Being Human (US) s03e05 Episode Script

Previously on Being Human You want me to screen my patients for the virus and then hand them over to you.
We take a pint, maybe two.
Because that worked so well with the girls upstairs who ended up dead.
Who's that? That's Kenny.
Poor kid.
He's never been sick, but he's never been out of that room.
And this crazy-ass dog scratched the hell out of me.
She should stay with us through her first turn.
I'm a reanimated corpse brought back from the dead by a spell.
Money we can do.
You start tomorrow.
She's only 15! What the hell is wrong with you? Erin? She'll come back.
I'm Liam McLean, Connor and Brynn's father.
I killed his daughter! No.
That won't do.
Your kind doesn't get any real nourishment from a rat.
Where you going, leech? Hmm? You got a name? Carlos.
Carlos Boyd.
Well, Mr.
Boyd, this is sad.
Of all the things you could've had for a last meal, you chose a rat.
This is getting easy.
There's no sport in it anymore.
It was never about the sport.
- What? - Nothing.
You look great.
Josh, stop adding up maple syrup in your head.
- I'm not.
- I have a job.
- I know.
- I'm kicking in for groceries.
- How's the job going? - It's a funeral home, so mourners aren't that messy, so the place is easy to keep clean and ah - Max is a good boss, so - Is he cute? So ask him out! This is your 2nd chance, right? You gotta take advantage! And maybe do it before those waffles stick to your hips.
- So mean! You're a pig! - Sorry.
Hey, Angel-face! We're watching Sally shove waffles down her gullet.
- You wanna join us? - No, I'll pass.
Overnight shift is just killing me.
You're a creature of the night! This shift should be right up your alley.
I'm just adjusting.
I'm tired.
And hungry, right? Yep.
Still hungry.
How's that going? I'm going to bed.
What, are we not supposed to talk about that? What do we have here? Mr.
Waite came in complaining of headaches and nausea.
Further tests revealed fatigue and mood swings.
It's all in the chart.
I I know you.
This man is clearly suffering from malnourishment.
He needs to eat something.
He has a specific diet.
He needs blood.
And most blood is dirty now, because of that bug.
That's an easy fix.
My blood is clean as a whistle.
Go ahead.
You don't know what you're doing.
It's ok, Aidan.
You need it.
It's survival.
Ok, that's enough.
Ah, ah, ah! Listen, buddy! Stop.
Stop! Stop! Hey, handsome.
Did you miss us? How does a 15-year-old girl with limited funds just vanish? Maybe Erin doesn't wanna be found.
I know it was sudden, the way she left, but we told her what she was, we taught her how to cope with the change.
And then we chased her away.
We didn't adopt her.
Did we? You weren't with her when she changed.
Maybe it's best that she's not in the house right now, with Aidan the way that he is.
I'm sorry, but I feel like I'm splitting the cable bill with a ticking time bomb.
Is this the right cloth Aaah! What is that? What is that? You know, we hear all about what time and gravity does to a woman's breasts, but nobody shines a light on what it does to a man's yam bag.
That's a silent suffering.
That's profound.
Oh, are you, like, giving a massage to a dead man? It helps with the rigor mortis.
It's a shame he can't feel this, I'm pretty good at massage.
Oh, is that so? No you're not.
I used to get light Swedish once a month.
Your form is terrible, buddy.
Hey you can see me, can't you? Oh, oh, man.
I am so sorry.
Here I am showing you old balls and talking about massage, I mean, this is work-place harassment.
I'm a harasser! Listen, I need help.
Uh, I think I'm gonna go back to work.
Ok.
Hey, hey, wait! Wait! Thank God I found you.
Look, mister, you have to go.
I'm already in a weird situation, and I can't be chatting it up with you.
- Please understand.
- You have to help me! My no-good sons are fighting over my will, but I wrote a 2nd will and What's with the tire iron? It's for moments like these.
I'm sorry.
This isn't the Ghost Whisperer.
You're not real.
You're not real.
You must just be on my mind.
With Henry dead, it makes sense that I would think of you and Sally and Nora, they would have seen you if you were ghosts.
No, we've been away, trying to resolve some stuff, find our doors.
Beth had daddy issues and I had a major self-esteem thing.
But then we heard you were back and Priorities change, right? Yeah, well, I can get rid of you.
I can exorcise you.
Kill us twice? No.
You wanna torture yourself for all the harm you've done.
And we're here to help you with that.
Every minute of every day.
Even in your dreams.
Hi! Can I help you? - Is Nora home? - No.
Ok.
