Jane the Virgin (2014) s03e04 Episode Script
Chapter Forty-Eight
1 NARRATOR: All right, it's a brand-new day, friends.
And our Jane has a brand-new house.
And a brand-new relationship with her baby daddy.
Now that I'm no longer in love with you, we've entered a new phase of our relationship.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of changes, her mom was considering giving up singing for a new career.
Oh, and Rafael's ex-wife, Petra, changed too.
See, last year she did something nice and subsidized - Jane's new house.
- Do they have any idea I'm the owner? - They have no idea.
- Since then, her sister, Anezka, had paralyzed her and taken her place.
No boys, sweetheart.
You need to stay focused.
But she couldn't because she fell in love with Scott, the manager of the Marbella Lounge.
And Rafael's sister, Luisa, had a change of heart and said goodbye to her great love, Rose.
Otherwise known as the crime lord Sin Rostro.
- And Derek? - He's dead.
He was on her list.
- Along with your mom.
- Wait, my mom's not dead.
I know, straight out of a telenovela, right? Well, imagine this, Jane's father was a telenovela star.
And he was intent on raising his profile in America.
And, oh, yeah, one last big change, our Jane was no longer a virgin.
- Whoo! - So, yeah, things are different all right.
Over the years, there have been a few times when Jane almost left the nest.
She almost left for love - Shh! - Her mother's, but still Janie, you're gonna love it.
He has his own pool, and you'll have your own bathroom.
Abuela, come on, she's sad.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She almost left because of anger.
XIOMARA: What, you'll kick me out? Do it and I'll take Jane with me! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She almost left for school.
- - Bye Ma! Yes, all right, I promise.
(squeals) Bye! I couldn't sign the housing contract.
We live 20 minutes away, I'd save so much money.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Until one day, she left for real.
So cute.
I hope they get the house done on time.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And I'm not gonna lie.
It felt different.
Excited to dive in, find myself a career.
Ah.
Mm? Is this from the Marbella gift shop? - And you missed Jane.
- (sighs) It's okay.
I miss her too.
JANE: Yup.
Called it.
First two RSVPs, Mom and Abuela.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, good, there's Jane! I was missing her too.
Okay, don't hate me.
I think the wall wants to be a shade lighter Oh, my God, yes, I was thinking the same thing too, but I didn't want to say anything.
No, we want it to be perfect.
Let's repaint this afternoon.
Eggshell or matte? Eggshell.
And can I just say You sound so sexy when you talk home decor.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
'Cause I was thinking about a mirror - (softly): Stop it.
- in the entryway Keep talking.
- A bowl of lemons - Uh-huh.
- (moans) - on the table for a pop of color.
- Just take off your pants right now.
- They're coming off.
Oh, shoot, my dad's gonna be here soon! So no? So hurry! (Jane moaning) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yup.
Things are different all right.
JANE: I'm coming, I'm coming! (gasps) Hey, Dad.
Mateo should be up from his nap And I am gonna go change 'cause I'm running late.
No, wait, wait, wait! Guess who I have a very special meeting with tomorrow.
Amanda from my writers' group? But more importantly, Amanda the author of It's being made into a Hallmark Christmas movie.
You could be looking at Logan McMurray, widowed, devastatingly handsome baker! Just don't wear those overalls.
Of course not, mine would be much more fitted.
Anyway, this could be the perfect role to raise my American profile.
And hopefully, at the end of our meeting (chuckles) Amanda will agree.
Dad you're not planning on sleeping with her to get the part, are you? No, of course not.
I wouldn't do that.
Again.
Good, just making sure.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of sexy times Oh, oh, God, look, Petra, babe, I got to go.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To remind you, that was not Petra.
I just can't help myself, you're just so handsome.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Obviously.
(both moaning) You'll recall we left these two considering blackmail.
I've got dirt on everyone at the Marbella.
Including good stuff on Rafael.
So let's take him down together, baby.
Mm.
Mm.
But listen first we've got to turn this hotel around.
'Cause money's tied up in it, and it's a ghost town.
Which brings us here, now.
Okay, just be prepared The staff isn't going to like it.
Oh, don't worry.
Last week, I threatened to cancel Jane's mom's gig unless she publicly backed the Flamingo Initiative.
What the hell is the Flamingo Initiative? So, guys, we're damn near sold out for our first theme night Flamingo Friday.
Ladies your outfits.
- - WOMEN: Ugh WOMAN: What? Oh, wow.
How fun.
Super fun.
Exactly.
Thank you, Jane.
Guys, we're just going no shirts, pink bowties.
Just really classic sexy.
On to other orders of business.
We're phasing out bussers in the afternoon, so shifts are gonna be 45 minutes longer.
- Wait, what? - Don't gripe.
It's economical.
You'll make more bank.
No, we won't.
Because service will be terrible.
Well, it's happening.
Deal with it.
This is ridiculous.
You need to talk to your baby daddy.
Lina, his mother just died.
- Fine.
Your sister wife.
- You need to, 'cause her creepy boy toy's out of control.
(sighs) Sorry, Scott's the boss of the lounge.
Take it up with him, not me.
Petra, come on.
Can't we talk about it? No.
Look, I-I know things have been complicated between us.
Because of what I said you know, when we fought before the wedding.
A reminder: Anezka has no idea what she's talking about.
Yes.
Exactly.
And I get that.
I-I do.
I mean, it was awful of me to imply that I think that I'm a better person than you.
Even just hearing it again is a shock.
Yeah, but you remember what was going on.
- Not a clue.
- Of course.
And I don't want to rehash it.
So let's just steer clear of each other.
- What? - Do I have to be explicit, Jane? I don't like you.
I never have liked you.
Our babies share a father.
That's it.
Okay, you know what? Fine with me.
I'm done trying with you.
You're toxic.
DENNIS: Poison.
Most likely administered transdermally.
- (camera shutter clicking) - Could've been someone who bumped into your mother Got it.
I appreciate the update.
Anything come to mind at all, why she would - leave you that Bible? - No idea.
My mother wasn't religious.
She was a homicidal maniac.
I'm sorry, I just want to put this whole thing behind me.
I didn't know her.
I had no relationship with her.
And it's painful, frankly.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You'll recall Luisa recently returned from a submarine with another homicidal maniac.
It's actually not painful.
I'm fine, okay? Okay.
MICHAEL: Okay what do you think? I think it's perfect.
I love our house.
Me, too.
Me, three! What about you, Mateo? Hmm? You excited to grow up here? Listen to stories in that room Come in late, after curfew, through that door (laughs): Hey! MAN: Okay, you guys are gonna feel right at home here.
Excuse me, what are you doing barging into our house? Yeah, this definitely isn't your house.
- Who the hell are you people? - Uh! Okay, do not swear in front of my baby! - Now, what the hell is going on? - I manage this property.
And we rent this property.
Then how come I have no idea who you are? We put off moving here because my husband - was in the hospital.
- (man clears throat) If the place isn't for rent, - should we ? - No, it is for rent.
Come on in.
Come on in.
Have a look around.
As you can see, it's freshly painted.
JANE: No, do not look around.
- And that fresh paint is ours! - Okay, look, there's obviously been a mix-up.
We signed a lease.
This is our realtor.
