Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989) s03e05 Episode Script
The Cheese Stands Alone
Go away.
Leave me alone, why don't you? Come on.
Wayne.
They don't know what they're talking about.
Sure, they do.
I'm a no-good bum.
I always will be.
That's not true.
Wake up, Sandy.
It'll never work.
You don't want anything to do with me.
Maybe I do.
It's wrong.
It may be wrong But it's what I want.
Right there.
See what I mean? I'm telling you, doog, the woman wants me.
It's official, vin.
You've lost your mind.
Have you been watching? She was all over me.
It was an acting class.
She was acting.
I spent 25 bucks worth of t-shirts rehearsing this.
The woman's an animal.
I'm her prey.
It's a nightmare.
Say she's even vaguely interested in you.
How is that a nightmare? You know my chemical makeup.
I'm a ball of hormones with feet.
The pressure to lose my virginity is staggering.
There are worse things than being a virgin.
Other than death, name one.
Believe me, I want to be faithful, but this Kim ain't making it very easy.
Vinnie, snap out of it.
She's not coming on to you.
Oh, no? It felt great.
It was so easy to see how her Her desire could overtake her reason.
And I could really feel Vincent's Oh, Wayne's heat His passion.
I think we should do some more work on this scene outside of class.
I'm sure we can make it much better.
Oh.
O.
K.
, o.
K.
, I'll stop.
I said no, and I meant no.
I got to tell you, I'm getting mixed signals.
One minute you're hot, the next you're cold.
At the prom you said we will.
Now you're shoving my face into the window.
Well, I'm sorry.
Maybe we should just go home.
Look We've been going out for two years now, Janine.
We're 18 In college.
We love each other.
So what are we waiting for? We're waiting for me to be ready, that's what.
Aren't you getting a little tired of being a virgin? Why not? Because I'm not.
You're telling me that you like being a virgin? No, I'm telling you I'm not a virgin.
You're a real crackup, Janine.
You really had me going.
I mean, you were being funny, weren't you? I don't believe it.
How could you have kept this from me? I didn't keep it from you.
It just never came up.
It's all starting to make sense to me now.
You've been holding out, not because you never have, but because you never wanted to with me.
I just wish you could've told me sooner.
You could've saved the both of us a lot of trouble.
I'm going to walk home.
Vinnie! Can you tell Mr.
rubel I'll check on him soon? Sure.
Doogie.
Hi.
What are you doing here? Can I talk to you in private? Sure.
Hold the door.
What's up? Is it true a doctor's sworn to secrecy when a patient tells him something? Yeah.
It's called doctor-patient confidentiality.
It's the law.
Then I'm here as a patient.
O.
K.
I have a sexual problem.
Oh, uh, I see.
Uh, o.
K.
I wish I wish I had a pen.
Oh, well.
O.
K.
, um What seems to be the trouble? Well You know, Janine, do you really want to talk to me about this? You could talk to an older doctor or possibly a woman.
Yeah, an older woman doctor.
No, I want to talk to you.
O.
K.
Um What type of sexual problem do you have? I don't like it.
I mean, I like the idea of it.
It's just that, lately, every time Vinnie and I get close, I get scared.
I'm hoping there's something I could do to get over it Like hypnosis or acupuncture.
Marsha berman lost weight doing that.
Maybe you're just not ready.
It's not that simple.
Last night, it happened again, but Vinnie kept pressuring me.
We had this huge fight, and Well, I told him I wasn't a virgin.
It happened before I moved to brentwood.
Wow.
Um O.
K.
Let's see You were very young.
Maybe that has something to do with how you're feeling.
I was a freshman.
I was dating this senior.
My friends thought it was really cool.
One night we were at his house.
His parents were away.
We were fooling around, and he wouldn't stop.
I told him no, but he called me a tease.
The next thing I knew, he was holding me down.
There was nothing I could do.
I couldn't stop him, doogie.
I tried, but I couldn't stop him.
It was stupid to go to his house.
I knew his parents weren't there.
It was my fault.
It wasn't your fault.
You said no.
You were raped.
It's not like some stranger held a knife to my throat.
He was my boyfriend.
It's called date rape.
You need to talk to someone more qualified.
I've only told you.
If anybody finds out, I'll hate you.
