Insecure (2016) s03e05 Episode Script

1 NATHAN: Yo, party Lyft! - That was hard to watch.
- Yeah, livin' it was harder.
NATHAN: When was your last relationship? How you know I'm not in one now? (KNOCKING ON DOOR) What y'all doing? Eating tacos and kissing on the mouth? (LAUGHS) - It's still weird at work? - Kinda.
Can you speak to why not being a star bothers you? MOLLY CARTER: I'm only interested in making moves that take me where I wanna go.
You don't really know what it's like to really care about what you do, Issa.
I'm sorry, I I can't do this anymore.
- What do you mean? - I'm quitting.
Is this my car? Mm-hmm.
Ohh.
I think I'm gonna throw up.
Look, I need shillings, that paper, that coin - ( GASPING ) - You OK? Yeah.
Thanks for listening to me.
My Scrabble friends are sick of hearing me.
Aww.
Come to think of it, most of 'em are dead.
Oh.
Sorry for your losses.
How you like driving for Lyft? It's cool.
You know, I make good money, and I get to set my own schedule.
Oh.
So you can be free, like now? Nah, peak.
Peak hours.
- That playlist is fire! - Yeah, turn it up, sis! OK.
I'm came to get paid than it's Vaminos Came to get paid than it's Vaminos - Y'all cute.
- than it's Vaminos - If you ain't got my pesos - Adios, adios I'm came to get paid than it's Vaminos I'm came to get paid I'm goin' to the Brenshaw Mall.
BOTH: Oh, shit! Say you wanna make a scene Hey, worker bee-itch! - I got your Coachella clothes.
- Oh, and my sunscreen? I know I'm black, but cancer don't care.
OK.
I also got your floss.
Wax and bougie minted.
- Mm-hmm.
- And a dozen Cadbury Creme Eggs that I will eat myself.
And did you drop Flavor Flav off at daycare? Not yet.
He's in my car.
But don't worry, girl, he's safe.
I put him in my trunk.
- Issa! - I'm kidding! He's not going in my car.
I hate that nigga.
- I hate you so much.
- ( LAUGHS ) Well, thank you for running all my errands.
You shoulda quit We Got Y'All a long time ago.
You make a much better assistant than my assistant.
- Mm.
- KAREN: I'm right here.
You're good, Karen.
I'm just giving my friend some much needed validation.
I'm right here.
Girl, you know I don't mean that.
I don't know what you meant, but it's fine, 'cause I'm glad I have this time off so I can help my beautiful, chocolate friend.
- And get me to Beyonce faster.
- No, you right.
Honestly, I just really need this trip, girl.
Yeah.
We have been some busy bitches.
Yeah, and you know this is pregnant-ass Tiffany's last hurrah.
Ohh.
We don't need her as a mother.
- ( LAUGHS ) - The thought of it.
Oh, I finally learned the choreography to Formation.
- Can I move this chair? - Issa, no! You gotta go! I have to work if we're gonna leave on time.
Hmm.
That's the Tootsie Roll.
That Lock the door.
Sorry, Karen.
You are better.
MOLLY: So, in order to launch our best defense, we need to determine if our client was actively abusing alcohol or if she was already in the treatment program, and also if she knew about her employer's drug policy.
- That's a great point.
- Under the ADA, our client will be entitled to retain her employment and take leave for rehabilitation.
This is good work, guys.
- Appreciate that.
- Thank you.
And you're citing the 2009 FMLA revisions? - Yes - Yep.
I knew from the Lancaster case that it was essential.
FRANK: Good instincts, Taurean.
Let's get that brief in by the end of the weekend.
It would be great to file Monday.
Sure.
I'll move some things around and get it done.
Actually, I have time.
I can do it.
- You sure? - Yeah.
Not a problem.
- Great.
Thanks, Molly.
- All right.
MAN: G-G-Good Work Charlie WOMAN: 100 bad bitches in the city All the girls, they are so pretty 100 bad bitches in the city All the girls, they are so pretty All the bad bitches can't stand me Where you goin'? Hey, Trina.
