Offspring (2010) s03e05 Episode Script

You're my biological daughter.
FATHER! You're my biological father.
What? Dad, I'm I'm so sorry.
You've got nothing to apologise for.
You've obviously heard the rumours.
I might have heard that you had a drug habit.
Yep.
Mick and I are going to New Zealand.
I have to throw a spanner in the works here because I want to offer you a gig, playing keys for this fantastic singer I'm working with, but you'd have to start straightaway.
Help me.
Please, I want an epidural now.
We're going to get you some relief, OK? Just do it while he's out of the room.
I can't do it if he's here.
My wife and I expressly told you, under no circumstances did we want an epidural.
OK, listen, mate Just enjoy your son.
Don't "listen, mate" me.
Patronising prick! I'm not your mate.
Do you want kids? - Are you scared? - Yes.
I know I shouldn't be.
How did we get here? It's a dream.
Oh, it feels so real.
Dreams sometimes do.
Well, what am I doing dreaming about the rollercoaster? It's a scenic railway.
Is it? It's your dream - you must know that.
But the rollercoaster is a metaphor so maybe you're feeling uncertain about something.
You're the one that's uncertain.
You said you weren't sure if you wanted to have kids.
Is that what you're dreaming about? I always thought I was too young to have kids, but I am in my 30s.
If I want to have them, I should be thinking about it.
Maybe you're only thinking about it because I put the thought in your head.
Maybe, but What? You alright? Fine, fine.
Yes, great.
Great.
Hooray.
Oh, that is it! I am done! From now on, I live here with you guys.
Hey, Jimmy.
Not a good time, Jimmy.
It's Mum.
What's wrong with her? I can't take it anymore.
It's this thing about your real father.
She just sits there for hours, staring out the back window.
Has she been drinking? No, that's the terrifying thing.
She's stone-cold sober.
I tried putting a glass of wine in her hand but she ignored it.
She ignored alcohol.
Something is broken in her head.
Refusing alcohol is often a good thing.
Mum's never refused alcohol.
I said to her, "Mum, it's not going to get any better "until you apologise to Dad.
" What'd she say to that? Well, that's the weird thing.
She just made this strangled sound.
Ohhhh.
Ohhhh.
And then she started baking.
Scones?! Try one.
Bit hard.
Bone dry.
Terrible scones.
Hundreds of them.
Hard, dry lumps of baking soda and guilt.
OK.
Well, right now, I've got to No, she's just got to say it to him, "Darcy, I am sorry for my infidelity "and for giving birth to a child who wasn't yours.
" Of course, that might not work.
Jimmy, you can't live here and you have to leave now.
Well, at least do something to make her stop.
I've got to go to work.
Sorry.
Are you finished reading the paper? We need to go.
I agree with Patrick.
So your mum apologises to your dad.
What if it makes things worse? At least she will have taken the first step.
Scone? No, thanks.
Go on.
You just said they were dry and tasteless.
They are, but still I don't have time for this.
Where's the baby going to be? Here.
With me.
You're going to redecorate? I'll put up a mobile.
You can't tjuz this place up with a mobile.
This place needs a makeover.
This courtyard is scary.
You need plants, you need colour.
You need a place for peanut to be peanut.
I could help.
I don't believe I've been ambiguous, but let me just say this again.
I am not a Proudman.
I don't have clutter.
And I'm the decision-making parent.
And me? You are around.
And? And that's it.
You're around.
I think I should at least have a key.
No.
Now, I've got to go to work.
That'd be right.
Gutless.
Hello? Hi.
Where are you? Can you see me? I can't see you.
Oh, hi! Hi.
So, how did it go post-speech? OK.
- I think they're starting to forget now.
- Hmm.
It's day four so we have to have sex.
Aren't you coming home tonight? Yeah, but when I get home it's going to be after midnight, so that's technically day five.
Plus, I can't guarantee that I'm going to feel like it then and I want it now.
Plus, you know, I'm hoping that I'm pregnant.
We might jinx it if we break the pact.
OK.
What I do? Can I have some music? Yeah.
