Bunk'd (2015) s03e05 Episode Script

1 Oh, eggs, you are going to make a lovely breakfast for my campers! So many options.
Boiled, poached, scrambled (Yelling) Ow, ow, ow! Hot stove! (Blowing) Oh, oatmeal! You are going to make a lovely breakfast for my campers! (Yells) Ow! Finn, that's dangerous! Come down! Finn! Not again! You're gonna get hurt! Will not! That's what you said about porcupine tag! Honestly, I cannot leave you two alone for five seconds.
Finn! How did you get up the flagpole? I shimmied! Well, shimmy back down this instant! Okay.
(Ravi groans) Told you I wouldn't get hurt.
So, Ravi, what's for breakfast? A stern talking-to.
We had that yesterday! All: Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka My bed's done.
Ow! Zuri! You keep stepping on my head.
It's kinda hard not to when it's such a big target.
I am proportional.
Destiny, what's taking you so long? I like my pillows extra fluffed.
Ladies, we're going spelunking.
Yay! It's been so long since I had a spa day.
No, Emma.
Spelunking means exploring caves.
I would like to retract my "yay" and submit a "boo.
" I second that boo.
You want us to crawl around in some cold, filthy caves? It'll be great! It's spooky, dark, and there are bats! Not really selling it, Lou.
Did I mention you get to wear these cool hats? Hmm.
I do love accessories.
And I love when there's a spotlight on me.
Sorry.
Force of habit.
Why do we need to be in here with you? Because I cannot be in multiple places at once.
I am co-owner of the camp, I run the kitchen, and I must keep you two from doing something dangerous.
You mean like that? Finn! What are you doing? Untying my shoe.
Stop that.
The sharpest thing you are allowed To go near is my wit.
(Chuckles) That wouldn't cut through soft butter.
I'm bored! Well, I am sorry, but this is the new rule, when you are not engaged in supervised camp activities, you must be with Papa Grizzly.
Please don't call yourself Papa Grizzly.
It's disturbing.
Very.
Ooh, I wonder if I can fit my head in that toaster.
No, no.
You can't.
And, newer rule, Papa Grizzly says go outside and play.
The kitchen is obviously way too dangerous for them.
(Yelling in pain) Ow, ow, ow! Still hot! Okay, now remember, once we get inside, there's more twists and turns than a pig's intestinal tract.
That's the ninth thing today she's compared to a pig's intestinal tract.
So, before we go in, some basic safety rules.
Stay close at all times.
If you do get lost, stay put and wait for me to find you.
And watch out for the three-legged goat, he's a biter.
What? Oh, sorry, that was from my spiel for the petting zoo back home.
Flashlights on.
Don't be scared to go into the cave, Prancy.
Lou knows what she's doing.
Lou: Okay, watch your step.
Ow! Careful.
Those'll sneak up on you.
Right.
It was cleverly hiding at eye level.
Ow! My head! Told you it was a big target.
And I told you I'm proportional.
Maybe we should rethink this.
(Nervously) Okay, I'm ready! One, two Finn! What are you doing? Seeing how good my aim is without my contact lenses.
What? Despite my best efforts, you both keep getting into trouble.
It is clear to me now that more drastic measures are required.
Ah.
We can't handle anymore "stern talking-to".
Emma: Wow.
The farther in we go, the darker it gets.
Yes, Emma, that's how caves work.
Zuri: Oh, look! A cave painting! Cool! Is that the Kikiwaka monster that the camp is named after? Yep.
But the real one is even more terrifying.
There's a real Kikiwaka monster? (Chuckles) Nope.
Because that might scare the campers, which would be bad for business.
Wow.
The goddess in that painting kinda looks familiar.
It should.
It's your mom.
I drew it because I worship her.
See the minion offering up the season's harvest? That's me.
And this cave just got a whole lot creepier.
(Faint squeak) Please tell me that was a floorboard.
Emma, we're in a cave.
And we're gonna be fine.
(Distant squeaking) Lou? Okay, girls.
Remember, there's nothing to be afraid of.
So stay calm, And whatever you do, don't (Gasps) (Bats squeaking) (Shrieking) scream.
Zuri: Nothing to be afraid of, huh? I told you girls there were bats in the caves! I thought you just meant we had boogers! Run! Great field trip, Lou.
Ugh.
We're covered in bat poop! Quit complaining.
You saw nature, you saw art, and running in terror was great cardio.
Prancy! Destiny? Are you okay? Yes! Fine! It's just cave bugs.
(Destiny screams) Cave bugs.
As long as they don't lay eggs She'll be fine.
Come on, Matteo, trust fall! It'll be fun! It's not fun, and I don't trust you.
We gotta do cool stuff while Ravi's not watching.
When the cat's away, the mice will play.
Ravi: Meow.
It seems the cat is not away after all.
Ravi? Where are you? Ravi: I am everywhere.
