Red Oaks (2014) s03e05 Episode Script
Paroled
1 I thought you loved me, babe But now I believe Hey.
[SIGHS.]
Wow, it's you.
Yeah.
I was, uh, just out for a walk, I saw this place, and I wondered if you're still working here.
Unfortunately.
What about you? Are you working? Y-Yeah.
I'm a-a P.
A.
at a video production company in SoHo.
What sort of stuff do you do? Oh, mostly fetch coffee, send faxes.
No, I meant the company.
Oh, yeah.
Commercials, uh, MTV videos, public service announcements.
Very cool.
- It can be.
- Yeah.
My, um, my friend Xan, she did a music video for this Scottish band called Aztec Camera.
It's getting airplay in Europe.
Huh.
Good for Xan.
Oh, that's right.
I forgot that you two hate each other.
Look, if you're too busy or this is weird Hey.
Hey, no.
No no, it's fine, really.
I'm glad that you came in.
It's nice to see you.
You, too.
[SKYE LAUGHS.]
Oh, my God.
You smoke now? Yep.
Guess I was a bad influence.
In a lot of ways.
You sure I'm not keeping you from your tables? I think they're okay.
Yeah, it's pretty dead in here tonight.
Every night.
That's why I'm quitting.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
Actually, it's good you came in when you did, - or you might have missed me.
- Where you going? [INHALES SHARPLY.]
Café Un Deux Trois, Times Square.
But only a couple nights a week, because I really want to focus on my jewelry.
Wow, that's so cool you've been selling your stuff.
Feels like I finally found my thing.
Métier, whatever you want to call it.
Yeah.
I'm really happy for you.
Thanks.
Uh, you ever make earrings for dudes? - Why? - Well, I was just thinking of getting mine pierced.
No, you're not.
- Oh, yes, I am.
Yep, for real.
- Uh-uh.
I think it could really work with my look.
[LAUGHS.]
-I think they say if you get your left pierced, you're straight; if you do the right, you're gay; and if you do both, you're bi, or like a buccaneer I'm not sure.
[LAUGHS.]
So which one are you these days? I'm nothing.
I'm celibate.
Oh? Not by choice.
I mean, it's just really hard to meet girls in this city.
Either they're crazy or in a relationship.
It's okay to admit it.
I ruined you for other women.
That, too.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
[LAUGHS.]
I was wondering if we'd ever run into each other.
Yeah, me, too.
My dad asks all the time.
I think he secretly wishes we were still together.
I doubt that.
Oh, did he tell you he hired me to make a video for him? Ugh, what for? Well, it's to convince the Red Oaks members not to sell the place.
Ah, his beloved Red Oaks.
Yeah.
The video turned out pretty decent.
And for your father's sake, I really hope it works.
Me, too.
I don't know what he'll do if it sells he loves that place.
[SIGHS.]
He, uh He told me once that when he was a kid, he used to be embarrassed because all of his friends' fathers were business executives who belonged to country clubs.
But his was just a high school teacher, so he and my Uncle Marv had to swim in community pools and play on public tennis courts.
It's like all he ever wanted in his life was to work on Wall Street and belong to Red Oaks.
Now that he's banned from trading for life the only thing he has to look forward to when he gets out is the club.
Good night, Parker.
So, uh, can I walk you home? I'll just get a cab.
Oh.
Okay.
Can I ask you something? Mm-hmm.
Did you come here tonight hoping to, [CLICKS TONGUE.]
you know, for old-times' sake? No.
No.
- No? Really? - No, no, no, no.
Not at all.
Oh, 'cause that's what "Can I walk you home?" is usually code for.
Really? I would like to think that on the walk between here and your place I would've realized it was a bad idea.
Yeah.
And I have a boyfriend.
Oh.
Well, okay.
Uh, I figured you probably I mean Funny enough, his name is Davide.
He's Israeli.
Is he an artist? He's in finance.
I mean, I know.
Just don't worry, the-the irony is not lost on me.
- Your dad must be psyched.
- [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, that's exactly why I haven't told him yet.
[CHUCKLES.]
So why did you come here tonight? Guess I was looking for a friendly face.
I'm glad.
It was nice to see you.
Yeah, you, too.
And the knife has got my number And the number that you keep And the knife is called division And it's drawn when I'm asleep.
How was dinner with your dad? Yeah, fine.
Cool.
What'd you get up to tonight? Donated sperm.
How'd that go? Pretty weird.
Dude, I'm sorry about earlier.
I [SIGHS.]
I love you, man.
[CHUCKLES.]
: Mm.
Me, too.
Oh.
Hello, gorgeous.
Hello there, handsome.
- Come here.
- [GIGGLES.]
- Hey.
- Ah! Mm! [GRUNTING.]
I want to kiss every inch of you.
- Mwah! - Mm.
Mm.
