Four More Shots Please (2019) s03e05 Episode Script

1
Did you play stapoo as a child?
Hopscotch?
You have to jump from one square to next.
And move forward without any baggage.
I wish life was like that.
Hey! Good morning.
Want a kale smoothie?
I did a fruit and veg run.
-Sure, yeah.
-It's on the counter.
What is SKFC?
Samara Kapoor Fan Club.
They call themselves "Samaratans,"
and their Facebook page
is dedicated to me!
I feel so loved.
We need to file a FIR.
It's hate speech.
Doesn't prove that they did it.
What are you doing?
Replying with a few choice comments.
Are you mad? No point, dude.
Social media war never helps.
We should wait it out.
They're kids, they'll get bored.
Dude, when?
When will this woman stop haunting me?
-Hey.
-Hi.
Not bad.
-You're quite an artist.
-Thanks.
I'll see you inside.
-Bye!
-See you.
You just hired him a few days ago.
You're already making him
clean up the mess.
I'm just getting my money's worth.
I have to go prepare for my comeback show.
I'm nervous. When will I see you?
It's tonight?
Mangs, you're ditching me?
I have an accounts review meeting.
It slipped my mind.
-I have a meeting
-Radha is on leave today
-So sorry.
-I'm sorry.
Wow. Fine.
-Just this time, sorry.
-Sids!
Returning from a long sabbatical,
please welcome
the very funny, Siddhi Patel!
We missed you, Siddhi!
Okay.
So, how many of you have single moms?
How many of you have
single moms who started dating?
Red shirt wanted to raise his hand,
but then he changed his mind.
Because we're talking
about moms after all.
And how can anyone discuss
their mom's love life?
Right? Except,
that's exactly what I'm going to do today.
What's wrong? You look scandalized.
Please wait, sir,
this was just the starter.
The "mom course" is yet to come.
So, since my dad passed away,
my mom seems to have developed
what you may call a golden vagina.
You know all those boring uncles
whose wives had sex only twice with them?
When they want to conceive?
All those men think that
my mom is the goldmine of vaginas.
And everyone knows this.
I know it. They know it.
You know it. The entire colony knows it.
Even the building watchman knows it,
but my mom doesn't.
She thinks all these men
are being helpful.
"Manohar is so sweet."
"Did you see? Mahendar is so caring."
Yeah, caring.
Manohar has already been
on ten Amsterdam trips with my mom.
And Mahendar is
obsessed with her, you know
So, basically, a 48-year-old single woman
has only one option.
To spread her legs for any horny man.
Sometimes I feel we have gone
400 years back instead
of stepping into a modern age.
We're still being forced
to jump into the fire.
So, ladies, tell me,
what kind of wood would you like
for your designer pyre?
Mango wood or rose wood?
Thank you. That was my time.
Green tea?
You deserve something stronger.
Seriously? That's your pick-up line?
Lame.
If I used a pick-up line,
I would've said you deserve
something stronger, like me.
You are strong, are you?
I'm Rahul.
-You might've heard
-Don't say that please.
Big fan.
This audience
couldn't recognize your talent.
Only you did.
That's why I should sleep with you?
-Do you want to?
-You forgot.
My mom has the golden vagina.
I just have a normal, boring one.
Breathe out and Hasta Padasana.
Hasta Padasana, we come down
into Hasta Padasana.
And breathe out.
You don't need that extra slice of pizza.
Hasta Sanchalanasan.
Great sex is in your power.
Dandasana now. Hips up a bit.
But bad sex is also in your power,
so choose wisely.
And now we go to Ashtanga Namaskara.
Have your knees on the floor.
Meher! Hi.
Good morning.
How about that tour?
-Now?
-Yeah.
-See you downstairs.
-Sweetie, come on.
Hi, Kiana. My mama and dada.
-Hi, Arya.
-What's up?
Hi, Gautam. My mama and dada.
We live in the same house.
Baby, no need to announce that.
-Why, Mama?
-Because Mama says so.
Now go and have a great day at school.
-Love you.
-Love you.
Finish your lunch, okay?
-Bye, Mama. Bye, Dada.
-Bye.
I'm beginning to think
we have irrevocably scarred our child.
You. Not we.
Arya and I were perfectly fine.
Until you dumped your farty ass
on my couch.
My ass is not farty.
It's an upside-down heart. See?
My bum, my bum.
Stop it. It's a school.
-Sorry.
