The Almighty Johnsons (2011) s03e04 Episode Script

1 I have Natalie Mather here.
- Who is? - From Oslo.
Whoa.
Jesus, Natalie.
Here I am, Axl Johnson, 23, part Odin but mostly nothing much.
Geez, I can't even pay my rent.
Do you know the other thing that hurts the most? That my own brother shafted me.
Anders: You need to know that I'm not proud of what's happened here.
- You need to go before I punch you in the face.
- What? I'm trying to make things right, okay? I'm trying to restore our brotherly Anders, just go.
Okay, I don't get the aggression here.
I'm doing my best.
Go.
As long as the end of it is, we kick his ass out of this family.
Get your shit together and stop fucking up other people's wives.
I give up on you.
Talk to somebody whose job it is to care.
And you don't give a shit that Axl's now steering down a long, dark tunnel and not seeing a way out.
There's no way that Axl would top himself.
He's not that tragic.
Get down now! You may think that being a god makes you god's gift to women.
But no! Because I have no girlfriend at all! You have a job.
Best fun ever.
Geez, Axl, could you be any louder? You're the ones who decided to live in a building site.
Not me, not my choice.
Go, go.
I'll be up soon.
Should I throw the beam ? Yeah, I did the bracing last night so we should be good to go.
It's official, Mike.
As of this morning, there is not a part of me that doesn't hurt.
I know, thanks to your running commentary through the night.
Because I couldn't sleep.
The bed situation is less than ideal but it won't be for long.
My clothes, they all have dust and grit all through them no matter how many times I wash them.
Yeah, another thing I am well aware of.
My hair feels like someone tips a bucket of sawdust in it every night.
Well, if you would have kicked your tenant out, we wouldn't have to be here.
- I told you, I can't do that.
- Then this is it, babe.
Axl.
What are you doing?! Axl! - No, no, no! - Axl! Is everyone okay? Morning, morning glory.
What? Dawn, morning glory's my new pet nickname for you.
I thought of it this morning when I woke up when I was Trust me, it's a compliment.
Hey, what's this? That was here when I walked in this morning.
I assumed it was yours.
No, it's not mine.
What's in it? I haven't touched it and I'm not psychic.
- Open it.
- No.
You open it.
- It's on your desk.
You open it.
- As your boss, I order you to open it.
What are you scared of, Anders? Snakes in my flat, dying alone, unexplained briefcases.
Just please.
Whoa.
First instalment of what? Hopefully, many more.
From who? For what? Dawn, It's a briefcase full of money.
Does it matter? Anyone that does business with a briefcase full of money, - we don't want their business.
- I do.
- You can't meet them.
- Sure I can.
What if it's a trap? Now you're trying to use my natural tendency towards caution.
- Cowardice.
- Against me, are you? It's not going to work, Dawn.
What if this is bait to lure you? Then consider me lured.
I thought if I did a cut part way through, it'd save us time bringing it down later.
- You got that bit right.
- I said sorry like a hundred times already.
See these shoes? I love them more than I will ever love you.
It's not entirely all my fault.
You did the bracing.
I braced everything around the beam so it wouldn't come down when the beam was gone.
Now, did anything but the beam fall down? No, it did not.
- Did you learn nothing all those years at tech? - Clearly not.
Just quit your sulking, tidy up your mess while we look for somewhere else to live.
Come on.
No.
You have one person living in a two bedroom place.
Yeah.
Trust me.
She takes up the whole house.
Unless you've got some other suggestions 'cause I'm fresh out of ideas.
Okay.
But there's one thing you need to know about my tenant.
She's my mother.
- Okay, you never mentioned that.
- No, I didn't, because I don't like talking about my mother.
This here, marginally worse than what awaits.
Michelle, darling.
Oh, so glad you came to your senses.
Your room is ready and waiting.
And you must be the mysterious man who's been keeping my girl from me.
- Mike.
- Karen.
Come in.
Come in.
- Do you know what we should do? - No.
