Chuck s03e05 Episode Script

The old heated doorknob.
Nice try.
Lester, you still giving me the silent treatment? - Okay.
Everybody, good morning.
- Good morning.
Your coffee, sir.
Why, Jeffrey, thank you so much.
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
You know, call me old-fashioned, but I just I prefer cream over laxative.
Heh.
I need everybody's attention.
I know some of you are unhappy I'm running the Buy More.
I'm sorry.
But all your little tricks and your tactics, I know them all.
I taught you them.
So listen up.
No more sabotage.
Thank you.
Lester, you're in my chair.
There's one thing I learned in Hawaii, it's that I'm good at this.
I am good at the Buy More.
Do me a favor and grab Chuck for me? Can somebody grab Chuck for me? Hey, Jeff, can you send Chuck back here for me? Chuck! Casey, I wanna ask you about a beastmaster.
- Really? - No, not really.
Hey.
Have we got any more info on you-know-who down in Castle? - Shaw? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Shaw.
I'm busy.
Why don't you talk to him? He's living there.
Living in Castle? What? What? Casey, what's going on? - Is he really in charge of our team? - Shaw is a special agent with the CIA.
He can do pretty much whatever he wants.
- Even more special than me? It gets worse.
Whenever a special agent takes over, they conduct a review.
Sarah's in there with him now.
What do you think they're talking about? Is Chuck Bartowski a real spy? - Yes.
Of course he is.
I mean, his training has been irregular, and he was a civilian only two years ago.
Reports tell a different story.
Sometimes he sounds like Bond, other times, a Jerry Lewis movie.
I need to know, is Chuck a liability? Wait, the review's about me? Shouldn't Shaw be asking me about me? Where's the fun in that? Look, I am never gonna be able to escape this ridiculous cover if Shaw thinks I'm some moron-civilian who got unlucky to get a computer dumped into his head.
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
- What? - Help.
- Morgan, did you get glued to a chair? Yes.
Yes, I did, okay? The whole store's coming after me, dude.
Lester went mute and refuses to talk to me.
Maybe because you fired him? No, no.
They've teamed up and formed an evil cabal of tricksters.
I haven't had an untainted cup of coffee in days.
I need my free coffee.
Give me five minutes running this popsicle stand, we'd be ready.
What? Ready for what? The Russians.
Hey, hey, hey.
Little help.
Is that? Is that Shaw? Listen.
I am an integral member of this team, okay? My voice should be heard.
Your prepubescent girl screams are gonna be duly noted.
Actually, right now, he wants to see you.
Shaw, I'm certain that things have been said about either myself or my abilities as a spy.
While I concede there are more traditional or professional spies Chuck, this is my meeting.
Right.
Sorry.
Please continue.
I think we can all agree this team has been dysfunctional the last two years.
And I think I know what the problem is.
The problem is them.
- What? What does that mean? - Means he's a moron.
They coddle you.
You could be a great spy, but they won't let you evolve.
Really? I mean, yes.
Yes, really.
He's right.
Let me be a spy.
Let me out of the car.
I'm ready.
No, Shaw.
He's not.
Duly noted and ignored.
Chuck, you're going on your first solo mission.
Undercover.
In Paris.
Are you ready? Absolutely.
- Um, so, what are we doing here, exactly? - Your Intersect skills can be glitchy.
You'll need some basic spy craft for this mission.
- Have you ever used one of these? - A pen? - KGB-model tranq pen.
- Oh, yeah.
Casey's got one of these.
Aim it at your target's food or drink and it's bedtime for bad guy.
You want me to tranq Jeff? I can't do that.
I've read everyone's file.
Jeff Barnes will be fine.
Come on, Chuck, you up for this? - Yeah.
Hey, Jeffrey Jeff.
How's it hanging, brother? - Everything okay? - Yeah.
Um.
What do you mean, okay? What are you doing? You don't usually check up on me like this.
- Did I do something wrong? - No, no, no, buddy.
Everything's fine.
You're fine.
Work's fine, you know.
This is more of a checking in.
Just making sure you're feeling okay.
Just a little human-to-humanoid interaction, so.
- Good.
- Thanks, yeah.
A bit of a rocky start, but I finished strong.
What's next? - Let's go.
You're ready.
- What? Whoa, I am? I'm ready after 20 seconds? After two years.
I just wanted to talk to you privately, Chuck.
You've been on more missions than most spies have been in a lifetime.
Trust me, you're ready.
Freshly brewed, untouched by Jeff's lips.
Checkmate, Lester.
Checkmate.