What can I do for you? I got bed bugs.
And they're crawlin' everywhere.
There are no bugs.
You're hallucinating.
Matter of fact, I'm not here either.
I'm a ghost.
Oh! I don't fuck with ghosts.
- Boo! - Oh, shit! ( DOOR SLAMS SHUT ) ( KELLI LAUGHING ) If I could see Percy one last time.
- Oh! - Did somebody say "repast"? ( LAUGH TRACK PLAYS ) I know these niggas just did this reboot 'cause they're broke, ( SING-SONG ) but I'm here for it.
For real, Lil' Chris? What did I tell you about coming in my house - through Percy's casket? - Booyah.
( BOTH LAUGHING ) - Don't make me come over there - ( LAUGH TRACK PLAYS ) Get ( KELLI LAUGHING ) - Hey! Here I come! - KELLI: Coachella ho! - Bring your Bigfoot ass down! - Beyonce or bust! Wait.
Why y'all pick me up before Molly? Molly was afraid to tell you, but - No! - ( SIGHS ) - ( PHONE BUZZING, RINGING ) - Ohhh.
- Hey! - ISSA: Wow! - Bitches is real sneaky.
- Stop.
Don't do it.
I can't go.
I gotta get this brief done.
Issa, I told you, let Molly make the decision that's important for her.
ISSA: When is it due, girl? 'Cause I could help! I know hella words! "Tort," uh, "bailiff," "Do you swear to tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth?" - "Court" - Stop.
No.
I don't want this hanging over my head all weekend.
I'll make sure you get quiet time.
We could even leave early together, if you want to.
( WHISPERING ) Without these bitches, because they so whack.
They're so whack! I washed your car! ( SIGHS ) - Fine.
I'll work it out.
- Yeah! You're my best friend, I am so convincing I should be a lawyer - We should start a - Mm-mm.
She hung up, but she gon' work it out! - ( ALL SHRIEK ) - Yeah! Press it! - Yea-yea-yeah.
- Yes! We don't have to fight no more This isn't the time to be tumblin' on the floor We just have have to walk Through that door Together TIFFANY: Ooh, they got a bidet in here, y'all.
- Guess we French now.
- Mais oui, bitch! Airbnb all zay Maybe you should Airbnb your new spot so you can make some extra cash.
Then where would I live? That literally makes no sense.
You know who makes no sense? Or dollars? You.
I have money.
I'm doin' great.
OK? I budgeted for this.
So Lyft is, like, your real job now? 'Cause, I mean, that's great, if if you love it.
It's perfect for the moment.
Y'all, I'm not tryin' to think about this.
I'm focused on having a fun weekend with my girls, and that's y'all, so turn up! You ain't got to worry about me, 'cause I came to par-tay.
I can still drop it low.
You just gotta help me up, though.
( PHONE BUZZING ) - - Yes! Molly's on her way.
ETA two hours.
That's just in time for SZA.
Ooh, that's just enough time to squeeze in a little nap.
This baby is tired.
Tiffany, no! Do not lie down! You gon' pass out! You should stay up and pre-game.
She can't pre-game, Issa.
She can't do it.
She pregnant.
Well, we can still pre-game.
Kelli, make some drinks.
Tiffany, don't lie down.
When Molly gets here, I'll wake up so fast.
She won't make up, Issa.
She won't do it.
She pregnant.
Kelli, what's wrong with you? What? OK, don't be mad, I thought we were goin' straight to Coachella when we got here, so I took a edible.
The fuck, Kelli? You couldn't wait? It's not my fault.
I timed it out perfectly.
Blame Molly.
Y'all got 15 minutes, OK? I'm getting dressed.
( LAUGHING ) Who's laughing? Shut up.
It's you.
Hey! That's how you do that shit! Shonda who? Oprah what? Beyonce ain't the only Miss Carter.