(laughs): Yeah.
I know this guy.
Reps a couple of deadbeats who stopped paying last month.
Oh, that's you guys.
We are not deadbeats.
I personally pay a thousand dollars a month.
Well, first of all, rent is 2,000 bucks.
What?! That's not what he told us.
Okay.
Please, just give us a couple of days to figure this out, okay? You know where we live.
(chuckles) So until recently, someone has been covering half our rent but keeping it a secret? Who would do that? Nah, it wasn't me.
He says it wasn't him.
So who would Nope, not me.
But if you need me to Oh, no, no, no, no.
Amanda's coming.
Good luck.
Tell her I said hi.
No offense, but you're not really a value-add.
(sighs) Amanda.
(whispers): Wow! How fun it's been catching up and hearing all about your jet-set life But you want to talk about the movie.
Well, I'm here, which means that you're in the running.
Well, in that case, how do I get to the finish line? That's your daughter's boyfriend, right? Huh? (laughs) ROGELIO: Oh.
Rafael? Ex.
He's a real cutie.
Is he? Huh.
Anyway, back to Sprinkled With Love.
The way I see it, the cookie is a metaphor I have a charity event in Coral Gables.
Nothing would give me more pleasure than to have a gorgeous man on my arm.
- I wanted to ask you - I'm in.
But now I'm thinking Rafael.
Excuse me? It would make me very happy.
And those vicious charity bitches very jealous.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Tough choice.
On the one hand, he's just been insulted to his core.
On the other hand .
(dings) Of course.
I'd like nothing more than to set you up with my gorgeous friend.
(elevator doors close) It is true.
You are extremely handsome.
I never noticed before.
Can I help you with something? Swoon-worthy looks and endlessly generous.
You are a prince among men, Rafael Solano, which is one of many reasons I consider you to be a very good friend.
What do you want, Rogelio? The woman I was eating lunch with will decide my American fate.
Either she will cast me as a stoic, sexy baker or I will wallow away in obscurity.
And all she requires is a date with you.
(chuckles) Are you trying to pimp me out? Absolutely not! No sex required.
Though if the spirit moves you (laughs) The answer's no.
(elevator doors open) JANE: Still no word from the realtor? (sighs) Well, keep trying.
I got to go before I drop these stupid flamingos.
Abuela? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ooh! I love the Marbella - Gift Shop.
- Sorry, World's Worst Boss is demanding that we stock the new flamingo merch ASAP, - and prominently.
- Take me home, Alba.
I don't pay you to visit your granddaughter.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Looks like Jane may not have the world's worst boss after all.
JORGE: You have to hear this.
Magical.
Clearest ocean sound you ever heard.
Come on.
What are you doing here? Aw.
- I miss you too, so, so much.
- Oh I wish I didn't have to go back to work.
Mwah.
Gracias.
I got a job! No, listen! I'm a teller at Sunrise Mutual West Miami! I get a 401k, regular 40 hours a week, and a parking space that says âReserved for bank employee.
â Which will be great once I can afford to get a car! I'll have to switch my dance class to weekends but that's okay, and (gasps) look.
New outfits.
Xiomara Abuela.
Be supportive.
- (exhales) - XIOMARA: I'm not looking for passion.
I'm still singing on weekends.
LINA: Whoa, slow down.
I forgot to give you the list of demands to sign.
List of demands? âFrom servers to management, "or else we walkâ" A walkout? Scott is a dictator.
A revolution is afoot.
Conditions are untenable.
Come on.
If you don't sign, I learned the word âuntenableâ for nothing.
- We're all in the same boat, right? - Yeah.
Okay, I'll sign, but I'm gonna give Rafael a heads up.
See? Right there, where I wrote âhereby and heretofore.
â (quietly): That's right.
Oh, my God.
The realtor.
I've been trying to reach this guy but he hasn't been returning my calls.
Need to talk to Petra Solano, where do I find her? Excuse me.
Jason Tartuffe? Oops.
Wrong hotel, never mind.
No, stop.
I heard you asking for Petra Solano! Stop! I'm the wife of a cop and I will arrest you! Is that a real thing? - LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Definitely not.
- Oh, it's a real thing.
Now, answer the question.
Why are you looking for Petra? Look, she paid me to keep quiet, but she's the one who's paying half your rent.
- What? - Or she was.
I'm out several months in commissions.
She won't return my phone calls.
It was Petra? I just found out what you did for Michael and me, with the house.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Again, I'll remind you that Anezka has no idea what she's talking about.
Oh.
Well, you're welcome.
A-A gift like that No, it was just a little something A house isn't exactly a little something! Well, by my standards, it's a very small house.
But yes, you caught me, I bought you the house.
Well, you mean rented.
It's the same word in Czech.
Anyway, let's not make a big deal of it, I was making a gesture, and you're - very welcome.
- Got it.
You know a-and this is awkward, uh but why did you suddenly stop the payments? That terrible fight.
When you called me a bad person.
I was I was so angry.
And then I meant to start paying again but Anezka fell ill Well, look.
Michael and I obviously can't let you pay for it.
But the gesture was so kind.
(chuckles) Come over to the new house for dinner.
Oh You wouldn't have done it if you didn't care, deep down.
Doesn't makes sense.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And so what could she say, but Of course.
Scott and I would be happy to come for dinner.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And what could she say but Right.
Scott too! Great! Can't wait! Hey.
Hey.
Are the girls asleep? You can go, then.
(beeping) Hello, Anezka.
(shrieks) We need to talk.
Who are you? Your mommy's friend from the inside.
Out on good behavior, but don't let that fool you.
I'm here to relay a message from her.
You guys had a plan.
Finish it.
But now's not a good time to sell my shares at the hotel.
Like, they'll be worth more if build it up, wait a bit, uh - Flamingo Friday - I don't give a rat's ass! You've got 72 hours to sell and get her a good lawyer, or else I make sure everybody knows exactly who you are.
Got it? MICHAEL: Petra? She and the vests guy are gonna be our first and last dinner guests? Come on, it was so nice of her.
And maybe they won't be our last dinner guests.
I mean, I've been thinking.
If we cut corners here and there, maybe we can stay.
That's your filing system? Well, this and the other box, yeah.
First things first.
Fixed expenses: - rent, food, gas, internet.
- My student loans.
I thought you paid it off.
One.
I found out the other has another two years.
- LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Found out? - All right.
So, let's list all other expenses, and then we'll start cutting.
No way, I need my NBA sports package.
You don't need it.
Have you ever heard of a library? I like to underline things.
Okay, fine.
(pained): No more buying books.
$170 for Mateo's Toddler Gym? I'm assuming that comes with illicit baby steroids.
Yeah.
Rafael pays for so much Mateo stuff.
I have to cover something.
Spotify or Pandora? One movie a month? - Lost it.
- Cut it.
Done.
And with this new budget we are (hits a key, cash register sound) still $280 short per month.
(crickets chirping outside) We'll sleep on it.
(Michael sighs) I think we should go to my dad.
$280 a month is not a huge ask - Really? - It'll be a loan.
We'll absolutely pay him back.
I love this place.
Let's do it.
While we're on the topic of doing it LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw, you can't put a price on that kind of happiness.
I need to withdraw $5 million.
Can you help me with that? Sure.