As assistant manager, I claim this cup of coffee for me.
Mm.
Okay.
That's what I'm talk You guys gotta understand something.
You gotta get up pretty early to get ol The CIA contact will meet you in Paris.
You're traveling as Carmichael, a successful businessman.
- Itinerary and passport.
- Guys, it's all good.
I'm ready, okay? What are these? - Nunchucks.
You know very well that I don't like carrying guns around.
But I thought it wouldn't be such a bad idea to have some kind of offensive weapon.
You know, just to have with me, just in case.
And they're supposed to be in the Intersect, so.
- Casey, can I have a second? Yeah.
Listen, I know you want this to work and you wanna impress Shaw.
But this is crazy.
Nunchucks are crazy.
You weren't supposed to see those.
But Shaw, an honest-to-God, real-life special agent for the CIA thinks that I'm ready.
He thinks I can do it, and I wanna prove he's not wrong about me.
I'm not saying that you can't do this, but.
Please.
Please, just don't go now, okay? You need more time.
He's going.
Beckman agrees with me.
We've set up a subnetwork on your phone.
You'll be able to text and call from the plane.
Your ticket.
And your car is waiting outside.
You'll receive instructions in Paris.
Oh, Daddy! First class.
That is Probably what you do for everybody.
Okay.
Well, see you later.
I hope.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Welcome to first class, sir.
May I take your jacket? You wanna take my jack ? Yes.
Of Yes.
Sorry about that.
There you go.
Oh, actually, you know what? Let me just get my phone and writing utensil.
Okay.
- Lucky pen? - Huh? Lucky pen? No.
No, just a You know, just a regular old "pen" pen.
- Okay.
- Heh.
Mm.
I'm Chuck.
I mean, Charles.
I mean, name is Charles, but my friends call me Chuck.
- I'm Hannah.
Just Hannah, Chuck.
- Good, that makes it easy.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Yeah.
- May I offer either of you a drink? - Oh, no.
Know what? I'm on business.
Thank you.
Me too.
I'll have his.
On second thought, I think I will, then.
Thank you.
- For you.
Uh-huh.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
So, what do you think of our fellow passengers here in first class? I'm thinking Syrian dignitaries over there a couple of nuclear physicists.
That bunch, I don't know about them.
That bunch over there? Yeah, I'm gonna go with Yale fencing team.
Without a doubt.
- Spot on.
- Oh, thanks.
Ha, ha.
Now, what about you, Charles-But-My-Friends-Call-Me-Chuck? Uh.
What about ? What about me? Um.
I'm in retail.
Very high-end merchandise.
At a very prestigious store.
What the? Come on! Get me out of here! This is not! Hey, Casey.
Oh, thank you.
See that? You see that? How do you do that? - You command respect.
I No.
I take it.
Shaken, not stirred.
- Thank you.
You don't fly first class often? Wha ? No.
No, of course I do.
All the time.
L.
A.
to Paris.
Paris to L.
A.
What about you? Well, I work for a private investor.
Essentially, he just flies me around the world and I fix problems for him.
IT stuff.
Computers, mainframes.
It's terribly boring.
And stress, a lot stress, but I get to travel.
And live in Paris.
I have a view of the Eiffel Tower.
- No way.
Really? - Yeah.
Have you been? To the Eiffel Tower? Yeah, so many times.
Can't count how many times.
I know everything there is to know about it.
Chuck, what do we think of Mr.
Muscles over there? - Mr.
Muscles? Let me take a gander.
Professional wrestler, maybe.
I don't know.
Tough to tell.
Kind of non-descript, really.
Don't you think? Would you excuse me? Gotta use the little boy's room.
- Yeah.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Here you go.
Hey, you there? - Chuck, have you flashed yet? How did you know I'd flash? Because your mission's not in Paris, Chuck.
Your mission is on the plane.
What do you mean my mission is on the plane? The mission is on the plane? Hugo Panzer, the man you flashed, is a Ring agent.
He's moving a CIA crypto-key to Paris.
He'll put it in cargo.
Get his claim ticket go to the cargo hold, find his bag, get the key.
Yeah, I'm only seeing problems with that plan right now.
Hugo Panzer is a bit on the large side.
Chuck, I gave you the pen for a reason.
You can do this.
The pen.
Of course, the pen.
Tranq him, get the ticket.
- No problem.
- Chuck, please be careful.
Hugo Panzer is very dangerous.
He is a master at close-quarters combat.
Sarah, don't you worry.
I'll have that key before they serve the lobster.
And by the way, I'm quite looking forward to that.