( BIRDS CHIRPING ) I got too much sleep last night! Get the fuck up! Beyonce or bust, bitches! - Beyonce or bust! - My God! Beyonce or bust! Get the fuck up! Bitch, I got three hours of sleep last night.
What's wrong with you?! I'm gonna fry your face you bang them pans one more time! Sorry, pans.
( CLANGING ) Y'all, we did not come here to sleep all weekend.
We came here to have a good fuckin' time - and celebrate Tiffany.
- And the baby.
No, not the fucking baby, Tiffany.
Just you.
This the last weekend before you get boring.
OK, I'm not ever gonna get boring.
I'm just gonna get more responsible.
Responsi-boring.
I woke up very early this morning, and I made an amazing Coachella schedule.
Whoa! Yaass! I got a thumbs-up from the partner! (SINGING) A bitch is officially free to turn up! See? When you work hard, you play hard.
That's that 80/40 ratio right there.
There's overlap.
I know that.
OK, y'all, we gon' eat, we gon' drink, - see Amine - All right! - eat some more, - What?! - see Tyler - Ooh! - drink some more - Yeah! - Chloe/Halle - OK! then we gon' turn the fuck up! ALL: Whoa! Oh, come on, now.
You know I'm not gonna drink this.
Girl, it's rose.
My mom had a glass of wine every day, and I'm fine.
Beyonce or bust! ALL: Beyonce or bust! Y'all hoes go get dressed.
Go, hoes! Git! ( PHONE BUZZING ) Quick change to the schedule! When I step out, bitches stretch they neck out I don't never stress 'bout what the chitter-chat 'bout Smack her in the damn mouth, time to bring the dog out Smoking got the fog out, I got green like MOLLY: Damn, this is lit.
Is that a pool? I wanna get wet.
- Kelli, no.
- Not even a toe? OK.
We should do a walk-around.
- Mmm.
- KELLI: Walk-around? Another naked nigga.
Don't forget, we have to leave at 4:00 to get a good spot for Beyonce.
- You're right, girl.
- Keepin' us on point.
She better do Bugaboo.
Issa! Oh, now it makes sense.
Your ass back on some surprise "come to this party and meet my almost-man" type shit.
- I didn't do it on purpose.
- Mm-hmm.
I hadn't seen him, and I needed this.
- And he got friends.
- Mm-hmm.
Good to see you again.
- Mm-hmm.
- You guys, this is Nathan.
- Nice to meet you.
- Who are they? That's my boy Andrew that I'm stayin' with in Burbank, and that's Julian.
( MOUTHS WORD ) You lucky they're not ugly.
Hey, I'm Molly.
Oh, then I'm Percocet? What are we doin'? Uh, that's her name.
She's Molly.
And I'm drunk.
Enchanté.
( CHATTER, LAUGHTER ) - JULIAN: I'll see you soon.
- KELLI: OK.
Thanks for inviting me.
Thank you for getting me out to the desert.
You're welcome.
You know, I hadn't heard from you, so I didn't know you were coming.
So y'all want some real Molly? - I mean - Duh.
You down? Oh, I'm pregnant.
I got edibles.
I read somewhere pregnant women can have 'em.
- I don't know you.
- KELLI: Well, I'm not pregnant.
Come alone, but I wish you would All right.
Yeah.
We gon' take some pills, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
MOLLY: I mean, I guess it's happenin'.
KELLI: Go on and take it.
I will if you will.
Yeah-hey! I'm proud of you.
- Cheers to the freaky weekend.
- ALL: Cheers! KELLI: Yaaas.
I'm gonna fuck him, I'm gonna fuck him, I'm gonna fuck her.
- TIFFANY: You crazy.
- KELLI: No! Janelle Monae made it OK.
Hey, girl.
OK.
( LAUGHS ) KELLI: Who I'm gon' fuck? This shit is a girl blunt I only smoke girl blunts This shit is a girl blunt I only smoke girl blunts This shit is a Yo, people are actually swimming.
