Four More Shots Please (2019) s03e04 Episode Script

1
When there is a spark,
must there always be a fire?
Actually, it depends
on what kind of night it is.
If it's a still one,
spark gets easily snuffed out.
But if it's one with a turbulent wind,
watch out for the burning forest fire.
Hello!
My Wow!
-What the hell!
-Amazing, guys!
Speech!
Thank you, guys!
-Okay, I'm gonna sit for this.
-I'll oblige.
Okay.
It was always my dream
to one day move to Bombay,
and to find my place in the world here.
And finally, after five years,
I found my place today.
A place where I don't have to
fit into any molds,
a place which I can call my own.
Umami, my fitness studio.
-So proud!
-Well done, Umang.
All this would not be possible
without my three beautiful witches.
-Yeah!
-I'll never forget
that we met the first day
that I moved to the city.
You guys are my lifelines.
-I love you.
-Love you, too.
Thank you.
A special thanks to Sids, my baby girl.
This is gonna sound cheesy,
but you are the petrol
that fuels this car.
And I can't thank you enough.
We love you too, Mangs.
I'm getting in on the hug!
Yeah, I'll send it in 15 minutes.
Yeah. Okay, thanks.
-When was the mezzanine floor constructed?
2014 Show me the permission letter.
What the fuck, Jeh?
What's the problem?
Don't you like my house?
Is it too small for you?
You can tell me, you know?
Is it about sex?
-Aren't happy with me?
-Damini.
Do you wanna see other people?
Can we discuss this later?
MAHARASHTRA GOVERNMEN
I'm sorry.
What is it, Jeh?
This round and round merry-go-round
is just getting to my head.
Are you moving in or not? Just tell me.
-You don't wanna move in?
-No.
I just need to sort this out
with the municipal authorities.
And I stay over at your place
three nights a week anyway.
-We are practically living together.
-It's not the same thing, Jeh.
Damini, I'm tired of explaining myself.
Why did you return the key?
I was keeping it safe.
Look, I want to move in.
Okay? I promise.
Okay, darling, you have a great day.
And the tomatoes from the sandwiches
mustn't come back, okay?
-Love you.
-Dada's hug.
Bye, baby.
Okay, I'm gonna go. I'll see
Can you drop me off at home?
I mean, to Kavya's.
Yeah, sure.
Come, let's go.
So, at Umami,
we focus on personal training.
-It's quality over quantity.
-Got it.
Also, you have celebrity clients, right?
Do you have any?
I met Ranveer Singh once,
during an audition.
-Was he auditioning?
-No.
I was auditioning.
Do you want to be an actor or a trainer?
I want to be a trainer,
until I make it as an actor.
Good luck with that.
-Thanks, Anj.
-Bye.
Sir!
Please, sir.
What's going on?
Why did you lock the gate?
You're not allowed in, sir.
What do mean?
Sir, madam's orders.
I can't enter my own home?
Sorry, sir.
Open the gate, or I'll call the secretary.
He already knows.
Open the gate!
Sir! You'll fall, sir!
Mr. Khanna, please, stop this circus!
Good morning to you as well.
-Call Mrs. Khanna.
-Please, get down!
You can call her from jail.
-You'll fall down!
-Shit!
-Kavya!
-Varun, stop it!
-You stop it!
-Why are you acting like a monkey?
Kavs, what's going on?
I can't even go into my own house?
We both own it, okay?
Exactly! Both of us.
You and me, both!
Look at you!
Look at you, you immature idiot!
Two marriages, two kids,
and you are still sitting on the fence.
Leave!
Just leave!
Varun.
Please, let's go.
Varun, let's go!
Come down.
Careful.
Choose push-ups over push-up bras.
If you can't do it,
how will you get the clients to do it?
I'll do a couple to show them.
I'm unfollowing you.
Blocked you also. Thank you so much.
Hi.
I'm Sean. I'm here for the
-Swimmer?
-State level.
-Couldn't make it to Nationals?
-I wasn't that good.
-Such honesty? Okay.
-What's true is true.
Actually, my trainer
and I started obsessing a bit
and pushed myself too hard,
tore my ligaments.
-So, you picked yoga.
-Yeah.
Not too light for you?
Actually, on the contrary,
it's quite difficult.
Yoga changes your body and your mind.
Don't you find
doing it every day monotonous?
Well
that's how you become an expert. So
Plus, now I don't have
to do 80 kilograms squats.
Fair enough. Okay.
Let's do this.
Three minute plank.
Let's go.
Could we make it two minutes
and 56 seconds please?
Because I've never crossed
two minutes and 57 seconds
and I don't wanna lose self-respect.
