See Dad Run (2012) s03e04 Episode Script

And after a deep, cleansing breath, clearing mind and body, assume tree pose, which remote, remote.
Overtime, overtime.
Overtime, overtime.
You're sitting on it.
Under butt, under butt.
Hey, look at you, doing yoga, relaxing.
Come on, change, change, change.
And it's good! What a comeback! I can't remember the last time I saw a game like this.
- And neither can I.
- You okay? Well, no.
Well, you gotta record the thing next time.
Oh, it's not the same, honey.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
So how was this afternoon with Emily and her friends? Uh, why do teenage girls have to sing everything? Everything.
Thanks for driving us it was totes awesome Totes blood coming out of both ears.
I'm not kidding.
Cheer up, sweetie.
All you have to do is just remind yourself Emily got her learner's permit.
That's right, dad.
I'm gonna be driving soon.
Can you guys believe it? Fantastic.
You know what you can do? You can chauffeur the spice girls around now.
You can chauffeur around off-key spice and tone-deaf spice.
Spice girls? We don't wanna cook, we wanna drive.
You're gonna look so super cute in your little chauffeur's hat and little white gloves.
First driving, and now a new outfit? Come on! If I get my license in June, summer road trip.
Dad, when can you take me out? I would do it now, Emily, but you don't wanna be rude to your friends.
- No, you can be rude.
- We're out.
Okay.
Yes, well, go get in the car you go get 'em, old spice.
Yeah, okay.
My hands are at 9:00 and 3:00.
My seat is adjusted just right.
Checking my rear view mirror.
Looks good.
How are your side view mirrors? Mine's good.
Yours has a man in it.
You should know that in this mirror, my hair is closer to perfection than it appears.
Okay.
Let's put her in drive and ease on down the road.
This is fun, daddy.
Can you even see over the wheel? Huh? Huh? Drifting, drifting, drifting.
I'm not drifting.
I'm in my Lane.
Ooh, too close, too close, too close.
Too close to what? Dad, you're making me nervous.
You think you can drive, private can't drive? The only thing you're driving is me crazy.
Now hit the asphalt and give me 20.
How am I supposed to learn when you're yelling at me? I'm not yelling school zone, school zone! It's Saturday! Come on, the evidence is hidden in the coffin.
Open the coffin.
Come on, Scooby, it's right in front of you.
Oh, you guys are watching Scooby, hmm.
And I'd be doing yoga, if it weren't for these meddling kids.
Every time I watch these shows, I always know whodunit.
I should be a detective.
Imagine how cool a rock collecting detective would be.
I really can't.
Hey, Joe, how about Janie and I hide Dr.
Monkey Chunks, and you can use your detective skills to find her? Ooh, that sounds like a great idea.
Yeah, go.
Go, go, go.
Go.
And with a deep, cleansing breath, visualize that you are an eagle soaring toward a peaceful horizon.
You're driving me crazy! Because your driving is crazy.
Amy, this child had me literally pulling out my hair.
My hair! How do you drive with him? All right, look, you can actually see scalp can't you, right here? Just just calm down, you guys.
It couldn't have been that bad.
She almost drove into the ocean.
If you mean I was headed to the beach parking lot to practice three-point turns, then yes.
A three-point turn? That was, like, a nine-point turn.
What are you talking about? It was like being in a tea cup at the amusement park.
Just just calm down.
Why don't I teach Emily how to drive, honey? Amy.
What's the problem? Well, listen, I don't know how to put this nicely, so, uh you've become a horrible driver.
It's true, mom.
I have been asked to alert the neighbors when you leave in the morning.
Yeah, they have a new thing here.
It called the "neighborhood watch-out program.
" Totally unjustified.
Yeah, I know that, but in the last ten months, you've gotten three tickets.
Gonna have to find some other poor sap to teach crash Gordon over here how to drive.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Look what just arrived your new driver.
Let me try it out.
Boom! What? Why you eyeballing me? What? I'm leaving a trail of banana peels so Joe can find her fast.
I don't want her to get hungry.
Don't worry, Janie.
She's already stuffed.
I love to hear a good monkey joke.
Know any? Tough crowd.
Okay, Joe, we're ready.
Detective hobbs, my monkey's missing.
I suspect foul play.
It was 2:00 P.
M.
in the city of angels.
Normally nap time, but no one was sleeping today.
Sounds like a classic monkey snatching.
Banana peels? Something's wrong here.
Go on, go on.
Detective Hobbs's keen sense of observation kicked in early.
We better throw these away before somebody slips and destroys vital evidence.
One thing was clear this case was gonna take a lot longer than expected.
Who are you talking to? Mm.
Hmm.
All right, good use of the turn signal.
