Ugly Betty s03e04 Episode Script
Betty Suarez Land
Ugly Betty S03E04 you're dating a married man? I didn't know that he was married when we started dating.
This is just gonna end bad.
Well, who says it's gonna end? I know how much you care about me, and I care about you, too, but not in ty.
you're a natural father.
His grandparents want him back in france.
I know he misses them.
He can miss them and still want to be here with his father.
Daniel isn't daniel jr.
'S father.
I am.
I will not rest until the person who threatened the life of my unborn child is brought to justice.
I'm afraid you're under arrest.
I didn't push christina.
I know you did it.
Today the center ring of the meade family circus belongs to alexis meade, who's been charged with helping wilhelmina slater's surrogate down a pesky flight of stairs.
hold everything.
It looks like daniel meade has arrived.
oh, mr.
Meade! Make a hole, bitches.
Oh, my god.
This ordeal has taken a terrible toll on daniel meade.
He looks like some kind of twisted hunchback.
Betty Season03 Episode04 all right, you guys.
Let's go around the back.
I'm in.
******** Of course.
I think it's great that you're supporting your sister, even if she did, you know, push my best friend down a flight of stairs.
Yeah, well, I'm still pissed at alexis for letting me take the blame, but mom wanted me to talk to her, so here I am.
Well, try and play nice.
Oh, and, um, could I take the town car to work? No.
you look like crap.
They said my eyebrow pencil could be used as a shank.
I can see that.
So I spoke to your lawyer.
He thinks with the plea deal, you could probably get off with a fine and a few hundred hours of community service.
That's it.
I don't know why mom insisted I come down here just to tell you that.
It wasn't just to tell me that, daniel.
I need to talk to you.
daniel jr.
'S mother in paris, I was obviously still a man, and, uh, the thing is, I slept with her.
- It was just once.
- Why are you telling me this now? Because I saw the results of the paternity test, and you're not daniel jr.
'S father.
I am.
Look, I'm--I'm gonna give up my parental rights.
We can keep this out of the press.
As far as anyone will know, D.
J.
Is your son.
I'm so sorry, daniel.
Is there anything you want to sae? I think it shows real maturity that daniel's helping alexis.
he's totally growing a person.
Okay, uh, betty, what time are you getting home from work tonight? Oh, I don't know.
Um, like, Actually, coach and I were wondering if we could hang out at your place again.
Hilda, no.
I said you could use my apartment that one time so that you guys could talk.
I know, but-- excuse me one second-- I know, but papi walked in on us.
We didn't get a chance to talk.
Come on, betty.
Please.
I really need to find out where this is going.
Fine, but I swear, after this, I'm changing my locks, and oh, my god! Gio's back.
- What? - Gio's back from rome.
Oh, I can't wait to hear all about his trip.
Oh, well, isn't that gonna be weird? No.
Why would it be weird? I don't know.
Maybe because he offered to whisk you away on this romantic trip to rome, and you threw it in his face.
I did not throw anything back in his face.
I care about, you, gio, but I can't go to rome with you.
Right now I need to be on my own.
I completely understand.
Have a wonderful trip.
Nope.
He was ine.
All right, I'll talk to you later.
Whatever.
buon giorno! How was your trip? Was it amazing? Tell me everything.
I'm not telling you nothing.
You and I-- we don't talk.
"Banned!"? Gio, what is this? I thought we were fine.
Fine? After the way we left things? The truth is, I would rather be all alon than go to rome with you.
I don't understand.
Well, then let me make myself clear.
um, it didn't happen like that, and I did not spit.
Yeah?Well, maybe you don't notice, but sometimes when you talk really fast, you end up spitting a little bit.
Gio.
Gio! Stop.
Okay.
You want to hear about my trip? Two weeks in one of the most romantic places on earth, and I was alone.
And since your boss made all the arrangements, all of the reservations were under your name.
So everywhere I went, it was, "welcome, signor suarez.
"Can I get you anything, signor suarez? Where's your wife, signor suarez?" There must have been something good, right? It was rome.
And you went to find your flavor, likmario batali.
Did you find your flavor? Oh, I found it, all right.
See, there was this cheese, a scamorza, made by a farmer named donato, and all of the milk from the cheese came from one cow--louisa.
Feed her by hand, pamper her, massage her oh, I know.
I know.
But the cheese who knew heaven could come from a cow? Not me.
The sandwiches I was gonna make that cheese was gonna change my life.
Life changing-- that's good, right? Then I landed at J.
F.
K.
And the customs guys confiscated it.
Something about food import rules.
Oh, god, gio.
That's-- I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's fine.
See, as I sat there, watching them eat my once-in-a-lifetime discovery, I had an epiphany, a moment of total clarity.
- I hate you.
- What? You're not a nice person.
Not only are you banned from gio's deli, you're banned from my life.
Gio.
You can't ban me from your life.
I am a very nice person.
And you know what? You can't hate me, because we're friends.
Oh, my god.
He hates me.
proudly presents sync:ßÇÈâÈâ µ°¸â¸â I n't stand that gio feels that way.
I should do something, something to make it up to him.
Wait.
Have you had your hand in there this whole time? Yeah, I just didn't want to interrupt your rant.
Did you get into a fight? We talked about that.
You suck at fighting.
It wasn't a fight exactly.
Then what happened? Look, you don't have to know everything that goes on in my life, betty.
Some things are private.
Oh, okay, "private.
" 'Cause the other day you had me check a mole on your "lower back," but today there are boundaries, and yay for that.
I gotta go.
I'M taking D.
J.
To lunch today.
And then I have my sister's arraignment.
You know, you should probably just give gio a little time.
I'm sure he'll forget about it.
You don't know gio.
He gets something in his mind, he doesn't let it go, like this cheese that he found in italy-- - donato scamorza? - Yeah.
How'd you know? Oh, it's amazing.
My friend mario uses it in all his restaurants.
Mario? Batali? Oh, my god.
He's gio's hero.
Maybe he could get me some of that cheese, and then I could give that to gio as a peace offering.
You think you could call him for me? - Uh, D.
J.
And I-- - call him.
Okay.
How's my baby? I'm fine, willie.
You know how I get when you call me that.
Oh, that baby.
