Girlfriends Guide To Divorce (2014) s03e05 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce" I'm on to you, sneaking booze in your water bottle.
Ethan, get over here.
Drink this.
- It's water.
- Thanks.
And thank you, Jo, for the vote of confidence.
[horn blares, siren wails.]
Have you been drinking, ma'am? Okay, relax.
I'm on a bike.
I'm gonna have to ask you to take a breathalyzer test.
[whimpers.]
- I'm Phoebe.
- Gemma.
Gemma Tucker? I know that you are freaked out about money.
- What's your point? - You don't need Gemma.
You just think you do.
Hey, weren't you supposed to be on a chopper? - [phone chimes.]
- Gemma wants to meet me in L.
A.
I have it.
You should write a romance novel.
As in soft porn? You have had a lot of sex.
Make that legwork count.
Why is the coach so tightly wound? He's going through some divorce stuff.
He's a mess.
Just seems like baseball's all hard lines.
There's a line in here, too.
We can't Cross the line.
[rock music.]
I've been running for so long [moaning.]
I gave up trying to catch my breath I feel that heat is getting strong - Wait, stop, stop, stop, stop.
- Why? If we don't stop now, we're not gonna stop.
I said hey take me all the way down Show me where to rest my head - Superstitions are the worst.
- Oh, my God.
- What was I thinking? - I don't know.
It was your idea.
Oh, God.
[moaning.]
Don't worry, I'll hold the runner at third.
[phone rings.]
Damn, practice.
- What? No.
- Oh, my God.
Come back here.
Come back! No, I really gotta go.
[sighs.]
That is so unfair.
You can't see between the lines Yeah, you're fine.
This is a problem.
And all the eyes are faded black This is fun.
I like keeping secrets with you.
I like a lot of things with you.
I, um What? I got used to being unhappy.
I almost forgot.
Yeah, well, welcome to the upside of divorce.
Wish I could take you out.
Buy you a steak, drink in a fancy glass.
We can't because why? If the team parents find out about us, I play your kid, they're screaming favorites.
- So boring.
- I yell at him, they think we're fighting amongst each other.
- So boring, so boring.
- Other kids are teasing him.
I know, what happens at Abby's stays at Abby's.
For now.
Okay, well, go.
Just go.
Get your beautiful, beautiful butt out of my house.
Lilly is gonna pick Charlie up at practice, and I want to finish this chapter before I have to go get him.
What's this book about anyway? Uh, hello, I am not ready to tell you that.
Superstitious.
- Um I can get it.
- Stop it! - You have inspired me.
- I can see that.
Yeah.
- I'll see you at pick-up? - Yeah.
Will you be mean to me again in front of other people? 'Cause that's so hot.
Extra mean, promise.
Let the devil come and make my bed Oh, cold.
So cold.
And yet so hot.
I said hey take me all the way down Let the devil come and make my bed Whoa-oh-oh Let the devil come and make my bed Let the devil come and make my bed Whoa-oh-oh Let the devil come and make my bed Whoa-oh-oh Hey, Z, check it.
I got this crazy burn from the deep fryer.
Kinda looks like Trump, right? Whoa.
That is, like, hot.
- Really? - Oh, uh, no.
I mean, hot because it looks like it hurts.
Maybe it's infected.
I think I have antibiotic ointment in my backpack.
Hey, Jo, you got a minute? Are you watching this crap? Who flirts with antibacterial goo? Our daughter has zero game.
It's called being shy, which is nothing you've ever experienced.
- No.
- So ease up a little.
All right.
Anyway, so listen, I've been going over our books, and we're not even breaking even 1:00 to 3:00 P.
M.
You think I don't know that? I'm thinking about closing shop during those hours.
Or we host A.
A.
meetings every afternoon.
A.
A.
meetings? Are you drunk now? Hear me out.
There are hundreds of meetings in L.
A.
every day, and a lot of them are held in places just like this.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
- It's good money.
Because addicts in recovery love two things, coffee and sugar.