- You know what I want? - What do you want? Well, you know what I want.
[LAUGHS.]
: Yeah, I know what you better want.
But right afterwards, I want a big steak.
- Ooh.
- No, no, change that.
Cheeseburger, lot of fries, nice side of Scotch.
Whatever you want, handsome.
It's your day.
This is what we drive now? - Don't start, Doug.
- Ugh.
What is all this? Oh.
That's for work.
Work? What work? I got a job.
Really? Since when? About a month ago.
As a cruise director? As a travel agent, I'll have you know.
Fay, I thought we discussed this.
No, there was no discussion.
You were putting your foot down.
And I'm sorry, Douglas, from here on in, it's gonna be a little different around here.
You left me alone for a year.
I might as well been a widow.
I had to learn how to do the taxes myself, and-and how to deal with all the lawyers, and-and make all these big decisions on my own.
And you know what? I liked it.
In fact, I was pretty good at it, so I am putting my foot down.
As far as my job goes, that is non-negotiable.
Just a reminder, final seminar papers are due in my mailbox no later than midnight next Thursday.
Wheeler.
Yes, Professor.
Turns out I wasn't ovulating last week, after all.
It's all terribly confusing.
My cycle has never been what you'd call regular.
Mm.
Okay.
My point is we need to try again.
I've spoken to my gynecologist, and she feels fairly certain we'll have a real window of opportunity next Saturday.
So, until then, I want you to drink plenty of fluids and don't abuse yourself too much.
You need to conserve your strength.
Let me put a hundred on Sara's Smile in the fourth, another two on Private Dancer.
Actually, let me call you back.
Holy shit! Ghost of Christmas Past.
Uh, sorry.
Forgot they don't celebrate Christmas at Red Oaks.
Hello, Brett.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Ah, how are you? - [SIGHS.]
- Great suit.
Yeah.
- Oh, great.
Thank you.
You know, they buried my granddad in one just like it.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Teasing.
You look sharp.
- Come on in.
Sit, sit, sit.
- Thank you.
BRETT: Mm.
I appreciate you seeing me, Brett.
Of course.
I wouldn't be sitting in this chair if you hadn't hired me.
Yes, it seems that you've done very well for yourself.
In my day, the head pro didn't have an office.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that's what happens when you take a tennis program from sixth in the state to fifth.
[CHUCKLES.]
See that door? - My own bathroom.
- Oh.
- You want to take it for a spin? - No, maybe later.
So, Nash, what brings you in today? Ah, well, um, I'm sure you've heard the rumor that Red Oaks is potentially being sold.
Well, the members don't vote until next week, but on the off chance that the result is not as I hope, I thought it prudent to consider my employment options elsewhere.
Here? That be weird for you? Working under your old assistant, bumping into your ex-wife and her new husband by the pool.
She got herself a new pair of Pound Puppies, by the way.
[WHISTLES.]
Totally rocks a bikini now.
I'm happy for her.
- It is something.
- But as for working under you, I-I don't think that would be awkward or demoralizing in the least.
Well, as luck would have it, - I do need a new assistant.
- You do? Of course, I was thinking of someone along the lines - of a college kid.
- I'll take it.
Whatever the pay.
Wow.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay.
Awesome.
I guess that leaves just the-the one little formality.
Formality? Need to see you hit.
Oh, well, you've seen me hit dozens of times.
Yeah, not lately.
Got to make sure you haven't gotten rusty in your old age there.
Did you mean today? I'm-I'm not exactly dressed for tennis.
Doesn't matter.
Nash I knew never broke a sweat.
Hmm.
Well, do you have a pair of shorts that I could borrow from your pro shop? You know, I'm afraid we don't stock your size.
Ah, come on.
You're fine.
It'll be fun.
Like old times.
["DESTINATION UNKNOWN" BY MISSING PERSONS PLAYING.]
Life is so strange When you don't know How can you tell Where you're going to? You can't be sure Of any situation Something could change And then you won't know Ask yourself Where do we go from here? It seems so all too near Just as far beyond as I can see I still don't know what this all means to me Tell yourself I have nowhere to go I don't know what to do And I don't even know the time of day I guess it doesn't matter anyway Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange.
Well? I'm afraid your grill's exhaust hood isn't to code.
Okay, what's that gonna set me back? A commercial hood? Um, three or four grand.
[CHUCKLING.]
You okay, buddy? I'm just, I don't know where I'm gonna get that kind of money.
Spent all my savings fixing up the place.
Uh-huh.
You'll receive my full report - in three business days.
- Thank you.
Oh, piece of advice: you'll want to take care of the mouse problem before your health inspection.
I saw some droppings in the back.
Come on, Gracie.
That's supposed to be your job.
RON: We made good time.
Well, because we were doing 90 on the highway.
Oh, were we? Can't believe we weren't pulled over by a cop.
That's what radar detectors are for.
