Boardwalk Empire s03e05 Episode Script
You'd Be Surprised
What the fuck are you stopping for? - I'm hurting you.
- You're not hurting me.
But you told me to hurt you.
Then fucking hurt me! You okay? Mr.
Rosetti? Gyp? Wet towel.
I headed up there as fast as I could.
I tried to stop them, they wouldn't listen.
'Cause Mickey 'Cause they were under orders to get you what you paid for.
- And yet you escaped.
- We lost 11 men.
Was I supposed to get myself killed, too? Rosetti controls the roads in and out of Tabor Heights, taken up residence in the town, commandeered the sheriff's department.
He burned the sheriff.
There are other routes.
Don't you think I've considered that? How about your million dollar fucking highway? Must you swear every time you speak? When did you become a Quaker? Firstly, it's no longer my highway, and it costs considerably more than a million dollars.
Secondly, it's two years away from being finished.
Thirdly, the other routes are not viable.
What does that mean? To truck the quantities you're talking about Sorry, I interrupted.
Go on.
Well, between the mud and the ice and the law, it's more than we can manage.
That's correct.
Thanks for your input.
Let's discuss our options.
Our options? To solve this problem.
How long have you known Mr.
Rosetti? A year or so.
I don't know.
You were the one who introduced me.
He kicks up to Joe Masseria.
With whom I have a very delicate truce.
- Over what? - That's not your concern.
But what might solve a problem for you creates a bigger one for me.
And what would you do about a mad dog? Before anything else, I'd find out who its master was.
Rosetti doesn't respect any rules, Arnold.
That makes him bad for business, yours and mine.
I'd like to talk to Mr.
Thompson in private, please.
Bad for business? - Isn't it? - What would you know about it? Conducting yours like some drunken shopkeeper.
All right, Arnold.
You're allowed to blow off steam.
It's not all right.
Do you think I entered into this arrangement because I value your companionship? You are a convenience of geography and supply.
You promised a quantity and a price.
You have failed to deliver.
And now, owing to your inability to manage your own affairs in New Jersey, a state I have little interest in or affection for, you expect me to start a war in New York where things actually matter? I expect you to understand that Gyp Rosetti is trouble for everyone.
I lost an entire convoy.
Because of your own cavalierness.
Because you run off to Manhattan at a moment's notice to rut with some showgirl.
- You'd be wise to leave Miss Kent out of this.
- Why? You can't.
Do you even begin to understand how weak that makes you look? That's a big noise from a man who's dead below the waist.
- I practice discretion.
- You practice bullshit.
Who the fuck are you, Arnold? Aside from a little weasel with a good poker face? - Charlie.
- A.
R.
Let's move on to other business.
Is there anything I need to know? What time is Billie's rehearsal? Take me to the house.
Say, Georgie, boss wants to see you.
Did you perch a bucket of water above his doorjamb? Suspicious son of a gun, ain't ya? What does he want to see me about? Sounds like the Feds finally caught up with you.
I got a call from the Bureau of Internal Revenue.
Mmm.
Where did you work before this? I thought I told you.
I owned a wheat farm.
And where was this wheat farm exactly? Minnesota.
East of Ortonville.
Now how hard was that? Sir? Your goshdang tax form, it was incomplete.
I don't have time for this nonsense, George.
Your return is your own responsibility.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Of course it is.
Oh, George.
A fellow left this for you.
Says he met you in a speak.
Not thinking of turning us in, are you? Don't stand on my account, Leander.
It hurts too much to sit.
What's wrong? Encroaching decrepitude.
I thought you Yankees were supposed to be stoic.
Do you know what consoles me? I can't imagine.
That this entire world will be overrun by corruption, ignorance, and perfidy, but I won't be forced to witness it.
That does sound comforting.
But perhaps we can talk about me now.
I've got some marvelous ideas for the club that I'm eager to realize.
The traditional house of pleasure is hopelessly mired in an outdated, button-tufted $2,100 a month in.
$2,700 a month out.
I do wish you'd let me finish.
This is what you pay me to tell you.
Your costs exceed your revenue.
Every business takes time to find its footing.
And that cannot continue.
The roof lets in buckets.
That's 800.
There's a crack in the foundation.
That's 1,000.
The sewer pipes collapsed.
I haven't had the stomach to get an estimate on that yet.
I need your help to arrange a loan to make it through to summer.
- It always picks up then.
- Don't you have a partner? Mr.
Luciano and I differ on how the club should be run.
Then you have to resolve that.
This place, Leander, it's meant to be a dream.
Every man who walks inside is young and handsome.
Every girl is innocent, trusting, and devoted.
The light is flattering, the air is perfumed, and nothing ever changes.
Who doesn't need to believe that? Just for a little while? We've been through this, Gillian.
- There's the house for collateral.
- You don't own the house.
- My son does.
- Tommy is not your son.
And in any case, he doesn't own it either.
- It's in James' name.
- That's who I'm talking about.
Well, then, before anything else, the process of having him declared dead - I really don't see the point.
- If you refuse to acknowledge He's prone to long disappearances.
He's always been an adventurous boy.
Gillian! Until James is declared dead, you have no ownership.
You have no title.
You have no credit.
And you're wasting an old man's time.
- What do you think? - Better.
But, "Do you wish for greater knowledge?" Well, don't you? It sounds vaguely mystical.
I can hardly write, "Come discuss your vagina.
" Couldn't you put a picture on it somewhere? Kittens, maybe.
Hello, again.
Ladies.
- Philip didn't let you in? - Mr.
Thompson used his key.
Would you excuse me? Well, Mr.
Sleater, do you wish for greater knowledge? - You can take your hat off.
- I'm not staying.
Actually, I have business out of town for a few days.
You needn't have come to tell me that.
Just wanted to make sure everything's all right.
- What's going on? - Nothing.
Then what is it you're making sure about? That my family is safe.
Can't I do that? Are there to be bodyguards again? Don't give me that look, please.
What look? The one that says you know what I'm thinking.
The state of my soul.
What I had for breakfast.
I'm fairly certain what you had for breakfast.
The rest I wouldn't dare speculate about.
Will you answer my question? It's just a precaution.
There's no cause for concern.
And it makes me feel better.