-Good morning, ma'am.
Okay, listen.
Call Kavya, please.
I called her
and even her parents.
They said to give her more time.
So, me and my bum
will have to wait.
Okay.
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
This really is a lovely studio.
Thank you.
No, really, I mean,
you can take risks only when
you know that you have it in you.
I mean, to make a fresh start,
and by yourself? It takes guts.
Honestly speaking, I didn't do it alone.
I had my partner with me, Siddhi.
Mixing love with work?
That's brave.
No, Siddhi is my business partner,
and more than that, she's my best friend.
-And she's straight, so
-I'm sorry. My bad.
Then it's the best partnership.
Yeah, it is.
And I'm really lucky
because I have three best friends.
We are thick as thieves.
How perfect.
Have you been to Truck Bar?
No? It's our spot.
Our safe space.
Do you have a safe space?
My bakery.
My daughter, Tara.
And I now feel,
this could be it.
Come, let's go.
This will work?
Indian youth feel alienated
from politicians, not politics.
Focus on their issues because no one does.
You'll be fine.
I'm 15 years older than them.
Do I speak their language?
Others are 50 years older than them.
You're their best bet.
-You think so?
-I know so.
I don't believe in myself as much.
Damini Rizvi Roy really likes me.
Who would've thought?
Hi, Arav. I missed you. Did you miss me?
Meeta is doing a great job with Arav.
I can leave
if you don't want me to be here.
Yes, I feel betrayed by you.
But I'm mad at Varun, not you.
He has a problem.
He runs away
from every single responsibility.
I didn't see this coming.
He tried to sabotage the relationship
after Arya and now,
after Arav, he's doing the same thing.
It's like, he's feeling trapped,
so he's subconsciously trying to ruin it,
so that he can be free.
Kavya, Varun has
been ten times a better husband and father
than he was when Arya was born.
But ten times better is not enough.
The bar is so low!
He's trying. He's trying to change.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Then why did he kiss you?
We were reliving the old days.
It just happened.
We withdrew immediately.
And it had nothing to do
with your pregnancy or
him wanting to escape.
I don't believe that.
I've had time to think about it.
Varun has issues he needs to sort out.
Arav is just a baby.
You need each other.
You're saying that?
You've done well without him.
Arya punched Gautam so many times
that we're all in shock.
Has anything changed at home?
-No.
-Yes.
I mean, I'm living
with Arya and her mother now.
Temporarily. We're divorced.
-Expel that psycho, please.
-Excuse me?
You know, my son Gautam is traumatized.
Miss Sheetal, I want to know
how this happened.
-So do I.
-So do I.
As do I.
Apparently, Arya told Gautam
that her dad and mom live with her.
Gautam called her a liar-liar.
His mother told him
her mother is a
-What?
-Sorry?
Loose prostitute.
-Prostitute?
-Loose prostitute.
Anjana is a lawyer.
I guess that qualifies as a prostitute.
Oldest profession.
I have tremendous respect
for "prostitutes."
Did you know,
prostitution is legal in 15 countries.
Technically, it's not illegal in India,
though soliciting and pimping is.
-I married a smart woman.
-Then divorced her.
But I assure you,
it was my sperm that helped create Arya.
She has my ears.
Whatever she might be, she's not a liar.
Let's go?
After you, Ms. Prostitute.
-Ciao.
-Thank you, Miss Sheetal.
Sorry.
Thank you. Toast?
-Yes, please.
-All right.
-Eggs?
-Yes, please.
By the way,
it's the Sethnas' 40th anniversary.
My parents want
to have dinner tomorrow at 9:00 p.m.
But I'll be at Town Hall with Dhananjay.
That's in the evening.
I'm sure you can come after.
I'm taking a night off, too.
They wanna meet you.
Fine. I'll be there at 9:00 p.m.
Thank you.
What's so funny?
Nothing, just Dhananjay.
Dhananjay what?
A political joke you won't get.
I won't get it because,
what, I'm not smart enough?
Because you won't get the context.
It's an inside joke.
Inside jokes in three weeks?
Politicians don't swap parties so fast.
What's happening here?
Just making a political joke.
Nice! Okay, take five. Good job.
-Hey! Shall we begin?
-Yes.
Siddhi darling?
Do you have those tourmaline earrings?
-May I have them, please?
-Yeah.
Wow! Where are you off to?
Just a dance class.
Basic Jive and Ballroom dancing.
With?