Do you still need me to help you with your presentation later? Yeah, I'm just gonna go drop my bags and grab my bathing suit.
Your bathing suit? No reason we can't catch a few rays at the same time.
I'll see you poolside.
Okay.
Red Oaks has always been like a second home to me.
And during some low points in my marriage, it actually functioned as a first home.
[OVER TV.]
: What does the word "home" conjure for you? I'll tell you what it does for me, besides the obvious, like mother's silent treatment and overly rigid toilet training.
GETTY: I like the Japanese.
Industrious people, very shrewd businessmen.
Hell, my wife drives a Toyota.
Home represents belonging.
Red Oaks belongs to me.
And I to it, forever and always.
Unless of course you sell to Japanese real estate developers.
As Americans, we got to draw a line.
I mean, if we start selling foreigners the land out from under our feet, what are we left standing on? NASH: I beg of you, vote no and save our home.
Ah, eat your lunch.
[KNOCKING.]
Hello? Professors? FOX: Back here.
Sorry I'm late.
The 1 train was running slow.
Hmm.
FOX: Are you coming? - Excuse me? - FOX: I'm waiting.
Hello? Professor Fox? - Hello, Wheeler.
- What the? Don't be afraid.
Where's Cecil? And why are you dressed like that? To make this easier for us both.
- Make what easier? - Coitus.
I'm not having coitus.
You must.
I'm ovulating as we speak.
What about the turkey baster? I threw it out.
It didn't work.
Don't worry, Wheeler.
I have no more intention - of enjoying this than you do.
- [PANTING.]
- [STAMMERS.]
- I'm sorry, I-I can't do this.
This is purely procreative.
I should've never agreed to this.
I'm sorry.
That's the closet.
I hope you find someone else's sperm, I really do.
Don't go, old bean.
[SIGHS.]
MAN: Sound speed.
WOMAN: Rolling.
MAN 2: Background action.
- ANNABELLE: David.
- MAN 3: And action! Hey, um, could I borrow you for a minute? - What's up? - I have to do some alterations on Joan Jett's outfit for tomorrow, but she already left.
What's that have to do with me? You're about her size.
- Come on.
- [STAMMERS.]
: What? Wait.
RON: You serious? You never had braces? I used to beg my mom for them when I was in junior high, but she said they cost too much so, instead, just do this - while I studied.
- Ah, smart lady, your mom.
I don't know.
She married my dad.
[CHUCKLES.]
- What's this? - Their best bubbly.
- Are we celebrating something? - Yeah.
That I made it through that presentation without upchucking.
You were great.
You didn't seem nervous at all.
Everyone seemed really into it.
You want to know my secret for stage fright? I picture the audience in their underwear.
- And that works? - Every time.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Uh, but, of course, today, I had you there, so I didn't need to.
No? No, I just pictured you in yours.
Good thing I'm not wearing one of my ratty pairs.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Uh, seriously though, thank you for being my good luck charm.
No, thank you.
This has been amazing.
I-I met so many interesting people.
I have learned so much.
And I made a lot of good contacts.
Might have to drag you to more of these things.
[CHUCKLES.]
Whew.
[CHUCKLES.]
I better slow down.
Or eat something.
I'll order some food.
I feel ridiculous.
Well, you look cute.
You should wear women's clothes more often.
Ha-ha.
Ow! God, you squirm more than my sister.
Was she your first victim? Yeah, I used to make all of her dresses.
Junior prom, beauty pageants, her wedding dress.
Oh, wow.
So you've always wanted to be a designer? Designer? Geez.
I don't know.
I just have always loved sewing, you know? Working with fabrics, cutting patterns.
There's something super gratifying about making something pretty and artistic but still functional.
It's like a painting or a sculpture that somebody walks around in.
That sounded really pretentious, didn't it? - [CHUCKLES.]
- No.
You ever wonder if you're wasting your time trying to make it in this business? Thanks a lot.
Oh, no, I don't mean you.
I mean, like, anyone.
[SIGHS.]
You're not wasting your time, David.
But you are letting Derek mess with your head way too much.
Well, he's been doing this a long time.
It's still just one man's opinion one very unhappy man who wishes he was a director, so he's resentful of anyone young and talented.
Especially someone he thinks is hot.
Huh? God, you're clueless.
Wait, you're saying Derek's being such a dick to me - because he thinks I'm talented? - I'm saying that ultimately it doesn't matter what he or anyone else thinks.
I mean, people's opinions are speed bumps, they're not brick walls.
I'm not even sure that talent matters all that much.
I mean, think about it.
This is New York City, where anyone who was ever voted Most Talented in their high school moves.
So they can't all make it.
It can't just be about talent.
It's about who wants it more.
Thanks, Coach.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
Thank Noah.
He's the one that gave me that pep talk when we first moved here and none of the fashion houses - would hire me.
