Getting On (2013) s03e04 Episode Script

1 - Good morning, Ron.
- Wow.
Do I know you? Is this the same woman I've been working with these past weeks? It's one and the same.
Since today is symposium day, I brought my "A" game.
But, uh, Patty and Janice down in Events, they have really stepped up.
Everything is shipshape, everything's ready.
- I am very ready.
Hurry, three p.
m.
- Yes.
People are affectionately calling it my "sympoosium.
" Oh, look, this is the coveted Helen Tillman Award, and that's given to he, or she, who has the greatest contribution to geriatrics.
You can run that over to Janice and Patty.
Although, maybe it's gonna be coming right back to Mama.
Hi.
Okay, busy day.
Busy, busy, busy.
Dawn, you're gonna be working a half-day today, and then Marguerite and I will hold down the fort while you work the anal horn booth from three to six.
Yes, if I can.
And Nurse Ortley, you asked for extra hours, so I'm putting you down for Thursday of next week.
Thank you.
And I won't be available after four p.
m.
on Monday, because I will be attending a meeting for the founding of the Long Beach chapter of Cheer, Dorothy, Cheer! An all-male cheerleading and philanthropic organization, because I am gay.
Nice.
In olden days a glimpse of stocking Was looked on as something shocking Now heaven knows anything goes Ms.
Lamb? How are you feeling today, Ms.
Lamb? Pretty good.
My nurse alerted me that your breathing was giving you some trouble.
And she's been a little bit out of it this morning.
Let's continue her Ampicillin.
Get me a sputum culture, and let's keep a close eye on her blood oxygen saturation.
You need to lick this pneumonia, and you can count on us to help you out.
I love you for all that you do for me.
Hm I believe in the Big Bang.
I'm just saying, what made a bang? Know that the question should be, though, what was there before the Big Bang? And I told you, there was nothing there before the Big Bang.
- Excuse me.
- Absolutely nothing.
Zero.
- Consciousness was there.
- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Um, I'm sorry to say that her labs confirm that we have two serious infections, and some endocarditis.
We absolutely need to attack the bacterial buildup before a heart surgery is required.
Of greater, uh, immediate concern, though, is the UTI.
If her leukocytes get any higher, she could flip into sepsis, tissue hypoperfusion, shock, ultimately death.
- So, what do we do? - We bring out our big guns.
We get her started on Cipro right away, Nurse.
Yes.
Draw blood every three hours, monitor leukocytes.
Hope for the best.
Oh! Look at you, Dawn.
I'm so proud of you.
You look so healthy.
You've even put a little weight back on.
It's been three days since my last dialysis.
I'm carrying 12 pounds of waste that needs to be removed.
But your attitude is so much improved.
You're starting to take things in stride.
That encourages us to take things in stride.
Good for you.
- I'm still very ill.
- Well, I'm glad you're up to manning the anal horn booth this afternoon.
I'm so happy we'll be spending this special day together.
- Hello? May I help you? - Yes, hello.
I'm looking for Dr.
James.
Are you Jenna James? - I am.
- Yes, I'm Dr.
Pippa Moore.
- I'm here for the conference.
- Oh, Dr.
Moore! Oh, welcome! I Well, I thought that I - I didn't know where - Is there Well, no, no.
Thank you.
Yes, I've come too early, haven't I? - No - Oh, the jet lag, I couldn't sleep.
So I just jumped on the first shuttle bus from the hotel.
- Look, if I'm a nuisance - No, no! No, not at all.
There's an early bird breakfast down by the welcome booth.
- Yes, I've already Mm It's - Oh.
Well, then I could take you on a little tour? - Would you? - Mi casa es su casa.
- Oh, well, that's Muy bien.
- Wanna put your things down in my office? - Yes, please.
- It's right here.
Oh, very, uh, small.
Eh - Hi, Nurse.
- Hi.
Hey, uh Heard what you said before.
Must be rough.
Just wanted to say hang in there.
Thank you.
So, uh, will you be taking part in the symposium today? The bare minimum.
I wouldn't consider myself one of the world's great experts on the vagina.
- Okay.
- All right.