Gestating nicely I'm told, though christina is getting a little too comfortable at the spa.
She's requested a few extra days for her and her terminal scotsman.
Make sure she's aware her contract with me specifically limits extracurricular womb activities.
okay, I will try to tell her that.
So I suppose you've heard.
Alexis got community service.
if I had known this is how the system worked, I'd have tried to kill more often.
She tries to off your offspring, and she gets off with a slap on the wrist.
It's an offing outrage.
Or it could be the opportunity we've been waiting for.
Exactly what I was thinking.
Though the fact that she'll be out before cocktail hour does get my dander up.
Oh, my dander is sky high.
Still, I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.
No, you'd be a fool to.
I'm completely lost.
Just tell me what to feel.
Why don't you get your lips off my ass and get the D.
A.
On the phone? so what's going on? The arraignment was supposed to start a half an hour ago.
Well, I'm afraid there's been a little hiccup.
Uh, apparently, due to the horrific nature of your crimes, uh, blah, blah, blah,the D.
A.
Is bumping the charge from misdemeanor assault to attempted murder.
Oh, my god.
They're also insisting that alexis be denied bail.
now what are we going to do? I thought we had a deal.
I know.
I'm--I'm trying to see if we can salvage some kind of plea agreement.
Um, barring that, we go to trial.
No, I am not putting my daughter's future into the hands of 12 people who are too lazy or stupid to get out of jury duty.
Maybe I should just go to jail.
Maybe I'm getting what i deserve.
I did a terrible thing.
Well, that doesn't make you a terrible person.
Now don't you worry, dear.
I contributed handsomely to the district attorney's election campaign.
Mommy will make this all better.
Richard, darling, it's claire meade.
Claire, you know this is inappropriate.
I can't talk to you while I'm prosecuting your daughter.
Why don't you reduce the charges and let alexis get to picking up trash along the west side highway, like you promised? She admitted to pushing a pregnant woman down a flight of stairs.
And your point is? The point is, I'm under a lot of pressure.
I can't make it seem that there's a different standard of justice for rich people.
Funny, I don't recall justice being quite so blind when you were accepting that obscenely large check I wrote for your campaign.
Claire, I'm sorry.
My hands are tied.
now, counselor, if we have any further interruptions, I'm gonna have to hold youin contempt.
Yes, your honor.
You know, we, um, we could have done this in the park, like, an actual picnic outside on the grass.
With all the ants and the dog crap? What is it? I just-- I've been thinking About--about this.
Indoor picnics? Dog crap? No, wise guy, about us, about sneaking around and using my sister's apartment.
And what if justin finds out that you're married? - I'm leaving her.
- I mean, where is this going? Let me finish.
Wait.
What did you say? Tony, don't mess with me.
I swear to god it's no joke.
I am telling her this afternoon.
No more sneaking around, no more "dates" in the back of the car.
My dad'll be happy to know I'm not gonna burn in hell.
No eternal damnation, always a good thing.
Hey, betty.
A pair of sweaty, smelly balls arrived for you.
Yay! Is this your lunch? No, it's for gio, and no, you can't have any.
That's too bad.
One slice of that fatness or ten of these.
- I totally win.
- Oh, excuse me.
Can you direct me to daniel meade's office, please? Oh, yes, counselor adams.
Follow me.
Uh, oh, my god.
Is that donato scamorza? We need to discuss the custody hearing for daniel jr.
Why? You're not handling that.
I asked getman at the firm to let me step in.
I feel bad about your sister.
I just want to knock one of 'em out of the park for you.
There we go.
Anyway, now you remember that the, uh, grandparents of the boy in france filed a petition for custody? Getman told me not to worry about it.
Well, that was when we were all under the impression that you were actually the father.
Feel free ry wor about it now.
Wait.
They know? How the hell did they find out? I thought we were gonna keep this within the family.
Well, they subpoenaed our evidence, which included your paternity test.
We'll fight 'em, right? I'm--I'm still D.
J.
'S uncle.
I still care for the kid.
I know I'd make a good dad.
Bring 'em on.
That's the spirit, but the thing is that the judge already awarded them temporary custody.
What? Well, when alexis relinquished her parental rights, those damn frenchies swooped right in.
In one hour, they're gonna be at J.
F.
K.
To pick him up.
Can't we do something? Oh, sure, sure, sure.
I filed a motion to have the custody order suspended, but if they get daniel jr.
Back on french soil, it doesn't make a difference how strong our case is, you can kiss that kid good-bye.
- Betty.
- Oh, daniel.
I know it's been crazy today, but I was wondering, could i leave work a little early? Perfect.
I was just about to ask you to take care of one little thing for me.
- Oh, of course.
I just have to get home.
- Not a problem.
You see, gio doesn't know that I have an apartment in the city.
So I placed this huge sandwich order from his deli so that he could deliver it to my apartment.
That's brilliant.
When he shows up, I'm gonna give him the scamorza.
It can't miss.
You're not listening to me.
No, I'm not.
Listen, I really need you to pick up D.
J.
After school and take him somewhere.
Where? Uh, I don't know.
I don't care.
Anywhere.
Actually, it's probably better if you don't tell me where.
Okay, look, daniel, I am not taking him anywhere until you tell me what this is about.
Look, D.
J.
'S grandparents are on their way here right now to take him back to france.
But how can they even do that? You'reis father.
Look, I don't know.
I can't go into the complex international legal issues right now.
They're french.
They do things differently.
All right.
Well, this still sounds a little fishy.
betty, please.
If you don't do this, I'm gonna lose him.
gio's deli.
"B.
Suarez"? Aw, crap.
Right on time.
Great service, as always.
- What is this? - Come in.
What part of "banned" don't you understand, suarez? Banned from the deli.
I thought I still had some wiggle room on delivery.
Bonjour.
Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got a business to run.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
Gio, please.
I can't let it end this way.
Just listen for a second.
You know, there is nothing that you can say that could make me what's that smell? Heaven from a cow.
donato scamorza.
Where'd you get this? Well, I have my ways, and i wanted to do something nice, you know, to make up for what happened.
Fine.
Where you going? Leaving.
But I gave you cheese.
Thank you.
Good-bye.
- You're still angry? - Yep.
