DAVE (2020) s03e05 Episode Script
The Storm
1
(GIGGLES)
(GIGGLES) Hi.
(GIGGLES, SQUEALS)
♪
White ♪
Oh, my God ♪
I'm a white guy ♪
I do what I like ♪
I get all the jobs ♪
Even if it's wrong and ♪
I'm just living life ♪
I do what I want ♪
Thank God I'm white in Amer-America ♪
Let me just, uh ♪
- Aw, damn, goddamn, white man ♪
- (SCREAMS)
Tippin' cups in the
strip club, no flip cup ♪
With a fit butt rubbin'
on my Nike zip-up ♪
No Whisenhunt, but
them bad bitches get cut ♪
Got to get up, so the dick tucked ♪
What the fuck you doing? ♪
CROWD (CHANTING): Dicky! Dicky! Dicky!
- Dicky! Dicky!
- (SCREAMS, LAUGHS)
DAVE: All right, Mississippi.
I need a female
participant onstage ASAP.
- Where is she? Where is she at?
- (CROWD CHEERING)
Oh, I see her right there. Yes, I do.
I see her.
And, uh, where am I going? I don't know.
Oh. And, uh
I love you, Lil Dicky,
over here! Over here!
You.
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- Yeah. Come on. Yeah.
- (SCREAMS, LAUGHS)
- Get up here.
Yeah. There she is.
(CROWD BOOING)
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How you doing?
- FAN: Get off the stage,
you fat fucking whore!
(CROWD BOOING, JEERING)
And to the republic,
for which it stands
- A nation.
- One nation,
- under God
- Invisible.
GATA: Yeah.
VATKA: The liberty of justice because.
GATA: Yeah. Kind of close, but,
- yeah.
- Baby, I want you to fuck me to these words.
Crazy, right?
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- Oh, Dave, it's her.
- Get up.
- She's here?
Hey. Hi. Yeah, come on in.
Thank you so much.
MEG: Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
Hi.
- I'm Dave.
- Hi.
Hi. (STAMMERS) I'm-I'm Meg. (LAUGHING)
I'm sorry, I'm just,
I'm such a huge fan.
You're, like, my favorite
rapper of all time. (LAUGHS)
Oh, shit. I'm like your Drake.
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Well, Meg, I just had to
look at you mano a mano
and tell you I'm so sorry about
- what happened tonight.
- Oh, oh, don't worry about it.
I-I mean, it's a Lil Dicky show, right?
- I get it.
- Oh. Well
We will make it up to you.
- Mike.
- Yeah?
- Let's get her a T-shirt.
- (MEG GASPS)
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What size?
- Yeah.
- Bring the whole box over so she can pick.
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We have a full service operation here,
and we designed all the clothes.
- Oh. Okay.
- MIKE: Check it out. Boom.
And a Lil Dicky
show is an experience,
and you had the wrong
experience tonight,
so you have to have
the right experience.
Like, what about coming to another show?
- Uh
- You want to come to Memphis?
- MEG: Memphis?
- DAVE: Backstage passes.
- Oh, my God. (LAUGHS)
- The whole kit and caboodle.
Oh, wow, um, that is so generous,
but, um, I don't have a car.
- Oh.
- So yeah.
- Well, we have a tour bus.
- It's full.
- It's (CLEARS THROAT) It's full, sadly.
- No.
- It's not full.
- No?
- DAVE: She's riding to Memphis with us.
- MIKE: Is she?
- DAVE: Yeah, she's my ride or die.
- Okay.
- DAVE: If she doesn't ride, we all die.
- Are you serious?
Yeah, we're gonna have
the time of our lives
traveling across
America. What do you say?
- Oh, my gosh, okay, yeah!
- DAVE: Yeah?
- All right. Yeah.
- (SCREAMS, LAUGHS)
It's gonna be so fun. You can't
shit on the bus, though, at all.
- Oh, okay.
- DAVE: Yeah.
- Uh, sure.
- It's not just you, it's everybody can't shit.
- I-I can hold it in. Great. (SQUEALS)
- Great.
Savior, like a shepherd ♪
(SQUEALS)
Much we need ♪
There she is.
- (SQUEALS) I cannot
- Welcome to the tour.
I-I-I cannot believe
y'all are even at my house.
- (LAUGHS)
- Oh, yeah.
- Wh-Why are y'all getting off?
- Oh, so
my DJ has this urgent Zoom
meeting that just came up,
and the rats ate our Wi-Fi thing, so
- I hate to intrude.
- Yeah.
Any way we can just
pop in for 20 minutes
just so he can do this? And
then we'll be on our way.
- Oh, uh, sure, no problem. Yeah.
- DAVE: Okay.
I mean, it's not very fancy.
Oh, no, it looks, uh, slice
of life, in a good way.
I don't even know. I think
she got cancer or something.
CLIFF: I'm-a go gas up.
Okay.
- I still live with my parents.
- Oh. That's cool.
Like, living with my parents
was my favorite part of life,
you know? It all starts with the birth.
Hey, Meg, what's the Wi-Fi?
Oh, uh, "I live for
him," one word, all caps.
Wow, you are a big fan.
Oh, no. "Him" is Jesus.
- Oh, sure.
- Yeah. Um, I'll set you up
- in Aaron's room right down the hall.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- Mm-hmm.
- GATA: Hey, Megabyte, where the bathroom at?
Oh, uh, right down that way.
- All right. Thank you.
- Yeah. Yeah.
You know, what I need
is a tour of the home.
You know? I got to
know what makes Meg Meg.
Uh, okay.
- Take me, my lady.
- Okay
my, um Well, here's the family room.
I used to know all this shit.
MEG: Uh, a lot of happy memories here.
- (HEAVY RAIN OUTSIDE)
- DAVE: Wow, it's it's starting to come down.
Check this out.
Aw, you got it.
- Yeah.
- Man, yeah.
Like, there were so many
rounds of notes with this thing
to make it not look albino.
'Cause it, like, looks
like an albino Black man.
You see what I'm saying?
Yeah. I-I think it looks just like you.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, I get all your stuff.
I-I think you are a satirical genius.
- (SIGHS) Thank you. I appreciate that.
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.
Like your song "White Guy,"
I totally get it. I see all the irony,
- all the layers. Yeah.
- Yes. Yes.
I love how y-you take these big ideas
and, and you subvert them
and y-you get the point across
through the humor in your music.
- Yes. Yeah.
- Yeah.
Ah, cool. I mean, yeah, like,
what-what are people like out here?
'Cause I, honestly,
I wasn't really vibing
with the crowd last night, to be honest.
Oh. Uh, why? 'Cause they hollered at me?
(SCOFFS) No, look,
those guys are B-holes, but
they got 'em everywhere, right?
I'd even say they were D-holes.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
Uh, he re, let me show you
a picture of my best friend.
She's crippled, but she
is so cool. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah. Cool. Yeah, she is, uh, crippled.
(MOANING)
I got a present for you.
You don't like?
Oh, no, it's-it's pretty dope.
(MOANING)
No, I mean, I love Wizard of Oz, too.
It's just kind of hard to watch now that
we know that Judy Garland
was being sexually assaulted
every day by the Oompa-Loompas.
Yeah, yeah, sure. Uh, the Munchkins.
- Oh, the Munchkins. Yeah, she was
- Yeah.
molested by the Munchkins.
I mean, they were
upskirting her, you know?
- Yeah.
- Anyways,
what are your wildest hopes
and dreams in life, Meg?
Well, um
I love to dance.
- (LAUGHS)
- You want to dance?
