Barry (2018) s03e05 Episode Script

1 (GUNSHOT) (WIND BLOWING QUIETLY, SWELLS) - I didn't (GRUNTS) - Shots fired! - (GUNFIRE) - (SOLDIERS SHOUTING) - Corpsman! - (GUNFIRE) Corpsman Corpsman! BARRY: Albert, Albert, you're in shock.
Hold on.
(WHIMPERING) - (WIND BLOWING) - (GUNFIRE SLOWLY FADES OUT) ♪ (KNOCKING) (DOOR OPENS) Special Agent Albert Nguyen.
I'm here to help you catch whoever killed Detective Janice Moss.
I'm Detective Mae Dunn, and this is Chief Krauss.
You can call me Big Cat.
Look, I know this is an international case, and they have to send a Fed, but we already know who killed Detective Moss.
It was a Chechen assassin called the Raven.
Yeah, whoever came up with that is a clown.
Wow.
ALBERT NGUYEN: Right, so when I was briefed, it turns out a guy I served with was with Mr.
Cousineau when you found the body.
- Barry Berkman? - NGUYEN: Yeah.
Yeah, we cleared him.
He was with the wrong guy at the wrong time.
Berkman was just helping his friend.
- Yeah, sounds like him.
- KRAUSS: They were both framed by the Raven.
I'm gonna take you to your desk and get you briefed.
Welcome aboard, Tuff Turf! NATALIE (WHISPERS): Sally.
Hey, Sally, wake up.
It's the whole home screen.
(WHEEZING LAUGH) Look at your freakin' face! It's huge! That face is being seen everywhere this morning.
And you're still a 98% on Rotty T's.
This is insane! It's all happening! (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) Why the fuck is nobody noticing you? Look, it only went up on BanShe last night.
Right.
Mm.
(SIGHS) If anything, I should just enjoy my anonymity while it lasts.
Because in a few short days, quiet coffee alone won't even be possible "Joplin"'s not on the homepage anymore.
What? I (SCOFFS) It was literally on the home page less than an hour ago.
- Okay.
That's weird.
- Yeah.
- Um, "Joplin" - "Joplin.
" Right.
- Where are we? - (NERVOUS LAUGH) BARRY: Thanks for doing this on such short notice.
JERMAINE: Oh, no worries, man.
NICK: We did make some changes to your room, but it's, like, pretty much the same thing.
- I think you're gonna love it.
- BARRY: Oh, yeah? - Maybe.
Who knows.
- Be sweet.
We turned it into an audition room! (LAUGHS) Green screen is for auditions, and the recording booth is for, uh, V.
O.
stuff.
I'm recording a really sick comedy record, man.
Where do I sleep? - W-well, don't sleep there.
- No.
No, and I don't No, and don't sleep over there - because that's where all of - And don't sleep over there either - 'cause that's just kinda my space.
- You know what? Actually, maybe we'll just mark a little space for you right here on the floor.
(SET CHATTER) PRODUCER: Hey, hey! There he is! The man of the hour.
- Nice "Variety" piece.
- Thank you.
Did you get the pages, the scene with your dying wife? Right here.
You know what, it's beautifully written.
I hope I do it justice.
Every day you hope to be surprised in this business, - and you almost never are.
- Thanks for the opportunity.
I'm so happy to be here.
Well, hey, we'll be watching.
(WHISPERS): Hey.
Hey.
Listen.
I am so sorry that I threw tea in your face, you know, at "Murder, She Wrote," I That was wrong, and I apologize.
(EXHALES) Wow.
Thank you for that.
I'm glad we had this little opportunity to reconnect.
Me, too.
- (DIRT BIKES ROARING) - FUCHES: Hi there! Miss? Hi! You must be, uh, Traci, right? Sure, you are.
(LAUGHS) Hey, is your brother, uh, this guy? Yeah.
He's dead.
Oh, yeah, he sure is.
(LAUGHS) But I'm a private investigator.
- Ken Goulet, and I - (BIKES ROARING) I know that your brother's good name was sullied by the LAPD, and that he was running a crime ring.
We both know that isn't true, right? Probably is true.
- Uh - (ROARING) Whoa! Jesus Christ.
Heh, well All right, yeah.
Look, look, look, look.
They set him up, - and I can give you the guy who did it.
- We're good.
Oh, you're good, huh? I see.
You don't want justice.
You don't want your brothers to have a little vengeance, huh? Hey, wait! - (BIKE ROARING) - This guy, Barry, owes him 1,700 bucks for a hot tub! (DIRT BIKE IDLING) Yeah.
Uh-huh.
