Austin and Ally s03e05 Episode Script

Guess what I have? Mistletoe? Don't make us kiss.
It's embarrassing.
Mistletoe? I meant I have sweaty armpits.
I'm working way too hard.
Break time.
Trish! How'd your meeting at the toy company go? Amazing.
I have the prototype for this holiday season's hottest new toy.
The Austin Moon doll.
This is cool.
And check this out.
I'm gonna make Make, make you do a double take.
Bam! Awesome.
Will they be ready by Christmas? I want to give them out at the kids club party.
Yeah, these dolls are at the top of every kid's wish list.
Little Matthew wants an Austin doll.
Little Hanna wants an Austin doll.
Little Dez wants a Little Dez? I don't know how that got in there.
It's supposed to go directly to Santa.
Don't worry, Austin.
The toy company said they'll have a big shipment ready just in time for Christmas.
Great.
For a lot of these kids it's the only gift they're gonna get this year.
Yeah.
And since I'm hosting the party, I want to make this their best Christmas ever.
We're gonna write a new Christmas song for the kids and perform it as a surprise.
Great idea.
And there's gonna be press at the party too.
So it'll be a great opportunity to make yourself look good, Austin.
I don't care about that.
I just feel so lucky, I want to give back to people who aren't as lucky.
Perfect.
That's exactly the kind of junk you have to say to the press.
I don't know how I'm gonna have enough time to write a new song and plan this party.
Well, since the party's at the beach club, let me plan it.
I'll make sure this is the best Christmas those kids have ever had.
Wow, I've never seen you so excited about work before, Trish.
Hey, it's for the most worthy cause there is.
Making a child's Christmas wish come true.
Nope.
Making me look good so I can get a big promotion.
But that child's wish thing too.
That's the Christmas spirit.
When the crowd wants more, I bring on the thunder.
'Cause you've got my back, and I'm not going under.
You're my point, you're my guard.
You're the perfect chord.
And I see our names together on every billboard.
We're headed for the top, we've got it on lock.
We'll make 'em say "hey!" And we'll keep rockin'.
Oh, there's no way I could make it without ya.
Do it without ya, be here without ya.
It's no fun when you're doing it solo.
With you it's like, "whoa".
Yeah, and I know.
I own this dream.
'Cause I got you with me.
There's no way I could make it without ya.
Do it without ya, be here without ya.
Oh, Trish! I'm so excited we're having the kids club Christmas party at Shredders.
I can't thank you enough.
How about just thanking me with that party planner promotion and we'll call it even.
Silly goose.
I can't promote you until you pull off a disaster-free party.
We don't need another flying pig incident like at the luau.
That was pretty funny.
I mean, that won't ever happen again.
Ah.
Don't you just love Christmas? Deck the halls, with jingle bells.
Fa la la la.
And a partridge in a pear tree Yeah, that's not a song.
Joy to the silent night.
O, Christmas Tree! I'm here for the Santa job.
When do we start? I can't just give you the job.
You have to audition like everybody else.
I'm only hiring the best Santa.
Oh, I'm the best Santa because I have this inflatable Santa suit.
Observe.
The "I ate way too many cookies and milk" Saint Nick.
The "jolly belly like a bowl full of jelly" chubster we know as Santa Claus.
Ho ho ho.
Impressive.
But you still have to audition with those other Santas.
I'm surprised so many of them came out for a job that doesn't pay anything.
It's for charity.
What did you expect? I don't care about the money.
I'm just here to bring joy to kids and wear a really cool fat suit.
But mostly the fat suit.
Well, since you're the only guy left, I guess you can be Santa.
Yes! Not so fast, Red.
Chuck.
What are you doing here? What does it look like? I'm here to bring good tidings and cheer to the children of Miami.
No one's as jolly as me.
I'm so jolly, when I was born, the Doctor slapped me and I laughed in his face.
Well, I'm so jolly, people in England don't say "have a jolly good time".
They say "have a Chuck good time".
Guys.
There's only one way to settle this.
We're gonna have a Santa contest.
Ho ho ho Ho ho ho That was terrible.
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho ho ho.
That was good.
Okay.
I want to see who does the best job hanging up Christmas lights.
What does that have to do with being Santa? It doesn't have anything to do with me getting a promotion.
Why would you say that? Oh, I love hanging lights.
This shouldn't be too hard.
I think I made it worse.
You have to carry these sacks of toys across the beach and put them in that dumpster.