Hello? Should have told me.
- This is why I didn't.
- Chuck's not ready for Paris and certainly not for a mid-air mission.
We can't help him.
Well, now we find out if your asset is a real spy.
Who are you, Agent Shaw? I've never heard of you and neither has Casey.
- You're a very well-kept secret.
- I do like my secrets.
Don't you? Being the daughter of a con man teaches you that.
- You really do read everybody's files.
- Of course.
I have questions for you.
Seven months ago, when Chuck was in Prague you went off-grid for three days.
This is a surveillance photo of a hotel in Lisbon.
This is you.
Beckman ordered you to stay in contact, but you ran.
Why? It's not what you think.
I don't know what to think.
Are you a double agent? A Ring operative? Or is this about Chuck? Excuse me.
Sorry to bother you.
The woman I'm sitting next to is a nuisance.
Will not shut up.
So I was kind of wondering if I could plop down here if that's okay.
- Fine.
- Thanks.
Awesome.
You know, I think she's an upgrade.
It's such a bummer too.
One of the things I love about first class is socializing and rubbing elbows with people that are like-minded.
Not the rabble.
Don't you agree? - Excuse me.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
Do your thing.
Crossword time.
"One across.
Ecru.
" It's the air pressure.
- What? Huh? Pens don't always work on planes because of the pressure.
- That's fascinating.
- Let me try.
Oh, no Please don't Don't - Sorry.
Sorry about that.
Sorry.
- That wasn't ink.
Ah! Sir, this is first class.
- Who are you? - Nobody.
Who are you? KGB.
Yeah? - Any updates on Chuck? Relax, Casey.
He's doing fine.
Hey, John.
Uh, do you have a second? I need a favor.
- Not interested.
I hate to pull rank here, John but I am your superior.
- What? - I need you, okay.
Please help me.
I don't know what they'll do next.
Lester and his gang.
They've taken over, set booby traps everywhere.
I'm going crazy here.
I can't fight them by myself anymore.
They don't follow any rules.
Insurgents? I hate insurgents.
Then this'll work out, I think.
Hey.
Hey, guys.
I'm in the cargo hold.
And it's frigging freezing in here.
Good job.
Look for the matching ticket, find the key, get back to your seat.
Come on.
I'm right, aren't I? I should tell you I'm always right.
It's annoying but true.
Why don't you tell me what you're right about, so I can tell you're wrong.
My theory about you and Chuck.
Most spies push their assets to perform.
That's what I do.
You protect him.
You care for him.
And you followed him to Lisbon.
- That's not true.
- Come on.
I was right about this mission.
- And I'm right about you.
- Chuck isn't home free yet.
What do you got, Chuck? - I found it.
It's a casket.
Smart.
The Ring knows that customs won't check the body.
Open it up.
Find the key.
- That's disgusting.
- Get it done, Chuck.
Oh! Hi, sorry about this.
Where are you? Where is it? Oh, dead hands.
Dead, cold hands.
Dead cold.
Here we go.
Oh, that's disgusting.
God, dead skin, dead skin, dead skin.
Jackpot.
It's Chuck.
- Don't answer.
He's taken care of Hugo.
He has to find the key.
- He shouldn't need to call.
- Sarah, pick up.
Pick up your phone.
- What if he's in trouble? - Go ahead.
Answer it.
Just know if you do, he'll never be a real spy.
And one day, that will get him killed.
Sorry.
Sorry, old man.
Sorry, old man.
Don't freak out.
Casey? Casey? Listen.
I'm in a little bit of a pickle right now.
I am currently trapped in a coffin with a recently deceased elderly man and a large bad guy trying to find me.
- Aren't you on the plane? Right.
Yes, I forgot to mention that.
The mission is on the plane.
I have the key, but the Ring operative is right outside.
What do I do? - You get taken.
- What? Agent's gonna find you because you picked the dumbest place to hide.
Thanks.
Criticism is always welcome.
When he does, you act like your girlish self.
Scream like a banshee so he doesn't think you're a threat.
When he pulls you out, find a weapon then flash.
What if I don't flash? Then you're dead.
So flash.
Casey Chuck? Chuck? Yeah, Casey? Bartowski's in trouble.
- The Ring operative has him.
- What? Chuck's been taken.
I'm opening a line to his phone.
I sincerely hope that's not your father.
You should have taken my watch.
My employer demands a certain heart rate when I'm on the job.
Got a little present for you.
They really are a fencing team.
Why don't you just come here? I'll do this clean.
Easy.
No pain.