-All right.
-What?
Your truth bombs. I'm not used to them.
Should I keep going
-You can get up.
-Okay.
Last question. Why yoga?
Because it is better
than being addicted to selfies,
or junk food, or alcohol, or drugs.
-You were an addict?
-Yeah.
What was your drug of choice?
Everything.
When I didn't get selected
for Nationals, I
smoke, shoot, snort, pop, fuck, eat,
I mean, you name it, I did it.
Okay.
Welcome to Umami.
Break a leg.
Thanks.
Great.
So, tell me, who is Dhananjay Deshpande?
Why don't you tell me?
Four generations ago, your grandfather
was a well-known politician of India.
Then politics became your family business.
You're privileged. Entitled.
You don't date Indian women.
There was a girl,
from the royal family of Kewad, right?
You're so far removed from the real India.
Actually, you have no idea
about the day-to-day struggles
of a common man.
-Is that how you see me?
-That's how everyone here sees you.
That's not how I want to be seen.
Fair enough. So, you tell me.
In your opinion,
who is Dhananjay Deshpande?
Sometimes, his father's son,
or his grandfather's grandson.
A boy who went to an elite boarding school
in the hills.
Who saw his family
only in the summer vacations.
Who was bullied.
So, that boy had to pretend to be strong
and face those bullies.
And I think, I'm still that boy.
A boy pretending to be a man
who's pretending to be strong
and facing his bullies.
Who didn't want to be a politician,
but an architect.
I loved drawing.
I still do, in fact.
But all that said, now that I'm here,
I wanna do the best I can.
Because when the going gets tough,
I stick around.
It's an old habit.
Who do you see in the mirror?
I'm not a good son.
I just pretend to be.
I listen to my father
but I don't understand what he says.
Some of his party's decisions
leave me fuming.
What is his worst quality?
That he lives in an echo chamber.
He genuinely can't take criticism.
Whatever I am,
I'm willing and able to learn.
And I want to learn.
We can work with this.
New guard versus old guard.
It's always good.
Wow I feel naked.
Stripped and whipped.
But today was good. Thank you.
I will take your leave.
Hey.
-Hey.
-I was just trying to call you.
I was passing by.
Thought I'd give you a ride.
Thanks.
-Dhananjay.
-Jeh.
-Pleasure.
-Same.
Jeh owns this bar at Kala Ghoda.
Truck Bar.
-I'd love to check it out sometime.
-Love to have you.
Actually, he just got served a notice
by municipal authorities
regarding some violations, you know?
And Jeh never violated any laws.
So, it just feels like
they are after him. You know?
I think I can help you out.
The mayor is a close family friend.
Thank you.
It's nice of you to offer,
but I'm taking care of it. Thanks.
Sure.
Let me know if you change your mind.
Mr. Khan, with this company, the right
thing would be to establish a precedent.
I was thinking,
let's go completely offensive on this one?
Honestly
I don't care. I just want to win.
If the two of you decide on a strategy,
I think it would help the case.
Right.
So, let's do this,
start with an offensive argument,
and then we'll establish a precedent.
We do have all the ethical
and moral advantages.
There's no way they can win.
Mr. Khan, I say
we scare the shit out of them.
And then bury them in paperwork.
That sounds good.
All the very best.
Thank you.
Thank you, guys.
This means, we can still do it.
Like a team.
Let's go.
-Good job, Ms. Menon.
-You too, Mr. Bose.
I don't trust this guy.
Come on! I've got this.
Nothing's more important than work for me.
It says it's stand-up night tonight.
Shall we?
-Don't you miss it?
-I don't.
But look who's on the line-up.
Yeah, whatever.
He's just an ex. We're totally cool.
"Just an ex"?
How many exes do you have?
They keep coming back
-Dude, Dr. Warsi?
-Where?
-"They keep coming back."
-So funny.
How fast do they "come"?
Hey.
What's up?
Hi.
I just wanted
to wish you luck on your set.
-Break a leg.
-Thanks.
So, everything okay?
Yeah.
Unless you're planning
on ruining something.
Why would you say that?
I shouldn't have.
I heard about your dad.
I wanted to call, but
Sorry.
Thanks.
I just
No hard feelings, I hope.
Next up is Amit,
who needs no permit to be funny and brave.
Thanks, man.
Hey, guys!
Hope everyone's having a fun evening.
-How you all feeling tonight?
-Great!
Nice. I wish I could say that, because
I myself am feeling slightly weird.
-Why?
-Because
Because I bumped into my ex
just before coming on stage.
Yeah. And when I asked her, "Why?"