Okay.
On your mark, get set Go! Hey, look! Huh? Yes.
Ooh.
Another tie.
- Are you kidding? - No way! Why did we throw away those toys? Those weren't toys.
That was trash.
You guys just saved me like four hours of work.
Well, that's the last of the decorations.
Hey, look.
We're under the mistletoe again.
What do you know? - They're here! - Austin dolls, coming through.
- They're here.
- Just in time for the party.
This isn't right.
They all have long, flowing Princess hair.
Long, flowing, gorgeous Princess hair.
The toy company also makes Princess Priscilla dolls.
There must have been a mix-up at the factory.
I can't give these freak show dolls to the kids.
It'll ruin their Christmas.
I have to write Santa a new letter.
I am not replacing my Teddy Bear with one of these mutants.
What did the toy company say? They're gonna fix the dolls and send out a new shipment.
But because it's Christmas Eve, it's not gonna get here till after the holidays.
- What are we gonna do? - Relax, buddy.
You don't want to give out these dolls because they have long hair.
I think the solution's pretty obvious.
We'll give them these instead.
I can't give them an arts and crafts project for Christmas.
The kids will think it's lame.
I know how to fix this, Austin.
All we have to do is cut the dolls' hair.
Looks pretty good, huh? I think mine's better.
Let's see yours, Ally.
I couldn't bear cutting my doll's hair.
It's just so gorgeous.
Ah.
This is how we have to cut all the dolls' hair, and we need to do it fast.
- The Christmas party's tomorrow.
- I know exactly what to do.
Trish, you're going to see why I'll make the best Santa.
This Santa workshop was a great idea, Dez.
I'm almost out of gel.
Oh, don't worry.
Hey, look.
One of Santa's helpers is here with more.
For the last time, kid.
I don't work at the North Pole.
I'm just a delivery guy.
Hey.
You're not just a delivery guy.
You're a guy who delivers dreams.
Whatever, kid.
Woo.
We did it.
Those needy kids are gonna get their Christmas wish.
And that's more important to me than getting my promotion.
Oh, who am I kidding? I'm just doing this for the money.
Hey, guys.
I just realized something.
That it's way too long past Labor Day to be wearing that white top? No.
It's Christmas morning.
Oh yeah.
Merry Christmas, guys.
Merry Christmas.
Okay, enough of this sentimental garbage.
We've got presents to wrap.
It's too bad Santa isn't here to help us.
Oh, but he is.
Say hello to Santa.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho ho Not so fast, Red.
How does he always show up the exact time Dez is about to win something? It's one of my many talents.
I can also burp the alphabet, tie my shoes with one hand And I do a pretty mean impression of my third grade English teacher Mr.
Nagel.
Hi, I'm Mr.
Nagel.
Uh, how do we know if that's a good impression? We don't know that guy.
Trust me, it's spot on.
Before I decide who's gonna be Santa, I have one more contest.
Which one of you can wrap presents the fastest? Oh, that would be me.
I'm so fast, the next time Chuck says "Not so fast, Red".
He's gonna say "not so Dez, Red".
Well, I'm so fast, pitchers don't throw fastballs They throw Chuck balls.
I'm so fast there's now three measurements of speed.
The speed of sound, the speed of light, and the speed of Dez.
- I'm so fast - Quit yapping and start wrapping.
Yes, Ma'am.
Pfft! Amateur.
Oh, it's on.
Whoa! Finished! - I won.
- No, I won.
Nobody's won yet.
Let's see which Santa can carry the most gifts down to the beach club.
We're not falling for that.
You just want us to do your work so you can get a promotion.
Yeah.
- Hey, Red.
Your shoe's untied.
- Oh, thanks.
I'm gonna win! No, you're not.
We'd better get down to the beach club.
I want to personally hand out all the gifts to the kids.
I'll meet you down there.
- What are you doing? - Uh Not buying you a last minute Christmas present.
That's for sure.
Hey, look.
We forgot a couple of dolls.
I still can't figure out why they came with baby bottles.
Mommy, change me.
The Austin doll just peed on me.
Why did it do that? Oh no.
The toy company also makes "Mommy, Change Me" dolls.
- They must have mixed that up, too! - That explains the bottle.
We have to get to the party before Austin gives these to the kids.
Maybe they're not all messed up.
Mommy, change me.
Okay.
They're all messed up.
Here you go, sweetie.
I hope it's what you wanted.