Um, can you tell her Kat stopped by? I'm a friend of hers.
You totally look like a junkie.
I'm not a junkie.
I didn't say that you were.
I'm sorry.
No, I just woke up.
I'm Aidan.
Oh, um, Nora said goodish things about you.
Goodish things ok, well, I'll take that.
That's it.
Turn on the charm.
Invite her in.
What can I do for you, Kat? Oh.
I have a rent cheque for her.
I'm subletting Nora's place on the down low.
Um, could you give this to her? And look at that wrist.
Succulent.
Go ahead.
Have a taste! No? Um, I'll see that she gets it.
Nice to meet you.
- Josh - Hi! Uh, this is Liam McLean.
Connor and Brynn's father.
Hello.
Uh, Liam thought that maybe you could help him.
Before he was murdered, my son wrote out 2 cheques in your name for the sum of $1,700.
And I was thinking maybe you could tell me something about that.
- Hey! - Um Are you sure you don't want me to stay? It can be spooky around here.
Oh, no.
It doesn't bother me.
Ok.
Well, you're hard as nails.
Ha ha! I like it.
Um, good night.
Oh, wait! Hey, hold up.
Um, my friends Nick and Zoe are coming over and, uh, they make me wanna blow my brains out.
Um They sound like lovely people.
Well, it's 'cause they're a couple.
And I'm not a couple.
And so I don't wanna 3rd-wheel it.
So Are you asking me to be the 4th wheel? Yes! Pretty much.
- Ok.
- Yeah? Really? - Yeah, of course.
- Cool.
Ok, so 8:00? Yeah, yeah.
Like, 8:00.
Oh, and, like, if we could just keep the talk of elderly private parts to a minimum.
Well, I make no promises.
All right, See you tonight.
- See ya! - Bye.
- Hello! - Good bye! Oh, ok, you have a skillet in your purse? Yeah, well, it's cute and portable and it's iron, so I'll be seeing you Wait a minute! I'm Max's mother! Just checking up on him.
I'm so sorry.
Hi.
Oh my God.
I'm Sally.
Why can you see me? I'm open.
I see.
And what do you think about my Max? I think we haven't known each other that long.
He enjoys you.
Max looks you up and down when you're not looking, like a leg of lamb.
That's nice.
I hope this works out better than his other failures.
His failures? Sally, go easy on my boy.
And try not to pay too much attention when he eats.
He's a cautious swallower.
What does that even mean? The money was for research.
I was studying our mutual condition.
Condition? What exactly were you trying to find out? How to control it.
Connor wanted to change more often, I wanted to change less.
Less? Yeah, like, not at all.
It didn't go anywhere.
And yet, it would appear you got what you wanted.
I can tell you're not like us.
It's no easy thing, caging your wolf full-time.
There's very few ways of accomplishing that.
And it sure as hell doesn't happen in a lab.
No.
I killed my maker.
He did it for me.
The guy was gonna kill me, so he stepped in.
I respect that.
You made Nora, and of course, we have to put our children ahead of all else, including those who made us.
Yeah.
Except that Nora's my girlfriend and not my child, but sure.
Well, thank you very much.
Good luck.
So he's taking me on a trip.
Oh wow! Unreal.
- We're doing 3 weeks in India - What! We'll start by chilling in a hut on the beach in Agonda.
Wow! Then we're heading inland.
I'm so jealous of you guys.
- Seriously, I want to stab you.
- Oh, yeah, me too.
Not like a homicidal jealousy but, you know, like, I've always wanted to go to India.
He's lucky if he gets off the couch.
You guys are gonna have the best time.
India? Really? With all the crime? The filth? Those people are born and raised in garbage.
- I'm Indian.
- Sorry.
Congratulations.
See, look, the swallowing.
He gets that from his father.
- Who wants more wine? - Yeah! - Me! - You? Good? Everyone? What are you doing here? I always go on Max's dates.
It's the first time anyone's been able to see me.
Are you all in some sort of cult? We are not in a cult! We are a group of people trying to have a nice, private evening.
- I can take a hint.
- Can you, though? There he is! The murderer! Hey, Nurse Aidan, what's up? I'm up at midnight to tell you to turn the TV off.
Your neighbours are complaining.
I'll turn it down in a sec.
- How about off? - Oh, come on, please! - The Fog is on in 5 minutes.
- The Fog? Oh, ok.
Wait a second, the 1979 or the 2005 version? - Turn it down.
- Yes! Thank you.
You all right? You look like doodoo.
- Yeah, I skipped dinner.
- You can have some of mine.
What is that, garlic bread? Yeah.
