Boston Legal s03e05 Episode Script
Whose God is It Anyway?
Previously on Boston Legal.
I slept with Alan Shore.
How objective can he be? You slept with me.
Think that might be part of the problem? You're a very good lawyer, but not good enough.
We're letting you go.
Judge Marcia Hooper was found murdered last night.
We were having an affair.
You're the man giving representation to the person who murdered my wife.
He's a nasty little man.
He made her get that restraining order against me.
- He made her do it.
- Scott Little's father is on the prosecution's witness list.
This is a pathetic attempt to be relevant in your son's life! How could you give testimony against him? I'm not.
At least not on the murder.
GracieJane reporting to you live from Boston with goose bumps.
Tomorrow it happens.
That lowlife, adultering, judge-murdering defendant Scott Little who, of course, gets the presumption of innocence goes on trial, and yours truly is here to cover it.
And I will be right here lapping it up like a Saint Bernard.
Am I panting too loudly? Denny, there's a- - Why are you in your bathrobe? - I just had a massage.
Uh, why are you holding your briefcase? My checkbook's in it.
L- I needed to pay the masseuse.
- Who is that under there? - What? Where? - Whoever's under there, come out.
- Go away.
I'm not going away.
Come out now.
I was doing nothing untoward.
I was hiding because I didn't want to be seen in a room with him while he's in a bathrobe.
So, better to be seen under the bathrobe? Who are you? Columbo? GracieJane.
- What about her? - She's contaminating the jury pool.
Anything you can do to shut her up.
Delighted to see you again.
Don't you be sarcastic with me, ya snoot.
My reputation's ruined.
You know, uh, this is the big third date.
The kiss date.
In modern times, some might say the "consummate" date.
Yeah.
Uh, Zach there's something you need to know about me.
What's there to know? You're beautiful, funny, a lawyer.
- I'm a lawyer at Crane, Poole & Schmidt.
- Why do I know that name? You know it because we represent Scott Little.
- You represent Scott? - I do.
Along with Jeffrey Coho, who you've met.
So all this time- - How dare you! - Don't lecture me.
The only reason Scott Little is going on trial is because his own doctor sold him out to the police.
You've also revealed a few choice little nuggets to me that- - I've told you nothing.
- Zach.
You're a chatty little guy.
I will make a deal with you right now.
Tell me the rest of the story, let me look at Scott's medical records maybe give me a glance atJudge Hooper's as well and I promiseJeffrey won't shred you on the stand like a piece oflinguine.
Let me tell you something about me, lady.
Yeah.
You've kissed Gina Gershon.
I will not be blackmailed.
Even if I were inclined to let you see those medical records which I most certainly am not I am bound by doctor-patient privilege.
- Oh, now you're bound? - Yes! It was my duty to reveal the other because a human life was in danger you treacherous vixen! You made a big mistake making an enemy of me.
Hey.
I am not paying for this.
I will bury you.
Jerry, you have got to calm down.
I can't help you while you're in this state.
Jerry.
- Goodness.
Never heard that sound before.
- I've been sued.
Oh, I thought I could handle it.
We were in the process of effecting a mutually acceptable settlement when suddenly he got himself a new, aggressive, awful, androgynous woman lawyer! Now he wants a million dollars! Jerry, what have you been sued for? One of my attorneys- As you know, I've been building my own quiet little firm.
One of my attorneys- I terminated him.
Which I'm entitled to do.
It's at-will employment, my will being dispositive.
And then he filed a claim like a snively, horrible man! What'd you fire him for? He turned out to be a Scientologist- full-blown! Jerry, we do have a little thing called freedom of religion.
I know that! But why should I have to work with one? I don't like this Scientology business.
Yuck, yuck, yuck! Brad.
Sally? - You look incredible.
- I know.
Sally.
- It's her.
Androgo-woman.
- How you doing, old man? This is opposing counsel? You ready? - Yep.
- Look at me.
I can probably get us out of this right now with murder two.
Eight to 12 years.
No.
Murder one means life.
- Are we going to lose? - We may.
I didn't kill her, Mr.
Coho.
And I'm not accepting any plea that says I did.
Okay.
Let's go.
Oh, my God.
Stay tight, no comment.
Okay.
Mr.
Coho, one quick question.
Rikki Klieman.
Scott, is your father gonna testify for or against you? Jeffrey, Joan Rivers.
Who are you wearing? Barbara! - What are you planning to say? - Get out of my way, Barbara.
- This is your own son.
- You would never let him be my son! - If I raised him, he wouldn't be here now! - Barbara! - I will not let you get away with this.
- Barbara.
- I really, really apologize.
- You apologize? I didn't tell her anything that would compromise your case, I don't think.
You compromised yourself, which will compromise our case.
I really, really apologize.
Look, I promise I will be the best witness you've ever had.
The driveway was a crushed gravel.
We were able to lift various tire tracks all of which belonged to the defendant's car, the victim's and the victim's husband- nobody else.
And, uh, what evidence did you find in the house? The only prints inside the house were Mr.
Hooper's.
None of the defendant, which is odd, since he was there.
No prints of the victim even.
- What did that tell you? - That someone was meticulous in wiping away the evidence.
Even the body had been wiped with what appeared to be a towelette.
Any evidence at all on the body? Microscopic traces ofhis semen and oil secretions.
- The defendant's? - And nobody else.
How did you first learn that my client was in the house that night? He told us.
- He came to you on his own to volunteer the information? - Yes.
And other than Scott Little being in the house that night you have no evidence, physical or otherwise, connecting him to the crime, do you? We have a video of him confessing to his therapist that he had dreams of killing her.
Yes, of course.
The video.
Once you saw that Scott Little was your man, wasn't he? - He was the main suspect.
- The main suspect.
- Who were the other suspects? - He was the only viable one.
Who were the others who turned out to be nonviable? He was the only one we considered seriously.
He was the only one you considered at all, wasn't he? Because once you saw that video, it was case closed.
Because if a person dreams or harbors fantasies of killing somebody well, that's foolproof evidence, case closed.
- Objection! - Sustained.
- We had more than dreams.
- He was in the house the night of the murder.
- But he left before the murder.
- We don't know that.
- The coroner stated that after Mrs.
Hooper was hit on the head, she likely died within minutes.
The time of death was between was at home in his house by 9::30.
- According to his mother.
- Can you refute the mother? - Can you prove that he was in the house after 9:00? - No, but I don't- Thank you, Detective.
Now Mrs.
Hooper was having other affairs, wasn't she? - She wasn't committing adultery only with Scott Little.
- She was seeing two other men.
- That you knew of.
- Both of whom had verified alibis.
Can you prove that these were the only two other men that Mrs.
Hooper was seeing? Can I prove it? No.
Thank you, Detective.
Nothing further.
Mr.
Winant? All right.
Then we'll break here and resume again tomorrow with your next witness.
- Mr.
Winant, who do you call? - The prosecution calls Judge Brian Hooper.
- One million dollars? - Thejob paid three and a quarter.
When prospective employers ask him why he was fired, he's gonna- We're not gonna give you a million dollars, Sally.
Then I guess we go to court.
Since the day you left, I've longed to go head-to-head.
You can't win this, Alan.
Freedom of religion.
It's one of the biggies.
I suppose we could wager.
