The Guild (2007) s03e04 Episode Script
Get It Back!
People tend to disappear on me.
One time I came home, and my roommate had just moved out, no notice or anything.
She also stole all my jewelry and the community futon, so maybe I wasn't the only problem there.
Anyway, that was not a good start.
Any of that Guild leadering I was trying to do.
Without the two "hammers" of the Guild, Tink and Vork there What is this? Augh! Everything fell apart! And I just sat there alone, organizing my character's outfits for two hours straight.
I've never even done that with my own closet! That was a really comfortable futon.
God she sucked! But No, don't go to a hotel! I mean, who's gonna take the kids to get vaccinations? Clara, I have put up with a lot, but this is the last straw! Everything was above the chin.
Scout's honor! You kissed another man! I was really drunk, and he had touched Chuck Norris! Okay, how can we work through this and keep our marriage intact and stuff? We need to spend more time together.
Can you do that for me? For us? I can do that! It means cutting back on your game.
Is that really what that means? Hey, neighbor! Got any Phrygian Spore Dust I can borrow? Get it? Because neighbors usually ask for sugar.
Zaboo, why are you in my house again? Well, I guess Vork went on vacation or something because all the doors were locked, and I couldn't get in.
Um, but I'm staying next door at Riley's.
I escaped for a little gaming break.
That vixen is insatiable.
Oh, awesome to hear.
Now I have more people to avoid in the hallway.
I hope this isn't awkward for you, or anything.
You know, me being right down the hall, cavorting 24/7.
- Intercourse'd.
- No.
No, it's great you moved on so incredibly quick.
Good, good.
Because, you know, she's nothing like you at all.
I mean, she's tall, confident, clean.
Just she's super aggressive.
You know, nothing like the usual anime porn I download I need to find a way to get Tink back in the Guild.
Oh, well, I can get you the chat channel link for the rival Guild.
That's a good idea! Yeah, okay.
I'll just log on, no invitation, and confront her.
Oh, anxiety attack.
Oh! Codex? Vork? I finally found an open Wi-Fi connection.
Frustrating how untrusting people are in this world.
Well, you're stealing the access they pay for.
I don't see your point.
Sir? Are you still there? Codex, one moment.
I'm still pondering my order.
You've been sitting there for, like, 15 minutes! Well, those are the consequences of offering too many combo options! Vork! I'm gonna try to contact Tink by logging into that other Guild's chat channel.
What should I say to her to make her come back? One second.
Question: Were a colleague to depart the "Mr.
Chick-n-Stuff Jr.
And Friends" with bad feelings towards the organization, how would you persuade them to come back? Pull forward! Codex, pull forward.
Pull forward? What does that mean? I have no idea.
My current social encounter with a minimum-wage employee is not proving to be particularly edifying.
Sir! I'll have 75 straws and 22 ketchup packets, happy? My Wi-Fi is being cut off.
I'll be online again soon.
No, but, Vork, I need help! What should I pull forward? And IM'ing you the rival chat info now.
Blooop'd! Okay, I'm just gonna dive in and be polite.
That should work.
Why do I feel anxious, like I'm going to a party where I don't know anyone? Because you're going to a chat channel where you don't know anyone.
Oh, yeah.
Meta-social anxiety.
That's sad.
What's the beef, Fawkes? I just crit healed the motherfuck out of you! 7k, zow! I am so hard right now.
Well, soften it up because it doesn't matter.
We just wiped again.
I want to know what the fuck just happened.
I swear, it's like you guys are just sitting there, staring at a wall or some shit.
Nik, please translate this to Kwan: "Your aggro sucks balls.
" God I hate you, guys.
There isn't a natural disaster big enough to kill all the people I hate, including all of you.
Um, excuse me Oh, who the fuck is that? Calm down, Bruiser.
Some cockhead just wandered into our chat channel.
Um, hi! I am Codex, temporary leader of the Knights of Good Guild I'm sorry, fuckwit said what? Don't say "what.
" That name just made my balls fall off.
