Survivor's Remorse (2014) s03e05 Episode Script

1 He's helping me apply to colleges.
- Since when? - Since I asked.
I just want to know why you're bothering - the owner of my basketball team.
- Happy to help.
I want to go to college 'cause I don't want to be just sitting around here.
You got an excuse.
You're married.
Hey, I I had a job that I gave up before I came down here to support Reggie.
I'm getting another one.
You got great instincts.
I want you speaking up.
You're the smartest person I know.
Help me fix this.
This one, yeah.
Get a get the scarf.
Here.
That's it.
Amy, I am not responsible for what you promised the photographer.
The photographer's job is to photograph Cam for the magazine, not bring in a documentary crew to film him photographing Cam.
Okay, fine, add him to this call.
I'll tell him myself.
Looks like living in Atlanta is finally growing on her.
Oh, man, I love this.
Missy Incorporated up and running.
Give her a client to please or a business to start up - and watch the fuck out.
- Yes, I will hold.
The agent for Derek, the photographer I hired for tomorrow's shoot, is trying to make this all about Derek instead of Cam.
- Fucking people.
- People are the worst.
Fuck people.
You tell people who the who you is that they got to deal with.
- We behind you the whole way.
- Tell 'em.
I'ma tell 'em.
I'ma tell 'em fuck you - Derek? Hi, Missy Vaughn.
- [laughing.]
- I am thrilled to have you for the shoot tomorrow.
- Look at this.
Yes, but I I can't have you bring in a documentary crew.
It's a three-day shoot over multiple locations and I I want to limit distractions.
Straighten it.
I don't know.
Oh, thank you for understanding.
I will see you tomorrow.
[laughing.]
Baby, the, uh, stylist dropped off a lot of clothes.
And they are all comped.
What is worn can be kept.
But who's keeping track of prenegotiated perks? Oh, me.
Yo, if I hit the club in this, you can't tell me a thing.
Ooh, you hit the club in that, you won't have to tell me anything 'cause, see, I won't be with you.
- [laughs.]
Fuck you.
- That's my first impression.
Look, your wife chose this.
This is what the stylist dropped off.
- To to try on.
- Yeah, and in this case to take off.
- I'm sorry.
- Aw, damn.
- What's wrong? - I think I'm getting a cavity.
Baby, you can't see a cavity in the mirror.
You got to get X-rays.
CASSIE: How's the fitting going? - Eh.
- [chuckles.]
Ooh, M-Chuck with the power suit.
Hey, Ma said I got to dress up when I meet with Flaherty.
It looked so good, I wore it out of the store.
What you bothering Flaherty for now? She's asking him for extra money so you could buy some decent clothes.
[laughs.]
Oh, shit, cousin.
You got a consensus now.
Stylists, people who style people for a living, dropped this off for my shoot, okay? Looks like they dropped 10 pounds of shit in those pants.
What the fuck is that? Okay, I know you're not talking with your "Legend of Zorro"-looking ass.
- Oh, I see you, M-Chuck.
- Thank you.
So, Missy, what theme are you going for with this photo shoot? 24/7 with Cam Calloway.
What a day in my life is like.
24/7 is more like a week in your life.
Isn't that what the seven is, right, a week? It's for an in-flight magazine.
The real mark of fame is when people know who you are and what you do, but they have never seen you do it.
Ma, Chen sent you some massive shipping crate.
It's in your room.
Ooh, I hope it's priceless Chinese porcelain from the Ming Dynasty.
Though I prefer it just be him.
You know, long-distance relationships fucking suck.
So, Missy, do you have any advice for me before I sit down with Flaherty tomorrow? Well, my rules for interviews are to just try to be myself.
You know what? That's a good idea.
Mary Charles, tomorrow you should be more like Missy.
But in a good-looking suit, bitch.
You look good.
Fly.
Take that shit off, boy.
You look crazy.
- You heard your mother.
Why y'all hating so hard on the on the fit? - Y'all don't like it? - CASSIE: That's some bullshit.
- [laughing.]
- We're getting other things in.
- MISSY: Don't worry.
- REGGIE: Hammer, don't hurt 'em! So what else is in San Francisco besides my boo? I'm bidding on a contract to build prisons in Shanghai, so I'm visiting Alcatraz for inspiration.
Whoa, who who's on the bed? You got a bitch in the room? Oh, that.
I forgot.
You forgot you got a bitch on your bed? Cassie, my love, it's not a woman.