Loser has to slather the winner in maple syrup and then lick it off.
Winner gets to slather the loser with maple syrup and then lick it off.
I'll see you in court.
- Brad.
- Sally, it's really nice to see you again.
- Would you like to grab some dinner sometime, catch up? - I was never behind.
I'm not the same girl you went out with.
- I'd love to get to know the new girl.
- I think he's making his move.
I used to date that woman.
That gives me first right to redate her.
I see.
Well, since we're playing by high school rules, I dated her after you did.
No.
You had a prurient affair with her when she was on the rebound from me, and that doesn't count.
What do you want to do? Wrestle me for her? Hands off my ex-girl.
Hands.
How's it going? Fine.
I prefer to be called Jerry.
Of course you do.
- May I ask you a question? - Mmm.
Uh, this may be the mad cow speaking, but didn't we fire you? I left under unfortunate circumstances.
- Oh.
Not to worry.
- Actually, it caused me a lot of worry, Mr.
Crane.
But now I've managed to reestablish myself.
I've started my own firm.
- Oh, there you go.
- But now I've totally blown it.
- I've lost it all.
So not to worry.
- Jerry.
You're not gonna lose your firm.
Of course I am, Alan.
I fired a man because of his religion.
I went to three lawyers before you because I so didn't want to bother you again.
And they all told me I can't win.
You're not gonna lose your firm.
He never had a problem with my work.
Just the opposite.
He told me I could make partner.
Then suddenly he fired me.
- Did he give you a reason? - He said my being a Scientologist wasn't commensurate with the image he wanted his law firm to project.
He called my religion "yuck.
" Your exact words.
Mr.
Karnes, he claims you were outspoken about your religion.
That's not true.
I talked about it.
- I did not get on any soapbox.
- Talked about it in the office? Yes.
But I wasn't trying to convert anyone.
I certainly wasn't a zealot.
Hejust had a problem with my particular faith.
And he said so.
Thank you.
- Scientology was invented by- - L.
Ron Hubbard.
Who started out as a science fiiction writer.
He said-and I quote- "Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous.
If a man really wanted to make a million dollars, he'd start his own religion.
" You know, people like you take that quote way out of context.
People like me? Does that mean nonbelievers? Or lawyers? Foot fetishists? - Objection.
- Mr.
Karnes what's an engram? Uh, an engram is basically a psychic scar.
It's the, uh, origin of illness.
And as I understand it uh, life, according to Scientology is all about ridding yourself of these, uh, engrams.
You do this by pursuing a path of enlightenment, uh, known- - Uh, help me out.
- The Bridge to Total Freedom.
And at each stage of the bridge, you are audited by a senior church member who hooks you up to some, uh, electronic device.
- An electropsychometer.
- Is it painful? - No.
- Ah.
And after you go through all the stages uh, you become an Operating Th-Thetan- "Theetan"- Thetan? - That's right.
- And O.
T.
's, as they're called are said to be able to communicate with animals move inanimate objects, leave their bodies at will.
- You hope to do that? - One day.
- Are Thetans immortal? - It's been said.
Well, in fact, uh, most Scientologists believe Brother Hubbard will return.
And Christians believeJesus will come again.
Are they all nuts? Most.
Scientologists also believe that 75 million years ago, an evil galactic warlord- and here's where I can almost taste the maple syrup- uh, an evil warlord by the name of Xenu dumped 13 trillion aliens from different planets into the Earth's volcanoes and then vaporized them with H-bombs.
- You're familiar with this? - Yes.
And the radioactive souls of these poor vaporized alien creatures continue to enter into our bodies implanting engrams and false ideas about Christ and God and psychiatry.
And that's why we have to purge ourselves of all of these engrams.
- Yes.
- And when one releases an engram the erasure is often accompanied by yawns or tears, uh, sweat, odor panting, urine, vomiting and other excreta- you've heard this? - Yes.
- So, basically every time you piss, puke or crap you're a step closer to immortality.
Objection.
Getting closer as I speak.
Objection.
Judge Brian Hooper, the husband of the victim, is on the stand as we speak.
You'll remember he discovered the body.
We played his frantic 911 call for you on an average of 36 times a night.
It never gets old- Hey! I'm standing here.
Well, drop dead, crime slut.
Take five.
Ladies.
- Denny Crane, as I live and drool.
- Got your own TV show.
Wow.
- I do.
And I don't need the likes of you, I'll tell you that.
- Come on, Gracie.
You're on this campaign to convict my client.
A little residual anger.
Don't flatter yourself, you big goat.
Come on.
You and me.
Ten minutes of chubby sex.
Where had you been, sir, prior to coming home that night? I'd been out to dinner.
I stopped by my chambers to get some materials and I proceeded home, arriving there around 11:00.
- Do you know the defendant, Scott Little? - Yes, I do.
- He was my wife's law clerk.
- Do you know him personally? Some.
He always struck me as extremely unstable.
- Object.
- You've learned that Mr.
Little and your wife had been carrying on an adulterous affair.
- Yes.
- When did you learn this, sir? The day of her death.
My therapist who is also the defendant's therapist, informed me.
What occasioned your therapist to tell you this, betraying Scott Little's patient confidentiality? He suddenly feared Mr.
Little might harm Marcia.
He gave me a disk.
It showed the defendant fantasizing about killing her.
He thought it was nothing more than a fantasy but he couldn't be sure.
- And he became concerned.
- After you saw this disk, what did you do? - And he became concerned.
- After you saw this disk, what did you do? I called Marcia.
Told her of the threat.
We argued over the affair.
And we agreed to talk that night when I got home.
But that talk obviously never took place.
When I got home- Uh, I'm sorry.
Your Honor, perhaps a short break? A short break.
He wants to give thejury time to absorb the testimony.
- I don't think we should cross him.
- We have to cross him.
This whole thing could just blow up in our faces.
He's a viable suspect.
We have to take the shot.
Now comes the difficult part.
You can plan on her cross-examining you quite vigorously, Jerry.
I'm ready.
Last night, I practiced in a mock trial setting.
- I'm ready.
- You practiced? - Who questioned you? - Well, Patty.
Patty? The doll? She didn't really question me.
I supplied the questions.
But she looks like Androgo-woman a little.
It was very helpful.
Okay.
Alan don't you think the resemblance is uncanny? Well, it hadn't occurred to me.
Joanna the sex therapist told me that one day I'd encounter a real live Patty.
Perhaps it's Sally.
Oh, dear.
I liked him personally.
But his ramblings were becoming more and more aberrant.
Could you give us an example, please? Well, he impugned me for taking medication.
Then there was the business about the aliens.
He'd request time off to get his body audited by these electropsychometer machines.
They believe man evolved from a clam.
- A clam? - The problem was he'd talk about it openly.
He was losing credibility as a lawyer, causing my firm to lose credibility.
The law business is tough.
He was making a mockery of mine.
- He ever commit any legal malpractice? - No.
He's an excellent attorney.
But when he talked about his religion- - It reflected poorly on the firm.
- I believe in religious freedom.
What if one of your associates was Hindu and worshipped a cow? - Would that be all right? - I think so.
What about Christianity? What if one of your associates believed thatJesus actually walked on water? Or that Moses parted the Red Sea? Or that Noah's ark actually held 60 million animals? - I don't take everything in the Bible literally.