Eastman has a rape treatment center.
It's confidential.
Forget it, doogie! Just forget it.
Vinnie? Are you o.
K.
? No.
Last night I found out Janine's not a virgin.
Really? Yeah.
Turns out she was never really interested in me.
I was just her buddy, her pal, her platonic chum.
Make that chump.
Seems I repulse her physically.
Wait.
She told you all this? She doesn't have to.
Why else was she putting me off this long? Well, there could be a lot of reasons.
Come on, doog.
Women like tall, handsome men, whereas I'm just a short, weird-looking kid.
Vin, Janine's not being a virgin has nothing to do with you.
I'm assuming.
There are plenty of women who find you attractive.
Yeah, like who? Well, um Phyllis maldorelli.
Used me for my filmmaking.
O.
K.
June hutchinson.
The woman is legally blind in one eye.
That girl in your scene class.
Acting.
That was not acting.
Come on.
She said she could feel your heat, your passion.
She could hardly keep her hands off me.
She invited me over to rehearse.
We both know what that means.
You see? Women find you attractive, including Janine.
Janine made herself clear.
She doesn't want me.
But you're right about Kim.
And tomorrow night, I'll find out just how right.
I'm not suggesting you sleep with this woman.
Why not? You'd blow everything with Janine for a lousy one-night stand.
Who said anything about lousy? The worst reason to have sex is to prove something.
Don't start, Mr.
genius doctor.
This is one area where you don't know more than me.
Maybe I do.
Like you've done it.
Maybe I have.
Right.
And you kept it secret.
Maybe I did.
Maybe you did? I did.
I got to sit down.
How could you not have told me? I'm your best friend! Because it was personal between Wanda and me.
One day, if you don't screw this up, maybe you'll understand this.
Oh, please, enough with the patronizing nonvirgin lecture.
I understand just fine.
The cheese stands alone.
But not for long.
What are you doing here? You've got to talk to Vinnie.
Explain what happened.
I can't.
He loves you.
He'll understand.
Doogie, leave me alone.
Please.
He's about to do something stupid.
Vinnie's always about to do something stupid.
He thinks you don't want him 'cause you don't find him sexually attractive.
That's not true.
I know, but he doesn't.
To prove something to himself, he's going to sleep with another woman.
Then it's over.
You can't run away from this.
One day you'll want to have a healthy sexual relationship, if not with Vinnie, with someone else.
But you'll have to deal with this.
Janine.
I said I never wanted to see you again.
How did you get in? The door was open.
You always just walk into an open door? Only when I know there's something I want inside.
Kiss me, Wayne.
Uh Kim, I don't think you say that till much later.
Let's skip ahead.
We sure are straying from the text now.
Hey This is great.
I'm so proud of me.
Run our fingers through her hair.
Mmm.
Yeah, yeah.
Whoa.
What about Janine? Janine who? This is obviously not working for us.
What part of our unconscious are you from, pal? We're cruising down ba-da-boom Lane.
But we're still thinking about Janine.
Kim.
Oh, baby, I'm so happy.
You two disgust me.
So take a hike, you wimp.
We're doing fine without you.
I'm not leaving.
I'm not letting you ruin our life.
Ah! Sorry.
Neck cramp.
O.
K.
That's it.
Leave me alone! I'm warning you! Lecher! Virgin! Janine! What are you doing here? Janine.
Baby.
She means nothing to me.
We were acting.
It's not what you think.
Hey, you lied.
So sue me.
Those lame excuses mean we still love Janine.
No.
They just mean we're a liar.
Admit it.
We love her.
O.
K.
, o.
K.
We love her.
Ah, come on.
Quit stalling.
Come on.
Don't rush me.
I hope you're happy.
No.
Wait.
Kim, I can't do this.
Oh, that's o.
K.
I hear this happens to a lot of guys.
Oh, no.
No.
You don't understand.
I can't do it.
And, god knows, I want to do it.
It's just i don't want to do it with you.
It's nothing personal.
There's somebody else.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
I really like you, Vincent.
Look, I got to go.
Thanks.
You have no idea what this almost meant to me.
He worked in the office next to mine.
I was really excited when he asked me out.
We had dinner and then we went to see a movie.
