Man with a Plan (2016) s03e04 Episode Script

Hey.
Hey, honey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing? This whole area here is Donny Land.
(CHUCKLES): Don she can put her stuff on your desk.
Well, what if I have to tell a story? I talk with my hands.
That's how I paint a picture.
Okay, well, maybe paint a picture of you working.
Hmm? It'll be a one-of-a-kind.
Come on, honey, you can put your stuff over here.
Well, that's sweet, honey, but, you know, I work here now; I feel like I should have my own desk.
I wish we could, but if we give you a desk, someone else is gonna have to give theirs up.
Oh.
Hmm.
I see.
What? He's your brother.
She's your wife.
I'm screwed.
Do you know what I had to do to earn this desk? Months of dodging and ducking my way through this guy's endless stories.
(CHUCKLES) What are you laughing at? I don't know.
You made fun of Don; I liked it.
Lowell, you seem a bit on edge.
I'm just not giving up this desk.
It's all I have.
I'm not losing it, not today! Hey, nobody's gonna take your desk.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Okay, you feel better now? Yes.
It won't happen again.
- Okay.
- Good.
Who the flip took my flipping pencil sharpener?! All right, L Lowell, take it easy.
I don't think you're really mad about the pencil sharpener or the desk.
ANDI: Maybe you're having trouble adjusting to being single since you and your wife split up.
Jeepers.
I never thought of that.
The greatest minds in the world have come together to figure out the obvious! (PENCIL SHARPENER WHIRRING) Is that Lowell's pencil sharpener? I couldn't give it back; I was in too deep.
Mom, I have to build a solar system for my science class.
Again? You already know this stuff.
How many planets are in the solar system? A billion.
Two? (CLEARS THROAT) Okay, we'll work on it this weekend.
- It's due tomorrow.
- Of course it is.
Okay, well, I-I'll get your dad to do it when he gets home.
Oh, you know what'll be fun? I'll say we told him about it last week.
(DOOR OPENS) - Hey, guys.
- Hi.
(CHUCKLES) So, get this.
Lowell placed an order with the lumberyard today, and he got all weepy when they asked if we were doing his-and-hers closets.
He is getting really good prices, though.
He's too lonely, all by himself in that apartment.
I got to stop by there and, well, see if I can snap him out of it.
- Tonight? - Mm-hmm.
(HISSING INHALE) But last week you promised Teddy you'd build him a solar system.
I know.
I remember.
I listen.
But shouldn't you do this one? I mean, last night I had to clean dog poop off of Emme's shoe, again.
I think she just jumps from pile to pile.
Well, while you were cleaning her shoes, I hemmed Kate's band uniform to make it shorter.
Longer.
I made it longer, like a pilgrim.
All right, forget Lowell I'll do the solar system.
I already got it all planned out, because I've been thinking about it ever since you mentioned it last week.
No.
I like that you want to go check on your friend, so I will create the universe.
A woman probably did it anyway.
Man, you guys are too busy.
The only thing I did last night was binge-watch Fantasy Island.
And all I can say is, be careful what you wish for.
- Heh.
That sounds like a night, huh? - Hmm.
Mindless, pointless fun? Do you remember how much fun fun was? Yeah.
You know, sometimes I see old pictures of us, and I think: What are they smiling about? Don't they know what's coming? Right? LOWELL: I'm so glad you dropped by.
Yeah.
Let me just close my bedroom door.
Well, now the place looks huge.
Can you hear me over there? Sit down, make yourself at home.
(SIGHS) This is cozy.
(CHUCKLES) The saleslady at the store said it was a love seat.
Then I said, "I love you, too.
" Then I kind of had to buy it.
Look, Lowell, I know you're going through a tough time, but your mood is creating a weird work vibe.
Is it the crying? The yelling? I think it's the combo platter, my friend.
Oh, come on, it's not all bad.
You got your own place here.
You could do whatever you want.
Like what? That is a great question.
Uh, well, what were you doing before I got here? Well, I open and close the bed a lot.
- (KNOCKING AT DOOR) - Fun.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, Don.
Don's here.
He'll lighten things up.
Don, lighten things up.
What brings you by, fair traveler? Well, I went home, and you know what I realized? My wife lives there.
So, I, uh, grabbed some beer and snacks, and here I am.
See, Lowell? It's all coming together.
We got food, we got beverages.
Now we just need something to do besides talking.
Hey.
What's this hole? I tried to hang a picture, but I was madder than I thought.
Well, I think we can do something with that.
That's my light bill.
No, no, we'll make a game out of this.
Okay, if you get the ball in the hole from here, that's one point.
And if you make it from here, it's two points.
- Ah.
- And if you don't get in the hole, it's no points.
All right, I like that you're trying.
Yes! Nothin' but hole.
This is so fun! But we lost the ball; now what do we do? Dang it, Adam! Automatic ball return.
Gentlemen, I think we just invented a sport.
This is a masterpiece.