Plus we're in Venice.
Where the addicts outnumber the pigeons, but, I mean, is it worth it? All we need is a secretary to lead the meetings.
Oh, sure, I'll order whatever that is right up.
Jo, I'm saying I'll do it.
Okay, yeah.
- Y-yeah? - Yeah.
- Okay.
You actually want to? - Yeah.
No, I've been thinking about it, and I need to log some meetings, and if it's good for me and our business My business.
- Your business.
- Mm-hmm.
We'll try it out.
See if it sucks.
All right, that's the attitude.
Hmm.
[rock music.]
That loft was amazing.
It's the perfect design for artists.
That's the idea.
We're building more in New York, Chicago, Nashville.
Investor dinner, my place tomorrow night.
You know you're my plus one, right? - Really? - Absolutely.
To everything, please.
I am so glad we are hanging, lady.
Me, too.
You are the only person in my life that is not insane.
Thank you.
That's a big deal, and I need you by my side like whoa.
I wish I had half your ambition.
Honestly, it was a fight and a half to get here.
I had a lot of people trying to tear me down.
Uh, this is not the car that we can in just My bodyguard took that one home, silly.
My friend Tulah sells vintage cars, so she gave me this.
I gotta take it for a spin so the paparazzi can snap me in it.
Who are you? - Let's ride.
- Oh, my gosh.
That's the sound of my heart This is a social club We're scared of chipping off Who's gonna call my bluff Will I ever be enough Spin around, spin around Jordan, dinner's ready.
Screens away.
And set the table.
I will Put food on plates, I got it.
What's that smell? [sighs.]
Oh, son of a Dang it.
The stupid timer is busted again.
Oh, it's fine.
It's all right.
I got lots of food.
Plus I made dessert.
I hope you don't think I'm washing all these dishes.
Try that cornbread.
Don't look at it.
Try it.
[imitates choking.]
Oh, somebody's got jokes.
It's a little smoky, but I'll live.
Hey, honey, how was practice? I gotta pee, I gotta pee.
Okay.
What are you doing over there? I'm helping.
I'm being helpful.
Not normal baseball mom behavior.
No one helps.
Don't draw attention.
Okay, good.
I was tired anyway, so Um, I am still vibrating from earlier.
Vibrations.
So when can we make another time to hang? I got kids stuff all weekend and gotta prep for the big game coming up.
Hey, you want us to keep the winning streak going, right? Yeah.
Whatever you say, Coach.
[indistinct chatter.]
Heather, you're the one who let him have a third hot dog.
Because Caleb was pigging out, and you know that Davey does whatever Caleb does.
- I know, they're so cute.
- What's so cute? What are you guys talking about? - Oh, hi, Abby.
- Hi, hi, hi.
Heather's son, Davey, got really sick at the Dodger game the other day.
Oh, no, how mortifying.
Meh, kids get sick.
Happens.
- Yeah, well, whatever.
I've been there with the public vomiting.
[chuckles.]
So you guys went to the Dodgers game together? Like, as a group? Like, just a few of us.
You know, Ilene's husband has box seats.
- Oh, wow.
- He's an agent.
Oh, ugh.
I mean You know, Charlie really loves the Dodgers.
So if you're ever going again Yeah, we'll We'll let you know.
The box is kind of in demand.
Yes.
Ladies, tomorrow after practice.
- See you then.
- Yes.
- Bye.
- Bye.
[overlapping chatter.]
Okay, go Warriors.
Yes! - The Dodgers? - [sighs.]
Box seats.
Please don't take it personally.
- It's just - I don't.
I mean, really, I don't.
I just want Charlie to fit in, so No, he's doing great.
The other kids really like him.
- Really? - Really.
Oh, my God, that is so nice to hear.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
- Um Have I done something to offend them, or No, no, no.
It's just this group has been together for a long time, and parents can be clique-ier than the kids.
You're the new mom on the block.
- Right.
- So just give it a beat.
I'm gonna give it a beat.
Oh, maybe three beats.
- [laughing.]