Yeah! Yeah! Baby! Whoo! Yeah.
Whoo! Aargh! Jimmy! Shut it down! Shut it down! I always knew the day would come when I'd walk in on the two of you doing something like that.
This is how it feels.
I always imagined I'd find it funny but I just feel so violated.
Even a little bit angry.
What do you want? I need to use some of your handyman things.
A ladder, and so on and so forth.
What for? I'm working on a special project.
OK.
Well, everything's in the ute.
OK.
Mick, what were you doing with the dried apricots? Shut up.
Hello? Nina, hello.
It's Phillip.
Oh, hello.
Just making sure that we're still on for today.
Yes, for lunch.
Of course.
If it's alright by you - after what happened last time, I think it would be good to avoid food that can burn the skin, so I've made some sandwiches.
Oh, that's very nice of you.
Thank you.
Not at all.
Looking forward to it.
Cheerio.
Cheerio.
Oh, right.
Nina.
Nina, come on in.
Nina, this is Liz, from the patient liaison office.
Oh, hello.
Nina Proudman.
Hi.
Shall I come back later? No, no.
Sit.
Please, everybody just sit.
Patient liaison? There was a birth last week.
You were the attending obstetrician.
Do you remember Polly and Kelton Weir? Yes.
Is there a problem? Were you in the room when the epidural was administered? Er, no.
Right.
What conversations did you have with Polly and Kelton about the epidural? Their birth plan was to have a natural birth, without any drugs.
You didn't, at any point, hear them consent to the epidural? What's going on? The couple has made a complaint.
I see.
Polly and Kelton Weir claim you bullied Polly while she was in labour, and administered an epidural without consent.
I didn't.
But you admit to giving her the epidural? Of course.
She asked me for pain relief and I gave it to her.
That's not what she's saying now.
You are aware that an epidural without consent is assault? Do you have any idea how hard it is to give a woman an epidural she doesn't want? Are you two in a relationship? Beg your pardon? Simple question.
What business is that of yours? Couples cover up for each other.
Happens all the time.
I would never ask Nina to lie for me.
No-one's lying.
This is a PR disaster waiting to happen.
Get Polly and Kelton in.
That's procedure, isn't it, Martin? Everyone sits down face-to-face.
We talk.
We sort it out.
Polly and Kelton don't want to come in which behaviour, I might add, is consistent with people who've been brutalised by a doctor.
You don't seriously think Patrick's done what they say? I don't know what I think.
But there is a couple angry enough to make a complaint to me.
Why would they do that? Polly's intimidated by her husband.
It's him.
He didn't want her to have the epidural but she DID want it.
That might be true but it doesn't help at all.
So what happens now? If the couple isn't satisfied with the way we handle it now, the next stop will be the Health Services Commissioner and then there'll be a full-scale inquiry.
I see.
There'll be legal proceedings.
You could lose your licence.
I see.
I pretty well got slapped in Clegg's office.
You? Yep.
We're in this together.
No, we're not.
The complaint's against me.
To be honest, if it gives Polly any peace to say I gave her the epidural without her consent, well, she's doing what she needs to do.
I just need to accept responsibility and get it over with.
Patrick, the hospital will suspend you.
Oh, don't just walk away.
Shit! Oh, shit! Stop! Ow! There's no need to be nervous.
He's fantastic.
I'm a little nervous.
Rosanna, this is Mick.
Hello, Mick.
Hi.
Lovely to meet you.
Cuddle.
Oh, good cuddle.
Sorry.
Good to meet you.
I've heard great things.
You too.
Thank you.
Hey, this is my boyfriend, Andrew.
Hi, Andrew.
I'm Rosanna.
How are you? Very well, thank you.
Let me give you a hug as well.
My new man.
You're a lucky man.
I am a lucky man.
It's nice to meet you.
Thank you.
He's told you I'm very, very nervous.
I'm sorry.
I am.
I'm very excited about working with you.
Yeah, me too.
Thank you.
Well, I'll leave you to it.
No, wait.
Something's just come up and I need to tell all of you.