(LAUGHS) No, no.
There's-there's no music.
Huh? You said there's no music?
- (LAUGHS)
- Come on.
- Whoo!
- Hey!
Whoa.
♪
Oh, my God.
- I love that.
- (LAUGHS)
I, like, am in love
with this style of dance.
Yeah, uh (STAMMERS)
I actually had a-a.
TikTok channel with over 6,000 views.
Oh, send it to me, I-I'll tweet it.
Oh, um
My parents made me take it down,
- actually. Yeah.
- Oh, no. Why?
They banned secular dancing. (CHUCKLES)
They think it's unchristian.
No dancing 'cause of Christian?
But I-I-I'm not gonna be,
like, a professional dancer
or anything anyway, right? So who cares?
I don't know, I have to object to that.
Like, nowadays you
don't need to be born with,
like, an infinite amount of talent
to be a professional at a certain thing.
Like, if you have your own
style and your own pizzazz,
you can really make anything happen.
That just sucks 'cause I feel
like it should be your choice,
not theirs.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
Shoot, shoot.
What's going on?
I think the bus rat has
been gnawing on my phone.
I was gonna bring a
girl back to the bus,
and I was gonna bang-bang it out,
and then I just bailed
'cause of the rats.
I was like, she's gonna see rats.
- And rat shit, you know?
- EMMA: Sure, it was the rats.
MIKE: That is the reason. I
didn't want her to see rats
- and be grossed out.
- EMMA: How many people have you?
- I hook up
- (GASPS) Oh.
- Uh
- BOTH: Hi.
- MIKE: Uh
- What in the world?
- MIKE: Hello.
- Who are you people?
We're here with your daughter. Um
Girl who has the body and the
h all the head of hair.
- She's shorter.
- EMMA: She's
She has all the hair on
her head. There she is.
Mom, Dad, I thought
y'all were at the fair.
We had to turn around
'cause of the weather.
All of Mother's custards got spoiled.
Megan Ashley, I know you weren't
alone with a man in this house.
No, no, no. (STAMMERS)
It's not like that.
- No.
- SPENCER: For the life of me,
I do not understand
what is going on here.
So, we're friends with
Meg, and she actually
was just being kind enough
to let us use the Wi-Fi here on our way
- to
- Memphis.
- Memphis.
- We're headed to Memphis,
and we're just stopping over.
- We'll be out of here soon.
- DAVE: In and out.
- Y'all ain't going nowhere.
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
They closed the roads.
Hurricane.
DAVE: Oh.
MIKE: Hmm.
Well
CINDY: Don't worry,
y'all can stay here till it passes.
Ah
- Uh
- Megan Ashley,
will you just come and help your
grandmother? She's drenched.
So, um
We have to stay
Richard?
- What's that?
- Richard.
Oh, no, you're confused.
I'm Michael. Michael.
So, I-I've just been
considering this beautiful offer,
but we have, like, all the wheel drive.
- Oh, yeah.
- Bus driver's coming. We're gonna cruise
- through it. We are
- Vroom. We'll be out.
No.
I wouldn't get caught in the storm.
Got stuck out there a few weeks back
with the boys at our meeting.
Wasn't pretty.
- A meeting with the boys?
- Uh
(LAUGHS) And there's more.
Uh, this is my friend Gata,
short for alligator, and.
Vatka, which is not short for anything.
She's just Trans-Siberian.
- Not to be confused with transsexual.
- Uh
- Transgender.
- Eh.
And there is another guy
in another room as well.
- He's tan.
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
Well, can you Can't you
just, like, drive through it?
Cliff is stuck at an AmPm.
Dude, why can't we just Uber?
Because, dude, it's crazy outside.
What are you talking about?
Cliff.
All right, well, just, just stay safe,
and then we'll see you soon, huh?
What are you looking at, baby?
Relax, read the room.
It's not time for that.
These people are insanely conservative.
DAVE: Yeah, no shit. We're, like,
in the absolute belly of the
beast right now, everybody.
Take note and heed, okay?
There are some outdated principles
being adhered to in this household.
Okay, but they're
putting us up, all right?
So, that's a good belief.
And I appreciate that,
but I am thinking about
our dear, sweet Meg, who
we've already put through hell,
mind you, okay? She's got to deal
- with this whole shit on a day-to-day level?
- MIKE: Oh.
All she wants to do in life is dance.
That's what makes her happy.
That's what fills her soul.
And her parents ban it
because it's "unchristian."
Didn't your parents tell
you not to be a rapper, bro?
Not for religious reasons.
Like, that was just because
they were being practical
and logical as far as, like,
planning my future, and
I-I understand, like,
logic and practicality
are Jewish traits,
- though, but
- MIKE: Very.
You know, I-I-I might
just have a word with
- her parents and
- Bro, please do not say anything that
gets us kicked out of this
house during a fucking hurricane.
My mom
says that we cannot continue to sit back
and let people ruin the societal fabric
of our country just because
they were "raised differently."
- Like, we're past that point.
- GATA: If anybody
should be uncomfortable,
it should be the Blacks.
I don't like the way
that dude looked at me.
Hey. Jew to Black, we're
in the same boat here.
We're in Mississippi, we're
both kind of, you know, not
- GATA: Same boat? You not in the same boat as me.
- What?
Y'all ain't go through no slavery.
- Have you ever heard of the Holocaust?
- Oh
That's not slavery.
It's not slavery? What do you mean?
They enslaved the Jews and then
starved them to the point of wither,
- right?
- Mm.
I mean, both things are terrible,
but at least with slavery the
aim was not to exterminate.
The aim was to keep everybody alive
so output could be, like, at a max.
- MIKE: Oh, my God. - Output?
- DAVE: It's true, it's true.
They were producing
bushels of, like, wheat
- and cotton.
- Cotton, you fucking asshole.
Then, like, the whole economy,
the GDP, everything was on the line.
The Holocaust, they were just, like,
bringing in the Jews, thinning them,
and then cutting their
heads off with gas.
MIKE: Okay, and here
we are being the lazy,
liberal assholes they think we are.
We should be out there helping them,
boarding up the windows,
or whatever the fuck
you do, and also, don't say a word
to her parents about dancing.
Don't.
- Don't.
- This is the last thing
I'm gonna say about the Holocaust.
- (MIKE GROANS)
- Oh, my God
DAVE: Back when it was happening,
a lot of people didn't speak up,
and then, when the Nazis
came for those people,
- there was nobody left to speak up for them.
- (MIKE SIGHS)
- I learned that in Hebrew school.
- Mm.
I'm not gonna have
Meg be fucked that way.
- Don't be stupid.
- Look, they're not
gonna be able to argue with the logic
that I'm gonna come with.
No one can argue with logic.
- (LOUD BANG)
- (THUNDER CRACKS)
(MURMURING)
- We got to get the fuck out of here.
- Fuck.
Do you wanna make knife
and fork duos with me?
God says I'm foolhardy and tarnished.
What was that?
He hates me when I weep.
Okay.
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
- Oh.
Dadgum storm turned right for us.
Aaron needs to take care
of that dead tree that
blew into the shed.
Well, I'll tell him.
(SPENCER SIGHS)
So, you're a-a musical performer?
That's right.
Is it Christian music?
Uh
If you count Jewish as Christian.
Um, which
I don't know why you would,
unless you were thinking about
how Jesus was Jewish, right?
Uh, but if you don't think that way, no.
Um, I'm actually a rapper.
But, like, with a totally
a positive message.
Well, we prefer God's message.
- Yeah? Um
- CINDY: Mm.