I apologize for that.
I'm looking for our Guild member, Tinkerballa.
Is she here? Well, the only people here are members of our Guild because this is our chat channel.
Ergo, what the fuck are you doing here? She went off with you at the GameStop.
Oh, you were with the bald nutsack who pushed me around.
I'm Venom.
I'm the one who can't walk.
Uh, he didn't really push you.
No, he didn't.
She fucked with you, and we won.
The end.
How can you say that like it's okay? The question isn't who will let me, it is who will stop me Ayn Rand.
I just want to talk to Tink.
Seems like she don't want to talk to you.
She's in the channel listening like a dumb mute.
Tink? Oh, my God, what? Hey! It's good to Um, you wanna come back to our Guild channel and talk? Fat chance, this is my new Guild now.
They're just my style.
Your friend's moved up in the world.
See, we're a more elite level of player.
Be happy for her and hit the road.
Well, Tink, I We really didn't get a chance to talk about your problems in the Guild, maybe if we I'm through with you, guys! I'm in this Guild now.
Move on.
Your diplomacy just got smeared a shit-moustache, sport.
Kick her off! We need to down this boss, or I'll set fire to my apartment and roast to death in this chair.
Do something! Um But Hey, don't worry about Tink.
You won't forget about her.
She's with the Axis of Anarchy now, and nobody fucks with members of our guild and gets away with it.
C-ya, k, thx, bye, fuck.
Wow, they certainly share Tink's love of f-bombs.
I guess Tink's really not coming back.
OMG, this is not happening! - Bladezz? What's wrong? - My secret's out! Somehow my Finn Smulders modeling pictures went public! Check out finnsmulders.
Com! Whoa, this website's awesome! They even LOLCatt'd a few of your photos! I can haz Eurotrash? Classic! Contact admin@axisofanarchy.
com.
That other Guild did this! Yeah, and they sent a link to the website to my entire high school e-mail list! Then they started passing out my face on a stick as a joke.
Hundreds of them, all over campus.
I'm ruined! Dena, shove it!
One time I came home, and my roommate had just moved out, no notice or anything.
She also stole all my jewelry and the community futon, so maybe I wasn't the only problem there.
Anyway, that was not a good start.
Any of that Guild leadering I was trying to do.
Without the two "hammers" of the Guild, Tink and Vork there What is this? Augh! Everything fell apart! And I just sat there alone, organizing my character's outfits for two hours straight.
I've never even done that with my own closet! That was a really comfortable futon.
God she sucked! But No, don't go to a hotel! I mean, who's gonna take the kids to get vaccinations? Clara, I have put up with a lot, but this is the last straw! Everything was above the chin.
Scout's honor! You kissed another man! I was really drunk, and he had touched Chuck Norris! Okay, how can we work through this and keep our marriage intact and stuff? We need to spend more time together.
Can you do that for me? For us? I can do that! It means cutting back on your game.
Is that really what that means? Hey, neighbor! Got any Phrygian Spore Dust I can borrow? Get it? Because neighbors usually ask for sugar.
Zaboo, why are you in my house again? Well, I guess Vork went on vacation or something because all the doors were locked, and I couldn't get in.
Um, but I'm staying next door at Riley's.
I escaped for a little gaming break.
That vixen is insatiable.
Oh, awesome to hear.
Now I have more people to avoid in the hallway.
I hope this isn't awkward for you, or anything.
You know, me being right down the hall, cavorting 24/7.
- Intercourse'd.
- No.
No, it's great you moved on so incredibly quick.
Good, good.
Because, you know, she's nothing like you at all.
I mean, she's tall, confident, clean.
Just she's super aggressive.
You know, nothing like the usual anime porn I download I need to find a way to get Tink back in the Guild.
Oh, well, I can get you the chat channel link for the rival Guild.
That's a good idea! Yeah, okay.
I'll just log on, no invitation, and confront her.
Oh, anxiety attack.
Oh! Codex? Vork? I finally found an open Wi-Fi connection.