Have a little get together to celebrate you coming home.
Don't stoop.
You look like a vulture when you stoop.
Speaking of home, any chance you'll be going back to yours soon? I don't think so.
Between you and me, I've met someone.
Michelle tells me you're doing the renovation yourself.
As a builder, that's what I do.
Building's an honourable trade.
Suits me.
Aside from that, Michelle really has told me very little about you, Mike.
Most remiss of her.
Well, she's told me very little about you, Karen.
Not even you're a goddess.
You're one of us? You should have told me.
After last time, pass.
I got on well with her last boyfriend Better than Snappy here as it turned out.
Snappy? Her father and I called her Snappy as a child.
She loved crocodiles and had a temper like one.
Please, shoot me now.
The last boyfriend being Colin, I take it.
Loki, yes.
Had him on the phone you know.
In pain.
Kneeing on the privates like that, you could have done some serious damage.
That was the idea.
I'm "Livin".
Ullr.
Interesting symmetry.
How so? Ooh, well, I love parties and you're good at games.
We will have great fun being under the same roof.
It should be a blast.
- Man: What are you doing in my house?!! - Shit.
For fuck sake.
My favourite little Johnson.
How the devil are you? You obviously got my present.
Counterfeit money, I presume.
Ha.
That didn't even cross my mind.
But it would have been hilarious, you trying to bank a whole swag of counterfeit dosh.
You say hilarious, I say prison.
And that is an example of just the kind of intuitive thinking that I am after and why I need you.
You need me? Yes, Anders.
I am in need of you.
Okay, I know I'm going to regret asking this but why? Because in the not too distant future, I want all of this to be mine.
- You want to own the city? - Of course.
But for now, I just want to borrow it for a few years.
I'm running for mayor.
What's so funny about that? - Why? - Because Auckland deserves a mayor like me.
- No, it doesn't.
- Yes, it does.
- Why on earth do you want to be mayor? - Because it would be fun! All those pies I can get my fingers into.
Always financially lucrative pies.
Pick a reason.
The important thing is, Anders, that you and I together can rule this city like gods which we are, over those mere mortals who count for nothing in the great expanse of things.
Mere mortals who are going to have a (Unclear) brain explosion and vote you in.
With your help.
My help how? Your intelligence, your contacts, your - boyish good looks.
- Hm.
My Braginess? What better way to put your powers to the test than by bending a whole city to your will? On your behalf.
But you will be the force behind the throne.
Bring forth the baubles of power.
Bless you.
Such an ass man, Anders.
You an ass man? - Okay, before you start trying to bribe me - I've already started bribing you, with the first briefcase.
You burned my brother's house down.
I thought you had balls, Anders.
I thought you had pizzazz.
I thought you liked briefcases full of money.
It seems I was wrong.
Seems you're in fact a gaylord like your brother Mikkel.
I am giving you the opportunity to live the dream.
Instead, Mike's got you choking on a leash.
- Never.
- Really? Prove it.
Prove it.
A little something to help you mull things over.
Call me when you've grown a pair.
What the fuck? Oh, nice to see you again.
Linda, isn't it? - Nice and uplifting, Reverend.
- Thank you.
- Go with god.
- I will.
The thing that sucks is that they're actually not bad people.
It's a pity we have to kill them.
Smite, Stacey.
Smite's what we do to our enemies.
Mike's not here.
- Did he say when he'd be back? - Axl: No.
- It's important we talk to him.
- I don't know when he'll be back.
- No idea whatsoever? - No.
- Except now.
- Mike, we found them.
- I found them.
- Olaf: Stacey found them.
'Cause not only is she flexible, cute and creative, she's part bloodhound.
Sorry, found who? - The god hunters.
- You remember them, the ones who want us dead.
Well, they're here.
And what is more, they're ready to try again.
How the hell did you find them? By ignoring you, for starters.
For someone who travelled all the way from Norway to slaughter us, she sure travelled light.
Don't overthink it, Stacey.
