Family Ties (1982) s03e04 Episode Script

## I'll bet We've been together ## ## For a million years ## ## And I'll bet We'll be together ## ## For a million more ## ## Ooh, it's like I started breathin' ## ## On the night we kissed ## ## And I can't remember What I ever did before ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## And there ain't No nothin' ## ## We can't love Each other through ## ## Ooh-hoo ## ## What would we do, baby ## ## Without us? ## ## Sha-la-la-la ## What do you got there, Dad? Well, I've got a teddy bear, two rattles, a cuddle bunny, and a little ducky.
Well, you can play for five minutes, and then you got to go night-night.
Alex, we're just trying to get an inventory of the baby toys we have so, uh, we'll know what we need to buy.
Wow, what's that, Dad? This is the mobile that used to hang over your crib.
I remember we experimented with a lot of different things until we found the one symbol that would calm you down.
Aw, t-turn it on, Dad.
Turn it on.
Okay.
MAN Continental Telegraph up three points.
It's up to 25 cents.
Cintram Corporation, down 14.
Still works.
Oh, and when you've finished your nap, uh, take a look through that catalog there.
We're trying to pick out a new crib.
Oh, come on, Dad.
What do I know about cribs? A crib is a crib.
What's the matter with this one here, The Inky-Binky-Beddy-Bye? I don't know.
That one, uh, scares me a little.
The Inky-Bink looks like a bear to put together.
Whoa, Whoa.
More food for Mom? I know.
It's getting ridiculous.
This is the fourth meal Mom's eaten in two hours.
Try to be a little more understanding, Mal.
She's an energetic person.
Now that the doctor wants her to stay off her feet, she's channeling all her energies, uh, into eating.
Is Scott here yet? No, Jen.
We told you we'd call you when he gets here.
Uh, coming! That's Mom again.
She's getting a little demanding now.
You better hurry up and take that to her.
You don't want to miss Scott when he gets here.
What's the big deal? He was your goofy friend, not mine.
He wasn't goofy, Mallory.
He just had glasses and braces and big ears.
Well, then, I'll hurry back down.
What's all this? This is equipment from all the different sports Scott and I used to play together.
I thought I'd let him pick which one he wants to start with.
Scott is in town for a college interview, Jennifer.
I don't think he'll have time for the decathlon.
I know he'll want to play, Dad.
Before he moved away the two of us were the first two kids outside every morning and the last two kids in every night.
Yeah, but that was five years ago, Jen.
Scott is 17 years old now, you know.
People slow down as they get older.
Their bones start to deteriorate with each passing year.
Look at Dad.
Thanks, coach.
He's here.
Scott, it's good to see you! Jennifer! How are you? Great.
Look at you.
Well, hello, Scott.
Welcome back.
Thanks, Mr.
Keaton.
Hey, Scotty.
Hey, Alex.
How's it going? Ah, king of the hill.
Top of the heap, numerouno.
You haven't changed a bit, Alex.
What'll it be, Scott? Baseball, soccer, tennis.
Greco-Roman wrestling? What do you mean? I thought we'd play some sports just like we did when we were kids.
Oh, sure.
Sounds like fun.
You two have a good time.
Okay.
Hi, Scott? Hi, Mallory.
Boy, have you changed.
Well, you changed too.
I mean, you grew into your ears, and You look good too.
Scott, what are you waiting for? Uh, Let's hold off on the soccer for a while, okay, Jennifer? Good idea.
Uh, do you want to go down to your old house? Or maybe we could just sit on the lawn and talk about old times.
Uh, yeah, sure.
Go ahead and start without me and I'll be right there.
Okay.
## Ya, ya-da-da, da-da, da-da ## ## Ya, da-da-da-da-da ## ## Hey! ## You're gonna love Pasta Alex.
Mwah! Well, I hope it's better than Pancakes Alex, Alex.