I am nowhere.
(Whispers) I am Ravi.
Oh.
I know what's going on here.
Me too.
Ravi died and became a ghost.
This is Ghost Ravi.
Or he's watching us on that camera.
Correct! With my new surveillance system, I can see you wherever you are.
How many of these cameras did you install around camp? I got a great deal on a bulk order.
You mean from now on you're gonna watch us wherever we go, and whatever we do? (Camera creaks) And I thought the Papa Grizzly thing was disturbing.
Zuri: Destiny.
What are you doing? Uh, sleepwalking.
You just answered my question, so you can't be sleepwalking.
Sleepwalkers just mumble nonsense to themselves.
(Mumbling) Koala, jellybean, metric system Destiny.
What's really going on here? Nothing.
It's just I lost something important on our field trip to the bat toilet.
Your dignity? We all did.
No.
Actually, it's my horse, Prancy.
You had a horse? How did I miss that? (Shushing) No.
He's my stuffed animal.
And he makes me feel safe, okay? I didn't want to tell anyone 'cause I was embarrassed.
Go ahead and laugh.
You shouldn't go by yourself.
I'll get the gear.
Wow, you're being so sweet, Zuri.
Don't let it get out.
It'll ruin my rep.
Well, Dancy was nowhere along the trail.
His name is Prancy.
Short for Sir Prancifald Winston Hartfield the Never mind.
I guess I must have dropped him when we ran away from the bats.
You sure you wanna go back in there? I have to.
I know he's just a stuffed animal, but Prancy's been my best friend since forever.
I don't expect you to understand.
Actually, I understand completely.
You do? Sure.
When I was your age, I had an imaginary best friend, Millie the Mermaid.
Wait.
Your best friend was an imaginary mermaid? (Chuckles) That's weird.
You want your horse back or not? Let's go.
Where is he? I stepped on something.
Ooh, I think it's Prancy! A bone? How could you think that was Prancy? I don't know, I never met the guy.
Or this guy.
We're never gonna find him.
Well, maybe we could find you a new best friend in the Lost and Found.
There's a one-eyed bear who's been there since the 90s.
No.
I am not leaving without Prancy.
Prancy! I missed you so much! You must have been so cold and scared out here all alone.
I'm so glad you found him.
Now let's get out here.
Um.
How do we get out of here? Easy.
Just go back the way we came.
Which was? It all looks the same.
We're never gonna find our way out.
Don't worry.
That wall has a sticky-out rock thing, and that wall (Panicking) It all looks the same! (Chicken clucking alarm tune playing) Ugh.
I hate that clucking clock.
Wait a minute, where's Zuri? And Destiny? They're not in the bathroom.
Maybe they got up early to help Ravi in the kitchen? We're talking about Zuri and Destiny here.
They wouldn't get up early if the cabin was on fire.
Good thing they weren't here when the cabin was on fire.
What could they be doing? I don't know, but we need to find them.
(Dramatically) Release the hounds.
Lou, for the last time, we don't have hounds! I know, I just like saying it.
Ravi! This better be important whoever you are.
Oh! We can't find Zuri and Destiny.
Didn't you put up surveillance cameras around the camp because you can't control your kids? You know, normally people are less critical when they ask for a favor.
Just show us the footage from last night.
(Sighing) Very well.
This is the great lawn, late last night.
(Chuckling) Is that you breakdancing? (Chuckles nervously) No.
Fast-forward.
Emma: Oh, wait.
That's them.
Lou: They've got spelunking gear.
They must have gone back to the cave.
Ugh! Why would they do that? Because it's a fun and educational activity for all ages.
They could be in trouble.
Let's go.
Which counselors cannot control their kids now? No one ever hears my sick burns.
Well, it took a while, but we're finally away from Ravi's cameras.
Now we can have some fun.
Let's pet that snake.
Let's not.
(Drone buzzing) What's that? It's a robot bird! No.
It's a drone.
Ravi: Out for a fun day in the woods, I see.
Neat-o! But boys, the sun is pretty intense today.
You should stay hydrated.
Both: Ugh.
Ew.
Ravi, quit it! Never! I must protect you, and it is fruitless to evade my drone.
It can reach speeds of 55 kilometers per hour, can withstand inclement weather, and has a range of Oh, dear.
Hey, wanna watch something, Ravi? Watch this! (Noisily blowing raspberries) Nobody spits on Papa Grizzly.
We've been walking forever.
This is useless.
No, it's not.
Think positive.
I'm trying.
But our headlamps went out, it's freezing in here and I'm pretty sure those bones were human.
Here, take my jacket.
I never thought I'd say this but maybe we should do what Lou said and stay put.
And don't worry.
Emma and Lou will figure out what happened and will come get us.
You said that five hours ago! I'm running out of things to say.
Unless you want me to rank my favorite 56 Blake Shelton songs again.