Okay.
- Okay.
All right, Abby.
- Bye.
- I'll see you.
Those moms sound like uppity butt wipes.
I don't know, I just want Charlie to I don't want him to miss out.
You know, I thought I was making progress, but - Hey, we love you.
- Thank you.
And it's so nice to be with my ladies.
I mean, just to have some face time with - Ha! - Hmm.
At least two of you.
So what's happening with Frumpkis and his business plan? Wait and see attitude.
A.
A.
at a bakery is kind of a genius idea.
Which drives me insane.
Every time he comes up with a great idea, I want to punch him in the face.
I know, but it's so good that he's getting his act together.
But the whole I don't know how he's gonna be open at a meeting with you there.
That just feels a little cozy.
Well, how can I say no? At least he wants to get help.
- You've gotta be kidding.
- Oh, my God, the two of you.
I am literally gonna take those phones away.
I'm sorry, just Gemma is telling me the funniest - Enough with Gemma! - Gemma! Wow, do I talk about her that much? - Yes! - A little bit.
- Yep.
- I'm sorry.
She's just so free and live-in-the-moment and - Wow.
- Ooh.
Okay, I'll cool it.
I'll cool it, I'll cool it on the Gemma situation.
I will join the land of the living with this one, Delia, and I may have a felony on my record.
- All: What? - What does that mean? Wait, I'm confused? I thought you got nailed for drunk cycling.
Yeah, well, I may have had another DUI back in college when I got drunk on absinthe and smashed my boyfriend's car into an orange grove.
You might want to consider those A.
A.
meetings - at the bakery.
- It was a million years ago, and I still graduated summa cum laude.
But two DUl's in the state of California can mean some really serious jail time.
Um, don't you work at a law firm? Perhaps someone there could help you.
No, not an option.
I'm still not past the slut shaming.
And anyway, if I took it to one of the partners, they would just tear me to shreds.
So I found the one lawyer that no one knows.
She's 25.
Fresh out of kindergarten.
She just never picks up the phone, and she just texts emojis.
- Oh.
- Emojis.
Can I get you anything else? - Yes.
- I got this.
Ladies, since you're all crazy bitches, breakfast is on me today.
- Oh, my God! - Ohh! 'Cause mama got a raise.
- What? - Wow! So enjoy the free eats while you can.
You mean from now on, fancy pants.
Ha ha.
No, can't start overspending.
Oh, come on, you can at least buy yourself - one nice thing.
- Yeah.
Yeah, because I deserve it, don't I? - You do.
- Thanks, Phebes.
- Mm-hmm.
- Actually, I've been thinking about getting a really nice stove.
Like, really nice.
Like what are you talking about? Viking.
- Oh.
- Yeah, girl! Thank you for reacting like that.
What is happening? Um, hello? Hypocrite much? - Sorry, it's Coach.
- Okay.
Oh, I'm back in for this.
Details, I need details.
Um, just going most of the way but not all is ridiculously sexy.
Oh, Abby and Mike, a haiku.
Gleeful dry-humping makes all the sisters say huh.
Just bone already! - Yeah! No, but that is what makes it so incredible.
I mean, don't you remember foreplay until you felt like you wanted to explode? I feel like one of the characters in my book, so - That is pretty hot.
- ETA on the MILF porn? I'm about to finish a draft and I'm It's like tantric writing.
Mike gets me all hot and bothered, and then the pages just flow out of me.
- Wow.
- Wow.
But I am dying for more inspiration.
It's just that he can't meet up until post-game Tuesday, which is like a lifetime away.
So come up with a reason to see him sooner.
I'm sure there's some kind of baseball thing that you desperately need him for.
Ooh.
Yeah.
I I could have people over at my place for the team, like a party, promote team unity.
I could have everybody there, parents, the kids, the coach.
And maybe I could finally win over those judgmental skanks with my mad hostessing skills.
Oh, seriously sweetie, why do you care about what those moms think? Really, I don't, but my book is set in the baseball world, the whole travel team thing.