She said, "I just wanna wish
you good luck for your set."
"Break a leg."
Knowing her, she might actually
want me to break my fucking leg, you know?
She happens to be this entitled,
privileged snob from SOBO,
who has nothing in common
with the people of the rest of the city.
You know the joke,
"Is Saki Naka in Japan?"
I think it's based on her.
When she left home to come to Bandra
and saw a rikshaw for the first time,
she was, like, "Hello, tuk-tuk."
She also had a problem with my flat.
But I don't really blame her for that.
I mean,
her bathroom's bigger than my house.
When she came over,
she saw the fan on the ceiling
and asked, "What is that?"
And I think, between me and the AC,
she probably chose the AC.
But you know what was worse
than the privilege?
It was the sex.
Like, she would just lie there,
like a pillow,
and fake an orgasm.
Like I was that naive.
She could've done some work.
It takes two, right?
And after all of this, in her head,
she's the victim.
Like, "People see me as a fat girl!"
I don't know,
maybe accept that you're fat,
get off the couch
and work out once in a while.
"My mommy doesn't love me!"
Boo-fucking-hoo, man! Who cares?
"I don't have a job!"
Maybe because you don't have any skills.
And then what genuinely hurt
was that she used me for her stand-up gigs
and she is the victim.
I'm anything but a victim!
Don't sit there and heckle me.
If you have something to say,
come onstage.
-Gladly.
-Yeah!
You were saying?
I said, I'm not a victim.
Guys, I don't know if you can tell,
but she's the ex.
And thank God for that. Right?
I mean, had I lived with such hate,
I would have died of toxicity by now.
Can you believe that? She broke my heart
and I can't even cry about it.
This isn't crying, Amit,
this was a personal attack.
This was hate speech.
Hate speech?
Clearly, somebody doesn't watch
the evening news. Right?
But tell me, seriously,
what did I do to deserve this end?
Okay, sure.
Where do I start?
Wait! I had to fake an orgasm,
because I had to protect your fragile ego.
That's what most women do, by the way.
Yes!
And I used to lie there like a pillow?
Really?
You never gave me enough time
to do anything.
Ever heard of that word
What is it? "Foreplay"?
-Really?
-You know, he had a fixed sex set.
Like a comedy set.
Kiss-kiss, nibble-nibble, gobble-gobble,
ten seconds and done.
Every single time.
Guys, you know what time it is?
It's time for me to mention
Girlfriend-Gate.
I called her my girlfriend onstage,
she lost the fucking plot.
Yeah! That's normal. Right?
Before talking to each other,
he announced it
in front of a live audience of 150 people.
Because this is not real life,
it's a Bollywood movie, right?
Where you can point to me
and say, "That's my girl,"
and I would smile coyly.
You know, if we use the B-word
before they use the G-word,
then suddenly we are the clingy
and the needy ones.
And they're like,
"Bro, she's being too needy.
I need my space. I'm feeling suffocated."
And if they use the G-word,
then we should feel privileged
and obliged.
And if we don't want to be girlfriends,
or wives, or have any sort of labels,
then we're cold-hearted bitches.
I seriously suggest
that before you announce it to the world,
discuss among yourselves
whether you are in a fucking relationship.
And no, fucking is not a relationship.
Also, I never used you for my gigs.
You are the one who used me
as material for your gigs.
And still are.
Siddhi!
What the fuck was that?
Closure.
And I'm done talking.
Wow! That's mature.
I'm in therapy because of you.
Trust issues.
Okay, listen, aren't you going overboard?
We barely knew each other
for three months.
So you're gonna decide how I need to feel?
Does this fall under SOBO privileges?
You know, you're a horrible person.
Guess fucking what?
I'm not beans and rice,
I can't make everyone happy.
Great line!
You should use it in your set.
I will. And you'll buy
a ticket to watch me do it.
He hates me.
-And I'm ready to do stand-up again.
-Yes!
-That's my girl!
-You'll set the stage on fire!
Tell me a story.
-How about The Hare and the Tortoise?
-No.
When did you first fall in love?
Okay
So, there was this girl, Stella,
she lived in Aldona in Goa,
near my grandparents' house.
She'd come to watch
my football matches everyday.
One day, I needed to pee very badly,
so I went behind the bushes.
Stella saw me,
and that bush dried up in a week.
Can you believe it?
Stella told everyone
that my pee poisoned the bushes.
And people started call me PP,
"Poisonous Penis."
Do you think that
I think you have a poisonous penis
and that's why I'm not sleeping with you?
No! What? Are you crazy?
I'm crazy?
I'm crazy?
It's strange. Right?