Excuse me.
Is this mayonnaise sugar-free? I can't eat sugar.
Yeah.
I can't eat sugar either.
I really shouldn't be eating any of this.
Yeah.
Me, neither.
I'm gluten intolerant.
I'm gluten intolerant.
And I have terrible acid reflux.
I have reflux.
I have GERD.
- Mm Oh, please.
- Bacon? Are you reading this book? I read this book when I had my recent breakdown.
You had a recent breakdown? I had a recent breakdown! Over-sedation of the elderly is epidemic.
I would only prescribe Seroquel to a patient who was a smoking schizoid.
Yes, and I titrate them down as soon as possible.
Around here, the only thing we titrate up on is caring and friendship.
- Vent suite.
- Yes.
We've done several studies on BPA and its estrogenic effects.
Hm.
It's polyurethane foam furniture that's the culprit.
Exactly! Ethers leak out.
Endocrine disrupters.
Two heads, smaller testes.
Yes, it's the shabby, cheaper furniture, so the poor share a disproportionate rate of disease, tragically.
Environmental racism.
What do you drive? - Uh, Audi.
You? - Volvo.
- Oh - Dr.
James.
I've been on the phone with the pharmacy for half an hour.
They are out of the Cipro.
They want to send Amifloxacin instead.
- Oh.
Okay.
Well, fine.
- Ah, here she is.
It's just as good as, right? My statistical research assistant, Den Flixter.
Oh! And this is my Dawn.
Dawn Forchette.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- I like your bow.
- Thank you.
Yeah, it's the second-generation anal horn.
Its design reflects the concavity of the rectum.
So this sits right up against the rosebud? - Yeah.
- Hm.
You're her statistical research assistant? No, I'm a ward sister, but she's paid me to come here so that she can look more important.
Mine is paying me to man this booth.
I'm a stool monkey.
I do do her research.
She just won't admit it.
Mine uses me for everything.
I set up the buffet.
I think you're lovely.
You're a seer.
Hello, there.
I'm a visiting doctor, literally and figuratively.
Uh, Dr.
Pippa Moore.
And I see you have visitors.
How nice for you.
Well, you're loyal employees, I presume? - She's our mother.
- Oh.
Well! Oh, a mixed race family.
Yes.
How wonderful.
Yes, wonderful.
It's, uh, good for you.
Is it? Um Well, anything goes.
Hello! - Hello, there you are.
- It's a melting pot.
This is our Didi, and this is her mother-in-law, Vivian Ortley.
Flaming UTI.
Ten days on a catheter.
Right.
You used a dipstick on her? We're well beyond that.
Leukocytes at 1200.
Oh, good heavens! You've considered a suprapubic catheter, of course? Uh, oh, yeah, so this is, um, where we place a small hole directly in the tummy and just feed a draining tube straight down into the bladder.
Well, there's been a bit of increased mental confusion, so I ordered up some Cipro.
Which the pharmacy was out of, - so they sent Amifloxacin instead.
- Yes, Nurse.
Because Ciprofloxacin and Amifloxacin are both fluoroquinolones.
And so, rest assured, Amifloxacin is a very, very good fallback.
- Yes, I suppose.
At a pinch.
- Yes, it's perfectly fine.
- Yes, at a pinch.
- It's perfectly fine.
It's Look, you have to help us, Di, because we want to get her out of here today.
Take her against medical advice? Do y'all realize what you're asking? Unless we do something, she's not gonna make it out of here alive.
Thank you! If we can get her into boarding care, and get her away from these germs and infections and medical stuff, then she could live! This is an awful place, Denise.
It is not an awful place, okay? It's whole different than any other hospital, and I work here, Yvette.
And, babe, you know I've already been warned about working "outside the scope of my authority.
" Baby, we need you on this.
I need you.
I need you to understand that I could lose my license, Darnell.
I was sexually assaulted in college twice.
And last year I had to have a complete hysterectomy because they found fibrous cysts the size of tangerines.
I have end-stage kidney disease.
I'm on dialysis.
It's horrible.
No one takes it seriously, everyone thinks since you're on dialysis, you're fine.
