How to Sell Drugs Online: Fast (2019) s03e05 Episode Script

1
Last week, the police raided
a drug lab in Holland,
but instead of arresting drug dealers
they accidentally handcuffed
three German tourists.
Yeah, what can I say? The real drug
dealers are still on the run from the law.
"A drug dealer is on the loose."
Or as they like to say in Holland,
"a drug dealer".
Lenny, I know you've probably blocked me,
and I get why you did that,
but fuck, man!
The Dutch aren't actually in prison.
The tourists thought
they were in an escape room
and not in a drug lord's hideout.
Unfortunately, they were all arrested
That's too bad,
but for escape room fans,
absolute jackpot, right?
Everything went perfectly.
It's a happy ending!
Yeah, I changed my mind about the party.
I'll be there,
but I'm not wearing a costume.
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
These are A Levels.
In the German school system,
the first 18 years of your life
are focused on them.
They're coming for you!
ED-FLIX
CANCELLED AFTER 13 SEASONS
From the makers of the GCSEs
and the BTECs,
the final season A Levels.
After 12 seasons,
the grand finale is here.
More exciting than ever before.
- Spoiler alert
- Fritzi Neuhaus won't make it.
Anton Kollisch High School
in Rinseln presents
A-Binge Watch!
People party as if
it's the greatest thing
they'll ever achieve in their lives.
They wrap classrooms in tinfoil,
drink themselves blind in the canteen
- What do you want?
- Water!
put way too much effort
into their costumes.
Well, most of them do.
Or they shag random people
in the sports hall
- who they barely spoke to the whole time.
- It's itching.
- Can't you take it off?
- No, no!
As if good A Level results
guarantee you an amazing, successful life.
Bullshit! I mean, what do we think
became of all these idiots here?
Well, I actually wanted to work
in marketing,
advertising and stuff, or become a vet.
After A Levels, I spent a year in Brazil
doing a work and travel programme
and I tried ayahuasca for the first time.
When I was 40, I moved back in
with my mum in Rinseln.
But now I know
what really matters to me in life.
Engineer, programmer, CEO
I was up for absolutely anything,
but my parents, not so much.
They wanted me to do something
more stable,
and now I work as a waitress
in a cocktail bar. Yeah.
I joined my local fire brigade
as a volunteer.
And one night after a party,
I drove home really drunk.
I actually came off the road
and flipped the car and, um
I died.
What are you looking at? It's true.
What have all you lot accomplished then?
You all passed your A Levels.
Can you stop ruining
everyone's fun?
Moritz, we passed our A Levels!
So come on, have a good time!
Instead of taking that
pseudo-philosophical shitty
bird's-eye view you always take.
I don't do that!
Ah!
Vodka!
I don't think mixing alcohol
and painkillers is a good idea.
Moritz, mate, I'm good!
- Hey, guys!
- Mm-hmm.
How's it going?
- Hmm?
- Hmm.
Sorry that I just abandoned
you guys like that, okay?
Yeah, and I'm sorry
that I didn't trust you.
I had good reason, but I was wrong.
You're a huge Baywatch fan, yeah?
Yeah, you spend all your time watching it.
Totally your kind of thing.
Admit you just wanted to have
a reason to show off your six-pack.
- Yeah, I wanted to show off my six-pack.
- Hey, Dan!
Congratulations on your exam results!
Sick!
Yeah! Yeah!
3.7, guys. Precision landing!
Who are you supposed to be, anyway?
Steve Jobs?
No, Smoke Monster from Lost.
Wow, Lost. How old were you
when that came out? Three?
You're never too young to think
the ending of Lost sucks.
It's vodka.
What? It's not a good idea
to mix alcohol with painkillers.
- That's what I said.
- I get it, Mummy and Daddy.
Let's just all relax
and have a good time, yeah?
Come on, guys.
We passed our fucking A Levels!
A-A-A-A Levels!
A Levels!
A Levels!
A-A-A-A Levels!
A Levels! A Leve-e-els!
- Hey, Fritzi.