And I hear that fully. Um
I do think God would totally gel
with my message, for what it's worth.
You don't have to share our values
- to share our table.
- Mm.
To play devil's advocate,
not that he needs one,
this is kind of what's
wrong with America, you know?
We don't really know each
other. You don't know my values.
Maybe we have more in
common than you might think.
I am so sorry.
- (CHUCKLES): Okay.
- (CHUCKLES)
Why don't you tell me what they are?
Uh
Mom, what are our values?
CAROL (OVER PHONE): Our values?
Yeah, like, I'm in
Mississippi right now,
and I think I'm with
some people that you said
are, like, the bad part of America.
Oh, God, David, are they armed?
No. Well, I don't know, probably, but,
like, I mean, I'm trying to
remember what I learned about
nature versus nurture. It's just, like,
they say they get their word from Jesus.
- And I don't know what, like, station this is.
- (THUNDER RUMBLES LOUDLY)
God damn it, I love you, brother.
I'll see you on the other
side of that mountain.
Talking to, um, my cousin.
I need you.
You need me?
Come on.
(THUNDER CRACKS)
You know, no one ever says
"things are going north"
when they're going well. Only
south when they're going poorly.
In the name of things going poorly,
I think the little girl is a demon.
- No.
- Bro, she's a kid.
MIKE: You know when rappers
say "demon time"? What is that?
EMMA: I thought it was
when people fuck late-night
and they don't want to
tell anyone about it.
ELZ: No, that's called a "sneaky wink."
MIKE: God, there's so many terms
- I just don't understand or know.
- EMMA: Sneak
- (WHISPERS): Dude.
- What?
- MIKE: I don't know
- Hey, hey.
What?
What?
ELZ: I can see her pussy.
- MIKE (WHISPERS): Shut up.
- Can't you?
(TELEVISION PLAYING SOFTLY)
Oh. Is that
Is that her p Is that
her puss That's her pussy?
- ELZ: That's her pussy.
- What do we do?
Oh. Wait.
Come here, buddy. What is he doing?
- Now, why would she?
- He's licking her feet.
(SOFT LAPPING)
- Oh
- My God.
That's disgusting.
Um
Why can't I st I keep looking at it.
- EMMA: Don't look.
- Well
- ELZ: I can't look.
- MIKE: Let's just go to another room.
Let's just go to another
room. Quietly, quietly.
- Okay.
- (SHUSHES)
(CHAIR SCRAPES)
(SHUSHES)
Oh, my God.
(SOFT TICKING)
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
We can't have twigs and
branches flying around,
crashing into the house, can we?
I guess not, no.
Oh, a saw. Cool.
It's like a horror movie out here.
Did you ever see Saw?
Nah. I hate the playground.
They used to call me Monkey Bar.
They used to call me Bic.
'Cause I used to Bic my
dick with my dad's razor.
I don't know.
What are your intentions with Meg?
Pure. Christlike.
She's just a fan.
Yeah, and y'all rappers
don't fuck fans, right?
- I mean, s-sometime I
- What?
Is she too fat?
No.
I love fat.
I'm just fucking with you.
- Okay.
- I wouldn't fuck her either.
Well, she's your sister, so
(ENGINE REVS)
It's a Category 3.
GATA: Hey, Ryan, man,
congrats on getting that
submarine license, bro.
Let me know how it is down there,
Finding Nemo and all that.
GD all day. Salute.
Oh, this is a good one. I
used to smoke cigarettes.
Hey, yo, Alan and Christine,
I heard y'all quit that nicotine.
That's what's up, my G, GD all day.
- Salute.
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
I've seen the devil.
Stared him square in the eyes.
Felt the heat off his face.
- Okay.
- I will protect
this family with my life,
protect Meg, even from herself.
Do you understand me, boy?
I-I think I do. I don't
understand what's happening now.
Are we just cutting this
side of the tree, or?
GATA: Got another one?
Hey, Xander, I heard you
got fired on your day off
for stealing cardboard boxes.
- That's what's up, bruh.
- (PANTING)
Keep doing your thing, G.
You see me now, motherfucker?
- What the fuck, man?
- Hmm?
- Do you see me?
- You tripping.
- No, do you see
- Calm down!
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
- (CRYING)
- Why the fuck you throw my phone like that, man?
Gata.
Go get her, bro. What are you doing?
Bro, I'm not chasing
that type of energy, man.
Why do you always do this shit, Gata?
Do what? I was doing Cameos.
Trying to get some money.
- (CRYING)
- AARON: "For these enemies of mine,
"who do not want me to reign over them,
- bring them here"
- (CHAIN SAW REVS)
" and I shall slaughter
them before you."
- Uh
- Corinthians 6:14.
"Be ye not unequally yoked
together with unbelievers"
(MECHANICAL CLICK)
(WHISPERS): Jesus,
save me.
Okay. I think the power went out, dude.
Yeah, I think so.
(THUNDER CRASHES)
- Let us pray.
- Oh.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Heavenly Father,
thank you for this nourishment
and shelter from this mighty storm.
Thank you for this bounty we
are able to share with our guests.
Please watch over them and protect them
- on their journey.
- Amen.
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- (WHISPERS): Not yet.
Blessed Savior,
we ask for your light,
that it may guide our Megan
toward more righteous pursuits.
We see the devil's temptation,
and we know he is here, at large.
In the name of Christ we pray.
- Amen.
- ALL: Amen.
CINDY: Gata, will your foreign
woman be joining us for supper?
Oh, no, ma'am.
Vatka's all right. She's
not gonna be here tonight.
CINDY: Well, we can
make her a little plate.
I'd rather not.
You know, one thing I've
been thinking about all day
and this might be a little
difficult to talk about
but what is unchristian about dancing?
MIKE (SOFTLY): Oh, God. Dave, come on.
It's not difficult to
discuss at all, David.
The truth about modern dance
is that it can create lust
and lead to temptation.
- Mm-hmm.
- DAVE: 'Cause of
y-you mean you're thinking
about twerking and stuff?
Richard?
What? Oh. Oh
Oh, no, it's Michael.
Remember? Michael. Richard's dead.
I just think it's more or
less how she expresses herself,
and expressing yourself today
might look a little different
than expressing yourself looked
when you were her age, you know?
- Dave
- The girl filmed herself doing splits
- over a plastic snake head.
- Dad.
- Snake head?
- CINDY: Gracelyn, sweetie.
Here. Why don't you take
your plate to your room?
GRACE: Yes, Ma.
- No, she th-the girl
- Can you chill out?
- DAVE: She doesn't have to
- (SHUSHING)
Sorry.
MIKE: Just eat your food.
Well, now that the child's gone,
we can really dive into it, no?
Like, sexuality. Let's just
talk about it real quick.
What is evil about sexuality?
Because for Gen Z, sexuality, like,
flaunting how you move and gyrate
is just as commonplace as,
like, combing your hair was
for you back in the '40s
or whatever, you know?
- MEG (LAUGHS): Um
- It's, like, a different time,
- and we have to
- Rampant lust leads to emptiness
and desperation.
You become trapped in
a cycle of pleasure,
and you start to lose your soul.
- Mm-hmm.
- Your soul?
EMMA: Jesus was pretty clear
about not judging sexuality.
I mean, he hung out with prostitutes.
And that's a Christian woman. Formerly.
Who still might, uh,
prescribe to some
You know, even my parents, for example,
used to look at Kim Kardashian
like a DIY porno slut,
but now they're able to see, "Oh,
"she's gotten her, like, law degree.
She frees incarcerated Blacks."
