Magnum, P.I. (1980) s03e04 Episode Script
The Eighth Part of the Village
Do yourself a favor, Higgins.
Call her dad and send her home.
I'm standing here.
Hello! - How many? - Two.
A band of two villains? Is there anything else you would like? Don't do that.
I am not in the mood for a jail term today.
- You were meant to kill me? - Nothing personal.
- No hard feelings, right? - Wrong.
Whatever else Sato may have become, he's not a cold-blooded murderer.
Closer, T.
C.
Fate has a nasty way of popping up and waggling its long, bony finger under your nose.
Sometimes it's a squeaker at 70 miles an hour.
Or a plane you missed that never makes it back from the Bermuda Triangle.
But whatever it is, you always get the message.
It's time to stop taking your good luck for granted.
Morning, Higgins.
Guys.
Something wrong? Simply put, you are not qualified for this work.
Gee, Higgins, I don't think that's very nice.
Look at my rows.
They're even, they overlap.
I know how to mow a yard.
To the untrained eye this may appear to be just another suburban lawn.
But we are standing on a scientifically formulated carpet of bahÃa, Kentucky bluegrass and an African zoysia.
One doesn't just mow it.
Gee, Higgins.
I was just trying to do you a favor.
I hope it can be saved.
You were cutting at least 30 degrees against the grain.
Favor? Well, I figured it was time I paid back some of the favors that I owe everybody.
Even the score, balance my karma.
You know what I mean? Assuming you had some grasp of a subtle Eastern concept like karma I'm serious.
Make me a list of the favors I owe you and I'll take care of them.
I already have a list.
What I don't have is a reason to believe you.
You know that case I had? The guy from Maui who couldn't live unless I found his wife for him? I'm not interested in listening to another of your tawdry divorce cases.
Well, I found her.
In some kootch joint on Hotel Street.
It was a heart-warming reunion.
She had a gun, he had a gun and I had the hiccups for six hours after the shooting.
- A case of hiccups is hardly a revelation.
- No, I'm serious, Higgins.
There I was, right between 'em, and I didn't get a nick.
I think it was some kind of gypsy's warning.
Karma, gypsy warning.
I suppose your horoscope clinched it.
Not my horoscope.
This.
Good God, that's horrible.
What is it? It's a fortune cookie from some takeout Sichuan food after the shooting.
- I thought you had the hiccups.
- Read it.
"A man of good fortune repays his reward.
" I agree.
That's quite a coincidence.
Magnum, are you serious about this? It isn't one of your silly attempts to extract some favor from me? I swear.
There is an errand you might be perfectly qualified to perform.
Thank you.
The only time Higgins ever thinks I'm perfectly qualified for anything is when the thing is too heavy for him to lift.
He could give me all the dirty jobs he could think of.
I was still going to keep my promise.
It was time people remembered they can trust Thomas Sullivan Magnum.
You don't trust me? Me not trust a man who carries around a fortune cookie in his pocket? I'm serious, T.
C.
I'm gonna make it all up to you.
Which is why you need to borrow my van.
No.
You can't very well carry around a 200-pound crate in a Ferrari, can you? Besides, I've got to finish this favor for Higgins before I can do one for you.
Think of everything you want done around here.
Make up a list of the gas bills I owe you.
It's already made up.
I'll wash it and wax it before I bring it back.
I'll clean out those hamburger bags and beer cans in the back.
That's great, considering they're all yours.
- I'll be your driver.
- My what? Your chauffeur for a day in exchange for the van.
- Will you wear a uniform? - Don't push it.
- The keys are in the van.
- Ha! - You won't regret this, T.
C.
- Somehow I regret it already.
Mr.
Akiola, come to receiving.
Max, into the office on the double.
A little help? I could use a hand, somebody.
Get me a forklift on aisle 14.
Hello? Hey! Hey! - Hey! - Hey.
Hey.
No riders, bro.
Union rules.
Not funny.
I could have slipped.
Did you ever think of that? Aisle 23, you're slowing up.
I've seen it happen.
The warehouse is dangerous.
That's why guys like you stay out.
Union rules.
What is this? One crate of books from off the Boku Maru.
That's right.
That's the entry form.
No duty.
- Must be here someplace.
- Could you get it for me, please? You want me to get it? OK.
One brace to the loading dock.
Stack 'em on dock six.
We need a supervisor in aisle 14.
My van's over there.
Sorry.
I can't take it past that line.
- Union - Don't say it.
rules, bro.
Stanley, report to personnel right away.
- Where did you come from? - In here.
OK, son, you wanna tell me what you were doing in that crate? - Hi, guys.
- Why don't you take a hike? - We'll take the kid.
- Wait.
Hold it till somebody tells me what's going on.
We already told you once.
- Please - Go on, get going.
Wasn't very smart.
Well, you know, sometimes I get an impulse.
I gotta go with it.
Go with this.
Don't be afraid.
They're gone.
Thank you, Higgins-san.
Higgins-san? Yeah.
I should have known better than to believe you could manage responsibility for more than a few heartbeats.
After two hours I gave up hope.
After three Relax, Higgins.
I got your package.
Before or after the barroom brawl? There wasn't any barroom brawl.
Not exactly.
Two men attacked me.
Two men attacked you? I trust the books arrived in good condition.
Not exactly.
- You're being intentionally obtuse.
- Obtuse? - Vague.
- I know what it means! Why would two men suddenly attack you over a crate of books? Maybe because there weren't any books in it.
Just her.
This is Higgins-san.
- I am Asani Ozawa.
- I don't care who - Ozawa? - Hai.
Sato Ozawa's daughter? Hai.
Good Lord.
I was aboard the freighter to Hawaii for three weeks.
- You were in that crate for three weeks? - Not all the time.
I paid some of the sailors to help me and bring me food.
They placed my crate where I had good air and I only had to stay inside when the watch would change.
Harrowing ordeal.
I still can't believe your father would keep you a virtual prisoner.
Sato is a rigid man but not cruel.
The pearis have changed him.
He has too much power for one man and he is old.
He understands only the old way.
He forbade me to marry an American and when I disobeyed he drove my husband away with threats.
From that moment he could only think of me as mura hachibu.