- What if one of your lawyers did? Your Honor, she's making fun of Christianity.
It's unpatriotic.
I'm concerned it'll hurt the troops.
Mr.
Shore, sit down.
What if one of your employees believed instead of the soul of an alien entering our bodies, it was the devil? Would you fire somebody from your firm because they spoke openly about that? I am sorry, Your Honor.
This woman is clearly a Jew.
You object to her being Jewish? I'm sure somebody here must.
I don't mean to tell you how to practice law but at least some of the people in that jury box go to church or temple.
You can't be lodging a broad attack on religion like that.
It'll alienate us.
- Jerry, I have to lodge a broad attack.
- Why? This is my career on the line.
If we single out Scientology, that would make us bigots.
Are we bigots, Jerry? The widower reportedly will be cross-examined not byJeffrey Coho but Claire Simms the little princess who sits next to him.
Ask me, I don't know why they're crossing him at all.
- It was an- - Did you talk to her? Gave her my best shot.
You had sex with her.
Cheap sex.
The best kind.
- What about Bethany? Wouldn't she object? - A gentleman never tells.
A gentleman might want to look down.
- No way.
- Way.
I knew you were there.
I was just trying to make you jealous.
Denny, if she's going to be the seventh one, you might want to go after her.
Pumpkin? I testify next afterJudge Hooper's cross-examination.
I'm very nervous, of course, being a chief prosecutorial witness.
- What do you plan to say? - Mr.
Winant has asked me not to make any anticipatory remarks.
He doesn't want me to diffuse my thunder, of course.
Suffice it to say I'm a very big cog.
Your Honor, my name is Claire Simms.
And first, let me convey my sympathy for your loss.
Why don't you direct that sentiment to the jury since it's for their benefit that you express it? Okay.
You said you regarded my client as unstable.
Did your wife share this view? I wouldn't know.
Well, would it be like her to have affairs with unstable men? Did your wife have affairs with other men, Your Honor? Not to my knowledge.
You never heard rumors that she did? I lend no credence to rumors, counsel.
You say you relayed Scott's fantasy to your wife the afternoon of her death? - Yes.
- And she understood you clearly? - What is that supposed to mean? - Well, she made love to him that night.
- He probably raped her.
- There was no sign of forced intercourse.
Perhaps she didn't take his fantasy seriously.
We'd have to ask her.
Hmm.
He's got keys to your house, her chambers.
And you felt he was unstable, emotionally troubled.
And now you learn of this fantasy.
I don't know.
If it's someone I love, I tell the police.
You tell the police, sir? - No.
- And that night, you just went out to dinner.
Now, you said you got home at 11::00 that night.
Your neighbor, Lincoln Meyer, said he saw you drive into your garage between 10::00 and 11::00.
He's wrong.
Your dinner ended at 9::00.
- I had to go to my chambers.
- Anybody see you? I don't know.
Maybe a security guard at the courthouse.
I checked.
I couldn't find anybody.
I gotta ask you this question, Judge.
Did you kill your wife? - How dare you.
- Well you learn she's having an affair and you're told the kid she's having it with fantasizes about killing her.
And what do you do? You go out to dinner that night.
Nobody can account for your whereabouts between 9::00 and 11::00.
Is it possible that you waited for Scott Little to go to your house and leave a little semen at the scene, after which you went in and killed her? - Objection! - You're disgusting.
You and your wife were having marital problems.
The reason she left Dr.
Simon's practice he felt he couldn't ethically treat both of you because it posed a conflict of interest.
It's not like I'm attracted to her.
It's just that sometimes I have to take one for the team.
I think you have serious mental problems.
Bethany, you and I aren't even seeing each other yet.
And I'm not going to see somebody that throws his penis around like it's going out of style.
- Which it probably did 50 years ago.
- I promise you.
Once I enter into an exclusive relationship, I sleep with very few people.
You know what the problem is? You're a dirty old man.
Bethany.
I like you.
Can we give this a try? You would have to seriously clean up your act.
We're talking about freedom of religion the most basic of individual liberties.
Scientology may seem a little wacky to Mr.
Espenson.
So what? We never hold religion up to standards of reasonableness.
If we did, what religion could pass? Christian Scientists won't go to the doctor.
Jehovah's Witnesses forbid singing the national anthem and buying Girl Scout cookies.
Radical Islamists blow themselves up to meet virgins in heaven.
The Hindus have their cow.
People believe in all kinds of things.
It is their right to do so under the First Amendment.
But the defendant doesn't want to afford that liberty to Douglas Karnes because he thinks that Scientology is just a little too out there, I guess.
Come on.
Freedom of religion means just that.
Oh, please.
It's a dumb freedom.
An employee's behavior reflects on their employer, for God's sake.
In this case, we're talking about a law firm, a business in which clients look for good judgment, sound and sane counsel.
This guy's running around saying man evolved from a big clam after galactic warlords invaded our volcanoes.
He's a nut job.
And I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little tired of this freedom of religion thing.
When did religion get such a good name anyway? Be it the Crusades, the Reformation genocides the troubles in Northern Ireland the Middle East- mass slaughter supposedly in the name of Allah.
And then, of course, the obligatory reciprocal retributions.
Hundreds of millions of people have died in religious conflicts.
Hitler did his business in the name of his Creator.
religious extremism.
It's our greatest threat today.
A holy jihad.
If we're not ready to strip religion of its sacred cow status how about we at least scale back a little on the constitutional dogma exalting it as all get-out.
Your Honor, I would love to know what this has to do with my client being fired.
Your client was fired because he entered into an at-will employment contract he acted like a complete loon, and he now tries to cloak himself in a constitutional amendment that is as overplayed as it is misapplied.
Everybody should get to believe in God, pray to his god, worship his god.
Of course.
But to impose him on others to victimize others in his name- The founding fathers of this country set out to prevent persecution, not to license it.
And forJerry Espenson, struggling with his law practice to make ends meet don't tell me he's not victimized when one of his lawyers bounces around telling clients and other attorneys that, according to his most recent electro-"psycho"- meter reading he's getting closer to immortality at which point he'll be able to leave his body and talk to zebras.
At a certain point, we have to say enough with this freedom of religion crap! Yuck! Yuck.
Yuck.
Yes, I know.
I'll get letters.
Not going to steal my thunder.
She was a lovely woman.
That's all I'll say.
I hope I can be a cog in convicting her killer.
Not going to steal my thunder.
- He had his very own clicker.
- Clicker? A remote, so he could covertly pull into her garage.
I'd see him pull in.
And I'd watch him pull out.
- "Him"being? - The boy.
The boy was her favorite.
And by "boy," you mean the defendant, Scott Little? Many times I'd look through the window and see them doing it like apes.
You'd see the defendant and Mrs.
Hooper make love? It was often angry.
- Angry? - Oh, yes.
Sometimes it looked like he was trying to hurt her.
And she seemed to take pleasure in the physicality ofhis wrath.
In fact, I think she rather got off on feeling punished.
He seemed to enjoy hurting her.
- So it made for some very passionate ape-like sex.
- This isn't good.
Now, you didn't actually see them make love the night of the murder? No.
But I definitely saw him arrive at 8:00-ish.
- Did you see anybody else? - No.
I'd seen others on various occasions.
Some had their own clickers.