It's like, things evolve, times change,
and I just think, like,
keeping an open mind
to the present day is pretty essential.
To say that's baloney would
be an insult to cold meats.
(SOFT LAUGHTER)
I know you libtards care more
about criminals than unborn babies.
Aaron.
You said "libtard"?
'Cause we don't say "tard" today.
Please don't tell me
what to say in my own home
and I won't tell you
what to say in yours.
I-I'm just saying,
living your whole life
on a philosophy that's
based off of a book
that was written tens of
thousands of years ago,
like, I don't know, we've
just learned way too many facts
since then to still be
adhering to those rules.
And to hold poor, sweet
Meg to those standards,
- like, she doesn't even believe in that.
- Hey!
Don't you dare say that.
- Oh.
- And don't talk to my parents that way.
I'm sorry, Meg, but no
one's gonna defend you,
and I'm trying, and it's just
like, the way that you guys
are living is not
necessarily more righteous
- than the way that we're
- What?
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
GATA: Oh, I got it.
Think that's me.
DAVE: Wh-What?
(DOOR OPENS)
- Hey, what's up?
- GRACIELA: Hey. How are you?
I can't believe you made it
out here with this weather.
- I know, this shit is crazy.
- GATA: Man, you looking hella good, too.
Damn. I can't believe
you came like that.
- Is that Vatka?
- Seriously.
- (KISSING)
- Man, I'm so happy to see you.
- (GRACIELA MUTTERS)
- Hey, thank you for the food,
but, um, I got to catch up
with y'all in the morning.
Gata, who is that?
Oh, this is Graciela, you
know. Cliff, he hella pussy.
She got a four-cylinder SUV,
- still came to kick it with me.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm-a be outside in
her car in the front.
That's my dawg. Gata, bro,
he had two bitches
pull up in a hurricane.
What is this fucking bitch?
- What?
- Who the fuck is that?
GATA: Let's just be cool, yo. Um
- I put you on my skin.
- Hey, let's just be Come on.
- You slut. (SCREAMS)
- Oh!
- Uh
- VATKA: Slut.
- Are you fucking?
- Calm down.
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
- (GASPS)
- Prevent it. Prevent it. Prevent it.
- Elz, do something, Elz.
- ELZ: Bro, what?
- Do something. Anything.
- What am I gonna?
MIKE: Help them Get her up.
- Get her off the floor.
- (PANTING)
GRACIELA: You're defending her?
- Really? That's-that's great.
- (DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
ELZ: Gata, man, what the fuck, bro?
DAVE: Meg.
- Meg?
- MEG: Not now, Dave.
I am so sorry about all of that.
MIKE: What the fuck
are you thinking, Gata?
DAVE: Yeah, what is your deal,
man? How many girls do you need
to come at one fucking time,
Gata, to another person's house?
This can't happen over and over again.
- MIKE: You need fucking help.
- Why would you do this?
You're a sex addict.
Get your shit together.
You know what? I am, bro.
What you want me to say?
You don't think I know
that about myself already?
You know how crazy in the head I am?
I got to text a bitch every night
just because I can't stand being alone.
You know how bad that feel?
What y'all want me to do?
- Okay
- Tell me. You a Christian.
It's okay. Okay?
It's all okay. Just share your pain.
What you want to know? You
want to know the last time
that I was with a girl?
Committed to her?
She left me and had an abortion.
You know what that shit did to me?
Broke my fucking heart!
He wants you to love yourself
just as much as He loves you.
He will never abandon you.
Why wouldn't He?
Everybody else did already.
I never knew my mom, never knew my dad.
How's somebody gonna tell me what to do?
Gata, what do you mean
you don't know your mom?
- I've met your mom. She's
- Nobody met my real mom.
She left me, man.
She chose drugs, man.
(CRYING): Like, what y'all
want me to say? Like
Why should I trust a woman?
Why should I love a woman?
My mom didn't love me my whole life.
How y'all gonna tell me something
to make me feel bad,
make me want to change?
Like (SCOFFS)
I was raised by Michael
Jordan, man, like
The Simpsons, dawg.
Shit like that, bro.
- You know how that feel, dawg?
- CINDY: You are God's son.
Can we pray for you?
Yeah, man.
(SOFTLY): Okay.
Dear Lord, we pray for our friend,
and ask that You help him
through the struggles he's facing.
Please let this young man know
that he is worthy of Your love.
- I love you, man.
- Okay.
(CRYING)
- Hey. Here
- GATA: Thank you.
DAVE: Hey, Meg, I'm so sorry about
- all the craziness tonight.
- (PHONE WHOOSHES)
And I'm really sorry
that we didn't really get
to hang out how we planned to.
I don't know if you want to
come to another show at, like,
a later date, but I-I would love that.
(PHONE WHOOSHES)
Most importantly, I am so sorry
for bringing up the dancing.
I was just trying to
I don't know.
Sorry again.
(PHONE WHOOSHES)
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(EXHALES)
♪
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Savior ♪
Like a shepherd, lead us ♪
Much we need Thy tender care ♪
In Thy pleasant pastures feed us ♪
- Hi.
- Hey.
Um, I didn't respond yesterday
'cause I just needed a minute.
- You know?
- Absolutely.
- And I-I need to, like, really explain
- Um
and apologize No?
Yeah.
(SIGHS) Look, Dave, uh (CHUCKLES)
I really want to be mad at you
for making all these assumptions
- about me and my family.
- Yeah.
But, you know, I realize
that, even though I'm this
big Lil Dicky superfan,
I-I don't really know you either.
You do know me. You do.
Like, I am the guy that you love
in the music. I'm that same guy.
I'm not the asshole
that you saw last night.
Oh, no, I-I know you
were just trying to help,
but I don't need you to save me, Dave.
I'm already saved.
Sure.
I-I'm not religious, so
it's, like, hard for me
to, like, fully, you know, but
- Mm.
- Here's what I'll tell you, is
only when I started doing,
like, exactly what I love to do
in life did I feel any
semblance of spirit.
And my parents were, like, so anti.
They had a whole intervention
saying, "Don't do this, Dave."
Pretty much everybody in my whole life
was kind of making assumptions about me
and why I shouldn't go for it.
Oh, wow.
(LAUGHS): Well
I'm really happy you
didn't listen to 'em.
Me, too.
Mm.
Um, I can't give you
a goodbye hug right now
'cause they're all still watching.
- Oh. Okay.
- But, um
I'm gonna give you a mind hug, okay?
A mind hug?
- Oh.
- Mm.
- Aw.
- Do you feel it?
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)
- Yeah, I do feel it.
It's very warm.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay.
EMMA: Bye, Meg.
Bye. Bye, Emma.
- Thanks, big dawg.
- Oh, bye, Elz.
- Bye, Megan.
- Bye, Mike.
- Bye, Meg.
- Bye, Gata.
- Bye, Dave.
- Bye, Meg.
- Hey, Dave.
- Oh.
Sorry. Um (CLEARS THROAT)
I just wanted to say that, um,
I listened to some of your music,
and I don't normally like
rap, but I loved your shit.
(EXHALES) Cool, man. Thank you.
Yeah. It's just fucking cool
to hear someone who's proud to be white.
You know?
- Uh
- Like that song "White Guy."
That song slaps, dude.
(CHUCKLES) Well
You know, I think you
might be misinterpreting,
like, the premise of
the song. It's kind of, uh
Nah, nah, nah. I get
it, I get it, I get it.
Just know that me and the boys
are gonna be bumping it all summer.
Anyway stay blessed, brother.