I'd be happy to.
CUSTOMER: I'm buying a yacht.
And, uh I would love to take you on it.
(chuckles) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So yeah.
Obviously, that didn't happen.
30 - (sighs) - 35 40.
These bills are sticking together! You asked for crisp, new ones, so Because they're for my grandson's birthday! You need to fan 'em out first.
Yeah, okay.
Well, next time.
(groans) You forgot to say âThank you for choosing "Sunrise Mutual West Miami for your financial needsâ" - And that's pretty important.
- Got it.
"Like, okay.
You're saying âgot itâ" But you said that last time.
And then you forgot again.
Well, this time I really got it.
Mm.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.
Someone made a big mistake.
ANEZKA: I'd like to sell my share of the hotel.
- What? - And I I know - it seems sudden.
- Yeah.
Of course it's sudden.
You've been driving up all these big changes - and now you want to sell? Why? - Because of Scott, actually.
It's not good for our relationship for me to be - working so closely with you.
- I am not interested Yes, I know.
You made that very clear.
Nevertheless, there is a lot of baggage here.
- And we'd like to make a fresh start.
- You know you need permission - from me and Luisa to sell.
- Yes.
I know.
And if you don't give it to me LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She'll blackmail you - with all of Scott's dirt! - Look, first, let me just see if I can put some money together to buy you out.
Oh.
Yeah, that-that would work.
RAFAEL: And then she told me I had 48 hours, which is crazy.
I think there's something going on.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yes, finally! - Like what? - She's not herself.
- LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Warmer.
- I think Scott's blackmailing her.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Are you serious? - Are you serious? - Well, it happened with Milos.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Colder! Colder! I mean, I'm having dinner with them tonight.
I'll suss out the vibe.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, whatever.
I'm not gonna get my hopes up.
Oh, before I go From my dad.
JANE: It was so awkward.
But I couldn't say no to my dad.
Oh, yeah, I hear you.
Cost of doing business.
I had to meet him for a guilt mani-pedi today.
I'm sorry, I can't watch this.
(laughs) Show off.
Michael! We agreed no more venti lattes.
Okay, I was in a hurry.
The drive-thru was right there.
The budget only works if we both stick to it.
Oh, yeah? That doesn't look like two-buck Chuck.
That's different, it's for Petra, who did a really nice thing for us.
Besides, it comes out of the entertainment budget.
We'll just not see a movie this month.
Fine.
Then I'd like my non-movie to count towards my coffee.
You can't do that.
Your latte is not entertainment.
That's not true.
I had a good time, okay? (doorbell rings) Better than I'm gonna have at this weird dinner party.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us here, now, to the Is that dressing gluten-free? I'll check.
Thanks.
Oh, no red for me.
I get heartburn.
Do you have any white? Yeah.
Babe, be reasonable.
Now is not a good time to sell.
I just want out.
Flamingo Friday's booked solid.
We're turning the hotel around.
The staff is planning a walkout.
No gluten.
Yay! (phone chimes) It was so great.
It's just the door on your left.
Let's make a deal.
Before you go to the bathroom? Petra told me about your financial predicament.
That extra grand a month you need? What if the hotel covered the discrepancy? We'll make it an official position Social Ambassador And all you have to do is get the rest of the staff to show up for Flamingo Friday and support our other initiatives.
You're offering me money to sell out my friends.
Oh, get off your pedestal, Jane.
Everyone's for sale.
Well, I'm not.
Your loss.
I'm sorry, I just have to ask.
You and Scott, is it a Milos situation? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To be clear, Anezka did know all about Milos.
You think I'm with Scott because he's blackmailing me? No, I just meant, um LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I got nothing.
That's exactly what she meant.
This is why I don't want to spend any time with you.
This is why I want out of here, this judgment! - No.
- What's going on, babe? We're leaving, that's what's going on.
Right now! I feel terrible.
I have to find some way - to make it up to her.
- Or not.
I mean, she's clearly trying to distance herself.
- But she's family.
- Family's overrated.
They just ask you to do things, like go to weird charity events so their dad can be in sexy baker movies.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes, that old chestnut.
Did I thank you profusely? You did.
JANE: Okay, I have to get back to my shift.
And you're sure you're okay with the walkout? Are you kidding? I hate this whole flamingo thing.
- (doorbell rings) - I'll talk to you later.
I've been looking for you.
I was hoping we could talk? I told you, I am fine.
No, um I'm not.
I'm sorry, I just I came from the police station, and talking about Rose again and what happened, and going over the details, I'm feeling a little unhinged.
Like I got Like, I need to drink.
Um, so I just thought, that, um, it was better that I wasn't alone.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Um, I just have this charity thing later.
I could come.
Hey! Ma, you scared the crap out of me.
Wait, why aren't you at work? I quit.
I had to.
It was so depressing.
Please, don't tell Abuela.
She was so proud of me.
She's gonna find out eventually.
No, I worked it out.
I find a new job, and then I tell her I was so good I got poached.
Well, start your job hunt somewhere else.
I gotta go.
The wait staff is meeting downstairs before the big walkout.
Okay.
Good luck.
Power to the people.
ALBA: Xiomara? Oh, hi, Ma.
Thought I dropped an earring back here.
The other day.
Anyway, it's not there.
I should go, uh, I've got about ten minutes of break left.
Um, okay.
Thanks.
Just drop me outside.
XIOMARA: Ma, there's nothing really exciting in here.
But Mrs.
Cohen looks tired.
Eh, I need cash.
Hey buzz me in, all right? I forgot my phone in the break room.
I I'm sorry, but you're no longer an employee.
Come on, Caitlyn, do me a solid.
- Security? - I bought you a venti latte! Ma'am? I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Xiomara? I quit, Ma, okay? I quit.
JANE: What's wrong? So I made some calls today, trying to save some money.
Got us a family plan for the cell phones, better rates on car insurance.
That's great.
I also called Mateo's gym class.
Yeah, I was a little surprised when they told me the monthly fees were already covered by Rafael.
I thought there must be some kind of mistake.
My wife would never lie to me about something like that.
I'm sorry.
I padded the budget.
You know, just in case we need money for an emergency.
Look, I grew up always worried about money.
So tell me, don't hide it from me like I'm a child.
You have a shoebox for your files.
Okay to be clear, I'm the one with a stable government job and a 401K.
I've been paying my own way on my own for a decade.
Until last week, you've been living with your family.
- To avoid debt while in school.
- Which your dad pays for! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: This is going downhill fast.
Look, I have been financially responsible my entire life.
You know that I helped support my family.
(phone chiming) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She does need the money.
I have to go back to work.
Can you Stay with Mateo? Yeah.
See ya.
So what changed with the staff? Just didn't make sense.
What if we all got fired? We need the money.
It's not like we do this job for fun.
(clears throat) At ease.
So you decided to show up.
Yes.
And look I am sorry about last night.
Oh, you mean when you suggested that my girlfriend was only with me because I was blackmailing her? Look, I didn't mean LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, still got nothing.
You meant it.
How would you like it if I tried to ruin one of your relationships? Lina, you cash that check yet? Oops, I'm sorry.
Did I just ruin one? You took Scott's bribe? It's an extra thousand dollars a month.
I know.