So, I got out my laptop and typed out the entire title, J-O-P-L-I-N, and still had no matches.
It wasn't until I typed out S-A-L-L-Y R-E-E-D N-E-W S-H-O-W J-O-P-L-I that it auto-completed the rest, and I found the show, so what do we need to do to get it back on the homepage? We are canceling the show.
- What? - Why? Well, the algorithm felt it wasn't hitting the right taste clusters.
T-taste clusters? It's been 12 hours.
Don't we need time to get word of mouth? Oh, the algorithm takes word of mouth into account.
- Mm.
- But it considers other things, too.
For instance, if viewers see someone eating dessert within the first two minutes of the episode, they almost always finish the entire season.
- Always.
- Oh, and it's not just dessert.
The same goes for Central Park, kittens, Dev Patel (BOTH MOUTHING): Dev Patel.
We-we have a 98 on Rotten Tomatoes.
- Right.
- 98.
And people were They were crying at the screening.
I know, and I was one of them.
But I guess I was wrong.
I Why did you even bother watching cuts, - giving us notes - Careful.
if you're just going to let some machine make all your decisions for you? See, I-I can see that you're upset, and if there was someone I could call to override the decision, I would.
But I can't because I am that person.
You know, does that track for you? You know, maybe if "Pam!" hadn't stolen your thunder "Pam!" has a 27%! But the right verticals are watching.
Taste clusters exploding.
Yeah, you know, I've been doing this for 30 years, and if there's anything I've learned, it's nobody knows anything except the algorithm.
Fuck the algorithm! And, you know, as you were saying that, I thought (INAUDIBLE) So, what do you think? - W-what is this? - It's for rent, and this could be yours and Gordon's new house.
If you like it.
(SCOFFS) You're giving us a house? - That's crazy.
- It's not crazy.
I know who I've been.
And I need to be closer to you.
♪ - Where'd that money come from? - Oh, that doesn't matter.
Honestly, that doesn't matter.
Want to see the inside? Sure.
Come on.
Sally? Sally? SALLY: Yeah (SIGHS) This probably won't help anything, but for what it's worth, I learned so much from watching you work.
It was inspirational to see you put yourself out there and create something so wonderful from scratch.
I feel like I grew as an artist and a person, and I'll never forget it.
Plus, I know the next show you make's gonna be even better, so fuck BanShe.
♪ Okay.
Look, I've been under a lot of pressure lately, and, um, I'm trying to make things right, but doing that is very stressful.
And I think I just took it out on Sally.
Look, I acknowledge it sucks to get yelled at, but I don't think it's something to get dumped over.
First off, great to see you, and as much as we love coming home, finding you sitting here you're always welcome to call ahead.
You killed all my buddies.
- Shit, I'm sorry about that, man.
- NOHO HANK: No, no, no.
I think this is all part of same problem, right? It's classic situation of bottling it up.
You keep who you are a secret because you cannot be who you really are.
So, you're trying to be two different guys at once, and that is simply not sustainable.
So, naturally, there is resentment, anger, distrust.
It makes sense you would turn into human pressure cooker and shoot up all of our friends and eventually yell at your girlfriend.
I didn't yell at my girlfriend.
I like, loudly stated You know, like I-I basic I went like this.
I was like, (SLIGHTLY LOUD): "Sally.
You gotta help my friend.
" (NORMAL): Like, I said it that loud.
Sure.
Barry you have massive, massive rage issues.
And I think they are triggered when you feel slighted, maybe? And perhaps that would not happen if you are honest upfront.
But Sally can't know who I am.
Oh, obviously, but I'm talking about small gesture.
You know, something creative.
The real you.
Um our first night, when we here in the house, I make Hank traditional Bolivian meal.
- It was heaven.
- And Yeah, it Well, it made me feel very close to him.
NOHO HANK: Cristobal and I thrive on little moments like that.
And honesty.
Uh, yeah.
Honesty.
♪ (SIGHS) (SPEAKING SPANISH) (SPEAKING SPANISH) KRAUSS: I like this graphic here, but I think I may prefer this font over here.
Maybe we can have the boys down at the paint shop do a few more mock-ups? So this, uh, NoHo Hank guy's lying his freakin' ass off.
What did the rest of his guys say? Hey, Big Cat.
Um You raided the nursery and brought these guys in, right? Or were you too busy making a logo for something that doesn't even exist? We were waiting to put surveillance on them first to get proof.
All right, so let me get this straight.
Um you haven't placed a bug in there yet? No, we have not.
You know what? Doesn't fuckin' matter.
These pieces of shit are a known crime organization.