That's what makes it unique, and so I I do need the juicy mom stories.
- I need in.
- And party bonus.
You get to brush shoulders with your honey.
- Yeah.
- You can look at him from across the room, but no touching.
And he catches you eating a mini quiche.
Mm.
The egg just lingers on your lips.
- He wants to go to you.
- But he can't.
He wants to lick it off, but no, he can't.
- No.
- Sipping on his wine cooler.
- Wine cooler.
No.
- Restless.
Holding back his urges.
Oh, Abby.
This is like the best chapter ever.
- Abby, I have to be invited.
- Of course you're invited.
Of course, I would love for you to come.
We would all love for you to be there.
- Who else wants to come? - Um, I can't.
I have a I gotta go shop for a stove.
Okay, Jo? I'm waiting to see him in hardcover.
Thank you.
So wait, where are you headed now? Gemma's.
She bought three more pieces from Damien Fields.
So I'm going to her house to help her figure out where to hang them.
I can't believe this is actually a job.
Is it though? Of course.
The more she trusts me, she more she's gonna take JD's work seriously.
Oh, by the way, I have a kitchen guy for you.
- A kitchen guy? - Uh-huh.
Is that a real thing? Actually he's a kitchen magician.
I'm just buying a stove, Phoebe.
People do it every day.
I'm gonna go online or go in a store and just Babs, trust me, he will find you the stove of your dreams.
And then he will install it for you.
Let me just call him.
What kind of price are we talking about? 'Cause I am not the Barefoot Contessa.
He's innovative.
He has a vision.
Can I just bring him to your house? Please say yes, say yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Just say it.
- Fine.
- Yes.
- Only if he cuts me a deal.
- Okay.
- And you promise - not to say "Gemma.
" - Done.
Gemma.
Hey, um, I like your shoes.
Are they new? Not really.
Yeah, I've had them for a while.
Oh, um, I meant your shirt.
I like it.
Zooey, Jade and I are gonna go to the Mosaic Tile House for a school thing.
Do you want to come? Um, no, I have to study.
- Oh, okay.
- Hey, I'm Ethan.
Lilly.
Hey, is that a tattoo? No, no, I wish.
No, I kinda burned myself.
- It's totally Trump.
- Right? Yeah.
I have a scar.
My idiot brother hit me with his bike when I was 11.
- I I have a - Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
- scar.
Lilly, could you tell your mom that the cake she ordered for the baseball thing is ready for pickup tomorrow.
Or I could drop it off on my way home, if it's easier.
Okay, yeah, go ahead.
Bye.
Catch you guys later.
All right, sweetie, bye.
You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I know that look.
You've got the hots for Ethan.
Is it that obvious? I'm pathetic.
- No, no.
- You are not pathetic.
- You are beautiful and amazing.
- Yes, you are, you are.
He's a catch, but you guys are in the friend zone, so you have to wake him up.
It's okay to be a little aggressive.
Aggressive how? Well, take this lug over here.
When I was 19, your father was a freaking stud.
- It's true, I was smoking.
- Mm-hmm, yeah, he had a vibe.
Very Tom Cruise in "Risky Business.
" Sexy, despite the fact that he's a tiny, tiny man.
Okay, moving right along.
Well, I was tongue-tied around him.
- She was a total weirdo.
- Yeah.
What did you do? - She tricked me.
- Mm-hmm.
I was sort of fooling around with a mutual friend of ours.
Oh, all of NYU was.
Sharon.
- She sat on everything.
- Eww.
Long story short Anyway, I got over my bullshit, I asked him out, he said yes, we had a lovely time.
What I'm saying is Ethan doesn't see you.
Be bold.
Okay.
Got it.
Mm-hmm.
Bold.
Bold! [cheering.]
- Warriors! Warriors! Ladies.
- Ladies.
- Oh, hi, Abby.
So the kids have been working so hard that I thought it would be great to have a little fun this weekend.
So, I had an idea.
Mommy, Mommy, I told them all about the party.