I turned it down because of all that crap you gave me about whose side I was on.
- Jane - I don't even want to hear it.
Oh, the pink, I love it.
So classy.
Thank you again for going with Amanda.
Yeah, well, thank you, too, for babysitting.
It's my pleasure.
We're going to have fun.
Just so you know, the word âbabysitâ is a trigger for me.
I-I had my first drink with a babysitter.
- I know a lot about addiction.
- Really? - Are you in AA? - No.
I am in S.
A.
G.
Otherwise known as Screen Actors Guild.
And I once played an alcoholic flight attendant in the telenovela Addicted To Love.
Would you like to see it? XIOMARA: I recorded your novela.
Gracias.
You were so proud of me and so into the idea of me as a banker.
Jane thought the bank was a horrible idea.
Why didn't you just tell me how you feel? Try harder.
Ma there's no way we're going back.
I'm not 17 anymore.
I know I need your opinions so I don't make dumbass moves like moving my whole dance class schedule to become a bank teller.
(chuckles) You guys got this.
(sighs) Good advice.
And Ma Hmm? You do have your green card now.
If you hate your job so much, you could make a change.
ROGELIO: But it was too late.
They had found each other.
(gasps) (women shouting) (both shouting) Classic catfight.
Every telenovela has one.
And then we all make love.
Is this helping at all? (sighs) No.
If anything, seeing you chug that tiny bottle of vodka when you realized that it was Pilar that hit the attendant call button just makes me want to drink more.
Okay, I get it.
Well, in that case, we have to get to the root of those feelings.
Did you study psychology? You could say that.
What school of thought? Meisner.
I've never heard of him.
Where does he practice? In the heart of such performers as Sandra Bullock, Tom Cruise, and James Franco.
All of whom have used his techniques to get underneath emotions.
I'll say a phrase, let's say, "âYou're an alcoholicâ" and then you'll repeat it, but with âIâ.
"âI'm an alcoholicâ" I'm an alcoholic.
You're an alcoholic.
I'm an alcoholic.
One more, yes, please.
Actually, I really should be turning in.
Oh, no.
Oh, it's only 9:00.
I hardly got to talk to you at the event.
- Yeah.
- Why are you playing so hard to get? I'm not.
Though, that's exactly what you'd say if you were.
LUISA: I don't like this.
- You don't like this.
- I'm not good at this.
- You're not good at this.
- I'm not good at this.
- You're not good at this.
- I'm not good - I'm not good.
- That's it.
Keep going.
- I'm not good.
- Find your character.
I'm a terrible sister and that's why I want to drink, so that I don't feel this.
Why are you terrible? Because all I do is cause Rafael pain.
(whispering): And I think my ex-lover killed his mother.
I've been there.
In real life.
My telenovela was ripped from the headlines.
Go on.
I just feel so bad, you know? My brother doesn't deserve this.
No matter how many times I've failed him, he's always been there for me.
And then now that he has no family, I still can't pull it together and be there for him.
Rafael does have a family the Villanueva family.
As for you Ricardo said it best when he was about to join the mile-high club with Pilar during heavy turbulence.
âPut on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.
â She's asleep.
And we've decided she's going to rehab.
Preventative.
Really? And may I just say you're a good, good man, Rafael Solano.
And I'm sorry I didn't realize that earlier.
It's okay.
But I do think I should tell you I don't think you're gonna get that part.
It doesn't matter.
You're more important.
Come.
Let's get a drink.
We can, you know, because we are not alcoholics, thank God.
Another blessing we share, besides our great looks.
(chuckles) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, birds of a feather which brings us here now to the flamingo fandango! Look at you two, all buddy-buddy.
Why did you never tell me what a wonderful man Rafael is? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And maybe it was the sight of her daddy and baby daddy getting along, or the fact that she was fighting with her best friend and her husband but when Jane saw Petra well she was determined to make things right.
Hey.
Did you sell the hotel? I'm working on it.
But, uh, it's not enough time.
- It has to be.
- It's not! Just tell my mother, I it-it's happening, okay? I-I-I got her a lawyer.
I Okay, I-I know this is a lot to ask Just leave me alone! (shouts) (gasps) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow! Straight out of a telenovela.
So, yeah, that obviously didn't happen.
Oh, sorry, my bad.
It actually did.
That's it! We're out of each other's lives for good! So, thank you for having my back.
Always, you know that.
Okay, about the money.
Things are different now.
It's not the same as when we were kids.
I mean, you have a rich dad, and a rich baby daddy to fall back on and I-I don't have that.
Yeah.
That's true.
Michael reminded me of that.
I guess it's just all so new, I-I forget.
I think we should move into a smaller place.
I grew up stressed about money.
And living above our means is stressing us out now.
And I don't want that for us or Mateo.
I was thinking the same thing.
Not about childhood, but about Spotify - and lattes, and - (chuckles) I just want us to be able to have fun.
Exactly, me, too.
We'll move into a one bedroom.
We only have Mateo half the time.
Perfect.
We'll just move back to a bigger place when we can afford it.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And friends, they really believed that would happen but we're not there yet.
We're here.
So, this isn't a housewarming anymore.
It's a good-bye party.
ALL: Salud! (chuckles) Oh! - Huh? - What? No way.
That's perfect for you.
Oh, Ma.
You really do love that little store.
Mm-hmm.
So, I didn't get the part.
That's the way the cookie crumbled.
I'm sorry, Rogelio.
I know you really wanted it.
So, uh, so, what's next on the 87-point plan for, uh American superstardom? I'm glad you asked.
My new friend, Rafael, got me a meeting with his friend, an independent film producer.
Oh.
Come on, Michael.
Don't be jealous.
I can be friends with both of you.
Oh, I'm I'm not jealous.
Rafael and I, we're cool.
Sorry, excuse me.
Come on.
Don't shut me out.
Hey, hey, looking good, my friend.
Ah, we miss you down at the station.
(sighs) Eager to get back.
Two weeks until my physical.
So Rafael told me Luisa left for rehab.
Yeah, this morning.
We've got eyes on her.
If she contacts Rose, we'll know.
Good.
Anything new in the Bible? DENNIS: They combed through it page by page.
Four underlined words from four different passages.
âAngels guard the sun.
â LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: What the hell does that mean? âSunâ like or like her son? Look, realistically, I need more time.
Well, you don't have more time.
I'll find another buyer, Milos perhaps.
You can't sell your shares without my permission.
Then give me permission.
And your shares too, while you're at it.
What? Or I'll send you to jail.
What are you talking about? You had a deal with the police.
You confessed to insider trading.
They dropped the charges with the assumption that you had no other illegal dealings, right? However, when your father died, his finances were a mess, weren't they? An illegal mess, in fact.
You covered it up.
How did you ? Scott befriended the accountant's assistant.
Never overlook the little guy.
Look, I was protecting my father's legacy.
Which was a big mistake.
And I will tell the cops, unless you sign your shares over to me.
You have 24 hours.
Don't test me.
(shrieks) Oh, you-you startled me.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And friends, in that moment, Jane, well, she had a revelation.
(sighing): I still can't believe they're together.
Look, I-I know things have been complicated between us.
A house isn't exactly a little something.
Hi.