So, we send some units over there, we round up these fuckin' assholes, we bring them back here, we step on their necks, and we see if their stories match up with Hank's.
Yes? Now.
Now! ("BITCH" BY MEREDITH BROOKS PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) I'm a bitch, I'm a lover ♪ I'm a child, I'm a mother ♪ I'm a sinner, I'm a saint ♪ I do not feel ashamed ♪ I'm your hell ♪ Sorry.
(KEYS JINGLING) BARRY: Shit.
Would you mind helping me? Thanks.
(DOOR SHUTS) - Was that him? - Yeah, it was him.
I don't know.
I didn't think he'd be home.
I just kinda, like, ran into him and (STAMMERING) just froze, you know? (BOTH PANTING) Okay, so All right, so, I-I'll take the gun, and I'll just go back to his apartment, and I'll knock on the door, and then, I'll just - just do it.
- No, no, I I think we should wait until he comes out.
I think we should follow him and go somewhere safe.
- And I'm gonna do it.
- No, I-I can do it, Mom I'm doing it.
Do you hear me? I'm gonna do it.
Okay, I see you.
You can see me? - Yes? Good, good.
- (INDISTINCT PHONE RESPONSE) Yandar! Akhmal! Say hello to elders from Grozny.
- BOTH: Hello! - BATIR: Pick up heroin, eh? Hello.
BATIR: Good.
Uh, higher.
Little higher.
Huh? - (LAUGHS) - ANDREI (ON PHONE): Where is everybody? This is whole operation? This? Well, is matter of perspective.
I mean, it's hard to get a grasp of the size of the place, but when you see it, it's much bigger than it looks, eh? Is very sophisticated cover for heroin operation, right? No? Am I crazy? Okay, I have an idea.
So, from up here, you can see whole operation, eh? Now, remember, when we come here, there was nothing, eh? Just empty car parking lot.
(LAUGHS) Can you imagine? (CAR DOORS OPENING) ANDREI: Who these guys? - Batir? - Don't shoot! - (GUNSHOT) - Ah! Fuck you! ANDREI: What the fuck? (SIRENS WAILING) Batir? (GUNSHOTS OVER PHONE) Is this policía? - (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) - (SIRENS WAILING) ANDREI: Batir? (SHARP INHALE) (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) - (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) - (ALL SHOUTING) (SCREAMING) Fuck! - (CONTINUES SCREAMING) - OFFICER: Fall back! Fall back! - (LOUD EXPLOSION) - Oh! (EXPLOSIONS CONTINUE, GLASS SHATTERING) Batir, this is crazy time shit show.
Y-y-you and I, we going to have talk about your future.
(GUNFIRE, SHOUTING CONTINUE) (SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) JOE MANTEGNA: Gene! You made it! GENE COUSINEAU: Yeah! Indeed, I did.
- Well, I'm glad you did.
- GENE: Thank you.
I want you to meet some people.
These are the Colemans from the Pasadena Playhouse.
Of course, I know who you are.
I hear your productions are marvelous.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
JOE: And this is Annie Eisner.
She teaches art at a school my kids went to.
Hi.
Hi, Gene.
You know each other? We do.
Been a long time.
(SIGHS) Well, shit.
Um - Hey.
Well, thanks for the, uh, wine.
- Yeah.
And why don't you just, um, uh, give it to Gabby at the bar and have him make you a drink while you're there.
I will.
And we are set.
- I'm so excited.
- Me, too.
The broker in Santa Fe said the place is available to check out as early as next week.
Are you free to drive down with me? I'm completely free, Hank.
(SIGHS) Yes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, we should load up our phones with some audiobooks.
Uh, we have to finish the last "Percy Jackson.
" - Oh, right.
"Percy Jackson " - (PHONE BUZZING) Akhmal, I told you, I'm taking personal day.
AKHMAL: Hank.
We just got hit by Bolivians.
They took me.
I'm calling from trunk of car.
What do you mean we just got hit by Bolivians? AKHMAL: A woman named Elena is coming for you.
- Elena? Who's Elena? - AKHMAL: You must run.
♪ Hank I'm sorry.
(BANGING ON DOOR) (YELLING IN SPANISH) CRISTOBAL: No! No! No! (ALL SHOUTING IN SPANISH) - (ELENA SHOUTING IN SPANISH) - (CLAPPING) (MANIACAL LAUGH) (SHOUTING) (SPEAKING SPANISH) (MANIACAL LAUGH) (QUIET BREATHS) (QUIET GASP) (SOFT CRYING) (FOOTSTEPS RECEDING) (DOOR OPENS, SHUTS) So, I'm coming up with a voice for Fat Tony, and figure, might as well talk like my Uncle Willy.