Which means? The words mean only to go to the eighth part of the village where no one goes.
But it is more.
Mura hachibu is an extreme form of social censure, a mental banishment.
Although you live and work among other people you are invisible, you don't exist.
That is true.
I could not bear it so I posed as a pearl diver and escaped.
Now I am free but I am in shame.
Sato is the one to be ashamed.
- What is your husband's name? - Roy.
Roy Chambers.
He eluded my father and sent money for my escape to Honolulu.
So why involve Higgins in all this? My father has many allies.
They are certainly looking for me.
Yo-yos at the dock.
Despite all my care, somehow they found me.
You see why I could not risk having Roy pick up the crate.
But it has been said in my family that Higgins-san is a man of honor who could be trusted.
I am deeply touched.
You can have complete faith in our help.
Forget it, Higgins.
You're not volunteering me for this.
Magnum, can't you feel for this girl? Don't you have any sympathy for her plight? Do yourself a favor, Higgins.
Call her dad and send her home.
That would be unthinkable.
She trusts me.
So I heard.
Take my advice.
Do it anyway.
I can think of about eight laws we're breaking by letting her sit there.
Incidentally, she has not been in the hold of a Japanese freighter for three weeks.
How do you know that? Even a cherry blossom wilts after three weeks.
I've considered our arrangement.
What amusing workmanship.
- I suppose you can do better.
- Of course.
I put in a few turns as a batman, you know.
Higgins, I am not going to help you with Little Miss Cherry Blossom.
Asani has been giving me the most frightful account of her dilemma.
Her father had her under guard night and day on some godforsaken atoll.
Refused to acknowledge her marriage.
Nice guy, this friend of yours.
I would have sworn that Sato was incapable of such behavior.
We have a bond dating back good heavens, nearly 40 years.
I can only conclude that time has changed him.
Still, I owe him this much, to see that his daughter is safe and happy.
Higgins, send her home.
Which means taking her back to her husband.
Straightforward under normal circumstances.
Nothing about any of this is normal.
- She jumped out of a crate.
- Unorthodox, I admit.
And then the yo-yos at that moment just happened to show up to jump you, not me.
I'm not admitting you're right but I concede the prudent thing might be to leave Asani here and bring her husband back to Robin's Nest.
- It's still dangerous.
- Precisely why I'm asking for your help.
No.
I understood Asani was the product of an ancient, genteel culture but I was a little surprised when she hesitated to help me locate her husband.
She said she was in my debt and wanted to keep me from getting hurt again, but out of deference to Higgins I insisted and finally she gave me his address.
Only before picking up Roy, the new Magnum had another debt to take care of.
Thanks, Keoki.
Thomas, I want to shake your hand.
For once you made a promise and lived up to it.
- Right on time too.
- Don't overdo it.
It's positive reinforcement, my boy.
I want this to be a pleasant experience.
- This looks like a lot of work.
- And it's just from today.
- These bar bills? - Yep.
Every one hot off a credit card.
Although I hope it's not a hot credit card.
Where's your sense of humor? Sit down, I'll show you the ropes.
You couldn't have picked a better time to start paying back favors.
My book-keeper just quit.
- Why are these things all wet? - I just told you, they're bar bills.
- You are gonna do this for me, aren't you? - Absolutely.
Absolutely.
You didn't happen to check on those two guys who knocked me round the docks? Thomas, you just asked me that an hour ago.
Let me get started with you and I'll make a few calls for you.
This is either a huge bar tab or a girl's phone number.
I can't read any of these.
They're signed by the same drunks who spilled their drinks on them.
- Are you gonna dilly-dally or help me? - Absolutely.
What's the hold-up? I got places to go.
- What's he talking about? - It's complicated.
I had to ask T.
C.
A favor in order to repay a favor to Higgins.
Now I'm paying back T.
C.
, but I'll get to you.
What's he talking about? He is my chauffeur.
He has to drive me any place I wanna go.
No.
He's my book-keeper and I got a ton of work for him.
I'll get to everybody in due time.
In due time, Rick.
Check on those two guys for me, will you? That'll cost you 30 minutes on the adding machine.
- Just put it on my tab.
- It's already put.
Rick, I almost forgot your paper.
Oh, no! I'm sorry.
I should have known this "my driver" deal was a con.
- I drove you, didn't I? - Where you wanted to go.
Relax, T.
C.
We'll just pick this guy up and leave.
Oh, yeah? Ha! If it's so easy, why am I here? Don't do that.
Don't do Look, I I am not in the mood for a jail term today.
He's supposed to be in here.
I just wanna find out why he isn't.
If you get me busted for a B and E, it'll cost you more than a day of chauffeuring.
I just want you to know that.
Check the kitchen.
He's not in there.
- This guy sure must travel light.
- Nobody travels that light.
- Er Thomas.
- I knew something was screwball.
What do you want? There's nothing here to steal.
Unless you're funny for Formica.
- Well - Actually, um Did you want to rent the place? That's it.
A one, maybe two-bedroom.
Nothing fancy.
Wouldn't the fern look lovely in the corner over there? You should have asked to see it first.
It might have been taken.
My place is right downstairs.
It says manager on the door.
That's me.
I'm Mrs.
Cheever.
Well, it's nice to meet you.
This place is just dandy too.
We're surprised it's not already taken.
We thought a friend of ours might have snatched it up.
- Ray Chambers? - You mean Roy Chambers.
- Yeah.
- I haven't seen Roy for a few days.
Now, we get first and last months', plus security, plus We'll take it.
We'll take it.
I'm confident we've encountered a double-blind strategy.
I've used it myself.
Chambers is waiting elsewhere.
Then why didn't that landlady come up with another address or a secret handshake? She was instructed to reveal what she knew only to Asani.
Chambers might have been waiting somewhere nearby.
I say Asani and I go back there now.
No, you don't, Higgins.
It could be a trap.
I told you, he may have moved to elude my father's men.
But I am worried they may have found him already.
The landlady merely said she hadn't seen him.
Forget what she said.
That whole setup was cockeyed.
I got to go back to the docks where we know there's two guys with something to tell us.
- It is too dangerous.
- My dear, that's what we pay him for.
Pay me? A figure of speech.