Ifting-dray, ifting-dray.
All right, you're drifting a little bit.
Uh-huh, but that's cool.
Ease it back.
Nice.
Akebray, ake-bray.
Would you chill-yay and let me teach-yay? Don't even listen to him, Emily.
Stay in your zone, girl.
See, David, she's doing perfectly.
Now that I'm not nervous, everything's going great.
Okay.
I have to say that maybe I was a little bit too What the heck was that? You hit a bird.
It came out of nowhere.
Lots of things come out of nowhere.
Now what if that was something worse, like a dog or a squirrel Or a flying baby? Flying babies? Come on, David.
Flying babies? I've seen them.
They wear diapers.
They have little wings.
They carry a bow and arrow.
Are you talking about Valentine's day? The point is, she's not ready to drive, I was right.
- I - I can't do this.
I am walking home.
What? - What are you doing? You I-I'm hoofing it with you, Emily.
That's all right.
Look out for the flying babies.
Come on, David, you gotta think this through.
You gonna have to let her drive eventually.
Do I? Or do I buy her a guitar? What? You just said, "think this through.
" All right, I'm thinking it through.
Just hear me out here, okay? Emily and her friends like to sing, right? Right.
So I buy Emily a guitar.
They form a band.
They go on tour.
They get a tour bus.
What comes with a tour bus? Tour bus driver, come on.
Emily never has to sit behind the wheel of a car ever again.
It's foolproof.
Come on, David, every parent is scared of their child driving at first.
Don't you think you're being a tad irrational? What part about guitar, band, record deal, tour bus, driver, Emily never gets behind the wheel of a car ever again is irrational, Marcus? I just think you might have scared her with all that flying baby talk.
No, no, it's not just talk.
They're real.
And the point is, I didn't scare Emily.
She scared herself when she hit that bird.
I mean, things don't just drop out of the sky and land on your windshield.
Aah! - Whoa.
- What just fell out of the sky and hit the windshield? Look, man, I don't wanna be weird, but I think you just hit a flying monkey.
The the monkey hit me.
What is it with this neighborhood and all the flying stuff? Oh, no.
Janie's gonna flip when she sees this.
Oh! The heck was monkey Chunks doing in the tree? I mean, she just came out of nowhere.
Oh, yeah, hm.
Where did I hear that before? I know where you're going with this, Marcus, but I-I can't let Emily see this either.
I mean, it was the best argument I had against her driving.
We gotta hide this thing.
Joe, I don't mean to do your job for you, but maybe the banana peels are a clue.
Kevin, don't you think I know the difference between a clue and what is clearly trash? Now please, can we get back to finding Monkey Chunks? And what do monkeys eat, inspector clueless? At the zoo, I know they eat peanuts.
Bananas.
They eat bananas.
Oh, then this trail can only mean one thing.
Dr.
Monkey Chunks is right here in this tree.
You did it, Joe.
Wait, Dr.
Monkey Chunks is gone.
You didn't do it, Joe.
What happened? I put her right in that branch.
Dad, did you guys happen to see what, a monkey fall out of a tree? Like that would ever happen, right, Marcus? Do you know what this means? I have a real missing monkey case to solve.
Don't worry, Janie, I won't quit until I find her.
She's as good as gone.
Yeah, sorry, David, there's no monkey cleaner under the sink.
Invent monkey cleaner, get richer, and move away from David.
Did we ever do an episode where my character ran over a stuffed animal? The closest was episode 173, when you ran over a stuffed turkey.
The family had to have Thanksgiving Sushi instead.
Yeah, listen.
I ran over Monkey Chunks.
No, just relax.
I need you to take this to "repair a bear" and get it back to Janie before detective Joe picks up my scent.
Okay, I'm on it.
And, uh, Joe won't be a problem.
If he had a detective show it would be called, Joe should not be a detective.
No way.
I can't believe it.
Duck.
Get the monkey.
That must've been scary.
A little.
Emily, are you sure you're okay? Me? I'm fine.
But the bird's a little shaken up from hitting us, and my dad is completely freaked.
I'd be freaked out too, seeing a bird drive a car.
It's not about the bird.
My dad's just scared about me driving.
What's so scary about driving? Ugh.
Exactly.
Nothing.
He's just being totally irrational and taking away the one thing I have always wanted to do in life drive.
Well, we gotta do something to change his mind.
We've gotta fight the man.
Oh, I never knew who "the man" was before.
It's your dad.
The case of missing Monkey Chunks takes an unexpected turn, as the plot thickens like a midnight fog blanketing the sleeping city.
Who is he talking to? You know, Marcus, it just occurred to me Emily was right.
I was acting a little irrational.
You used to do that to me on the show.