- Hi, Fritzi.
We're sorry, by the way.
Yeah, he's really sorry.
Why? For hitting me over the head
with a gun?
Or because I didn't pass my exams?
Or because I didn't pass my exams because
you hit me over the head with a gun?
Nah, I'm only joking. Any chance of me
passing my exams is long gone.
Not a big deal.
Yeah, for real.
A Levels are completely overrated.
In Germany,
complete idiots end up going to uni.
You'll be fine.
You're funny and clever.
And with a vocational training,
doors will definitely open for you.
Of course! Right.
A shot for the A-star boy!
Um Uh, Fritzi, I don't drink alcohol.
Moritz, do you really not understand
how unique this moment is?
Okay, I'll just have to explain it
in your language.
- That's not permanent marker, right?
- It'll wash off. So
- Here on the x-axis
- That's the y-axis.
it shows how cool we are.
I'm here, you're here.
- You don't have to flex.
- I'm not flexing.
And gradually, other things
start to count as well,
stuff like success,
power, money and all that.
And this is the only point
where complete and utter nerds like you
cross with people like me.
Just one moment
where we are both on an equal level,
and that's here.
And that's why I'm drinking
with everyone that's passed
one shot.
Down.
Down it!
Down it! Down it! Down it!
Also, if you're gonna be way too busy,
I can go and find someone else
to have fun with, yeah? Ciao-ee!
Where are my favourite A-star students?
Gotta go.
Bla!
- What's wrong?
- Huh?
What's the matter?
You're being so un-Moritz-like?
Listen, a happy Fritzi
is a silent Fritzi, okay?
Or do you want us to get caught now?
There's always a master plan, eh?
Come on, let's celebrate the end of exams
and just pretend for a few seconds
we're normal teenagers.
One, two, three
Choose your fighter
You suck ♪
Get back, right here
I'm in the mood ♪
It's cool, you're good ♪
Kept it inside ♪
You experience
every feeling more intensely.
Freedom.
Tenderness.
Love.
TAKE PAINKILLERS!
I'm gonna grab my pills
from the car or I won't last much longer.
What's going on with Kira?
Who the fuck are you
and what have you done with Moritz?
You've only had one drink.
Yeah, so,
she had some issues
with her parents and the police,
some kind of bullshit excuse.
I blocked her.
I've got no idea what's going on.
You two make such a good couple.
It'll work out.
She won't find anyone else as good as you.
Choose your fighter ♪
What's with you?
Choose your fighter ♪
Congratulations!
Holy shit, you scared me.
The Smoke Monster from Lost? Again?
Wait.
Go on then! Woo!
So
- Better?
- Mm-hmm.
Sorry that I've been so distant
these last couple of weeks.
It's okay. I deserved it. I should have
been honest with you from the start.
I googled it.
Do you know how many people apply
to study journalism in this country?
- Ten thousand! And they accept
- Three hundred. I know.
But you have to stand out.
So, I I thought about it and
you can write about me
and submit my story.
Really? Are you sure?
Yeah. You'll definitely get in with it.
Yeah, well,
you haven't even read my article yet.
Uh yeah, you're right. How could I have?
I've read your stuff before and always
thought it was exceptionally written.
And this application won't be
the end of it, I mean
my story has too much potential.
I've already been contacted
by loads of journalists and, well
M1000's been contacted.
You could have the exclusive rights.
And then you could write
an investigative report or a book or
The thing is, there are parts of the story
that you don't know about.
Some big things are happening
at the moment.
The hottest chapter is coming next.
The reclaiming of MyDrugs.
And the rebirth of M1000!
Imagine how good we can have it!
While MyDrugs is turning into the go-to
place to buy drugs on the internet,
I'll be giving you exclusive interviews,
like Superman and Lois Lane!
It'll be great for both of us,
for your career and for my reach as well.
We could potentially really profit
from each other, Lisa.
Just picture it!
But, shh, Lisa!
Nobody can know about this alliance yet.
Fuck everyone else.
We're a team, Lisa.
An undercover team.