This is definitely gonna make the front table at open house.
(CHUCKLES): Yeah.
It looks good.
So, is it time to paint Uranus? Teddy, you've been doing that all night.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
(SIGHS) But Uranus has a weird bump on it.
Miss it.
Miss it.
Mi - Yes! - (GROANS) (CHUCKLES) What are you doing, Don? Follow through! All right, good game.
I should get going and help with Teddy's project.
I'm glad you're feeling better, Lowell.
This was surprisingly fun.
It really was.
I mean, you invented a game - you can only play in my apartment.
- Mm-hmm.
That makes me the hub.
I'm the hub of the wheel.
You can't leave.
I demand a rematch.
Well, I would, because I am at the peak of my athletic ability, but I should get home.
- Okay, then tomorrow.
- Well Andi's not gonna let me come back tomorrow.
I have responsibilities.
Who knows what she told me last week that I'm supposed to do tomorrow? Okay, fine.
Then we'll-we'll play without you.
What? You're gonna have fun without me? Probably more.
All you really need is the hub.
But but I invented the game.
Well, we'll put up a picture in your memory.
No, no, no.
I'm coming back.
I just have to figure out a way to work it with Andi.
She only let me come down here because Lowell's such a basket case.
Thanks.
Oh.
No, that's a that's a good thing.
I can use that.
Oh.
Then you're welcome.
So, how's Lowell doing? It is no fun over there, let me tell ya.
I even had to bring Don in to help.
And Lowell wants me to come back again tomorrow, but Hmm.
I couldn't do that.
Could I? Maybe you should bring him over here.
That is an idea I did not see coming.
Oh, but, no, I'm afraid it'd remind him of everything he used to have You know what? He'll be fine.
- The hell with him.
- Oh, no, no.
Wait a minute.
I mean, he's your friend.
You need to be there for him.
You should go back tomorrow.
Wha (GROANS) Well, if you're gonna force me to, fine, I'll go.
When will I ever get a minute for myself? So, check out this standing desk.
It takes up less space than a regular desk, and then if you're sitting, I can hover right over you.
Uh-huh.
L-Let's keep thinking.
There's just no room in here.
I can't hang you from the ceiling like a bat.
I can't believe this.
My pencil sharpener's missing again.
Don, cough it up.
Fine.
But you should know I sharpened a carrot in here earlier, so it may be a little slow.
Sharpen whatever you want, Don.
What's mine is yours.
- Hey, Lowell seems better.
- Mm-hmm.
I guess you get to stay home with me tonight.
Great.
What a happy surprise.
All right, well, I have to go fill out these purchase orders, so I guess I'll go do it in the shovel of the bulldozer.
If they raise me up, it'll be like a penthouse office.
What are you doing, man? Sad it up.
If Andi doesn't think you're a mess, my game nights are over.
Well, I don't want that.
When you're not there, Don cheats.
Every time I try to shoot, he tickles me.
Victory at any cost.
That's what makes a champion.
My pen fell in the engine.
(CHUCKLES) I hope that's gonna be okay.
(CHUCKLES) Uh, Lowell, I'm just gonna borrow one of yours.
Oh, Lowell won't mind.
Right, Lowell? I do mind.
How dare you? What? Why is everybody always taking my stuff? You just said y-your stuff was our stuff.
Feelings don't make sense, Andi.
I'm gonna go find a church and get some soup.
What happened? I thought he was better.
Looks like I'm gonna have to go back over there again tonight.
(GROANS) You know what, Adam? I don't believe you.
You don't? It's just, you've grown so much as a person, I mean, putting your friends before yourself.
I-I, it I'm so proud of you.
Oh.
Thanks, honey.
(CHUCKLES) Aww.
Mm.
For tonight's match, I created a signature cocktail to enjoy during warm-ups.
Oh.
We are getting real classy.
Hey, you know, this could be a rich guy sport, like polo or non-miniature golfing.
Yeah, this could really catch on.
Uh, but we need a name first.
You don't get on ESPN without a name.
I like "Wall Ball.
" Eh, too rhymey.
We don't want that crowd.
Hmm.
How about "Wall Hole"? I like it.
It tells a story.
Oh, then we can call my signature drink an Andy Wall-Hole.
Uh, no, I don't get it.
Well, you know, like Andy Warhol.
Ah.
Who's that? Don.
Andy Warhol? From New York? Plays shortstop for the Mets? Oh, right, right.
Okay.
Ah.
Hey, Lowell, see if anyone owns the name WallHoleUSA.
com.
Yeah, we're definitely gonna want that for the online store.
The money is in the merchandise.
Someone already has the Wall Hole site, but the subject matter's quite disturbing.
Ooh, she was not expecting that.
Oh well, maybe she was.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) - Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
Dad, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be home resting from your knee surgery.
Well, we heard from Don that you boys had something good going on over here, so I told your mother that my nurse, uh Oh, my name is Funchy.
You can just call me that.
Sure thing, Nursey.