What are you doing? Give--don't--don't squeeze.
Don't squeeze.
Give me the stop being such an indian giver.
Okay, first of all, that is an outdated and culturally insensitive term, and second of all, you are not getting this cheese until we've sat down and spoken properly and gotten pasthis.
Monsieur meade, we want to thank you so much for taking such good care of daniel.
He says wonderful things about you.
He does? I mean, uh, you've spoken with him? Well, yes, he has written us many letters since he's here in new york.
I didn't realize.
No need for letter now.
His family is here.
I am his family.
Monsieur meade, I mean, we want to take him-- I'm sorry.
It's just-- since we lost our daughter, he is all we have.
Where is our grandson? We need to take him home.
He's with my assistant.
Look, I tried to call.
She's just not answering her phone.
If you're looking for betty, she's at her apartment.
You're welcome.
this is me rock climbing in yosemite.
Can you imagine, me, betty suarez, hanging off a cliff 50 feet in the air? - Le grand canyon.
- Yeah, that's right.
And we hiked all the way to the bottom.
Did you know that only 1% of visitors to the grand canyon actually do that? Right.
Well, the important thing is that I learned that I can do anything, and--and even the things that terrified me, and that's all thanks to you, gio.
You were always pushing me to take risks.
You changed my life.
So breaking up with me made your life better? What? No.
No.
You are taking this all wrong.
No, no.
I don't think so.
You know, this isn't about you making me feel better.
This is about you feeling better about yourself.
If you were listening to what I'm trying to tell you-- but I have been listening.
I've been listening to you talk for about a half an hour about what great friends we are, about how I changed your life by sending you on this mountain climbing, river rafting, clam chowder-eating vision quest.
But for once, this isn't about you, and if you didn't live in betty suarez land okay, I do not live in betty suarez land.
Oh, yes, you do.
betty suarez land, U.
S.
A.
And if you were to step out of it for one minute, you'd realize that it takes two to make a relationship, and I'm not interested.
- Well, why not? - Because you broke my heart! I'm sorry.
I-I ha--I have to.
Yes? betty, D.
J.
'S grandparents found out where you are.
What? D.
J.
Look, they're coming to get him.
You have to get out of there.
Daniel, what is going on? All? C'est qui? is betty suarez there? Hello? I need to speak to betty suarez right now.
They're here.
Today's the day - betty, what's happening? - I know you're up there.
I'm not gonna let you take him away.
Daniel, it's them.
They're here.
betty, get out of there.
Just leave.
He's up there now, isn't he? Let me in.
Okay.
no! No, no, no.
Hey, what the hell's going on? daniel's about to lose custody of his son.
His grandparents are coming from france to take him back.
Well, how could they do that if daniel's the father? I don't know.
It's a french thing.
Look, where's your van? Downstairs? You're not expecting me to drive you anywhere.
Gio, I know you hate me, but please don't take it out on daniel or his son.
Hey, D.
J.
, Ever been on a real live new york fire escape? L'échapper flamb? Come on.
prison reality is not living up to my fantasy at all.
Where is all the scary, beefy trade? - Oh, marc, we're in a women's prison.
- I know.
I'm surprised you wanted to see me,wilhelmina,after what I've done.
What would the world be without the power forgive? And in the interest of forgiveness, I may have a way to help put this nightmare behind you.
What do you mean? Let's just say the district attorney and i share certain enthusiasms.
I could talk to him about reducing these outrageous charges against you.
You did this.
You got him to charge me with attempted murder.
Oh,don't act so shocked.
Alexis.
This is what we do.
This is our thing.
You screw me over.
I screw you back.
A whole lot of screwing goin' around.
The point is,I can make this whole thing go away.
And what's it going to cost me? Your shares in meade publishing.
What? I'm not going to give you control of my family's company.
How can you even ask me that? I'm just sayin',you're the one with the guilty conscience.
I'm terrified of going to prison,more scared than I've ever been in my entire life, but I will do a hundred years before i screw my brother over again.
So thank you for the offer,but this time,you can screw yourself.
are you being followed? I don't know.
Are we being followed? nope.
No.
So where are you heading? I don't know.
Where should we take him? Does he like the ballet? Because they're doing "swan lake" at-- you're not taking him to the ballet.
(We're not gonna take him to the ballet.
) Well,what's wrong with the ballet? Kids love the ballet.
Justin loves the ballet.
Look,let me talk to gio.
No.
Why do you need to talk to gio? Give me the phone.
Um,I'm handling it.
What about coney island? We'll grab some dogs,ride the cyclone? Perfect.
Gio,I'll meet you there.
Thank you for driving.
you always do this to me.
Right when I think I'm out,you pull me right back in.
Well,you know what,gio? When this is all done,you can get back into your meaty cheese van and drive as far away from betty suarez town as you want.
Suarez land.
hello! Come on back.
Through the beads.
Welcome to hilda's beautilities.
What can I do for you,perm,pedicure? I'm here about my husband.
Oh,yeah,yeah.
We do men's hair,too.
I followed him hery One da .
his name is tony diaz.
Tony? You don't have to pretend.
I know what's going on.
Oh,listen.
I know-- please,just talk to your sister.
Tell her to stop seeing him.
My sister? He's been meeting her in the city,in her apartment.
I was just there,thinking I was gonna catch him again.
But she was there with some fren.
Guy she must be some insatiable slut.
Hey.
This is my sister we're talking about here.
I'm sorry.
I don't even blame her.
It's our own fault,tony and me.
We married young.
We've been together for a long time.
At some point,things just got cold.
We stopped talking,spending time together.
Everything.
But I never stopped loving him,ever, even today, when he told me he was in love with someone else.
Is that crazy? No.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Please,just talk to your sister.
Tell her I want a chance,that's all.
I want to make things better between him and me.
I want a chance to save my marriage.
you won! Pay up.
Fine,but I'm gonna kick your derriere in the ring toss.
well,you're good with him.
Yeah,well,he's a good kid.
Where's D.
J.
? He went to grab something to eat.
You okay? Look,I don't have much time.
I got a car waiting to take D.
J.
And me to the airport.
The meade family jet is gonna fly us to I haven't figured that part out yet.
Do you guys know, uh,is there a country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the U.