No one thinks you're special.
It makes it really hard.
Yeah, I'm the same.
How are you the same? I have kidney failure.
Yeah, I have so much post-traumatic stress disorder, with it an eating addiction from a lifetime of trauma, that my therapist has told me that it is the equivalent of a terminal disease, only worse because she says I can't be treated.
Richard! Hello! It's so exciting here.
Everything's reaching a fever pitch.
Uh-huh.
Oh, okay All right.
Well, it was bound to happen.
Well, I just can't I mean, not today.
No, I know.
It's just that we weren't that close.
All right.
Bye-bye.
My mother just died.
Jenna, what's going on? I've been paging you.
I paged you last night, several times this morning.
Are you ignoring me or Oh, no! Oh, Paul! No! I'm so sorry.
I've been spectacularly busy.
Well, we're meeting now to discuss ward closures.
Oh, I know, but today is my symposium.
Yes, but we're we're discussing the possibility of shutting down various departments, including Billy Barnes.
And I've been looking at your symposium program.
Your "acknowledgments" and "thanks.
" You don't thank the hospital.
Is this intentional or Well, I suppose it is.
Because except for Patty and Janice, I haven't received any support from you at all, so I'm just telling the truth.
Jenna, this symposium is not winning you any friends.
I've known you for 22 years, and it pains me to say this.
But what you've become? You're not a nice person.
There was no need to say that.
Okay, I'm not nice.
I can live with that.
This is my day, Paul.
Please don't embarrass or humiliate me in front of my friends and colleagues.
The five top regrets of the dying actually are, um, "I wish I hadn't worked so hard," "I wish I'd have allowed myself to be happier," "I wish I had the courage to express my feelings" She needs to be on IV antibiotics, I can have a nurse there by five.
It's a really nice facility, but we are gonna need a nurse for at least the first two weeks.
I hope we didn't miss anything around here.
We've just been shopping for plus-sized clothing.
And then on the way back, we swung by my hotel so I could show Dawn my suite.
Ah, yes, I meant to mention something about that.
There was a mix-up in reservations, I'm afraid, so, well, I have the much smaller twin room, and my research assistant has ended up with the suite.
- Oh, no.
- Normally, I wouldn't mind, Den, you know me, it's just a room.
Um, my Didi can fix this.
Didi, can you straighten all this out? - Huh? - Could you, please? I will need a sofa and a desk.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I will straighten it all out.
I'll get you the reservation.
Sister Den Flixter.
Sister Flixter.
Now, you might not find me remotely attractive, I understand, but I find you delicious.
So if there's anything you want to do that no one else is comfortable with, anything, my skill set is very high on all the basics.
This is my hotel.
I'm free tonight.
And if it doesn't interest you, no worries.
Hi.
We haven't had a chance to share and process my big news.
- That I'm now gay.
- Yeah.
What do you think of my news? Well, I think it's very curious that you chose this of all times, when I have my kidney disease.
I feel like you were just jealous and trying to steal the limelight.
Mr.
Bear? Are you there? My wife and I wanna take her home today.
So you're saying you will not support us in that decision? No.
Discharging her would be tantamount to elder abuse.
She can't advocate for herself, so I'm advocating for her.
- She needs care.
- You don't let other people talk, do you? Madam, it's problematic when doctors play God She won't even pretend to listen.
My answer is absolutely not.
What are you two doing? What I'm sorry, Dr.
James.
I'm sorry for them taking up your time.
You need to talk to these two, Didi, encourage them to do the right thing.
I will absolutely talk some sense into them.
- I am so, so sorry.
- I understand.
Just give them a couple of these coupons for the cafeteria.
Because maybe the added wait will help them reconsider.
You guys did real good.
I think you came across as believable.
And I think I'm hopefully protected.
Oh, my God, what a bitch.
- Oh, Didi.
- Talking to her is like talking to a rock.
- She's a cold fish.
- She just doesn't understand people.
She don't understand patients.
It's all in her head, and none of it in her heart.
Arthur! Arthur Pan! Arthur, this is Dr.
Ron Rudd.
Ron, this is Arthur Pan.