It is a prototype of a new technology I'm developing.
A cybernetic companion.
Or, if the marketing department has its way, a robot sex doll.
I thought you made sneakers.
A surprising amount of materials and engineering transfer over.
Holy shit, she looks just like me.
Of course.
She is the first.
And so she was patterned after the woman of my life.
So half of China is gonna be fucking plastic me? Never.
Cassie 2.
0 is the prototype and will be one of a kind.
Only I will have you, the holy grail.
[stammering.]
Wait a minute, Chen, it's not cool to to be fucking a a sex robot of me, uh, without my consent.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
She's brand-new.
I wouldn't dare break her in without your permission.
Ain't no duplicate me getting broken in.
Not now, not ever.
Cassie, you live in Atlanta.
I reside in Shanghai.
We cannot always be together.
Yes, this is a lot to absorb, but it's also a form of logistically imperative extended monogamy.
Chen, uh, hold the fuck up.
Now, wait a minute.
Don't be throwing no $10 words at me.
Baby, please don't tell me that that shit got a hole in the ass.
Um Oh, my God.
I neglected to consider that it might be outside your comfort zone.
My shipping tracker tells me a package has arrived for you.
I had meant it to be a surprise.
Inside you will find another robot.
Why would I want a sexbot of me? I've shipped you a sexbot of me.
I'm not getting on top of a sexbot of you! Not not not under or not behind.
Please, open your mind.
Why can't you just jerk off to porn like a regular motherfucker? I tried, but it felt disloyal.
[sighs.]
Chen, this is this is this is troubling.
This is very troubling and and and fucking weird.
This is love, Cassie.
This is love.
[chuckles.]
I didn't know you were stopping by.
Had some time before work.
Thought I'd come support.
Oh, hey.
Is this the wifey? Uh, I don't know about all that.
This is, uh, Allison.
And I forgot your name.
It's okay.
I'm Trina.
I'm really excited to work with you, Cam.
Thank you.
Uh, it's nice to meet you.
And you.
You don't know about all that? [stammering.]
Baby, she came out in rainbow tie-dye underwear.
- I was distracted.
- Do you want me to get rainbow tie-dye underwear? Come on, you know I didn't mean it like that.
- Mmm.
- My mom raised me old-school.
Like a wife is someone you're married to, wifey is someone you don't respect enough to marry.
I respect you.
Well, then thank you for not calling me wifey.
Cam, they need you.
- Sit tight, I'll be back.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, Allison.
- Hey, Squeeze.
What's with your hand? Doritos.
You got a moist towelette? Actually, I do.
Take me to Cam.
I don't like coming up on people without a proper intro.
Well, I am Reggie Vaughn.
I'm Cam's manager and Missy Vaughn's husband, incidentally.
She's having a root canal, so she'll be here momentarily.
Yeah, don't fuck with teeth.
Teeth got to last.
I like your stache, by the way.
It's clean.
Who did it? - My barber.
- People, people, Derek is here.
Look alive.
Right, right, right.
Hey, Cam, this is Derek.
Cam Calloway.
Love your work, man.
- Cam.
That short for Cameron? - It is, yeah.
You look fantastic.
Well, I see you've met my associates.
- Equipment.
Let's get serious.
- Settle in.
Who put you in purple? You a Prince fan? - That's, uh - Who put him in purple? - I am, yeah.
- Purr.
Purr, baby.
Make love to the camera, both of you.
Feel that connection.
Don't worry if you get aroused.
I'll fix it in post.
Ooh, there you go.
There you go.
- You smell good.
- She smells fantastic.
- Kiss her on the forehead.
- I I don't - I don't want to - Kiss her on the forehead.
Damn it.
That was sensuous.
- Oh, we good or - We just getting started.
Give it to him, give it to him.
Effervesce.
- Oh, wow.
- Arch your back.
Put your face in her chest.
I can't I can't do that.
Don't nobody do that in the club.
Put your face in her chest.
Come on, for the love of the game, let's go.
I got to go to work.
Cam.
- Bye.
- Love you! Back to work.
Show me fucking.
Okay, I was thinking about communications.
- I know it's a stupid major, but I - Who's saying that? Uh, I guess I'm saying that.
- Why? - I'm not sure.
Then stop saying that.
I will.
I will.
There's a lot of colleges in the area.
What do you know about their communications departments? Jack shit.
I made my first big money in hard cider.
What's that? Apple juice that gets you drunk.