Don't tell me Heera
and Meenu Auntie again.
So boring.
Remember the gentleman from the workshop?
You met him. Rajan?
Your instructor?
I didn't know he teaches dancing, too.
No.
-I'm going with him.
-What?
-Like, on a date?
-What?
No, not a date.
A very non-date, friendly outing.
What is a "non-date, friendly outing"?
Siddhi, please!
Don't make a mountain out of a molehill.
It's Thursday. Our pizza and movie night.
I know.
Tomorrow night.
Two pizzas, two movies, I promise.
Come on.
Cheer up.
All right.
Okay.
This is blueberry, this is lemon, right?
Okay. All right.
Woman, you
are a magician.
There's a foodgasm going on
in my mouth.
I haven't been dancing in ages.
To be honest, neither have I.
But you know what?
We're still young, so
Young maybe, but not so light anymore.
Rubbish.
You're as light as a souffle.
Hopefully not a cheese one because
that plays havoc with the stomach
so I can't move.
Okay, then strawberry souffle.
In fact, you know what?
You look so light,
I could've picked you up easily.
Except for my slipped disc, so
I have a really good physio.
-I'll share his number.
-Thanks.
And you know what?
I know a very good acupuncturist.
I'll share his number.
We're sharing doctors already.
This is moving very fast.
-Shall we?
-Thank you.
How long has it been?
-Baking since I was eight.
-Nice.
-My father taught me.
-Wow.
-And Meher Bakes?
-Three years now.
-Right after my divorce.
-Oh, man.
Marriage.
It takes courage.
Quite a bit.
Actually,
it was a mistake to get married.
I shouldn't have carried on
for so many years.
I loved Ayesha.
Ayesha loved me, you know?
We were 18.
Our parents found out.
Oh, man, the drama!
The pressure.
Ayesha gave up.
She got married.
I got confused.
Harish happened to be there.
So he became my husband.
So your husband knew?
He was my friend then.
He said he understands.
After marriage, it was next level.
He wanted a cookie-cutter wife.
He would tell me what to wear,
how to look, what to eat,
why not make new friends,
why not keep old ones,
et cetera, et cetera.
-So how did it end?
-My daughter, Tara.
Thank God for her.
Because when she turned 18,
she pulled me out of that misery.
She reminded me of my strengths.
She became that
best friend I never had.
And she knows?
She knows.
You're so much stronger than you know.
Over 35% of the population
is under the age of 25.
You're the future of this country.
Our party might be old,
but our ideology must be new.
Then say something new.
Your party has been singing the same tune
for the last 100 years.
This is not a tune. Please let me finish.
Do you have anything real to say?
Otherwise, ask your PR
to tweet it for you.
Please. You have to
Please listen to me. Let me finish
Wait a second!
Give Dhananjay a chance.
You want him to listen to you, right?
So then speak to him.
Question him, argue with him,
don't heckle him.
You rightly pointed out that
he didn't say anything new.
So, here's your chance.
Ask for answers.
You serious?
I'm Damini Rizvi Roy, and it is said
on social media that I never smile.
I'm serious. Ask him.
So, Dhananjay, sir
This isn't a classroom.
-Call him Dhananjay.
-Okay.
-Dhananjay, hi.
-Hi.
Thoughts on dissenting universities?
Well, I think
dissent is crucial in a democracy.
Sorry, it's a little hot.
Make no mistake about it.
This is a democracy.
You students are
the leaders of tomorrow.
If we don't listen to you today,
then tomorrow,
the nation won't listen to us.
I see you.
Feel free to grill him.
You have my full support.
-Thank you.
-Please.
A lot of outdated courses are being
reintroduced in the universities.
Your thoughts?
I think it's ridiculous.
I mean, some say
there's no such thing as global warming.
And others say that if life and death
are in the hands of God,
why go to a doctor?
I spoke to the Vice Chancellor.
He promised me that all controversial
and outdated courses will be dropped.
So, don't worry.
There'll be no Diploma
in Occult Sciences here.
It's crazy.
They're heckling me one minute
and now they want selfies.
Damini,
you're amazing.
It's you, Dhananjay. All you.
Celebration drink?
Come on.
One drink.
You'll wear this?
Very funny. That's not for me.
That's for Rajan.
I'm helping him out.
His wife used to do all his shopping.
And the poor man
has awful taste in clothes.
What did you get for me?
I haven't bought you anything since 2005.
