Ackley Bridge (2017) s03e05 Episode Script

- Good morning everyone.
- I've got into drama school.
Nasreen! Oxford! You're in! How proud the whole school's gonna be! Come back to school.
You did what? - We did Mr Evershed's house.
- Dad! It was you in my house, wasn't it? CRYING: I don't know if I know what's right any more.
- Yes, you do.
- We'd be better off without you.
Come on, Dad, what you doing up there? I slept with Cory.
- No round two? - He's only gone the shops.
You'd better be quick then, hadn't you? DOOR OPENS CHAIN JANGLES Why is the chain on? Come on, we better.
DOOR SLAMS OPEN Dad, this ain't what it looks like! You're sleeping with my girlfriend?! She said you couldn't Come here, you little ! Yeah, ride away! And don't come back! LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYS You said we were getting milk.
Yeah, we'll get milk when we get back! Anyway, you love dancing! You've got to dance for your thing.
I hate dancing, and it's not this sort of dancing and you don't remember what the thing is! Abort.
Pupils.
We have to leave? Brilliant.
Sorry, guys.
Miss Oakes doesn't want to end up on Snapchat.
See you, guys.
Bye.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Do you think she saw me? Dunno.
Miss Oakes, did you see Naveed? So, why ARE you staying here? 'Cos I reckon either your dad's kicked off, or you knocked someone up.
Again.
What I really want to know is, have you got more children or STIs? Shut up.
I bought them condoms, didn't I? Ah, yeah.
The magic pack of unopened condoms that miraculously protect you from your bedside table.
I brought you those.
- THEY LAUGH - Is it Kevin, then? CORY SIGHS - Yeah.
- Come on, spill the tea.
I think I've properly done it this time.
NAVEED LAUGHS I slept with Gemma.
I don't even know why.
It was just the once.
I mean, I don't even fancy her, - have you seen the state of her? - Are you off your head? What's wrong with you? Your dad nearly killed himself last year.
I wasn't saying it were right.
No, 'cos you don't think, do you? Ever? About anyone other than you.
'Cos to you it's just sex, but to someone with actual human feelings, it's I always knew you were a slut, Cory.
Just turns out you're not a very nice person.
- KNOCKING ON DOOR - DOOR OPENS Naveed, can you, er ? Dad, I've told you, knocking doesn't count - if you don't wait for an answer.
- Oh.
Sorry.
Are you in for dinner tomorrow night? Only, your mother needs to know how much chapli kebab to take out the freezer.
Yeah, I'm in for dinner.
Can you please go now? Please! Nav, mate.
It's late, all right? She'll go in the morning.
Who's going in the morning? - Sit down, Sam.
- Don't tell her to sit down! You're a snake and a grass and you're gone.
Yeah, well, this ain't your house, Adam.
You don't get to decide nowt! - Oh, you're lucky, I mean it.
- Adam! Sorry, Sam.
Decision's made.
Well, screw the both of you! Grandpa? HE SPITS Animals.
Sam! Naveed.
Can we, er ? I'll wait.
I'll go.
Do you want to know the parent's curse, Naveed? Not if I'm going to miss assembly.
All we ever want for you is absolutely everything.
But, failing that, we'll settle for you being happy.
And, your mother and I, well, we don't think that boyfriend of yours is making you feel like that.
Dad.
Cory's not my boyfriend.
- Thank God! - Mum! She came up with a whole ruse about chapli kebab to check on you.
Not OK, Mum.
It's one thing to lie about your sexuality, it's quite another to lie about dinner.
If he's not your boyfriend then why is he making you this miserable? You wouldn't understand.
DOOR SLAMS Come on, let's work harder.
Come on! WHISTLE TOOTS Put some effort in.
Good stuff, come on! Come on, girls! - How's it going? - Well, they're trying.
- No necks broken.
- WHISTLE BLOWS Ah, they're doing their best.
You not a fan of rugby, Ken? Rugby, yes.
This PHONE DIALS Oh, come on, that's more like it! Come on! Don't know why you insist on persevering with this lot when all they're so clearly Brilliant! hopeless.
- You've got limited resources, Mand.
- Mandy.
It would be good if there was at least one area of the school that wasn't a total laughing stock.
How many academies in your trust are sending a student to Oxford, Ken? Oh, yes, Nasreen Paracha, your golden goose.
How many weeks has she missed again? Think she might be a little undercooked, that one.
You, on the other hand, you look about ready to pop.
- PHONE RINGS - Oh.
Talk to me.
So, welcome to the Nasreen Dream Team.
Am I in trouble? Oh, no.
