iCarly s03e05 Episode Script

Why are we in trouble? Hush.
Can't you just tell us what we did? I don't know what you did and if I did know, I still wouldn't tell you, so, ha ha ha ha.
You're always mean.
You're always getting in trouble.
You're always pointing your finger at me like that.
What are you guys doin' here? You tell us.
I'm sure it has something to do with you.
I haven't done one bad thing this week.
Oh, please.
I know you put that big snapping turtle in the teachers' toilet.
You got it on video? No.
Then I didn't do it.
Why are we in trouble? Stop asking that.
Principal Franklin just asked us to bring you all here.
Now, Sam-- attack.
Help! I'm bein' attacked by a teacher.
Help.
Help.
Briggs is tryin' to kill me.
I'm not attacking you.
There's been no attack.
Be quiet, Puckett!.
Hey, hey, people, people, people.
Cheese 'n rice.
You can put your bat away.
Thank you for bringing them here.
Our pleasure.
What are you gonna do to 'em? This is a private matter.
Private matter.
He never lets us watch all the good stuff.
I don't deserve this, you know.
Now Why are we in trouble? You're not.
I just need a favor.
What? You need someone hurt? No.
You want someone to disappear? Because my uncle Carmine can easily-- no.
My daughter's birthday is coming up, and she is a huge fan of iCarly.
Oh.
Well then I bet she's pretty.
So what's the favor? Well, I thought it would be, you know, neat if I could say Happy Birthday to her on iCarly.
Oh, sure.
Really? Uh, the boy doesn't make the decisions, all right? We need to uhh--could you--? Certainly.
Should we? Well, yeah but our next show's already full.
So we'll bump something.
Fine, let's bump Gibby.
Oh no, he got his hair done up all special.
Whatever, we'll make it work.
Okay.
Um, sure, we'd love to have you on the show.
Great! Oh man, Emily's gonna be so excited.
Principal Franklin.
Yes? Here's your ointment.
Thank you.
Everything all right? Yes, it's just that the other day, while using the teacher's restroom, I was bitten by a turtle.
Well bye.
Good luck.
Pantalones.
And five, four, three, two I know, you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there and feel so wonderful it's all for real I'm telling you just how I feel so wake up the members of my nation it's your time to be there's no chance unless you take one and the time to see the brighter side of every situation some things are meant to be so give it your best and leave the rest to me hello? Y'over here.
Oh hey.
Where's Carly and Sam? Upstairs.
Carly's takin' a shower and Sam's up there puttin' Gibby in a toga.
Oh, Gibby.
He got his hair done up all special.
I know.
What's that, new sculpture? Nah.
This is a mechanical bull.
It has all the rage and power of a real bull.
So what's it for? For to ride.
See, you sit on it, and then you power it up and it like whips you all around in a frenzy of mechanical jerks and spasms Ooo.
>> Yeah, and you try to hang on and not get thrown off.
I found it in the junkyard.
What's that stuff stickin' outta the top there? I dunno I'm not sure I've got all the parts in the right places yet.
You want a little preview? Sure, why not? Yeah, have fun sittin' on that.
Now, you all know my brother Spencer is an artist who makes insanely awesome sculptures.
It's true, he do.
Now check out this new one he made just a few weeks ago.
We call it This gigantic pants sculpture was made by Spencer Along with some actual prisoners Two of which tried to escape by-- hello.
Uh-oh, is there another prisoner in there? Nope, that's not a prisoner, it's our very own principal from Ridgeway High School Principal Franklin, welcome.
All right, yeah.
High five.
C'mon! Now, is there some special reason why you're here? Yes there is, Carly and Sam.
I'm here to say a special Happy Birthday to one of your biggest fans, my daughter Emily.
Yeah Emily, woo hoo.
Ya hear that Emily? Happy Birthday from all of us at iCarly.
Now let us celebrate with the dropping of balloons >>And multicolored feathers.
All right.
Okay bull, prepare to be ridden.
But I warn you, when I was a kid, I used to ride a very rambunctious pony named princess and he could never throw me off.
We'll start with level one.
La bamba.
Wooo.
This is fun.
Yeah.
So that's how it's gonna be.
Now Emily, since we have your dad right here with us And since it's your birthday We thought you might be psyched to see him play One of the most popular games we do here at iCarly.
Okay, principal Franklin.
Are you ready to sit on somethin' weird? Yes, I'm looking forward to it.
Gibby, the blindfold, puh-leeze.
Nice hair.
Thanks, I had it done up all special.
Okay, can you see? I see nothing.
Excellent.
Now come this way to Okay, now before you sit we're gonna show the freaks at home the secret item you'll be sitting on.