♪
♪
(GIGGLES)
(GIGGLES) Hi.
(GIGGLES, SQUEALS)
♪
White ♪
Oh, my God ♪
I'm a white guy ♪
I do what I like ♪
I get all the jobs ♪
Even if it's wrong and ♪
I'm just living life ♪
I do what I want ♪
Thank God I'm white in Amer-America ♪
Let me just, uh ♪
- Aw, damn, goddamn, white man ♪
- (SCREAMS)
Tippin' cups in the
strip club, no flip cup ♪
With a fit butt rubbin'
on my Nike zip-up ♪
No Whisenhunt, but
them bad bitches get cut ♪
Got to get up, so the dick tucked ♪
What the fuck you doing? ♪
CROWD (CHANTING): Dicky! Dicky! Dicky!
- Dicky! Dicky!
- (SCREAMS, LAUGHS)
DAVE: All right, Mississippi.
I need a female
participant onstage ASAP.
- Where is she? Where is she at?
- (CROWD CHEERING)
Oh, I see her right there. Yes, I do.
I see her.
And, uh, where am I going? I don't know.
Oh. And, uh
I love you, Lil Dicky,
over here! Over here!
You.
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- Yeah. Come on. Yeah.
- (SCREAMS, LAUGHS)
- Get up here.
Yeah. There she is.
(CROWD BOOING)
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How you doing?
- FAN: Get off the stage,
you fat fucking whore!
(CROWD BOOING, JEERING)
And to the republic,
for which it stands
- A nation.
- One nation,
- under God
- Invisible.
GATA: Yeah.
VATKA: The liberty of justice because.
GATA: Yeah. Kind of close, but,
- yeah.
- Baby, I want you to fuck me to these words.
Crazy, right?
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- Oh, Dave, it's her.
- Get up.
- She's here?
Hey. Hi. Yeah, come on in.
Thank you so much.
MEG: Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
Hi.
- I'm Dave.
- Hi.
Hi. (STAMMERS) I'm-I'm Meg. (LAUGHING)
I'm sorry, I'm just,
I'm such a huge fan.
You're, like, my favorite
rapper of all time. (LAUGHS)
Oh, shit. I'm like your Drake.
- Yeah.
- Cool.
Well, Meg, I just had to
look at you mano a mano
and tell you I'm so sorry about
- what happened tonight.
- Oh, oh, don't worry about it.
I-I mean, it's a Lil Dicky show, right?
- I get it.
- Oh. Well
We will make it up to you.
- Mike.
- Yeah?
- Let's get her a T-shirt.
- (MEG GASPS)
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What size?
- Yeah.
- Bring the whole box over so she can pick.
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We have a full service operation here,
and we designed all the clothes.
- Oh. Okay.
- MIKE: Check it out. Boom.
And a Lil Dicky
show is an experience,
and you had the wrong
experience tonight,
so you have to have
the right experience.
Like, what about coming to another show?
- Uh
- You want to come to Memphis?
- MEG: Memphis?
- DAVE: Backstage passes.
- Oh, my God. (LAUGHS)
- The whole kit and caboodle.
Oh, wow, um, that is so generous,
but, um, I don't have a car.
- Oh.
- So yeah.
- Well, we have a tour bus.
- It's full.
- It's (CLEARS THROAT) It's full, sadly.
- No.
- It's not full.
- No?
- DAVE: She's riding to Memphis with us.
- MIKE: Is she?
- DAVE: Yeah, she's my ride or die.
- Okay.
- DAVE: If she doesn't ride, we all die.
- Are you serious?
Yeah, we're gonna have
the time of our lives
traveling across
America. What do you say?
- Oh, my gosh, okay, yeah!
- DAVE: Yeah?
- All right. Yeah.
- (SCREAMS, LAUGHS)
It's gonna be so fun. You can't
shit on the bus, though, at all.
- Oh, okay.
- DAVE: Yeah.
- Uh, sure.
- It's not just you, it's everybody can't shit.
- I-I can hold it in. Great. (SQUEALS)
- Great.
Savior, like a shepherd ♪
(SQUEALS)
Much we need ♪
There she is.
- (SQUEALS) I cannot
- Welcome to the tour.
I-I-I cannot believe
y'all are even at my house.
- (LAUGHS)
- Oh, yeah.
- Wh-Why are y'all getting off?
- Oh, so
my DJ has this urgent Zoom
meeting that just came up,
and the rats ate our Wi-Fi thing, so
- I hate to intrude.
- Yeah.
Any way we can just
pop in for 20 minutes
just so he can do this? And
then we'll be on our way.
- Oh, uh, sure, no problem. Yeah.
- DAVE: Okay.
I mean, it's not very fancy.
Oh, no, it looks, uh, slice
of life, in a good way.
I don't even know. I think
she got cancer or something.
CLIFF: I'm-a go gas up.
Okay.
- I still live with my parents.
- Oh. That's cool.
Like, living with my parents
was my favorite part of life,
you know? It all starts with the birth.
Hey, Meg, what's the Wi-Fi?
Oh, uh, "I live for
him," one word, all caps.
Wow, you are a big fan.
Oh, no. "Him" is Jesus.
- Oh, sure.
- Yeah. Um, I'll set you up
- in Aaron's room right down the hall.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- Mm-hmm.
- GATA: Hey, Megabyte, where the bathroom at?
Oh, uh, right down that way.
- All right. Thank you.
- Yeah. Yeah.
You know, what I need
is a tour of the home.
You know? I got to
know what makes Meg Meg.
Uh, okay.
- Take me, my lady.
- Okay
my, um Well, here's the family room.
I used to know all this shit.
MEG: Uh, a lot of happy memories here.
- (HEAVY RAIN OUTSIDE)
- DAVE: Wow, it's it's starting to come down.
Check this out.
Aw, you got it.
- Yeah.
- Man, yeah.
Like, there were so many
rounds of notes with this thing
to make it not look albino.
'Cause it, like, looks
like an albino Black man.
You see what I'm saying?
Yeah. I-I think it looks just like you.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, I get all your stuff.
I-I think you are a satirical genius.
- (SIGHS) Thank you. I appreciate that.
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.
Like your song "White Guy,"
I totally get it. I see all the irony,
- all the layers. Yeah.
- Yes. Yes.
I love how y-you take these big ideas
and, and you subvert them
and y-you get the point across
through the humor in your music.
- Yes. Yeah.
- Yeah.
Ah, cool. I mean, yeah, like,
what-what are people like out here?
'Cause I, honestly,
I wasn't really vibing
with the crowd last night, to be honest.
Oh. Uh, why? 'Cause they hollered at me?
(SCOFFS) No, look,
those guys are B-holes, but
they got 'em everywhere, right?
I'd even say they were D-holes.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
Uh, he re, let me show you
a picture of my best friend.
She's crippled, but she
is so cool. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah. Cool. Yeah, she is, uh, crippled.
(MOANING)
I got a present for you.
You don't like?
Oh, no, it's-it's pretty dope.
(MOANING)
No, I mean, I love Wizard of Oz, too.
It's just kind of hard to watch now that
we know that Judy Garland
was being sexually assaulted
every day by the Oompa-Loompas.
Yeah, yeah, sure. Uh, the Munchkins.
- Oh, the Munchkins. Yeah, she was
- Yeah.
molested by the Munchkins.
I mean, they were
upskirting her, you know?
- Yeah.
- Anyways,
what are your wildest hopes
and dreams in life, Meg?
Well, um
I love to dance.
- (LAUGHS)
- You want to dance?
(LAUGHS) No, no.