You hate my taste.
When did I say that?
And how can you
when you're busy with Rajan?
Rajan this, Rajan that,
Rajan, that's all I've been hearing.
I'm nothing to you now.
Let's do
our four-cheese pizza and a movie?
Keep your stupid pity-party with you.
So, now I get the true meaning
of, "I'm my own favorite person."
Because there's no one else
to compliment me.
Thank you for being so silent
and unresponsive tonight.
I mean, who cares.
The world is anyway ending.
Hi. Rahul?
Of "you might've heard my name" fame.
You killed it tonight.
Is the offer
for something stronger still valid?
Okay, say something funny?
Sometimes I wonder
if sex is even worth it.
-So much work and
-Be nasty.
This wall is just like you.
-Empty.
-Nastier.
Do you know the difference
between kissing and slobbering?
Are you a man or a Pomeranian?
Shit.
My standards have really dropped.
Does your dating app
have a ten-year-old picture of you?
Not like someone
is gonna swipe right on you.
You look like you don't even have enemies.
I bet your colleagues
have an office Whatsapp group
without you in it.
What happened?
You asked me to be nasty.
Yeah!
But nasty in the bed.
Like bad girl nasty. Not nasty to me.
Don't you have a heart?
-Okay, I'm gonna
-Not so fast.
At least say sorry to me.
Try to comfort me.
"The warrior princess won the battle.
"She made her village proud.
"And she was able to provide
for her family
"protection from the enemies
attacking them."
Story over, Dada?
-Sleepy time, come.
-I want to sleep with Dada.
But Dada sleeps on the couch.
Why?
Why? Because we are divorced now.
-Yeah.
-But we live together.
Do you want to sleep with Mama?
With Mama and Dada.
Okay. That's enough.
-You're not the boss of us, okay?
-Come on.
Let's go to sleep!
You know, Anj, right now in my life,
this is the only thing going right.
You, me, Arya.
You and Kavya love each other.
That's all that matters.
Then why is she not taking my calls?
You know, in my life,
my work, my marriage, I've only fucked up.
How do you manage this every time?
When will I grow up?
Adulting is hard, Varun.
Shashank and you? All good?
As I said,
adulting is hard, Varun.
-Touché.
-Mama.
-Arya baby?
-Bad dreams.
Let me adult.
Come on.
Let's go to bed
and scare those crazy monsters.
Assholes!
What is "cunty"?
A cuss word, sir.
-And "Dykay"?
-Dyke.
What does that mean?
A derogatory word for lesbian.
Lesbian?
Lesbian, meaning?
Girls who like girls.
What the fuck?
Simply say gay!
At least 377 is out.
Or what?
Would you arrest me?
Trying to teach me my job?
Yes. I am.
What do you mean?
-Who do you think you are?
-Hold on.
-What
-Talk to her!
-Seriously, what the fuck! Get off me!
-Okay!
Why'd you pull me out?
You'd be in jail,
and I can't handle the studio accounts.
Is this a joke to you?
I spent seven days in jail
because of my rage.
Rage isn't the answer, it's the problem.
I know what's better.
Come on.
Gimme a left-right.
That's it, left-right.
Brilliant. Left-right. That's it.
Left-right.
Left-right. That's it. One more.
That's it. One more.
Harder! That's it.
That's it. Turn. Move, move.
Keep the guard up.
Keep the guard up. Ready?
Now give me a right-duck-right.
Come on, keep the guard up.
Hey, keep your guard up.
Okay.
You want more?
Come on. Harder.
I'm so sorry. Sorry!
The students had too many questions.
Hi! How are you?
-How is the family?
-Work comes first.
I'm so sorry.
So sorry.
There were endless questions.
Shall we?
But Damini hasn't eaten yet.
-Please order something.
-Sure.
Hi. Can I have the
How was the anniversary party?
The Sethnas' invited
all the Parsis they knew.
But still, only a few people came.
Sad, no?
There are just
70,000 Parsis left in India.
Now,
you two have to do something.
-Get married.
-Dad, please.
You two
have had a fight or what?
No, everything is fine.
-Sure?
-Yeah.
Everything is all right.
The live feed ended in the evening.
What took you so long?
We were discussing strategies.
Over a single malt?
I can smell it on your breath.
Is that a problem?
I have a problem with lies.
I'm sorry.
Why, Damini?
I don't know.
I should've told you. I'm sorry.
You keep saying sorry these days.