- Well, I'm actually glad, 'cause you wouldn't have wound up working here.
Aw, Jesus, what the fuck are you wearing? You look like a rent boy.
GETTY: Larry, Sarah, nice to see you.
Step on up.
Grab yourself a ballot.
They got the little pencils there for you.
- Herb, how are you? - Douglas.
How are you adjusting to life on the outside? - It's not bad.
- Oh.
Did you wind up going gay in the slammer? Not even tempted.
Oh.
I don't blame you, with a looker - like Fay at home.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
HERB: But if you get locked up again, I may have to make a move.
I don't think you came in here just to kibitz and compliment my wife.
Rebecca Horowitz sent you in here to see if I'm intimidating voters, right? Or stuffing the ballot boxes.
Do me a favor, tell her to go fuck herself.
- Oh.
- Seriously, ever since she became president, this place has gone to hell in a handbasket.
Am I right? Come on, you know I'm right.
Tell me if I'm wrong.
I'm not wrong.
- Bernie, thank you.
- Yeah.
[QUIETLY.]
: Oh, geez.
Is his name Bernie? I don't think it is.
Shit.
- RON: Disgusting.
- [MISTY LAUGHING.]
If you are so grossed out by people's mouths, then why did you become a dentist? For the babes.
Be serious.
Okay.
For the money.
I don't believe you.
All right.
So, um, I have a confession to make.
- Uh-oh.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Wh When I first met you, I-I thought you were a stripper.
[LAUGHING.]
What? Well, in my defense, you got the bod.
And for some reason, a lot of exotic dancers I've known want to be hygienists.
- Wow.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know whether to be flattered or offended.
The former.
Or is it the latter? I don't know.
I could never keep those straight.
-Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
[SIGHS.]
- [YAWNS.]
- Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I boring you? No.
No, I just - It's been a long day.
- Mm-hmm.
Well maybe it's time we get you to bed.
I can't, Ron.
[RON SIGHS.]
Why not? Well, because you know, we're, like, colleagues.
- Colleagues? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't.
Uh what the fuck? Are you seriously blowing me off right now? - [STAMMERS.]
- I have a boyfriend.
That stoner in the shit-colored station wagon? He's not a stoner.
- At least not anymore.
- That's pretty JV, don't you think, right, screwing your supplier? He's not my supplier; he's a college student.
Mmm.
-He's really smart.
He goes to Cornell.
Ooh, let me guess: hotel management? Uh, look, do you really think I brought you here for your witty conversation? The only way I've been able to stay awake all night is by staring at your tits.
And as for us being "colleagues," you seem to forget I have a doctorate in dental medicine, whereas you scrape teeth.
You're basically a cleaning lady in scrubs.
Where you going? I'm going to take a piss.
I'll leave this.
Take your time.
You know I don't know where he-he went.
Um do you think that I could maybe sign his name and put it on his bill? Room number? Oh, he's, uh, 213.
[CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY.]
Front desk says the guest in 213 checked out.
What? When? About 20 minutes ago.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
Why do they laugh At the words that I say? You okay? [SIGHS.]
Fine.
Want me to kick his ass? Try and kick his ass? I just want you to take me home.
I wanna make believe that you're here I won't let the image of you disappear And when they bring me down to my knees [IGNITION SPUTTERS.]
- Hey.
- Just came to say good-bye.
Oh, my God.
What happened? Did you get fired? Not yet, but I will; so I wanted to say bye and make sure you have my number, 'cause it'd be cool to stay in touch.
David.
Wait.
David, wait.
What are you going to do? Something I should have done months ago.
- I quit.
- What? I figured I'd save you the trouble of firing me.
What did you do? It's not what I did.
It's what I'm about to do.
DAVID: Excuse me.
Hi, Joan.
Nigel, you probably don't know my name.
I'm just the guy that takes your lunch order.
I'm David Meyers.
I've made a bunch of short films and videos.
Here is my reel.
And here is my take on the Lucky Chow commercial, along with the shot list and storyboards.
You should check it out, because I'm talented, and I know I could direct the shit out of it.
Also, I'm cheap.
I'm sorry about this, Nigel.
I will have security throw his ass out.
Eh, don't bother.
I'm leaving.
["DAY-IN DAY-OUT" BY DAVID BOWIE PLAYING.]
Day-in Day-in Day-out Day-out Stay-in Stay-in Fade-out Fade-out Day-in Ooh, hoo, hoo Day-out Ooh, hoo, hoo She was born in a handbag Love left on a doorstep What she lacks is a backup Nothing seems to make a dent Uh! Uh! Gonna find her some money Honey Try to pay her rent That's the kind of protection Well, everyone is shouting about Hey! Hey! Day-in Day-in Day-out Day-out Stay-in Stay-in Fade-out Fade-out Day-in Ooh, hoo, ooh, hoo, ooh Day-out Ooh, hoo, hoo Day-in
[SIGHS.]