S.
? Iceland's a real country,right? Daniel,what are you talking about? The judge refused to grant a stay for the custody order.
D.
J.
'S grandparents are taking him back to france.
What? But that's-- that's crazy.
Why? It doesn't matter.
it doesn't matter,daniel? You're his father.
They can't just take your son.
He's not my son,okay? D.
J.
Is not my son.
guys.
Hey,D.
J.
You having trés fun? D.
J.
,Come on.
Wait.
D.
J.
D.
J.
,Come on.
Stop.
Come back.
On the upside,his english is getting really good.
D.
J.
! daniel jr.
! D.
J.
! Daniel jr.
! Daniel,why didn't you tell me? You tell me everythi.
I know.
I-I just-- I guess I thought I could fix it somehow,you know,make it go away.
I was just afraid if I said it out loud,it would make it real.
Well,do you know who the real father is? Yeah.
Alexis.
Look,the important thing is,alexis doesn't want to be the father and I do.
What does that mean? What are you gonna do? I'm gonna run away someplace his grandparents can't get to us.
Are they awful people? No.
Not at all.
Okay,so these two nice people show up to get their grandson, and all of a sudden, you want to become an international fugitive? It's a really bad plan,isn't it? Well you know,sometimes when we want something really bad, we forget that there are other people involved.
We just get stuck in our own little worlds, and it doesn't matter what other people feel excepthat it it does matter.
I think I know where he is.
Come on.
You know,I went to a lot of trouble to get you a perfectly nice cubicle.
You'd really destroy my daughter's life, all for some power play over the company? Alexis tried to destroy my child's life for the same reason.
I just want justice served.
Oh,I know what you want, but alexis will never give you control over meade publications.
She'll go to prison first.
Well,then we have nothing to discuss.
Not necessarily.
I said she'll never give you control over the company.
Go on.
I'll convince her to split her shares, sign over half to daniel,half to you-- well,your unborn child.
You'll each have a equal partners in running the company, equal partners in running the magazine.
You'll both be editors-in-chief.
And in exchange,you will use your influence with the D.
A.
To get the charges dropped.
Well,I don't think daniel would be happy with you bartering away his legacy to spring his jailbird sister.
You may not understand this,wilhelmina, but there's something called sacrifice.
Daniel and alexis have had their differences, but at the end of the day, they're still brother and sister, and that's all that really matters.
Are you sure he's down here? Why don't we just check the cyclone one more time or dante's inferno? Nah.
Trust me.
He doesn't want to be around a bunch of screaming tourists.
What he really needs is a place to be alone with his thoughts and maybe get a good shot up some chick's skirt,too.
And voil? D.
J.
Are you okay? You really had me worried.
Look I'm so sorry you had to find out like this.
But it doesn't change the way I feel about you,not a bit.
Even after I found out,I still wanted you to be my son.
I wanted to fight for you.
Why don't you fight? It's complicated.
Your grandparents miss you very much.
I know you miss them and your mom.
Don't you? Look,I just-- I think it's time for you to go home for a while.
But I want you to be father,mon papa.
I want that,I mean,more than anything,but D.
J.
,I'm not.
Maybe I can be your really cool american uncle.
I'm not going away ever.
Wow.
You look great.
Thanks.
Well,I thought we could go out for dessert,take a walk or we could do whatever you want to do, 'cause I don't have to be home anytime soon.
I can't,tony.
What's wrong? You're married.
Well,I told her today,everything,so you and I,we could be to.
Ther it's okay.
We don't have to worry.
No.
Hilda,it's over.
It was over before I met you.
Does she feel that way? I feel that way.
I am meant to be with you.
Okay,wait.
No.
Stop.
Please.
Jill came to the salon today.
- She's still in love with you.
- What? I can't be the reason you guys break up.
What are you talking about? This is crazy.
- Tony-- - hilda,don't I have a say in this? I love you.
You understand that? I love you,too,but I lost somebody that I loved before.
We never got a second chance.
I don't wish that on anybody.
whatever happens with you and your wife,I can't be responsible for it.
I'm so sorry.
here's your cheese.
Heaven from a cow.
Thank you.
You earned it.
Oh,and,gio so you were right.
I guess sometimes I do live in betty suarez land, but only because I really thought that we could be friends again.
I know.
That's how you roll in teddy bear lane.
I thought I was doing some big,selfless thing,and it was all about me.
I guess I just have to let you feel what you need to feel.
But whatever it's worth,I I really am sorry that I hurt you.
I was thinking,I spent the whole day with you, breathing the same air and everything,and it w-wasn't so bad.
Gio.
I guess it was stupid,banning you from my life.
No,it's not stupid,not if that's what you feel.
You know,I've known you for a while,and I've seen you at work, swimming with those sharks at "mode," keeping daniel's head above water.
You're gonna do great things one day,suarez.
I don't blame you for choosing yourself.
oh,willie,don't feel bad.
Bad? Why should I feel bad? Well,you lost alexis' portion of meade, and now you have to share "mode" with daniel.
I'm distraught.
Oh,marc,my adorable but shortsighted minion, six months ago,I was nothing more than a salaried employee for meade.
Now I control 50% of a publishing empire.
Only 50% to go.
Did I say "distraught"? I meant "hot.
" You look pretty good.
No jailhouse tattoos.
You haven't lived until you've been thoroughly deloused.
Tell me about it.
So are you sure you don't want to stick around for a while? No,I don't trust wilhelmina not to sic the D.
A.
On me again.
Besides,I could use a break.
Provence is beautiful this time of year.
My flight leaves in an hour.
So while you're in france,maybe you can spend some time getting to know D.
J.
You're okay with that? He's your son.
I'm sorry I slept with your girlfriend.
I'm sorry for trying to punch you.
I'm sorry you suck at fighting.
Thanks,mom.
For what? For always being there,for never judging me.
I love you.
I lost you once.
I don't want to lose you again.
you won'T.
I'll be back.
I promise.
*Just because I'm hurting* *doesn't mean I'm hurt* *doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve no better and no worse* *I just got lost every river that I tried to cross* *eve door I ever tried was locked* *oh,and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off* *you might be a big fish in a little pond* *doesn't mean you've won* *'cause along may come a bigger one* *oh,and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off* *oh,and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off*
This is just gonna end bad.
