South of Nowhere s03e05 Episode Script

- Oh my God, I can't.
- Yes you can.
So embarassed.
Ok - Can't I just do it like this? - You're such a wimp.
Ok! - Perfect.
- Can you just sketch it already, please? Girl, who wants to sketch? I just wanted to see you naked! Spence, we're home.
This is not what it looks like.
I'm not really sure what it looks like.
It's art.
- Picasso, I presume.
- Yeah but You can call me Pablo.
Mom, dad, this is Carmen.
Alright, focus, focus.
- Turtle.
- We need this one.
- We need this one.
- It's a bird.
- A turtle? - A bird? - The birds, the movie "The Birds".
- One Flew Over the Cucu's Nest.
- Bye bye Birdie.
- No, it's a duck, it's a duck.
- Howard the duck? - Donald Duck.
No no no.
Ducksoup? Point to Mrs.
Carlin.
Come on, that's totally not fair.
It's totally like three versus two.
It's not bad for someone who has never played before.
- Guess I'm just a natural artist.
- Yeah, more like a con artist.
You got me.
I'm a whole Pictionary hustler.
You got a little marker on your hand there.
That's that's a tattoo, right? Mi Vida Loca? Yeah, I'm getting it removed.
Who's next? Do you have to go? It's late.
Your parents can see us.
They're gonna have to get used to it.
I don't want them to get the wrong idea about me.
- I really don't care what they think.
- I do.
I saw the way your mom looked at me when she saw this.
- They'll get to know you.
- You don't even know me.
- What are you talking about? - I gotta go.
- Carmen, can you wait? - No.
- Yoga? - Coffee.
Already made.
Thank you.
So, you and Aiden, is it Is it over? A little soon to be out scavenging after my left-overs, isn't it? That's not why I was asking, I just wanted to know.
Yeah.
- Yeah, it's over.
- Because I think we both need new boys.
Or girls, whatever.
I'm so done with King High dating pool.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Here, let me help you with that.
- Thanks.
- Got it.
Hey, about last night, I'm sorry.
I totally wigged out on you.
Yeah, well - My family can be kinda overwhelming.
- No, they're nice.
- You're really lucky.
- I know.
So are we cool? - Yeah, we're cool.
- Good 'cause - I want to finish that sketch.
- Me too.
Alright, I'll call you.
- Later.
- Later.
Your homework may be much more interesting than mine.
What to expect when you're expecting.
If I didn't know better, I'd think you were getting a little excited about having this baby.
At first, it was like this problem.
But now like this something amazing going on in my body, you know.
- It's kinda cool - Hello, beautiful people.
No, this is freaks and geeks.
Beautiful people are two tables to the right.
Well, you are beautiful to me, Spencer.
And that shirt really brings out your eyes.
- Thanks.
- She wants something.
Clearly, yeah.
So do you want me to guess or are you gonna tell me? Ok, so, I heard through Shauna, who heard through Kyla that she and Ashley go to Ego like every night.
- And this matters because? - Don't you think it's a little unfair that Ashley and Kyla are kikking it at Ego while the hottest dancer on the West coast is sharing some rinky-dink rehearsal space at King High? J.
Lo's on campus? - Sorry, too easy.
- What's Ego? Only the hottest club in the corridor right now.
But I thought you had to be like 21 to go to those clubs.
Please, how do you think Lindsay Lohan does it? Rules don't apply to it-girls.
Most importantly, they can get people on the list.
Oh, so you want me to ask Ashley to get you in? Please.
I'll pretend to be your special friend for a week.
Not necessary but I will ask her.
Thank you, you're the best.
And seriously, you guys should come too.
Count me out.
I am not rocking maternity clothes to Ego.
Worked for Britney.
Thank you.
- She's crazy.
- She's crazy.
Alright, Gibrat's Law.
Size of units and growth percentage are statistically independent.
You are correct, sir.
- Hit me again, hit me again.
- Alright, you're on a roll.
Look, I only have to ace one more Econ exam and then, I can just sit back and wait for my acceptance letter to Marshall.
- Pretty confident, huh? - It's all about attitude.
Wow, man! What was that about? I'm sorry.
Alright? I I thought you were somebody else.
- Who, Wolverine? - Are you ok? - He's fine.
- No thanks to you.
- Man, what's up with you? - I'm fine, alright? You You need to stop sneaking up on people, ok? Right, I gotta finish studying.
I'll see you later.