Some people travel light, is all I was saying.
So after I ignored Michelle, - I started with Norway.
- You went all the way to Norway? No, Ingrid.
I phoned Norway.
Linda has never heard of anyone named Natalie Mather, surprise, surprise.
- I was a teeny bit surprised.
- It's okay, babe.
So next stop, the car.
She followed Anders and when he stupidly led her to us Before Michelle and I trashed it and set fire to it, I got the (Unclear).
And guess who it was registered to? Natalie Mather.
Well done.
It's a gift.
So she brought her car all the way from Norway? Close.
Brown's Bay.
That's just over the bridge.
That's on the other side of the bridge.
Stacey: Yes, Ingrid, it is.
- That's not close to Norway at all.
- The point is, Ingrid, the (Unclear) led me to an address and then to a house and the house led me to Bevin.
Hi.
Package for Natalie Mather.
She here? No.
Will she be back? I need her to sign for it.
I don't know.
I'm not sure if she'll ever be back.
Oh.
Okay.
Um, and you are? Bevin Mather, her husband.
Okay, that'll be fine.
You can sign for it.
In the package was her Bible, the one that I found in her hotel room.
That's nice, returning a treasured possession.
Talk about turning the other cheek.
No, Ingrid.
I was sending a message that she's gone.
Ashes to ashes.
Okay.
And it's cruel.
Well, They did kill Helen.
Tough Titty.
I wanted to see what would happen.
It turns out nothing much happened for quite a while.
- Hey.
- What, what? He's coming.
Go, go! It turns out that Natalie and Bevin are members of the Congregation of the New Church of the Open Arms.
- And they're the ones hunting us? - Yes.
And no.
It's like a terror cell operating within the open arms of the Open Arms.
Stacey: We think there are six of them.
Sorry.
So this thing we're supposed to be terrified by is actually just six nut bars from the north shore? Seven, before Loki incinerated one of them.
Who did manage to take out Idunn and nearly Ullr and Bragi.
Let's not forget that.
- How'd they know about us? - Unknown.
- How do you know all this? - Good surveillance work.
And also a little bit of undercover work.
My idea.
Stacey: I'd say the whole undercover thing was about 50% successful.
What if god was only invented to stop people from believing in other gods who actually do exist? - Have you thought about that? - Yes.
- And we call that blasphemy.
- Olaf: Fascinating.
What if we can't wait 'til the Wednesday meet? - What if we have to move now? - Okay, fine According to the church's website, the values and actions subcommittee meets every Wednesday at 2:00 p.
m.
Today's Wednesday.
Onto it, Ingrid.
Which means they will all be in the same place at the same time - this very afternoon.
- So we can smite them.
- What, Mike? - Tried calling you a few times.
Yeah.
I saw it was you and I ignored it.
Your presence is very much needed.
I'm at the office.
I'm snowed under.
You do realize it's futile lying to me about your whereabouts, right? Whatever.
I'm still incredibly busy.
Prick.
I take it Anders is out.
Oh, no, he's in.
He just doesn't know it yet.
There is the way where we don't need him.
Or any of us.
I know that on one level smiting goes against everything we believe in.
But it gets the job done.
All we have to do is tell Loki where they are.
- Ingrid: But that's mass murder.
- Olaf: Smiting in the old language.
- Stacey: They did murder one of us.
- An eye for an eye.
- Old school.
- Yeah, we kill one of them so the number of eyes is equal.
We're not sinking to that level.
Excuse me.
As Odin, the all-father, shouldn't I have a say in all this? Of course, my lord.
Speak.
I don't think bringing Colin into anything would ever be a good idea.
Odin's spoken.
Hold the smiting.
Your suggestion, my lord Odin? I think we should put the hardware on them.
Better us going in on our terms than waiting for them.
I concur.
- Good.
- With one addendum: we go and not you.
They kill you, they win.
- They won't kill me.
- It's not worth the risk, Axl.
- Excuse me.
I'm meant to be the one in charge here.