Well, who says it's gonna end? I know how much you care about me, and I care about you, too, but not in ty.
you're a natural father.
His grandparents want him back in france.
I know he misses them.
He can miss them and still want to be here with his father.
Daniel isn't daniel jr.
'S father.
I am.
I will not rest until the person who threatened the life of my unborn child is brought to justice.
I'm afraid you're under arrest.
I didn't push christina.
I know you did it.
Today the center ring of the meade family circus belongs to alexis meade, who's been charged with helping wilhelmina slater's surrogate down a pesky flight of stairs.
hold everything.
It looks like daniel meade has arrived.
oh, mr.
Meade! Make a hole, bitches.
Oh, my god.
This ordeal has taken a terrible toll on daniel meade.
He looks like some kind of twisted hunchback.
Betty Season03 Episode04 all right, you guys.
Let's go around the back.
I'm in.
******** Of course.
I think it's great that you're supporting your sister, even if she did, you know, push my best friend down a flight of stairs.
Yeah, well, I'm still pissed at alexis for letting me take the blame, but mom wanted me to talk to her, so here I am.
Well, try and play nice.
Oh, and, um, could I take the town car to work? No.
you look like crap.
They said my eyebrow pencil could be used as a shank.
I can see that.
So I spoke to your lawyer.
He thinks with the plea deal, you could probably get off with a fine and a few hundred hours of community service.
That's it.
I don't know why mom insisted I come down here just to tell you that.
It wasn't just to tell me that, daniel.
I need to talk to you.
daniel jr.
'S mother in paris, I was obviously still a man, and, uh, the thing is, I slept with her.
- It was just once.
- Why are you telling me this now? Because I saw the results of the paternity test, and you're not daniel jr.
'S father.
I am.
Look, I'm--I'm gonna give up my parental rights.
We can keep this out of the press.
As far as anyone will know, D.
J.
Is your son.
I'm so sorry, daniel.
Is there anything you want to sae? I think it shows real maturity that daniel's helping alexis.
he's totally growing a person.
Okay, uh, betty, what time are you getting home from work tonight? Oh, I don't know.
Um, like, Actually, coach and I were wondering if we could hang out at your place again.
Hilda, no.
I said you could use my apartment that one time so that you guys could talk.
I know, but-- excuse me one second-- I know, but papi walked in on us.
We didn't get a chance to talk.
Come on, betty.
Please.
I really need to find out where this is going.
Fine, but I swear, after this, I'm changing my locks, and oh, my god! Gio's back.
- What? - Gio's back from rome.
Oh, I can't wait to hear all about his trip.
Oh, well, isn't that gonna be weird? No.
Why would it be weird? I don't know.
Maybe because he offered to whisk you away on this romantic trip to rome, and you threw it in his face.
I did not throw anything back in his face.
I care about, you, gio, but I can't go to rome with you.
Right now I need to be on my own.
I completely understand.
Have a wonderful trip.
Nope.
He was ine.
All right, I'll talk to you later.
Whatever.
buon giorno! How was your trip? Was it amazing? Tell me everything.
I'm not telling you nothing.
You and I-- we don't talk.
"Banned!"? Gio, what is this? I thought we were fine.
Fine? After the way we left things? The truth is, I would rather be all alon than go to rome with you.
I don't understand.
Well, then let me make myself clear.
um, it didn't happen like that, and I did not spit.
Yeah?Well, maybe you don't notice, but sometimes when you talk really fast, you end up spitting a little bit.
Gio.
Gio! Stop.
Okay.
You want to hear about my trip? Two weeks in one of the most romantic places on earth, and I was alone.
And since your boss made all the arrangements, all of the reservations were under your name.
So everywhere I went, it was, "welcome, signor suarez.
"Can I get you anything, signor suarez? Where's your wife, signor suarez?" There must have been something good, right? It was rome.
And you went to find your flavor, likmario batali.
Did you find your flavor? Oh, I found it, all right.
See, there was this cheese, a scamorza, made by a farmer named donato, and all of the milk from the cheese came from one cow--louisa.
Feed her by hand, pamper her, massage her oh, I know.
I know.
But the cheese who knew heaven could come from a cow? Not me.
The sandwiches I was gonna make that cheese was gonna change my life.
Life changing-- that's good, right? Then I landed at J.
F.
K.
And the customs guys confiscated it.
Something about food import rules.
Oh, god, gio.
That's-- I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's fine.
See, as I sat there, watching them eat my once-in-a-lifetime discovery, I had an epiphany, a moment of total clarity.
- I hate you.
- What? You're not a nice person.
Not only are you banned from gio's deli, you're banned from my life.
Gio.
You can't ban me from your life.
I am a very nice person.
And you know what? You can't hate me, because we're friends.
Oh, my god.
He hates me.
proudly presents sync:ßÇÈâÈâ µ°¸â¸â I n't stand that gio feels that way.
I should do something, something to make it up to him.
Wait.
Have you had your hand in there this whole time? Yeah, I just didn't want to interrupt your rant.
Did you get into a fight? We talked about that.
You suck at fighting.
It wasn't a fight exactly.
Then what happened? Look, you don't have to know everything that goes on in my life, betty.
Some things are private.
Oh, okay, "private.
" 'Cause the other day you had me check a mole on your "lower back," but today there are boundaries, and yay for that.
I gotta go.
I'M taking D.
J.
To lunch today.
And then I have my sister's arraignment.
You know, you should probably just give gio a little time.
I'm sure he'll forget about it.
You don't know gio.
He gets something in his mind, he doesn't let it go, like this cheese that he found in italy-- - donato scamorza? - Yeah.
How'd you know? Oh, it's amazing.
My friend mario uses it in all his restaurants.
Mario? Batali? Oh, my god.
He's gio's hero.
Maybe he could get me some of that cheese, and then I could give that to gio as a peace offering.
You think you could call him for me? - Uh, D.
J.
And I-- - call him.
Okay.
How's my baby? I'm fine, willie.
You know how I get when you call me that.
Oh, that baby.
Gestating nicely I'm told, though christina is getting a little too comfortable at the spa.
