Tangled: The Series (2017) s03e04 Episode Script

1 (theme song playing) I got the wind in my hair and a fire within 'Cause there's something beginning I got a mystery to solve and excitement to spare That beautiful breeze blowing through I'm ready to follow it who knows where And I'll get there, I swear With the wind in my hair Okay, everyone.
After the Saporian attack, this kingdom could use a real pick-me-up.
And what better way to bring everyone together than with a community project? (cheering) With a little hard work, and a whole lot of Corona spirit, we can rebuild this kingdom.
So, let's do it! - (laugh) Yes! - Okay! Let's do this thing! RED: Hey! I have the artistic eye! - You dip, I paint! - (indistinct arguments) (both growl) (arguments continue) I know this is typically your thing, sunshine, but if you're trying to bring everyone together, maybe grueling manual labor isn't the best idea? (chop) Don't think of it as grueling manual labor.
Think of it as creativity through destruction.
(loud rumbling) Oh, now look what you made me do! That was your fault, you loafer! - Loafer!? I've never been so insulted! - Feldspar! Old Lady, uh, Mrs.
Crowley, let's not fight! Yes, we were supposed to keep that wall, but hey! This just gives us more work to do together.
(both groaning) This is why Crowley works alone.
(clears throat) I'll go get glue.
(wall clatters) (coughing) "Here lies King Herz Der Sonne's lost treasure"? (laughing) You guys, wait! This is an honest to goodness treasure map! I have heard the legend of Herz Der Sonne's lost treasure.
It is said to be buried in his crypt.
- The tale begins millennia ago - Uh, Xaves, bottom line us, would you? She's right.
It's a map.
This is just the thing to bring everyone together! How many of you have ever dreamed of having a treasure of untold riches? Mm untold riches.
Now, this is living.
Don't you agree, Lance made of caviar? I'll take them all.
- (neighing) - (laughing) (neighing) We are holding a Corona-wide race for the lost treasure of Herz Der Sonne! (cheering) But, wait! It gets better.
Because this is about having fun together, everyone will be racing with a partner! (all groaning) Who picks our partners? Ah, ah! Not who What.
Couldn't we have just pulled names out of a hat? Oh, but it is a hat! I call it the "Horotory Or HAT.
(squeaking) (snort, grunting) (bell ringing) (hammering) (clicking) (clicking, cranking) And our first team is Stan and Pete! Stan and Pete! - Angry! - PETE: What? This is an outrage! It's Stan and Pete.
Everyone knows it's always Stan and Pete! Yeah! And I don't wanna be paired up with some dopey guard.
You're not paired up with some dopey guard.
You're paired up with Oh (clicking, clanking) Pascal and Max! Aw, cute! - (squeak) - (snort) (squeal) (nicker) (clank) Xavier and Varian! Ruddiger and Hamuel! (caw) - (squeak) - RAPUNZEL: Eugene and, of course, Lance.
(laughing) Are you kidding me? Me and Lance together, searching for treasure? - Just give it to us right now, folks.
- RAPUNZEL: And finally Me and Feldspar! (laugh) Up high, Feldspar.
Come on! Oh please, don't hit me! Oh! Oh, I get it.
It's a a gesture of camaraderie.
Well, then I'm all in.
Up high, woo-hoo! Ow.
Okay, everyone! Take a good look at the map.
Be sure to memorize it because you cannot take it with you.
It's up to you and your partner, or, heh, should I say, your new bestie, to find your way to the treasure.
(church bell ringing) (heroic music playing) (squeaking) (squeaking) (both growl) (chattering) (caw) (music continues) On your mark, get set - (cannon blasts) - (caw) Treasure! It's sad, really.
All these people getting their hopes up, when Lance and I are, - (laugh) obviously, going to win.
- Oh.
I'll tell you what will be sad.
The look on your face when me and my partner get to the treasure first.
Right, Feldspar? FELDSPAR: Ooh! (groaning) Does anyone have any butter? (grunt) - Ah, thank you.
- You guys are gonna do just fine.
- In second place.
- (mocking laughter) Laugh now, but Feldspar and I are gonna be a force to be reckoned with.
Right, Feldspar? - Feldspar? - FELDSPAR: Wouldn't you just know it? I did it again.
VLAD: Unicorns, unicorns, unicorns, unicorns, unicorns Uh Feldspar? I appreciate how excited you are, but you really don't need to pack much.
Wow! What do you have in there? Well, shoes, mostly, and of course, shoe polish, shoe horns, shoe laces Uh, you know what? Uh, why don't you fill me in on the way? We are, ugh, already behind.
Yes, yes, you're right.
Don't worry.
We're going to win! After all, we're the only team with a map.
What?! Where did you get that? I took an impression of the map.
No, no.
We can't use the map.
That's cheating.
Well, that's one word for it.