All of us? Yeah.
OK.
Alright, um OK.
You know 'The King and I'? Yes.
I do.
Of course.
Well, they're about to open a revival on the West End.
Wow.
Kate Winslet.
Big budget.
And, um well, they've lost their musical director and I got a call this morning.
About what? Well, that they'd like me to take over.
Wow.
So What kind of time commitment are we talking about here, Tim? Weeks? Months? It's more like a year.
Tim, that's great.
What about us? I've thought about that and it's going to be fine.
Mick's going to step up from keyboards to musical director.
Me? No.
Mick is a fantastic musician.
Tim, I don't know him.
You know, I don't trust him.
No offence, but Sure.
I need a professional.
Mick is very professional! He's a keyboard player.
He plays keys! If Rosanna doesn't want me, then I should go.
Please, don't.
Wait, please.
I have to go to work.
Just give me a call later.
You've never worked at anything on this level, have you? What level's that? That's a really simple question.
OK.
I manage my own band.
You manage your band? You manage your band.
How's that going? I'm sorry.
Look, I'm sorry.
Tim, I'd like us to shelve this until we can find a professional.
You've got dates coming up.
You can't postpone.
Look, I'm very happy to have him on keys.
I do not want him taking over.
Oh, yeah! Do I look like I'm trying to take over?! OK, guys! Guys! Rosanna, please.
Rosanna.
Do you think that I would suggest Mick if I didn't think he was up to it? Shit! I'm sorry! Jimmy, I can't talk now.
Mick, wait.
I'm hurt.
I'm really hurt.
No joke.
And hungry.
I'm really hungry too.
I'm really hungry too.
Take a seat.
Thank you.
Your form says your name is Mick Holland.
Mm-hm.
But I recognise you.
You're Darcy Proudman.
You're Nina's father.
No.
You're Nina's father.
What are you doing? I just thought I, um Are you going to hit me? No.
Much as I'd like to.
I just wanted to get a good look at you.
I'm angry.
Then I think about Nina and there's just nowhere for the anger to go.
If it weren't for you, there'd be no Nina, so Oh! Ow! Idiot.
Why are you even meeting the man, Nina? You're too distracted.
This is outrageous, Geraldine.
Another insult to add to the list.
Don't you use that tone to me! As if there needed to be any more! Oh! What are you doing here? She followed me.
Oh, Mum! I only followed you because Why? Why? Because why? It's nice to see you again, Geraldine.
Oh, thanks, Phillip.
Mum, I just I think you should go.
- Jimmy, what are you doing here? - He needs to see a doctor.
What happened to you? I landed on it pretty hard.
Oh, Jimmy, for God's sake! No, no.
You don't say that to me.
Your scones are dry and tasteless.
Neens, is this your dad? Yes.
He's I mean I Yeah.
And is this the table on which you were conceived? It is, is it? No.
Sorry, sorry.
Oh, it's Billie.
Hey, Billie.
What? She got her period.
Oh, no! Billie, I'm sorry.
There's always next time, darling.
Yeah, I'm here with everyone in Dr Noonan's office.
Mm-hm.
Yeah, I'm looking right at him.
Yeah, OK.
She wants to speak to you.
No, no, no.
Yeah, hello.
Yes.
Sorry to hear about the period.
No, it wasn't on the examination table, exactly.
Oh, no.
No, Billie! OK, thanks, everyone.
If you could just Thanks.
There's something on your mind.
Hmm? It's work.
It's a work thing.
Trouble with a colleague? He's more than a colleague.
Your partner? Yes.
There's been a complaint from a patient.
Patient complaints.
Mmm.
I've seen careers ruined.
My advice - fold.
Admit fault straightaway.
But it doesn't feel right, admitting to something he hasn't done.
But if his record is otherwise clean, he'll bounce back.
His record isn't clean.
Oh.
Then it's a concern.
Hi, this is Patrick Reid.
Please leave a message.
Patrick, it's me.
I just wanted to say, don't do anything yet, OK? Just don't admit fault.
Don't do anything until we talk.