- And when people treat you like you're in charge, you'll be in charge.
But that is not yet.
Besides, you've got this to clean up.
- This is bull shit.
- Mike: No, it's the wise move, Axl.
And that's the way it's going to be.
Come on, stupid Odin power.
- Ah, screw you, beam.
I'm going home.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Sorry to interrupt your, um, conversation.
All good.
It wasn't important.
Didn't this used to be a bar? Yeah, my brother's.
He closed it.
I loved this bar.
Me too.
And I really, really need a drink.
Bad day? To put it mildly.
This has been my day so far.
Ooh, epic fail.
You should be proud.
True.
Too bad my boss/ brother doesn't feel the same.
Boss.
Don't even say the word.
You know, the thing about how this used to be a bar is that there's still heaps of booze left over, if you know where to look for it.
Plus it's free.
Which makes you my hero.
"Tansy".
Axl.
All that time the finger was being pointed at me for being the dumb ass that led them there and now we're like, what, over the bridge and 10 K away? - Seems so.
- I think I am owed a huge apology.
Too bad.
Get a move on.
- You can do this without me.
- No we can't.
- Get Loki to do his thing on them.
- That idea has been rejected.
- Oh what, by you? - By all of us.
Now get your butt outside and in the car 'cause we need you.
Get your girlfriend to do that thing where they'll (Unclear) each other senseless.
That'll keep them occupied.
- You're scared, Anders? - No.
Hey, you were the one at the top of the hit list.
News flash, bro.
You still are.
And if someone has to be sacrificed along the way, I go with that.
Okay, fine, I'll take my car and I'll meet you there.
Nice try.
You're riding with us.
- What are you doing? - Preparing for battle.
Like the berserkers of old.
Okay.
I'm driving.
No one drives my car but me.
Except all the times I've driven because you've been incapable.
Keys.
Push it back.
Put it in the back.
It's like we're some sort of - fellowship off on a quest.
- Not really.
Even worse than being a perv, he's this real right on perv who would be horrified to learn he's a perv.
Just so I know, what exactly qualifies as being a perv? Depends on the perv.
Okay.
There's bad touching.
Sure, you know.
Accidental boob brushing, hugs that overstay their welcome but mainly it's the vibe.
Some of the biggest pervs I ever met didn't come anywhere near me.
You just knew they were pervs.
All right.
Don't worry.
You're not a perv.
That's a relief.
But your boss is.
- Total perv.
- So what happened this morning? Nothing and everything.
I turned up to work a little bit late, a little bit seedy and generally just feeling like shit and he's all caring and huggy and worried about me and like invading my personal space.
And so I just You told him to back off and he fired you? I wanted to, I did.
But instead, I told him that I had a really bad period and he said I could go home for the rest of the day.
- Oh.
Okay.
- Which I don't, by the way.
That's cool.
I'm just pissed off that I wimped out.
But do you know what you would have said to him if you hadn't wimped out? Completely.
As I was walking from there to here in search of a drink, I perfected the whole thing.
Then go back and say it to him.
- You think? - Stuff happens to me all the time that pisses me off and it's not until afterwards that I realize what I should have said.
It's happened to me twice today already.
But you have the chance to go back and say those things.
You reckon? And if he fires you, just say it was 'cause of your period and I'm sure he'll "unfire" you.
Actually, I wouldn't mind being fired.
My job sucks.
Then what have you got to lose? Hi, I'm from Planet Defender.
Are you interested in saving the planet? It's less than a dollar a day.
That's not a bad price for a sustainable planet.
Okay.
Peace, mate.
So this is actually a job? - Commission is good.
- You get paid commission on saving the planet? Don't judge me.
Sorry.
So you remember what you rehearsed in your head? - Yep.
- Have a nice day.
I'll be right behind you, in a non-pervy way.
Got it.
I thought I told you to go home.
Keep your hands to yourself, you sad pervert.
And FYI, when a woman says she doesn't need a backrub, she doesn't want a backrub.