Frustrating how untrusting people are in this world.
Well, you're stealing the access they pay for.
I don't see your point.
Sir? Are you still there? Codex, one moment.
I'm still pondering my order.
You've been sitting there for, like, 15 minutes! Well, those are the consequences of offering too many combo options! Vork! I'm gonna try to contact Tink by logging into that other Guild's chat channel.
What should I say to her to make her come back? One second.
Question: Were a colleague to depart the "Mr.
Chick-n-Stuff Jr.
And Friends" with bad feelings towards the organization, how would you persuade them to come back? Pull forward! Codex, pull forward.
Pull forward? What does that mean? I have no idea.
My current social encounter with a minimum-wage employee is not proving to be particularly edifying.
Sir! I'll have 75 straws and 22 ketchup packets, happy? My Wi-Fi is being cut off.
I'll be online again soon.
No, but, Vork, I need help! What should I pull forward? And IM'ing you the rival chat info now.
Blooop'd! Okay, I'm just gonna dive in and be polite.
That should work.
Why do I feel anxious, like I'm going to a party where I don't know anyone? Because you're going to a chat channel where you don't know anyone.
Oh, yeah.
Meta-social anxiety.
That's sad.
What's the beef, Fawkes? I just crit healed the motherfuck out of you! 7k, zow! I am so hard right now.
Well, soften it up because it doesn't matter.
We just wiped again.
I want to know what the fuck just happened.
I swear, it's like you guys are just sitting there, staring at a wall or some shit.
Nik, please translate this to Kwan: "Your aggro sucks balls.
" God I hate you, guys.
There isn't a natural disaster big enough to kill all the people I hate, including all of you.
Um, excuse me Oh, who the fuck is that? Calm down, Bruiser.
Some cockhead just wandered into our chat channel.
Um, hi! I am Codex, temporary leader of the Knights of Good Guild I'm sorry, fuckwit said what? Don't say "what.
" That name just made my balls fall off.
I apologize for that.
I'm looking for our Guild member, Tinkerballa.
Is she here? Well, the only people here are members of our Guild because this is our chat channel.
Ergo, what the fuck are you doing here? She went off with you at the GameStop.
Oh, you were with the bald nutsack who pushed me around.
I'm Venom.
I'm the one who can't walk.
Uh, he didn't really push you.
No, he didn't.
She fucked with you, and we won.
The end.
How can you say that like it's okay? The question isn't who will let me, it is who will stop me Ayn Rand.
I just want to talk to Tink.
Seems like she don't want to talk to you.
She's in the channel listening like a dumb mute.
Tink? Oh, my God, what? Hey! It's good to Um, you wanna come back to our Guild channel and talk? Fat chance, this is my new Guild now.
They're just my style.
Your friend's moved up in the world.
See, we're a more elite level of player.
Be happy for her and hit the road.
Well, Tink, I We really didn't get a chance to talk about your problems in the Guild, maybe if we I'm through with you, guys! I'm in this Guild now.
Move on.
Your diplomacy just got smeared a shit-moustache, sport.
Kick her off! We need to down this boss, or I'll set fire to my apartment and roast to death in this chair.
Do something! Um But Hey, don't worry about Tink.
You won't forget about her.
She's with the Axis of Anarchy now, and nobody fucks with members of our guild and gets away with it.
C-ya, k, thx, bye, fuck.
Wow, they certainly share Tink's love of f-bombs.
I guess Tink's really not coming back.
OMG, this is not happening! - Bladezz? What's wrong? - My secret's out! Somehow my Finn Smulders modeling pictures went public! Check out finnsmulders.
Com! Whoa, this website's awesome! They even LOLCatt'd a few of your photos! I can haz Eurotrash? Classic! Contact admin@axisofanarchy.
com.
That other Guild did this! Yeah, and they sent a link to the website to my entire high school e-mail list! Then they started passing out my face on a stick as a joke.
Hundreds of them, all over campus.
I'm ruined! Dena, shove it!