It was worth remembering that what got me into this whole thing was a fortune cookie.
Unfortunately they don't come with instructions.
No matter what they say, you have to figure out what they really mean on your own.
Which was still the way I felt about Asani.
Anybody here? There's only one problem with asking people questions on the docks.
If they don't know you, they won't tell you.
No good pointing out that if they knew you, chances are you'd know what they know in the first place.
They already know that and they don't care.
The thing I wanted to ask those two thugs, if I could ever find them, was who or what frightened them off.
I like to think I can handle myself but so far things hadn't been very tricky.
Help! Help! Anybody! I'm slipping! It was 1942, summer.
I'd been transferred from North Africa to New Guinea and attached to the Australian Seventh Division.
We were to push the enemy back across the island, across a spine of mountains.
We called it the Kokoda Trail.
Ever heard of it? I have heard of the battles for Okinawa and Saipan and lwo Jima but never this Kokoda Trail.
A place worth forgetting.
It could rain an inch in five minutes.
The mud was black, full of disease, and of course we were killing each other.
Your father's men and my men.
After six months we were all starving.
Malaria.
My platoon had been lost for a day when we stumbled across your father's squad lying in a stand of kuani grass.
Those who were still alive were without ammunition.
So were we.
And too weak even to use our bayonets.
Or at least, we didn't.
We had some rations to spare and they had quinine for our fevers.
That whole day, your father and I did not exchange a single word.
One day of reason among so many of madness.
I understand now why he says he owes his life to you.
And I to him.
After the war I found him in one of our prisoner camps.
We talked then and we have written over the years.
We have never once yet spoken of that day on the Kokoda Trail.
Perhaps because he cannot bear the guilt of squandering the new life you gave him.
I would hardly say that.
He's an enormously wealthy and influential man.
Yes.
He has wealth and influence.
But he no longer has the soul of a man.
You're too harsh.
Sato is capable of great understanding and sympathy.
I'm living proof of that.
That's a very nice story, Higgins, but you're letting all this nice food go to waste.
Magnum, when will you learn the meaning of the simple phrase "on time"? I'm sorry, but I've been wrestling with my karma.
I'm beginning to think it's so far out of whack that I'll never get it right.
- Did you find out about Roy? - No.
All I got was a sore shoulder and a torn shirt.
How did this happen? Your understanding and sympathetic friend tried to have me killed on the dock.
That just doesn't sound like Sato.
That was a long time ago.
You've certainly changed.
Maybe he has too.
Whatever else Sato may have become, he's not a murderer.
I will never believe that.
You must believe, Higgins-san.
It could be true.
I woke up remembering an oriental curse.
May you live in interesting times.
I must have been thinking about Asani.
She was a puzzle inside a riddle tied up with a question mark.
She said she'd come in a crate but she probably hadn't.
She said she had a husband but maybe she didn't.
Guys were after her but she got away.
And then they tried to kill me.
And that was getting just a little too interesting.
- You cleaned up my place.
- I hope you are pleased.
It is not much but it is something I can do to repay your generosity.
You didn't have to.
I heard you speak last night of karma.
I too share that belief, and as you have risked your life for me, I am in your debt.
- I have mended your shirts and pants.
- Thank you.
- I am afraid the pants will never be perfect.
- Oh, that's OK.
Batman Higgins got to 'em first.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Morning, Rick.
You got something? Great.
I think we should have a talk with them.
You and T.
C.
Hold on.
I'll be there in about 20 minutes.
Nothing on Roy but my friend thinks he's got a line on our reception committee yesterday.
I have made a bath for your shoulder.
And I will bring you some tea.
Is there anything else you would like? - I said I think we're getting close to finding - I cannot ask you to do more in my behalf.
There is no need to go.
All of our actions have been futile so it is clearly now the time to wait.
In Japanese we have a saying.
Destiny is destiny.
I have a saying for you.
Ever hear of upping the ante? Well, it's like in poker.
Yesterday somebody tried to bluff me out of the game.
But all I really did was raise the stakes.
I do not know this poker.
You may not know the card game but I think you know how to play.
You'd better give up on this payback routine.
You'll dig yourself in so deep you'll never get out.
Come on.
These things run in cycles.
Just bear with me.
Right now I'm in the "I need a favor" phase.
Another favor.
No word at all on Roy Chambers? No, sir, I didn't hear zip on that guy.
He must be extra clean.
But these two, they were easy.
Strictly low-rent knuckle-busters.
Cash-and-carry-you-away types.
Well I think we ought to have our discussion with these guys in private.
Give us about 20 seconds.
Hi, guys.
Oops.
Scratch.
Oh I know.
I know I should have waited till after your shot but, like I said, I get those impulses.
You know what? I think you're gonna be sorry you got this one.
What, you don't wanna play? I thought we might play nine-ball for a round of beers.
- Did you? - Well, we're tired of playing nine-ball.
I wonder what else we could use these sticks for.
Rotation? Eight-ball? Hold that right there.
Gentlemen, don't make us use these.
Yeah, I like to try and avoid loud noises.
Move it.
Come on, move it.
- Careful.
My friend has itchy trigger fingers.
- Move it.
Thomas, I don't think you've been properly introduced.
Mr.
Jansen and Mr.
Harms.
Oh.
We were deciding what game to play.
How about 20 Questions? I'll start.
First question.
Does the name Sato Ozawa ring a bell? What about Roy Chambers? We don't know those names.
We get a phone call and some cash in an envelope.
The first time it wasn't supposed to be you.
- An English guy, Higgins.
- Yeah, it was supposed to be Higgins.
Same number, ask for the girl, rough you up, then split.
- What about at the docks? The container.
- Another phone call.
- You were supposed to kill me? - Nothing personal.
Doing our job.
- So no hard feelings, right? - Wrong.
Everything OK? Uh It was.
- It is now.
- No, it's not.
You still owe me 30 bucks.
Yeah, and what about the 30 you guys owe me? I want it now.
This is about the worst hustle I've ever been in on.
Hustle? Hustle! Yeah, that's it.
We're never gonna work with you guys again.
You're supposed to have these guys set up for us and what do you do? You shake down these clowns yourself.
- Yeah.
- That's low.