Deal?
Um have you been drinking?
Just a shot from Fritzi.
Then I definitely don't want any.
No, come on! There's only one day we're
on an equal level with the cool people
because, well
It's super complicated,
but Fritzi can explain it.
Fritzi?
Fritzi?
Fritzi!
Fritzi?
- Uh Jens?
- Uh-huh?
I have to tell you something.
It's about Moritz.
Shit. Shit.
Shit, shit, shit!
Fuck!
Lenny, we have to get out of here now! Um
Great entrance. Last time,
you said you were gonna be there for me.
Now I'm supposed to rush?
Have you got shit for brains?
The Dutch are on the loose.
They arrested
some random tourists instead.
Fuck.
- Shit, the others!
- Come on, let's go!
I don't want you to think
I'm only being nice
because you have something on us. I
What I'm saying is, you are
Seriously, Dan, come on.
Just spare me the bullshit.
If you want to fuck me again,
here, I'll make an exception.
This will make it more fun.
Um more? Was earlier not
Oh, just more. I meant more fun.
Yeah, but isn't alcohol a
Uh
What did you put in there?
Oh, nothing. Just something that'll yank
the sticks out of those A-star arses.
- Wait, you put our ecstasy in there?
- My ecstasy.
- Fritzi, that's dangerous!
- Don't talk to me about what's dangerous!
You're the ones who sold drugs to
the whole world and almost killed Gerda.
Holy shit, Fritzi! You are so fucked up!
Come back inside. It's fucking great!
I'm gonna get you a drink, okay?
Only one point in time where guys like
you and me can talk on an equal level.
- Sorry, you're dressed as?
- Power Ranger.
Power Ranger. Get it?
Mmm-mate!
Power Ranger!
Hey, Moritz, are you feeling good?
You know you can talk to me
about anything.
Sometimes it's better to talk to someone
who has nothing to do with it.
What do you mean
by talk to me about anything?
Has she said something?
What? No!
I mean, she just said
she's writing something about you.
And it just kind of seemed like
you could really use a buddy to talk to.
Ta-da! Here he is!
Actually, this all began
when Lisa wanted to take a break.
- Moritz!
- Because of that, Lenny
Daniel! Hey! Are you having a good time?
- You haven't seen Lisa, have you?
- No. Mo, we have to talk.
Oh, look, Joseph!
This makes it much clearer.
This is the point in time
where we are all the same.
- Guys! Guys, we have a problem.
- Kira?
- Hey, Joseph.
- Hey. Look! I'm a Power Ranger.
Can you give us a second?
Something important we need to talk about.
None of you have seen Lisa?
Man! Lisa left with her bike an hour ago!
- Lisa did what?
- Moritz, concentrate! We have a problem.
Here!
Oh, look at that. Only yesterday
we were talking about that game.
Now it's popping up as an ad.
They are definitely spying.
Not the ad, Moritz, the article!
- What?
- That's not the Dutch!
We need to get out of here!
- Come on!
- Come on, run!
Moritz, come on!
How shit-faced are you?
What the fuck?
Maarten?
Hey!
Come on.
Come on, move! Move! Go, go, go!
Hey!
Okay, three more!
What do you want? Hey!
- Fuck!
- How shit-faced are you?
Who is that wanker, anyway?
Ah, and where might you be going
in such a hurry, huh?
Agent Fox Mulder.
FBI.
- You're all acting very suspiciously.
- Very suspiciously.
Hey, you!
Have you taken something?
Let me see.
Oh my God, Moritz!
Don't be so boring. I'm just joking, man.
As if he would ever take anything.
Listen, my friend, can I just give you
one piece of advice,
Moritz, just learn to chill out for once.
Yeah?
You don't always have to be so proper, eh?
Hey! You're done with high school.
Fellas! Why don't you party
like everyone else and have a drink?
Congrats on your a Levels. Have fun!
Man, those guys are boring. Moritz!
- Bor-itz! Bor-itz!
- Woo-hoo!
Where are we going? In there?
Okay!