In Texas you throw a pool party, people come in jeans.
Oh, so I coulda kept my jeans on when we were in the pool.
You could have.
I'm glad you didn't.
( LAUGHS ) ( LAUGHING ) ( LAUGHING ) What is wrong with me? I feel good.
You ain't ever done Molly before? Hmm.
This shit is a girl blunt I only smoke girl blunts This shit is a girl blunt I only smoke girl blunts This shit is a girl blunt Ohh.
Oh, my God.
Your touch is so touchy.
What you said, what that mean, hot fire Make yo nigga stop and roll That booty ooh she jiggle like a jelly roll - How's that feel? - Chocolate I'm lookin' edible Run into the money, bitch, I feel incredible Invite me to your party but I never go I be too caught up with that bank roll My dude real hood, mouth full of gold Real real hood, do-rag on Ambitious nigga, damn he got it goin' on He just graduated college 'bout a week ago You can work at CVS, long as you don't keep me stressed ( SLURPING ) No, wait.
I'm Molly, and I'm on Molly.
So that means I'm Molly squared.
( LAUGHS ) Wait, say it so I can hear it out loud.
- Molly squared.
- ( GIGGLING ) I'm single ( CRYING ) and I've been alone for a while.
I haven't had sex since I slept with my married friend.
- Oh, word? - Mm-hmm.
Hey, you met my boy Andrew? - Hey.
- You the Asian one.
Hmm.
I was just tellin' the black one that I been through a lot.
What's a lot? Like, life.
( GOOFY LAUGH ) Mm.
I just bought a new grill, shinin' like a new whip Adam got a new drip, Im'a nappy-headed black lil' cool kid Yeah I stack that, make that, break that, take that Got a hundred ways I could flip that ( TURNSTILE BEEPS ) Know you probably need a Tic-Tac Holy shit, this is beautiful! Look at everybody with their beads and their fringes on! Giddyup, white girl! ( GUFFAWS ) According to the app, there's really spotty cell service.
Is anybody gettin' cell service? No bars.
And there's water stations at all four corners of the grounds.
- Where's the water at? - Girl, I just said.
You know what? Let's all just stick together and find a good spot at the front of the stage.
- Mm.
- ( CAMERA CLICKS ) I just wanna, I just wanna throw my hands I just want a mic with a stand I just wanna, I just wanna catch one glance I just wanna see you dance, girl I just wanna uh, I just wanna blow your mind And lucky for you, the hook's right on time Talk to me, say I just wanna show you something You should put your guard down We could be some stars now Little mama don't be frontin' You should put your guard down We could start now, bitch! I just wanna, I just wanna be yours For the night, I just wanna be yours ( CROWD CHEERING ) Is this Couples-chella? 'Cause I left Derek at home.
Um I'm thirsty.
Is anybody else thirsty? Should we get water? We have to go in shifts.
We can't lose this spot! Why don't you and I go? I'm hungry.
- MOLLY: Bitch, where you goin'? - Save our spot.
Come on, lil' nigga.
( KELLI GIGGLES ) OK.
OK, wait.
Move.
Move.
Move.
I must save this spot for my girls like my life depends on it.
I will not move.
No, no, no Whoa, stand up, stand up.
You can't sit while you're on Molly or you'll pass the fuck out.
But I'm so tired! Uh, just lean on me.
I I'll hold you up.
( GRUNTS ) Whoa.
NATHAN: Yo, I ain't never seen so many barefoot people Why you didn't ever hit me up? W-Whoa.
Well, why you ain't hit me up? I ain't never get no text messages.
I felt like I came on too strong last time.
I do that sometimes.
I didn't want you to think I was, you know, pressed.
What if I like pressed? ( RAPPING ) Pressed is the best, I ain't never stressed, push it to the t Oh, my God, did I say that out loud? ( RAPPING ) Your smile like Crest, let me just finesse, that's all I got! Oh, my God, we're amazing! Yo, we should start a group and perform at Coachella.