- You got any now? - I do not.
[laughing.]
I could use a shot.
- [clears throat.]
- Come on, communications? Communications, right, yeah.
So I've been looking at sports announcers.
Women sports announcers on TV.
Analysts.
I could do that.
I got the personality.
Some people think I got a funny accent, but I think it to be an asset.
I just need to know what I don't know.
All right, we got an interest, we got a direction, we got some humility and some honesty.
I fucking love it.
I fucking love it! All right.
Sorry, I'm, uh I I bear hug people when I get excited.
- It's too much? - No, I'm a bear hugger, too.
Bear hug the shit out of me.
Ow! Oh, shit! Cam, that is fire, okay? This is salacious right here.
Hey, let's get him touched up.
I want to drop my key down half a stop and let's get this popping, come on.
WOMAN: Oh That's that's not the model I chose.
No, no, your choice booked a Vogue layout last night.
Had to fly to Paris and to replace somebody.
Look, I don't know how any of this shit works.
This is who the agency sent to replace her.
- But she's not - What's wrong? Of all the goddamn mornings to have a fucking root canal.
Uh, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Don't take it out on your tooth, okay? The dentist fixed it good.
So you're telling me that in Atlanta, Georgia, the black people capital of America, the modeling agencies couldn't find one other model who came in on the dark side of the paper bag test? Shh, break it down.
Baby, you put together a great photo shoot.
- Be proud.
- The idea of this was to improve the perception of Cam's character.
Also to change the perception that star athletes only date light-skinned women.
But now we got a damn near white girl next to him.
Okay, wait a second.
I will give you the green eyes.
I mean, it's not like that's Taylor Swift over there, come on.
Do you know what every dark-skinned girl thinks when she sees only light-skinned girls in magazines? I do not.
They think their dark skin has made them invisible.
What kind of pain pills are you on, hmm? Look, Ba I'm just I'm playing, okay? Look, I get it.
The story of these photos cannot be that if you are a star athlete, you only date light-skinned women.
Okay, first, single people don't date anybody.
They just fuck a bunch of multiple other single people until they feel so ruined by being used as a sex object that they finally decide to settle down and procreate.
Or so I've been told.
I met you before Tinder.
Okay, second, this is something that we will work on for next time.
So should I just tell Dihane Freeman that? Well, since she owns the publishing company that distributes the magazine, I'm of the mind-set that she got 99 problems and a light-skinned girl ain't one.
- Oh, okay.
- Look, hey, I know you want it to be right, but things ain't always 100% right.
Sweat this when it's the cover of Vanity Fair.
But today we just let it go.
All right? All my life I have been told to let it go.
Okay, baby, can we not - When I turned on the videos - Mm-hmm.
and it was nothing but light-skinned girls with long, wavy hair, they said, "Let it go, Missy.
" When it was the movies and every wife, girlfriend, - and everybody who was supposed to be hot - Shh.
was everything other than a brown girl, they said, "Let it go.
" I turn on commercials for damn shampoo and everybody's hair is bouncing and behaving but mine, and I'm supposed to let it go? Your hair looks it's moving right now - I'm tired of "let it go," Reg.
- Okay.
I'm tired.
And "we'll work on it next time" no, next time never comes.
That's how we keep having movies about Egypt - with nothing in it but white people.
- Are we skipping to Egypt now? Every other time it was somebody else's choice.
Today it's mine.
- Sideline, sideline.
- Hmm? I'm in the lab, okay? Y'all on some kill-my-vibe shit.
- Cam, Trina, take five.
- Derek.
I know who that is.
Hey, Derek, listen.
We got a problem with the model.
- And by we, you mean ? - Me.
And who the fuck might you be? - Whoa, player, this is my wife.
- I'm Missy Vaughn.
I'm the person who hired you.
Yes, Missy Vaughn.
You know, I recognized the voice from the phone call where you told me you could not afford to have any distractions disrupting your set.
So what can I help you with? We got to lose this model.
I hired a dark-skinned girl.
And she wasn't available, so we hired another model that I know to be better.
No, no, no, no, not not to me.
You're a professional, I'm the client.
Let her go and find someone new.
Reggie? Derek.
Missy's in charge here.
- Do you know do you know what this is? - Nope.
And you don't need to know because I do.
So the question is do I need this or don't I? - You don't know.
- Derek, the model we choose for the layout alongside Cam is anything but random.
I chose a model for a specific reason.
That reason is important to me.