No thanks.
I I don't wanna go through my shift with bad breath.
All right.
Suit yourself.
Hey, do you want to stay with me for a bit? You can watch some of this if you want.
- It's a good movie.
Original.
- Uh Why are you kidding yourself like this? Unlike the remake which was terrible.
You know why you came here.
Check your pocket.
That sounds like a song by the Spice Girls Yeah, you put that there.
The hunger's taking control and the longer you wait, the more the hunger grows, the more likely you are to drain him.
I'd like to see that.
I would've felt more comfortable watching Precious on repeat with my parents.
But, if you start now, you can drain him just a little bit at a time.
So, what do you say? Pull up a chair.
No, man, I just got too much to do.
Come on! Do it! Including taking some blood from you! Are you serious? Dude, it's after midnight.
They want bacterial cultures.
Fine.
Don't make me miss this movie.
So his mom is always around? Yup.
That's what you get, working in a funeral home.
How about those new ghosts, right? Like freshmen at orientation, all wide-eyed and slack jawed.
Yeah.
I just disperse them.
Disperse them? After all you went through after you died, after what people did for you, including myself? I can't help these people.
You don't know that.
But I do.
Any time I've ever used any power, it's been a disaster.
People get hurt.
People end up in psych wards or shredded.
I can't keep devastating people.
Maybe dispersing them seems harsh, but they're better off without me.
It was really nice meeting you.
- Bye, you guys! - Konichiwa, bitches! - That means hello, but ok.
- Yes, it does! So, uh, do you still wanna blow your brains out? - No! - No? You saved me.
Thank you.
Oh Oh! Um Uh, good night! Um Yeah, ok.
Well, good night to you.
Yeah, good night! I can still smell him.
Rise and shine! Mmm, no.
I need more sleep.
Maybe you shouldn't stay up all night.
Let me have your arm.
Oh come on! What's up with all the double dipping? I just gave a sample last night for, um, bacterial cultures or something.
I don't have that down here.
How much blood do you people need? Come on, sweetie, let's go.
Hey You wanna play "Guess what's in this sandwich?" Are we playing? - Oh, we're playing.
- Yeah, ok! Ok Guess what's in this sandwich.
Peanut butter And bol and olive loaf! - Is that what it is? - You're good! I'm good at this game.
Where'd you find olive loaf? Oh, hey, your friend Kat dropped this off for you.
Wait! Kat was here? - Yup.
- Alone? Ok.
Um you're nervous about people coming over here alone to find a hungry vampire.
Actually, you don't seem to be that hungry anymore.
- I figured something out.
- You figured some what? - What'd you figure out? - It's Kenny.
- The bubble boy? - I'm desperate! He wasn't exposed to the virus and I don't wanna start drinking live again and so he's the only it's no different than taking from blood bags.
Yeah, except that this bag has a name and face.
No one in this room is clean.
This isn't the way that I wanted to do it but with the virus, this is the world I live in now.
And the longer I hold out, that's when you need to be worried about people like Kat.
Ok? I don't expect you to understand.
You're right.
I don't understand.
Wanna wanna play "Guess what's in this sandwich?" To me.
You know, the viewing room is, uh, is really a nice space, you know, when people aren't, well, you know, - Viewing a dead body in it? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Ok, um I've been thinking about something.
Is it about how I uh I didn't kiss you last night? Um, even though you wanted to? I was kicking myself the whole walk home.
I mean, you leaned in and everything.
I did.
Can we try this again? Just go out, just the two of us.
Yeah, I'd like that.
Max, I'm leaning in here.
I know.
What are you doing here? Pulling a double.
What.
No, no, no! Um No, I I want some natural sunlight for this.
What's with the camera? Uh, you know, just a new little toy.
I thought I'd document some more of my caged adventures.
- Say hello! - Hello! Um, could you actually go back over? The natural sunlight looked really good.
Perfect! What's wrong? You don't like sunlight? Not when I'm exhausted and it's directly in my face, not really.
Um, could you walk in front of the mirror? I wanna try to get a frame- within-a-frame sort of shot.
- How's this? - It's good.
- Subject has reflection.
- What's that? I like the reflection.
It's cool.
Ok, that's a wrap.
Ha ha! I'll catch you later, Kenny.
Well, you were right, the viewing room is a nice room.
It is a good room.
- We did it in the viewing room.
- Yeah! It's just, like, I mean this is, like, unprofessional.
I mean, this is supposed to be, like, a place of comfort.
It is a place of comfort.
I'm very comfortable.
My back feels, like, amazing.