He was a nice guy so I invited him in for coffee.
And that's when it happened.
That's when what happened? He changed.
We were kissing goodnight.
Nothing heavy.
But then he wouldn't stop.
I asked him to leave but he refused.
And that's when he forced me to have sex with him.
How did that make you feel? Angry.
Scared.
Dirty.
Like it was my fault.
How was it your fault? I could have stopped him.
I could have fought harder.
What would have happened then? I don't know.
He was a lot bigger than me.
He probably would have hurt me.
I never should have let him in in the first place.
Look, Cathy, you're blaming yourself because it's easier than accepting you lost control.
But that's exactly what happened the moment you were physically overpowered.
That's not your fault.
And that's not sex.
It's rape.
Hey, Janine, wait! I can't talk to you, Vinnie.
I'm sorry if I hurt you or misled you, but You had no right pressuring me.
You're right.
You never even considered how I was feeling.
You're right.
You totally cheapened our relationship.
You're right.
If you'd wait, I could apologize.
What do you say after sleeping with someone else I'm sorry? I didn't do it.
You didn't? She wouldn't let you? I wouldn't let me.
You mean too much to me.
Vinnie, if this is another ploy to weaken my defenses, I may have to kill you.
It's not.
I swear.
And if I ever get lucky enough to have sex in this lifetime, I want it to be with you.
When you're ready.
I love you, Janine.
I love you, too, Vinnie.
Now, Janine This other guy Was he, like, this incredibly handsome stud? Look.
Someday I hope I can tell you everything, but Right now I can't.
O.
K.
? O.
K.
I can tell you one thing, though.
You're the sexiest guy I've ever known.
Really? I think it's your eyes.
You know, that look you give me sometimes, and the way your mind works.
You're so passionate.
Yeah? And? I love your hair.
Well, you know, I do condition it.
Rinse and repeat.
Woo! Woo! Ooh! Man, that's cold.
Vinnie, there's no medical evidence that cold showers actually lessen sexual desire.
Although, in your case, it certainly seems to have worked.
Love is a many-splendored thing It's the April rose That only grows In the early spring Love is nature's way of giving A reason to be living The golden crown That makes a man a king
Leave me alone, why don't you? Come on.
Wayne.
They don't know what they're talking about.
Sure, they do.
I'm a no-good bum.
I always will be.
That's not true.
Wake up, Sandy.
It'll never work.
You don't want anything to do with me.
Maybe I do.
It's wrong.
It may be wrong But it's what I want.
Right there.
See what I mean? I'm telling you, doog, the woman wants me.
It's official, vin.
You've lost your mind.
Have you been watching? She was all over me.
It was an acting class.
She was acting.
I spent 25 bucks worth of t-shirts rehearsing this.
The woman's an animal.
I'm her prey.
It's a nightmare.
Say she's even vaguely interested in you.
How is that a nightmare? You know my chemical makeup.
I'm a ball of hormones with feet.
The pressure to lose my virginity is staggering.
There are worse things than being a virgin.
Other than death, name one.
Believe me, I want to be faithful, but this Kim ain't making it very easy.
Vinnie, snap out of it.
She's not coming on to you.
Oh, no? It felt great.
It was so easy to see how her Her desire could overtake her reason.
And I could really feel Vincent's Oh, Wayne's heat His passion.
I think we should do some more work on this scene outside of class.
I'm sure we can make it much better.
Oh.
O.
K.
, o.
K.
, I'll stop.
I said no, and I meant no.
I got to tell you, I'm getting mixed signals.
One minute you're hot, the next you're cold.
At the prom you said we will.
Now you're shoving my face into the window.
Well, I'm sorry.
Maybe we should just go home.
Look We've been going out for two years now, Janine.
We're 18 In college.
We love each other.
So what are we waiting for? We're waiting for me to be ready, that's what.
Aren't you getting a little tired of being a virgin? Why not? Because I'm not.
You're telling me that you like being a virgin? No, I'm telling you I'm not a virgin.
You're a real crackup, Janine.
You really had me going.
I mean, you were being funny, weren't you? I don't believe it.
How could you have kept this from me? I didn't keep it from you.
It just never came up.
It's all starting to make sense to me now.
You've been holding out, not because you never have, but because you never wanted to with me.