There's-there's no music.
Huh? You said there's no music?
- (LAUGHS)
- Come on.
- Whoo!
- Hey!
Whoa.
♪
Oh, my God.
- I love that.
- (LAUGHS)
I, like, am in love
with this style of dance.
Yeah, uh (STAMMERS)
I actually had a-a.
TikTok channel with over 6,000 views.
Oh, send it to me, I-I'll tweet it.
Oh, um
My parents made me take it down,
- actually. Yeah.
- Oh, no. Why?
They banned secular dancing. (CHUCKLES)
They think it's unchristian.
No dancing 'cause of Christian?
But I-I-I'm not gonna be,
like, a professional dancer
or anything anyway, right? So who cares?
I don't know, I have to object to that.
Like, nowadays you
don't need to be born with,
like, an infinite amount of talent
to be a professional at a certain thing.
Like, if you have your own
style and your own pizzazz,
you can really make anything happen.
That just sucks 'cause I feel
like it should be your choice,
not theirs.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
Shoot, shoot.
What's going on?
I think the bus rat has
been gnawing on my phone.
I was gonna bring a
girl back to the bus,
and I was gonna bang-bang it out,
and then I just bailed
'cause of the rats.
I was like, she's gonna see rats.
- And rat shit, you know?
- EMMA: Sure, it was the rats.
MIKE: That is the reason. I
didn't want her to see rats
- and be grossed out.
- EMMA: How many people have you?
- I hook up
- (GASPS) Oh.
- Uh
- BOTH: Hi.
- MIKE: Uh
- What in the world?
- MIKE: Hello.
- Who are you people?
We're here with your daughter. Um
Girl who has the body and the
h all the head of hair.
- She's shorter.
- EMMA: She's
She has all the hair on
her head. There she is.
Mom, Dad, I thought
y'all were at the fair.
We had to turn around
'cause of the weather.
All of Mother's custards got spoiled.
Megan Ashley, I know you weren't
alone with a man in this house.
No, no, no. (STAMMERS)
It's not like that.
- No.
- SPENCER: For the life of me,
I do not understand
what is going on here.
So, we're friends with
Meg, and she actually
was just being kind enough
to let us use the Wi-Fi here on our way
- to
- Memphis.
- Memphis.
- We're headed to Memphis,
and we're just stopping over.
- We'll be out of here soon.
- DAVE: In and out.
- Y'all ain't going nowhere.
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
They closed the roads.
Hurricane.
DAVE: Oh.
MIKE: Hmm.
Well
CINDY: Don't worry,
y'all can stay here till it passes.
Ah
- Uh
- Megan Ashley,
will you just come and help your
grandmother? She's drenched.
So, um
We have to stay
Richard?
- What's that?
- Richard.
Oh, no, you're confused.
I'm Michael. Michael.
So, I-I've just been
considering this beautiful offer,
but we have, like, all the wheel drive.
- Oh, yeah.
- Bus driver's coming. We're gonna cruise
- through it. We are
- Vroom. We'll be out.
No.
I wouldn't get caught in the storm.
Got stuck out there a few weeks back
with the boys at our meeting.
Wasn't pretty.
- A meeting with the boys?
- Uh
(LAUGHS) And there's more.
Uh, this is my friend Gata,
short for alligator, and.
Vatka, which is not short for anything.
She's just Trans-Siberian.
- Not to be confused with transsexual.
- Uh
- Transgender.
- Eh.
And there is another guy
in another room as well.
- He's tan.
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
Well, can you Can't you
just, like, drive through it?
Cliff is stuck at an AmPm.
Dude, why can't we just Uber?
Because, dude, it's crazy outside.
What are you talking about?
Cliff.
All right, well, just, just stay safe,
and then we'll see you soon, huh?
What are you looking at, baby?
Relax, read the room.
It's not time for that.
These people are insanely conservative.
DAVE: Yeah, no shit. We're, like,
in the absolute belly of the
beast right now, everybody.
Take note and heed, okay?
There are some outdated principles
being adhered to in this household.
Okay, but they're
putting us up, all right?
So, that's a good belief.
And I appreciate that,
but I am thinking about
our dear, sweet Meg, who
we've already put through hell,
mind you, okay? She's got to deal
- with this whole shit on a day-to-day level?
- MIKE: Oh.
All she wants to do in life is dance.
That's what makes her happy.
That's what fills her soul.
And her parents ban it
because it's "unchristian."
Didn't your parents tell
you not to be a rapper, bro?
Not for religious reasons.
Like, that was just because
they were being practical
and logical as far as, like,
planning my future, and
I-I understand, like,
logic and practicality
are Jewish traits,
- though, but
- MIKE: Very.
You know, I-I-I might
just have a word with
- her parents and
- Bro, please do not say anything that
gets us kicked out of this
house during a fucking hurricane.
My mom
says that we cannot continue to sit back
and let people ruin the societal fabric
of our country just because
they were "raised differently."
- Like, we're past that point.
- GATA: If anybody
should be uncomfortable,
it should be the Blacks.
I don't like the way
that dude looked at me.
Hey. Jew to Black, we're
in the same boat here.
We're in Mississippi, we're
both kind of, you know, not
- GATA: Same boat? You not in the same boat as me.
- What?
Y'all ain't go through no slavery.
- Have you ever heard of the Holocaust?
- Oh
That's not slavery.
It's not slavery? What do you mean?
They enslaved the Jews and then
starved them to the point of wither,
- right?
- Mm.
I mean, both things are terrible,
but at least with slavery the
aim was not to exterminate.
The aim was to keep everybody alive
so output could be, like, at a max.
- MIKE: Oh, my God. - Output?
- DAVE: It's true, it's true.
They were producing
bushels of, like, wheat
- and cotton.
- Cotton, you fucking asshole.
Then, like, the whole economy,
the GDP, everything was on the line.
The Holocaust, they were just, like,
bringing in the Jews, thinning them,
and then cutting their
heads off with gas.
MIKE: Okay, and here
we are being the lazy,
liberal assholes they think we are.
We should be out there helping them,
boarding up the windows,
or whatever the fuck
you do, and also, don't say a word
to her parents about dancing.
Don't.
- Don't.
- This is the last thing
I'm gonna say about the Holocaust.
- (MIKE GROANS)
- Oh, my God
DAVE: Back when it was happening,
a lot of people didn't speak up,
and then, when the Nazis
came for those people,
- there was nobody left to speak up for them.
- (MIKE SIGHS)
- I learned that in Hebrew school.
- Mm.
I'm not gonna have
Meg be fucked that way.
- Don't be stupid.
- Look, they're not
gonna be able to argue with the logic
that I'm gonna come with.
No one can argue with logic.
- (LOUD BANG)
- (THUNDER CRACKS)
(MURMURING)
- We got to get the fuck out of here.
- Fuck.
Do you wanna make knife
and fork duos with me?
God says I'm foolhardy and tarnished.
What was that?
He hates me when I weep.
Okay.
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
- Oh.
Dadgum storm turned right for us.
Aaron needs to take care
of that dead tree that
blew into the shed.
Well, I'll tell him.
(SPENCER SIGHS)
So, you're a-a musical performer?
That's right.
Is it Christian music?
Uh
If you count Jewish as Christian.
Um, which
I don't know why you would,
unless you were thinking about
how Jesus was Jewish, right?
Uh, but if you don't think that way, no.
Um, I'm actually a rapper.
But, like, with a totally
a positive message.
Well, we prefer God's message.
- Yeah? Um
- CINDY: Mm.