Yeah, who can you trust nowadays? These things are supposed to get simpler once you start finding things out.
I say supposed to.
But who would spend good money to hire two guys for a game of bump and run, then hire them again to bump me off? Not Sato Ozawa.
All he was supposed to want was his daughter back.
I say supposed to.
Hey, I found the guy Oh That is getting desperate.
I think pouring the stuff straight into your brain is one of the seven danger signals.
I'm holding you responsible, criminally responsible, for allowing the security of this estate to lapse into such disrepair that a band of villains could waltz in here, bash me on the skull and spirit that girl away without so much as a buzzer buzzing.
- Asani's been kidnapped? - Indeed.
An hour ago, no more.
My pride is far more battered than my flesh.
I've allowed Sato's daughter to be forcibly taken from my safekeeping.
I repeat, you have failed in your duties as chief of security.
Oh? What about the lads? The good old trustworthy infallible lads.
They must have got a chunk of somebody.
No? This is no time for recriminations.
We must follow their demands to the letter.
From the look of them they were deadly serious.
- You got a look? That's good.
How many? - Two.
A band of two villains? Sufficient for the job when a man has no warning.
An agate-eyed oriental and a looming barrel-chested lumberjacket type with a matted beard.
- Which one hit you? - What does it matter? They have Asani.
All we can do is wait.
They want Sato here to negotiate for her.
That's something.
You were right about him.
Sato is as much a victim as anyone else.
I was confident that would be the case.
You call him? That's nasty.
I've already spoken to Sato.
He heard the story and said my word was good enough.
- He's flying in immediately.
- Cheer up.
I feel a great sense of failure.
No.
There's time.
Maybe we can find her for him by then.
We will do nothing of the kind.
Their demands were quite specific.
No police, no interference.
We will wait.
Check the security system and do nothing but wait.
Is that clear? OK.
You got it.
We'll wait.
Do nothing.
It took me five minutes to find where the kidnappers had jumped the alarm circuits.
Neat job, too.
Five more minutes and they were fixed.
Then what was I gonna do? I couldn't just sit there with all the pieces but no puzzle.
I needed something concrete to go on.
Or maybe someone on concrete.
You see him? Yeah, I see him.
Give me the juice up.
I got a string on this boy.
He's headed toward Diamond Head on Kalakaua, Thomas.
It's got to be the zoo.
Hold it.
Hold it right there.
Just hold it.
I just wanna ask you a few questions.
Don't touch him.
Leave him alone.
Honey honey, it's all right.
It's all right.
- Who are you? What do you want? - Let's start with you.
Since you're the only guy following me around, you probably already know who I am, right, Ray Roy? No, I don't know what you're talking about.
You're here visiting the animals while somebody kidnaps your wife.
- What are you talking about? - Asani.
Someone kidnapped Asani.
I don't understand.
I am Asani.
We thought you were working for Sato.
I paid the man at the warehouse to call me if anyone asked questions about Asani and I.
- He helped you out before? - That's right.
I really did arrive at that same warehouse in a crate only a week before you picked up my sister.
- Your sister? - Mioshi.
My older sister by one year.
- And a pretty good copy of you too.
- I'm sure she's the best copy she can be.
Down to pretending to get to Hawaii the same way Asani did.
Physically we are alike but we are much different people.
She's more like my father.
She needs power and she knows how to get it.
And how to use it.
But why is it important for Mioshi to make Higgins believe she was you? The illusion had to be perfect.
Sato knows how Asani escaped so Higgins has to believe the same thing in case they compare notes.
- What's the point? - Once my father was strong.
But now he is a frightened man.
He's growing old and feels vulnerable to his enemies.
They are just as heartless as my sister and they want his pearl beds.
You see, Sato hasn't left his walls or his guards for years.
He thinks if he does he'll be killed.
He's probably right.
There's only one man in this worid he might trust enough to persuade him to come out.
- Higgins.
- Yes.
If Higgins-san calls believing there's a plot to kidnap me He already did.
Your father's on his way to Hawaii.
- Mioshi's going to kill him.
- I can't get through.
I gotta get out there.
Konnichiwa, Sato.
Welcome to Hawaii.
Hello, Jonathan.
It has been far too many years.
I wish this reunion were for any reason other than the one which has brought you here.
- My regret is overwhelming.
- Please, no speeches of regret.
The blame is all mine.
Later, if we wish, we may indulge in guilt.
But first we must find my daughter and for that I am dependent upon your help.
You have that, of course.
Whatever I can do.
For now, you can give me grace to wait.
- Have you heard from the kidnappers? - No.
Their note said that we would be contacted.
We don't know precisely when.
Asani? Mioshi.
Mioshi.
This is not Asani, Jonathan.
This is Mioshi, my first daughter.
She has used you to have me killed.
And to my shame, you will die as well.
- You never left the grounds? - Of course not.
We had to wait for him to come to us.
You speak as though I were vermin to be exterminated.
I can understand my enemies, but you The pearis are not enough.
I am your father.
You are dead.
All you have ever given me is the touch of a dead man and the shriveled heart of a dead man.
Nothing changes.
Closer, T.
C.
Closer.
There'll be no more killing here.
Don't.
If you had any honor left, you would use this on yourself.
I'm thinking of a verse.
Since settling to earth The high spirit of that kite Is gone completely A poignant haiku.
But neither of us has settled to earth just yet.
Do you know this one? You summer grasses Glorious dreams of great warriors Now only in ruins - Jonathan, there is so much - Not now.
Let it become the past.
There will be time enough for us to talk about it then.
I'm sorry.
I thought maybe now he would say something.
Don't be sorry.
I am no longer murahachibu.
He saw me.
- Hi.
- Hi, guys.
What's going on? - Not a lot.
- The kind of day to pay back your buddies.
Mm-hm.
Try and remember, Thomas.
Think of your karma.
A week as a chauffeur.
In livery.
And when you're done driving T.
C.
Around, there's the book-keeping you owe me.
What's this? A fortune cookie I got with some Sichuan food.
- That made you turn over a new leaf? - A man of good fortune repays his reward.
- Sounds good to me.
- That's my old fortune.
Old fortune? What's this? I'm sorry, guys.
I gotta go.
I've got another friend in a lot of trouble.