Where are the children? Out with Lillian.
Is that dangerous? No.
I just thought I'd Anyway, I bought them each a copy so there's no fighting.
What was that about? He worries sometimes.
He couldn't figure it out either.
What? The committee calls Treasury Secretary Mr.
Andrew W.
Mellon.
I am ready.
Thank you for taking the time to come here today, Secretary Mellon.
I assume there is something you wanted to ask me.
Indeed there is.
Could you speak to the committee concerning your views on the state of Prohibition at this time? My views on that subject are well known.
Nonetheless, could you summarize, Mr.
Secretary? Setting aside my own personal view as to the questionable wisdom of pandering to the demands of a minority, I believe I have been quite clear that the cost of effectively policing this act would be somewhere in the amount of 28 millions of dollars per annum.
Approximately five times what Congress has seen fit to authorize.
Would you not consider that, sir, throwing good money after bad? That is a question that would have been better asked before the amendment was voted on in 1919.
May I remind my fellow senators that the focus of these hearings is not enforcement, but prosecution? In that case, you are speaking to the wrong man.
Oh, we fully intend to call Attorney General Daugherty before this committee.
But what we're seeking today is a sense of to what degree the efforts by your bureau may or may not be undermined by the Department of Justice.
You have been presented with tables laying out the number of arrests versus the number of convictions? I, um Yes, we have it right here.
Then you are free to draw your own conclusions.
I don't see what all this pussyfooting is for.
Mr.
Mellon, are we talking about gross incompetence inside the Justice Department or widespread corruption? It is my experience that human nature leaves ample room for both.
Excuse me.
I believe your left shoelace is in a state of dishabille.
Now Mellon is in there talking to them.
I ascertained that already, Harvey.
But what is he talking about? Your boss' dirty hands.
- Hold it! - Can we stop? - Iron out the steps there, Vern.
- Yup.
By the piano, please.
Move by the piano.
It is not you.
It is not you.
- Gonna go from right before the dip.
- Okay.
You're leaning in here.
Going primp out, into the dip, stay over the left leg.
Look at me, darling.
Much better that way.
Here, let's go into the next section.
Please pay attention.
Left foot coming down the hill.
It goes five, six, seven.
Round two, and Pardon me.
But would you mind waking me up if something happens? Isn't it supposed to be a comedy? Well, I thought I'd put something in.
What are you going to tell Shubert? That I've seen worse.
Although that usually involves a funeral.
- What about Billie? - It's not her fault.
She puts it over in spades.
But when they decided to call it The Naughty Virgin, I don't think they had the male lead in mind.
What about the other one? Vern? I've worked with him.
Did he put his hands on your waist? I'll never tell.
Very nice.
Please stay by the piano.
Do you think there's something going on there? What do you mean? Look at her.
That's a frisky little pony.
But the other one, what do they call a horse when they cut off his kishkes? A gelding.
And there's nothing naughty about that.
Both are now napping.
When they're down for the night, you say sleeping, dear.
Napping means just a short while.
"I am sleeping.
They are napping.
" "How are you?" "I am hunky-dory.
" "I enjoyed a motion pic" Hey Ay-yi-yi-yi.
Is everything not hunky-dory? We need to talk.
I have not been completely honest about my past.
I know.
You can't know, dear.
Yeah, I can.
Your name is not your name because the bad persons, they've said words about you.
That you have stealed and that you have lied.
That you have done terrible things.
I know all this.
- I - You did not do them.
They blame you to hide themselves.
That is why we ran so far.
So the bad persons do not find us.
That is exactly what I was going to say.
And now we can follow the journey through the fallopian tubes as the fertilized egg moves down to the uterus where it implants, causing the woman to become With child.
Tomorrow evening, we'll discuss the signs of preg Being with child and the development of the baby in the womb.
And hopefully we'll put to rest some of our more cherished superstitions.
Thank you all for coming.
I wish someone had told me all this when I was 13.
I wouldn't have thought I was dying.
I'm glad you found the class helpful.
Not quite the turnout we'd hoped for.
I've had new flyers made.
I'll distribute them tomorrow.
I suppose I should have told you this earlier, but I misjudged you, Mrs.
Thompson.
I am sorry.
Thank you for that.
So, tomorrow evening? Tomorrow evening.
Well I'm sorry.
Class just finished.
- There will be another one - Helen, this is Mrs.
Thompson.
Mrs.
Thompson, this is Helen Russell, my fiancé.
- Oh.
- Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Lovely to meet you, too.
Good night, now.
You're nervous.
What makes you say that? You rub the top of your middle finger with the tip of your thumb.
I don't like that it's out of our hands.
If it goes the wrong way, then someone else is to blame.
As you wish.
That was me knocking.
Thank you for informing me.
Miss Kent.
I'm interrupting.
I'd say I am.
- Stay by your phone.
- Aye.
Miss Kent.
I look forward to seeing you on stage.
Don't get your hopes up.
I mean, thank you.
Rehearsal's done already? You could say that.
I could say a lot of things.
Shubert's closing us here.
End of the week.
Three more previews and back to our garrets.
It's not your fault.
Everyone keeps saying that.
It's making me worried.
That ox they cast you with.
He never hurt anyone.
Why doesn't Shubert find another actor? Who'd you have in mind? The choreographer.
He looks like he knows what he's doing.
Vern? He's nobody's idea of a star.
Let's face it, neither am I.
Why don't I talk to Lee? Don't.
New actor, new script, new songs.
It happens, doesn't it? - Gus.
- I'll call him right now.
I just wanted to complain.
That's all.
Well, let's go drop a boatload at dinner.
If it's all right with you, I'd rather just close my eyes.
Sure.
Know what I hate the most? I keep hearing my father's voice.
"Always on the move, but going nowhere fast.
" - Hey, let me have one of those.
- Yeah, sure.
I'd get lost in all these fields here.
It wasn't the money, believe me.
Though I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting.
It was his attitude mostly.
The arrogance.
Hubris, the Greeks call it.
Well, look what happened to them.
Conquered by Italians.
Just like Nucky.
At New Year's, Nucky's party, I said some things I shouldn't have.
I have thick skin, Mr.
Rosetti.