People are gonna be in here, like, sobbing and they're gonna be looking at their dead loved one and I'm gonna be standing right next to them, ok, but I'm not gonna be thinking about them when I hand them tissues, you know? I'm gonna be thinking about the couch naked, naughty Sally.
When did I become Naughty Sally? I'm not gonna say anything smart, right now, ok, so I'm just gonna I'm gonna go back to work.
- Ok? - No Just I'm sorry.
Disgusting.
I knew you were selfish, the way you dealt with that old man.
But now I find out you're a slut too.
Just like all the other sluts he chased around.
Slow your roll, Linda.
I'm sorry you had to see that, but maybe if you didn't creep around like a weirdo You took his flower! His flower? I've spent my entire afterlife protecting that boy for just the right girl, and you waltz in here and throw it at him.
Excuse me? I did not throw it at him.
I'm warning you, Sally.
You stay away from Max.
You know what, Linda, maybe next time I see Max, I will throw it at him.
I'll sling it! I'll sling it at him! Some idiot keeps tearing down all the fliers.
It's probably Erin.
That's good.
It means she's still in town.
I need to have a word with you.
As I'm sure you know, a virus has been spreading rather rampantly among the vampires.
Yeah, we'd heard something about that.
Well, we've been hunting them down, attempting to fulfill the will of nature.
Finish them off.
It was all going along rather smoothly until last night we encountered a leech that was neither sick nor hungry.
In fact, he was incredibly strong.
I did still manage, however, to track him back to his house.
The one he shares with the two of you.
Aidan is a good man.
He's a vampire, and his unnatural strength, in combination with his predisposition for violence, makes him a threat to us all.
He needs to be stopped.
And since he may have spotted me last night, I need someone he doesn't expect.
Somebody close.
I can't do what you're asking.
I'm not asking you to do anything.
I'm asking you.
I see in you what I know I saw in my children, Nora.
You're connected.
You know.
This is our time.
You really don't know me that well.
Do you think for a minute that if the shoe were on the other foot, he'd hesitate? No! This is where I'm staying.
You can reach me here.
Let me know when it's done.
Either you two take care of him, or I'll have to take care of you.
Max I'm leaving.
Um, ok, well I'll I'll go out with you.
Good lord, you're dense.
Um I'm quitting.
Why? Is this about before? Ok, well, first, this is a funeral home.
I think I can do better than that.
Also, I wasn't expecting to be assaulted at work.
Ok, hold on.
Um, what we did I know it wasn't professional, but, like, I'm pretty sure that we assaulted each other, here.
I was curious and now that curiosity has been satisfied.
You missed a button.
Learn how to dress yourself.
What are we gonna do? What do you mean, "what are we gonna do?" Nothing to do! It's not like we're killing Aidan.
Right, Nora? You're not actually entertaining that notion, are you? No, God.
I can't even think right now.
Liam you don't understand.
You didn't turn with him.
He is a whole other level of terrifying.
- I know.
I know.
- I'm just I'm trying to think, ok? So let's just set our emotions aside for a second here.
Set our emotions aside? So, ok, great, so let's actually have a conversation about murdering my best friend.
Of course I don't wanna murder Aidan, ok? Well then what are you saying? He made himself clear.
If we do nothing, he'll kill us.
And he will.
I promise you that.
Killing Aidan won't stop Liam from sniffing around us.
No, I know that.
But it's not like Aidan is so innocent.
He killed Connor right in front of us in cold blood.
Have you ever stopped to wonder how many people he's killed? It could be in the thousands.
- That doesn't make this ok! - No, I know that, Josh! Nothing makes this ok! We can't have this conversation right now.
- We have to do something.
- I know we have to.
But we're not gonna do this.
Unreal! Good morning! What are you doing here? You don't have to get up.
You're not going to work today or ever again.
What are you talking about? You quit your job.
No, I didn't.
You might not remember.
Sally, I warned you.
- You going to see Max? - Bet your ass! And you're gonna tell him what? That his mother was inside you after he was? That won't sound great.
Not that he wants to hear anything from you right now.
You were really harsh to him.
Um there we go.
All right.
I think we're good! Hey, um Check this out! Do you like it? My grandma gave it to me.
Some monk supposedly spent years carving it.
Nice.
Looks like that monk really carved the crap out of it.
I'm gonna take this to the lab.
Right.
Bottoms up! Are you ok? Ok, I, um I have to ask you a question.
It's gonna sound crazy, but you have to answer honestly, ok? Ok.
I'm intrigued.
Let's have it.
Are you a are you a vampire? Um No What what are you are you serious? I thought that we were gonna have some sort of talk about the birds and the bees.