But as a trained massage therapist, that's how I help people.
Not this people and it's not a license for you to invade my personal space, Jake.
The only man that has that right is my boyfriend, Axl.
Yeah.
That's right.
So you can take your bogus job and shove it up your ass.
Did you put her up to this? So what if I did? Just because you're all right on and everything doesn't make it right.
- Yeah, but Tansy's our best fundraiser.
- Was, mate.
In case you hadn't noticed, she just walked.
Do you hate the planet? What? No.
Don't be stupid.
- You okay? - Thank you, Axl Johnson.
Hey, uh, as your boyfriend, it was the least I could do.
Sorry.
I don't know why I threw that in there.
- Just for effect, I guess.
- Not a problem whatsoever.
Let's do something that we weren't expecting to do when we woke up.
My whole day's been that.
- You got a car? - Yeah.
Well, sort of.
- It goes sometimes.
- Close enough.
- I think that's all of them.
- Anders: You think or you're sure? - Uh, pretty sure.
- That is very different from absolutely sure.
It doesn't matter.
Let's kick some god-bothering ass.
Promise me you won't attack unless attacked first.
Spoilsport.
We especially pray to those in peril, who have gone forth to cleanse the world in your name.
It's him.
The abomination.
- That's a bit harsh.
- Where is she? What have you done with my wife? Mike: Okay.
Okay, Just, just everyone calm down.
We're not here to hurt you.
We just want to talk, all right? - Demon.
- No, we're not demons.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
Can you please do something about him? Oh, don't be such a big baby.
Like, uh, couldn't we just take him outside but that will do, I suppose.
Church goers: Our Father, who art in heaven.
- Hallowed be thy name.
- Mike: No.
Not time for praying.
Time for answering questions.
Why are you trying to kill us? It is God's will.
Mike: How do you even know we exist? - What happened to Natalie? - Hey, she broke your arm once.
She'll do it again.
Tell me how you know.
My friend Gunnar, from our sister church in Norway.
We were at a study camp.
He's part of a group who live by the word of John.
- Which is? - "Many false prophets have gone into the world and they must be tested.
" Ah, no.
We're not prophets.
Far from it, actually.
- You are false gods.
- No.
We're actual gods.
We're just not your god.
How did you know these gods exist in New Zealand? There are stories in Norway passed down for centuries that the pagans were alive hiding among the people, then 150 years ago, they disappeared altogether.
It was assumed they had fled to America, until Gunnar's group heard of a man from New Zealand who had come to the north on some unholy task.
He was heard in bars and around town drunkenly claiming to be a god among men so they sent one of their number, Gunnar's sister to gain his trust and learn more.
She returned the next morning, no longer a virgin and with no understanding of how this shameful thing happened.
She was so devout, it must have been the work of Satan to deflower her.
Gunnar gave me the Devil's name: Anders Johnson.
Natalie and I swore to hunt him and his kind down.
If you have killed my beloved Natalie, then kill me too so that I may join her in God's everlasting love! Sorry.
That's not going to happen.
You.
You're up.
- Okay.
Firstly, in my defence - Not interested.
Just do your thing.
Okay, just you go go with them.
Okay.
Now, uh, on your knees.
Now, come on, before I get Stick Bitch to break more bones.
Look at me.
At me.
The idea that there are Norse gods or pagan gods or whatever gods walking the earth, this is crazy talk.
All right, that's complete religious nut job thinking.
So, from now on, when you think back to this day, what you will think is there are no false gods, there is only one true God and anyone who tells you otherwise is blaspheming.
And you, you need to know that your wife is with Jesus and you need to accept that and you need to move on accordingly.
Okay now, go home and do not mess with this stuff again, all right? Because this is no joke.
You saw what the stick goddess can do, all right, and that's just the start.
If you get what I just said, do uh do this.
Mike: Oh, Jesus, Anders.
I'm not angling for that job.