Quite pale, as you can see, but very thick.
- Sticks and stones, huh? - I'm glad you see it that way.
Couldn't do business otherwise.
Which brings us here tonight.
In light of recent developments, it appears I'm short a supplier.
Well, you are in luck.
Tabor Heights, or as I like to call it, my little slice of paradise, happens to be located on the same ocean that Nucky Thompson used to control.
Now I'll have the same boats, same booze.
Hell, I'll even give you the same price.
We're even 60 miles closer to New York.
I only want the genuine article.
I have no use for anything less.
- Is that today's? - Yeah, evening edition.
Give me one.
Thanks, mister.
Hey- I thought you said this was today's.
All this stuff happened yesterday.
Well, sure.
That's I had you there for a second.
From now on, room 207 at the Kinneret Lodge.
- Add me to your route.
- You betcha.
Tomorrow, just after midnight, Come around if you want, sample it for yourselves.
That's it, I surrender.
Keep feeding me like that, I'll lose my girlish figure.
Tapeworms, that's my secret.
For you.
Passover vodka? Very thoughtful, Nucky.
Think he'll mind if a Catholic takes a shot? L'chaim.
- What does that mean again? - To life.
In fact, I've got an uncle doing Whoo! That'd get you through You know what that show needs? Some dub prancing around like a schvartze? Oh, no, sir! Oh! It needs a star.
It needs you.
I don't disagree.
- Then you'll do it.
- Come again? You're going to star in The Naughty Virgin.
Congratulations.
Oh, I can't.
I have a commitment.
Kern's new show in New York.
I start rehearsals next week.
- Well, postpone it.
- Contracts are signed.
The theater's booked.
Besides, it's a great show.
I'll make it worth your while if that's your concern.
It's not about money.
I've given my word.
That's easy to straighten out.
Nuck, please.
I'd rather you didn't do that.
Well, you can't blame me for trying.
Heck, Billie's gonna come out fine.
You'll see.
I mean, it's not like she wrote it.
- Tough game, isn't it? - Show business? You know what they say, dying is easy.
Good luck with the new one.
I'll be fifth row center.
I knew you'd understand.
And thanks for lunch.
Eddie.
Forgot your vodka.
L'chaim.
They pray to that fat fuck? It's a symbol of enlightenment.
New shipment of heroin.
That ought to make Rothstein happy.
It's the other one I'm worried about.
What, Masseria? Fuck him.
Let me see.
Last two numbers are still visible.
My hand hurts.
Once they're filed off, lightly stipple the area with a punch.
Lightly.
You don't want to damage the frame.
A lot of fuss for nothing.
- You're an expert now? - I've done it plenty of times.
Well, then one more shouldn't be a problem.
Women's health clinic.
St.
Theresa's.
- Women's health clinic.
- It's the Dawson's Dancing Dolls.
Women's health clinic.
St.
Theresa's Hospital.
Free to all.
You've never seen anything like 'em, sir.
at The Funny Place.
How are you? Women's health clinic.
St.
Theresa's Hospital.
Free to all.
You've never seen anything like 'em.
Women's health clinic.
St.
Theresa's Hospital.
at The Funny Place.
Thank you, sir.
Bring some friends.
Dawson's Dancing Dolls.
They're dimpled, they're darling.
Oh, they are delightful.
Excuse me.
Marguerite.
An unexpected pleasure.
How are you, Madame Jeunet? I am well.
Very well, yes.
But we are closed.
- Alas.
- I'm sorry? The spring dresses are arriving.
Beautiful they will be, comme dans un rêve.
You must see them, but tomorrow.
I've no doubt they're lovely.
But actually, I'm here to ask a favor.
It is granted, whatever it is.
But when you come back, yes? If I could just leave some of these here for any customer that might be interested.
C'est primordial.
I take them.
Come back when all is ready.
I think she'd prefer something Good afternoon.
Yes.
I Your plans have changed, clearly.
- That is what happened.
- He expected to be out of town.
But he was able to stay at home after all.
Look, Margaret, I Well? I'm looking.
Gus, it's all too fancy for me.
Why don't we just Gosh.
- This is - Miss Kent.
Your friends call you Billie.
Guess that won't be happening here.
Why don't we discuss this later? There's no need.
I doubt that you're free in the evenings, but Well, that's service.
I haven't even called for a cab yet.
- How's that? - I travel light.
Never know when you'll have to leave town in a hurry.
- Just give me 10 minutes.
- Ain't a cabbie.
- Oh, you ain't, ain't you? - No, sir.
Listen, fellas, I Are you sure you've got the right room? You Eddie Cantor, ain't you? Depends how big the bill is.
We're affiliated with Mr.
Thompson.
You're Milky, isn't it? Chalky.
See, when you come to town, we never do get a chance to see you strut.
On account of the rules of the venue.
Oh, boys, let me tell you, that's an outrage.
You come to New York, I personally guarantee you the best box.
Ain't gonna be able to do that.
But Mr.
Thompson, he say come by.
Maybe you do a little show for us.
Well, I wish I had the time.
Said you had 10 minutes.
Look, um Mr.
White.
And Mr.
Purnsley.
I explained to Nucky.
He means the world to me.
I just can't walk away from a contract.
He, of all people, understands Any particular place you like us to sit? Right there is good.
Usually work a bigger room.
We simple folk.
Make it something funny.
A boy and girl were walking A-walking, yes, walking And as he stood there, talking He stole a little kiss The girlie starting giggling Oh, giggling, yes, giggling And as he stood there wiggling He shyly told her this Oh, gee, oh, gosh Oh, golly, I'm in love Oh, gee, oh, gosh It's you I'm thinking of I love to hold your teeny weeny hand in mine I get a piggly wiggly feeling down my spine Oh, me, oh, my Oh, how I love Tell the son of a bitch I'll do it.
You said 5:30.
I took the roundabout way to elude the baying hounds.
What hounds? Were you followed? A verbal flourish, Mr.
Smith.
What happened over there? There's nothing in the paper.
Well, it was a closed hearing, but not without its points of interest.
There was an admiral of the Coast Guard.
Rather dashing in his dress whites.
A district supervisor from the Bureau of Prohibition with a stain of some nature on his pants cuff.