But on the night of the murder, only him.
And the husband, who arrived about 11::00, I think.
Thank you, sir.
You better get this guy.
You and I have had several conversations, haven't we, Lincoln? We have.
I don't like you.
You never told me the lovemaking was angry.
Didn't I? Sorry.
I wonder if you were saving this for trial.
You're very excited about being a big cog, aren't you, Lincoln? I'd say anxious.
Anxious to see her brutal murderer brought to justice.
You told Denise Bauer you saw the husband get home between 10::00 and 10::30.
I said no such thing.
She's obviously twisted my words.
- She twisted your words? - Yes.
- That's what all lawyers do.
- Were you obsessed with Marcia Hooper? I was enamored.
She was lovely.
- Were you in love with her? - I adored her.
- Why'd she get a restraining order against you? - Her husband.
- In her affidavit, she called you sick.
- He made her write those things.
I'll bet it was hard to watch her make love - to all those men.
- Peepies love watching.
- You brought her flowers a lot.
- She adored my flowers.
- Yet she called you sick, unbalanced.
- His words.
When's the last time you brought her flowers, Lincoln? I don't really recall.
- You grew these flowers? - In my garden.
They're lovely.
Your flowers again, Lincoln? Sure look like yours.
You were in the house, Lincoln.
- You go in after Scott left? - Don't be ridiculous.
- These are your flowers.
- I gave them to her outside that afternoon.
Oh, now you suddenly remember.
- You kill her, Lincoln? - Mr.
Coho.
- Clearly she made you angry.
- She did not make me angry.
- Called you sick.
- No.
- Unbalanced.
- His words.
- No.
Marcia's.
- She was drawn to me! Drawn to you? An effeminate loser who plays in his garden all day.
You're a Peeping Tom, for God sakes.
You should be a registered sex offender.
- You're a weird little pervert! - You watch your mouth! You dirty mouth! You watch your mouth! - Or what? You'll kill me? - Objection! Somebody oughta wash your dirty mouth out with soap.
- Does he always pace like that? - If they come back with a number above the policy, he's out of business.
Which is why you should have settled.
And waste all that syrup? Madam Foreperson, thejury has reached a verdict? - We have, Your Honor.
- What say you? We, thejury, in the matter of Karnes versus Espenson find in favor of the defendant.
Oh! Thank God! Oh, my God! Oh! Thank you! Thank you all! - Thank you! - The court thanks thejury for its service.
You are dismissed.
And thank you.
Someday I'm going to pay you back for your continued kindness you kind, kind man.
- I'm gonna go now.
Would that be all right? - It would.
Congratulations.
I will beat you one day.
I'd much rather be flogged.
If memory serves me, according to our wager- Ah.
You lick.
Would you describe your relationship with your son as estranged? I would describe it as almost nonexistent.
My wife saw to that.
You and your wife divorced when Scott was three? Yes.
And I was granted very little access.
She controlled him.
She dominated him.
Isolated him.
Mr.
Schiller, you told police you visited your ex-wife two months ago.
It wasn't a visit so much as an encounter.
She brought a civil action to garnish my wages.
I went to confront her.
And then, as I approached the house, I heard them arguing.
- Who? - Scott and his mother.
Could you hear what was being said? She was, uh, screaming at him.
Saying that adultery was a sin and so forth.
She was accusing him ofloving whoever the woman was, and he was denying it.
So, according to his mother, Scott was in love with this woman? - Objection.
Calls for hearsay.
- Excited utterance.
- I'll allow it.
- Your Honor.
- I'll allow it.
Mr.
Schiller prior to the day you heard them arguing when was the last time you saw your son? Two years ago.
It was a futile attempt on my part to reconnect.
Two years ago.
It was a futile attempt on my part to reconnect.
We went on a trip together to New York.
It didn't go well.
- No.
It, uh, ended abruptly.
- Could you tell us what happened? Um- I, uh- I was out.
And when I returned to the hotel room I inadvertently walked in on him.
What was he doing? He was gratifying himself.
- He was masturbating? - Yes.
Hejumped up.
We pretended I didn't see what I saw.
And he went to the bathroom.
And I noticed on the bed a picture and a woman's sweater.
Apicture of? A naked woman.
Did you recognize the woman in the photo? Yes.
It was his mother.
And it was one ofher sweaters.
And that's when I knew for sure what I'd suspected for a long time.
Which was? That Scott was s-sexually attracted to his mother.
And he was deeply in love with her.
- Objection.
- Overruled.
Scott Little was in love with his own mother? Yes.
And when I saw the picture of the victim how much she looked like Barbara I realized that Scott was probably carrying on some sick, twisted version of the love affair he'd always wanted to have with his mother, for which I blame her! Objection! Speculation.
Foundation.
Sustained.
Thejury will disregard that last statement.
- My son is very ill.
- Objection.
Sustained.
Mr.
Schiller, you will not offer psychological testimony.
I have nothing further.
Your Honor, I need more time.
We will adjourn and resume at 9::00 tomorrow morning.
- You can't let the jury sleep on that.
- Denise, I need more time.
I'm not in love with you.
Not, uh- Not like that.
How did you get a naked picture of me, Scott? You were sunbathing once by the pool.
You didn't know I was home.
And I photographed you.
- Why? - You just, uh- The sun, the way the light, uh- I just thought it would make for a good picture.
Scott is this what you were afraid we would discover if we opened Dr.
Simon's files? That you, um, have feelings for your mother? Okay.
Ick and double ick.
I think we should move for a mistrial on unfair surprise.
We won't get it, but we should at least preserve it on appeal.
- What happens now? - What happens now? - Fill out your change of address form.
- I didn't kill her! - Oh, gee! There's some rage.
- You shut up! You can do this.
You can do this.
Mr.
Espenson.
I realize this is extremely, extremely forward of me and I apologize deeply for any intrusion but you remind me so very much of- - Alan? - Jerry.
I'm terribly sorry.
Good-bye! Jerry, wait.
Jerry.
Je- I feel so badly for him.
The courage it took for him to actually go to her door.
- Awful.
- Falls in love with his mom's look-alike and- He still has the doll as backup, right? Let's keep in mind he gets a presumption of innocence.
'Cause nothing says "not guilty" like a pervert mama's boy who dreams about committing murder.
- My God.
- I thought you wielded some influence with this woman.
Well, she's- she's always had that problem.
She surrenders.
And then she's ready to go back to war again the minute I withdraw my soldier.
- Maybe you should take her to dinner.
- No can do.
I'm involved.
- Sorry? - I asked Bethany out.
We're a couple.
- The little person? - Yeah.
She's so brazen and ballsy, and she takes no prisoners.
She reminds me of somebody I used to know years and years ago.
- Who? - Me.
Oh, I like her, Alan.
Something special's happening here.
I feel giddy.
Only thing more exciting than meeting a new woman is running into an old one.
- Sally Heep.
- What is it about young girls? Mmm.
We look at ourselves through their eyes and feel relevant instead of- Old and fat.
I must admit, Denny.
I don't like it that there's a huge trial going on in this firm and you and I aren't front and center.
- Mmm.
- Makes it difficult to remember that in life it's all about me.
We haven't lost it, have we? Don't be silly.
Oh.
We may be less relevant, but we're rich and famous.
We still got it, Alan.
Of course we do.