Well, your mother says she can smell the Pasta Alex, Alex, from all the way upstairs.
Yeah, well, it travels well, Dad.
Hey, what's all this? Just a few things for Scott to see, pictures of us when we were kids and stuff like that.
He didn't have a chance to look at them yesterday.
Whoa, Whoa.
There she is.
You want me to take this up to Mom, Dad? Oh, no, no, I'll do it.
She denies it, but I think she kind of enjoys, being waited on by her husband.
Yeah, they all do, Dad.
You know, they may say things have changed, but basically, they're happiest when they're barefoot and pregnant.
Oh, coming, Elyse! Sounds serious.
This won't be enough.
Girls, give me a hand.
Uh, Mallory, get the peanut butter.
Uh, Jennifer, the garlic bread and the antipasto.
Oh, and, Mallory, uh, a watermelon.
That ought to hold her for a while.
## Ya, ya-da-da, da-da, da-da ## ## Ya, da-da-da-da-da-da ## ## Hey ## Hey, Alex.
Hey, Scotty.
What, are you cooking? You bet-a your life.
Hey, where's, uh Where's Mallory? I don't know.
I don't know.
She's upstairs or something.
So hey, Scott.
Are you up for your interview tomorrow? Uh, yeah.
I'm pretty excited.
Yeah, listen.
Let me give you a couple of tips, okay? I am, uh Well, hey, I'm kind of a legend at that college, and so I think you should slip my name into the conversation as much as you can.
Oh, uh, why don't you, uh, take this with you? This is a picture of you, Alex.
Yeah.
You know, you can keep that.
Thanks.
Hey, listen, uh, Mallory must be about, what, 17 years old now, huh? I don't know.
I don't know.
She's in her teens.
I know that.
Oh, another thing.
Another thing.
Listen.
You want to be serious, right? But not overly serious.
They like you to be a good student, but, uh, fun-loving, like me.
So, uh, is anybody seeing Mallory on a regular basis? Yeah, yeah.
I am, and I've had about all I can take.
Your mom really loved the Pasta Alex, Alex.
Never seen anyone eat that fast.
It was incredible.
I was afraid to put my hands near her mouth.
Hi, Jennifer, Mallory, Mr.
Keaton.
I was giving Scott a couple of tips for his interview.
Ooh, let me give you the opposite advice I gave Alex before his interview: Just be yourself.
Okay.
Dinner, she's served.
Ah.
Great.
I can't tell you how hungry I am.
I love a man with a healthy appetite.
Okay.
Well, I-I guess she's still hungry.
I'll take her some more the Pasta Alex, Alex.
Hey, what's all this stuff? Just a few pictures of us when we were kids and stuff like that.
Are there any pictures of you in here, Mallory? I don't think so.
Hey, wait a second.
Look.
There's Mallory.
No, no.
That's us when we dressed up for Halloween as Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog.
No, no, no.
In the back.
Look.
That's Mallory's foot.
Well, Scott, I was just thinking.
The Indians are playing a twinight double-header this Saturday.
Do you want to go? Oh, sure.
Anyway, Mallory, we have a lot of catching up to do.
This picture of your foot really sparks the memories.
Yes, I was wondering if you have two tickets left for tonight's Indians game? You have 35,000? Well, I only need two.
Can you hold them for me, please? My name is Jennifer Keaton.
Thank you.
Bye.
Any sign of Scott yet, Alex? Ah, no, Jen.
I haven't seen him.
Tonight's the night we're going to see the Indians play a twinight double-header against the Seattle Mariners.
Whoa.
The clash of the Titans.
You want to come? There are 35,000 extra tickets.
Uh, no.
Just, uh, give them to somebody else.
Scott and I are gonna have a great time, Alex.
He loves baseball, remember? You used to come sometimes when we were kids.
Yeah.
That's right.
That's right.
Remember that time I got that foul ball? You know, I made that great diving catch, you know, leaning over the railing.