I got it straight from Santa Claus.
That's me.
An Austin Moon doll? Thank you so much, Austin.
This is the best Christmas ever.
Aw.
That's why I love Christmas.
I have to say I doubted Trish, but she actually pulled off a disaster-free party.
Yeah, she did.
Hey, kids! Those dolls don't just look cool.
For a real surprise, press the button.
- Mommy, change me.
- Austin, no! That's not what they're supposed to do.
This isn't a real Austin doll.
You ruined Christmas.
I can't believe I ruined Christmas.
It's not your fault, Austin.
You didn't know.
Trish, do something.
The party's a disaster.
Look, kids.
It's Santa.
Ho ho ho.
He's not the real Santa.
Well how about this one? Ho ho ho.
He isn't either.
I'm Santa, little girl.
How else would I know that you wanted an Austin doll for Christmas? Every kid in Miami wanted one.
She's good.
Neither one of you is Santa.
I'm Santa.
No, I'm Santa.
No, I'm Santa.
No, I'm Santa.
No, I'm Santa.
No, I'm Santa! - No, I'm Santa! - I'm Santa.
- No, I'm Santa.
- I'm Santa.
No, I'm Santa.
First I ruin Christmas, now they're ruining the party.
On the bright side, no one's paying attention to the dolls anymore.
So About that promotion? I give promotions to party planners.
Not party wreckers! Wait wait.
I can save this.
Kids, go eat Christmas cookies.
Austin and Ally, get ready.
Dez and Chuck, clean this place up.
- Why do we have to clean this place up? - Do you want to see new year's? Yes, Ma'am.
And now to make your Christmas wishes come true, give it up for Austin and Ally.
What's your favorite time of year? Can you tell me? The one that never gets here fast enough.
Is it fall or spring? A summer thing? Winter is my favorite time because.
A billion lights are blinking.
Jingle bells are ringing.
Everybody's singing "I love Christmas".
Santa's almost flying.
Lots of ribbon tying.
Presents multiplying.
I love Christmas! Oh-oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh.
Oh-oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh.
Oh-oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh.
I love Christmas! You'd better watch out for that mistletoe, they're hanging.
Or you might have to pucker up and kiss someone.
Friends you know, are gonna pray for snow.
A winter wonderland's a lot more fun.
A lot more fun.
I love Christmas! I love Christmas! A billion lights are blinking.
Jingle bells are ringing.
Everybody's singing.
"I love Christmas".
Santa's almost flying.
Lots of ribbon tying.
Presents multiplying.
I love Christmas! Oh-oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh.
Oh-oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh.
Oh-oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh.
I love Christmas! I take it back, Austin.
You didn't ruin Christmas.
This is the best Christmas ever.
For me too.
I told you Christmas wasn't about presents.
I'm glad you think so.
Because I didn't get you anything.
What? I'm kidding.
So I decided you're getting that promotion.
Congratulations, Trish.
You're Shredders' new party planner.
Really? Thank you.
So when do I get my raise? Oh, this promotion doesn't come with more money.
Just a bigger title and longer hours.
Merry Christmas, party planner.
See you tomorrow at 6:00 A.
M.
Let that be a lesson to you, kid.
Hard work is waste of time.
You make a pretty good Santa, Dez.
Thanks, Chuck.
You too.
We'll call this one a tie as long as you admit that I'm better than you at everything else.
Deal.
Wait, what? - Merry Christmas, Red.
- I got something for you, too.
I love it.
I love it too.
I don't know why we're always so competitive.
We should stop doing that.
But you have to admit I'm nicer than you.
Actually, I'm a lot nicer than you.
- No, I'm nicer than you.
- I'm definitely nicer.
Thanks, Austin.
I love it.
Merry Christmas, Ally.
Hey, look.
We're under the mistletoe again.
Well, rules are rules.
- I'm nicer.
- No, I'm nicer.
Look out! You're right, Red.
You are nicer.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! I've got a delivery here for Austin Moon.
That's me.
Hey, it's the Austin Moon doll.
I'm gonna make Make, make you do a double take.
Bam! - They're all fixed.
- But, that's weird.
The toy company said they wouldn't be ready till after Christmas.
Hey, that guy looks a lot like Santa Claus.
You don't think That Larry really works for Santa? I knew it! For the last time kid I don't work at the North Pole, I'm just a delivery guy.
Aw! Let's get the sleigh and got out of here Santa, we almost blew our cover.