Wow, it's you.
Yeah.
I was, uh, just out for a walk, I saw this place, and I wondered if you're still working here.
Unfortunately.
What about you? Are you working? Y-Yeah.
I'm a-a P.
A.
at a video production company in SoHo.
What sort of stuff do you do? Oh, mostly fetch coffee, send faxes.
No, I meant the company.
Oh, yeah.
Commercials, uh, MTV videos, public service announcements.
Very cool.
- It can be.
- Yeah.
My, um, my friend Xan, she did a music video for this Scottish band called Aztec Camera.
It's getting airplay in Europe.
Huh.
Good for Xan.
Oh, that's right.
I forgot that you two hate each other.
Look, if you're too busy or this is weird Hey.
Hey, no.
No no, it's fine, really.
I'm glad that you came in.
It's nice to see you.
You, too.
[SKYE LAUGHS.]
Oh, my God.
You smoke now? Yep.
Guess I was a bad influence.
In a lot of ways.
You sure I'm not keeping you from your tables? I think they're okay.
Yeah, it's pretty dead in here tonight.
Every night.
That's why I'm quitting.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
Actually, it's good you came in when you did, - or you might have missed me.
- Where you going? [INHALES SHARPLY.]
Café Un Deux Trois, Times Square.
But only a couple nights a week, because I really want to focus on my jewelry.
Wow, that's so cool you've been selling your stuff.
Feels like I finally found my thing.
Métier, whatever you want to call it.
Yeah.
I'm really happy for you.
Thanks.
Uh, you ever make earrings for dudes? - Why? - Well, I was just thinking of getting mine pierced.
No, you're not.
- Oh, yes, I am.
Yep, for real.
- Uh-uh.
I think it could really work with my look.
[LAUGHS.]
-I think they say if you get your left pierced, you're straight; if you do the right, you're gay; and if you do both, you're bi, or like a buccaneer I'm not sure.
[LAUGHS.]
So which one are you these days? I'm nothing.
I'm celibate.
Oh? Not by choice.
I mean, it's just really hard to meet girls in this city.
Either they're crazy or in a relationship.
It's okay to admit it.
I ruined you for other women.
That, too.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
[LAUGHS.]
I was wondering if we'd ever run into each other.
Yeah, me, too.
My dad asks all the time.
I think he secretly wishes we were still together.
I doubt that.
Oh, did he tell you he hired me to make a video for him? Ugh, what for? Well, it's to convince the Red Oaks members not to sell the place.
Ah, his beloved Red Oaks.
Yeah.
The video turned out pretty decent.
And for your father's sake, I really hope it works.
Me, too.
I don't know what he'll do if it sells he loves that place.
[SIGHS.]
He, uh He told me once that when he was a kid, he used to be embarrassed because all of his friends' fathers were business executives who belonged to country clubs.
But his was just a high school teacher, so he and my Uncle Marv had to swim in community pools and play on public tennis courts.
It's like all he ever wanted in his life was to work on Wall Street and belong to Red Oaks.
Now that he's banned from trading for life the only thing he has to look forward to when he gets out is the club.
Good night, Parker.
So, uh, can I walk you home? I'll just get a cab.
Oh.
Okay.
Can I ask you something? Mm-hmm.
Did you come here tonight hoping to, [CLICKS TONGUE.]
you know, for old-times' sake? No.
No.
- No? Really? - No, no, no, no.
Not at all.
Oh, 'cause that's what "Can I walk you home?" is usually code for.
Really? I would like to think that on the walk between here and your place I would've realized it was a bad idea.
Yeah.
And I have a boyfriend.
Oh.
Well, okay.
Uh, I figured you probably I mean Funny enough, his name is Davide.
He's Israeli.
Is he an artist? He's in finance.
I mean, I know.
Just don't worry, the-the irony is not lost on me.
- Your dad must be psyched.
- [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, that's exactly why I haven't told him yet.
[CHUCKLES.]
So why did you come here tonight? Guess I was looking for a friendly face.
I'm glad.
It was nice to see you.
Yeah, you, too.
And the knife has got my number And the number that you keep And the knife is called division And it's drawn when I'm asleep.
How was dinner with your dad? Yeah, fine.
Cool.
What'd you get up to tonight? Donated sperm.
How'd that go? Pretty weird.
Dude, I'm sorry about earlier.
I [SIGHS.]
I love you, man.
[CHUCKLES.]
: Mm.
Me, too.
Oh.
Hello, gorgeous.
Hello there, handsome.
- Come here.
- [GIGGLES.]
- Hey.
- Ah! Mm! [GRUNTING.]
I want to kiss every inch of you.
- Mwah! - Mm.
Mm.
- You know what I want? - What do you want? Well, you know what I want.
[LAUGHS.]