What is it we still got? Young girls.
You stinker!
I slept with Alan Shore.
How objective can he be? You slept with me.
Think that might be part of the problem? You're a very good lawyer, but not good enough.
We're letting you go.
Judge Marcia Hooper was found murdered last night.
We were having an affair.
You're the man giving representation to the person who murdered my wife.
He's a nasty little man.
He made her get that restraining order against me.
- He made her do it.
- Scott Little's father is on the prosecution's witness list.
This is a pathetic attempt to be relevant in your son's life! How could you give testimony against him? I'm not.
At least not on the murder.
GracieJane reporting to you live from Boston with goose bumps.
Tomorrow it happens.
That lowlife, adultering, judge-murdering defendant Scott Little who, of course, gets the presumption of innocence goes on trial, and yours truly is here to cover it.
And I will be right here lapping it up like a Saint Bernard.
Am I panting too loudly? Denny, there's a- - Why are you in your bathrobe? - I just had a massage.
Uh, why are you holding your briefcase? My checkbook's in it.
L- I needed to pay the masseuse.
- Who is that under there? - What? Where? - Whoever's under there, come out.
- Go away.
I'm not going away.
Come out now.
I was doing nothing untoward.
I was hiding because I didn't want to be seen in a room with him while he's in a bathrobe.
So, better to be seen under the bathrobe? Who are you? Columbo? GracieJane.
- What about her? - She's contaminating the jury pool.
Anything you can do to shut her up.
Delighted to see you again.
Don't you be sarcastic with me, ya snoot.
My reputation's ruined.
You know, uh, this is the big third date.
The kiss date.
In modern times, some might say the "consummate" date.
Yeah.
Uh, Zach there's something you need to know about me.
What's there to know? You're beautiful, funny, a lawyer.
- I'm a lawyer at Crane, Poole & Schmidt.
- Why do I know that name? You know it because we represent Scott Little.
- You represent Scott? - I do.
Along with Jeffrey Coho, who you've met.
So all this time- - How dare you! - Don't lecture me.
The only reason Scott Little is going on trial is because his own doctor sold him out to the police.
You've also revealed a few choice little nuggets to me that- - I've told you nothing.
- Zach.
You're a chatty little guy.
I will make a deal with you right now.
Tell me the rest of the story, let me look at Scott's medical records maybe give me a glance atJudge Hooper's as well and I promiseJeffrey won't shred you on the stand like a piece oflinguine.
Let me tell you something about me, lady.
Yeah.
You've kissed Gina Gershon.
I will not be blackmailed.
Even if I were inclined to let you see those medical records which I most certainly am not I am bound by doctor-patient privilege.
- Oh, now you're bound? - Yes! It was my duty to reveal the other because a human life was in danger you treacherous vixen! You made a big mistake making an enemy of me.
Hey.
I am not paying for this.
I will bury you.
Jerry, you have got to calm down.
I can't help you while you're in this state.
Jerry.
- Goodness.
Never heard that sound before.
- I've been sued.
Oh, I thought I could handle it.
We were in the process of effecting a mutually acceptable settlement when suddenly he got himself a new, aggressive, awful, androgynous woman lawyer! Now he wants a million dollars! Jerry, what have you been sued for? One of my attorneys- As you know, I've been building my own quiet little firm.
One of my attorneys- I terminated him.
Which I'm entitled to do.
It's at-will employment, my will being dispositive.
And then he filed a claim like a snively, horrible man! What'd you fire him for? He turned out to be a Scientologist- full-blown! Jerry, we do have a little thing called freedom of religion.
I know that! But why should I have to work with one? I don't like this Scientology business.
Yuck, yuck, yuck! Brad.
Sally? - You look incredible.
- I know.
Sally.
- It's her.
Androgo-woman.
- How you doing, old man? This is opposing counsel? You ready? - Yep.
- Look at me.
I can probably get us out of this right now with murder two.
Eight to 12 years.
No.
Murder one means life.
- Are we going to lose? - We may.
I didn't kill her, Mr.
Coho.
And I'm not accepting any plea that says I did.
Okay.
Let's go.
Oh, my God.
Stay tight, no comment.
Okay.
Mr.
Coho, one quick question.
Rikki Klieman.
Scott, is your father gonna testify for or against you? Jeffrey, Joan Rivers.
Who are you wearing? Barbara! - What are you planning to say? - Get out of my way, Barbara.
- This is your own son.
- You would never let him be my son! - If I raised him, he wouldn't be here now! - Barbara! - I will not let you get away with this.
- Barbara.
- I really, really apologize.
- You apologize? I didn't tell her anything that would compromise your case, I don't think.
You compromised yourself, which will compromise our case.
I really, really apologize.
Look, I promise I will be the best witness you've ever had.
The driveway was a crushed gravel.
We were able to lift various tire tracks all of which belonged to the defendant's car, the victim's and the victim's husband- nobody else.
And, uh, what evidence did you find in the house? The only prints inside the house were Mr.
Hooper's.
None of the defendant, which is odd, since he was there.
No prints of the victim even.
- What did that tell you? - That someone was meticulous in wiping away the evidence.
Even the body had been wiped with what appeared to be a towelette.
Any evidence at all on the body? Microscopic traces ofhis semen and oil secretions.
- The defendant's? - And nobody else.
How did you first learn that my client was in the house that night? He told us.
- He came to you on his own to volunteer the information? - Yes.
And other than Scott Little being in the house that night you have no evidence, physical or otherwise, connecting him to the crime, do you? We have a video of him confessing to his therapist that he had dreams of killing her.
Yes, of course.
The video.
Once you saw that Scott Little was your man, wasn't he? - He was the main suspect.
- The main suspect.
- Who were the other suspects? - He was the only viable one.
Who were the others who turned out to be nonviable? He was the only one we considered seriously.
He was the only one you considered at all, wasn't he? Because once you saw that video, it was case closed.
Because if a person dreams or harbors fantasies of killing somebody well, that's foolproof evidence, case closed.
- Objection! - Sustained.
- We had more than dreams.
- He was in the house the night of the murder.
- But he left before the murder.
- We don't know that.
- The coroner stated that after Mrs.
Hooper was hit on the head, she likely died within minutes.
The time of death was between was at home in his house by 9::30.
- According to his mother.
- Can you refute the mother? - Can you prove that he was in the house after 9:00? - No, but I don't- Thank you, Detective.
Now Mrs.
Hooper was having other affairs, wasn't she? - She wasn't committing adultery only with Scott Little.
- She was seeing two other men.
- That you knew of.
- Both of whom had verified alibis.
Can you prove that these were the only two other men that Mrs.
Hooper was seeing? Can I prove it? No.
Thank you, Detective.
Nothing further.
Mr.
Winant? All right.
Then we'll break here and resume again tomorrow with your next witness.
- Mr.
Winant, who do you call? - The prosecution calls Judge Brian Hooper.
- One million dollars? - Thejob paid three and a quarter.
When prospective employers ask him why he was fired, he's gonna- We're not gonna give you a million dollars, Sally.
Then I guess we go to court.
Since the day you left, I've longed to go head-to-head.
You can't win this, Alan.
Freedom of religion.
It's one of the biggies.
I suppose we could wager.
Loser has to slather the winner in maple syrup and then lick it off.