I would say something, you wouldn't listen.
Someone else would say it, then it would occur to you.
I have to fix this with Emily.
- Yeah, you should.
- Yeah.
Hey, you know what else just occurred to me? I should invent monkey cleaner.
That's, like, an untapped market.
Emily.
Dad, if this isn't about you suddenly changing your mind and letting me drive, I don't think we have anything to talk about.
Well, that's exactly what this is about.
Didn't think so.
Wait.
What? I'm sorry about before in the car.
I um, I overreacted a little bit, and Even though there are such things as flying babies.
Like the ones on Valentine's day? Yes.
Thank you, Olivia.
I-I'm gonna try to be a better teacher.
Okay, I mean, I know how important driving is to you, so I'm willing to give it another shot.
- You are? - Yeah.
Oh, I mean, cool.
Thanks, dad.
- You're welcome.
- Mr.
hobbs.
- Yes? - You're not "the man.
" You're the man! Oh.
Back on! - Yay! - Bye, em! And Emily, anytime you want to, um, you know, go try it again, you just let me know.
Totally, but, uh, not now, because, you know, the bird.
Right.
Please tell me they're giving away bumpers at the bank.
You guys are right.
I'm a terrible driver.
I don't get this, Amy.
I mean, when you were driving the kids around, you were a really good driver.
The wheels on the bus go round and round round and round, round and round The wheels on the bus go round and round - Well, what happened today? - I don't know.
I'm on the road, minding my own business.
Minding my own minding my own business Ah, come on! Pick a Lane, buddy.
I-I don't know what my problem is.
Am I getting older? I mean, is it my eyesight? Am I shrinking? Is that even possible? Guys, gather around.
There's been a break in the Monkey Chunks case.
Well, well, well.
Here we all are.
You just called us here, Joe.
Oh, right.
That's because I just stumbled upon exhibit "a.
" Dr.
Monkey Chunks! Who did this to you? Like a monkey could talk.
And even if they could, they're notorious liars.
But the evidence will reveal the truth.
You didn't take her to "repair a bear," did ya? I tried, David, but I have one question.
Did you, in fact, make that place up? Notice the tire tread across her face, which means she was either run over by a tire or she went to a tire festival with a tire tread face-painting booth.
I was leaning towards tire festival.
But then I discovered There is no such thing as tire festivals.
Which led me to one conclusion.
Dr.
Chunks was run over in our driveway By one of us.
All right, I confess.
It must've been me.
- Mommy! - Amy! I'm the worst driver in the world.
Apparently, I run over everything.
Oh, honey, I am so, so sorry.
Well, mom, you were suspect number one, until I saw exhibit "C.
" The tire tread pattern on Chunks's face is from a different car Dad's car.
Okay, I did it.
Kevin! How could you? David? Go on.
You know what you did.
Uh, I took Dr.
Monkey Chunks and rubbed her fur against David's tire tread.
I'm so sorry.
Please don't ask me any more questions, because that's where my story falls apart.
You're right.
Your story makes no sense to me.
That's because I did it.
Emily? I'm so sorry, Janie.
I don't really care anymore.
Somebody end this case, please.
That's right, I wanted to drive so badly, I stole the car after my curfew and drove above the speed limit with my hands at 12:00 and 6:00.
Yeah.
If you were any kind of parents, you would never let me drive again! Emily.
Ha! I knew all along it was her.
And that's how it's done.
Yeah, you've got a real future in this.
Why did you confess to something that you didn't do? How do you know I didn't do it? Because I did it.
- You did? - Yeah, I the thing just came out of nowhere.
What's going on? I don't want to drive anymore, dad.
What? I-I thought driving was, like, the most important thing in your life.
I'm scared.
You know, after that bird hit my windshield, I realized there are so many things on the road that I can't control.
Anything could go wrong with Joe or Janie or my friends in the car.
Or mom or you.
Wait, so your mom gets top billing? It's just gonna be so embarrassing telling my friends I'm scared.
- Well, then don't.
- What do you mean? You are not allowed to drive, young lady, because your cool father is not so cool after all.
- Really? - Yes.
I'm the worst guy ever.
Thank you, daddy.
All right.
Yeah, well, you know that that bird's gonna fly again, right? Yeah, I think its wing is healing.
I don't mean that bird.
I know.
Okay.
So listen, any time you wanna go give this another shot, you let me know.
No pressure.
- I will.
- Okay.
I never thought we would've topped yesterday's game, but here we are, heading into triple overtime.
Yes! Dad, I think I'm ready.
Are you sure you don't need another Oh.
All right, yeah.
Let's do this.
Emily, you got this.
Thanks, daddy.
- Bird! - Aah! Aah!