(shrieks) You okay? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And all I can say is This might sound crazy, but I don't think that's Petra.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: It's about damn time.
And our Jane has a brand-new house.
And a brand-new relationship with her baby daddy.
Now that I'm no longer in love with you, we've entered a new phase of our relationship.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of changes, her mom was considering giving up singing for a new career.
Oh, and Rafael's ex-wife, Petra, changed too.
See, last year she did something nice and subsidized - Jane's new house.
- Do they have any idea I'm the owner? - They have no idea.
- Since then, her sister, Anezka, had paralyzed her and taken her place.
No boys, sweetheart.
You need to stay focused.
But she couldn't because she fell in love with Scott, the manager of the Marbella Lounge.
And Rafael's sister, Luisa, had a change of heart and said goodbye to her great love, Rose.
Otherwise known as the crime lord Sin Rostro.
- And Derek? - He's dead.
He was on her list.
- Along with your mom.
- Wait, my mom's not dead.
I know, straight out of a telenovela, right? Well, imagine this, Jane's father was a telenovela star.
And he was intent on raising his profile in America.
And, oh, yeah, one last big change, our Jane was no longer a virgin.
- Whoo! - So, yeah, things are different all right.
Over the years, there have been a few times when Jane almost left the nest.
She almost left for love - Shh! - Her mother's, but still Janie, you're gonna love it.
He has his own pool, and you'll have your own bathroom.
Abuela, come on, she's sad.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She almost left because of anger.
XIOMARA: What, you'll kick me out? Do it and I'll take Jane with me! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She almost left for school.
- - Bye Ma! Yes, all right, I promise.
(squeals) Bye! I couldn't sign the housing contract.
We live 20 minutes away, I'd save so much money.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Until one day, she left for real.
So cute.
I hope they get the house done on time.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And I'm not gonna lie.
It felt different.
Excited to dive in, find myself a career.
Ah.
Mm? Is this from the Marbella gift shop? - And you missed Jane.
- (sighs) It's okay.
I miss her too.
JANE: Yup.
Called it.
First two RSVPs, Mom and Abuela.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, good, there's Jane! I was missing her too.
Okay, don't hate me.
I think the wall wants to be a shade lighter Oh, my God, yes, I was thinking the same thing too, but I didn't want to say anything.
No, we want it to be perfect.
Let's repaint this afternoon.
Eggshell or matte? Eggshell.
And can I just say You sound so sexy when you talk home decor.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
'Cause I was thinking about a mirror - (softly): Stop it.
- in the entryway Keep talking.
- A bowl of lemons - Uh-huh.
- (moans) - on the table for a pop of color.
- Just take off your pants right now.
- They're coming off.
Oh, shoot, my dad's gonna be here soon! So no? So hurry! (Jane moaning) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yup.
Things are different all right.
JANE: I'm coming, I'm coming! (gasps) Hey, Dad.
Mateo should be up from his nap And I am gonna go change 'cause I'm running late.
No, wait, wait, wait! Guess who I have a very special meeting with tomorrow.
Amanda from my writers' group? But more importantly, Amanda the author of It's being made into a Hallmark Christmas movie.
You could be looking at Logan McMurray, widowed, devastatingly handsome baker! Just don't wear those overalls.
Of course not, mine would be much more fitted.
Anyway, this could be the perfect role to raise my American profile.
And hopefully, at the end of our meeting (chuckles) Amanda will agree.
Dad you're not planning on sleeping with her to get the part, are you? No, of course not.
I wouldn't do that.
Again.
Good, just making sure.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of sexy times Oh, oh, God, look, Petra, babe, I got to go.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To remind you, that was not Petra.
I just can't help myself, you're just so handsome.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Obviously.
(both moaning) You'll recall we left these two considering blackmail.
I've got dirt on everyone at the Marbella.
Including good stuff on Rafael.
So let's take him down together, baby.
Mm.
Mm.
But listen first we've got to turn this hotel around.
'Cause money's tied up in it, and it's a ghost town.
Which brings us here, now.
Okay, just be prepared The staff isn't going to like it.
Oh, don't worry.
Last week, I threatened to cancel Jane's mom's gig unless she publicly backed the Flamingo Initiative.
What the hell is the Flamingo Initiative? So, guys, we're damn near sold out for our first theme night Flamingo Friday.
Ladies your outfits.
- - WOMEN: Ugh WOMAN: What? Oh, wow.
How fun.
Super fun.
Exactly.
Thank you, Jane.
Guys, we're just going no shirts, pink bowties.
Just really classic sexy.
On to other orders of business.
We're phasing out bussers in the afternoon, so shifts are gonna be 45 minutes longer.
- Wait, what? - Don't gripe.
It's economical.
You'll make more bank.
No, we won't.
Because service will be terrible.
Well, it's happening.
Deal with it.
This is ridiculous.
You need to talk to your baby daddy.
Lina, his mother just died.
- Fine.
Your sister wife.
- You need to, 'cause her creepy boy toy's out of control.
(sighs) Sorry, Scott's the boss of the lounge.
Take it up with him, not me.
Petra, come on.
Can't we talk about it? No.
Look, I-I know things have been complicated between us.
Because of what I said you know, when we fought before the wedding.
A reminder: Anezka has no idea what she's talking about.
Yes.
Exactly.
And I get that.
I-I do.
I mean, it was awful of me to imply that I think that I'm a better person than you.
Even just hearing it again is a shock.
Yeah, but you remember what was going on.
- Not a clue.
- Of course.
And I don't want to rehash it.
So let's just steer clear of each other.
- What? - Do I have to be explicit, Jane? I don't like you.
I never have liked you.
Our babies share a father.
That's it.
Okay, you know what? Fine with me.
I'm done trying with you.
You're toxic.
DENNIS: Poison.
Most likely administered transdermally.
- (camera shutter clicking) - Could've been someone who bumped into your mother Got it.
I appreciate the update.
Anything come to mind at all, why she would - leave you that Bible? - No idea.
My mother wasn't religious.
She was a homicidal maniac.
I'm sorry, I just want to put this whole thing behind me.
I didn't know her.
I had no relationship with her.
And it's painful, frankly.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You'll recall Luisa recently returned from a submarine with another homicidal maniac.
It's actually not painful.
I'm fine, okay? Okay.
MICHAEL: Okay what do you think? I think it's perfect.
I love our house.
Me, too.
Me, three! What about you, Mateo? Hmm? You excited to grow up here? Listen to stories in that room Come in late, after curfew, through that door (laughs): Hey! MAN: Okay, you guys are gonna feel right at home here.
Excuse me, what are you doing barging into our house? Yeah, this definitely isn't your house.
- Who the hell are you people? - Uh! Okay, do not swear in front of my baby! - Now, what the hell is going on? - I manage this property.
And we rent this property.
Then how come I have no idea who you are? We put off moving here because my husband - was in the hospital.
- (man clears throat) If the place isn't for rent, - should we ? - No, it is for rent.
Come on in.
Come on in.
Have a look around.
As you can see, it's freshly painted.
JANE: No, do not look around.
- And that fresh paint is ours! - Okay, look, there's obviously been a mix-up.
We signed a lease.
This is our realtor.
(laughs): Yeah.
I know this guy.
Reps a couple of deadbeats who stopped paying last month.