I play the triangle! Yo, it would be so cool if Inglewood had something like this.
Can you imagine? It would be so dope to just hose down a couple streets, make it a local thing Yeah? What would you call it? Ingle-chella.
No.
That's terrible.
( GASPS ) Cocoa-chella.
Yeah, because of all the chocolaty people! Uh-huh.
- That's dope.
- That's ( GASPS ) Ooh! I love Ferris wheels! ISSA: Yes! ATTENDANT: Y'all have fun.
Watch your step.
- ISSA: We will! - NATHAN: Thank you.
Are you ready, though? If you are.
Yeah.
I'm scared.
( LAUGHS ) Don't be! It's not that high.
But we are.
( LAUGHS ) Also it goes pretty slow, so you good.
You be knowin' shit.
You're amazing.
Pfft! I am not.
Trust me.
Why you say it like that? ( STAMMERS ) I quit my job.
And I keep frontin' to everybody like I'm not scared about what's next for me, but I am terrified.
Well, I mean, you still gonna do something with music? Hey.
I think quittin' your job was real brave.
You gonna come out of this in a better place.
I know it.
- ( CLANK ) - NATHAN: Oh, shit.
- What?! - Oh, shit fuck.
Shit fuck da-da-da.
No-no-no.
What just happened? - ( LAUGHS ) - Why you laughin'? - You're so scared.
- ATTENDANT: It's all good.
Just gonna get a backup battery.
I'm not high.
Well, you know, at least at least it's a good view.
Baby, how you layin' there You look so good, I stare ( MOANS ) I want you so bad right now.
You say that you love me more Show me.
I think you know what's good I'm here, I'm yours La la la la Oh hey ( GASPING ) La la la la Oh hey La la la la la la - ( ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ) - ( CROWD CHEERING ) Who took my other waffle?! You ate it before we left the tent.
Oh, my bad.
White folks just don't give a fuck! Wait.
Where's my jacket? How y'all gonna just take our spot? - There's no savin' spots.
- Yeah, it's a field.
And I'll bet that's where you'd like to keep us, you whole milk-drinking bitch! Oh, my God! Calm down.
- All these first-timers.
- ( MAN LAUGHS ) This about to be the first time you get chopped in the throat! Oh, shit! No! No! No, Kelli, no! Oh, shit! ( ALL SHOUTING ) ( SHOUTING ) Oh, no! Not today! ( SHOUTING CONTINUES ) Oh, my God! Stop! Stop! I'm reclaiming my time and my space! I came with my friends to listen to white music! I'll bet you voted for Jill Stein! You are an idiot! We're gonna miss Beyonce! No! Guys! Hey! You better not touch her, she a lawyer! She a lawyer! - ( FERRIS WHEEL POWERS UP ) - NATHAN: Oh, shit.
( ISSA LAUGHS ) ISSA: Great timing.
Does this count as the Mile High Club? It better.
- ( BOTH LAUGH ) - ( PHONE BUZZING ) Oh, shit, I got service up here! Hello? Tiffany, slow down.
I can't hear you.
Where? What? OK, I'll be right there.
This is so embarrassing! Is everybody looking at us? Why do the whites get to stay? Huh? I know why.
'Cause they're white, white, white, white, whiter, white! Hey, Kelli, we should probably just go.
- ( DRUMS PLAY INTRO ) - Oh! - MOLLY: Ohh! - That's Beyonce! We came to see that bitch! Fuck it.
We said Beyonce or b ( ZAP ) ( TASER CRACKLING ) - ( KELLI GIBBERING ) - Oh, shit! Fuck! Shit! Oh! Oh, my God, Kelli, oh, my God! MOLLY: Kelli, are you OK? TIFFANY: Oh, my God, Kelli! Oh, my God! KELLI: I pissed myself.
Don't look at me.
Remember me different.
( GRUNTING ) ( PHONE CHIMING, BUZZING ) Oh, shit.