Not even a little bit, no.
I've just been chatting to your teachers about how you've been getting on, and the feedback that I've been getting is that it's it's been a bit tricky.
- I'm trying.
- Exactly.
You are.
And you are also Ackley's only pupil to ever apply to Oxbridge, let alone be offered a place.
And we are counting on you to put this school on the map, which is why we're going to be giving you extra tuition.
- After school, every night.
- For as long as you need.
Yes.
And Mr Hyatt, here, he's going to drive you to the Northern Medical Conference next weekend in Leeds.
Yeah, road trip, yeah! They're doing a brilliant lecture on advanced microbiology.
What? It's going to be hard, it is, it's going to take everything you've got between now and the end of the year, but we really think you can do this.
- No.
I'm sorry.
- Nasreen? - I'm sorry.
- No, Nasreen, don't don't go.
DOOR CLOSES Can I sit? I'm sorry, mate.
I don't want to argue.
I don't want to argue either.
It's like, you're my best mate.
It's just, like 'cos Dad's always angry and whatever.
I dunno.
Like, with you, it's, like, it's different.
You helped me be me and I'll never not be grateful for that.
I said it in my very first gig.
I said it'll always be you.
But that's the problem.
Because it will.
This isn't good.
OK, well, um What do you want to have, like, be different? Just tell me, say it.
Whatever it is, I'll do it.
I just need you to let me go.
We're over.
You're bad for me.
HE SHOUTS - What you doing?! - Back off! - CROWD SHOUTS - What's that all about? - Fight! Fight! Fight! - Come here.
Back off! Anyone fighting on three will be in detention and I am counting from two.
Nav.
Cory.
Cory.
Naveed.
- Do you want to talk about it? - No.
I'm going to have to call your dad.
No, don't, miss.
You see, I messed up.
He's a bit annoyed.
Well, I'm sure that there's nothing you've done that isn't I slept with his girlfriend, so Oh.
Am I bad person, miss? I'm not sure I believe in bad people, Cory.
I think we can make bad choices, we can do bad things.
But we can always be better.
She must be really special.
She ain't.
I just like it, I like how it feels.
Er Well, sex, um, can be very pleasurable, yes.
I don't mean that.
I mean, it feels, erm I feel like, uh Apologise to your dad, Cory, hmm? Be the better man.
Start today.
You've gone red, miss.
- No, I haven't.
- Yeah, proper ketchup.
HUSHED VOICE: Sam, I got you some things.
Just underwear, toothbrush, toothpaste, Monster Munch.
- Thanks.
- So where you staying then? Oh, you know.
Come on, man, chin up.
I don't know what's happened.
Look, just forget about him.
I just come to say, erm come to say sorry.
I can be better.
And I want to.
I want to change, I want to be better.
You're my dad.
Kev, you coming? Yeah.
You let her in and not me? When you love someone, you forgive 'em.
Dad? Oh, my! - Hi.
- Miss, if I had known that you were - Thanks, Mum.
- I am sorry.
I mean, I would have obviously knocked, but you've got no door.
Oh, wow.
You weren't kidding when you said you were trying.
No, but it doesn't matter because none of it is going in.
My offer is three A's, miss, - I don't think I'm going to get in.
- Nasreen, you are a star.
And you're going to shine bright no matter where you go or what you do.
CLAPPING - Mum.
- I'm sorry, I got carried away.
This is a private conversation.
Not when you're my daughter and not when it's this important, huh? Don't you think I've seen how bloody miserable you are? You look like you're trying to solve bloody Crimewatch.
It's Oxford.
Oxford is not the be all and end all, Nasreen.
If you get in then that's brilliant.
If you don't and you go to another university then it will be different, but it'll also be brilliant.
What about putting school on the map? Well, the school is there to serve YOU, not the other way around.
There's more important things in life than Ackley Bridge College.
NASREEN AND KANEEZ BICKER THEN LAUGH Here we are.
Better late than never.
Right, erm I'm leaving on Friday.
- Sorry.
- It's been a long time coming.
You're not half kidding, you're due in two weeks.
So, you ready to take the wheel? As I'll ever be.
Better have some industrial-strength seat belts.
Cheers, Martin.
Well, I think the school will benefit from some fresh ideas.
You're not getting your own office, Sue.
You'll be fine.
Martin and Sue.
God, they're more annoying than the kids.
At least I can put them in detention.
I've heard of worse management strategies.
- Hey.
Do you want to hear the goss? - Always.
Cory Wilson has slept with his dad's girlfriend.
No! Little sod! That is unbelievable.