That's your superpower, right?
You're so boring,
nobody believes you'd do anything.
Hey, are you feeling alright?
I'm good.
Okay, everything's good.
I heard you're giving shots
to all the A-star students.
And, well,
I know we're not talking at the moment
and you hate us and all that, but
I should get the whole bottle
seeing as I finished top of the class.
Not a chance.
That did not go well last time.
But I do have some ket if you want.
Okay, what is in that?
Sometimes people just need
a little bit of help to be happy.
I mean, look at those guys!
Simon, for example.
He hasn't spoken to anyone
who's not in the school newspaper team
for three years.
And yet now,
he's been chatting with Iri for an hour.
And Michi?
Did you know he could dance like that?
Neither did he!
And Angie is letting out her sexual side
that she's been repressing for so long.
Maybe some of tonight will stay with them
in this serious, grey,
awful, monotonous place
that all adults seem to end up in.
And you can all thank me later.
And I'm here to have fun tonight.
I'm definitely not gonna let you
ruin that for me,
especially not in your
high-and-mighty protest costume.
Okay, seeing as you're the one who said
something, Tiger King? Seriously?
A coke-head Trump supporter
who tortures animals
and drove a kid to kill himself.
Nice one, Fritzi!
Nice one!
- I've got to get out of here!
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no! Mo!
What are you doing? We can't leave.
What's wrong with you?
Hey, hey! Just look at me.
You're high.
Fritzi put ecstasy in your shots.
- She did what?
- Oh my God.
Look, just calm down. We can't leave.
We'll run straight into Maarten's hands.
- Oh my God.
- Why didn't you say anything?
Earlier?
- That I'm on fucking drugs!
- Mo! Calm down!
This is exactly why! Calm down!
Hey!
You're okay. Everything's gonna be okay.
Just stay calm.
I can't stay in here!
- Hold his hand.
- What?
Just do it.
- Everything's gonna be fine, okay?
- Oh God, I'm on drugs!
Hey, hey!
Everything's okay.
Okay? Hey.
Just breathe in
And out
In through the nose
And out through the mouth
Notice your surroundings.
Let yourself fall.
Feel your lungs expand
as they fill with air.
Feel the floor under your feet.
Feel your weight.
And feel how the muscles
in your body are getting softer.
Headspace.
Hey!
Mo! Hey, hey!
Boom!
Hey!
Mitch Buchannon!
Nice!
Mulder and Scully back there were kind
enough to tell me I could find you here.
Huh
So, guys, are you having a good time?
Nice, nice.
We all know that you only elected me
as class representative
because you're big fans of Obama.
Um just so you know,
that's called "positive racism".
But I was happy to take up
the responsibility, anyway. Woo!
A Levels aren't a matter
of life and death, you know?
But the yearbook kind of is.
So, let's move on
to the official yearbook category winners
for Anton Kollisch High School!
All right, let's start with:
Who is most likely
to join a silent monastery?
Definitely you! Simon!
Who could it be?
Simon Schaffhofer!
Who would have thought?
He's not saying anything.
I think he took something.
And next we have:
Who will never lose their virginity?
- Who could that be?
- Me! Me!
This one goes to
Lina Kamper, congratulations!
Next, who will be the first
to end up homeless?
WHO WILL END UP HOMELESS?
Definitely him, man!
Fritzi! Fritzi!
Fritzi! Fritzi! Fritzi!
Fritzi!
- 100% Fritzi.
- Fritzi! Fritzi!
- Fritzi! Woo-hoo!
- Fritzi! Fritzi!
Yeah, go on then!
Gerda Schwertfeger?
Gerda Schwertfeger?
Just because I'm Black?
Wow, guys! That, I'm afraid,
is just straight-up racism.
You'd think we went
to Otto von Bismarck High School.
Eh?
Okay, no laughs?
Yeah, why don't you google it?
That's your homework.
Ah!
Let's skip over this category
and keep going.
I love you, Gerda!
I love you too!
Right, moving on.
Who will still be living
with their mum at 40?