She's requested a few extra days for her and her terminal scotsman.
Make sure she's aware her contract with me specifically limits extracurricular womb activities.
okay, I will try to tell her that.
So I suppose you've heard.
Alexis got community service.
if I had known this is how the system worked, I'd have tried to kill more often.
She tries to off your offspring, and she gets off with a slap on the wrist.
It's an offing outrage.
Or it could be the opportunity we've been waiting for.
Exactly what I was thinking.
Though the fact that she'll be out before cocktail hour does get my dander up.
Oh, my dander is sky high.
Still, I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.
No, you'd be a fool to.
I'm completely lost.
Just tell me what to feel.
Why don't you get your lips off my ass and get the D.
A.
On the phone? so what's going on? The arraignment was supposed to start a half an hour ago.
Well, I'm afraid there's been a little hiccup.
Uh, apparently, due to the horrific nature of your crimes, uh, blah, blah, blah,the D.
A.
Is bumping the charge from misdemeanor assault to attempted murder.
Oh, my god.
They're also insisting that alexis be denied bail.
now what are we going to do? I thought we had a deal.
I know.
I'm--I'm trying to see if we can salvage some kind of plea agreement.
Um, barring that, we go to trial.
No, I am not putting my daughter's future into the hands of 12 people who are too lazy or stupid to get out of jury duty.
Maybe I should just go to jail.
Maybe I'm getting what i deserve.
I did a terrible thing.
Well, that doesn't make you a terrible person.
Now don't you worry, dear.
I contributed handsomely to the district attorney's election campaign.
Mommy will make this all better.
Richard, darling, it's claire meade.
Claire, you know this is inappropriate.
I can't talk to you while I'm prosecuting your daughter.
Why don't you reduce the charges and let alexis get to picking up trash along the west side highway, like you promised? She admitted to pushing a pregnant woman down a flight of stairs.
And your point is? The point is, I'm under a lot of pressure.
I can't make it seem that there's a different standard of justice for rich people.
Funny, I don't recall justice being quite so blind when you were accepting that obscenely large check I wrote for your campaign.
Claire, I'm sorry.
My hands are tied.
now, counselor, if we have any further interruptions, I'm gonna have to hold youin contempt.
Yes, your honor.
You know, we, um, we could have done this in the park, like, an actual picnic outside on the grass.
With all the ants and the dog crap? What is it? I just-- I've been thinking About--about this.
Indoor picnics? Dog crap? No, wise guy, about us, about sneaking around and using my sister's apartment.
And what if justin finds out that you're married? - I'm leaving her.
- I mean, where is this going? Let me finish.
Wait.
What did you say? Tony, don't mess with me.
I swear to god it's no joke.
I am telling her this afternoon.
No more sneaking around, no more "dates" in the back of the car.
My dad'll be happy to know I'm not gonna burn in hell.
No eternal damnation, always a good thing.
Hey, betty.
A pair of sweaty, smelly balls arrived for you.
Yay! Is this your lunch? No, it's for gio, and no, you can't have any.
That's too bad.
One slice of that fatness or ten of these.
- I totally win.
- Oh, excuse me.
Can you direct me to daniel meade's office, please? Oh, yes, counselor adams.
Follow me.
Uh, oh, my god.
Is that donato scamorza? We need to discuss the custody hearing for daniel jr.
Why? You're not handling that.
I asked getman at the firm to let me step in.
I feel bad about your sister.
I just want to knock one of 'em out of the park for you.
There we go.
Anyway, now you remember that the, uh, grandparents of the boy in france filed a petition for custody? Getman told me not to worry about it.
Well, that was when we were all under the impression that you were actually the father.
Feel free ry wor about it now.
Wait.
They know? How the hell did they find out? I thought we were gonna keep this within the family.
Well, they subpoenaed our evidence, which included your paternity test.
We'll fight 'em, right? I'm--I'm still D.
J.
'S uncle.
I still care for the kid.
I know I'd make a good dad.
Bring 'em on.
That's the spirit, but the thing is that the judge already awarded them temporary custody.
What? Well, when alexis relinquished her parental rights, those damn frenchies swooped right in.
In one hour, they're gonna be at J.
F.
K.
To pick him up.
Can't we do something? Oh, sure, sure, sure.
I filed a motion to have the custody order suspended, but if they get daniel jr.
Back on french soil, it doesn't make a difference how strong our case is, you can kiss that kid good-bye.
- Betty.
- Oh, daniel.
I know it's been crazy today, but I was wondering, could i leave work a little early? Perfect.
I was just about to ask you to take care of one little thing for me.
- Oh, of course.
I just have to get home.
- Not a problem.
You see, gio doesn't know that I have an apartment in the city.
So I placed this huge sandwich order from his deli so that he could deliver it to my apartment.
That's brilliant.
When he shows up, I'm gonna give him the scamorza.
It can't miss.
You're not listening to me.
No, I'm not.
Listen, I really need you to pick up D.
J.
After school and take him somewhere.
Where? Uh, I don't know.
I don't care.
Anywhere.
Actually, it's probably better if you don't tell me where.
Okay, look, daniel, I am not taking him anywhere until you tell me what this is about.
Look, D.
J.
'S grandparents are on their way here right now to take him back to france.
But how can they even do that? You'reis father.
Look, I don't know.
I can't go into the complex international legal issues right now.
They're french.
They do things differently.
All right.
Well, this still sounds a little fishy.
betty, please.
If you don't do this, I'm gonna lose him.
gio's deli.
"B.
Suarez"? Aw, crap.
Right on time.
Great service, as always.
- What is this? - Come in.
What part of "banned" don't you understand, suarez? Banned from the deli.
I thought I still had some wiggle room on delivery.
Bonjour.
Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got a business to run.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
Gio, please.
I can't let it end this way.
Just listen for a second.
You know, there is nothing that you can say that could make me what's that smell? Heaven from a cow.
donato scamorza.
Where'd you get this? Well, I have my ways, and i wanted to do something nice, you know, to make up for what happened.
Fine.
Where you going? Leaving.
But I gave you cheese.
Thank you.
Good-bye.
- You're still angry? - Yep.
What are you doing? Give--don't--don't squeeze.
Don't squeeze.