Needs to learn to keep it in his pants, that one.
Keep an eye out for him, will you? He's a good kid, really.
Miss Carter.
- You need to come to the staffroom right now.
- Oh.
ALL: Surprise! THEY CHEER You! Oh! Perfect timing, mate.
Nice one.
Keep the change.
Thank you.
Sir.
Can I have some? Cory, what do you think you're doing? Been kicked out, sir.
I needed somewhere to sleep.
- Well, you can't stay here.
- Why not? Stayed here last night.
It's a better shower anyway.
(HE SIGHS) Right, come on.
Oh, jeez! What are you doing here, Sam? It's like Children Of The Corn.
Miss Oakes, that number's no longer 24-hour.
- What, Craigsloft? - Yeah.
Blessing in disguise.
Addict central.
- The other hostel's not even in Ackley.
- Hang on a sec.
Right, they've only got one room.
- So, short of rock, paper, scissors - Sam.
Figured you'd say that.
ON THE PHONE: We'll take the room, please.
Female student.
Yep, she's 16.
OK, see you soon.
Thank you.
Bye.
I'll go.
Cracking party on Monday.
One of the best.
See you tomorrow.
Right, so, what are we gonna do with Cory? It's my fault.
I sent him home to apologise.
I should've arranged a meeting with his dad.
I You did what you thought was right.
That's all any of us can do.
The key to this job is not to care too much.
And also to care too much.
Right, I'm breaking the emergency glass.
He can sleep at mine.
Lord knows, I've got a cot that needs assembling.
Thank you.
We can call his dad in the morning, and then we'll SHE GASPS - What? - I'm having a baby.
Oh, bloody hell! I haven't got my baby bag.
- Lean on me, Miss Carter.
- It's a baby, Kaneez, - it is not a broken leg.
- Slowly.
- Great.
Slowly.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
You're not driving.
- I'm a great driver.
- You ran over Mr Hyatt.
No, that were his fault.
Lorraine gonna drive.
It's all right.
OK, so I think it's a balti, but Wait, yeah, no, there's no coriander.
It is and all! Five out of five.
He's like a bloody truffle pig, this one.
Can tell a curry by smell alone? It's like a superpower.
Gonna join the Bollywood Avengers.
Right, Miss Carter has gotten off safely.
So you're coming home with me tonight, Cory.
All right.
- Thanks, Sue.
- Night.
Give us a whiff.
Just smells of curry.
Come on.
So, you must be Cory.
Sian, a word? If there's a problem I can just No problem, Cory, just give me a second.
Don't touch anything.
Why did you just say that? You can't go just bringing anyone in.
He's not "anyone".
He's a student and he's in trouble.
Yeah, but I don't know anything about him.
- Look, this is my house, Sian.
- OUR house, thank you, and he is not I'm not doing this now.
CLATTERING What did I just say? It's fine.
It's fine.
- SHE CHUCKLES - Great.
Right, well, this is you.
Er Not exactly the Ritz, is it? But there's a sink.
You've got a sink there.
The bathroom's just down the, hall.
The school's a bit of a trek, but it's, uh, just one bus, so Not goin'.
You have to come to school, Sam.
Been in this skanky uniform for three days, sir.
I'll have to get you something, won't I? But you have to come.
Are they gonna wake me when they come in? This is your room, Sam, you're not sharing it.
- What, all of it? - Yeah.
And I'll see you tomorrow morning.
Try and get a good night's sleep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
CLATTERING For God's sake.
Hm, what? CLATTERING Sort him out.
Oh, you're just getting a drink.
- I woke you.
- Oh, it's fine.
Used a posh glass.
That's a vase.
SHE CHUCKLES Did taste a bit weird.
Here.
I'm not surprised you're thirsty after inhaling all that curry.
Have you ever tried making it? You might surprise yourself.
You should ask to have a go.
I don't know if you've noticed, miss, but face don't fit.
Right, grab some ingredients.
Zain's dad'll try it, next thing you know, you'll be on MasterChef.
You've seen too many movies, miss.
There's only one thing I'm good at.
- Not exactly a career choice, is it, Cory? - Oh, I dunno.
Had some pretty good reviews.
I mean, not the sort you put on TripAdvisor like, but - And out of these lucky girls - Women.
I'm 18.
women out of all of them, how many of them have you actually liked? - All of them! - No, really.
I mean, actually actually liked.
Does it matter? Yeah.
Yeah, I think it does, I really do.
Sex isn't just about sex, it's about connection.
Yeah, I guess.
It makes me feel like I matter.
Like I mean something.
Just for a bit.