You need time to move in and that's okay.
But I need time
to put everything that happened past me
and start having sex again
and that's not okay.
And I'm crazy?
What are you talking about, Damini?
I'm psycho both ways, right?
I'm the crazy one, Damini's the crazy one.
-Damini, "The Crazy," Rizvi Roy.
-What's going on?
First, you mention my problems
to that Dhananjay and now this?
"That Dhananjay"?
What?
Why bring him into this?
He was trying to help you.
Why discuss my business problems
with a stranger?
He's not a stranger.
Maybe for you, it's normal to get help
from people you met five minutes ago.
But I don't take favors from strangers.
So, do me a favor
and tell him not to take care of it.
And by the way,
I was connecting my story
to your pee girl story.
I was just trying to make you laugh.
I'm really nervous, okay?
Everyone is there to learn, Mom.
No more doubts. Go forth and conquer.
And it also looks like
it's a senior citizen's gathering.
-I hope I'm in the right place.
-Mom!
Love you. Bye.
Hello.
-Good morning, everyone.
-Good morning.
I'm your instructor, Rajan Malhotra.
So, let's start
with how to invest in the stock market.
-Sorry.
-It's okay.
I'm so sorry.
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
Shall I continue, Ms
Mrs. Sneha Viju Patel.
-Yes. Please, continue.
-Thank you, Mrs. Sneha Viju Patel.
So, stock market
In which stocks should we invest?
What should we chose?
Growth stocks? Yield stocks?
Large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap?
I'm really sorry.
You said, growth stocks, yield stocks
-What did you say after
-Don't worry.
This is just the orientation.
You can start the notes a little later.
Okay. Stocks.
What about new issues?
They definitely have short-term gains.
After all,
we're not exactly young anymore.
Except of course you, ma'am.
Old or young, short-term or long-term,
there's always risk in the market.
My husband used to say that.
And he passed away
suddenly at the age of 54.
So, one thing I know,
is that life has no guarantees.
And you're absolutely right.
There are none.
And absolutely not in the stock market.
So, on that note, can anyone tell me
what are blue chip stocks?
Anyone?
Any guesses?
Yeah, sure. Of course.
Blue chip stocks
are like a rich, entitled and old person.
You know,
the ones with expensive collections
of fine wines and cigars, worth millions.
Arrogant and slow,
but also trustworthy
and financially sound.
With time,
their value and reputation increase.
Absolutely brilliant.
With your permission,
may I use that in my next orientation?
-Sure.
-Thank you.
So, moving on.
Blue chip stocks
Hi. Where are you?
I've been waiting.
Okay, I'll wait downstairs.
So, how long has it been?
Seven months.
Five years.
Does it get any easier?
I try every day.
Try to keep myself busy.
Work, workshop, travel.
You know what's most difficult?
Is it the mornings?
Yeah.
When I wake up in the morning,
my hand goes to the other pillow.
That's when you realize she's not there.
Twenty-seven years.
I don't know how to live without Viju.
You know, for me, she's still here.
In all the small things.
Morning breakfast,
sudoku in the newspaper,
or even a bad joke makes me realize
how much she would have laughed at it.
Or I might utter her favorite cuss word.
Or her favorite song plays on the radio.
Or you see them in your daughter's eyes.
Exactly. They are here.
Yeah, I think you're right.
My daughter, Siddhi.
Siddhi. Come
and meet my instructor, Rajan Malhotra.
Mama, it's getting late. Let's go.
-No problem.
-Come.
Siddhi?
Ms. Patel, pleasure.
Hello.
Siddhi?
Your mom is a great student.
Makes some brilliant analogies.
I'm sure.
I'll see you on Saturday.
Next class.
-See you. Bye.
-Bye.
Move.
It was a really excellent class.
Yeah, I can see that.
As in?
As in, paying special attention
to his special student.
-Siddhi, really?
-Seriously, Mommy?
You still doubt it
after Manohar's episode?
Let's go home, Raju.
Caramel!
-Wow!
-Hey, Caramel.
Hi, Caramel?
Is your name Caramel? Hi, Caramel.
Caramel, sit.
Actually, we're closed right now.
Can you come back tomorrow?
-No. We are just out on a walk.
-Hi.
I run this bakery down the road.
Caramel, she just barged in.
So, thought we would peep in.
Please, peep all you like then.
-You can come in.
-Thank you.
Come. Come on, Caramel.
Caramel, go inside.
-Thank you.
-No problem.
What great energy.
-I'm Meher, by the way.
-Umang.
Umang's Umami.
The fifth taste.
That words can't describe.
Creative Supervisor: Dinesh Shakul