That's my new fortune.
"Help me.
I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory.
"
Call her dad and send her home.
I'm standing here.
Hello! - How many? - Two.
A band of two villains? Is there anything else you would like? Don't do that.
I am not in the mood for a jail term today.
- You were meant to kill me? - Nothing personal.
- No hard feelings, right? - Wrong.
Whatever else Sato may have become, he's not a cold-blooded murderer.
Closer, T.
C.
Fate has a nasty way of popping up and waggling its long, bony finger under your nose.
Sometimes it's a squeaker at 70 miles an hour.
Or a plane you missed that never makes it back from the Bermuda Triangle.
But whatever it is, you always get the message.
It's time to stop taking your good luck for granted.
Morning, Higgins.
Guys.
Something wrong? Simply put, you are not qualified for this work.
Gee, Higgins, I don't think that's very nice.
Look at my rows.
They're even, they overlap.
I know how to mow a yard.
To the untrained eye this may appear to be just another suburban lawn.
But we are standing on a scientifically formulated carpet of bahÃa, Kentucky bluegrass and an African zoysia.
One doesn't just mow it.
Gee, Higgins.
I was just trying to do you a favor.
I hope it can be saved.
You were cutting at least 30 degrees against the grain.
Favor? Well, I figured it was time I paid back some of the favors that I owe everybody.
Even the score, balance my karma.
You know what I mean? Assuming you had some grasp of a subtle Eastern concept like karma I'm serious.
Make me a list of the favors I owe you and I'll take care of them.
I already have a list.
What I don't have is a reason to believe you.
You know that case I had? The guy from Maui who couldn't live unless I found his wife for him? I'm not interested in listening to another of your tawdry divorce cases.
Well, I found her.
In some kootch joint on Hotel Street.
It was a heart-warming reunion.
She had a gun, he had a gun and I had the hiccups for six hours after the shooting.
- A case of hiccups is hardly a revelation.
- No, I'm serious, Higgins.
There I was, right between 'em, and I didn't get a nick.
I think it was some kind of gypsy's warning.
Karma, gypsy warning.
I suppose your horoscope clinched it.
Not my horoscope.
This.
Good God, that's horrible.
What is it? It's a fortune cookie from some takeout Sichuan food after the shooting.
- I thought you had the hiccups.
- Read it.
"A man of good fortune repays his reward.
" I agree.
That's quite a coincidence.
Magnum, are you serious about this? It isn't one of your silly attempts to extract some favor from me? I swear.
There is an errand you might be perfectly qualified to perform.
Thank you.
The only time Higgins ever thinks I'm perfectly qualified for anything is when the thing is too heavy for him to lift.
He could give me all the dirty jobs he could think of.
I was still going to keep my promise.
It was time people remembered they can trust Thomas Sullivan Magnum.
You don't trust me? Me not trust a man who carries around a fortune cookie in his pocket? I'm serious, T.
C.
I'm gonna make it all up to you.
Which is why you need to borrow my van.
No.
You can't very well carry around a 200-pound crate in a Ferrari, can you? Besides, I've got to finish this favor for Higgins before I can do one for you.
Think of everything you want done around here.
Make up a list of the gas bills I owe you.
It's already made up.
I'll wash it and wax it before I bring it back.
I'll clean out those hamburger bags and beer cans in the back.
That's great, considering they're all yours.
- I'll be your driver.
- My what? Your chauffeur for a day in exchange for the van.
- Will you wear a uniform? - Don't push it.
- The keys are in the van.
- Ha! - You won't regret this, T.
C.
- Somehow I regret it already.
Mr.
Akiola, come to receiving.
Max, into the office on the double.
A little help? I could use a hand, somebody.
Get me a forklift on aisle 14.
Hello? Hey! Hey! - Hey! - Hey.
Hey.
No riders, bro.
Union rules.
Not funny.
I could have slipped.
Did you ever think of that? Aisle 23, you're slowing up.
I've seen it happen.
The warehouse is dangerous.
That's why guys like you stay out.
Union rules.
What is this? One crate of books from off the Boku Maru.
That's right.
That's the entry form.
No duty.
- Must be here someplace.
- Could you get it for me, please? You want me to get it? OK.
One brace to the loading dock.
Stack 'em on dock six.
We need a supervisor in aisle 14.
My van's over there.
Sorry.
I can't take it past that line.
- Union - Don't say it.
rules, bro.
Stanley, report to personnel right away.
- Where did you come from? - In here.
OK, son, you wanna tell me what you were doing in that crate? - Hi, guys.
- Why don't you take a hike? - We'll take the kid.
- Wait.
Hold it till somebody tells me what's going on.
We already told you once.
- Please - Go on, get going.
Wasn't very smart.
Well, you know, sometimes I get an impulse.
I gotta go with it.
Go with this.
Don't be afraid.
They're gone.
Thank you, Higgins-san.
Higgins-san? Yeah.
I should have known better than to believe you could manage responsibility for more than a few heartbeats.
After two hours I gave up hope.
After three Relax, Higgins.
I got your package.
Before or after the barroom brawl? There wasn't any barroom brawl.
Not exactly.
Two men attacked me.
Two men attacked you? I trust the books arrived in good condition.
Not exactly.
- You're being intentionally obtuse.
- Obtuse? - Vague.
- I know what it means! Why would two men suddenly attack you over a crate of books? Maybe because there weren't any books in it.
Just her.
This is Higgins-san.
- I am Asani Ozawa.
- I don't care who - Ozawa? - Hai.
Sato Ozawa's daughter? Hai.
Good Lord.
I was aboard the freighter to Hawaii for three weeks.
- You were in that crate for three weeks? - Not all the time.
I paid some of the sailors to help me and bring me food.
They placed my crate where I had good air and I only had to stay inside when the watch would change.
Harrowing ordeal.
I still can't believe your father would keep you a virtual prisoner.
Sato is a rigid man but not cruel.
The pearis have changed him.
He has too much power for one man and he is old.
He understands only the old way.
He forbade me to marry an American and when I disobeyed he drove my husband away with threats.
From that moment he could only think of me as mura hachibu.
Which means? The words mean only to go to the eighth part of the village where no one goes.
But it is more.