And the Secretary of the Treasury soberly attired in dark wool.
I don't care what they were wearing.
What did Mellon say? I would not call him a staunch ally of the Justice Department.
Harry can't stand him.
No doubt the feeling is reciprocated.
What can he do to us? Well, a man with $200 million to his name can do whatever he chooses.
Oh, you're looking a tad peaked.
Is this all a joke to you, Means? No, but I find pleasure where I can.
Why am I doing this? Why did I leave Ohio? For the profit, Jess.
For the profit.
I can't keep track of the money.
I don't remember who I lied to or what lies I told them.
And now with this damn senator rooting around, what if he finds someone honest? Attorneys general do not go to prison.
I'm not the Attorney General.
Harry Daugherty is.
It's all quite elementary.
Your adversaries claim you're not putting bootleggers in jail.
Tell Mr.
Daugherty to put one in jail.
Bootleggers are the men we're in business with.
If they go to jail What I've learned, the truth is surprisingly easy to obfuscate.
What the heck is going on in here? Oh, thank the Lord you manifested.
I was afraid we'd be imprisoned until the cockerel crowed.
It's all right, Prudence.
You needn't bother yourself.
It's me.
May I sit? It's your house.
Would you mind? Do you imagine this being a lengthy conversation? I don't think either of us is terribly interested in that.
- This afternoon - Please, don't.
Just let me Whatever fiction you prefer is perfectly fine with me.
I'm sorry.
I am sorry.
For demonstrating bad form.
Bad form? Yes.
That would distress you, wouldn't it? - I'm being honest.
- I know.
That's what's making it all just slightly humiliating.
Is she in need of rescuing, too? She seems pretty capable of looking after herself.
I think that might prove difficult for you.
How's that? It's not a role you're comfortable in.
Maybe I've changed.
Perhaps you're not the only one.
I'll look in on the kids, then I'll leave.
- No.
- I'm sorry? I'd rather you didn't look in.
I'm still their stepfather.
That's one of the things you are.
Fair enough.
But you might want to ask yourself some practical questions.
When do you expect him? I'm sure he will be home.
What time does he usually get home? It is this time.
It is time now.
Is he always this late? You're a hard man to track down.
Agent Coughlin.
What do you want? I check on the dinner.
Do you intend to extort money from me? I'd say it was the other way around.
- Wouldn't you? - What? I saw you that night at the speak.
I kept thinking, "How do I know this fella?" I mean, that's a face you can't forget.
Then it hit me.
You came to my house before Christmas.
Over on 27th.
Gave me the big sales pitch.
How I could save money if I pressed my shirts myself.
Well, that iron you sold me is a piece of junk.
Used it two or three times.
Then it totally fell apart.
No! He wasn't here to arrest me.
I sold him an iron.
I hold his legs.
Husband! Please avert your eyes.
The bad person.
It's quiet this evening.
So I see.
Get out on the porch and attract some customers.
I thought you didn't want us doing that.
Then why the goddamn hell would I say it? My dearest James.
I am compelled to write to you due to my constant concern over expenses which are more than I can bear alone.
I miss you terribly every day.
Life is nothing without you and there is no one who understands me.
Please, please, please come home.
Your eternally devoted mother.
You've lost one, Mrs.
Thompson.
Excuse me? There were five last night.
We'll wait a few more minutes.
That seems rather ad hoc.
Not everyone has your rigor, Sister.
One tends to be prompt for the things one considers important.
Begging your pardon, ma'am.
But it is hard to get away in the evening.
What would you find more convenient? For me, the morning after I've cleared away breakfast.
And before the children are home from school.
Perhaps we can better accommodate them.
Sadly, those hours would not suit my schedule.
Mrs.
Thompson? Dr.
Mason has an emergency on the ward.
When will he be free? There's no saying right now.
He's very sorry.
Tell him not to concern himself and we'll speak when he's free.
Ladies, let's begin.
Isn't the doctor coming? He's called away, unfortunately.
But we can still have a class.
What would be the point of that? We have our book.
We have our chart.
We have ourselves.
What else is needed? This is not what we've agreed to, Mrs.
Thompson.
Yes, the whole day's been rather like that.
Last time we talked about conception, how life begins.
This evening we're going to discuss development.
How a human being grows.
Well, well, it's the iron man.
Hey, this must be a pressing issue.
May I come in? I need your help.
Flowers? I must dispose of a body.
Oh.
Must you, now? Where's the other kid? Caught a fever.
- For Mr.
Rosetti.
- I'll take it.
Suit yourself.
Untie me.
- Untie me! - I'm trying.
What's happening? What's going on? Mr.
Rosetti! Don't shoot! Go, go, go, go! Aw, fuck.
Oh, I think you're brilliant.
You are absolutely brilliant! Let's go, Vern.
We'll keep it the same for now.
He'll have his own ideas, but we'll deal with that as we stumble through, okay? - Vern.
- Don't say it.
But this is crazy, isn't it? Kid, the whole business is crazy.
I'll see you up there.
He's got a very cute boyfriend.
He doesn't come off that way.
Want to tell me what happened? You don't have to worry about it.
I had a discussion with her, we reached an understanding, and it won't happen again.
That's not what I meant.
Then I guess you'd better clue me in.
Yesterday we were closing.
Today they're rewriting the show.
Sounds like Shubert's protecting his investment.
What did you do, Gus? I didn't do anything.
You told me not to.
Besides, what does it matter as long as you get what you want? Your father doesn't know what he's talking about.
Billie.
We're gonna run through it.
What did I say? What did I do? What did I do? I like her.
Eddie, you're a lifesaver.
Whatever you're doing here, I promise I won't let you down.
Lucy Danziger.
Ever heard of her? The next one won't know a goddamn thing about you either.
All right, kids, just muddle through and make it work.
Izzy, naughty virgin, you're on.
He's not so good in a crowd But when you get him alone You'd be surprised He isn't much at a dance But when he's taking you home You'd be surprised He doesn't look like much of a lover But you can't judge a book by its cover He's got the face of an angel But there's a devil in his eye There's news from Mr.
Rothstein.
Four fatalities.
None of them Gyp Rosetti.