Give me the stop being such an indian giver.
Okay, first of all, that is an outdated and culturally insensitive term, and second of all, you are not getting this cheese until we've sat down and spoken properly and gotten pasthis.
Monsieur meade, we want to thank you so much for taking such good care of daniel.
He says wonderful things about you.
He does? I mean, uh, you've spoken with him? Well, yes, he has written us many letters since he's here in new york.
I didn't realize.
No need for letter now.
His family is here.
I am his family.
Monsieur meade, I mean, we want to take him-- I'm sorry.
It's just-- since we lost our daughter, he is all we have.
Where is our grandson? We need to take him home.
He's with my assistant.
Look, I tried to call.
She's just not answering her phone.
If you're looking for betty, she's at her apartment.
You're welcome.
this is me rock climbing in yosemite.
Can you imagine, me, betty suarez, hanging off a cliff 50 feet in the air? - Le grand canyon.
- Yeah, that's right.
And we hiked all the way to the bottom.
Did you know that only 1% of visitors to the grand canyon actually do that? Right.
Well, the important thing is that I learned that I can do anything, and--and even the things that terrified me, and that's all thanks to you, gio.
You were always pushing me to take risks.
You changed my life.
So breaking up with me made your life better? What? No.
No.
You are taking this all wrong.
No, no.
I don't think so.
You know, this isn't about you making me feel better.
This is about you feeling better about yourself.
If you were listening to what I'm trying to tell you-- but I have been listening.
I've been listening to you talk for about a half an hour about what great friends we are, about how I changed your life by sending you on this mountain climbing, river rafting, clam chowder-eating vision quest.
But for once, this isn't about you, and if you didn't live in betty suarez land okay, I do not live in betty suarez land.
Oh, yes, you do.
betty suarez land, U.
S.
A.
And if you were to step out of it for one minute, you'd realize that it takes two to make a relationship, and I'm not interested.
- Well, why not? - Because you broke my heart! I'm sorry.
I-I ha--I have to.
Yes? betty, D.
J.
'S grandparents found out where you are.
What? D.
J.
Look, they're coming to get him.
You have to get out of there.
Daniel, what is going on? All? C'est qui? is betty suarez there? Hello? I need to speak to betty suarez right now.
They're here.
Today's the day - betty, what's happening? - I know you're up there.
I'm not gonna let you take him away.
Daniel, it's them.
They're here.
betty, get out of there.
Just leave.
He's up there now, isn't he? Let me in.
Okay.
no! No, no, no.
Hey, what the hell's going on? daniel's about to lose custody of his son.
His grandparents are coming from france to take him back.
Well, how could they do that if daniel's the father? I don't know.
It's a french thing.
Look, where's your van? Downstairs? You're not expecting me to drive you anywhere.
Gio, I know you hate me, but please don't take it out on daniel or his son.
Hey, D.
J.
, Ever been on a real live new york fire escape? L'échapper flamb? Come on.
prison reality is not living up to my fantasy at all.
Where is all the scary, beefy trade? - Oh, marc, we're in a women's prison.
- I know.
I'm surprised you wanted to see me,wilhelmina,after what I've done.
What would the world be without the power forgive? And in the interest of forgiveness, I may have a way to help put this nightmare behind you.
What do you mean? Let's just say the district attorney and i share certain enthusiasms.
I could talk to him about reducing these outrageous charges against you.
You did this.
You got him to charge me with attempted murder.
Oh,don't act so shocked.
Alexis.
This is what we do.
This is our thing.
You screw me over.
I screw you back.
A whole lot of screwing goin' around.
The point is,I can make this whole thing go away.
And what's it going to cost me? Your shares in meade publishing.
What? I'm not going to give you control of my family's company.
How can you even ask me that? I'm just sayin',you're the one with the guilty conscience.
I'm terrified of going to prison,more scared than I've ever been in my entire life, but I will do a hundred years before i screw my brother over again.
So thank you for the offer,but this time,you can screw yourself.
are you being followed? I don't know.
Are we being followed? nope.
No.
So where are you heading? I don't know.
Where should we take him? Does he like the ballet? Because they're doing "swan lake" at-- you're not taking him to the ballet.
(We're not gonna take him to the ballet.
) Well,what's wrong with the ballet? Kids love the ballet.
Justin loves the ballet.
Look,let me talk to gio.
No.
Why do you need to talk to gio? Give me the phone.
Um,I'm handling it.
What about coney island? We'll grab some dogs,ride the cyclone? Perfect.
Gio,I'll meet you there.
Thank you for driving.
you always do this to me.
Right when I think I'm out,you pull me right back in.
Well,you know what,gio? When this is all done,you can get back into your meaty cheese van and drive as far away from betty suarez town as you want.
Suarez land.
hello! Come on back.
Through the beads.
Welcome to hilda's beautilities.
What can I do for you,perm,pedicure? I'm here about my husband.
Oh,yeah,yeah.
We do men's hair,too.
I followed him hery One da .
his name is tony diaz.
Tony? You don't have to pretend.
I know what's going on.
Oh,listen.
I know-- please,just talk to your sister.
Tell her to stop seeing him.
My sister? He's been meeting her in the city,in her apartment.
I was just there,thinking I was gonna catch him again.
But she was there with some fren.
Guy she must be some insatiable slut.
Hey.
This is my sister we're talking about here.
I'm sorry.
I don't even blame her.
It's our own fault,tony and me.
We married young.
We've been together for a long time.
At some point,things just got cold.
We stopped talking,spending time together.
Everything.
But I never stopped loving him,ever, even today, when he told me he was in love with someone else.
Is that crazy? No.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Please,just talk to your sister.
Tell her I want a chance,that's all.
I want to make things better between him and me.
I want a chance to save my marriage.
you won! Pay up.
Fine,but I'm gonna kick your derriere in the ring toss.
well,you're good with him.
Yeah,well,he's a good kid.
Where's D.
J.
? He went to grab something to eat.
You okay? Look,I don't have much time.
I got a car waiting to take D.
J.
And me to the airport.
The meade family jet is gonna fly us to I haven't figured that part out yet.
Do you guys know, uh,is there a country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the U.
S.