Mura hachibu is an extreme form of social censure, a mental banishment.
Although you live and work among other people you are invisible, you don't exist.
That is true.
I could not bear it so I posed as a pearl diver and escaped.
Now I am free but I am in shame.
Sato is the one to be ashamed.
- What is your husband's name? - Roy.
Roy Chambers.
He eluded my father and sent money for my escape to Honolulu.
So why involve Higgins in all this? My father has many allies.
They are certainly looking for me.
Yo-yos at the dock.
Despite all my care, somehow they found me.
You see why I could not risk having Roy pick up the crate.
But it has been said in my family that Higgins-san is a man of honor who could be trusted.
I am deeply touched.
You can have complete faith in our help.
Forget it, Higgins.
You're not volunteering me for this.
Magnum, can't you feel for this girl? Don't you have any sympathy for her plight? Do yourself a favor, Higgins.
Call her dad and send her home.
That would be unthinkable.
She trusts me.
So I heard.
Take my advice.
Do it anyway.
I can think of about eight laws we're breaking by letting her sit there.
Incidentally, she has not been in the hold of a Japanese freighter for three weeks.
How do you know that? Even a cherry blossom wilts after three weeks.
I've considered our arrangement.
What amusing workmanship.
- I suppose you can do better.
- Of course.
I put in a few turns as a batman, you know.
Higgins, I am not going to help you with Little Miss Cherry Blossom.
Asani has been giving me the most frightful account of her dilemma.
Her father had her under guard night and day on some godforsaken atoll.
Refused to acknowledge her marriage.
Nice guy, this friend of yours.
I would have sworn that Sato was incapable of such behavior.
We have a bond dating back good heavens, nearly 40 years.
I can only conclude that time has changed him.
Still, I owe him this much, to see that his daughter is safe and happy.
Higgins, send her home.
Which means taking her back to her husband.
Straightforward under normal circumstances.
Nothing about any of this is normal.
- She jumped out of a crate.
- Unorthodox, I admit.
And then the yo-yos at that moment just happened to show up to jump you, not me.
I'm not admitting you're right but I concede the prudent thing might be to leave Asani here and bring her husband back to Robin's Nest.
- It's still dangerous.
- Precisely why I'm asking for your help.
No.
I understood Asani was the product of an ancient, genteel culture but I was a little surprised when she hesitated to help me locate her husband.
She said she was in my debt and wanted to keep me from getting hurt again, but out of deference to Higgins I insisted and finally she gave me his address.
Only before picking up Roy, the new Magnum had another debt to take care of.
Thanks, Keoki.
Thomas, I want to shake your hand.
For once you made a promise and lived up to it.
- Right on time too.
- Don't overdo it.
It's positive reinforcement, my boy.
I want this to be a pleasant experience.
- This looks like a lot of work.
- And it's just from today.
- These bar bills? - Yep.
Every one hot off a credit card.
Although I hope it's not a hot credit card.
Where's your sense of humor? Sit down, I'll show you the ropes.
You couldn't have picked a better time to start paying back favors.
My book-keeper just quit.
- Why are these things all wet? - I just told you, they're bar bills.
- You are gonna do this for me, aren't you? - Absolutely.
Absolutely.
You didn't happen to check on those two guys who knocked me round the docks? Thomas, you just asked me that an hour ago.
Let me get started with you and I'll make a few calls for you.
This is either a huge bar tab or a girl's phone number.
I can't read any of these.
They're signed by the same drunks who spilled their drinks on them.
- Are you gonna dilly-dally or help me? - Absolutely.
What's the hold-up? I got places to go.
- What's he talking about? - It's complicated.
I had to ask T.
C.
A favor in order to repay a favor to Higgins.
Now I'm paying back T.
C.
, but I'll get to you.
What's he talking about? He is my chauffeur.
He has to drive me any place I wanna go.
No.
He's my book-keeper and I got a ton of work for him.
I'll get to everybody in due time.
In due time, Rick.
Check on those two guys for me, will you? That'll cost you 30 minutes on the adding machine.
- Just put it on my tab.
- It's already put.
Rick, I almost forgot your paper.
Oh, no! I'm sorry.
I should have known this "my driver" deal was a con.
- I drove you, didn't I? - Where you wanted to go.
Relax, T.
C.
We'll just pick this guy up and leave.
Oh, yeah? Ha! If it's so easy, why am I here? Don't do that.
Don't do Look, I I am not in the mood for a jail term today.
He's supposed to be in here.
I just wanna find out why he isn't.
If you get me busted for a B and E, it'll cost you more than a day of chauffeuring.
I just want you to know that.
Check the kitchen.
He's not in there.
- This guy sure must travel light.
- Nobody travels that light.
- Er Thomas.
- I knew something was screwball.
What do you want? There's nothing here to steal.
Unless you're funny for Formica.
- Well - Actually, um Did you want to rent the place? That's it.
A one, maybe two-bedroom.
Nothing fancy.
Wouldn't the fern look lovely in the corner over there? You should have asked to see it first.
It might have been taken.
My place is right downstairs.
It says manager on the door.
That's me.
I'm Mrs.
Cheever.
Well, it's nice to meet you.
This place is just dandy too.
We're surprised it's not already taken.
We thought a friend of ours might have snatched it up.
- Ray Chambers? - You mean Roy Chambers.
- Yeah.
- I haven't seen Roy for a few days.
Now, we get first and last months', plus security, plus We'll take it.
We'll take it.
I'm confident we've encountered a double-blind strategy.
I've used it myself.
Chambers is waiting elsewhere.
Then why didn't that landlady come up with another address or a secret handshake? She was instructed to reveal what she knew only to Asani.
Chambers might have been waiting somewhere nearby.
I say Asani and I go back there now.
No, you don't, Higgins.
It could be a trap.
I told you, he may have moved to elude my father's men.
But I am worried they may have found him already.
The landlady merely said she hadn't seen him.
Forget what she said.
That whole setup was cockeyed.
I got to go back to the docks where we know there's two guys with something to tell us.
- It is too dangerous.
- My dear, that's what we pay him for.
Pay me? A figure of speech.
It was worth remembering that what got me into this whole thing was a fortune cookie.