Said I should get out of the house and take a rehab walk.
So, uh, what's going on? I hope you're throwing something into that hole.
We need to talk to you.
What's going on? You tell us.
Our husbands have been over at Lowell's apartment every night this week.
What are they up to? They're not up to anything.
They're helping Lowell during a difficult time.
I'm actually very proud of them.
Bless her little heart.
No, i-it's true.
I you should be happy.
Our husbands are good people.
I highly doubt that.
Something's in it for them, or else they wouldn't be over there.
No.
Well That does sound more like Adam.
Shoot.
You know, I really thought he was growing as a person.
Honey, they don't do that.
LOWELL: All right.
We're at match point.
For the first time in the history of Wall Hole, a father and son meet in the playoffs.
Can a family survive it? - (GROANS) - All right.
Yeah! Dad makes it to the finals.
Even on one leg, the old man smoked you.
He gets in my head.
I built that head.
I know my way around in there.
Well, I've got winner.
You know, I was getting burned out on nursing, but now that I'm a pro athlete, I've got my passion back.
(PHONE RINGING) Ooh, it's Andi.
Uh, everybody shush.
Well, we're starting a game here.
Look, if I go down, we all go down.
Uh, how exactly will I go down? Well, I Just, everybody, shush.
Hey, honey.
No, Lowell's not doing so good.
Friday was his and Jen's movie night, so it's bringing up a lot of feelings.
I think we're gonna watch all the Harry Potters.
Okay, bye, honey.
(CHUCKLES) Andi has no idea.
It's game on, boys.
(LAUGHTER) Well, he's terrible at this.
He didn't even hang up before he said "Andi has no idea.
" So what's our move? All I can say is, I've had pepper spray in my purse for four years, and I want to use it before it expires.
That'll be the pizza.
Ooh.
All right.
Uh, oh.
I can't believe that Lowell started feeling better this very minute.
I say we all go home to our beautiful wives.
Huh? Oh, hey, ladies.
(CHUCKLES) Didn't see you there.
Yes, I lied about why I was at Lowell's.
But you ambushed me before I could cover it up.
So who's really at fault? You used your friend's unhappiness to go out and have fun and avoid stuff around here.
What? No.
I love the stuff around here.
Or were you trying to avoid me? No.
No.
- It was the stuff around here.
- Mm-hmm.
I mean, you're making up reasons to go out at night, and and you don't want me to have a desk at work.
Yeah.
It's starting to come together now, it's all connected.
No, no, stop connecting things.
Okay? H-Honey, I swear, this is just about me trying to get away with something silly.
Well, then, what's really going on? Okay, fine.
Look uh I was just trying to enjoy a little break.
But not from you.
There's school projects and shoes that need de-poopifying, and and the kids never turn off a light.
I have probably spent three years of my life turning off lights.
I mean, you have to know what I'm talking about.
No, I don't.
I find every minute with my children to be a joy to treasure.
Do you? (MOUTHS) Two weeks ago, when you went to Target to buy Teddy new shorts? - Mm-hmm.
- You were gone so long, I got worried.
- Yeah.
- So I went down there.
And you know who I saw, drinking an Icee, watching Dr.
Phil in the TV section? My long-lost twin sister? No, it was you, baby.
But I didn't say anything.
I left and let you have your time because I get it.
And also, to keep in my pocket in case something like this came up.
Well, I'm very sorry that you found out about that.
You know, we do spend a lot of time taking care of other people.
That's all I'm saying.
And since we're coming clean, I should tell you that time at Target, it wasn't my first.
They know me there.
They let me use the remote that controls all 65 TVs.
- There's a master remote? - Uh-huh.
How big is it? I need to know how big it is.
Eh, it's not big, but it's heavy.
- (LAUGHS): Nice.
- Yeah.
You see? Everyone needs to bust out once in a while.
My mistake was not busting you out with me.
Aw, that's sweet.
And, you know, maybe I should've taken you with me to watch the 65 TVs.
I would like to check out that remote.
You know, Target's open for another hour.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah.
Oh, h-hey, kids, uh, we're going out to run some very important adult errands.
Pro tip, if you angle the TVs just right, you can watch it from the bed department.
I am so glad I married you.
Hmm.
- Morning, guys.
- Hey.
Morning, honey.
Andy, I know you were upset with Adam, but this week I started to enjoy my new life.
Having the guys there really did help.
Go tell that to Marcy.
I had to sleep on the porch swing last night.
Don't worry Lowell, Adam and I are good.
Alright, well, I have some paperwork to do, so if you need me I'll be in my bulldozer.
Whoa, whoa, whoa why would you go out there, when you could just do you work here on your new desk? Whoa.
Yeah, I invented the Murphy desk.
The Murphy bed's hardworking little brother.
Oh, I love it.
Now I'm officially part of the team.
- Thanks, honey.
- Yeah.
Wall Hole, wall desk Man, the wall part of my brain is really firing right now.