, Dad? No party.
Oh, um, be home soon.
- Principal dad keepin' tabs? - Yeah.
In addition to the whole "six months no dating" rule, I also have to do a visual check-in every hour.
It's even more annoying than it sounds.
So, uh, how's Lauren? Did you Realize that you were totally right? Yup.
I still wish she would open up with someone about what she's going through.
She's so closed off.
Well, you know, sometimes people are too stubborn to let anyone in.
Yeah.
[scoffs.]
Okay.
How do you not realize I'm talking about what happened with you and Karma? That's different.
- How? - Because.
If I talk about it, then it's real.
Like, really real.
And I can't deal with it being that real right now, so Hey, we don't have to talk about it.
Talk about what? So, that, uh, that new pope.
He seems pretty cool, right? [laughs.]
Remind me.
When is that "six month no dating" thing over? Midnight, New Year's Eve.
Oh.
[phone buzzing.]
What possible excuse do you have for majorly ruining this? Oh, get off your high horse.
I know you just shoved me aside to impress some boy.
Oh, please, like you've never done anything to impress a boy before.
Shane! This was the only thing making me feel better, and now I feel so much worse.
Friends don't do this.
Real friends look out for you.
They go out of their way for you.
Real friends are there for you when you need them no matter what.
Karma, I'm sorry.
What! [sighs.]
Okay.
So yeah.
Maybe I am afraid to open up.
Maybe I'm scared to face reality.
Because ever since I found out I was born different, I've done everything I could to be a normal girl.
But somebody asked me today what normal even means, and I didn't have a good answer.
Maybe I need to find one.
- Hey.
Have you seen Karma? - She bolted a while back.
Rachel? Hi.
Uh, what are you still doing here? Oh, you know, I'm just, um, making sure that you're not stealing from inventory.
I mean, those stir sticks disappear a little too quick.
You know what I mean? That's the only reason? Okay, busted.
You got me red-handed with my pants down.
Oh my God.
Um, okay.
I'm just gonna go for this.
I was hoping that you would be here so that I could ask you out.
Uh, "totes inappropes" though, right? But now it's out there, so you want to grab coffee sometime? I'd like that.
As long as it's not the Brew & Chew.
Oh, God no.
Please.
Help.
- They told me to come here.
- What's wrong? Um, my father, Lucas Ashcroft, he had a heart attack.
[whispers.]
Please They're still working on him.
Wor-Working on him? Wha-What does that mean? Is is he is he okay? Let me find a doctor to talk to you.
[sighs.]
[uplifting music.]