Please be in the Intersect.
En garde.
- Point.
What's the matter? You know you're gonna die.
You missed.
A lot.
Chuck? Chuck, what's happening? Hey.
Guys, I'm still alive.
And my first solo mission was a success.
Buckle up, Buy Morians.
It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Meet my new lieutenant assistant manager, John Casey.
You guys know John from Appliances.
Or maybe you remember him from the volleyball incident at last year's employee picnic.
Either way, for those who are willing to abandon the plot to sabotage me and my assistant manager-ship you're free to go.
Well, well, well.
Lookie what we have here.
- This is a no-smoking store.
- Thanks, Jeff.
My lieutenant has a right to smoke a cigar if he wants to.
Or he can put it out.
Mr.
Casey.
Anyone else wanna leave? Anything you gotta say, big guy? Lester says: - "This isn't over.
" - Does he? Sounds outrageous but the Eiffel Tower's most amazing engineering feat is the elevator itself.
And with that, I realize I'm the most boring person.
No.
No, that was an amazing story.
And I really like your model.
Thanks.
It was a gift from my dad.
Can I ask you a personal question? Sure.
Have you ever been to Paris, Chuck? Of course.
That's - No, I haven't.
- It's just that you talked about it with such wonder, like someone who's always wanted to go.
No one in first class ever wants to do anything that badly.
You're different.
You stand out.
Thank you.
This is all kind of new to me.
I just wanted to fit in.
Yeah, why? What's your secret, Chuck? The truth is I work at the Buy More in Burbank.
You know the? In the Nerd Herd department.
I did a home theater install at this guy's house.
And he liked it so much that he wanted me to do same thing in his home in Paris.
So here I am.
His ticket.
I'm just along for the ride.
I don't really belong in Paris, or first class, for that matter.
That's not true.
Do you wanna know my secret? Is it scary? No.
Um.
I just got fired from my job.
I thought I had actually convinced them to let me stay but I am now officially flying to Paris to empty out my office.
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
Meeting you almost makes it worth it.
Mama? You're not here.
You're still sleeping.
You're still in bed.
Just relax.
Just watch the red dot.
This is your boss.
Morgan is your boss.
Morgan is your boss.
Morgan is your boss.
Morgan is Lester's boss.
That's right.
You're happy that Morgan is your boss.
Wait.
This Morgan person is real? - This store you work in, it exists? Yeah, yeah.
Yes to both of those things, although I have quite often wondered if the Buy More was really an insane asylum, but yeah.
What is it? Uh.
That drink, I don't remember ordering it.
I It just kind of appeared out of nowhere.
And you drank it.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
It just tasted a little funny.
Yeah.
You look like you've been poisoned.
That's crazy.
Is something wrong? - I've just been poisoned.
Someone just poisoned me.
I think it was Hugo.
I tied him up in the cargo hold.
Somehow he escaped.
- What did it taste like? - Complex.
It had a strong nose with hints of apple, then a sour finish.
- He's right.
It's poison.
- You have to throw up.
- That's disgusting.
- Just do it right now.
Busy.
It's Hugo.
He is coming for me.
Sir, are you okay? Do you need any help? Sorry.
Mexican food.
You do not wanna come in here.
Scream and you're dead.
- Chuck? - I am so writing a letter to the airline - about this.
- Shut up.
There's only one antidote for that poison and I have it.
Now, right now, you're feeling queasy.
In an hour, you'll be in more pain than you could possibly imagine.
- Okay, fine.
What do you want? - The key.
Now.
What key? Oh! Oh, the key.
You have it.
I want it.
Give it to me.
And don't lie.
I'll kill you right here.
I have the key, but I don't have it on me.
I hid it down in the cargo hold.
Go on.
Oh, hi.
Isn't poisoning me enough? Now, where is the key? Antidote first.
- Is this your first mission? - Maybe.
You led my agent into a mission with two Ring operatives? - He's going to make it.
- How? Watch.
This is Blackbriar to Crystal Palace.
- Do you have me? Copy that.
I need to initiate an executive-office override.
Put Sentry Satellite into inverse orbit over Millennium Atlantic Flight 3923.
Standing by, 3923 uplink.
- What are you doing? We launched a satellite designed to take control of enemy fighters.
Surprisingly, the thing actually works.
You're a pilot, right? You're gonna take control of that plane? That's a 747.
I hope you're a quick learner, Captain Walker.
Call Chuck.
All right.
I work for the CIA.
Okay? And that's my boss.
I cannot give up the key without his authorization first.
Answer it.
On speaker.