Arthur's gonna be moderating "Fecal Impaction & Loading.
" Dr.
Pippa Moore.
There's Dr.
Runyon with the Winter Continence Society Workshop.
Oh, look who it is! Ruben Sidsey! Ru Author of the book "Anus.
" Edit! Edit Gutterman! Past ITGAG president.
A birdy told me positive things about the Helen Tillman Prize and you.
I don't know.
Well, where there's life there's hope.
- Jenna? - I don't know.
Am I? I don't care.
I don't even know who I am anymore! Am I still still seem like me? Heather! - Heather Stern.
- Ah, Salzburg.
Yes.
"Designing Therapeutic Trials for Agitation in Early Onset Alzheimer's.
" Dr.
Moore.
"Fecal Bacteriotherapy Treatment for Chronic C.
Diff," and "Bristol Stool Chart, A Revised Analysis of Geriatric Stool.
" Oh! I wasn't aware of your work on the Bristol Stool Chart and Geriatric Stool.
Oh, yes, I've long been immersed in stool.
Yes, I first published in 2009, and then did a revised analysis just three months ago.
I'm up for the Helen Tillman Prize, if you can you believe that.
- Oh, so you're a nominee? - Yes.
- Don't tell me, you too? - Yep.
Oh Tawny, tapered, tarry.
These three stool are the same.
These look like different stool to you? I hate this uniform.
The fabric doesn't breathe.
She published 17 types, three of which are very sketchy.
I published 32.
And then she just takes 11 of mine.
It's just a cheap attempt to rob me of my research, take my crown, based on stolen and invented stool.
I feel like my body's being suffocated.
She's trying to steal my prize, Dawn.
I mean, I don't care, but say what you will, they do matter.
I mean, I get it.
You know.
Sure, her career tanked, and she's frustrated.
Nobody likes her.
She doesn't understand people.
It's like talking to a rock.
She's a bitch.
Okay, y'all, the visiting nurse is all set.
Y'all come back at six.
The coast will be clear.
Everybody will be at that shindig.
- All right.
- We'll be back, Mama.
See you, Mama.
Sorry about what I said about, um, you and Darnell.
That's okay.
Because we gotta be here for Mama Viv.
We can't be petty.
We gotta move on.
I just wish you could hold your tongue is all.
- I know it's hard.
- What do you mean? We just share a lot of history, that's all.
Yeah, okay.
That's true, but What do you mean? When was the last time I said at Thanksgiving or Christmas, "Oh, hey, everybody.
You know, the only reason why Caroline is with us today is because I talked Yvette out of getting that abortion"? That's a that is a goddamn lie, Didi.
Is it? Are you trying to re-write history? 'Cause we were at that clinic.
That you took me to.
Didi, you made me go there because you said I needed to consider my options.
'Cause you said you were gonna get an abortion in Downey.
In Downey? Don't look at her.
She knows the truth too! You were wailing and crying, and I said, "Don't do it.
" And you said it would ruin your marriage.
And I was the one that told you, "God bless his heart, but Waylon is too trusting and too dumb to ask where that baby came from.
" Now, you know that's the truth.
- How's it going? - I hate it.
Sorry, it's not you.
Well, part of it's you.
I know it's hard, Dawn.
But it's working for you.
You're doing great.
Your numbers are excellent.
You could last years, the kind of patient for whom dialysis can be a very successful new normal.
I know, transplants are sexy, they get all the attention and focus, but you are thriving on the quiet, little miracle of dialysis.
- Oh, where you going? - I gotta go.
- Oh, how long? - I'll just be a few minutes.
Any longer and the tubing would clot.
- I need to get out of here.
- We'll start all over again.
- So let me just do it for you.
- I'm good.
- There's a little trick we can do - I hate this! No, no, not the needles! - Not the needles, not the - I hate it! - No, no, no, clamp it! Where's the clamp? - Clamp it! - I'm trying, I'm trying! I'm trying! - Put it back! - Shit! - You're an idiot.
Hello.
Oh Are you coming back to the party? Oh! We're dancing now! - Everybody's gonna dance! - Dr.
James! Dr.
James.