: Yeah, I know what you better want.
But right afterwards, I want a big steak.
- Ooh.
- No, no, change that.
Cheeseburger, lot of fries, nice side of Scotch.
Whatever you want, handsome.
It's your day.
This is what we drive now? - Don't start, Doug.
- Ugh.
What is all this? Oh.
That's for work.
Work? What work? I got a job.
Really? Since when? About a month ago.
As a cruise director? As a travel agent, I'll have you know.
Fay, I thought we discussed this.
No, there was no discussion.
You were putting your foot down.
And I'm sorry, Douglas, from here on in, it's gonna be a little different around here.
You left me alone for a year.
I might as well been a widow.
I had to learn how to do the taxes myself, and-and how to deal with all the lawyers, and-and make all these big decisions on my own.
And you know what? I liked it.
In fact, I was pretty good at it, so I am putting my foot down.
As far as my job goes, that is non-negotiable.
Just a reminder, final seminar papers are due in my mailbox no later than midnight next Thursday.
Wheeler.
Yes, Professor.
Turns out I wasn't ovulating last week, after all.
It's all terribly confusing.
My cycle has never been what you'd call regular.
Mm.
Okay.
My point is we need to try again.
I've spoken to my gynecologist, and she feels fairly certain we'll have a real window of opportunity next Saturday.
So, until then, I want you to drink plenty of fluids and don't abuse yourself too much.
You need to conserve your strength.
Let me put a hundred on Sara's Smile in the fourth, another two on Private Dancer.
Actually, let me call you back.
Holy shit! Ghost of Christmas Past.
Uh, sorry.
Forgot they don't celebrate Christmas at Red Oaks.
Hello, Brett.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Ah, how are you? - [SIGHS.]
- Great suit.
Yeah.
- Oh, great.
Thank you.
You know, they buried my granddad in one just like it.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Teasing.
You look sharp.
- Come on in.
Sit, sit, sit.
- Thank you.
BRETT: Mm.
I appreciate you seeing me, Brett.
Of course.
I wouldn't be sitting in this chair if you hadn't hired me.
Yes, it seems that you've done very well for yourself.
In my day, the head pro didn't have an office.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that's what happens when you take a tennis program from sixth in the state to fifth.
[CHUCKLES.]
See that door? - My own bathroom.
- Oh.
- You want to take it for a spin? - No, maybe later.
So, Nash, what brings you in today? Ah, well, um, I'm sure you've heard the rumor that Red Oaks is potentially being sold.
Well, the members don't vote until next week, but on the off chance that the result is not as I hope, I thought it prudent to consider my employment options elsewhere.
Here? That be weird for you? Working under your old assistant, bumping into your ex-wife and her new husband by the pool.
She got herself a new pair of Pound Puppies, by the way.
[WHISTLES.]
Totally rocks a bikini now.
I'm happy for her.
- It is something.
- But as for working under you, I-I don't think that would be awkward or demoralizing in the least.
Well, as luck would have it, - I do need a new assistant.
- You do? Of course, I was thinking of someone along the lines - of a college kid.
- I'll take it.
Whatever the pay.
Wow.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay.
Awesome.
I guess that leaves just the-the one little formality.
Formality? Need to see you hit.
Oh, well, you've seen me hit dozens of times.
Yeah, not lately.
Got to make sure you haven't gotten rusty in your old age there.
Did you mean today? I'm-I'm not exactly dressed for tennis.
Doesn't matter.
Nash I knew never broke a sweat.
Hmm.
Well, do you have a pair of shorts that I could borrow from your pro shop? You know, I'm afraid we don't stock your size.
Ah, come on.
You're fine.
It'll be fun.
Like old times.
["DESTINATION UNKNOWN" BY MISSING PERSONS PLAYING.]
Life is so strange When you don't know How can you tell Where you're going to? You can't be sure Of any situation Something could change And then you won't know Ask yourself Where do we go from here? It seems so all too near Just as far beyond as I can see I still don't know what this all means to me Tell yourself I have nowhere to go I don't know what to do And I don't even know the time of day I guess it doesn't matter anyway Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange Life is so strange.
Well? I'm afraid your grill's exhaust hood isn't to code.
Okay, what's that gonna set me back? A commercial hood? Um, three or four grand.
[CHUCKLING.]
You okay, buddy? I'm just, I don't know where I'm gonna get that kind of money.
Spent all my savings fixing up the place.
Uh-huh.
You'll receive my full report - in three business days.
- Thank you.
Oh, piece of advice: you'll want to take care of the mouse problem before your health inspection.
I saw some droppings in the back.
Come on, Gracie.
That's supposed to be your job.
RON: We made good time.
Well, because we were doing 90 on the highway.
Oh, were we? Can't believe we weren't pulled over by a cop.
That's what radar detectors are for.