Well, that was a close one.
What are you doing? Uh, you are on horror-movie detention, my friend.
I want nothing but rom-come on that TV from now on.
Next time you can accuse me of being Meg Ryan.
No, no, you can't do that.
I'm not a child.
Really? 'Cause you just acted like one.
- Vampires? - Oh - Really? Can you believe she possessed me? You do see the karmic justice in this though.
Yes, I do, thank you.
I'm newly disgusted with myself, okK? But I'm not the only victim here.
What about Max? How can he ever lead a normal life with her hanging around? The man dresses up dead people like dolls for a living.
- Define normal.
- I need to stop her.
But I just can't get close to her without being possessed.
It's cute.
Very nice.
It's a soul lock, designed by the hill people of Thailand.
It binds the soul to the body and protects it from ghosts.
Are you serious? I never kid about spirits or jewellery.
Where did you find this? A souvenir shop in the Bangkok airport.
Turns out the damn thing works.
Now go forth! Deliver the smackdown.
Is it done? I'm not killing Aidan.
Neither is Nora.
Well, that's a problem.
You have family, a pack to protect.
I get that.
When I was first turned, I didn't have a wolf there to help me.
There was only Aidan.
He protected me from the vampires.
And now it's my turn to help him.
And do you really think that gun can stop me from killing you? No.
No, I just wanted to buy enough time to tell you to keep Nora out of this.
Aidan's my friend, my family.
Just like she is.
Leave them alone.
And I've warned Aidan.
He's not a man I would underestimate.
You should go.
What does that mean? Go.
Now.
Here you go! Hey, um You know, I don't I don't meet people.
I don't make many friends.
The ones I do make, they hang out with me for a while before getting bored and then going off to have a life.
I get bored too.
But I don't have that as an option, so I guess I just tried to make a little drama where I could.
It's ok.
Everybody daydreams.
No, I accused you of being a vampire.
Oh, I know.
And I'm gonna forget about that, and so should you.
What if I'm going crazy? You're not.
You wanna know how I know? Please.
Because I don't watch TV with crazy people.
They talk too much.
Hello? Linda? Did you leave something behind? I just have one last mess to clean up.
Oh, you're cute, I'll give you that.
Here, let me help you find the exit.
Soul lock, bitch! Score one for the hill people of Thailand.
- What are you doing? - What does it look like, Linda? I'm gonna exorcise you.
God our father, cleanse this place of the dark remnant that dwells within and fill it with light and love.
You can't do this! You have no right! Be gone, spirit.
Leave this world for those who still live in it.
I love him.
You can't know! Nobody can love your son.
You won't let them! I just want Max to be happy.
But he's not.
He's lonely.
You can't want that for him, I know you can't.
So he just let you go? He was still on edge, I was holding a gun.
It's not like we hugged it out or anything.
I never should've let you handle this.
You didn't let me handle anything.
I know I'm not special anymore, like everyone else in this house, but I still have to protect the people that I love.
I have something for you.
- Oh my God! - Erin! Do you have something you'd like to say? I'm sorry I took off like that.
Thank you so much.
She was in a squat with some unsavoury types.
They're not unsavoury.
They tried to steal my car.
She's all yours.
You're just in time.
We're about to eat.
Liam, would you like to join us? I have things to do, but thank you.
That was stupid, coming at me with a gun like that.
I didn't know what else to do.
It was also very brave.
You have a full family now.
I suggest you take better care of them than I did of mine.
- Hey - Hey Thanks for meeting me.
Well, what do you want to talk about? I thought your curiosity was satisfied.
Um, I just wanted to apologize.
That wasn't me yesterday.
Well, which one were you? The sweet, beautiful girl from the grieving room, or the one that walked out on me? I don't even know what happened.
I freaked out.
I'm so sorry.
It's been a really long time since I've had a connection like this.
It's been even longer for me.
Like, forever longer.
You you really hurt me.
Do you think there's any chance we could just start over? On one condition.
No more sex in the funeral home.
I make no promises.
Hey! Oh, hey! What are you up to? Oh, I'm sorry, I was talking to Kenny and I must've dozed off.
I've been covering shifts.
You know what I'm talking about.
The blood you're taking from this kid.
I wasn't taking those were for tests.
Tests? I checked.
None have been scheduled.
There's gotta be some sort of mistake.
You know what? I'm filing a report.
Tonight.
You can explain it to administration.
Hold on! You don't know anything about any blood.
Everything is fine.
Get your hands off me! Looks like the cats are out of the bag!