? Iceland's a real country,right? Daniel,what are you talking about? The judge refused to grant a stay for the custody order.
D.
J.
'S grandparents are taking him back to france.
What? But that's-- that's crazy.
Why? It doesn't matter.
it doesn't matter,daniel? You're his father.
They can't just take your son.
He's not my son,okay? D.
J.
Is not my son.
guys.
Hey,D.
J.
You having trés fun? D.
J.
,Come on.
Wait.
D.
J.
D.
J.
,Come on.
Stop.
Come back.
On the upside,his english is getting really good.
D.
J.
! daniel jr.
! D.
J.
! Daniel jr.
! Daniel,why didn't you tell me? You tell me everythi.
I know.
I-I just-- I guess I thought I could fix it somehow,you know,make it go away.
I was just afraid if I said it out loud,it would make it real.
Well,do you know who the real father is? Yeah.
Alexis.
Look,the important thing is,alexis doesn't want to be the father and I do.
What does that mean? What are you gonna do? I'm gonna run away someplace his grandparents can't get to us.
Are they awful people? No.
Not at all.
Okay,so these two nice people show up to get their grandson, and all of a sudden, you want to become an international fugitive? It's a really bad plan,isn't it? Well you know,sometimes when we want something really bad, we forget that there are other people involved.
We just get stuck in our own little worlds, and it doesn't matter what other people feel excepthat it it does matter.
I think I know where he is.
Come on.
You know,I went to a lot of trouble to get you a perfectly nice cubicle.
You'd really destroy my daughter's life, all for some power play over the company? Alexis tried to destroy my child's life for the same reason.
I just want justice served.
Oh,I know what you want, but alexis will never give you control over meade publications.
She'll go to prison first.
Well,then we have nothing to discuss.
Not necessarily.
I said she'll never give you control over the company.
Go on.
I'll convince her to split her shares, sign over half to daniel,half to you-- well,your unborn child.
You'll each have a equal partners in running the company, equal partners in running the magazine.
You'll both be editors-in-chief.
And in exchange,you will use your influence with the D.
A.
To get the charges dropped.
Well,I don't think daniel would be happy with you bartering away his legacy to spring his jailbird sister.
You may not understand this,wilhelmina, but there's something called sacrifice.
Daniel and alexis have had their differences, but at the end of the day, they're still brother and sister, and that's all that really matters.
Are you sure he's down here? Why don't we just check the cyclone one more time or dante's inferno? Nah.
Trust me.
He doesn't want to be around a bunch of screaming tourists.
What he really needs is a place to be alone with his thoughts and maybe get a good shot up some chick's skirt,too.
And voil? D.
J.
Are you okay? You really had me worried.
Look I'm so sorry you had to find out like this.
But it doesn't change the way I feel about you,not a bit.
Even after I found out,I still wanted you to be my son.
I wanted to fight for you.
Why don't you fight? It's complicated.
Your grandparents miss you very much.
I know you miss them and your mom.
Don't you? Look,I just-- I think it's time for you to go home for a while.
But I want you to be father,mon papa.
I want that,I mean,more than anything,but D.
J.
,I'm not.
Maybe I can be your really cool american uncle.
I'm not going away ever.
Wow.
You look great.
Thanks.
Well,I thought we could go out for dessert,take a walk or we could do whatever you want to do, 'cause I don't have to be home anytime soon.
I can't,tony.
What's wrong? You're married.
Well,I told her today,everything,so you and I,we could be to.
Ther it's okay.
We don't have to worry.
No.
Hilda,it's over.
It was over before I met you.
Does she feel that way? I feel that way.
I am meant to be with you.
Okay,wait.
No.
Stop.
Please.
Jill came to the salon today.
- She's still in love with you.
- What? I can't be the reason you guys break up.
What are you talking about? This is crazy.
- Tony-- - hilda,don't I have a say in this? I love you.
You understand that? I love you,too,but I lost somebody that I loved before.
We never got a second chance.
I don't wish that on anybody.
whatever happens with you and your wife,I can't be responsible for it.
I'm so sorry.
here's your cheese.
Heaven from a cow.
Thank you.
You earned it.
Oh,and,gio so you were right.
I guess sometimes I do live in betty suarez land, but only because I really thought that we could be friends again.
I know.
That's how you roll in teddy bear lane.
I thought I was doing some big,selfless thing,and it was all about me.
I guess I just have to let you feel what you need to feel.
But whatever it's worth,I I really am sorry that I hurt you.
I was thinking,I spent the whole day with you, breathing the same air and everything,and it w-wasn't so bad.
Gio.
I guess it was stupid,banning you from my life.
No,it's not stupid,not if that's what you feel.
You know,I've known you for a while,and I've seen you at work, swimming with those sharks at "mode," keeping daniel's head above water.
You're gonna do great things one day,suarez.
I don't blame you for choosing yourself.
oh,willie,don't feel bad.
Bad? Why should I feel bad? Well,you lost alexis' portion of meade, and now you have to share "mode" with daniel.
I'm distraught.
Oh,marc,my adorable but shortsighted minion, six months ago,I was nothing more than a salaried employee for meade.
Now I control 50% of a publishing empire.
Only 50% to go.
Did I say "distraught"? I meant "hot.
" You look pretty good.
No jailhouse tattoos.
You haven't lived until you've been thoroughly deloused.
Tell me about it.
So are you sure you don't want to stick around for a while? No,I don't trust wilhelmina not to sic the D.
A.
On me again.
Besides,I could use a break.
Provence is beautiful this time of year.
My flight leaves in an hour.
So while you're in france,maybe you can spend some time getting to know D.
J.
You're okay with that? He's your son.
I'm sorry I slept with your girlfriend.
I'm sorry for trying to punch you.
I'm sorry you suck at fighting.
Thanks,mom.
For what? For always being there,for never judging me.
I love you.
I lost you once.
I don't want to lose you again.
you won'T.
I'll be back.
I promise.
*Just because I'm hurting* *doesn't mean I'm hurt* *doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve no better and no worse* *I just got lost every river that I tried to cross* *eve door I ever tried was locked* *oh,and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off* *you might be a big fish in a little pond* *doesn't mean you've won* *'cause along may come a bigger one* *oh,and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off* *oh,and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off*