You'd be surprised At a party or at a ball I've got to admit that he's nothing at all But in a Morris chair You'd be surprised
- You're not hurting me.
But you told me to hurt you.
Then fucking hurt me! You okay? Mr.
Rosetti? Gyp? Wet towel.
I headed up there as fast as I could.
I tried to stop them, they wouldn't listen.
'Cause Mickey 'Cause they were under orders to get you what you paid for.
- And yet you escaped.
- We lost 11 men.
Was I supposed to get myself killed, too? Rosetti controls the roads in and out of Tabor Heights, taken up residence in the town, commandeered the sheriff's department.
He burned the sheriff.
There are other routes.
Don't you think I've considered that? How about your million dollar fucking highway? Must you swear every time you speak? When did you become a Quaker? Firstly, it's no longer my highway, and it costs considerably more than a million dollars.
Secondly, it's two years away from being finished.
Thirdly, the other routes are not viable.
What does that mean? To truck the quantities you're talking about Sorry, I interrupted.
Go on.
Well, between the mud and the ice and the law, it's more than we can manage.
That's correct.
Thanks for your input.
Let's discuss our options.
Our options? To solve this problem.
How long have you known Mr.
Rosetti? A year or so.
I don't know.
You were the one who introduced me.
He kicks up to Joe Masseria.
With whom I have a very delicate truce.
- Over what? - That's not your concern.
But what might solve a problem for you creates a bigger one for me.
And what would you do about a mad dog? Before anything else, I'd find out who its master was.
Rosetti doesn't respect any rules, Arnold.
That makes him bad for business, yours and mine.
I'd like to talk to Mr.
Thompson in private, please.
Bad for business? - Isn't it? - What would you know about it? Conducting yours like some drunken shopkeeper.
All right, Arnold.
You're allowed to blow off steam.
It's not all right.
Do you think I entered into this arrangement because I value your companionship? You are a convenience of geography and supply.
You promised a quantity and a price.
You have failed to deliver.
And now, owing to your inability to manage your own affairs in New Jersey, a state I have little interest in or affection for, you expect me to start a war in New York where things actually matter? I expect you to understand that Gyp Rosetti is trouble for everyone.
I lost an entire convoy.
Because of your own cavalierness.
Because you run off to Manhattan at a moment's notice to rut with some showgirl.
- You'd be wise to leave Miss Kent out of this.
- Why? You can't.
Do you even begin to understand how weak that makes you look? That's a big noise from a man who's dead below the waist.
- I practice discretion.
- You practice bullshit.
Who the fuck are you, Arnold? Aside from a little weasel with a good poker face? - Charlie.
- A.
R.
Let's move on to other business.
Is there anything I need to know? What time is Billie's rehearsal? Take me to the house.
Say, Georgie, boss wants to see you.
Did you perch a bucket of water above his doorjamb? Suspicious son of a gun, ain't ya? What does he want to see me about? Sounds like the Feds finally caught up with you.
I got a call from the Bureau of Internal Revenue.
Mmm.
Where did you work before this? I thought I told you.
I owned a wheat farm.
And where was this wheat farm exactly? Minnesota.
East of Ortonville.
Now how hard was that? Sir? Your goshdang tax form, it was incomplete.
I don't have time for this nonsense, George.
Your return is your own responsibility.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Of course it is.
Oh, George.
A fellow left this for you.
Says he met you in a speak.
Not thinking of turning us in, are you? Don't stand on my account, Leander.
It hurts too much to sit.
What's wrong? Encroaching decrepitude.
I thought you Yankees were supposed to be stoic.
Do you know what consoles me? I can't imagine.
That this entire world will be overrun by corruption, ignorance, and perfidy, but I won't be forced to witness it.
That does sound comforting.
But perhaps we can talk about me now.
I've got some marvelous ideas for the club that I'm eager to realize.
The traditional house of pleasure is hopelessly mired in an outdated, button-tufted $2,100 a month in.
$2,700 a month out.
I do wish you'd let me finish.
This is what you pay me to tell you.
Your costs exceed your revenue.
Every business takes time to find its footing.
And that cannot continue.
The roof lets in buckets.
That's 800.
There's a crack in the foundation.
That's 1,000.
The sewer pipes collapsed.
I haven't had the stomach to get an estimate on that yet.
I need your help to arrange a loan to make it through to summer.
- It always picks up then.
- Don't you have a partner? Mr.
Luciano and I differ on how the club should be run.
Then you have to resolve that.
This place, Leander, it's meant to be a dream.
Every man who walks inside is young and handsome.
Every girl is innocent, trusting, and devoted.
The light is flattering, the air is perfumed, and nothing ever changes.
Who doesn't need to believe that? Just for a little while? We've been through this, Gillian.
- There's the house for collateral.
- You don't own the house.
- My son does.
- Tommy is not your son.
And in any case, he doesn't own it either.
- It's in James' name.
- That's who I'm talking about.
Well, then, before anything else, the process of having him declared dead - I really don't see the point.
- If you refuse to acknowledge He's prone to long disappearances.
He's always been an adventurous boy.
Gillian! Until James is declared dead, you have no ownership.
You have no title.
You have no credit.
And you're wasting an old man's time.
- What do you think? - Better.
But, "Do you wish for greater knowledge?" Well, don't you? It sounds vaguely mystical.
I can hardly write, "Come discuss your vagina.
" Couldn't you put a picture on it somewhere? Kittens, maybe.
Hello, again.
Ladies.
- Philip didn't let you in? - Mr.
Thompson used his key.
Would you excuse me? Well, Mr.
Sleater, do you wish for greater knowledge? - You can take your hat off.
- I'm not staying.
Actually, I have business out of town for a few days.
You needn't have come to tell me that.
Just wanted to make sure everything's all right.
- What's going on? - Nothing.
Then what is it you're making sure about? That my family is safe.
Can't I do that? Are there to be bodyguards again? Don't give me that look, please.
What look? The one that says you know what I'm thinking.
The state of my soul.
What I had for breakfast.
I'm fairly certain what you had for breakfast.
The rest I wouldn't dare speculate about.
Will you answer my question? It's just a precaution.
There's no cause for concern.
And it makes me feel better.
Where are the children? Out with Lillian.
Is that dangerous? No.