They're all coming.
All of them.
Wow, okay.
That's great.
So that's what I was actually going to say.
I was thinking that, you know, we could have all the people over at our house, the whole team, parents, siblings.
Might have been nice to check with us before you rope in the kids.
Oh.
That sounds really nice, Abby.
We'll be there.
Yeah, of course, we'll be there, too.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Okay, great, great.
I will tomorrow I will email you the address.
- Sounds good.
- Okay.
All right, bye.
Heard two-eight.
You're throwing a party tomorrow.
I am, right? A little fun team activity.
A little bonding.
Plus, bonus, you and I get to be in the same room together.
Party.
Yay.
It's a bad idea.
Oh.
[gasps.]
Okay, this place is adorable.
Thanks, Phoebles.
I bought it before I was married.
Paid for it before Jordan was born.
I've thought about moving, but he's a sentimental kid.
Oh, I love the windows and the light in here.
I'm obsessed with Nancy Meyers' movies, so that's kind of what I'm working towards.
It's come a long way, but I'm not quite there yet.
I cannot wait to dig into this with you, but I have to remember to send before and after pictures to Gemma because she really And strike one.
By the way, your friend is late.
I hate when people are late.
Barbara, just chill.
It is rush hour in Los Angeles.
What is that smell? Are you baking pie? Maybe.
- Hello? - Oh, we're back here.
No, he did not just walk into my house without knocking.
Just be nice.
He's a genius.
Just trust me.
- Hey, Phoebe, my girl.
- Hi! Hello.
Mwah, Mwah.
Thank you for the introduction.
- Of course.
- Hey, hey, your place is cute.
Gee, thanks.
I'm Darrell.
Nice to meet you.
Well, Darrell, since you took it upon yourself to enter my home without knocking, I feel I need to make it clear to you that this is a shoe-free environment.
So if you would be so kind, off.
I'm Barbara.
[hip-hop music.]
You shake it, shake, shake it for me You shake it, shake, shake it for me You shake it, shake, shake it for me Two-eight's Mom, you suck at this.
Oh, don't you underestimate me, Coach.
Shake, shake it for me Go, go, go, go, go.
All: Ohh! All night Hands in I'm so sorry, team.
I couldn't close it.
Hey, you put in a good effort.
At least you have a beautiful house.
- Thank you.
- Oh, isn't it stunning? Who's your decorator? Actually, I did most of the decorating, with a little help from Remodelista.
I am gonna get you guys some baseball-tinis.
I will help you.
I am sensing a baseball mom thaw.
I know, and those two cubes were the hardest ones to melt.
I'm so glad you're here.
It is so good to have an ally.
It is my pleasure.
And you and that baseball coach Right? Serious heat, during that flip cup thing right there.
He's so competitive.
He loves to win, that guy.
Ah, ah, ah.
Ah.
Go have fun.
Oh, my God, that's his son, Asher.
It's so cute.
Stupid cute.
Baseball-tini! That's baseball martini, if you hadn't figured it out.
Two-eight's Mom, thank you.
Uh, none for me.
I am sober mom today.
Oh, that's right.
Thank you, Linda.
No, thank you for hosting.
This was a really nice idea.
- You're welcome.
- Excuse me.
This was a really nice idea.
Huh.
Okay, calm down.
Well, drink up, Coach.
There's more where that came from.
What? - Place is pretty packed.
- Yeah.
Not bad, Frump.
Okay, I will own it.
You win.
What can I say, toots? I'm kind of a genius.
- What can you say? - I'm gonna clean up and then go sell more stuff to drunks.
Do your thing.
Yeah.
I think I'm gonna sit this one out.
I'm just not really feeling it.
- Wow.
- Oh, come on, Jo.
Just because I'm not in the mood for one meeting does not mean I'm going out on a bender.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay, will you please stop? I'll stop when you tell me what gives.
I don't need to explain myself to you.
Is that right? Yeah, Jo, I'm doing really well.
That's all you need to know.