So, Goldman decided to give us a surprise quiz on current events which I totally blew.
And then Mills is making us read Anna Karenina.
which started out promising, but evolved into 200 pages about farming.
- God, that sounds just so awesome.
- Yeah.
Admit it, you're jealous.
You totally regret leaving high school.
No, I'm not so much missing it.
- But I am missing you, though.
- Yeah, me too.
- But - I know.
Just It feels like we never see each other anymore.
Yeah, well I have homework, and you have Ego.
Speaking of Ego.
Madison was bugging me about some list.
Wait a minute.
Madison wants me to get her on the list? Yeah, can you like do that? Yeah, I can do that.
But why would I want to? Come on, as a favor to us earthlings down here.
For old times' sake? - Come on, she really wants to go.
- Do you? - Me? - Yeah.
- I don't know.
- Oh come on.
If If you go, I'll put Madison on the list.
Ok, sure, sure, I'll go.
Ok, good, then it's a date.
Do you have those little hearts earings? Yeah, they're in my jewelry box.
What are you doing? I'm chatting with this guy from Peru.
It turns out that we're famous.
- Wait, we're famous in Peru? - Yeah.
Emile is like my biggest fan.
He's like the son of a prime minister or something.
He totally wants to come and visit us.
Did you tell him where we live? - Yeah I may have mentionned it.
- Kyla! I was talking to him.
I don't wanna burst your bubble but let me put you in here on a little secret.
- People on line, they lie.
- Emile's not a pedophile.
He doesn't even live in this country.
Ok, I've been doing the celebrity thing a lot longer than you have and I know how it goes.
People are crazy.
So you can't just go around posting random information on these boards.
I wasn't posting it on any boards.
He's just one guy.
Well he could be one dangerous guy.
You cannot be so trusting.
You're so lame.
Ok, you know what? Are you gonna get dressed, or do I have to wait around for you all night to finish IM-ing? You know, you don't have to go to Ego to babysit me, alright? - I can go by myself.
- Really? This coming from the girl who was begging for me - to go to that little fashion show thing.
- Oh that was weeks ago, alright? - I can handle it now.
- Fine handle it.
Not going for you anyway.
- Boz? - Yo, Madison.
- Baby! - What are you doing here? My boy Shadee's spinning tonight.
Gonna show me how to play a scratch.
Wait a minute.
You wanna be a D.
J.
? D.
J.
Boz.
Got a nice ring to it, though, don't it? - This is amazing.
- Yeah I know.
I totally owe you a solid.
I don't have to sleep with you, do I? - Don't worry you're not on my to-do list.
- Ditto.
But thanks for getting us past those gate keepers.
Whatever.
Where's Spencer? She was right behind me.
Go in.
But I mean, I'm on the list so I don't see the problem.
Ash She wasn't on the list.
Come on, man.
We're talking scores of hot troubled chicks here.
Chicks with low standards, if you know what I'm saying.
- It sounds tempting but I'll pass.
- Is this about Ashley? Because I promise, there's gonna be plenty of other hot chicks there.
You know, breaking up with her was the best move you ever made.
Best move my sister ever made too.
Bro, there's hot chicks everywhere, alright? We don't have to go to some lame club.
Maybe you don't.
You get high school action, alright.
I work at Sports Time.
And when girls come in, cute girls, girls who play soccer, I'm wearing this lame-ass uniform.
Which pretty much just instantly stalls my game.
Yeah, that's your problem.
Alright, I'm gonna level with you.
When it comes to places like Ego, you can't just show up and get in.
You got something I don't.
- Are you really gonna make me say it? - Yep.
You're hot, ok? There.
Are you happy? And while I have plenty of other attributes these chicks dig it's that one that seems to get us in places like this.
And I need to go to this club, ok? So you have to do this for me, man.
Please.
Please.
Aiden? Aiden! What's your problem? Do you think I can just snap my fingers and get in whoever you want? - I left you a message.
- I didn't get it.
Fine, we'll just go.
What is she? Some kind of community service project? Alright, not everybody has a million dollar inheritance - to spend on designer jeans.
- Come on.
Are you guys like dating or something? Look, we're just gonna go.
- No, Spencer - I'll talk to you later.
You're on fire tonight, girl.
Jake? Jake? Madison? - Hey.
- What is this? - King High night at Ego or what? - No, it's creepy stalker night.
- What does that mean? - I'll explain later.
What, no dance? I go wherever I can, I check out the scene, and I move on.