Not if it doesn't end well, but you guys keep worshiping the J.
man, okay? Or Michelle who is like some kind of vengeful god here.
- She'd love a good worship.
- Enough.
Okay.
Class dismissed.
Go forth and live good Christian lives and have lots of Christian babies.
That meet your quality control standards, Mike? Yes, Anders.
Grab the paperwork and take everything with us.
Oh, I think a round of applause is called for.
- Anders: Thank you.
- I meant for Stacey.
Ingrid: Oh yes.
Well done, Stacey.
Any messages, Dawn? You mean like new-business- flooding-in-the-door messages? No.
Now is not the time for your relentless positivity.
How did your meeting go with our briefcase benefactor? Well, that would be on a need-to-know basis.
Anders, there's two of us.
And you're the one that doesn't need to know.
As per usual.
Someone delivered a box.
It's on your desk.
Axl? Thanks for the help, mate.
What the fuck? I think we should get out now! Tansy! Tansy! - Tansy: Axl! - I'm coming.
You okay? That was intense.
- So you saw them too? - Saw what? The lights.
In the water.
I mean, how the sea turns like that.
But you saved my life.
You really are my hero.
Are we alone? - What? - There's no stray rooting around the place? - No.
It's just me.
- Okay.
We may or may not have a problem.
Okay, I was looking through the paperwork that we got from the church.
Some excellent genealogical research there by the way, which may or may not turn out to be useful depending on our problem.
Which is what, Ingrid? There was six of them that Anders did his thing on in the church, right? Yes.
Okay, well, according to the minutes of their meetings, and their minute keeping was exemplary by the way-- the Values and Action Committee consists of seven people, not including dead Natalie.
- So we missed one? - Yes, yes.
Yes, we did.
So, we find them and we send Anders in to do his thing again.
Well, it might be a little bit more complicated than that.
According to the minutes of today's meeting, the apology for the non-attendance was noted as doing "God's holy work.
" But more important was the first order of business was that Bevin moved that we pray for our "holy warrior currently on their sacred mission to avenge our fallen sister and rid the world of evil.
" - Axl.
- He's there in their genealogy.
- Oh shit.
- I'm sorry, I would have rung with this news but of course my phone hasn't got any credit and I don't have money for the-- Axl's voice: Hi, it's Axl.
If it's a matter of life and death, leave a message.
Otherwise whatever.
Hey, call me as soon as you get this.
Fuck! I'm a bit tired.
I might just stay here.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, sure.
Great.
Are you crying? (Scoffs) No.
- Um, are you in pain or something? - No! Sorry, I just, uh, kind of drifted.
Are you inside me and thinking about some other chick? No.
I'm sorry, I just I couldn't help it.
You're the first girl I've been with since Gaia.
I don't need to know her name.
I don't want to know her name.
I'm really sorry, sorry like you wouldn't believe, because - I really like you, Tansy.
- No, no, I'm not that girl, Axl.
I'm not the one who'll fix whatever's broken inside that head of yours.
But I thought we, you know, connected.
Yeah, we had fun.
You helped me, you saved me.
We I thought a good fuck would be a nice way to end the day for both of us.
But you've clearly got issues and I'm not the one to solve them.
Sorry.
- Axl? - In his room, but a definite do not disturb.
- Mike: Axl.
- What the fuck? - You okay? - I have no idea.
Who the fuck are you? - I'm his brother.
- Oh, this is your boss brother.
You suck as a boss.
- Sorry, and you are? - The one leaving.
The next girl you save, Axl maybe she'll be the one.
Hey.
Dream on.
This may seem like a strange question, but has anything out of the ordinary happened to you today? Mike, you could throw a dart at any day of my life and the answer to that question would be yes.
Okay, has anyone tried to kill you today? Only if you count the ocean.
Why? We missed a god hunter, the one on a mission to kill one of us.
Not me.
Although I could be guilty of a similar crime if you don't get here soon.
No! No way did we miss one.
Yeah.
Yeah we did.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm okay.