I just thought I'd Anyway, I bought them each a copy so there's no fighting.
What was that about? He worries sometimes.
He couldn't figure it out either.
What? The committee calls Treasury Secretary Mr.
Andrew W.
Mellon.
I am ready.
Thank you for taking the time to come here today, Secretary Mellon.
I assume there is something you wanted to ask me.
Indeed there is.
Could you speak to the committee concerning your views on the state of Prohibition at this time? My views on that subject are well known.
Nonetheless, could you summarize, Mr.
Secretary? Setting aside my own personal view as to the questionable wisdom of pandering to the demands of a minority, I believe I have been quite clear that the cost of effectively policing this act would be somewhere in the amount of 28 millions of dollars per annum.
Approximately five times what Congress has seen fit to authorize.
Would you not consider that, sir, throwing good money after bad? That is a question that would have been better asked before the amendment was voted on in 1919.
May I remind my fellow senators that the focus of these hearings is not enforcement, but prosecution? In that case, you are speaking to the wrong man.
Oh, we fully intend to call Attorney General Daugherty before this committee.
But what we're seeking today is a sense of to what degree the efforts by your bureau may or may not be undermined by the Department of Justice.
You have been presented with tables laying out the number of arrests versus the number of convictions? I, um Yes, we have it right here.
Then you are free to draw your own conclusions.
I don't see what all this pussyfooting is for.
Mr.
Mellon, are we talking about gross incompetence inside the Justice Department or widespread corruption? It is my experience that human nature leaves ample room for both.
Excuse me.
I believe your left shoelace is in a state of dishabille.
Now Mellon is in there talking to them.
I ascertained that already, Harvey.
But what is he talking about? Your boss' dirty hands.
- Hold it! - Can we stop? - Iron out the steps there, Vern.
- Yup.
By the piano, please.
Move by the piano.
It is not you.
It is not you.
- Gonna go from right before the dip.
- Okay.
You're leaning in here.
Going primp out, into the dip, stay over the left leg.
Look at me, darling.
Much better that way.
Here, let's go into the next section.
Please pay attention.
Left foot coming down the hill.
It goes five, six, seven.
Round two, and Pardon me.
But would you mind waking me up if something happens? Isn't it supposed to be a comedy? Well, I thought I'd put something in.
What are you going to tell Shubert? That I've seen worse.
Although that usually involves a funeral.
- What about Billie? - It's not her fault.
She puts it over in spades.
But when they decided to call it The Naughty Virgin, I don't think they had the male lead in mind.
What about the other one? Vern? I've worked with him.
Did he put his hands on your waist? I'll never tell.
Very nice.
Please stay by the piano.
Do you think there's something going on there? What do you mean? Look at her.
That's a frisky little pony.
But the other one, what do they call a horse when they cut off his kishkes? A gelding.
And there's nothing naughty about that.
Both are now napping.
When they're down for the night, you say sleeping, dear.
Napping means just a short while.
"I am sleeping.
They are napping.
" "How are you?" "I am hunky-dory.
" "I enjoyed a motion pic" Hey Ay-yi-yi-yi.
Is everything not hunky-dory? We need to talk.
I have not been completely honest about my past.
I know.
You can't know, dear.
Yeah, I can.
Your name is not your name because the bad persons, they've said words about you.
That you have stealed and that you have lied.
That you have done terrible things.
I know all this.
- I - You did not do them.
They blame you to hide themselves.
That is why we ran so far.
So the bad persons do not find us.
That is exactly what I was going to say.
And now we can follow the journey through the fallopian tubes as the fertilized egg moves down to the uterus where it implants, causing the woman to become With child.
Tomorrow evening, we'll discuss the signs of preg Being with child and the development of the baby in the womb.
And hopefully we'll put to rest some of our more cherished superstitions.
Thank you all for coming.
I wish someone had told me all this when I was 13.
I wouldn't have thought I was dying.
I'm glad you found the class helpful.
Not quite the turnout we'd hoped for.
I've had new flyers made.
I'll distribute them tomorrow.
I suppose I should have told you this earlier, but I misjudged you, Mrs.
Thompson.
I am sorry.
Thank you for that.
So, tomorrow evening? Tomorrow evening.
Well I'm sorry.
Class just finished.
- There will be another one - Helen, this is Mrs.
Thompson.
Mrs.
Thompson, this is Helen Russell, my fiancé.
- Oh.
- Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Lovely to meet you, too.
Good night, now.
You're nervous.
What makes you say that? You rub the top of your middle finger with the tip of your thumb.
I don't like that it's out of our hands.
If it goes the wrong way, then someone else is to blame.
As you wish.
That was me knocking.
Thank you for informing me.
Miss Kent.
I'm interrupting.
I'd say I am.
- Stay by your phone.
- Aye.
Miss Kent.
I look forward to seeing you on stage.
Don't get your hopes up.
I mean, thank you.
Rehearsal's done already? You could say that.
I could say a lot of things.
Shubert's closing us here.
End of the week.
Three more previews and back to our garrets.
It's not your fault.
Everyone keeps saying that.
It's making me worried.
That ox they cast you with.
He never hurt anyone.
Why doesn't Shubert find another actor? Who'd you have in mind? The choreographer.
He looks like he knows what he's doing.
Vern? He's nobody's idea of a star.
Let's face it, neither am I.
Why don't I talk to Lee? Don't.
New actor, new script, new songs.
It happens, doesn't it? - Gus.
- I'll call him right now.
I just wanted to complain.
That's all.
Well, let's go drop a boatload at dinner.
If it's all right with you, I'd rather just close my eyes.
Sure.
Know what I hate the most? I keep hearing my father's voice.
"Always on the move, but going nowhere fast.
" - Hey, let me have one of those.
- Yeah, sure.
I'd get lost in all these fields here.
It wasn't the money, believe me.
Though I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting.
It was his attitude mostly.
The arrogance.
Hubris, the Greeks call it.
Well, look what happened to them.
Conquered by Italians.
Just like Nucky.
At New Year's, Nucky's party, I said some things I shouldn't have.
I have thick skin, Mr.
Rosetti.
Quite pale, as you can see, but very thick.
- Sticks and stones, huh? - I'm glad you see it that way.