I just wish you could've told me sooner.
You could've saved the both of us a lot of trouble.
I'm going to walk home.
Vinnie! Can you tell Mr.
rubel I'll check on him soon? Sure.
Doogie.
Hi.
What are you doing here? Can I talk to you in private? Sure.
Hold the door.
What's up? Is it true a doctor's sworn to secrecy when a patient tells him something? Yeah.
It's called doctor-patient confidentiality.
It's the law.
Then I'm here as a patient.
O.
K.
I have a sexual problem.
Oh, uh, I see.
Uh, o.
K.
I wish I wish I had a pen.
Oh, well.
O.
K.
, um What seems to be the trouble? Well You know, Janine, do you really want to talk to me about this? You could talk to an older doctor or possibly a woman.
Yeah, an older woman doctor.
No, I want to talk to you.
O.
K.
Um What type of sexual problem do you have? I don't like it.
I mean, I like the idea of it.
It's just that, lately, every time Vinnie and I get close, I get scared.
I'm hoping there's something I could do to get over it Like hypnosis or acupuncture.
Marsha berman lost weight doing that.
Maybe you're just not ready.
It's not that simple.
Last night, it happened again, but Vinnie kept pressuring me.
We had this huge fight, and Well, I told him I wasn't a virgin.
It happened before I moved to brentwood.
Wow.
Um O.
K.
Let's see You were very young.
Maybe that has something to do with how you're feeling.
I was a freshman.
I was dating this senior.
My friends thought it was really cool.
One night we were at his house.
His parents were away.
We were fooling around, and he wouldn't stop.
I told him no, but he called me a tease.
The next thing I knew, he was holding me down.
There was nothing I could do.
I couldn't stop him, doogie.
I tried, but I couldn't stop him.
It was stupid to go to his house.
I knew his parents weren't there.
It was my fault.
It wasn't your fault.
You said no.
You were raped.
It's not like some stranger held a knife to my throat.
He was my boyfriend.
It's called date rape.
You need to talk to someone more qualified.
I've only told you.
If anybody finds out, I'll hate you.
Eastman has a rape treatment center.
It's confidential.
Forget it, doogie! Just forget it.
Vinnie? Are you o.
K.
? No.
Last night I found out Janine's not a virgin.
Really? Yeah.
Turns out she was never really interested in me.
I was just her buddy, her pal, her platonic chum.
Make that chump.
Seems I repulse her physically.
Wait.
She told you all this? She doesn't have to.
Why else was she putting me off this long? Well, there could be a lot of reasons.
Come on, doog.
Women like tall, handsome men, whereas I'm just a short, weird-looking kid.
Vin, Janine's not being a virgin has nothing to do with you.
I'm assuming.
There are plenty of women who find you attractive.
Yeah, like who? Well, um Phyllis maldorelli.
Used me for my filmmaking.
O.
K.
June hutchinson.
The woman is legally blind in one eye.
That girl in your scene class.
Acting.
That was not acting.
Come on.
She said she could feel your heat, your passion.
She could hardly keep her hands off me.
She invited me over to rehearse.
We both know what that means.
You see? Women find you attractive, including Janine.
Janine made herself clear.
She doesn't want me.
But you're right about Kim.
And tomorrow night, I'll find out just how right.
I'm not suggesting you sleep with this woman.
Why not? You'd blow everything with Janine for a lousy one-night stand.
Who said anything about lousy? The worst reason to have sex is to prove something.
Don't start, Mr.
genius doctor.
This is one area where you don't know more than me.
Maybe I do.
Like you've done it.
Maybe I have.
Right.
And you kept it secret.
Maybe I did.
Maybe you did? I did.
I got to sit down.
How could you not have told me? I'm your best friend! Because it was personal between Wanda and me.
One day, if you don't screw this up, maybe you'll understand this.
Oh, please, enough with the patronizing nonvirgin lecture.
I understand just fine.
The cheese stands alone.
But not for long.
What are you doing here? You've got to talk to Vinnie.
Explain what happened.
I can't.
He loves you.
He'll understand.
Doogie, leave me alone.
Please.
He's about to do something stupid.
Vinnie's always about to do something stupid.
He thinks you don't want him 'cause you don't find him sexually attractive.