(GRAVELLY): That's why Fat Tony talks like this.
(LAUGHTER) Listen, ex I'm so sorry.
I don't mean to interrupt, but I-I I have to say something before we finish this amazing meal.
(SOFT JAZZ CONTINUES) Joe, we came up together.
We trained with the same people, we were in productions together.
And then, you had to go and be successful.
(LAUGHS) And I took your success very personally.
I started to lie about you.
I started rumors.
And after all that, you still invite me into your home.
And that shows me what kind of guy you are.
Look, I never would have violated my restraining order if I didn't think you had made some big changes in your life.
Well, sometimes you need a gun held to your head to see what's important in this world.
- I know exactly what you're talking about.
- Mm-hmm.
So please, let me just say I am so sorry.
Well, I appreciate it, Gene.
So, to new I'm not done.
I came here to make peace with you, Joe.
And lo and behold, I see somebody else I completely fucked over years ago.
Annie and I had a relationship.
She's a theater director.
She directed me in some productions.
She is a genius, and I am an asshole boyfriend.
Annie, I am so sorry for the way I treated you.
But I am so happy because it seems like life has been good to you.
JOE: Well then.
To new beginnings.
You're forgetting the part where you ruined my career.
Eh, fuck.
- What? - You blackballed me.
You were furious that I left you, and you made it your mission that I never work in New York or LA again.
And I didn't.
- I don't remember that.
- Yes, you do.
And I don't think that you're really apologizing for us.
You're just saying that so you don't have to feel bad anymore.
I Th-that just isn't true.
Well, you saying sorry doesn't bring my career back.
Joe, I'm so sorry.
I gotta go.
(SOFT JAZZ CONTINUES) Dear Sally, Here's the keys.
I'm sorry things didn't work out.
FYI this is what I'm about.
- (DOOR UNLOCKS) - (SALLY SOBBING) Sally.
Hey, um, I was dropping off the keys, um, but I-I made something for you that (SALLY CRYING) Are you okay? I just really need to be alone right now, please.
- Are you crying? - No.
(CRYING) Hey Hey Hey, is it okay that I'm comforting you? Okay.
(SNIFFLES) Are you okay? (HEAVY BREATHING) My show got canceled.
- What? - (CRYING) - Why? - No one watched it.
- It just premiered last night.
- I know! Fucking BanShe and fucking Diane Villa.
I mean, they're such cowards.
I mean, their jobs are totally pointless.
Like, a computer makes their decisions.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
- (SNIFFLES) - You worked so hard on that.
Yeah, no shit.
(SIGHS) For them, it's just another show, but for me, you know, it was everything.
You know, I just thought, like, if I could tell this story, then maybe my life might matter.
I know.
(SOBS) Do you know where she lives? I don't know.
(SNIFFLES) What, were you gonna, like, send her an angry letter or something? (SNIFFLES) No, no, nothing like that.
I'm just gonna freak her out a little bit.
Freak her out how? Oh, there's a lot of ways.
It's, you know nothing bad.
No, it's just like, for instance, I could send her a picture of herself sleeping.
You know, just as a way of being like, hey, not cool what you did to Sally, you know? So you'd break into her house? Oh, she'd never know I was there.
No, the whole point is to isolate her and make her feel like she's going insane.
So, I would just do little things like replace her dog with a slightly different dog, or, you know, change the furniture in her house so she thinks she's shrinking.
You know, basic stuff, most of it I learned in the military.
Some of it on a subreddit.
You know.
Basically, just plant a seed, and then they just kinda hang themselves, so it's super nonviolent.
But by the end of it, like, her brain will have essentially eaten itself, you know? But that's on the table if you want it.
Okay? I'm just so sorry this happened to you.
Can I make you some tea or something or - Barry? - Hm? I need you to get away from me.
Why? Get out.
Did I say something or Get the fuck out.
- Get the fuck out! - Okay.
Jesus Christ (CRYING) (INSECTS CHIRPING) Okay, there he is.
Okay, remember.
You walk up to him, you ask for directions, and then you turn and walk away.
R-right, I'll go up, I'll ask directions, - and then I'll get outta there.
- Yes, it is important for you (GUNSHOT) What the ? - (PANTING) Oh, my God - What - Oh, my Mom Wh - (GASPING) - (KYLE GROANING) - JULIE: Kyle No (CAR ENGINE STARTS) (TIRES SCREECH) (CAR SPEEDING AWAY) (INSECTS CHIRPING) (INSECTS CHIRPING)