Very good.
The secret item is Shh.
Okay Sam, fill the chair of wonder.
Filling the chair of wonder.
And 60 seconds on the Gibby.
Okay, principal Franklin, you have 60 seconds to tell us what you're sitting on.
My butt is ready.
Okay, then.
Come around here.
Come around.
Sit just right there.
Perfect.
Good job.
Okay, go.
Uhhh--they feel kind of round.
C'mon, guess.
Is it--is it golf balls? No, not golf balls.
Is it dumplings? No, no, no, nope.
C'mon, keep guessing.
All right bull, you might throw me, but now you can't hurt me.
Hey Jude.
Aah, aah, aah.
You hurt me bad.
Ten seconds.
Candy? Okay.
Yes, yes, it is candy, candy.
What kind of candy? Fudge? Yes, Fudge.
What kind of Fudge? Fudge balls.
Yeah.
Woo-hoo.
Okay, that's all for this iCarly.
Special thanks to our very own principal Franklin for being here.
Thank you guys, and happy birthday again, Emily.
Oh, and remember No Fudge balls were harmed during this Web show.
Yeah, they were.
Oh right, a man sat on them.
Uh-huh.
Well, bye.
Areevo.
And we are clear.
Woo-hoo.
Sam, Sam.
Are you ready for this? Sure, tell me.
The last iCarly broke our record for most viewers ever.
Yes, ma'am.
What? That's insane.
Principal Franklin.
Guess what? Yes? The last iCarly you did with us It was our most popular one ever.
Ever.
Oh, that's--that's wonderful.
What's the matter? What's wrong? My boss, superintendent Goreman, it wasn't so popular with him.
I've been fired.
What? Why? Dude, we gotta stop doin' that.
Why would he fire you? He said it's unbecoming of a principal to emerge from gigantic pants and to willingly sit on Fudge balls.
But it was just for fun.
You were hilarious.
Thanks, but he disagrees.
Oh, yes sir.
Indeed.
You guys be good, all right? C'mon.
Hey, superintendent Goreman.
What do you want? Whoa, deep voice.
Can I feel your Adam's apple? Sam.
What are you--? Just stop that.
Careful, superintendent.
She's dangerous.
You didn't need to fire principal Franklin.
He rocks at his job.
I don't need children telling me my business.
You need someone.
Easy.
Now get to class, Puckett.
Yeah, you too, Benson.
Were we talkin' to you two? Young lady, you will speak to your principals in a respectful tone.
What? Them? Miss Briggs and Mr.
Howard are your new co-principals.
Now get to class.
Yeah.
Does the cafeteria have chicken tots? Yes, sir.
Indeed.
Take me to them.
The two meanest teachers in school are our new co-principals.
Sam? I need to hit something.
Okay, okay.
Just uhh, just hit my backpack.
You sure? Yeah, I got four text books and two sets of gym clothes in here.
Do it.
Aah, aah.
Uh.
I can't believe school actually got worse.
Shh.
Be quiet.
I don't wanna be quiet.
I hate these clothes.
Wearin' blue and khaki makes me feel like a nub.
No offense to you and the other nubs of the world.
You better not criticize the dress code out loud.
Why, it's not like they're gonna hear me? And how come we gotta-- Sam Puckett, to the principal's office.
Huh? Why? I heard you.
Y'know, Carly, being Freddie Benson, I think miss Briggs and Mr.
Howard are doing a great job as our new co-principals.
I'm so scared.
Hi, guys.
Hey, Gibby.
How's it goin'? Bad.
Mr.
Howard just gave me detention.
For what? For being too "Gibby.
" How can you be "too Gibby"? That's what I said.
But, you know, not everybody gets me.
Oh, I get you Gibby.
I get you like a rash.
How do I get rid of you? Baby powder? That's double detention.
But baby powder gets rid of rashes.
Triple detention.
Volcano.
Don't you think you were a little too hard on him? What makes you say that? Well, he is vomiting.
You, wipe that look off your face.
This isn't a look.
It's just my face.
Well, you should get your money back.
Okay, we've gotta get principal Franklin his job back.
Shhh! Don't say that.
Carly shay.
Ohhhh.
To the principal's office.
Coming.
I'm so scared.
Freddie's got ya.
Hey, you're Bucky? I know that.
Well, I really appreciate you comin' over.
Y'know you're the only guy in Seattle that teaches bull riding? Where can I spit? Spit? Uh--well, there's a trash can over there in the kitchen.
I'll go-- or you could do that.
So this is your bull machine.
Yeah, you know how to ride it? Boy, I've ridden real bulls that would make this thing look like a fat lady's purse.