Oh, that's you guys.
We are not deadbeats.
I personally pay a thousand dollars a month.
Well, first of all, rent is 2,000 bucks.
What?! That's not what he told us.
Okay.
Please, just give us a couple of days to figure this out, okay? You know where we live.
(chuckles) So until recently, someone has been covering half our rent but keeping it a secret? Who would do that? Nah, it wasn't me.
He says it wasn't him.
So who would Nope, not me.
But if you need me to Oh, no, no, no, no.
Amanda's coming.
Good luck.
Tell her I said hi.
No offense, but you're not really a value-add.
(sighs) Amanda.
(whispers): Wow! How fun it's been catching up and hearing all about your jet-set life But you want to talk about the movie.
Well, I'm here, which means that you're in the running.
Well, in that case, how do I get to the finish line? That's your daughter's boyfriend, right? Huh? (laughs) ROGELIO: Oh.
Rafael? Ex.
He's a real cutie.
Is he? Huh.
Anyway, back to Sprinkled With Love.
The way I see it, the cookie is a metaphor I have a charity event in Coral Gables.
Nothing would give me more pleasure than to have a gorgeous man on my arm.
- I wanted to ask you - I'm in.
But now I'm thinking Rafael.
Excuse me? It would make me very happy.
And those vicious charity bitches very jealous.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Tough choice.
On the one hand, he's just been insulted to his core.
On the other hand .
(dings) Of course.
I'd like nothing more than to set you up with my gorgeous friend.
(elevator doors close) It is true.
You are extremely handsome.
I never noticed before.
Can I help you with something? Swoon-worthy looks and endlessly generous.
You are a prince among men, Rafael Solano, which is one of many reasons I consider you to be a very good friend.
What do you want, Rogelio? The woman I was eating lunch with will decide my American fate.
Either she will cast me as a stoic, sexy baker or I will wallow away in obscurity.
And all she requires is a date with you.
(chuckles) Are you trying to pimp me out? Absolutely not! No sex required.
Though if the spirit moves you (laughs) The answer's no.
(elevator doors open) JANE: Still no word from the realtor? (sighs) Well, keep trying.
I got to go before I drop these stupid flamingos.
Abuela? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ooh! I love the Marbella - Gift Shop.
- Sorry, World's Worst Boss is demanding that we stock the new flamingo merch ASAP, - and prominently.
- Take me home, Alba.
I don't pay you to visit your granddaughter.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Looks like Jane may not have the world's worst boss after all.
JORGE: You have to hear this.
Magical.
Clearest ocean sound you ever heard.
Come on.
What are you doing here? Aw.
- I miss you too, so, so much.
- Oh I wish I didn't have to go back to work.
Mwah.
Gracias.
I got a job! No, listen! I'm a teller at Sunrise Mutual West Miami! I get a 401k, regular 40 hours a week, and a parking space that says âReserved for bank employee.
â Which will be great once I can afford to get a car! I'll have to switch my dance class to weekends but that's okay, and (gasps) look.
New outfits.
Xiomara Abuela.
Be supportive.
- (exhales) - XIOMARA: I'm not looking for passion.
I'm still singing on weekends.
LINA: Whoa, slow down.
I forgot to give you the list of demands to sign.
List of demands? âFrom servers to management, "or else we walkâ" A walkout? Scott is a dictator.
A revolution is afoot.
Conditions are untenable.
Come on.
If you don't sign, I learned the word âuntenableâ for nothing.
- We're all in the same boat, right? - Yeah.
Okay, I'll sign, but I'm gonna give Rafael a heads up.
See? Right there, where I wrote âhereby and heretofore.
â (quietly): That's right.
Oh, my God.
The realtor.
I've been trying to reach this guy but he hasn't been returning my calls.
Need to talk to Petra Solano, where do I find her? Excuse me.
Jason Tartuffe? Oops.
Wrong hotel, never mind.
No, stop.
I heard you asking for Petra Solano! Stop! I'm the wife of a cop and I will arrest you! Is that a real thing? - LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Definitely not.
- Oh, it's a real thing.
Now, answer the question.
Why are you looking for Petra? Look, she paid me to keep quiet, but she's the one who's paying half your rent.
- What? - Or she was.
I'm out several months in commissions.
She won't return my phone calls.
It was Petra? I just found out what you did for Michael and me, with the house.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Again, I'll remind you that Anezka has no idea what she's talking about.
Oh.
Well, you're welcome.
A-A gift like that No, it was just a little something A house isn't exactly a little something! Well, by my standards, it's a very small house.
But yes, you caught me, I bought you the house.
Well, you mean rented.
It's the same word in Czech.
Anyway, let's not make a big deal of it, I was making a gesture, and you're - very welcome.
- Got it.
You know a-and this is awkward, uh but why did you suddenly stop the payments? That terrible fight.
When you called me a bad person.
I was I was so angry.
And then I meant to start paying again but Anezka fell ill Well, look.
Michael and I obviously can't let you pay for it.
But the gesture was so kind.
(chuckles) Come over to the new house for dinner.
Oh You wouldn't have done it if you didn't care, deep down.
Doesn't makes sense.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And so what could she say, but Of course.
Scott and I would be happy to come for dinner.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And what could she say but Right.
Scott too! Great! Can't wait! Hey.
Hey.
Are the girls asleep? You can go, then.
(beeping) Hello, Anezka.
(shrieks) We need to talk.
Who are you? Your mommy's friend from the inside.
Out on good behavior, but don't let that fool you.
I'm here to relay a message from her.
You guys had a plan.
Finish it.
But now's not a good time to sell my shares at the hotel.
Like, they'll be worth more if build it up, wait a bit, uh - Flamingo Friday - I don't give a rat's ass! You've got 72 hours to sell and get her a good lawyer, or else I make sure everybody knows exactly who you are.
Got it? MICHAEL: Petra? She and the vests guy are gonna be our first and last dinner guests? Come on, it was so nice of her.
And maybe they won't be our last dinner guests.
I mean, I've been thinking.
If we cut corners here and there, maybe we can stay.
That's your filing system? Well, this and the other box, yeah.
First things first.
Fixed expenses: - rent, food, gas, internet.
- My student loans.
I thought you paid it off.
One.
I found out the other has another two years.
- LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Found out? - All right.
So, let's list all other expenses, and then we'll start cutting.
No way, I need my NBA sports package.
You don't need it.
Have you ever heard of a library? I like to underline things.
Okay, fine.
(pained): No more buying books.
$170 for Mateo's Toddler Gym? I'm assuming that comes with illicit baby steroids.
Yeah.
Rafael pays for so much Mateo stuff.
I have to cover something.
Spotify or Pandora? One movie a month? - Lost it.
- Cut it.
Done.
And with this new budget we are (hits a key, cash register sound) still $280 short per month.
(crickets chirping outside) We'll sleep on it.
(Michael sighs) I think we should go to my dad.
$280 a month is not a huge ask - Really? - It'll be a loan.
We'll absolutely pay him back.
I love this place.
Let's do it.
While we're on the topic of doing it LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw, you can't put a price on that kind of happiness.
I need to withdraw $5 million.
Can you help me with that? Sure.
I'd be happy to.
CUSTOMER: I'm buying a yacht.