You're not alone in wanting that Cory.
Oh! No.
Miss What's he broken now? Nothing.
He's fine.
DOOR OPENS PHONE RINGS IN BACKGROUND DOOR CLOSES BABY GURGLES BABY GURGLES Kale? Cory.
Never mind.
Where's Miss Oakes? She's gone.
Wanted to get in bright and early on her first day, didn't she? You've got a new head teacher.
Hello, is that Mr Wilson? Hi, yes, my name's Sian Oakes, acting head of Ackley Bridge College.
Yes.
Mr Wilson, I need to speak to you about Cory's behaviour.
Right, you really don't need to come in, Kaneez.
Oh, no, no.
I help you get settled in.
You've forgotten! It's the baby brain already.
No, you wait here, Ms Carter, and I'll sort it all.
OK.
BOOT OPENS - They're very fiddly things, these are.
- I can do it.
- It's just like - I said I can do it, Kaneez! Kaneez.
I'm coming.
I was going to lie.
I was going to say, "Oh, I don't know where the time went," but it's not true, I know exactly where it went.
It went on all the important stuff, you know, like reports and planning and scraping together an extra 48 quid a week so the kids don't lose Waffle Wednesday.
And all the time, my son, my little baby boy, he doesn't even have a bed to sleep in! (SHE INHALES) And there's all this stuff, and I can't and I need Do you know? I feel like like I've run a race and I've crossed the line and it turns out I'm just at the start, you know, and I need to - 'Cos I can't This, um I need to - Ms Carter.
Ms Carter.
What you need, ALL you need, - is sleep.
- SOBBING: Yes.
You just got a baby come out of your body.
Rest, eh? Tomorrow I come back with tools.
You've got tools? I got tools.
You don't think I got a fool ex-husband who disappear to Pakistan for months on end leaving me with a leaky sink and a squeaky drawer, and I'm not the Bob the bloody Builder? Hey? Hey? So you lean on me, Ms Carter.
And the baby boy we do this together.
SHE SIGHS OK.
- Your neighbour's well fit.
- Trust me.
Less opportunities to see her, though, now she's got them curtains.
Zain, come on, we talked about this.
"Fewer opportunities.
" "Those curtains.
" And maybe try not to be such a pervert.
Ay up, new uniform! Looking fly! I can't believe I just said that.
Yes.
Good.
Good! Did you watch the film? The thing about The Great Gatsby is that people see it as this big love story, when actually, is Daisy all that great? Hm? Listen, if it makes you feel any better, - he still looks pretty cut up about it and all.
- Any takers? No? Head up, please, Naveed.
- OK, let me ask you this - Right, do you know what? is Gatsby all that great? As as a student of the great medical practitioner, Dr Missy, I hereby prescribe you a night out.
You need it, Naveed.
TANNOY: Would Cory Wilson please make his way to Miss Oakes' office.
Off you go.
In your own time, Cory.
- What do you think he's done? - No idea.
- DOOR OPENS - Miss, I just wanted to say.
- Cory! - PHONE BLEEPS Come and sit down.
Right, I have spoken to your dad about the incident with his girlfriend, and he's agreed to let you come back.
Is that it? Yes, yeah, that's it, that's all sorted, all done.
Yeah.
That's brilliant.
I will even drive you home myself, make sure he doesn't go back on his word.
So, unless there is anything else? - PHONE JINGLES - Yes! I thought we should try to develop your cookery skills.
Ooh, what we making? Curry! Specifically, a korma.
- Ooh! - Mrs Carp and I will be your guinea pigs.
- Ooh.
- You've got one hour.
Is this going to take an hour? - Any questions? - Yeah, about a million.
You've got this.
Good luck.
Ah.
Not exactly what I had in mind when you said a big night out.
Naveed, I know you're having a tough time, but I do not think that THIS is the answer.
Full-time church, part-time dance academy.
I am, by all accounts, - not completely terrible.
- THEY LAUGH But you hate dancing! Need it for drama school, don't I? Come September, I have to be (HE CLEARS THROAT) proficient in a dance of my choosing.
And it were either this or ballet, and you know ballet's just a bit Ballet's just a bit what? You know.
Ooooh! Naveed Haider, you total screaming homophobe! Come on, let's see what you've got.
Five, six, seven, eight! PIANO PLAYS And then one! Nice work! LAUGHING: What's that? Hello.
- Oh.
- Hi.
Erm.
Matthew, this is Nas.
Hi.
Friend from school.
Nas, Matthew.
Matthew is at drama school.
Home for a bit, helping out my mum.
Oh, I loved the piano.