You didn't make a diving catch.
That's right.
That's right.
It was a one-bouncer.
It bounced once, I jumped up and I caught it.
No, you didn't.
Ah, rolled down the steps to me.
It rolled down the steps right to me.
Alex, you bought that ball.
I remember the store was really crowded.
I had to leap over this lady Alex, give it up.
Okay.
I'm going to go in the garage and see if I can find some old pennants.
Call me when Scott comes.
Yeah.
Ah.
Whoa.
Wait a minute.
Coming.
Whoa.
Hey, Dad.
Let me give you a hand with this.
Oh, all right.
Thanks.
What have you got in here, a new tie? It's the crib.
Come on, roll up your sleeves, Alex.
We've got some work to do.
We? Yeah, it's been a while since you and I built anything together.
You can assemble some furniture, can't you, Alex? Of course I can.
All right.
All right.
It's just that you'd be surprised how many guys can't put together a simple kit.
Well you're, uh You're looking at a guy who can, Dad.
Let's see what we got here.
Okey-doke.
Uh-huh.
Ah.
Ah.
Yeah.
There we go.
Elyse! Mom! Mom! Honey! Hi.
I'll get it.
Oh, hi, Scott.
Hi, Mallory.
How did your interview go? Oh, pretty well, I think.
I tried to mention Alex's name a few times.
I hope they don't hold it against you.
Hey, have you eaten yet? No.
How about dinner at Guido's? Sure.
All right.
Hey, champ.
What happened to your baseball game? Rained out.
Oh.
It's not raining.
I have a problem, Alex.
Jennifer, you're 11 years old.
You got a roof over your head.
You're fed every day.
You don't pay taxes.
What kind of problem could you possibly have? The baseball game wasn't rained out.
Scott took Mallory out to dinner instead.
Oh.
Well, maybe he forgot.
How could you forget about something like that? Scott and I used to be best friends.
He never used to like Mallory at all.
Now it's the opposite.
What has Mallory got that I don't? Ah, let's put it this way, Jen.
A 17-year-old guy will tend to have different tastes in girls than an 11-year-old guy.
It's only natural.
At this point in his life, Scott is interested in girls who are more soft.
When did this happen to Scott? Why did he have to change? Well, it's nature, Jen.
Through, uh Through none of our her doing, Mallory just happens to have that certain intangible quality that attracts boys.
Boys who are helpless victims to the hormones coursing through their veins.
You know, boys like Scott.
Can we put a stop to this? It's too late, Jen.
It's all over for Scott and his kind.
It's not fair, Alex.
Yeah.
There's nothing you can do about it, Jen.
My advice to you is that you just enjoy being a child for as long as you can.
I know I did.
It was the best two weeks of my life.
You know, Mallory, it's really nice being here with you tonight.
Heh.
Grazie, grazie.
That's terrific.
When did you learn to speak Italian? Grazie, grazie.
Uh, Scott Handley's table, please.
If you will follow me, signora.
Jennifer.
Good evening, Scott.
I thought I'd join you.
Mallory! How nice to see you! Hi, Jen.
Jennifer, why are you dressed this way? I'm a woman of many moods, Scott.
Young and playful one moment, sophisticated and deadly serious the next.
Whoa.
Uh, Jennifer, this is a table for two.
I'm sure you can make room for your sister.
Well, Scott, what do you recommend? The last time I was here I found the pizza with the bologna very much to my liking.
Shall I go for it again? I don't get it.
This a joke or something? I'm deadly serious, Scott.
Pizza with bologna or not? Jen, we already ordered.
Mallory, Scott needs his strength.
He has Mormons coursing through his veins.
What? There will be no talking about baseball tonight, Scott.
You know what I mean? Not really.
You'll find tonight that I can be as soft as the next girl.
Buy you a drink? Uh, all right, Jen.
Uh, come here a minute No! You're making a spectacle of yourself.
Hey, listen.