Unfortunately they don't come with instructions.
No matter what they say, you have to figure out what they really mean on your own.
Which was still the way I felt about Asani.
Anybody here? There's only one problem with asking people questions on the docks.
If they don't know you, they won't tell you.
No good pointing out that if they knew you, chances are you'd know what they know in the first place.
They already know that and they don't care.
The thing I wanted to ask those two thugs, if I could ever find them, was who or what frightened them off.
I like to think I can handle myself but so far things hadn't been very tricky.
Help! Help! Anybody! I'm slipping! It was 1942, summer.
I'd been transferred from North Africa to New Guinea and attached to the Australian Seventh Division.
We were to push the enemy back across the island, across a spine of mountains.
We called it the Kokoda Trail.
Ever heard of it? I have heard of the battles for Okinawa and Saipan and lwo Jima but never this Kokoda Trail.
A place worth forgetting.
It could rain an inch in five minutes.
The mud was black, full of disease, and of course we were killing each other.
Your father's men and my men.
After six months we were all starving.
Malaria.
My platoon had been lost for a day when we stumbled across your father's squad lying in a stand of kuani grass.
Those who were still alive were without ammunition.
So were we.
And too weak even to use our bayonets.
Or at least, we didn't.
We had some rations to spare and they had quinine for our fevers.
That whole day, your father and I did not exchange a single word.
One day of reason among so many of madness.
I understand now why he says he owes his life to you.
And I to him.
After the war I found him in one of our prisoner camps.
We talked then and we have written over the years.
We have never once yet spoken of that day on the Kokoda Trail.
Perhaps because he cannot bear the guilt of squandering the new life you gave him.
I would hardly say that.
He's an enormously wealthy and influential man.
Yes.
He has wealth and influence.
But he no longer has the soul of a man.
You're too harsh.
Sato is capable of great understanding and sympathy.
I'm living proof of that.
That's a very nice story, Higgins, but you're letting all this nice food go to waste.
Magnum, when will you learn the meaning of the simple phrase "on time"? I'm sorry, but I've been wrestling with my karma.
I'm beginning to think it's so far out of whack that I'll never get it right.
- Did you find out about Roy? - No.
All I got was a sore shoulder and a torn shirt.
How did this happen? Your understanding and sympathetic friend tried to have me killed on the dock.
That just doesn't sound like Sato.
That was a long time ago.
You've certainly changed.
Maybe he has too.
Whatever else Sato may have become, he's not a murderer.
I will never believe that.
You must believe, Higgins-san.
It could be true.
I woke up remembering an oriental curse.
May you live in interesting times.
I must have been thinking about Asani.
She was a puzzle inside a riddle tied up with a question mark.
She said she'd come in a crate but she probably hadn't.
She said she had a husband but maybe she didn't.
Guys were after her but she got away.
And then they tried to kill me.
And that was getting just a little too interesting.
- You cleaned up my place.
- I hope you are pleased.
It is not much but it is something I can do to repay your generosity.
You didn't have to.
I heard you speak last night of karma.
I too share that belief, and as you have risked your life for me, I am in your debt.
- I have mended your shirts and pants.
- Thank you.
- I am afraid the pants will never be perfect.
- Oh, that's OK.
Batman Higgins got to 'em first.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Morning, Rick.
You got something? Great.
I think we should have a talk with them.
You and T.
C.
Hold on.
I'll be there in about 20 minutes.
Nothing on Roy but my friend thinks he's got a line on our reception committee yesterday.
I have made a bath for your shoulder.
And I will bring you some tea.
Is there anything else you would like? - I said I think we're getting close to finding - I cannot ask you to do more in my behalf.
There is no need to go.
All of our actions have been futile so it is clearly now the time to wait.
In Japanese we have a saying.
Destiny is destiny.
I have a saying for you.
Ever hear of upping the ante? Well, it's like in poker.
Yesterday somebody tried to bluff me out of the game.
But all I really did was raise the stakes.
I do not know this poker.
You may not know the card game but I think you know how to play.
You'd better give up on this payback routine.
You'll dig yourself in so deep you'll never get out.
Come on.
These things run in cycles.
Just bear with me.
Right now I'm in the "I need a favor" phase.
Another favor.
No word at all on Roy Chambers? No, sir, I didn't hear zip on that guy.
He must be extra clean.
But these two, they were easy.
Strictly low-rent knuckle-busters.
Cash-and-carry-you-away types.
Well I think we ought to have our discussion with these guys in private.
Give us about 20 seconds.
Hi, guys.
Oops.
Scratch.
Oh I know.
I know I should have waited till after your shot but, like I said, I get those impulses.
You know what? I think you're gonna be sorry you got this one.
What, you don't wanna play? I thought we might play nine-ball for a round of beers.
- Did you? - Well, we're tired of playing nine-ball.
I wonder what else we could use these sticks for.
Rotation? Eight-ball? Hold that right there.
Gentlemen, don't make us use these.
Yeah, I like to try and avoid loud noises.
Move it.
Come on, move it.
- Careful.
My friend has itchy trigger fingers.
- Move it.
Thomas, I don't think you've been properly introduced.
Mr.
Jansen and Mr.
Harms.
Oh.
We were deciding what game to play.
How about 20 Questions? I'll start.
First question.
Does the name Sato Ozawa ring a bell? What about Roy Chambers? We don't know those names.
We get a phone call and some cash in an envelope.
The first time it wasn't supposed to be you.
- An English guy, Higgins.
- Yeah, it was supposed to be Higgins.
Same number, ask for the girl, rough you up, then split.
- What about at the docks? The container.
- Another phone call.
- You were supposed to kill me? - Nothing personal.
Doing our job.
- So no hard feelings, right? - Wrong.
Everything OK? Uh It was.
- It is now.
- No, it's not.
You still owe me 30 bucks.
Yeah, and what about the 30 you guys owe me? I want it now.
This is about the worst hustle I've ever been in on.
Hustle? Hustle! Yeah, that's it.
We're never gonna work with you guys again.
You're supposed to have these guys set up for us and what do you do? You shake down these clowns yourself.
- Yeah.
- That's low.
Yeah, who can you trust nowadays? These things are supposed to get simpler once you start finding things out.