(sigh) What's another word for it? W-w-what do I look like, a thesaurus? Feldspar, come on.
We can win this fair and square.
We don't need a map.
You know what? You're right.
And when you're right, you're right.
We can, nay, we must win this using nothing but our wits! (body thuds) FELDSPAR: So, wagon wheel, we meet again.
You know (panting), I can't help but wonder why I have to push you in a wheelbarrow.
Because I'm not big enough to push you in a wheelbarrow.
- Now, hurry! - Oh, I get it now.
(wind blowing) Hm, a northerly wind is coming.
(rumbling) If only there were a way to catch its mighty draft, and use it to our advantage.
W-wait! The Saporians use hot air balloons.
Uh, I know how to build one! (chuckle) That reminds me of a legend of a mighty balloon.
In days of yore, an intrepid traveler ventured into the sky (panting) (whinny) - (growls) - (cawing) - (pecking) - (buzzing) (snickering) - (buzzing) - (chirping) (Max caws) (grunting) (bees buzzing) (scuffle) (pained squeaking) (cawing) (sniffing) Yep.
It's what I was afraid of.
What we got here is a good, old-fashioned Corona sap pond.
Okay, kid, to cross this, we'll need expert timing, balance, and agility.
Now, fortunately, I've got the training Later, Pete! Woo-hoo! Oh.
Okay.
Pete, your time to shine.
Ah (gurgling) (clears throat) Another tea cake? - Why not? - Yeah.
It's not like we're in a hurry.
Say, is that a new watch? Why, yes it is, old chap.
I bought it with some of the gold we're going to be getting from the treasure.
(chuckle) Good for you.
Some days, you just gotta treat yourself.
Speaking of the treasure though, old buddy, maybe we'd better not take this race lightly.
I mean, after all, everyone in Corona is competing.
(laughing) I'm sorry! I just had to go there.
I know, I know.
It's the oldest joke ever, but I couldn't help myself! And I just can't keep a straight face.
We are so gonna get that treasure first.
(laugh) Ah, you said it.
Ah! Food coma, here we come.
I'm way ahead of you, bud.
- (birds chirping) - (slicing) (chomp) (humming, chewing) (giggling) Mm.
(swallowing) (swallowing) - Feldspar! - (swallow) Are you, um, almost done? Oh, I'm so sorry, but Mother always said, "Never treasure hunt on an empty stomach.
" Uh, couldn't you have eaten some nuts on the way or something? Did we have to stop so you could fry a pork chop? (squeaking) Well, yes.
(chuckle) Wait, Feldspar, is that your map? Might as well use it for something, huh? Oh, this says, "beware the crypt.
" Ah! What are you talking about? You can read this? Well, I'm fluent in Saporian, of course.
The Saporians invented the wingtip loafer.
Don't you know? Any cobbler worth his shoehorn knows Saporian.
I will be honest, I did not know that.
- What else does it say? - (clears throat) "All who claim the treasure shall be made to banana.
" Made to banana? Oh, what am I thinking? "Zarothay" is banana.
"Zarotho" means, - "suffer an eternity of doom.
" - You mean, I just sent my entire kingdom to their doom? Well, suddenly frying a pork chop isn't the worst thing one of us has done today.
We have to get there first, so we can stop the others from disturbing the crypt.
- Here, gimme the map.
- But you said that would be cheating.
- Feldspar! - Okay, fine! But, can I at least finish my parfait Ooh! Unicorns! Unicorns! Unicorns! Unicorns! Unicorns Excuse me.
I couldn't help but notice you're rifling through my personal effects? Hey, Captain Stache, look around.
We're losing.
I'm looking for anything that might give us a leg up.
You brought a spare uniform? A good soldier never travels without an extra uniform.
Good idea! Ha! This is so great! I feel like a bird! (chuckle) Indeed.
Have you heard of the legend of the Lone Birdman of Swandalay? No Uh, well, no, but, um The ancient people of Swandalay were actually a seafaring tribe.
Hey, look! Someone needs help! VARIAN: Hold on! We're almost there! - Huh? - (burner roars) Hey! What are you doing? Looks like we're winning! You're playing dirty! There's nothing in the rules that says we can't be smarter than you! (sigh) She reminds me of the legend of Perpetua Demosthenese, the young girl who thought she was smarter than all of those around her.
(chuckle) (quiet squeak) (angry squeaking) (chattering) (squeak) (splat) (Max caws) PETE: I know how this looks, kid, okay? But rest assured, I-I have this under con Oh, that is that a Well, that's a lot of Oh, can you pry off some bramble? - Shoo! Shoo! (sigh) - (bird chirping) (grunting) SHORTY: Outta the way, slow boats! (laughing) - Whoa! - (splat) This is why Crowley works alone.
(brambles snapping) Okay, Feldspar.
We will never catch them on foot.