And here you are giving me bullshit excuses when you should be out there helping yourself like you said you would.
I have been busting my ass here ever since I got back from rehab.
Since you broke out of rehab! Would you listen to yourself? I'm clean, Jo.
I mean, I am really trying.
I'm out there doing the best I can, and you know what? All I'm getting from you is attitude.
You told me you were supposed to go to a meeting every single day and get a sponsor.
Forget about the business.
We were doing fine without you.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Well, then yeah, why don't you clean up? 'Cause I'm out of here.
Fine, bye.
Okay, do you go to every farmer's market in L.
A.
and buy out their kale? Are you a kale hoarder? Wow, you just love to make fun of me because of my food.
That's, like, your favorite hobby.
Making fun of you about anything is my favorite hobby.
Okay, Coach, you need to get back to your team.
Team's fine.
Well, I am the hostess, and I need to get back to my party.
Well, I'm one of your guests, and I need a few minutes of hosting.
In private.
[rock music.]
The laundry room, it's like our specialty.
Yeah.
[chuckles.]
[gasps.]
Oh, my God.
- Sorry, I thought this was a bathroom.
- It This is bad.
Really bad.
I'm sure this is not as bad as we think it is.
We had a few drinks, everybody's enjoying the party, and Linda is a rational human, and she's a parent, and she gets it.
Abby, one of our kids could have walked in.
Oh, shit.
Okay, um, well, we just need to talk to her and tell her not to say anything Well, it's better it comes from me.
I've known Linda a long time.
I'll handle this.
So as you can see, I have renovated a lot of kitchens.
Al Molina's here.
Jen and Ben's beach house in Kauai.
Look, it's all gorgeous.
But what I'm looking for is six burners, two ovens, a high place to hang my pots, that's it, at the right price.
And I hear you, but let's just be clear.
I specialize in things that are high-end.
Products that you just can't go into any store and buy.
And if you look at my portfolio, you see that I install beautiful pieces, from Italy, uh, France.
More French range, La Cornue, with a warming drawer at the bottom.
- That would be so elegant.
- She's right.
A French range in here would be wonderful.
Uh-huh, but I'm not Julia Child, and French isn't really my style, so I know, but Barbara, your kitchen is timeless, and the light in here is so perfect.
Agreed.
The right stove in here would just elevate the whole room.
But what I'm looking for is something contemporary.
[gasps.]
Oh, my God, I have a genius idea.
Let's just rip out the peninsula, move the sink where the stove is, and then you make a floating island.
- Right.
- And the breakfast - Phoebe - That's beautiful.
Okay, I can handle it from here.
Oh, okay.
Uh Well, I'm gonna be late anyways for my investor meeting with Gem - I'm not gonna say her name.
- Uhuh.
- 'Cause I'm learning.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, well, let me know how it goes.
- Okay.
- Bye, Darrell.
- [mouths words.]
- Thank you.
See you, Phebes.
So going with her or do you want to stay? Because, I know what I want.
I'm all ears.
- [oven timer dings.]
- Great.
Would you like some pie? Sure, why not? Oh, Zooey, hi.
Hello.
Hey, I thought Ethan was gonna bring the cake.
He got busy.
Sent me instead.
- Do you want to come in? - No, I gotta go.
And also, I got the impression that you're really not his type.
FYI.
- What? - He likes sportier girls.
Not so Marilyn, you know? Anyway, enjoy the cake.
Hey.
Hey.
I, uh Will you look at me, please? I'm sorry.
How you keep your head straight is none of my business.
You're really helping out here, and I should have never said what I said.
You've been trying.
Zooey sees it, I see it, and I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Kinda killed it, right? - Really? - Yeah.
I mean, we didn't exactly rob a bank, but yeah, it works.
We should keep it up.
The meetings.
Good.
Yeah, I agree.
I know our marriage was a shit show.
But we make a pretty good business team.
We always have.
So no more fighting, okay? Okay.
You look exhausted.
- Well, I am.
- Go rest.
I'll wait here for Zooey.