I say supposed to.
But who would spend good money to hire two guys for a game of bump and run, then hire them again to bump me off? Not Sato Ozawa.
All he was supposed to want was his daughter back.
I say supposed to.
Hey, I found the guy Oh That is getting desperate.
I think pouring the stuff straight into your brain is one of the seven danger signals.
I'm holding you responsible, criminally responsible, for allowing the security of this estate to lapse into such disrepair that a band of villains could waltz in here, bash me on the skull and spirit that girl away without so much as a buzzer buzzing.
- Asani's been kidnapped? - Indeed.
An hour ago, no more.
My pride is far more battered than my flesh.
I've allowed Sato's daughter to be forcibly taken from my safekeeping.
I repeat, you have failed in your duties as chief of security.
Oh? What about the lads? The good old trustworthy infallible lads.
They must have got a chunk of somebody.
No? This is no time for recriminations.
We must follow their demands to the letter.
From the look of them they were deadly serious.
- You got a look? That's good.
How many? - Two.
A band of two villains? Sufficient for the job when a man has no warning.
An agate-eyed oriental and a looming barrel-chested lumberjacket type with a matted beard.
- Which one hit you? - What does it matter? They have Asani.
All we can do is wait.
They want Sato here to negotiate for her.
That's something.
You were right about him.
Sato is as much a victim as anyone else.
I was confident that would be the case.
You call him? That's nasty.
I've already spoken to Sato.
He heard the story and said my word was good enough.
- He's flying in immediately.
- Cheer up.
I feel a great sense of failure.
No.
There's time.
Maybe we can find her for him by then.
We will do nothing of the kind.
Their demands were quite specific.
No police, no interference.
We will wait.
Check the security system and do nothing but wait.
Is that clear? OK.
You got it.
We'll wait.
Do nothing.
It took me five minutes to find where the kidnappers had jumped the alarm circuits.
Neat job, too.
Five more minutes and they were fixed.
Then what was I gonna do? I couldn't just sit there with all the pieces but no puzzle.
I needed something concrete to go on.
Or maybe someone on concrete.
You see him? Yeah, I see him.
Give me the juice up.
I got a string on this boy.
He's headed toward Diamond Head on Kalakaua, Thomas.
It's got to be the zoo.
Hold it.
Hold it right there.
Just hold it.
I just wanna ask you a few questions.
Don't touch him.
Leave him alone.
Honey honey, it's all right.
It's all right.
- Who are you? What do you want? - Let's start with you.
Since you're the only guy following me around, you probably already know who I am, right, Ray Roy? No, I don't know what you're talking about.
You're here visiting the animals while somebody kidnaps your wife.
- What are you talking about? - Asani.
Someone kidnapped Asani.
I don't understand.
I am Asani.
We thought you were working for Sato.
I paid the man at the warehouse to call me if anyone asked questions about Asani and I.
- He helped you out before? - That's right.
I really did arrive at that same warehouse in a crate only a week before you picked up my sister.
- Your sister? - Mioshi.
My older sister by one year.
- And a pretty good copy of you too.
- I'm sure she's the best copy she can be.
Down to pretending to get to Hawaii the same way Asani did.
Physically we are alike but we are much different people.
She's more like my father.
She needs power and she knows how to get it.
And how to use it.
But why is it important for Mioshi to make Higgins believe she was you? The illusion had to be perfect.
Sato knows how Asani escaped so Higgins has to believe the same thing in case they compare notes.
- What's the point? - Once my father was strong.
But now he is a frightened man.
He's growing old and feels vulnerable to his enemies.
They are just as heartless as my sister and they want his pearl beds.
You see, Sato hasn't left his walls or his guards for years.
He thinks if he does he'll be killed.
He's probably right.
There's only one man in this worid he might trust enough to persuade him to come out.
- Higgins.
- Yes.
If Higgins-san calls believing there's a plot to kidnap me He already did.
Your father's on his way to Hawaii.
- Mioshi's going to kill him.
- I can't get through.
I gotta get out there.
Konnichiwa, Sato.
Welcome to Hawaii.
Hello, Jonathan.
It has been far too many years.
I wish this reunion were for any reason other than the one which has brought you here.
- My regret is overwhelming.
- Please, no speeches of regret.
The blame is all mine.
Later, if we wish, we may indulge in guilt.
But first we must find my daughter and for that I am dependent upon your help.
You have that, of course.
Whatever I can do.
For now, you can give me grace to wait.
- Have you heard from the kidnappers? - No.
Their note said that we would be contacted.
We don't know precisely when.
Asani? Mioshi.
Mioshi.
This is not Asani, Jonathan.
This is Mioshi, my first daughter.
She has used you to have me killed.
And to my shame, you will die as well.
- You never left the grounds? - Of course not.
We had to wait for him to come to us.
You speak as though I were vermin to be exterminated.
I can understand my enemies, but you The pearis are not enough.
I am your father.
You are dead.
All you have ever given me is the touch of a dead man and the shriveled heart of a dead man.
Nothing changes.
Closer, T.
C.
Closer.
There'll be no more killing here.
Don't.
If you had any honor left, you would use this on yourself.
I'm thinking of a verse.
Since settling to earth The high spirit of that kite Is gone completely A poignant haiku.
But neither of us has settled to earth just yet.
Do you know this one? You summer grasses Glorious dreams of great warriors Now only in ruins - Jonathan, there is so much - Not now.
Let it become the past.
There will be time enough for us to talk about it then.
I'm sorry.
I thought maybe now he would say something.
Don't be sorry.
I am no longer murahachibu.
He saw me.
- Hi.
- Hi, guys.
What's going on? - Not a lot.
- The kind of day to pay back your buddies.
Mm-hm.
Try and remember, Thomas.
Think of your karma.
A week as a chauffeur.
In livery.
And when you're done driving T.
C.
Around, there's the book-keeping you owe me.
What's this? A fortune cookie I got with some Sichuan food.
- That made you turn over a new leaf? - A man of good fortune repays his reward.
- Sounds good to me.
- That's my old fortune.
Old fortune? What's this? I'm sorry, guys.
I gotta go.
I've got another friend in a lot of trouble.
That's my new fortune.
"Help me.
I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory.
"