It was really piano-y.
So, I was just thinking, maybe I don't know, do you want to get a drink? Probably all right, if I'm honest.
OK.
That's cool.
Some other time, though.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Definitely, er.
Well, have a good Nice to meet you, anyway, Nas.
Yeah, you too.
Bye-bye, Matthew.
- Don't say it, 'cos I already know.
- Why then? I've only just broken up with Cory.
I'm not ready.
Cory was never your boyfriend, Naveed.
HE SIGHS SHE SIGHS Cory! This is amazing.
Actually it is, and all.
That tastes just like you'd get down the restaurant.
- Does it? - Mm! Does it? MISS OAKES LAUGHS And Mrs Mrs Carp thinks you're some sort of curry messiah! I do still feel bad about that.
No, you don't.
No, you're right, I don't.
I should really be giving you detention.
Are you going to, Miss? No.
Not going to.
Is this you? Well, once you've let yourself in, give me a wave.
Let me know everything's OK, OK? Yeah.
Get in.
Cheers, Lorraine.
Good as new that.
You know you should really learn how to put in your own staples.
Seriously, how old are you? - Your Majesty.
- Martin.
A word.
Well, you're an idiot, aren't you, bro? Seriously, how old are you? - Before you say anything - I had the hostel on the phone yesterday.
They said you were alone in the room with Sam Murgatroyd.
Door shut.
Come on.
You can't seriously be insinuating I am repeating what they said.
She's gay.
I don't see what that has to do with anything.
- No obviously, obviously her sexuality - Martin.
Stop.
Look, I'm not having a go.
It is a non-issue, I dealt with it.
I'm telling you to remind you that these safeguards are in place to protect you, as well as the kids.
I don't need reminding about safeguards but thank you.
Happy to draw a line.
Look, I am really sorry for putting you in this position.
Thank you for saying that.
And I'm sorry for the, y'know, bowing and stuff.
Actually quite liked that.
Martin.
You care.
But you've got to remember to look after yourself too.
We're doing the kids no favours if we can't do that.
Yeah.
- Do you need a hand with them, sir? - No, thank you, Sam.
Tell you what.
That bus journey's a flippin' nightmare, isn't it? - Don't suppose I could cadge a lift? - Err.
I don't think that's appropriate.
And I don't want to talk about work anyway, so Look, I'll see you tomorrow, OK? Oi, man.
Pass it here.
- Give it here.
- Oh, you think you're big, do you? Are you going to throw another tray again? Where's your tie? - My what? - Detention, half an hour.
You know my rules.
Now don't be mad, but You've catfished him, Nasreen.
You've literally been a victim of catfishing.
Yeah, but Technically I don't think it counts if you go on the date? Don't wait up for me, Mammy.
Is he cute? Oh, I bet he's so cute.
Does he smell like a baby? You know, with a newborn Yeah, of course he smells like a real baby, you know, but she very fragile, so be careful, I'm just saying.
Oh, yes, hello.
Come in.
Come in.
You're like a bloody superwoman, you.
Buildin' this all yourself.
Razia had me knocked out for two days straight.
Well, I had a bit of help to get me started, didn't I? And now you have a bit of help to finish, eh? Right then, if you want to pack away your stuff you can go.
Make sure your uniforms are pristine tomorrow.
Cory wait.
Don't go.
You OK? Yeah, erm Keep getting scared I'll break something.
Oh, don't worry.
Oliver will be doing that before too long, won't he? By the way, I never got the chance to say thank you.
For what you did the other day.
Just Just for understanding it and for understanding me.
School is not going to be the same without you.
Oh, you'll be fine.
The school's in safe hands.
I was thinking about what you said.
About sex needing a connection.
I felt it.
I felt a connection.
I googled you.
I may have also googled you.
But I couldn't find anything, not a thing.
- Are you a spy? - Um, no, so, Matthew is my stage name.
My real name is Barney.
So your mum called you Barney Barnes.
- She thought it'd make me stand out.
- Yep, well as Ackley's most prominent gay Muslim I know exactly how much fun that is.
Just wait till you get to drama school, you can be as gay and Muslim as you like.
Which you'll need to distract from your dancing.
Ey.
What is he doing? I think, he's being happy.
Ow.
Sorry.
It's OK.
This ain't it.
I'm going to drop you here.
It's a ten minute walk.
We've got to be careful, Cory.
So careful.
No-one can know.
Don't we want to do this again, don't we? I get it.
I know you do.
Same time, same place tomorrow, OK? Save it for tomorrow.
Cool.
Cory? I won't be driving you so bring your bike.