This club is nothing compared to the ones I've seen in Tokyo though.
Really, I've never been to Tokyo.
Have you ever been to the buddhist temples? I lived in one.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Can I take your picture, Kyla? - Yeah, sure.
I do live with my family but they have a really nice house.
And digital cable.
I have my own room.
Don't I know you from somewhere? Ashley.
I've been looking all over for you.
We've got a serious problem.
Yeah, you're here, talking to me.
Problem solved.
- Its about Kyla.
- What about Kyla? The guy she's with, the one she's draping herself all over, let's just say he's the kinda guy that turns girls into statistics.
Really, and you would know this because None of your business but trust me, he's bad news.
Well, do I look like her keeper? If Kyla has a problem, tell Kyla.
Wow, and I thought I was all about myself! No wonder Spencer dumped you.
Excuse me.
I couldn't help noticing you on the dance floor.
You're something else.
Can I get your name? Can I get a better line? I'm with Kenny Talent Group.
Right, and I'm Beyoncé.
This place blows.
Give me my purse I'm leaving.
Leaving? What do you mean? The party's just getting started.
Have fun.
Madison.
I kinda need a ride, you know.
Hey, Madison.
Wait up.
Hi, Sasha? Yeah.
It's Aiden Dennison.
Yeah.
Look, you know how you wanted to talk to me about what life's been like after I got shot? Well, I think it's time we do that.
Honey? Where are you? In here.
Hey.
Late night? Two traumas came in right as I was heading out the door.
- Dinner's in the fridge.
- I knew I kept you around for a reason.
Are the kids home? I believe our son is trying to score hot babes.
And Spencer's out with Carmen.
- Now before you say anything - Arthur I am trying.
You know that I am trying, ok? I even invited that girl to stay for dinner.
And I played games with her.
Despite the fact that I found her painting our daughter half naked in her bedroom.
- You gotta admit pretty funny.
- Hilarious.
Arthur.
I was talking to some of the nurses and that tattoo Mi vida loca.
That is a gang thing.
- I know.
- And that doesn't concern you? Yeah, that's why I talked to Spencer about it.
- You did? - Yeah.
Apparently, the tatoo was an old girlfriend's idea and she was in a gang neighborhood for a while and got it for protection.
To look tough.
- How do we know that she's - We don't know.
But we do know our daughter.
You're sure Chelsea won't mind? It's for a good cause.
I mean, where else were we going to go? - Your place? - Way too supervised.
- Your place? - Way too occupied.
We're talking a one bedroom in Korea Town and five people on a crying baby.
Alright.
Well I gues that leaves us where we are.
- This is way better than Ego.
- Yeah.
What was up with that girl there? You mean Ashley? If you knew her, you'd get it.
- Get what? - Ashley.
I know how she looks, but it's not who she is.
She can be tough till you get to know her and then She's funny and surprising and challenging and a pain in the ass sometimes.
You sound like you're in love with her or something.
I mean we used to date but It was kinda intense and it's over now.
Want me to show you how over? What? I'm not intense enough for you? I'm not funny and surprising enough? Yeah Carmen, you're all of those things.
What is she? Cause from where I'm standing she seems like a stuck up, phony white trash bitch! She's not.
Look, she's had a hard time.
- Her dad died.
- Your brother died.
Like she's the only one who's ever had a crapy life? - Why do you keep defending her? - I'm not defending her.
I'm just saying that it's - You know, it's been hard.
- You're still in love with her.
What? - Where are you getting that? - You can't even deny it.
Did you just bring me there to make her jealous? No Carmen.
I wanted to be with you.
- I didn't even want to go there.
- But you did.
For her.
You went there for her.
Will you stop freaking out? - Let me help you.
- I'm not your community service project.
- Calm down.
- Don't tell me to calm down.
- Spencer I'm sorry.
- You should go.
- I didn't mean to.
- Now! - Hey.
- Hey.
I'm sorry I didn't put your friend on the list.
It's ok, it's no big deal.
- I feel bad, I was just - I said it's fine.
- How was your night? - It was ok.
Did you guys end up going somewhere else? No, we just - I don't wanna talk about it.
- Oh my God.
- Ashley? - Spencer, I'm gonna call you back.
Oh my God, Kyla Kyla, you are not even gonna believe what I just saw Ashley, this is Jake.
He's a fashion photographer.
- Blogger, actually.
- He's a genius.
Really? So what are you doing, genius? I am making your sister into a superstar.