And I hear that fully. Um
I do think God would totally gel
with my message, for what it's worth.
You don't have to share our values
- to share our table.
- Mm.
To play devil's advocate,
not that he needs one,
this is kind of what's
wrong with America, you know?
We don't really know each
other. You don't know my values.
Maybe we have more in
common than you might think.
I am so sorry.
- (CHUCKLES): Okay.
- (CHUCKLES)
Why don't you tell me what they are?
Uh
Mom, what are our values?
CAROL (OVER PHONE): Our values?
Yeah, like, I'm in
Mississippi right now,
and I think I'm with
some people that you said
are, like, the bad part of America.
Oh, God, David, are they armed?
No. Well, I don't know, probably, but,
like, I mean, I'm trying to
remember what I learned about
nature versus nurture. It's just, like,
they say they get their word from Jesus.
- And I don't know what, like, station this is.
- (THUNDER RUMBLES LOUDLY)
God damn it, I love you, brother.
I'll see you on the other
side of that mountain.
Talking to, um, my cousin.
I need you.
You need me?
Come on.
(THUNDER CRACKS)
You know, no one ever says
"things are going north"
when they're going well. Only
south when they're going poorly.
In the name of things going poorly,
I think the little girl is a demon.
- No.
- Bro, she's a kid.
MIKE: You know when rappers
say "demon time"? What is that?
EMMA: I thought it was
when people fuck late-night
and they don't want to
tell anyone about it.
ELZ: No, that's called a "sneaky wink."
MIKE: God, there's so many terms
- I just don't understand or know.
- EMMA: Sneak
- (WHISPERS): Dude.
- What?
- MIKE: I don't know
- Hey, hey.
What?
What?
ELZ: I can see her pussy.
- MIKE (WHISPERS): Shut up.
- Can't you?
(TELEVISION PLAYING SOFTLY)
Oh. Is that
Is that her p Is that
her puss That's her pussy?
- ELZ: That's her pussy.
- What do we do?
Oh. Wait.
Come here, buddy. What is he doing?
- Now, why would she?
- He's licking her feet.
(SOFT LAPPING)
- Oh
- My God.
That's disgusting.
Um
Why can't I st I keep looking at it.
- EMMA: Don't look.
- Well
- ELZ: I can't look.
- MIKE: Let's just go to another room.
Let's just go to another
room. Quietly, quietly.
- Okay.
- (SHUSHES)
(CHAIR SCRAPES)
(SHUSHES)
Oh, my God.
(SOFT TICKING)
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
We can't have twigs and
branches flying around,
crashing into the house, can we?
I guess not, no.
Oh, a saw. Cool.
It's like a horror movie out here.
Did you ever see Saw?
Nah. I hate the playground.
They used to call me Monkey Bar.
They used to call me Bic.
'Cause I used to Bic my
dick with my dad's razor.
I don't know.
What are your intentions with Meg?
Pure. Christlike.
She's just a fan.
Yeah, and y'all rappers
don't fuck fans, right?
- I mean, s-sometime I
- What?
Is she too fat?
No.
I love fat.
I'm just fucking with you.
- Okay.
- I wouldn't fuck her either.
Well, she's your sister, so
(ENGINE REVS)
It's a Category 3.
GATA: Hey, Ryan, man,
congrats on getting that
submarine license, bro.
Let me know how it is down there,
Finding Nemo and all that.
GD all day. Salute.
Oh, this is a good one. I
used to smoke cigarettes.
Hey, yo, Alan and Christine,
I heard y'all quit that nicotine.
That's what's up, my G, GD all day.
- Salute.
- (BREATHING HEAVILY)
I've seen the devil.
Stared him square in the eyes.
Felt the heat off his face.
- Okay.
- I will protect
this family with my life,
protect Meg, even from herself.
Do you understand me, boy?
I-I think I do. I don't
understand what's happening now.
Are we just cutting this
side of the tree, or?
GATA: Got another one?
Hey, Xander, I heard you
got fired on your day off
for stealing cardboard boxes.
- That's what's up, bruh.
- (PANTING)
Keep doing your thing, G.
You see me now, motherfucker?
- What the fuck, man?
- Hmm?
- Do you see me?
- You tripping.
- No, do you see
- Calm down!
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
- (CRYING)
- Why the fuck you throw my phone like that, man?
Gata.
Go get her, bro. What are you doing?
Bro, I'm not chasing
that type of energy, man.
Why do you always do this shit, Gata?
Do what? I was doing Cameos.
Trying to get some money.
- (CRYING)
- AARON: "For these enemies of mine,
"who do not want me to reign over them,
- bring them here"
- (CHAIN SAW REVS)
" and I shall slaughter
them before you."
- Uh
- Corinthians 6:14.
"Be ye not unequally yoked
together with unbelievers"
(MECHANICAL CLICK)
(WHISPERS): Jesus,
save me.
Okay. I think the power went out, dude.
Yeah, I think so.
(THUNDER CRASHES)
- Let us pray.
- Oh.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Heavenly Father,
thank you for this nourishment
and shelter from this mighty storm.
Thank you for this bounty we
are able to share with our guests.
Please watch over them and protect them
- on their journey.
- Amen.
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- (WHISPERS): Not yet.
Blessed Savior,
we ask for your light,
that it may guide our Megan
toward more righteous pursuits.
We see the devil's temptation,
and we know he is here, at large.
In the name of Christ we pray.
- Amen.
- ALL: Amen.
CINDY: Gata, will your foreign
woman be joining us for supper?
Oh, no, ma'am.
Vatka's all right. She's
not gonna be here tonight.
CINDY: Well, we can
make her a little plate.
I'd rather not.
You know, one thing I've
been thinking about all day
and this might be a little
difficult to talk about
but what is unchristian about dancing?
MIKE (SOFTLY): Oh, God. Dave, come on.
It's not difficult to
discuss at all, David.
The truth about modern dance
is that it can create lust
and lead to temptation.
- Mm-hmm.
- DAVE: 'Cause of
y-you mean you're thinking
about twerking and stuff?
Richard?
What? Oh. Oh
Oh, no, it's Michael.
Remember? Michael. Richard's dead.
I just think it's more or
less how she expresses herself,
and expressing yourself today
might look a little different
than expressing yourself looked
when you were her age, you know?
- Dave
- The girl filmed herself doing splits
- over a plastic snake head.
- Dad.
- Snake head?
- CINDY: Gracelyn, sweetie.
Here. Why don't you take
your plate to your room?
GRACE: Yes, Ma.
- No, she th-the girl
- Can you chill out?
- DAVE: She doesn't have to
- (SHUSHING)
Sorry.
MIKE: Just eat your food.
Well, now that the child's gone,
we can really dive into it, no?
Like, sexuality. Let's just
talk about it real quick.
What is evil about sexuality?
Because for Gen Z, sexuality, like,
flaunting how you move and gyrate
is just as commonplace as,
like, combing your hair was
for you back in the '40s
or whatever, you know?
- MEG (LAUGHS): Um
- It's, like, a different time,
- and we have to
- Rampant lust leads to emptiness
and desperation.
You become trapped in
a cycle of pleasure,
and you start to lose your soul.
- Mm-hmm.
- Your soul?
EMMA: Jesus was pretty clear
about not judging sexuality.
I mean, he hung out with prostitutes.
And that's a Christian woman. Formerly.
Who still might, uh,
prescribe to some
You know, even my parents, for example,
used to look at Kim Kardashian
like a DIY porno slut,
but now they're able to see, "Oh,
"she's gotten her, like, law degree.
She frees incarcerated Blacks."