- What about Olaf? - Yeah, he's definitely okay.
Well, nice of you to warn me, Mike.
Yeah, don't be a dickhead all your life.
A simple yes or no, is there any sign of anyone coming after you? Uh, not in the murder sense, no.
Don't you be a dick all your life, Mike.
They're all okay.
What about Ty? - Well, he's not a god.
- Yeah, but do they know that? Thrust into hell Satan and all his evil spirits.
Come on, Ty, answer, answer, answer, answer.
Hello? Has anything out of the ordinary happened to you today? - Define out of the ordinary.
- Has anyone tried to kill you today? I'm pretty sure I'd notice if someone was trying to-- Ty? Ty, are you okay? Okay, man, you really have got the wrong person.
I am not what you seek! Put the knife down, okay? Put it down! No more pissing around.
It's alright, brother.
I've got your back, man.
- I've got your back.
- Mike: Ty! It's okay, Mike.
Under control.
Thanks for the heads up.
Ty's okay.
That's good.
- The ocean attacked you? - Yeah, check it out Jellyfish? Do jellyfish glow and move really fast? So, after I smashed this dude, I had to, like, hold him down until the cops finally came.
The cops took ages to come, eh? Yeah, about three or four minutes.
Yeah, which seems way longer when you're dealing with a psycho.
And this guy's a real psycho too.
I mean, when the cops finally did show up and he came around, he started mouthing all this shit to Ty.
If he was unconscious, why were you lying on top of him? Well, just in case, of course.
He had a knife, Stace.
You know? I mean, and this guy was way off the planet too, I mean when the cops finally took him away, he started mouthing all this shit at Ty about being Satan or something.
- Wow, that's pretty out there.
- Yeah, he was yabbering on in some weird language, Greek or something.
This is Ty we're talking about.
He might be Satan in the sack, but I wouldn't know, would I? Oh, sweet, the designated driver's here.
Hi.
Hey, gorgeous.
It's Ty's first road rage.
- As in he got angry while cycling? - Uh, not quite.
No, no, some guy went loco on Ty's ass.
Trashed his bike and tried to take him out too, so I stepped in.
Wow.
You okay? Marginally better than my bike.
I was just lucky Lance was there.
God's honest truth, my friend.
Dawn, would you like a drink? - Yes, please.
- Pinot gris? Yeah, my favourite.
It was awesome.
Yeah, some Bible bashing went down.
Pinot gris.
Lance: I was all over his face like a cheap suit.
We have his address, so when he's released on bail, we can send Anders around to do his thing.
If they ever let him out of the loonie bin for religious nutbars.
Yeah, I guess we do have implausibility on our side.
Sorted.
- Don't wait up.
- Wasn't planning on it.
- Your mother is, um-- - An overbearing, passive-aggressive, social-climbing, interfering, narcissistic, control freak, sexual predator cougar with deep-seated issues pertaining to her status as a minor goddess? - I was going to say interesting.
- I don't want to talk about her.
I want a hot bath, a comfortable bed, and token long sex, not necessarily in that order.
I can work with that, Snappy.
- I take it your answer's yes.
- No.
- No? - No, my answer is yes.
- Why did you say no? - My answer is yes, but I have conditions.
Which are? If I say, you do, no questions.
Don't be a dick about everything, and no Loki shit.
Feels doable.
Is that all? You leave my family alone.
I don't want to go anywhere near your family.
Deal.
Good to see you standing up and being a god in your own right.
And in anticipation of your yes, I had my people break into your apartment and leave you a present.
You see, that's exactly the dick thing that I'm talking about.
Just because you think You've lost your love Don't worry about it Let it go There ain't nothing that you can do about it Yeah let it flow I want my baby I want her back I want her back No, no, no, no, no! It must be so strange for you knowing your mother's getting slammed mere inches away.
- (Sighs) You think it's safe yet? - I'm too scared to find out.
G'day.
Score, mum.
Aren't you even gonna say hello? Mikkel? Hello, Dad.