Couldn't do business otherwise.
Which brings us here tonight.
In light of recent developments, it appears I'm short a supplier.
Well, you are in luck.
Tabor Heights, or as I like to call it, my little slice of paradise, happens to be located on the same ocean that Nucky Thompson used to control.
Now I'll have the same boats, same booze.
Hell, I'll even give you the same price.
We're even 60 miles closer to New York.
I only want the genuine article.
I have no use for anything less.
- Is that today's? - Yeah, evening edition.
Give me one.
Thanks, mister.
Hey- I thought you said this was today's.
All this stuff happened yesterday.
Well, sure.
That's I had you there for a second.
From now on, room 207 at the Kinneret Lodge.
- Add me to your route.
- You betcha.
Tomorrow, just after midnight, Come around if you want, sample it for yourselves.
That's it, I surrender.
Keep feeding me like that, I'll lose my girlish figure.
Tapeworms, that's my secret.
For you.
Passover vodka? Very thoughtful, Nucky.
Think he'll mind if a Catholic takes a shot? L'chaim.
- What does that mean again? - To life.
In fact, I've got an uncle doing Whoo! That'd get you through You know what that show needs? Some dub prancing around like a schvartze? Oh, no, sir! Oh! It needs a star.
It needs you.
I don't disagree.
- Then you'll do it.
- Come again? You're going to star in The Naughty Virgin.
Congratulations.
Oh, I can't.
I have a commitment.
Kern's new show in New York.
I start rehearsals next week.
- Well, postpone it.
- Contracts are signed.
The theater's booked.
Besides, it's a great show.
I'll make it worth your while if that's your concern.
It's not about money.
I've given my word.
That's easy to straighten out.
Nuck, please.
I'd rather you didn't do that.
Well, you can't blame me for trying.
Heck, Billie's gonna come out fine.
You'll see.
I mean, it's not like she wrote it.
- Tough game, isn't it? - Show business? You know what they say, dying is easy.
Good luck with the new one.
I'll be fifth row center.
I knew you'd understand.
And thanks for lunch.
Eddie.
Forgot your vodka.
L'chaim.
They pray to that fat fuck? It's a symbol of enlightenment.
New shipment of heroin.
That ought to make Rothstein happy.
It's the other one I'm worried about.
What, Masseria? Fuck him.
Let me see.
Last two numbers are still visible.
My hand hurts.
Once they're filed off, lightly stipple the area with a punch.
Lightly.
You don't want to damage the frame.
A lot of fuss for nothing.
- You're an expert now? - I've done it plenty of times.
Well, then one more shouldn't be a problem.
Women's health clinic.
St.
Theresa's.
- Women's health clinic.
- It's the Dawson's Dancing Dolls.
Women's health clinic.
St.
Theresa's Hospital.
Free to all.
You've never seen anything like 'em, sir.
at The Funny Place.
How are you? Women's health clinic.
St.
Theresa's Hospital.
Free to all.
You've never seen anything like 'em.
Women's health clinic.
St.
Theresa's Hospital.
at The Funny Place.
Thank you, sir.
Bring some friends.
Dawson's Dancing Dolls.
They're dimpled, they're darling.
Oh, they are delightful.
Excuse me.
Marguerite.
An unexpected pleasure.
How are you, Madame Jeunet? I am well.
Very well, yes.
But we are closed.
- Alas.
- I'm sorry? The spring dresses are arriving.
Beautiful they will be, comme dans un rêve.
You must see them, but tomorrow.
I've no doubt they're lovely.
But actually, I'm here to ask a favor.
It is granted, whatever it is.
But when you come back, yes? If I could just leave some of these here for any customer that might be interested.
C'est primordial.
I take them.
Come back when all is ready.
I think she'd prefer something Good afternoon.
Yes.
I Your plans have changed, clearly.
- That is what happened.
- He expected to be out of town.
But he was able to stay at home after all.
Look, Margaret, I Well? I'm looking.
Gus, it's all too fancy for me.
Why don't we just Gosh.
- This is - Miss Kent.
Your friends call you Billie.
Guess that won't be happening here.
Why don't we discuss this later? There's no need.
I doubt that you're free in the evenings, but Well, that's service.
I haven't even called for a cab yet.
- How's that? - I travel light.
Never know when you'll have to leave town in a hurry.
- Just give me 10 minutes.
- Ain't a cabbie.
- Oh, you ain't, ain't you? - No, sir.
Listen, fellas, I Are you sure you've got the right room? You Eddie Cantor, ain't you? Depends how big the bill is.
We're affiliated with Mr.
Thompson.
You're Milky, isn't it? Chalky.
See, when you come to town, we never do get a chance to see you strut.
On account of the rules of the venue.
Oh, boys, let me tell you, that's an outrage.
You come to New York, I personally guarantee you the best box.
Ain't gonna be able to do that.
But Mr.
Thompson, he say come by.
Maybe you do a little show for us.
Well, I wish I had the time.
Said you had 10 minutes.
Look, um Mr.
White.
And Mr.
Purnsley.
I explained to Nucky.
He means the world to me.
I just can't walk away from a contract.
He, of all people, understands Any particular place you like us to sit? Right there is good.
Usually work a bigger room.
We simple folk.
Make it something funny.
A boy and girl were walking A-walking, yes, walking And as he stood there, talking He stole a little kiss The girlie starting giggling Oh, giggling, yes, giggling And as he stood there wiggling He shyly told her this Oh, gee, oh, gosh Oh, golly, I'm in love Oh, gee, oh, gosh It's you I'm thinking of I love to hold your teeny weeny hand in mine I get a piggly wiggly feeling down my spine Oh, me, oh, my Oh, how I love Tell the son of a bitch I'll do it.
You said 5:30.
I took the roundabout way to elude the baying hounds.
What hounds? Were you followed? A verbal flourish, Mr.
Smith.
What happened over there? There's nothing in the paper.
Well, it was a closed hearing, but not without its points of interest.
There was an admiral of the Coast Guard.
Rather dashing in his dress whites.
A district supervisor from the Bureau of Prohibition with a stain of some nature on his pants cuff.
And the Secretary of the Treasury soberly attired in dark wool.