It's like, things evolve, times change,
and I just think, like,
keeping an open mind
to the present day is pretty essential.
To say that's baloney would
be an insult to cold meats.
(SOFT LAUGHTER)
I know you libtards care more
about criminals than unborn babies.
Aaron.
You said "libtard"?
'Cause we don't say "tard" today.
Please don't tell me
what to say in my own home
and I won't tell you
what to say in yours.
I-I'm just saying,
living your whole life
on a philosophy that's
based off of a book
that was written tens of
thousands of years ago,
like, I don't know, we've
just learned way too many facts
since then to still be
adhering to those rules.
And to hold poor, sweet
Meg to those standards,
- like, she doesn't even believe in that.
- Hey!
Don't you dare say that.
- Oh.
- And don't talk to my parents that way.
I'm sorry, Meg, but no
one's gonna defend you,
and I'm trying, and it's just
like, the way that you guys
are living is not
necessarily more righteous
- than the way that we're
- What?
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
GATA: Oh, I got it.
Think that's me.
DAVE: Wh-What?
(DOOR OPENS)
- Hey, what's up?
- GRACIELA: Hey. How are you?
I can't believe you made it
out here with this weather.
- I know, this shit is crazy.
- GATA: Man, you looking hella good, too.
Damn. I can't believe
you came like that.
- Is that Vatka?
- Seriously.
- (KISSING)
- Man, I'm so happy to see you.
- (GRACIELA MUTTERS)
- Hey, thank you for the food,
but, um, I got to catch up
with y'all in the morning.
Gata, who is that?
Oh, this is Graciela, you
know. Cliff, he hella pussy.
She got a four-cylinder SUV,
- still came to kick it with me.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm-a be outside in
her car in the front.
That's my dawg. Gata, bro,
he had two bitches
pull up in a hurricane.
What is this fucking bitch?
- What?
- Who the fuck is that?
GATA: Let's just be cool, yo. Um
- I put you on my skin.
- Hey, let's just be Come on.
- You slut. (SCREAMS)
- Oh!
- Uh
- VATKA: Slut.
- Are you fucking?
- Calm down.
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
- (GASPS)
- Prevent it. Prevent it. Prevent it.
- Elz, do something, Elz.
- ELZ: Bro, what?
- Do something. Anything.
- What am I gonna?
MIKE: Help them Get her up.
- Get her off the floor.
- (PANTING)
GRACIELA: You're defending her?
- Really? That's-that's great.
- (DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
ELZ: Gata, man, what the fuck, bro?
DAVE: Meg.
- Meg?
- MEG: Not now, Dave.
I am so sorry about all of that.
MIKE: What the fuck
are you thinking, Gata?
DAVE: Yeah, what is your deal,
man? How many girls do you need
to come at one fucking time,
Gata, to another person's house?
This can't happen over and over again.
- MIKE: You need fucking help.
- Why would you do this?
You're a sex addict.
Get your shit together.
You know what? I am, bro.
What you want me to say?
You don't think I know
that about myself already?
You know how crazy in the head I am?
I got to text a bitch every night
just because I can't stand being alone.
You know how bad that feel?
What y'all want me to do?
- Okay
- Tell me. You a Christian.
It's okay. Okay?
It's all okay. Just share your pain.
What you want to know? You
want to know the last time
that I was with a girl?
Committed to her?
She left me and had an abortion.
You know what that shit did to me?
Broke my fucking heart!
He wants you to love yourself
just as much as He loves you.
He will never abandon you.
Why wouldn't He?
Everybody else did already.
I never knew my mom, never knew my dad.
How's somebody gonna tell me what to do?
Gata, what do you mean
you don't know your mom?
- I've met your mom. She's
- Nobody met my real mom.
She left me, man.
She chose drugs, man.
(CRYING): Like, what y'all
want me to say? Like
Why should I trust a woman?
Why should I love a woman?
My mom didn't love me my whole life.
How y'all gonna tell me something
to make me feel bad,
make me want to change?
Like (SCOFFS)
I was raised by Michael
Jordan, man, like
The Simpsons, dawg.
Shit like that, bro.
- You know how that feel, dawg?
- CINDY: You are God's son.
Can we pray for you?
Yeah, man.
(SOFTLY): Okay.
Dear Lord, we pray for our friend,
and ask that You help him
through the struggles he's facing.
Please let this young man know
that he is worthy of Your love.
- I love you, man.
- Okay.
(CRYING)
- Hey. Here
- GATA: Thank you.
DAVE: Hey, Meg, I'm so sorry about
- all the craziness tonight.
- (PHONE WHOOSHES)
And I'm really sorry
that we didn't really get
to hang out how we planned to.
I don't know if you want to
come to another show at, like,
a later date, but I-I would love that.
(PHONE WHOOSHES)
Most importantly, I am so sorry
for bringing up the dancing.
I was just trying to
I don't know.
Sorry again.
(PHONE WHOOSHES)
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(EXHALES)
♪
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Savior ♪
Like a shepherd, lead us ♪
Much we need Thy tender care ♪
In Thy pleasant pastures feed us ♪
- Hi.
- Hey.
Um, I didn't respond yesterday
'cause I just needed a minute.
- You know?
- Absolutely.
- And I-I need to, like, really explain
- Um
and apologize No?
Yeah.
(SIGHS) Look, Dave, uh (CHUCKLES)
I really want to be mad at you
for making all these assumptions
- about me and my family.
- Yeah.
But, you know, I realize
that, even though I'm this
big Lil Dicky superfan,
I-I don't really know you either.
You do know me. You do.
Like, I am the guy that you love
in the music. I'm that same guy.
I'm not the asshole
that you saw last night.
Oh, no, I-I know you
were just trying to help,
but I don't need you to save me, Dave.
I'm already saved.
Sure.
I-I'm not religious, so
it's, like, hard for me
to, like, fully, you know, but
- Mm.
- Here's what I'll tell you, is
only when I started doing,
like, exactly what I love to do
in life did I feel any
semblance of spirit.
And my parents were, like, so anti.
They had a whole intervention
saying, "Don't do this, Dave."
Pretty much everybody in my whole life
was kind of making assumptions about me
and why I shouldn't go for it.
Oh, wow.
(LAUGHS): Well
I'm really happy you
didn't listen to 'em.
Me, too.
Mm.
Um, I can't give you
a goodbye hug right now
'cause they're all still watching.
- Oh. Okay.
- But, um
I'm gonna give you a mind hug, okay?
A mind hug?
- Oh.
- Mm.
- Aw.
- Do you feel it?
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)
- Yeah, I do feel it.
It's very warm.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay.
EMMA: Bye, Meg.
Bye. Bye, Emma.
- Thanks, big dawg.
- Oh, bye, Elz.
- Bye, Megan.
- Bye, Mike.
- Bye, Meg.
- Bye, Gata.
- Bye, Dave.
- Bye, Meg.
- Hey, Dave.
- Oh.
Sorry. Um (CLEARS THROAT)
I just wanted to say that, um,
I listened to some of your music,
and I don't normally like
rap, but I loved your shit.
(EXHALES) Cool, man. Thank you.
Yeah. It's just fucking cool
to hear someone who's proud to be white.
You know?
- Uh
- Like that song "White Guy."
That song slaps, dude.
(CHUCKLES) Well
You know, I think you
might be misinterpreting,
like, the premise of
the song. It's kind of, uh
Nah, nah, nah. I get
it, I get it, I get it.
Just know that me and the boys
are gonna be bumping it all summer.
Anyway stay blessed, brother.
♪
♪