That's not true.
I know, but he doesn't.
To prove something to himself, he's going to sleep with another woman.
Then it's over.
You can't run away from this.
One day you'll want to have a healthy sexual relationship, if not with Vinnie, with someone else.
But you'll have to deal with this.
Janine.
I said I never wanted to see you again.
How did you get in? The door was open.
You always just walk into an open door? Only when I know there's something I want inside.
Kiss me, Wayne.
Uh Kim, I don't think you say that till much later.
Let's skip ahead.
We sure are straying from the text now.
Hey This is great.
I'm so proud of me.
Run our fingers through her hair.
Mmm.
Yeah, yeah.
Whoa.
What about Janine? Janine who? This is obviously not working for us.
What part of our unconscious are you from, pal? We're cruising down ba-da-boom Lane.
But we're still thinking about Janine.
Kim.
Oh, baby, I'm so happy.
You two disgust me.
So take a hike, you wimp.
We're doing fine without you.
I'm not leaving.
I'm not letting you ruin our life.
Ah! Sorry.
Neck cramp.
O.
K.
That's it.
Leave me alone! I'm warning you! Lecher! Virgin! Janine! What are you doing here? Janine.
Baby.
She means nothing to me.
We were acting.
It's not what you think.
Hey, you lied.
So sue me.
Those lame excuses mean we still love Janine.
No.
They just mean we're a liar.
Admit it.
We love her.
O.
K.
, o.
K.
We love her.
Ah, come on.
Quit stalling.
Come on.
Don't rush me.
I hope you're happy.
No.
Wait.
Kim, I can't do this.
Oh, that's o.
K.
I hear this happens to a lot of guys.
Oh, no.
No.
You don't understand.
I can't do it.
And, god knows, I want to do it.
It's just i don't want to do it with you.
It's nothing personal.
There's somebody else.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
I really like you, Vincent.
Look, I got to go.
Thanks.
You have no idea what this almost meant to me.
He worked in the office next to mine.
I was really excited when he asked me out.
We had dinner and then we went to see a movie.
He was a nice guy so I invited him in for coffee.
And that's when it happened.
That's when what happened? He changed.
We were kissing goodnight.
Nothing heavy.
But then he wouldn't stop.
I asked him to leave but he refused.
And that's when he forced me to have sex with him.
How did that make you feel? Angry.
Scared.
Dirty.
Like it was my fault.
How was it your fault? I could have stopped him.
I could have fought harder.
What would have happened then? I don't know.
He was a lot bigger than me.
He probably would have hurt me.
I never should have let him in in the first place.
Look, Cathy, you're blaming yourself because it's easier than accepting you lost control.
But that's exactly what happened the moment you were physically overpowered.
That's not your fault.
And that's not sex.
It's rape.
Hey, Janine, wait! I can't talk to you, Vinnie.
I'm sorry if I hurt you or misled you, but You had no right pressuring me.
You're right.
You never even considered how I was feeling.
You're right.
You totally cheapened our relationship.
You're right.
If you'd wait, I could apologize.
What do you say after sleeping with someone else I'm sorry? I didn't do it.
You didn't? She wouldn't let you? I wouldn't let me.
You mean too much to me.
Vinnie, if this is another ploy to weaken my defenses, I may have to kill you.
It's not.
I swear.
And if I ever get lucky enough to have sex in this lifetime, I want it to be with you.
When you're ready.
I love you, Janine.
I love you, too, Vinnie.
Now, Janine This other guy Was he, like, this incredibly handsome stud? Look.
Someday I hope I can tell you everything, but Right now I can't.
O.
K.
? O.
K.
I can tell you one thing, though.
You're the sexiest guy I've ever known.
Really? I think it's your eyes.
You know, that look you give me sometimes, and the way your mind works.
You're so passionate.
Yeah? And? I love your hair.
Well, you know, I do condition it.
Rinse and repeat.
Woo! Woo! Ooh! Man, that's cold.
Vinnie, there's no medical evidence that cold showers actually lessen sexual desire.
Although, in your case, it certainly seems to have worked.
Love is a many-splendored thing It's the April rose That only grows In the early spring Love is nature's way of giving A reason to be living The golden crown That makes a man a king