I see.
Real bulls that kick and spit and buck and try to stomp your chest 'til you ribs are broke and you're coughin' up blood and mucus.
I just wanna learn to ride this.
Wow, that is so disgusting.
If you wanna learn how to ride a bull, then you gotta learn to think like a bull.
Well, my dad always said I was bull-headed.
You would hate my dad.
Get down on your hands and knees.
I'm sorry? Get down.
'Kay.
Now when I climb on ya, I want you to try to throw me off.
Climb? Oh no, I don't think this is a good idea.
You wanna learn to ride that tin can of a bull or don't ya? I'm not sure anymore.
Try to throw me off.
Okay.
Yeeee-haaaa.
C'mon boy, you can do better than that.
I dunno.
This is so new to me.
Yee-haa.
Aah.
Okay, everybody settle down.
Listen up, please.
Quiet!!! Okay.
We all know why we're here.
We've gotta find a way to get principal Franklin his job back.
Shawn? If I come up with a plan that helps us achieve this goal yeah? Would you consider being my girlfriend? If you come up with a plan that completely smoothes out the middle East, I'm not going to be your girlfriend.
All right, we called principal Franklin and he should be here any second.
So when he gets here, I want you guys-- you wanna buy a donut? No, we're having a meeting.
Why'd you stick the donuts on that way? What are you sayin'? Well, they're donuts.
They have a hole right in the middle.
But you put the stick through the sides.
Man, this is embarrassing.
He's here.
Yah, yeah, yeah.
So what's this about? We want Briggs and Howard out.
Yeah.
And we want you back as our principal.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Would you be my girlfriend for just one hour to prove to my mom-- Shawn.
Look kids, I'm flattered that you all miss me, but superintendent Goreman made it very clear.
I know, but he's gonna be at school tomorrow-- and we're trying to come up with some kinda plan that'll get him to-- guys, I'm not interested in playing games.
Anyway, Goreman's not the kind of man who changes his mind.
You wanna buy a donut? I fixed 'em.
No, thanks, but could you point me toward a restroom? Over there.
Hey, I got a plan that might work.
So? He doesn't want us to do anything, so what's the point? I dunno, maybe we can talk him in to tryin' somethin' when he comes back out.
He didn't seem too into it.
Hey, t-Bo.
Large smoothie, blueberry blitz.
B blitz.
Oh, hey.
Why are you here? I thought you had a bull riding lesson.
I did and my teacher put his butt on me.
I don't ever wanna think about him or that stupid bull ever again.
Augh, that thing is just a big, vicious torture machine.
Interesting.
Would you agree to be digitally photographed with me? No, Shawn.
They're right behind me.
Get under the desk.
Okay.
You? What are you doing in that chair? We'll deal with her later? Where's the shirtless boy? He's in the closet.
Gibby.
Gibby, come out.
Come out here.
Gibby.
Gibby.
Where are you? You can't hide.
Gibby.
Gibby.
Let us out.
Open this door.
Unlock this door, now.
Push like a man.
Oooo.
This is not funny.
Both of you are in big trouble.
Attention, attention.
The meatballs are in the sauce.
Ooh, that sounds good.
Shh.
Open the door now.
The meatballs are in the sauce.
The meatballs are in the sauce.
He just got out of his car.
Let's do it.
He's here.
Hey, hey! What's going on here? You, you there.
Blow it.
Game's on.
Yeah, all right.
Let's go, bulldogs.
Yeah, get 'em up.
Let's do it, let's do it, go.
Turn it off.
Stop this thing.
Turn it off.
Stop this thing! What's happening? Oh, my God.
Stop this thing.
Turn it off.
This is how you run a High School? No, sir.
Absolutely not.
Control these students.
Everybody, settle down.
All right, all right.
Everybody calm down right now.
I am very disappointed in you kids.
We just wanted to show superintendent Goreman that you were a better principal than-- I told you I didn't want to play games.
Now all of you, get to class, right now.
Not you three.
Why are you here, anyway? I came to pick up my last check, if it's all right with you.
If you'll excuse me.
Ted, why don't you stay? Please.
Harold, remember last night, the casserole.
Please, my wife finally thinks I'm not a loser.
Well you are.
You too.
Now both of you, get going while you still have your teaching jobs.
Better hurry along.
Go.
You'll stay? Sure.
Arriba.
Welcome back.
Okay, you have no idea how psyched we are that you're back.
You're in big trouble, Carly, and so are you two.
I was very clear yesterday when I told you all that I didn't want you-- what, what? He's gone.
I love you guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wooo.
Yay, yay, uh-huh.