Do you still need me to help you with your presentation later? Yeah, I'm just gonna go drop my bags and grab my bathing suit.
Your bathing suit? No reason we can't catch a few rays at the same time.
I'll see you poolside.
Okay.
Red Oaks has always been like a second home to me.
And during some low points in my marriage, it actually functioned as a first home.
[OVER TV.]
: What does the word "home" conjure for you? I'll tell you what it does for me, besides the obvious, like mother's silent treatment and overly rigid toilet training.
GETTY: I like the Japanese.
Industrious people, very shrewd businessmen.
Hell, my wife drives a Toyota.
Home represents belonging.
Red Oaks belongs to me.
And I to it, forever and always.
Unless of course you sell to Japanese real estate developers.
As Americans, we got to draw a line.
I mean, if we start selling foreigners the land out from under our feet, what are we left standing on? NASH: I beg of you, vote no and save our home.
Ah, eat your lunch.
[KNOCKING.]
Hello? Professors? FOX: Back here.
Sorry I'm late.
The 1 train was running slow.
Hmm.
FOX: Are you coming? - Excuse me? - FOX: I'm waiting.
Hello? Professor Fox? - Hello, Wheeler.
- What the? Don't be afraid.
Where's Cecil? And why are you dressed like that? To make this easier for us both.
- Make what easier? - Coitus.
I'm not having coitus.
You must.
I'm ovulating as we speak.
What about the turkey baster? I threw it out.
It didn't work.
Don't worry, Wheeler.
I have no more intention - of enjoying this than you do.
- [PANTING.]
- [STAMMERS.]
- I'm sorry, I-I can't do this.
This is purely procreative.
I should've never agreed to this.
I'm sorry.
That's the closet.
I hope you find someone else's sperm, I really do.
Don't go, old bean.
[SIGHS.]
MAN: Sound speed.
WOMAN: Rolling.
MAN 2: Background action.
- ANNABELLE: David.
- MAN 3: And action! Hey, um, could I borrow you for a minute? - What's up? - I have to do some alterations on Joan Jett's outfit for tomorrow, but she already left.
What's that have to do with me? You're about her size.
- Come on.
- [STAMMERS.]
: What? Wait.
RON: You serious? You never had braces? I used to beg my mom for them when I was in junior high, but she said they cost too much so, instead, just do this - while I studied.
- Ah, smart lady, your mom.
I don't know.
She married my dad.
[CHUCKLES.]
- What's this? - Their best bubbly.
- Are we celebrating something? - Yeah.
That I made it through that presentation without upchucking.
You were great.
You didn't seem nervous at all.
Everyone seemed really into it.
You want to know my secret for stage fright? I picture the audience in their underwear.
- And that works? - Every time.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Uh, but, of course, today, I had you there, so I didn't need to.
No? No, I just pictured you in yours.
Good thing I'm not wearing one of my ratty pairs.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Uh, seriously though, thank you for being my good luck charm.
No, thank you.
This has been amazing.
I-I met so many interesting people.
I have learned so much.
And I made a lot of good contacts.
Might have to drag you to more of these things.
[CHUCKLES.]
Whew.
[CHUCKLES.]
I better slow down.
Or eat something.
I'll order some food.
I feel ridiculous.
Well, you look cute.
You should wear women's clothes more often.
Ha-ha.
Ow! God, you squirm more than my sister.
Was she your first victim? Yeah, I used to make all of her dresses.
Junior prom, beauty pageants, her wedding dress.
Oh, wow.
So you've always wanted to be a designer? Designer? Geez.
I don't know.
I just have always loved sewing, you know? Working with fabrics, cutting patterns.
There's something super gratifying about making something pretty and artistic but still functional.
It's like a painting or a sculpture that somebody walks around in.
That sounded really pretentious, didn't it? - [CHUCKLES.]
- No.
You ever wonder if you're wasting your time trying to make it in this business? Thanks a lot.
Oh, no, I don't mean you.
I mean, like, anyone.
[SIGHS.]
You're not wasting your time, David.
But you are letting Derek mess with your head way too much.
Well, he's been doing this a long time.
It's still just one man's opinion one very unhappy man who wishes he was a director, so he's resentful of anyone young and talented.
Especially someone he thinks is hot.
Huh? God, you're clueless.
Wait, you're saying Derek's being such a dick to me - because he thinks I'm talented? - I'm saying that ultimately it doesn't matter what he or anyone else thinks.
I mean, people's opinions are speed bumps, they're not brick walls.
I'm not even sure that talent matters all that much.
I mean, think about it.
This is New York City, where anyone who was ever voted Most Talented in their high school moves.
So they can't all make it.
It can't just be about talent.
It's about who wants it more.
Thanks, Coach.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
Thank Noah.
He's the one that gave me that pep talk when we first moved here and none of the fashion houses - would hire me.
- Well, I'm actually glad, 'cause you wouldn't have wound up working here.