When she gets back we'll meet you at home.
- You sure? - Sure.
Yeah, go.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
[rock music blares.]
How'd it go? She won't say anything.
Great.
Is that really all you talked about? We're good.
She gave me her word.
Okay.
Everything okay? Yeah, look, I really need to get Asher home.
So, sorry.
Uh, sure.
- I'll call you.
- Okay.
Um, okay.
Hey, let's go.
Bye, Asher.
Mm, damn.
This is probably the best pie I've ever had.
Well, that's very sweet.
And probably true.
Hey, I wanted to apologize for earlier.
You know, Phoebe's my girl, and she can be opinionated, and when we get together, we go hard Look, I know what I want, but I can't splurge.
I'm a single parent, so Hey, understood.
I'm a single parent myself.
Oh.
My wife died a while ago.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You know, at this point my daughter's been with me longer than her mother and I were married.
Look, I'm just saying that to say that when it comes to sacrifice, I get it.
Yeah.
And judging by this pie, you probably cook for your kid a lot.
I do.
I work crazy hours, and it's the only time we get to really spend together, - so, it's important.
- Right.
But the range model you're looking at is It's kind of up there.
So you're not gonna take my business.
Oh, no, I'm definitely gonna take your business.
I think we can come up with some kind of compromise.
Compromise, huh? Yeah.
Okay.
[upbeat music.]
So which one was the one that walked in? That one, Linda.
Gosh, it was the one mom that I got a friend vibe from, and now I blew it.
I just I got so obsessed with my agenda.
I've been trying to keep the sexy train going and feeding the fantasy for my book.
I just Really, I just made a big mess.
Well, at least you got some really juicy chapters for your book.
And what ended up happening with the coach? - Where'd you guys leave it? - I don't know.
It's awkward and weird, and his wall just went straight up, so Well, for what it's worth, I think he's great.
You barely talked to him.
Yeah, but I caught a vibe.
Something between the two of you.
Something, yeah.
I mean, what am I doing? This is dumb.
Nope.
What, a romance novel? Am I kidding myself? No, it is not dumb.
It's gonna be great, because you're writing it.
Thank you.
That's why I wanted to set it in baseball world, you know? Because it felt different.
It felt like It felt elevated, like this smart woman's romance novel.
- Is that an oxymoron? - Abs, move forward.
- Don't overthink it.
- Oh, yeah, too late.
Over-thought and possibly majorly screwed.
So what? Things get screwed.
It doesn't mean they're broken for good.
You seem happy, happier than I've seen in a long time.
I could use some of that.
What are you talking about? You've got your big case.
Oh, please, Ronnie Kline is a nut-job.
- [phone chimes.]
- All day, every day, 24/7.
But I forge ahead through the madness.
Don't we all.
- [laughs.]
- What is that? My infant of an attorney.
120 hours of community service.
Are you kidding me? Oh, sorry.
I mean, on the bright side it's not prison.
She wants to meet.
I have to go.
Oh, what can I do? How can I help? I don't know.
I'll call you.
I have the French homework, and then there's the essay.
- Uh-huh.
- And by the way, I took your advice, and I'm going to be more bold.
- With Ethan? - Yeah.
So thank you.
Anytime.
Hmm.
Mom! [tense music.]
Dad, wake up! Robert.
Robert.
Open your eyes.
Can you hear me? Open your eyes! Honey, call 911.
Come on, I need you to call 911.
It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
Just hurry.
Hurry.
Wake up, come on! Oh, God.
Robert! Bye.
Bye-bye.
Thanks.
Hey, great party.
Oh, thank you.
- Thanks.
- Hope you had fun.
Mommy, can I have a sleepover? Please, please, please, please, please.
Uh, sure, just go up and get your stuff.
- I'll ask his mom.
- Yes! Hey, Abby, thank you.
Hey, Linda, can we just have a talk for just a second? Sure.
Hey, why don't you guys wait for me in the car? I will be right out.
Be there in a minute.
Just, uh, over here.
Over here.