I don't care what they were wearing.
What did Mellon say? I would not call him a staunch ally of the Justice Department.
Harry can't stand him.
No doubt the feeling is reciprocated.
What can he do to us? Well, a man with $200 million to his name can do whatever he chooses.
Oh, you're looking a tad peaked.
Is this all a joke to you, Means? No, but I find pleasure where I can.
Why am I doing this? Why did I leave Ohio? For the profit, Jess.
For the profit.
I can't keep track of the money.
I don't remember who I lied to or what lies I told them.
And now with this damn senator rooting around, what if he finds someone honest? Attorneys general do not go to prison.
I'm not the Attorney General.
Harry Daugherty is.
It's all quite elementary.
Your adversaries claim you're not putting bootleggers in jail.
Tell Mr.
Daugherty to put one in jail.
Bootleggers are the men we're in business with.
If they go to jail What I've learned, the truth is surprisingly easy to obfuscate.
What the heck is going on in here? Oh, thank the Lord you manifested.
I was afraid we'd be imprisoned until the cockerel crowed.
It's all right, Prudence.
You needn't bother yourself.
It's me.
May I sit? It's your house.
Would you mind? Do you imagine this being a lengthy conversation? I don't think either of us is terribly interested in that.
- This afternoon - Please, don't.
Just let me Whatever fiction you prefer is perfectly fine with me.
I'm sorry.
I am sorry.
For demonstrating bad form.
Bad form? Yes.
That would distress you, wouldn't it? - I'm being honest.
- I know.
That's what's making it all just slightly humiliating.
Is she in need of rescuing, too? She seems pretty capable of looking after herself.
I think that might prove difficult for you.
How's that? It's not a role you're comfortable in.
Maybe I've changed.
Perhaps you're not the only one.
I'll look in on the kids, then I'll leave.
- No.
- I'm sorry? I'd rather you didn't look in.
I'm still their stepfather.
That's one of the things you are.
Fair enough.
But you might want to ask yourself some practical questions.
When do you expect him? I'm sure he will be home.
What time does he usually get home? It is this time.
It is time now.
Is he always this late? You're a hard man to track down.
Agent Coughlin.
What do you want? I check on the dinner.
Do you intend to extort money from me? I'd say it was the other way around.
- Wouldn't you? - What? I saw you that night at the speak.
I kept thinking, "How do I know this fella?" I mean, that's a face you can't forget.
Then it hit me.
You came to my house before Christmas.
Over on 27th.
Gave me the big sales pitch.
How I could save money if I pressed my shirts myself.
Well, that iron you sold me is a piece of junk.
Used it two or three times.
Then it totally fell apart.
No! He wasn't here to arrest me.
I sold him an iron.
I hold his legs.
Husband! Please avert your eyes.
The bad person.
It's quiet this evening.
So I see.
Get out on the porch and attract some customers.
I thought you didn't want us doing that.
Then why the goddamn hell would I say it? My dearest James.
I am compelled to write to you due to my constant concern over expenses which are more than I can bear alone.
I miss you terribly every day.
Life is nothing without you and there is no one who understands me.
Please, please, please come home.
Your eternally devoted mother.
You've lost one, Mrs.
Thompson.
Excuse me? There were five last night.
We'll wait a few more minutes.
That seems rather ad hoc.
Not everyone has your rigor, Sister.
One tends to be prompt for the things one considers important.
Begging your pardon, ma'am.
But it is hard to get away in the evening.
What would you find more convenient? For me, the morning after I've cleared away breakfast.
And before the children are home from school.
Perhaps we can better accommodate them.
Sadly, those hours would not suit my schedule.
Mrs.
Thompson? Dr.
Mason has an emergency on the ward.
When will he be free? There's no saying right now.
He's very sorry.
Tell him not to concern himself and we'll speak when he's free.
Ladies, let's begin.
Isn't the doctor coming? He's called away, unfortunately.
But we can still have a class.
What would be the point of that? We have our book.
We have our chart.
We have ourselves.
What else is needed? This is not what we've agreed to, Mrs.
Thompson.
Yes, the whole day's been rather like that.
Last time we talked about conception, how life begins.
This evening we're going to discuss development.
How a human being grows.
Well, well, it's the iron man.
Hey, this must be a pressing issue.
May I come in? I need your help.
Flowers? I must dispose of a body.
Oh.
Must you, now? Where's the other kid? Caught a fever.
- For Mr.
Rosetti.
- I'll take it.
Suit yourself.
Untie me.
- Untie me! - I'm trying.
What's happening? What's going on? Mr.
Rosetti! Don't shoot! Go, go, go, go! Aw, fuck.
Oh, I think you're brilliant.
You are absolutely brilliant! Let's go, Vern.
We'll keep it the same for now.
He'll have his own ideas, but we'll deal with that as we stumble through, okay? - Vern.
- Don't say it.
But this is crazy, isn't it? Kid, the whole business is crazy.
I'll see you up there.
He's got a very cute boyfriend.
He doesn't come off that way.
Want to tell me what happened? You don't have to worry about it.
I had a discussion with her, we reached an understanding, and it won't happen again.
That's not what I meant.
Then I guess you'd better clue me in.
Yesterday we were closing.
Today they're rewriting the show.
Sounds like Shubert's protecting his investment.
What did you do, Gus? I didn't do anything.
You told me not to.
Besides, what does it matter as long as you get what you want? Your father doesn't know what he's talking about.
Billie.
We're gonna run through it.
What did I say? What did I do? What did I do? I like her.
Eddie, you're a lifesaver.
Whatever you're doing here, I promise I won't let you down.
Lucy Danziger.
Ever heard of her? The next one won't know a goddamn thing about you either.
All right, kids, just muddle through and make it work.
Izzy, naughty virgin, you're on.
He's not so good in a crowd But when you get him alone You'd be surprised He isn't much at a dance But when he's taking you home You'd be surprised He doesn't look like much of a lover But you can't judge a book by its cover He's got the face of an angel But there's a devil in his eye There's news from Mr.
Rothstein.
Four fatalities.
None of them Gyp Rosetti.
You'd be surprised At a party or at a ball I've got to admit that he's nothing at all But in a Morris chair You'd be surprised