Time for a new tactic.
Ugh, think, Rapunzel! Think, think, think.
What did you say was in your bag? And so goes the legend of the Wise Man's Dummy.
RAPUNZEL: Woo-hoo! Where'd they come from?! How are they moving so fast? I've never felt so alive! Wait, she has a map.
Hey! You're cheating! Using a map is cheating indeed.
Which reminds me of The Legend of The Cheating Willows Enough with the legends! (chirping) If only my mother could see me now! PETE: Huh? (gasp) She has a map! Well, two can play at that game.
You have a map? No, I do not.
SHORTY: It's okay, buddy.
(snickering) - (squeaking) - FELDSPAR: Faster! Faster! Whoa! (confused chittering) - (yelp) - (thud) (cawing) - (bees buzzing) - (yelping, cawing) I'm free as a bird is what I would be saying, if you hadn't steered us into a tree! You know, I'm starting to get why they call you Angry.
FELDSPAR: Woo-hoo! You might say I'm on a roll! - (laughing) - (Angry gasps) - She's got a map! - Hey! Cheaters! (snoring) - Lance! - Who?! What?! Where?! We have overslept.
If we don't hurry, we're not gonna win that treasure! Ah! Caviar Lance! RAPUNZEL: (panting) This is it! We made it here first! All right.
I'll block the entrance.
- STAN: Hey! Cheaters! - For shame! I'll block the entrance from here, if that's all right.
You're cheaters! Yeah, that's right! I but you're one to talk! You stole our balloon! That was well within the rules! SHORTY: Turn me around so I can get in on this! (all arguing) Stop fighting and listen! No one can take that treasure! It's cursed.
Why should we listen to a cheater?! - Yeah! - Right! I'm not a cheater! Okay, you could make an argument that I did cheat, but it was to save your lives! Hey! The girl's got the treasure! PETE: No, wait, wait, wait! Stop! Listen to me, everyone, please! It says right here, if you claim that treasure, we are all doomed! (grumbled murmuring) Yoink! - Whoa.
- No! Eugene, don't! (magic swirling, roaring) - (growl) - (all yelling) What did you do? VARIAN: Oh, 10 on the doom scale! 10 on the doom scale! (magic humming) (creaking) (screech) (screeching) Oh! The legend is true! The Undead Protectors of Herz Der Sonne's Treasure - have risen! - What? You know, next time, lead with the, the high doom ratio legend! - (screeching) - Eugene, put the lid back on.
(screeching) We have to put it back where it belongs! - (screech) - (grunt) (screeching) (Eugene grunts) Wow! I pack quite a punch.
- (screeching) - (grunt) Ah, ah, ah! Man, this is weird.
Whoa! - (screech) - Oh, please! I am but a humble shoe man! (screaming) (screeching) So much for bringing the kingdom together.
It is not too late to do that, Feldspar.
We are getting out of this, together.
Everyone! Our only chance out of this is to put that treasure back on its altar.
So, let's show these mummies what Corona spirit can do! (cheering) (screeching) (groans) (screeching) (grunting) Ha! (growling) Outta the way! Coming through! Oh, Eugene! Ee Yah! (screech) - (nickering) - (squeaking) - (cawing) - (buzzing) (laughing) - (gasp) - (screech) Ah, returned from the grave, I see.
Much like the Mummy of Questiana, or so the story goes.
You see, there was once a mummy who Okay, Feldspar, time to separate the steel-toed boots from the galoshes.
Aaaaaaah! Feldspar, what are you doing? Princess! Need a lift? (gasp) Feldspar! (grunt) You're a genius! (screeching) (magic humming) (screeching) (groaning) (screeching) - (cheering) - EUGENE: We did it! FELDSPAR: I did it.
All right, we did it, but I did it mostly.
(squishing) Not bad for a big dopey guard.
(chuckling) Thanks! You know wait a minute.
Good job, Xavier.
Yes.
You too, Varian.
You know what, hey, Xaves? I-I just realized something.
You, uh, you never finished The Legend of the Cheating Willows.
Really? Well, it is a rather long story.
- I got time.
- (chuckle) Well, The Cheating Willows is a story that begins over And so, it is my honor to present to you our brand new throne room.
- (impressed murmuring) - Well, the treasure hunt didn't go quite how I planned, but it did bring everyone together.
(sigh) Even if I never got to meet (sniff) Caviar Lance, it was still exciting.
You know, sunshine, I think it all kinda turned out well for everyone.
(indistinct chatter) OLD LADY CROWLEY: Is anybody there? Hello? Oh-oh, oh-oh Now I got my eyes open and wide My heart burnin' like fire Feels like I'm so alive I'm never going back Whatever I want now, I'm gonna chase Who I am I can't contain it I'm not gonna hold it in 'Cause there's more of me to give Oh yeah, there's more of me to give