Um, so I know you talked to Mike, and I just wanted to thank you personally as a friend for your discretion.
- I will be discrete.
- Thank you.
But you put me in a really awkward position.
I know.
All the other moms have been talking about you and Coach a lot, and I've been defending you.
I said there is no way Mike could go there right now with everything.
With everything.
I've known Mike a really long time.
He and Colette and I go way back.
Yeah, Colette.
And everybody knows that they have had the toughest year, and they are still in the thick of it.
I mean, I can't imagine splitting up with someone and living under the same roof, because I can't Oh, shit.
He didn't tell you.
Uh, no yeah, no.
Yeah, he no, I just it's He told me.
It's just really weird to hear out loud.
You know, but I'm sure it's just a It's a money thing, so Maybe.
I mean, she says it's more the kids, but whatever.
It just all sounds like hell to me.
Anyway, I - Right, thank you.
Okay.
- This was so lovely.
Okay.
[machinery beeping.]
Hey, take it easy.
Don't get up too fast.
Where's Zooey? She's in the waiting room.
Did she, uh You had to get your stomach pumped in the apartment, so yeah, she saw.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I just don't understand what happened.
I need help.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I mean, when things are good, I want to drink.
When things are bad, I want to drink.
- We're gonna get you help.
- It's killing me.
We're gonna get you help.
But you've got to do it for real this time.
Yeah.
- I know.
- For Zooey.
For me.
No more running, I promise.
Good.
I'm the only one who gets to kill you.
You got it? I cannot believe we missed your investment dinner.
It's fine.
Those guys have their heads so far up each other's asses, they'll barely notice.
And besides, I mean, I do what I want, when I want.
It's the joy of me, babe.
Well lucky you.
What did you mean earlier by what you said about people tearing you down? - Did I say that? - Yeah, you did.
- No.
- Yeah.
- So serious, Gem.
- I know.
What? Hmm? I mean, growing up I felt like a prop.
You know, part of the big, happy family charade that my dad would put on for clients and investors.
Shit messed me up.
I mean, I had everything, you know? I just I felt kinda empty.
I get that.
I mean, I get the empty part.
I started modeling way too young.
Must have been confusing.
It wasn't the happiest childhood.
Yep.
Well y'know Here's to making it out alive.
Yes, to making it out alive.
[both chuckle.]
Oh.
[belches.]
- Excuse me.
- Wow.
- That is - That's pretty.
Too much milkshake.
I don't know, sometimes you just have to let it all out.
- Let it out.
- Let it out, girl.
[phone chimes.]
- Everything okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sorry, sorry.
[sighs.]
Everything is good.
Hey, you good? You look a little disappointed.
I still can't think of one real chef that cooks on an electric stove.
Well, first of all, it sounds much sexier when you say "convection.
" Oh.
Besides this model is in a league of its own.
And you get the two ovens, right? At least it's new.
I'll manage.
- You'll manage? - Yeah.
Thank you for not taking me to the poor house.
Of course.
Now my guy will be here to install it early next week.
All right? And you call me if you need anything.
All right, thank you.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait one minute.
Uh, you okay? Yeah, but I Oh, I am tripping.
Look, I have a client who just bought a brand-new Viking.
It's for his second guest home.
Eww, gross.
Yeah, he is a douche, but he ended up going with something else, so What are you saying? I'm saying that if I talk to him I bet he would sell you that oven at a used price.
Oh, wow, look at that smile.
All right, well, let me work on it.
I'm going to get you that Viking.
Wow.
Thank you.
You got it.
And maybe we can get a drink or something.
Hold me close Viking or not? A little while longer Yeah.
I'd like that.
I'm exposed Great.
I'll call you.
Stripped by your design I'm looking forward to it.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Uh, I guess I better go put on my shoes, huh? Yeah, maybe.
- Okay, yeah.
- Okay.
Oh-oh-oh Why don't you stay one night [phone chimes.]
I've got - All night - We've got time - Hold me tight - Going hard Going hard, oh