Winner gets to slather the loser with maple syrup and then lick it off.
I'll see you in court.
- Brad.
- Sally, it's really nice to see you again.
- Would you like to grab some dinner sometime, catch up? - I was never behind.
I'm not the same girl you went out with.
- I'd love to get to know the new girl.
- I think he's making his move.
I used to date that woman.
That gives me first right to redate her.
I see.
Well, since we're playing by high school rules, I dated her after you did.
No.
You had a prurient affair with her when she was on the rebound from me, and that doesn't count.
What do you want to do? Wrestle me for her? Hands off my ex-girl.
Hands.
How's it going? Fine.
I prefer to be called Jerry.
Of course you do.
- May I ask you a question? - Mmm.
Uh, this may be the mad cow speaking, but didn't we fire you? I left under unfortunate circumstances.
- Oh.
Not to worry.
- Actually, it caused me a lot of worry, Mr.
Crane.
But now I've managed to reestablish myself.
I've started my own firm.
- Oh, there you go.
- But now I've totally blown it.
- I've lost it all.
So not to worry.
- Jerry.
You're not gonna lose your firm.
Of course I am, Alan.
I fired a man because of his religion.
I went to three lawyers before you because I so didn't want to bother you again.
And they all told me I can't win.
You're not gonna lose your firm.
He never had a problem with my work.
Just the opposite.
He told me I could make partner.
Then suddenly he fired me.
- Did he give you a reason? - He said my being a Scientologist wasn't commensurate with the image he wanted his law firm to project.
He called my religion "yuck.
" Your exact words.
Mr.
Karnes, he claims you were outspoken about your religion.
That's not true.
I talked about it.
- I did not get on any soapbox.
- Talked about it in the office? Yes.
But I wasn't trying to convert anyone.
I certainly wasn't a zealot.
Hejust had a problem with my particular faith.
And he said so.
Thank you.
- Scientology was invented by- - L.
Ron Hubbard.
Who started out as a science fiiction writer.
He said-and I quote- "Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous.
If a man really wanted to make a million dollars, he'd start his own religion.
" You know, people like you take that quote way out of context.
People like me? Does that mean nonbelievers? Or lawyers? Foot fetishists? - Objection.
- Mr.
Karnes what's an engram? Uh, an engram is basically a psychic scar.
It's the, uh, origin of illness.
And as I understand it uh, life, according to Scientology is all about ridding yourself of these, uh, engrams.
You do this by pursuing a path of enlightenment, uh, known- - Uh, help me out.
- The Bridge to Total Freedom.
And at each stage of the bridge, you are audited by a senior church member who hooks you up to some, uh, electronic device.
- An electropsychometer.
- Is it painful? - No.
- Ah.
And after you go through all the stages uh, you become an Operating Th-Thetan- "Theetan"- Thetan? - That's right.
- And O.
T.
's, as they're called are said to be able to communicate with animals move inanimate objects, leave their bodies at will.
- You hope to do that? - One day.
- Are Thetans immortal? - It's been said.
Well, in fact, uh, most Scientologists believe Brother Hubbard will return.
And Christians believeJesus will come again.
Are they all nuts? Most.
Scientologists also believe that 75 million years ago, an evil galactic warlord- and here's where I can almost taste the maple syrup- uh, an evil warlord by the name of Xenu dumped 13 trillion aliens from different planets into the Earth's volcanoes and then vaporized them with H-bombs.
- You're familiar with this? - Yes.
And the radioactive souls of these poor vaporized alien creatures continue to enter into our bodies implanting engrams and false ideas about Christ and God and psychiatry.
And that's why we have to purge ourselves of all of these engrams.
- Yes.
- And when one releases an engram the erasure is often accompanied by yawns or tears, uh, sweat, odor panting, urine, vomiting and other excreta- you've heard this? - Yes.
- So, basically every time you piss, puke or crap you're a step closer to immortality.
Objection.
Getting closer as I speak.
Objection.
Judge Brian Hooper, the husband of the victim, is on the stand as we speak.
You'll remember he discovered the body.
We played his frantic 911 call for you on an average of 36 times a night.
It never gets old- Hey! I'm standing here.
Well, drop dead, crime slut.
Take five.
Ladies.
- Denny Crane, as I live and drool.
- Got your own TV show.
Wow.
- I do.
And I don't need the likes of you, I'll tell you that.
- Come on, Gracie.
You're on this campaign to convict my client.
A little residual anger.
Don't flatter yourself, you big goat.
Come on.
You and me.
Ten minutes of chubby sex.
Where had you been, sir, prior to coming home that night? I'd been out to dinner.
I stopped by my chambers to get some materials and I proceeded home, arriving there around 11:00.
- Do you know the defendant, Scott Little? - Yes, I do.
- He was my wife's law clerk.
- Do you know him personally? Some.
He always struck me as extremely unstable.
- Object.
- You've learned that Mr.
Little and your wife had been carrying on an adulterous affair.
- Yes.
- When did you learn this, sir? The day of her death.
My therapist who is also the defendant's therapist, informed me.
What occasioned your therapist to tell you this, betraying Scott Little's patient confidentiality? He suddenly feared Mr.
Little might harm Marcia.
He gave me a disk.
It showed the defendant fantasizing about killing her.
He thought it was nothing more than a fantasy but he couldn't be sure.
- And he became concerned.
- After you saw this disk, what did you do? - And he became concerned.
- After you saw this disk, what did you do? I called Marcia.
Told her of the threat.
We argued over the affair.
And we agreed to talk that night when I got home.
But that talk obviously never took place.
When I got home- Uh, I'm sorry.
Your Honor, perhaps a short break? A short break.
He wants to give thejury time to absorb the testimony.
- I don't think we should cross him.
- We have to cross him.
This whole thing could just blow up in our faces.
He's a viable suspect.
We have to take the shot.
Now comes the difficult part.
You can plan on her cross-examining you quite vigorously, Jerry.
I'm ready.
Last night, I practiced in a mock trial setting.
- I'm ready.
- You practiced? - Who questioned you? - Well, Patty.
Patty? The doll? She didn't really question me.
I supplied the questions.
But she looks like Androgo-woman a little.
It was very helpful.
Okay.
Alan don't you think the resemblance is uncanny? Well, it hadn't occurred to me.
Joanna the sex therapist told me that one day I'd encounter a real live Patty.
Perhaps it's Sally.
Oh, dear.
I liked him personally.
But his ramblings were becoming more and more aberrant.
Could you give us an example, please? Well, he impugned me for taking medication.
Then there was the business about the aliens.
He'd request time off to get his body audited by these electropsychometer machines.
They believe man evolved from a clam.
- A clam? - The problem was he'd talk about it openly.
He was losing credibility as a lawyer, causing my firm to lose credibility.
The law business is tough.
He was making a mockery of mine.
- He ever commit any legal malpractice? - No.
He's an excellent attorney.
But when he talked about his religion- - It reflected poorly on the firm.
- I believe in religious freedom.
What if one of your associates was Hindu and worshipped a cow? - Would that be all right? - I think so.
What about Christianity? What if one of your associates believed thatJesus actually walked on water? Or that Moses parted the Red Sea? Or that Noah's ark actually held 60 million animals? - I don't take everything in the Bible literally.
- What if one of your lawyers did? Your Honor, she's making fun of Christianity.