And, uh I would love to take you on it.
(chuckles) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So yeah.
Obviously, that didn't happen.
30 - (sighs) - 35 40.
These bills are sticking together! You asked for crisp, new ones, so Because they're for my grandson's birthday! You need to fan 'em out first.
Yeah, okay.
Well, next time.
(groans) You forgot to say âThank you for choosing "Sunrise Mutual West Miami for your financial needsâ" - And that's pretty important.
- Got it.
"Like, okay.
You're saying âgot itâ" But you said that last time.
And then you forgot again.
Well, this time I really got it.
Mm.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.
Someone made a big mistake.
ANEZKA: I'd like to sell my share of the hotel.
- What? - And I I know - it seems sudden.
- Yeah.
Of course it's sudden.
You've been driving up all these big changes - and now you want to sell? Why? - Because of Scott, actually.
It's not good for our relationship for me to be - working so closely with you.
- I am not interested Yes, I know.
You made that very clear.
Nevertheless, there is a lot of baggage here.
- And we'd like to make a fresh start.
- You know you need permission - from me and Luisa to sell.
- Yes.
I know.
And if you don't give it to me LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She'll blackmail you - with all of Scott's dirt! - Look, first, let me just see if I can put some money together to buy you out.
Oh.
Yeah, that-that would work.
RAFAEL: And then she told me I had 48 hours, which is crazy.
I think there's something going on.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yes, finally! - Like what? - She's not herself.
- LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Warmer.
- I think Scott's blackmailing her.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Are you serious? - Are you serious? - Well, it happened with Milos.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Colder! Colder! I mean, I'm having dinner with them tonight.
I'll suss out the vibe.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, whatever.
I'm not gonna get my hopes up.
Oh, before I go From my dad.
JANE: It was so awkward.
But I couldn't say no to my dad.
Oh, yeah, I hear you.
Cost of doing business.
I had to meet him for a guilt mani-pedi today.
I'm sorry, I can't watch this.
(laughs) Show off.
Michael! We agreed no more venti lattes.
Okay, I was in a hurry.
The drive-thru was right there.
The budget only works if we both stick to it.
Oh, yeah? That doesn't look like two-buck Chuck.
That's different, it's for Petra, who did a really nice thing for us.
Besides, it comes out of the entertainment budget.
We'll just not see a movie this month.
Fine.
Then I'd like my non-movie to count towards my coffee.
You can't do that.
Your latte is not entertainment.
That's not true.
I had a good time, okay? (doorbell rings) Better than I'm gonna have at this weird dinner party.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us here, now, to the Is that dressing gluten-free? I'll check.
Thanks.
Oh, no red for me.
I get heartburn.
Do you have any white? Yeah.
Babe, be reasonable.
Now is not a good time to sell.
I just want out.
Flamingo Friday's booked solid.
We're turning the hotel around.
The staff is planning a walkout.
No gluten.
Yay! (phone chimes) It was so great.
It's just the door on your left.
Let's make a deal.
Before you go to the bathroom? Petra told me about your financial predicament.
That extra grand a month you need? What if the hotel covered the discrepancy? We'll make it an official position Social Ambassador And all you have to do is get the rest of the staff to show up for Flamingo Friday and support our other initiatives.
You're offering me money to sell out my friends.
Oh, get off your pedestal, Jane.
Everyone's for sale.
Well, I'm not.
Your loss.
I'm sorry, I just have to ask.
You and Scott, is it a Milos situation? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: To be clear, Anezka did know all about Milos.
You think I'm with Scott because he's blackmailing me? No, I just meant, um LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I got nothing.
That's exactly what she meant.
This is why I don't want to spend any time with you.
This is why I want out of here, this judgment! - No.
- What's going on, babe? We're leaving, that's what's going on.
Right now! I feel terrible.
I have to find some way - to make it up to her.
- Or not.
I mean, she's clearly trying to distance herself.
- But she's family.
- Family's overrated.
They just ask you to do things, like go to weird charity events so their dad can be in sexy baker movies.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes, that old chestnut.
Did I thank you profusely? You did.
JANE: Okay, I have to get back to my shift.
And you're sure you're okay with the walkout? Are you kidding? I hate this whole flamingo thing.
- (doorbell rings) - I'll talk to you later.
I've been looking for you.
I was hoping we could talk? I told you, I am fine.
No, um I'm not.
I'm sorry, I just I came from the police station, and talking about Rose again and what happened, and going over the details, I'm feeling a little unhinged.
Like I got Like, I need to drink.
Um, so I just thought, that, um, it was better that I wasn't alone.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Um, I just have this charity thing later.
I could come.
Hey! Ma, you scared the crap out of me.
Wait, why aren't you at work? I quit.
I had to.
It was so depressing.
Please, don't tell Abuela.
She was so proud of me.
She's gonna find out eventually.
No, I worked it out.
I find a new job, and then I tell her I was so good I got poached.
Well, start your job hunt somewhere else.
I gotta go.
The wait staff is meeting downstairs before the big walkout.
Okay.
Good luck.
Power to the people.
ALBA: Xiomara? Oh, hi, Ma.
Thought I dropped an earring back here.
The other day.
Anyway, it's not there.
I should go, uh, I've got about ten minutes of break left.
Um, okay.
Thanks.
Just drop me outside.
XIOMARA: Ma, there's nothing really exciting in here.
But Mrs.
Cohen looks tired.
Eh, I need cash.
Hey buzz me in, all right? I forgot my phone in the break room.
I I'm sorry, but you're no longer an employee.
Come on, Caitlyn, do me a solid.
- Security? - I bought you a venti latte! Ma'am? I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Xiomara? I quit, Ma, okay? I quit.
JANE: What's wrong? So I made some calls today, trying to save some money.
Got us a family plan for the cell phones, better rates on car insurance.
That's great.
I also called Mateo's gym class.
Yeah, I was a little surprised when they told me the monthly fees were already covered by Rafael.
I thought there must be some kind of mistake.
My wife would never lie to me about something like that.
I'm sorry.
I padded the budget.
You know, just in case we need money for an emergency.
Look, I grew up always worried about money.
So tell me, don't hide it from me like I'm a child.
You have a shoebox for your files.
Okay to be clear, I'm the one with a stable government job and a 401K.
I've been paying my own way on my own for a decade.
Until last week, you've been living with your family.
- To avoid debt while in school.
- Which your dad pays for! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: This is going downhill fast.
Look, I have been financially responsible my entire life.
You know that I helped support my family.
(phone chiming) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She does need the money.
I have to go back to work.
Can you Stay with Mateo? Yeah.
See ya.
So what changed with the staff? Just didn't make sense.
What if we all got fired? We need the money.
It's not like we do this job for fun.
(clears throat) At ease.
So you decided to show up.
Yes.
And look I am sorry about last night.
Oh, you mean when you suggested that my girlfriend was only with me because I was blackmailing her? Look, I didn't mean LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, still got nothing.
You meant it.
How would you like it if I tried to ruin one of your relationships? Lina, you cash that check yet? Oops, I'm sorry.
Did I just ruin one? You took Scott's bribe? It's an extra thousand dollars a month.
I know.
I turned it down because of all that crap you gave me about whose side I was on.