I couldn't find
the little girl.
He hasn't found Kira, he said.
I know, Dan. I understand that too.
Just chill out,
Dutch isn't that hard to work out.
But how did you people even escape?
Hmm.
Do you really think
our employees can be blackmailed?
- No.
- No. We knew from the beginning.
- Hello?
- We needed you to think
that everything was going
according to plan
- so that you'd tell our, um
- Mole.
tell our mole when the police
would be paying us a visit,
so that we wouldn't be there
and the police would find something else.
And that something was
what we in Holland hate the most:
German tourists.
Not long now.
Whoa! This is exciting, right?
Have you done an escape room before?
No, he said it's a new thing
in Rotterdam.
I think we have to look
for the first clue, yeah?
Oh!
There's a drawer here.
Is that a gun?
I think this is the first clue, guys!
- Wow, wow!
- Let me take a quick photo.
- Wow! Cool effects!
- Hey, hey!
Whoa! Not so fast, officer!
Ooh, wow! This is so realistic.
Whoa! Oh! You're strong!
So, the money and the access codes
for MyDrugs, guys.
Or we'll have to shoot
your stupid, sparrow-sized brains out.
- Does that make sense in German?
- I don't give a shit!
We breathe in and out.
- Feel the ground
- Moritz.
I'm really scared of you.
Honestly.
Really scared.
I've always been.
How you only live for work.
I mean, you basically have
no personal life.
Okay, I admire how you're able
to do that, but
you take it too far.
Really.
I mean, you would
you would all literally kill for the job.
Okay. Okay, I guess maybe I deserve it.
To die.
But Lenny and Daniel?
I mean, I just feel so
so sad.
So sorry. I got them into this
because I wanted to be like you,
and what do they get out of it?
And me?
Tied up, just sitting here!
I don't want to die today.
But if I have to, then here.
Here with my best friends. So do it!
Uh
We're sorry.
Someone put something in Moritz's drink.
Oh.
Okay, so it looks like somebody
has won two categories this evening.
Who will get filthy rich from their app?
And who will end up in a psych ward?
Both go to
Moritz Zimmermann!
The access codes
for your Bitcoin wallet, Moritz!
I programmed an app!
Yeah. If I don't press
this button on my phone
that I have to press every hour
on the hour, every hour,
then all your information
will be sent to the police.
Including photos.
Then do it.
Okay, but only if you let us go first.
It'll be eight o'clock in two minutes.
Do we really want us to wait
and find out if you're lying?
Sorry, I apologise for lying to you.
- I'm sorry.
- Right. Enough.
Next up is the hottest guy.
Who could that be?
- Dan
- Riffert!
Woo!
So?
Let's all just take a breath.
Marlene. Beeke.
We had such a good time together.
And you're such amazing women!
You're beautiful. Talented.
Smart.
Successful.
Do you really want to do this?
I've killed hotter guys
for less, believe me.
- And so
- Shut your mouth.
Otherwise, I'll shove that buoy
up your arse.
Right! The access codes, now!
Who will be the first to die?
Lennard Sander. Oh, guys.
Moritz, whatever you're thinking,
don't do it or we're dead!
One!
Two!
The password is asterisk
No, no!
That burns! Ugh! Was it acid?
- No, actually
- it was acid!
Fuck yeah! Acid!
Okay.
Hmm?
No!
Oh my God. Dad?
- Dad, run!
- Oh, fuck!
Marlene?
I made a bet with Beeke and Marlene
that you'd behave for at least five years
because you saw how things ended for Mia.
Anything for your career, right?
I could probably kill your dad
and you'd keep on working, wouldn't you?
Do you even care about anything anymore?
Do you feel anything? Huh?
Hmm.
Whoa! ♪
I'm filled with rage, boys toys ♪
Wh-wh-wh-wh- ♪
Choose your fighter
You suck ♪
You suck, you suck ♪
Good luck ♪
Choose me, choose me ♪
Choose me ♪
Pretty please
Eh, eh, eh! ♪
Choose your fighter ♪