It's unpatriotic.
I'm concerned it'll hurt the troops.
Mr.
Shore, sit down.
What if one of your employees believed instead of the soul of an alien entering our bodies, it was the devil? Would you fire somebody from your firm because they spoke openly about that? I am sorry, Your Honor.
This woman is clearly a Jew.
You object to her being Jewish? I'm sure somebody here must.
I don't mean to tell you how to practice law but at least some of the people in that jury box go to church or temple.
You can't be lodging a broad attack on religion like that.
It'll alienate us.
- Jerry, I have to lodge a broad attack.
- Why? This is my career on the line.
If we single out Scientology, that would make us bigots.
Are we bigots, Jerry? The widower reportedly will be cross-examined not byJeffrey Coho but Claire Simms the little princess who sits next to him.
Ask me, I don't know why they're crossing him at all.
- It was an- - Did you talk to her? Gave her my best shot.
You had sex with her.
Cheap sex.
The best kind.
- What about Bethany? Wouldn't she object? - A gentleman never tells.
A gentleman might want to look down.
- No way.
- Way.
I knew you were there.
I was just trying to make you jealous.
Denny, if she's going to be the seventh one, you might want to go after her.
Pumpkin? I testify next afterJudge Hooper's cross-examination.
I'm very nervous, of course, being a chief prosecutorial witness.
- What do you plan to say? - Mr.
Winant has asked me not to make any anticipatory remarks.
He doesn't want me to diffuse my thunder, of course.
Suffice it to say I'm a very big cog.
Your Honor, my name is Claire Simms.
And first, let me convey my sympathy for your loss.
Why don't you direct that sentiment to the jury since it's for their benefit that you express it? Okay.
You said you regarded my client as unstable.
Did your wife share this view? I wouldn't know.
Well, would it be like her to have affairs with unstable men? Did your wife have affairs with other men, Your Honor? Not to my knowledge.
You never heard rumors that she did? I lend no credence to rumors, counsel.
You say you relayed Scott's fantasy to your wife the afternoon of her death? - Yes.
- And she understood you clearly? - What is that supposed to mean? - Well, she made love to him that night.
- He probably raped her.
- There was no sign of forced intercourse.
Perhaps she didn't take his fantasy seriously.
We'd have to ask her.
Hmm.
He's got keys to your house, her chambers.
And you felt he was unstable, emotionally troubled.
And now you learn of this fantasy.
I don't know.
If it's someone I love, I tell the police.
You tell the police, sir? - No.
- And that night, you just went out to dinner.
Now, you said you got home at 11::00 that night.
Your neighbor, Lincoln Meyer, said he saw you drive into your garage between 10::00 and 11::00.
He's wrong.
Your dinner ended at 9::00.
- I had to go to my chambers.
- Anybody see you? I don't know.
Maybe a security guard at the courthouse.
I checked.
I couldn't find anybody.
I gotta ask you this question, Judge.
Did you kill your wife? - How dare you.
- Well you learn she's having an affair and you're told the kid she's having it with fantasizes about killing her.
And what do you do? You go out to dinner that night.
Nobody can account for your whereabouts between 9::00 and 11::00.
Is it possible that you waited for Scott Little to go to your house and leave a little semen at the scene, after which you went in and killed her? - Objection! - You're disgusting.
You and your wife were having marital problems.
The reason she left Dr.
Simon's practice he felt he couldn't ethically treat both of you because it posed a conflict of interest.
It's not like I'm attracted to her.
It's just that sometimes I have to take one for the team.
I think you have serious mental problems.
Bethany, you and I aren't even seeing each other yet.
And I'm not going to see somebody that throws his penis around like it's going out of style.
- Which it probably did 50 years ago.
- I promise you.
Once I enter into an exclusive relationship, I sleep with very few people.
You know what the problem is? You're a dirty old man.
Bethany.
I like you.
Can we give this a try? You would have to seriously clean up your act.
We're talking about freedom of religion the most basic of individual liberties.
Scientology may seem a little wacky to Mr.
Espenson.
So what? We never hold religion up to standards of reasonableness.
If we did, what religion could pass? Christian Scientists won't go to the doctor.
Jehovah's Witnesses forbid singing the national anthem and buying Girl Scout cookies.
Radical Islamists blow themselves up to meet virgins in heaven.
The Hindus have their cow.
People believe in all kinds of things.
It is their right to do so under the First Amendment.
But the defendant doesn't want to afford that liberty to Douglas Karnes because he thinks that Scientology is just a little too out there, I guess.
Come on.
Freedom of religion means just that.
Oh, please.
It's a dumb freedom.
An employee's behavior reflects on their employer, for God's sake.
In this case, we're talking about a law firm, a business in which clients look for good judgment, sound and sane counsel.
This guy's running around saying man evolved from a big clam after galactic warlords invaded our volcanoes.
He's a nut job.
And I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little tired of this freedom of religion thing.
When did religion get such a good name anyway? Be it the Crusades, the Reformation genocides the troubles in Northern Ireland the Middle East- mass slaughter supposedly in the name of Allah.
And then, of course, the obligatory reciprocal retributions.
Hundreds of millions of people have died in religious conflicts.
Hitler did his business in the name of his Creator.
religious extremism.
It's our greatest threat today.
A holy jihad.
If we're not ready to strip religion of its sacred cow status how about we at least scale back a little on the constitutional dogma exalting it as all get-out.
Your Honor, I would love to know what this has to do with my client being fired.
Your client was fired because he entered into an at-will employment contract he acted like a complete loon, and he now tries to cloak himself in a constitutional amendment that is as overplayed as it is misapplied.
Everybody should get to believe in God, pray to his god, worship his god.
Of course.
But to impose him on others to victimize others in his name- The founding fathers of this country set out to prevent persecution, not to license it.
And forJerry Espenson, struggling with his law practice to make ends meet don't tell me he's not victimized when one of his lawyers bounces around telling clients and other attorneys that, according to his most recent electro-"psycho"- meter reading he's getting closer to immortality at which point he'll be able to leave his body and talk to zebras.
At a certain point, we have to say enough with this freedom of religion crap! Yuck! Yuck.
Yuck.
Yes, I know.
I'll get letters.
Not going to steal my thunder.
She was a lovely woman.
That's all I'll say.
I hope I can be a cog in convicting her killer.
Not going to steal my thunder.
- He had his very own clicker.
- Clicker? A remote, so he could covertly pull into her garage.
I'd see him pull in.
And I'd watch him pull out.
- "Him"being? - The boy.
The boy was her favorite.
And by "boy," you mean the defendant, Scott Little? Many times I'd look through the window and see them doing it like apes.
You'd see the defendant and Mrs.
Hooper make love? It was often angry.
- Angry? - Oh, yes.
Sometimes it looked like he was trying to hurt her.
And she seemed to take pleasure in the physicality ofhis wrath.
In fact, I think she rather got off on feeling punished.
He seemed to enjoy hurting her.
- So it made for some very passionate ape-like sex.
- This isn't good.
Now, you didn't actually see them make love the night of the murder? No.
But I definitely saw him arrive at 8:00-ish.
- Did you see anybody else? - No.
I'd seen others on various occasions.
Some had their own clickers.
But on the night of the murder, only him.
And the husband, who arrived about 11::00, I think.