- Jane - I don't even want to hear it.
Oh, the pink, I love it.
So classy.
Thank you again for going with Amanda.
Yeah, well, thank you, too, for babysitting.
It's my pleasure.
We're going to have fun.
Just so you know, the word âbabysitâ is a trigger for me.
I-I had my first drink with a babysitter.
- I know a lot about addiction.
- Really? - Are you in AA? - No.
I am in S.
A.
G.
Otherwise known as Screen Actors Guild.
And I once played an alcoholic flight attendant in the telenovela Addicted To Love.
Would you like to see it? XIOMARA: I recorded your novela.
Gracias.
You were so proud of me and so into the idea of me as a banker.
Jane thought the bank was a horrible idea.
Why didn't you just tell me how you feel? Try harder.
Ma there's no way we're going back.
I'm not 17 anymore.
I know I need your opinions so I don't make dumbass moves like moving my whole dance class schedule to become a bank teller.
(chuckles) You guys got this.
(sighs) Good advice.
And Ma Hmm? You do have your green card now.
If you hate your job so much, you could make a change.
ROGELIO: But it was too late.
They had found each other.
(gasps) (women shouting) (both shouting) Classic catfight.
Every telenovela has one.
And then we all make love.
Is this helping at all? (sighs) No.
If anything, seeing you chug that tiny bottle of vodka when you realized that it was Pilar that hit the attendant call button just makes me want to drink more.
Okay, I get it.
Well, in that case, we have to get to the root of those feelings.
Did you study psychology? You could say that.
What school of thought? Meisner.
I've never heard of him.
Where does he practice? In the heart of such performers as Sandra Bullock, Tom Cruise, and James Franco.
All of whom have used his techniques to get underneath emotions.
I'll say a phrase, let's say, "âYou're an alcoholicâ" and then you'll repeat it, but with âIâ.
"âI'm an alcoholicâ" I'm an alcoholic.
You're an alcoholic.
I'm an alcoholic.
One more, yes, please.
Actually, I really should be turning in.
Oh, no.
Oh, it's only 9:00.
I hardly got to talk to you at the event.
- Yeah.
- Why are you playing so hard to get? I'm not.
Though, that's exactly what you'd say if you were.
LUISA: I don't like this.
- You don't like this.
- I'm not good at this.
- You're not good at this.
- I'm not good at this.
- You're not good at this.
- I'm not good - I'm not good.
- That's it.
Keep going.
- I'm not good.
- Find your character.
I'm a terrible sister and that's why I want to drink, so that I don't feel this.
Why are you terrible? Because all I do is cause Rafael pain.
(whispering): And I think my ex-lover killed his mother.
I've been there.
In real life.
My telenovela was ripped from the headlines.
Go on.
I just feel so bad, you know? My brother doesn't deserve this.
No matter how many times I've failed him, he's always been there for me.
And then now that he has no family, I still can't pull it together and be there for him.
Rafael does have a family the Villanueva family.
As for you Ricardo said it best when he was about to join the mile-high club with Pilar during heavy turbulence.
âPut on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.
â She's asleep.
And we've decided she's going to rehab.
Preventative.
Really? And may I just say you're a good, good man, Rafael Solano.
And I'm sorry I didn't realize that earlier.
It's okay.
But I do think I should tell you I don't think you're gonna get that part.
It doesn't matter.
You're more important.
Come.
Let's get a drink.
We can, you know, because we are not alcoholics, thank God.
Another blessing we share, besides our great looks.
(chuckles) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, birds of a feather which brings us here now to the flamingo fandango! Look at you two, all buddy-buddy.
Why did you never tell me what a wonderful man Rafael is? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And maybe it was the sight of her daddy and baby daddy getting along, or the fact that she was fighting with her best friend and her husband but when Jane saw Petra well she was determined to make things right.
Hey.
Did you sell the hotel? I'm working on it.
But, uh, it's not enough time.
- It has to be.
- It's not! Just tell my mother, I it-it's happening, okay? I-I-I got her a lawyer.
I Okay, I-I know this is a lot to ask Just leave me alone! (shouts) (gasps) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow! Straight out of a telenovela.
So, yeah, that obviously didn't happen.
Oh, sorry, my bad.
It actually did.
That's it! We're out of each other's lives for good! So, thank you for having my back.
Always, you know that.
Okay, about the money.
Things are different now.
It's not the same as when we were kids.
I mean, you have a rich dad, and a rich baby daddy to fall back on and I-I don't have that.
Yeah.
That's true.
Michael reminded me of that.
I guess it's just all so new, I-I forget.
I think we should move into a smaller place.
I grew up stressed about money.
And living above our means is stressing us out now.
And I don't want that for us or Mateo.
I was thinking the same thing.
Not about childhood, but about Spotify - and lattes, and - (chuckles) I just want us to be able to have fun.
Exactly, me, too.
We'll move into a one bedroom.
We only have Mateo half the time.
Perfect.
We'll just move back to a bigger place when we can afford it.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And friends, they really believed that would happen but we're not there yet.
We're here.
So, this isn't a housewarming anymore.
It's a good-bye party.
ALL: Salud! (chuckles) Oh! - Huh? - What? No way.
That's perfect for you.
Oh, Ma.
You really do love that little store.
Mm-hmm.
So, I didn't get the part.
That's the way the cookie crumbled.
I'm sorry, Rogelio.
I know you really wanted it.
So, uh, so, what's next on the 87-point plan for, uh American superstardom? I'm glad you asked.
My new friend, Rafael, got me a meeting with his friend, an independent film producer.
Oh.
Come on, Michael.
Don't be jealous.
I can be friends with both of you.
Oh, I'm I'm not jealous.
Rafael and I, we're cool.
Sorry, excuse me.
Come on.
Don't shut me out.
Hey, hey, looking good, my friend.
Ah, we miss you down at the station.
(sighs) Eager to get back.
Two weeks until my physical.
So Rafael told me Luisa left for rehab.
Yeah, this morning.
We've got eyes on her.
If she contacts Rose, we'll know.
Good.
Anything new in the Bible? DENNIS: They combed through it page by page.
Four underlined words from four different passages.
âAngels guard the sun.
â LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: What the hell does that mean? âSunâ like or like her son? Look, realistically, I need more time.
Well, you don't have more time.
I'll find another buyer, Milos perhaps.
You can't sell your shares without my permission.
Then give me permission.
And your shares too, while you're at it.
What? Or I'll send you to jail.
What are you talking about? You had a deal with the police.
You confessed to insider trading.
They dropped the charges with the assumption that you had no other illegal dealings, right? However, when your father died, his finances were a mess, weren't they? An illegal mess, in fact.
You covered it up.
How did you ? Scott befriended the accountant's assistant.
Never overlook the little guy.
Look, I was protecting my father's legacy.
Which was a big mistake.
And I will tell the cops, unless you sign your shares over to me.
You have 24 hours.
Don't test me.
(shrieks) Oh, you-you startled me.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And friends, in that moment, Jane, well, she had a revelation.
(sighing): I still can't believe they're together.
Look, I-I know things have been complicated between us.
A house isn't exactly a little something.
Hi.
(shrieks) You okay? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And all I can say is This might sound crazy, but I don't think that's Petra.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: It's about damn time.