We got cell service out here.
- Damn it! - What happened now? I got all these last-minute notes! Now Taurean's ass gonna save the day and steal my shine.
Does anybody got a laptop?! - ( SIGHS ) - ( CAMERA CLICKS ) We need to get back to the house right the fuck now.
You guys, I took a bite of the weed brownie.
Don't judge me! ISSA: I just feel so bad 'cause I was the one who changed the schedule, I was the one who abandoned them.
Don't stress.
They'll be OK.
Hey, let's just go inside, all right? I probably need to go inside myself, 'cause I fucked everything up.
OK.
I had a great time, though.
Me too.
I'll hit you tomorrow.
( BLOWS AIR ) - ( RAPID TYPING ) - Oh, my God, are y'all OK? Are y'all mad at me? How am I OK? I missed Beyonce, I pissed myself - I got tackled today, Issa.
- So you are mad at me.
I just gotta send in this brief.
Gotta send an edit and then I send an email.
- Girl, you are typing so hard.
- This is business, Issa.
- This is my life.
- You're on drugs! Stop typing! - I gotta send in this brief! - Aah! I don't know what this shit means, but I know it's wrong.
I don't wanna be high no more.
'Cause it's hot, and I don't know what happened to my jacket.
I'm on fire! Can someone please help me take my hair out? Stop it, stop it.
Kelli, where's Tiffany? Is she mad at me? I don't know.
She hide in the closet.
TIFFANY: Yes, I know he's our little weed baby! ( TIFFANY CRYING ) But I just wanna be home with you! - ( SOBBING ) - Hey, Derek.
She just had a little pinch, we got everything under control.
OK, bye.
Why did you just hang up on my husband?! Because you're all mad at me and we need to talk! ( SOBBING ) Now you wanna talk? Now you wanna talk?! When you left me alone to battle the whites in the field, what happened to "Beyonce or bust"? Beyonce is a better mother than me! ( SOBBING ) This closet is so well organized.
Tiffany, come out the closet.
Molly, stop breathing so hard.
Kelli, stop glaring at me like you want me to die.
It's residual Tase rage, bitch! It's an after-effect.
You mean side effect.
Now who's a scientist? Bitch, shut up! Yo, who took my jacket? Who the fuck took my jacket? ISSA: Y'all, the drugs and the heat are fuckin' us up.
We're all mad at me, and we just need to go to bed, OK? ( CRYING ) ( BIRDS CHIRPING ) TIFFANY: I need water.
Do we have water? Check the fridge.
( GRUNTS ) Why am I in a zebra? KELLI: My whole fuckin' body hurts.
( ALL LAUGHING ) What the fuck happened to your hair? Nigga, a track is missin'.
I tried to take it out, it got caught up on my ring.
Oh, God.
ISSA: Is everybody OK, though? We were all high as fuck.
I was so high.
I thought I got Tased.
( LAUGHS ) ( CONTINUES LAUGHING ) Oh, shit.
Ohh.
Tiff, did you find water? No.
All we have is vodka.
Well, I can go to the store.
You wanna come? - Yeah.
- Let's go.
( GRUNTING ) Why I smell like piss? So, I'ma just run inside real quick.
You wanna stay in the car? Yeah.
You feelin' better? What's wrong? I don't know.
I don't want to be dramatic.
But it's like last night and ever since I got pregnant, I just feel so left out.
It's like I really pushed myself to party with y'all.
Girl, we just wanted one last hurrah before the baby came.
It's just everything's different now.
Like, we're different now.
We don't have to be.
Shit changes all the time.
It's And we'll always be friends.
Yeah, I hope so.
( PHONE BUZZING ) - ( DOOR OPENS ) - ( BEEP ) Excuse me.
Do you guys have any alkaline water? I didn't see any Iss mothefuckin'-sa! - ( SLURPING ) - Chad.
You're here.
Hey! You see this? Hey.
Issa.
Lawrence.
Hey.