Thank you, sir.
You better get this guy.
You and I have had several conversations, haven't we, Lincoln? We have.
I don't like you.
You never told me the lovemaking was angry.
Didn't I? Sorry.
I wonder if you were saving this for trial.
You're very excited about being a big cog, aren't you, Lincoln? I'd say anxious.
Anxious to see her brutal murderer brought to justice.
You told Denise Bauer you saw the husband get home between 10::00 and 10::30.
I said no such thing.
She's obviously twisted my words.
- She twisted your words? - Yes.
- That's what all lawyers do.
- Were you obsessed with Marcia Hooper? I was enamored.
She was lovely.
- Were you in love with her? - I adored her.
- Why'd she get a restraining order against you? - Her husband.
- In her affidavit, she called you sick.
- He made her write those things.
I'll bet it was hard to watch her make love - to all those men.
- Peepies love watching.
- You brought her flowers a lot.
- She adored my flowers.
- Yet she called you sick, unbalanced.
- His words.
When's the last time you brought her flowers, Lincoln? I don't really recall.
- You grew these flowers? - In my garden.
They're lovely.
Your flowers again, Lincoln? Sure look like yours.
You were in the house, Lincoln.
- You go in after Scott left? - Don't be ridiculous.
- These are your flowers.
- I gave them to her outside that afternoon.
Oh, now you suddenly remember.
- You kill her, Lincoln? - Mr.
Coho.
- Clearly she made you angry.
- She did not make me angry.
- Called you sick.
- No.
- Unbalanced.
- His words.
- No.
Marcia's.
- She was drawn to me! Drawn to you? An effeminate loser who plays in his garden all day.
You're a Peeping Tom, for God sakes.
You should be a registered sex offender.
- You're a weird little pervert! - You watch your mouth! You dirty mouth! You watch your mouth! - Or what? You'll kill me? - Objection! Somebody oughta wash your dirty mouth out with soap.
- Does he always pace like that? - If they come back with a number above the policy, he's out of business.
Which is why you should have settled.
And waste all that syrup? Madam Foreperson, thejury has reached a verdict? - We have, Your Honor.
- What say you? We, thejury, in the matter of Karnes versus Espenson find in favor of the defendant.
Oh! Thank God! Oh, my God! Oh! Thank you! Thank you all! - Thank you! - The court thanks thejury for its service.
You are dismissed.
And thank you.
Someday I'm going to pay you back for your continued kindness you kind, kind man.
- I'm gonna go now.
Would that be all right? - It would.
Congratulations.
I will beat you one day.
I'd much rather be flogged.
If memory serves me, according to our wager- Ah.
You lick.
Would you describe your relationship with your son as estranged? I would describe it as almost nonexistent.
My wife saw to that.
You and your wife divorced when Scott was three? Yes.
And I was granted very little access.
She controlled him.
She dominated him.
Isolated him.
Mr.
Schiller, you told police you visited your ex-wife two months ago.
It wasn't a visit so much as an encounter.
She brought a civil action to garnish my wages.
I went to confront her.
And then, as I approached the house, I heard them arguing.
- Who? - Scott and his mother.
Could you hear what was being said? She was, uh, screaming at him.
Saying that adultery was a sin and so forth.
She was accusing him ofloving whoever the woman was, and he was denying it.
So, according to his mother, Scott was in love with this woman? - Objection.
Calls for hearsay.
- Excited utterance.
- I'll allow it.
- Your Honor.
- I'll allow it.
Mr.
Schiller prior to the day you heard them arguing when was the last time you saw your son? Two years ago.
It was a futile attempt on my part to reconnect.
Two years ago.
It was a futile attempt on my part to reconnect.
We went on a trip together to New York.
It didn't go well.
- No.
It, uh, ended abruptly.
- Could you tell us what happened? Um- I, uh- I was out.
And when I returned to the hotel room I inadvertently walked in on him.
What was he doing? He was gratifying himself.
- He was masturbating? - Yes.
Hejumped up.
We pretended I didn't see what I saw.
And he went to the bathroom.
And I noticed on the bed a picture and a woman's sweater.
Apicture of? A naked woman.
Did you recognize the woman in the photo? Yes.
It was his mother.
And it was one ofher sweaters.
And that's when I knew for sure what I'd suspected for a long time.
Which was? That Scott was s-sexually attracted to his mother.
And he was deeply in love with her.
- Objection.
- Overruled.
Scott Little was in love with his own mother? Yes.
And when I saw the picture of the victim how much she looked like Barbara I realized that Scott was probably carrying on some sick, twisted version of the love affair he'd always wanted to have with his mother, for which I blame her! Objection! Speculation.
Foundation.
Sustained.
Thejury will disregard that last statement.
- My son is very ill.
- Objection.
Sustained.
Mr.
Schiller, you will not offer psychological testimony.
I have nothing further.
Your Honor, I need more time.
We will adjourn and resume at 9::00 tomorrow morning.
- You can't let the jury sleep on that.
- Denise, I need more time.
I'm not in love with you.
Not, uh- Not like that.
How did you get a naked picture of me, Scott? You were sunbathing once by the pool.
You didn't know I was home.
And I photographed you.
- Why? - You just, uh- The sun, the way the light, uh- I just thought it would make for a good picture.
Scott is this what you were afraid we would discover if we opened Dr.
Simon's files? That you, um, have feelings for your mother? Okay.
Ick and double ick.
I think we should move for a mistrial on unfair surprise.
We won't get it, but we should at least preserve it on appeal.
- What happens now? - What happens now? - Fill out your change of address form.
- I didn't kill her! - Oh, gee! There's some rage.
- You shut up! You can do this.
You can do this.
Mr.
Espenson.
I realize this is extremely, extremely forward of me and I apologize deeply for any intrusion but you remind me so very much of- - Alan? - Jerry.
I'm terribly sorry.
Good-bye! Jerry, wait.
Jerry.
Je- I feel so badly for him.
The courage it took for him to actually go to her door.
- Awful.
- Falls in love with his mom's look-alike and- He still has the doll as backup, right? Let's keep in mind he gets a presumption of innocence.
'Cause nothing says "not guilty" like a pervert mama's boy who dreams about committing murder.
- My God.
- I thought you wielded some influence with this woman.
Well, she's- she's always had that problem.
She surrenders.
And then she's ready to go back to war again the minute I withdraw my soldier.
- Maybe you should take her to dinner.
- No can do.
I'm involved.
- Sorry? - I asked Bethany out.
We're a couple.
- The little person? - Yeah.
She's so brazen and ballsy, and she takes no prisoners.
She reminds me of somebody I used to know years and years ago.
- Who? - Me.
Oh, I like her, Alan.
Something special's happening here.
I feel giddy.
Only thing more exciting than meeting a new woman is running into an old one.
- Sally Heep.
- What is it about young girls? Mmm.
We look at ourselves through their eyes and feel relevant instead of- Old and fat.
I must admit, Denny.
I don't like it that there's a huge trial going on in this firm and you and I aren't front and center.
- Mmm.
- Makes it difficult to remember that in life it's all about me.
We haven't lost it, have we? Don't be silly.
Oh.
We may be less relevant, but we're rich and famous.
We still got it, Alan.
Of course we do.
What is it we still got? Young girls.
You stinker!