Hi, guys.
If you're wondering, I'm doing just dandy.
Aside from being captured, poisoned and repeatedly socked in the gut.
I have your agent.
- Order him to give me the key.
- Who is this? I work for a third party, and my employer doesn't tolerate failure.
Now, your man Oh, Chuck.
Seat 2B.
Chuck here will be dead in an hour.
But I'm in a rush.
So he gives me the key - or I kill him now.
- Okay.
- Okay? - Did he say ? Did you just say? I think you meant to say, "Please don't kill my good friend Chuck.
" Before you shoot him, what type of poison are you using? I'm not bluffing.
This is a cyanide hybrid.
- Cyanide hybrid.
- You've used it before.
In Berlin.
- What? Serena.
You used that same poison to take out the Syrian ambassador.
And I know you work for The Ring.
How do you know this? Don't worry about that.
Do what I say.
Give my agent the antidote.
I'll let you and your gorilla slide.
Who are you? Serena, you can do this.
- Let him go.
- I can't.
You know my employer.
Your agent is alone and he's going to die.
No.
My people are never alone.
Now.
Disengaging yaw damper.
Inducing negative G's.
Good evening.
We've run into a patch of turbulence.
Please return to your seats right now.
You shot a gun on a plane! Are you crazy? - Sarah, level off the plane now! - Got it.
Hey.
I'm alive and I have the key.
Unfortunately, I did not get to use my nunchucks.
This is Blackbriar to Crystal Palace.
- Disable link on my mark.
Copy that.
Three, two, one, break.
Uplink terminated.
- Thank you, Palace.
Well, the flight crew will never even know we were there.
Just another day in the office.
I do everything I can to protect my people.
I lost one spy.
It was my fault.
And it will never happen again.
Why were you in Lisbon? I went to bury Bryce, my partner.
He wanted his ashes there.
Lisbon was our first mission.
I knew I wasn't supposed to leave but I promised him that I would take care of it, so I did.
If you want me out, just tell Beckman and she will reassign me.
Why would I do that? I need you.
I just had to be sure The Ring hadn't gotten to you.
And now do you believe me? Every word, Sarah.
Welcome to Paris, Charles de Gaulle.
So how are you feeling? I'm much better.
Thanks.
Sorry about the airsickness episode.
- It wasn't my finest hour.
- No, that's okay.
I'm gonna be here for a couple of days clearing things up.
I would love it if I could show off the Eiffel Tower to you.
What do you say? - Absolutely.
That would be amazing.
- Great.
- Hello? - Our Paris station has taken custody of the Ring operatives.
They send compliments.
- Fantastic.
Great news.
Another thing.
Stay on the plane.
I need that key back in Burbank ASAP.
Uh.
Yeah.
Really? I can't? Mission's over, Chuck.
Time to come home.
What is it? The install job I was gonna do here in Paris has been canceled so Buy More needs me back immediately.
I have to stay on the plane.
- But what about Paris? - Don't worry about it.
It's no big deal.
I'll get back here eventually.
And furthermore.
Hannah if you ever find yourself in Burbank, I don't know what the chances are but if you do find yourself in Burbank still without a job my assistant manager owes me about a million and a half favors.
Although I have to warn you, you will be terribly overqualified for the job.
- Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
It was a pleasure to meet you, Hannah.
It was great to meet you too, Chuck.
Bye.
Lester.
Dude what are we going to do? About Morgan and his new goon? - Morgan? - Yeah.
How are we going to get back at him? Morgan is the kindest, warmest, most understanding human being I've ever known in my life.
Wow, that is too cool.
- How did you do that? Don't ask.
Plausible deniability.
Plausible deniability.
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
Your key, sir.
Very good, Chuck.
Your first solo mission.
- I am impressed.
- Well, thank you.
But I would be dead if it wasn't for you guys.
All right.
Who wants to see if this key works? What is it? A weapon? No.
It's a lockbox.
Belonged to a spy I had inside The Ring.
It's all of the intel the agent had.
With this, we might stand a chance.
And one of our best didn't die in vain.
What's in the envelope, Shaw? She was killed by a Ring agent five years ago.
Her name was Evelyn Shaw.
Eve.
We both made the same mistake, Sarah.
We fell in love with spies.
What's with the looks? He gave me a raise.
Inflation.
See what happens when you go away for a two-day install? - Everything changes.
- I don't know.
Sometimes I think everything just stays the same.
But maybe that's just me.
Chuck, what happened on the install? Nothing, buddy.
Nothing at all.
Bored now.
This guy.