Nope.
I'll take false promises.
Trust me, we're gonna be okay.
After all, things can't get any worse.
My bad.
Emma: Destiny! Lou: Zuri! (Voice echoing) Destiny! (Voice echoing) Zuri! Hey! Someone else is calling their names too! Those are our voices echoing.
Now, most people would put Blake's Hillbilly Bone above I'll Name the Dogs, but not this Sheltie Wait.
I think I hear something.
Destiny.
Oh, great Christina, please help us find our lost little Woodchucks.
FEMALE Voice: Help! (Gasps) It's them.
Wow, you're good! Emma: Destiny! Zuri! Thank you, oh, exalted one.
Emma: Lou! Coming.
There you are! You found us.
Thanks to Christina.
I have to make another offering.
Zuri, how could you be so irresponsible? Yeah, you're supposed to protect Destiny, not lead her into danger.
I'm really disappointed in you.
But I was just trying I'm sorry.
Zuri, it's okay.
The truth is, it's not her fault.
It's mine.
I came back for Prancy.
What? Who's Prancy? My horse.
I know.
I'm just a baby who can't sleep without her stuffed animal.
Aw, Destiny, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
If Prancy makes you happy, that's all that matters.
Absolutely.
Lots of people still have things from when they were young that they cherish.
Yeah, like Ravi still has his paralyzing self-doubt.
(Growling) (Gasps) Timmy? Is that you? No, it's a wild animal.
Girls, get behind me.
Okay.
(Growling continues) Emma! Not you.
What? I'm protecting them from the back.
(Growling) (All shrieking) He's licking her to death! It's Chuck! Who's Chuck? And why is he trying to slurp Lou's face off? Chuck is Lou's pet wolf that we used to keep in the cabin with us.
Until he turned our cabin into a chew toy.
Hey, boy, how are ya? Oh! I missed you too! He must have moved in here after his doghouse burned in the fire.
What up, Chuckster? We didn't know what happened to you.
Guys, I hate to break this up, but we should probably be getting back.
All right.
Come on, buy.
Let's go back to camp.
(Chuck whining softly) Come on, boy.
Let's go.
Aw.
I guess this is your home now.
I'll come back and visit all the time.
(Barking) Lou, why is he barking at us? Maybe he wants me to stay here and live with him and be his wolf queen? (Baby wolf whining) All: Aw! Lou: A baby wolf! That's my grandwolfy.
I'm a grandma! I just wish I had some hard candy.
(Softly) We should probably check Lou for rabies.
Hey! You give that back.
I guess he really likes Prancy.
Don't worry.
I'll get it back from him.
No, wait.
I've had Prancy for a really long time.
And I think I'm ready to let him go now.
Are you sure, Destiny? Yup.
After all, with Zuri's help, I survived the night in a dark, bat-infested cave.
I think I'm grown up enough to give Prancy away to someone who needs him more.
So you can keep him, Chuck Junior.
Oh, this is so beautiful.
Such is the magic of the caves.
I'm really proud of you, Destiny.
Thanks, Zuri.
You know, I thought I'd be more sad, but I'm actually really happy that Prancy is in the paws of the next generation, who will cherish and love him forever.
(Growling) Yup! Forever and ever! Let's keep this train moving.
Come on, dude, rock baseball will be fun.
Regular baseball isn't even fun.
And since I don't know how to hit, it'll just be you throwing rocks at me.
Batter up.
Did I hit it? No.
But you did hit that bee's nest.
Uh-oh.
Do you think they noticed? (Bees buzzing) I'm guessing yes.
I am fed up with you two! Get ready for the sternest of talking-to's.
Can we do this back at camp? Give me one good reason.
We'll give you a thousand good reasons.
Run! Ahh! Bees! Well, I hope you two have learned your lesson.
Yep.
Rock baseball is more of an indoor game.
No! I mean I must constantly be watching you both, or you end up in danger.
Like being chased through the woods by angry bees.
The only reason we were out there was to get away from your cameras.
Oh.
Yeah, I can see the irony here.
And it is amazing I can see anything, because my eyes are rapidly swelling shut from the bee stings.
You're right, Ravi.
Matteo does tend to be a bit reckless.
Me? Before I met you, the most dangerous thing I did was walk slowly with safety scissors.
But this is camp.
We're supposed to have adventures, right, Ravi? Yes.
But they need to be safe and not include cleavers, arrows, or jumping off of pool tables.
Okay.
But it's hard to have fun when you're being watched all the time.
I suppose I can understand that.
Allow me to offer up a compromise.
I will take down all the cameras, send back the drones, and remove the chips from your necks.
Both: What? Kidding.
And in return, you will both exercise a modicum of caution when playing unsupervised.
Deal.
I promise to be more careful.
I'm gonna wrestle a possum.
He's old and has no teeth.
Maybe I will just keep one camera.