OK? Hope I'm not too late.
Nina.
They know about Patrick's history with drugs.
Who?! Liz! And the rest of the sharks downstairs.
Now they're wondering if Patrick was under the influence when he was treating Polly.
He wasn't! It does happen.
Look, a doctor takes 50ml, gives the patient 30ml, keeps 20ml for himself.
That's not what happened, Martin.
I know that.
I think I know that.
No, no, no.
Patrick would never, never lie about something like that.
When Patrick was using, it was months before even I realised.
Sorry.
No, that's alright.
Right.
Oh, I'm sick of all these what-ifs.
Disaster scenarios.
Decisions based on fear.
We sit down, we put on paper everything that happened and then we say, "This is the truth.
"Bad luck if you don't like it.
" We contact Polly and Kelton.
We get them into a mediation session.
They'll refuse.
Well, then we think of something else.
Nina, this isn't a situation that needs you to shepherd it towards a particular outcome.
Shh! I AM involved.
I am.
You should disinvolve yourself.
I don't choose to disinvolve myself.
Look I just don't think things are going to turn out the way we want them.
It's not too late to walk this back.
It's not.
Hey, guys! How are you? Good, thanks.
How are you? You know what? I think I'm going to need some time alone.
What do you mean? I mean, every day at work I handle and I administer the drugs that I'm addicted to.
And Look, I can get very close.
If you want solitude, you can have it at home.
I can go and stay at Mum's for the night.
No, I don't want to bring it home.
I'll go to a motel and figure it out.
What? Patrick, what are you? I need to get back to work.
A motel? Okely-dokey.
Thanks.
Cup of tea.
No worries.
OK.
Where were we? Your song selection.
Yeah? What about it? It's too safe.
It's too predictable.
It's like, "An Evening with Rosanna Harding.
"Feel free to sleep till interval!" Wow.
Are you quite finished? Oh, come on! What do you think of these songs? I'm very comfortable with these songs.
You're comfortable? You're comfy? I am.
OK, here's an idea.
How about you get out of your comfort zone? Oh! God, I knew this would not work out.
I knew it.
You've been given this great opportunity.
Tim said you wanted to reinvent yourself and here you are, jumping from one tiny little box into another tiny little box.
Most singers would kill for an opportunity like this.
You can do whatever you want and you choose Andrew Lloyd Webber?! What would you recommend, Mr Big Keys? Well, have you written anything? Um I don't really write.
Come on.
You write all those songs for kids.
They're great! You obviously understand harmony.
They've got hooks all the way through them.
They're kids' songs.
Well, have you written for adults? Yeah.
But it's shit.
Well, can I please hear your shit? Hi.
Hi.
I called your work.
They said you weren't there.
No.
You OK? Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know.
So, um congratulations.
Thanks.
When are you going? A few days.
Have to, you know, finalise things here.
Do you have a? A? Reaction? It's a once-in-a-lifetime chance.
I'm happy for you.
And, you know, damn.
I know this thing between us is new, but is there any way that we could If I was, like, 20, I might be able to say, "Hey, the distance doesn't matter.
We'll find a way to make it work.
" That's what I was thinking.
But we both know we'd be kidding ourselves.
Tim, it's been great.
But I think we're both old enough to know when it's the end.
OK.
I gotta go.
Bye.
Bye.
Last night I couldn't sleep Bed felt awful cold You say you want some space You say you want some space You won't pick up the phone Never said that I was easy Always pushing for the best Well, that's just 'cause I believe Believe in you, baby This I must attest You make me happy You make me happy You shouldn't be alone Baby, come on home You make me happy.
What? Are you going? Yeah.
You didn't say goodbye.
I'm on the balcony.
When will I see you? Tomorrow I'll be here.
Am I allowed to know where you're going? I'm going to the Jarko Motel.
But my phone will be turned off.
I'll see you tomorrow, OK? OK.
If that's what you need to do.
It is.
I wish this wasn't happening.
No, let him go.
If that's what he needs, let him go.
Maybe less is more, next time.
