Robot Chicken s03e04 Episode Script

It's alive! Ah, what a wonderful day to make cookies.
Oh, my god! Hide the recipes! Oh, my god! Ow! My foot! My foot! You bastard! Mom! Where's my costume? Here it is, Randy.
A Power Rangers costume, just like you asked.
It's a girl's costume! My friends are here! Nobody cares what color your costume is.
Look! Randy's going as Elton John this year.
Fuck you guys.
Mom, I need a trick-or-treat bag! We're out of shopping bags, honey.
Just use this.
Nice purse, lady! Here you are, little girl.
That does it! I'm going home! It's too small.
I- I can't get it off! This is the greatest Halloween ever! It's Armpit! Run! Come here! Ow! Hey, baby.
You, me going for a ride.
No.
Oh, no.
Armpit's gonna rape Randy.
Nobody Understands me! I try to fit in But I'm filled with so much rage! Why did my soccer coach do that to me? You know what, sweetheart? I didn't even get your name.
Are you Randy McCormick? Yes! Oh, thank goodness you're here! I'm Randy McCormick! Randy McCormick?! I'm gonna kill you, man! Randy, I'm afraid your mom's dead.
What?! It was a fire, son.
It seems all she had time to do was write this note saying she never loved you.
Oh, no! Right before she shot your dog.
Have a happy Halloween.
Court's adjourned.
I think we're frakked.
I can't see any frakking way we can survive this frakkin' assault.
Sorry, sir.
I need to be excused.
I got to take a shart a massive, wet, sloppy, huge, frakkin' shart.
Sorry I'm late, guys.
I was just havin' arnal sex in the locker room.
Who the frak jarked off in my frakkin' coffee?! What the fuck are they saying? Oh, it is ever so lonely being the last unicorn.
Will I ever find a friend? Yo! Oh, to be the last unicorn is a woeful plight, indeed.
Bret Matthews, a normal teenager until he crashed his car into a secret government molecular-transfer ray.
Now, whenever bret gets too hot, he becomes the incredible turbo teen.
Oh, yeah! Do me, Alex! Do me! Alex, do me! Come on! Alex, I'm worried.
You afraid Bret's gonna find out his girl's cheating on him with his best friend? No, stupid.
I'm worried our sex stains won't come out of those leather seats.
I love being a slut! Dude, free car! Sorry, dude.
Llet's get out of here! Yeah! Aaa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h! Easter bunny! Easter bunny! I found nine easter eggs and a chocolate one! I didn't hide any chocolate eggs.
Give it up, Tracy! You'll never take us alive! Wasn't planning on it, Pruneface.
It's final cut for you, Flattop.
Fuck you, Mumbles.
Wow, Dick! You really showed them.
Ha! I sure did, Horsemouth.
Uh, do you need a ride back to the station? No, thanks, Big Ears.
I think I'll walk.
You've got to take it easy with the nicknames, Tracy.
Criminals are fine, but guys in the precinct are taking it personal.
You do things your way, Man-boobs, I'll do them mine.
Hey! How's it going, Deepthroat? How does he know? Uh I was talking to you, buddy.
Paper, mister? No, thanks, Pre-pubes.
So that's the reason they call you Dick.
Yeah.
That's the reason.
Randy Mccormick! I'm gonna kill you, man! Aa-a-a-a-a-h! Wisp, you must follow the sphere of light to a land without color and rescue the seven color kids.
Once there, you will be forever known as Rainbow Brite.
Will you accept this mission? Yes, I will! Then follow the sphere of light.
Call it.
Time of death 4:15 p.
M.
Oh, no, our child! My baby! We'll never make another.
So, you're trying to tell me Venom did this to mask headquarters? Um Yes? Malarkey, Scott.
What really happened last night? Uh Whoo-hoo-hoo! Look at me! I'm in mask! Aa-a-a-a-a-h! Whoa-oh! This is the greatest day of my life! Whoo-hoo! You're grounded, mister.
Such an asshole! He's never had a mother, Sato.
Sato say good woman will do cooking and 69.
Oh, Sato, you're fantastically offensive.
A dating website? That could be a huge security risk, Matt.
Sorry, Hondo.
I just don't meet that many women.
Why don't you just date Gloria? Nnah.
I'm more of a chubby chaser.
Yeah, there's nothing like a big, hard wait.
What did you mean by chubby? Oh, Matt.
Wow! Bitchin' car! You ain't seen nothing yet.
Madre de dios! Dang! Does everything in this house transform? Yeah.
Watch this, baby.
Wow! Mmm! So all y'all have masks, huh? Don't I get a mask? Yeah, you sure do.
Darlene's pregnant, Sato! What am I gonna do? Sato say shotgun wedding is case of wife or death.
I do.
Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Now! Oh, my god.
Miles Mayhem?! He's the leader of Venom.
Ha ha ha! The joke's on you, Trakker! Now I have all your secrets, mask! Venom legally owns half your shit.
Just try and divorce me! But I put my you put your Oh, my god.
Sato say gay dinosaur called mega-sore-ass.
You'll have to bathe yourself from now on, Scott Trakker! Mom? What a plan! Nothing can stop us now! Yeah.
But wouldn't it have been easier to send me instead? I mean, I'm an actual chick.
Silence! # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk Bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk Bawk bawk # Ba-gawk! Bawk.
Grr.
Argh.
Blamo! Arrgh! It won't die.
No-o-o-o! Grr! Argh! Aah! Aah! Grr! My baby! Aah! Oh! Aah! Ohh! Oh, there is no God! Come on, Joss.
That's why you got kicked off "Wonder Woman.
" Grr! Argh!