I'm not asking that it be important to you.
But I am telling you that we will be getting a new model in here.
And if we have to, a new photographer.
You are welcome to stay or leave.
Oh, I'll stay.
And you will pay me and my twins overtime.
I can have another someone in here in 30 minutes.
Now, do you want them to be hot chocolate, fudge brownie or coffee with no cream? And notice how I'm asking you and not looking at Reggie at all.
Don't act like you don't know.
You are a black man.
Get me a brown girl.
Godspeed.
This is the way it has to go.
- I'll tell Cam.
- I'll tell the model.
I want you to know how much it means to me that you would take this leap.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Whatever.
Let's just, um, get this over with.
Okay, how does this work? - First, turn on the power switch.
- Where is it? It is located on the perineum in between the testicles and the anus.
You mean the taint? Yes, that's correct.
[groans.]
Fuck it.
Let me try this shit.
Okay.
And when you speak, it will respond.
- Seriously? - [chimes, whirs.]
I would not attempt to discuss world politics, but give it a try.
Okay.
Hello.
- Hello, Cassie.
I am Chen 2.
0.
- Oh, shit! And all I want is to bring you to ecstasy.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't do this.
Chen, look, I really appreciate you - Oh, yes, ride me, Cassie.
- for what you're trying to do.
- I mean - Reverse cowgirl.
other guys, they would have stepped out and never told me, but, baby, what you're actually doing is highlighting the problem, which is you're over there doing what you have to do and I'm here listening to robot you get his freak on.
I I can re-record my voice to be sexier.
- Baby, I'm regular, okay? - Oh, yes.
I just need a regular guy giving me regular dick on a regular basis.
I have no desire to have my back blown out by Buzz Lightyear.
Put him back in the box.
I overstepped.
Baby, I don't think you hear me.
Look, I'm not trying to stop you from living your life, but I need to live mine, you know? Short distance with my bed limited to actual humans.
Intimacy is difficult enough for me without the batteries.
[stammering.]
Are you breaking up with me? Well, baby, you still have the Cassie bot.
She is and shall remain a robot virgin.
Now she's just a pile of silicone and wires.
- Right.
- Hey.
- Oh.
- You all right? - Yeah.
- You look good.
- Like it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Listen, we're gonna swap out a model.
- Why? Uh, just Missy.
She didn't like that we had that, uh the light-skinned girl on your arm, so we're just gonna get another model.
- Really? - Yeah.
- You good, though, right? - I mean, you tell me, man.
Not like you came over and asked if it was cool if we swapped out a model.
Come on.
What you said was that we gonna swap out a model.
- Right, yeah.
- So are you you asking me or or are you telling me? It's just Missy thinks it's important that we make the change, that's all.
- Come on, man.
- Reg, you know all we do is family.
- You know that.
- Yeah.
Just before you and Missy start making decisions about shit that I got to do, at least give me the courtesy and let me put my two cents in.
- That's fair.
- Yeah, it's it's more than fair.
It's just not the way we do things.
Shit-canning someone when we already been halfway through.
She's not gonna leave here and say that Missy Vaughn fired her.
What she's gonna leave here and say is that Cam Calloway has fired her.
Okay, all right.
Okay, Cam, man.
Shit.
I'm sorry.
But, look hey, you know Missy, man.
I mean, she set this up and she didn't even want that girl, but, I don't know, some lines got crossed and she just want to make the change before we shoot any more.
I mean, this is big to her and she's just looking out for you.
You know, put on that Dihane Freeman and expectations and image.
I mean, she's done great.
I mean, look at this.
Mm, she shit-canned someone 'cause their skin tone wasn't up to Missy's par.
I mean, do you think that's right? Come on.
Look, I don't want to do this right now, okay? Can we Make sure the model that we fire gets paid for the whole shoot.
And then double it.
So we're gonna do this right even when one of us has done it wrong.
And let me know when the replacement model gets here.
I'll be in the trailer.
They just they just make this for you whenever you want? When I'm in the mood for some home cooking, I ask Rollie to fire up the grill and approximate home cooking.
Not that I have anything to judge against.
- How you mean? - My parents didn't raise me.
Which you can tell by the way I eat like an animal.
[laughs.]
I was reared by a coterie of marginally interested agents of the state who saw me as an easy way to earn a few extra bucks a month.
It's the sort of upbringing that makes you appreciate a good piece of fried chicken made just for you.
Hey, I really appreciate you taking the time with me today, Jimmy.