The Ortleys are leaving.
I mean, quickly.
They're making a run for it.
We need to keep her warm.
Waylon, put that beanie on her.
I could be fired for even unhooking this IV.
Y'all took her while I was changing the line.
Sign that, it says I explained all the risks.
You look like Mary Tyler Mama.
All right.
Car's out front.
Where am I supposed to sign? - This is a lot of paperwork.
- Sign at the bottom! - Oh, the bottom.
All right.
- Didi.
Well so you're involved as well.
Turns out this is one big conspiracy after all.
You don't really care what I might say, my professional opinion.
The way the path is leading, we're afraid she's gonna die here.
- Where are you taking her? - A great boarding care facility.
We got a nurse, a prescription for Cipro.
Things happen at hospitals, infections, you know that.
Look, Doc, no one here is wanting to cast any aspersions on anybody.
Dr.
James, I love my job.
But this is what my husband wants for the woman he calls his mama.
- It's hard on me.
- You lead with your heart.
How lovely.
"Oh, my heart says do this, my heart says do that.
" Anybody can do that, Didi.
There's nothing hard about that.
Hi.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.
- Jenna - Shh.
- Jenna! - Shh.
Oh, yeah I just came.
- It's all right.
- No, no, no.
You're not listening.
So you just came.
Who cares? Jenna Jenna, I can't.
I'm sorry.
I really can't.
Hey, I'll call you when we get there.
You got Mama Viv out, and you got me to marry you.
I owe you for both.
- Bye, Di.
- I'll call you.
We need to plan Thanksgiving.
There you are.
You know, I've been thinking about you all day.
I feel very sorry for you that you can't be happy for me.
Really? Well, I don't care, because I don't think anything really matters to you.
- Really? - I think you were just toying - with emotions all along.
- Okay, I was a jerk for making you fall in love with me, and then leaving you high and dry to get over me as best you could.
- You can't blame yourself.
- Yeah, you know what? You can't blame yourself for falling completely in love with me! Was I just like a blow job queen for you? - Someone with low self-esteem? - God, no, Dawn, you were special to me.
You know that.
You know, I was able to pretend that you and me and Sammy, like, just for this brief period of time, I was able to entertain the silly fantasy that he was ours, he was our sweet, dear, little uncle, - and that everything was nice and good - God, no, Dawn.
- But the reality is - Is what? I'm dying.
Dialysis isn't working.
My numbers are terrible.
I need a transplant to survive.
Oh, my God.
Dawn And, you know, whatever time I have left, Pats, I need to find meaning in my life.
And that's not with you.
Get up.
Come on.
- Now? - No one's watching.
The coast is clear.
Come on! Just let's go! The Helen Tillman Prize goes to a woman who perfected our understanding of geriatric stool, Dr.
Pippa Moore! On behalf of Ward K2, St.
Jude's Hospital, Sussex, United Kingdom.
Oh, unexpected! Oh! Oh, goodness.
What a night, Miss Birdy.
So much action, hubbub, and drama.
Yeah, I need a resus.
Yeah, I don't know, maybe a trach.
No, not a ventilator.
But I am sorry.
I'm sorry to bother you.
I made a mistake.
The patient already passed.
We love you, Miss Birdy.
Absolutely unexpected, and completely sort of bowled over by it.
No hard feelings.
Tawny and tapered are the same.
Oh, no, a closer inspection will reveal they're quite dissimilar.
Well, then you stole 11 of my feces.
- Oh, no such thing.
I delved deeper.
- Waxy? Wavy? I was the first to record waxy and wavy, and string bean and nuggets.
I conceived of reevaluating the Bristol Stool Chart in 2008 - and published in 2009.
- Mm I mean, between us, there is little question who was first out of the gate.
Well, I plan to appeal.
Lay out all the evidence and then we'll see.
You really are quite disagreeable! You're quite disagreeable, not likeable.
Well, thank you for your hospitality.
- You glad you came, Den? - Yes, I am.
- It's a shambles, this place, isn't it? - Mm Yes.
You should see the notebooks full of insurance forms.
I thought they had all that sorted out.
Whoo!