I think we ought to take you home now.
I don't need you to take me home.
Jennifer Stop Are you okay, little girl? I'm fine.
And I'm not a little girl.
Waiter, my bike.
Jen.
Well, Alex, what do you think? She a beauty? She is a beauty, Dad, although I'd, uh, feel a little better about her if we'd, uh, used all the parts she came with.
How many are left over? Well, uh, she came with 22 nuts, We used six nuts and seven bolts.
That's not good.
Jennifer, where have you been? I- I was upstairs playing dress-up in my room, and I heard Mrs.
Alpeck pulling up next door, so I wanted to say hi to her.
Because I haven't seen her for such a long time.
So I leaned out my window and I called to her, but she didn't hear me.
So I leaned out some more and I fell out my window.
And I'm coming back in now.
Good night.
Jennifer Jennifer, your window is 20 feet off the ground.
You don't believe me, do you? If you'll excuse me, I'd like to go talk to Mom.
Well, I'm sorry, honey.
Your mom's asleep.
I'm sure you can talk to me.
It's not the same.
Dad, if you'll excuse us, I think she needs me right now.
I'll take Dad.
Try and be a good brother, and they spit on you.
Well, uh, what's What's going on? I made a mistake tonight, Dad.
What did you do? I walked in on Mallory and Scott's date at Guido's.
I made such a fool out of myself.
It happens sometimes.
It just happens.
I wanted Scott to like me so much.
I thought if he got a good look at me in this dress, he'd leave Mallory.
He doesn't know what he's missing, Dad.
Come on, come on.
You cry.
That's good.
You cry.
I love you.
What does Scott know? He knows that he doesn't want to be with me.
Well, maybe you're too young to have a romance with someone like Scott.
I don't want a romance.
All I want is for things to go back the way they used to be.
Well, I'm afraid that can't happen, honey.
You and Scott had a very special relationship when you were younger.
Things change.
I'm so confused, Dad.
I don't know the way I'm supposed to act.
Sometimes I feel really grown up, and sometimes I feel like a little baby.
That's one of the great things about being 11.
You get to act any way you want.
You do that at my age, they put you away.
How did this happen to Scott? He grew up and I didn't.
You grew up too, Jen.
You're growing up right now.
Hi, Jen.
Hi, Dad.
Oh, uh, hi.
Hi, Mallory.
Um, can I be alone with Jen, Dad? We have some things to talk about.
Okay.
Ah, no problem.
I was, uh I was just about to go into the kitchen, uh, get me a handful of trail mix.
Mm.
Love that trail mix.
Hi.
I guess I made a big fool out of myself, huh? Ah.
No, you didn't.
Hey, I didn't notice anything.
You must think I'm the biggest jerk in the world.
As long as Alex is around, you aren't even the biggest jerk in this house.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have barged in on your date.
Oh, no, come on.
I'm sorry.
I should've been more sensitive to the way you feel.
You know, I-I knew you were excited about Scott coming and everything.
I should've invited you to come along with us.
I may only be 11, but I know how many people it takes to make a good date.
Mallory? Huh? What does it feel like to go out with boys? Is it as much fun as playing soccer with them? Um Well, it's a different kind of fun.
Just give yourself a little time, Jen.
You're getting there.
I guess so.
You know, lately I've been feeling like we weren't friends anymore.
We don't spend time together like we used to.
Hey, come on.
We'll always be friends.
It's just that we're growing up, and our interests are changing.
You know? Yeah.
I'm not so crazy about it, though.
Do you want to go to the Cleveland Indians game with me tomorrow? Oh, wow.
I'd love to.
What time's kickoff? Maybe we'll just go to the movies.
Okay.
Ah.
Hey, you know something? With any luck, we'll have a little baby sister soon, and we'll start all over again.
It will be fun, Jen.
Hi, baby.
Hi, little sister.
We have a present for you.
Nice going, Dad.