Aw, Jesus, what the fuck are you wearing? You look like a rent boy.
GETTY: Larry, Sarah, nice to see you.
Step on up.
Grab yourself a ballot.
They got the little pencils there for you.
- Herb, how are you? - Douglas.
How are you adjusting to life on the outside? - It's not bad.
- Oh.
Did you wind up going gay in the slammer? Not even tempted.
Oh.
I don't blame you, with a looker - like Fay at home.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
HERB: But if you get locked up again, I may have to make a move.
I don't think you came in here just to kibitz and compliment my wife.
Rebecca Horowitz sent you in here to see if I'm intimidating voters, right? Or stuffing the ballot boxes.
Do me a favor, tell her to go fuck herself.
- Oh.
- Seriously, ever since she became president, this place has gone to hell in a handbasket.
Am I right? Come on, you know I'm right.
Tell me if I'm wrong.
I'm not wrong.
- Bernie, thank you.
- Yeah.
[QUIETLY.]
: Oh, geez.
Is his name Bernie? I don't think it is.
Shit.
- RON: Disgusting.
- [MISTY LAUGHING.]
If you are so grossed out by people's mouths, then why did you become a dentist? For the babes.
Be serious.
Okay.
For the money.
I don't believe you.
All right.
So, um, I have a confession to make.
- Uh-oh.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Wh When I first met you, I-I thought you were a stripper.
[LAUGHING.]
What? Well, in my defense, you got the bod.
And for some reason, a lot of exotic dancers I've known want to be hygienists.
- Wow.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know whether to be flattered or offended.
The former.
Or is it the latter? I don't know.
I could never keep those straight.
-Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
[SIGHS.]
- [YAWNS.]
- Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I boring you? No.
No, I just - It's been a long day.
- Mm-hmm.
Well maybe it's time we get you to bed.
I can't, Ron.
[RON SIGHS.]
Why not? Well, because you know, we're, like, colleagues.
- Colleagues? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't.
Uh what the fuck? Are you seriously blowing me off right now? - [STAMMERS.]
- I have a boyfriend.
That stoner in the shit-colored station wagon? He's not a stoner.
- At least not anymore.
- That's pretty JV, don't you think, right, screwing your supplier? He's not my supplier; he's a college student.
Mmm.
-He's really smart.
He goes to Cornell.
Ooh, let me guess: hotel management? Uh, look, do you really think I brought you here for your witty conversation? The only way I've been able to stay awake all night is by staring at your tits.
And as for us being "colleagues," you seem to forget I have a doctorate in dental medicine, whereas you scrape teeth.
You're basically a cleaning lady in scrubs.
Where you going? I'm going to take a piss.
I'll leave this.
Take your time.
You know I don't know where he-he went.
Um do you think that I could maybe sign his name and put it on his bill? Room number? Oh, he's, uh, 213.
[CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY.]
Front desk says the guest in 213 checked out.
What? When? About 20 minutes ago.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
Why do they laugh At the words that I say? You okay? [SIGHS.]
Fine.
Want me to kick his ass? Try and kick his ass? I just want you to take me home.
I wanna make believe that you're here I won't let the image of you disappear And when they bring me down to my knees [IGNITION SPUTTERS.]
- Hey.
- Just came to say good-bye.
Oh, my God.
What happened? Did you get fired? Not yet, but I will; so I wanted to say bye and make sure you have my number, 'cause it'd be cool to stay in touch.
David.
Wait.
David, wait.
What are you going to do? Something I should have done months ago.
- I quit.
- What? I figured I'd save you the trouble of firing me.
What did you do? It's not what I did.
It's what I'm about to do.
DAVID: Excuse me.
Hi, Joan.
Nigel, you probably don't know my name.
I'm just the guy that takes your lunch order.
I'm David Meyers.
I've made a bunch of short films and videos.
Here is my reel.
And here is my take on the Lucky Chow commercial, along with the shot list and storyboards.
You should check it out, because I'm talented, and I know I could direct the shit out of it.
Also, I'm cheap.
I'm sorry about this, Nigel.
I will have security throw his ass out.
Eh, don't bother.
I'm leaving.
["DAY-IN DAY-OUT" BY DAVID BOWIE PLAYING.]
Day-in Day-in Day-out Day-out Stay-in Stay-in Fade-out Fade-out Day-in Ooh, hoo, hoo Day-out Ooh, hoo, hoo She was born in a handbag Love left on a doorstep What she lacks is a backup Nothing seems to make a dent Uh! Uh! Gonna find her some money Honey Try to pay her rent That's the kind of protection Well, everyone is shouting about Hey! Hey! Day-in Day-in Day-out Day-out Stay-in Stay-in Fade-out Fade-out Day-in Ooh, hoo, ooh, hoo, ooh Day-out Ooh, hoo, hoo Day-in