Well, when did you last walk through duty-free, huh? I don't know.
Well, you smell like a chemist, then, something There's nothing wrong with smelling like a chemist.
People smell like chemists all the time.
Cherie? Polly.
Hi.
Have you got a moment? Sure.
Is something wrong? No, no, I just thought maybe you could check Can er? Follow me.
Thanks.
Ceasefire? Darcy I'm sorry.
I'm SO sorry.
Thank you, Geraldine, for your apology.
And I'm sorry too.
I know it doesn't make up for anything.
No, it doesn't, but it's still good to hear you say it.
Just wish everybody else had been here.
You've never said it to me before.
I'm never going to say it again either.
Bye.
What were you thinking? I wanted to do it for you.
I wanted to surprise you.
Why? You knew that I didn't want that.
I wanted to see the look on your face when you But you think that if you do these things that we're going to be a family.
We are a family! No.
Well, what is it, then, when two people have a child together? I don't know! But not a family! Are you scared? Of what? Being a mum.
Yes.
Are you scared? Maybe.
Well, we're not a thing.
We're not going to be a thing.
And now my courtyard is a mess and my outdoor furniture is ruined! Well, it's you who wouldn't give me a key.
So, how are you doing? Yeah, good.
Good.
Yeah? Is he feeding alright? Yeah, really well.
Hey, little man.
Fast asleep.
You've got kids, don't you? Got a son? He's a toddler.
All my friends said the first few weeks are meant to be the 'babymoon'.
Just getting to know each other, the three of us.
It's different for everyone.
Took me a while to get used to it.
I'm sorry.
I feel like I failed.
It's alright.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Shh.
I'm sorry.
Polly.
Polly? Just because you took pain relief doesn't mean you failed.
There was nothing wrong with the birth.
I'm so scared it means I'm not going to be a good mum.
You're a great mum.
Just look at you.
You're a natural.
Really? He thinks so.
Hey? Mum's a natural, hey, little man? Hey, sweetheart.
He's such a big feeder.
He's gorgeous, Polly.
What are you doing on Skype? Aren't you supposed to be at the airport? No.
No, there's been a volcano.
Oh, my God! Are you alright? Yeah.
No, I'm not outrunning lava.
The volcano's in Chile but the ash cloud's come over and I'm stuck here.
All flights are grounded.
What?! Yeah.
And I'm not pregnant.
I just want to be home.
I'm sick of this hotel.
I want to be home in our bed.
I miss your body.
You too.
So how did the meeting with Rosanna go? OK.
After a really bad start.
Is she hot? What? Is she hot? Oh, well, you know, some people would think so.
Oh! Mick? Yeah? I think I'd feel better if you tease me with your nudity again.
OK.
One moment.
Mick, do the do the meerkat.
You get the meerkat.
Nina.
Hmm? You just missed Polly.
She was here? Yes.
They've withdrawn the complaint.
It's gone away.
How?! I think she just felt really terrible.
Cherie, you haven't You haven't put pressure on her or anything? Oh, no, no.
It was all her.
She just phoned her husband and admitted that she asked for the epidural.
So, it's just gone away? Yeah.
Just like that? Yeah.
I have to tell Patrick! Hi.
Hi.
So, what I said before Yeah? I meant it.
You're going to be in a new place, with new people.
There's no way it can work.
Yeah.
Still, there's a couple of days before you go I don't want to waste them.
Neither do I.
So what happens now? Hi.
Sorry, I know you said you'd see me tomorrow but I just wanted to let you know that the complaint's gone.
It's finished.
Good.
Yay! I'm not here because of the complaint.
Aren't you? This is private.
From me? Yes.
You have to go.
What is happening?! Patrick, come home.
Whatever it is, let me sit up with you all night and I'm your partner.
Please don't send me away.
Can't you just give me some space? No, I don't want to give you space.
I don't want you to push me away from you.
Oh, God! You're not listening! Patrick.
Can you please just go? He's not on drugs.
So what is it? Is it a decompression thing? Is it me? Don't do it, Nina.
Don't do it.
Oh!