Taking an interest.
Hasn't been a great year for me.
I mean, working out my anger issues in therapy and all this other stuff.
Anger's a powerful emotion.
It makes you feel purposeful.
I see a lot of me in you.
Anger did a lot for me, in a good way.
Or so I thought for too long.
When you use it to fuel you, you end up doing something unrewindable, it changes the course of your life in a bad way.
You got to take anger and shrink it down into little bite-sized nibbles of manageable usefulness.
You mastered that? - Fuck no.
- [laughs.]
Not even close.
I think I can find you a job here while the school thing is working out.
- Really? - Well, I know I can.
I can give you a job.
I mean, I own this shit.
That was messed up, what you did.
I'm sorry.
I told you we needed to make a change for editorial reasons.
But you did great.
It it's not personal.
You're sticking to that? Okay, do that.
But I just want you to know that everybody in there knows that ain't the case.
That's how I know because they heard you tell your man that you are sick of light-skinned bitches winning.
And then you came to me and you shit on my day 'cause you're fucking Cam's manager.
I I am not just fucking him.
That is my husband.
I am his wife.
- [scoffs.]
- And you want to be real? I didn't pick you in the first place.
Again, it's not personal.
I don't know you.
I don't know the first thing about you, but let's not act like you've had this job for more than a few hours.
I'm sorry, you will be paid.
I just want to hear you speak the truth as to why I'm going home, but you won't because you are a coward.
All I know is that my whole life women like you have been winning.
Today I could put someone on that looked like me, so I did.
All right, there it is.
You said it.
But don't you see we're in the same boat? If the boat sinks, you think because I'm light-skinned, I don't drown? I thought that God had created this job for me.
He gave another model, the one you hired, a dark-skinned girl, who's my friend by the way, a job for Vogue.
God created two doors.
This door was for me.
But I guess I don't have enough color for you.
This job was a big job.
The exposure will be big.
It leads to more work.
It's a fucking airline magazine.
Relax.
You're the one with the lifeline.
My man ain't repping Cam Calloway.
So you think the way you look should only work in your favor? [scoffs.]
That is the most light-skinned shit ever.
You lose one job and can't take it.
The only reason you ain't getting fucked up right now is because I have a son, so I can't be in jail on some bullshit because I got to find another job to make these ends meet.
But know this, sweet chocolate honey, karma is a bitch.
Are you threatening me? Are you scared? - [computer chimes.]
- [sighs.]
Look, I don't think it's a good idea for us to speak.
Clean breaks are best.
CHEN: I've not eaten or slept.
Look at my eyes.
For the first time in my life, there are folds in the lids.
This is not easy on either of us, but it's for the best.
It's not.
We have been given to each other later in life when we are both smart enough to know what it means and how rare it is.
To walk away from this gift is to walk away from God.
I thought Chinese people weren't religious.
Not officially, but unofficially, we are just as confused as everyone else.
I'm not a god, Chen, okay? I I can't shrink the world.
I'm not a god either, but I can.
Come to your window, Cassandra.
What what the hell are you talking about? Come to your window, Cassandra.
Baby, I've got three fucking windows.
Which one? The front.
Baby, take a ride with me Just beneath the stars I know what you're thinking, love I will give you my love Ooh-ooh, baby I will give you my love, baby I will give you, baby I will give my love, baby Ooh-ooh, baby I will give, baby I will give, baby.
- So go ahead.
- Go ahead and what? You don't have to pretend like today wasn't messed up.
So whatever you have to say, just please go ahead and say it.
I have had a hard enough day without having to lay with you tonight knowing you probably believe I did every wrong thing I could think of.
I didn't say none of that.
- But you want to.
- I don't.
So go ahead, tell me.
Tell me what I did wrong because I can feel you just steeping in it.
Brewing.
Go.
Say it.
All right.
The on-the-fly shit can't happen again.
Cam don't like that.
He don't like public drama.
He's had enough of that.
We all have.
You came in, you made business moves on your personal shit.
Oh, fuck that.
Those were business moves, Reggie.
It's not personal shit.
It's anything but personal shit.
It's global shit the shittiness of which I have an obligation to point out.
Sometimes it just takes one person to stand up for what's right.
And sometimes when that one person has an emergency root canal, shows up late, they just got to roll with it.
- Oh.
- I'm just saying.
- So stay in my lane.
- Nope, that is not at all what I When Cam was out there with the frozen nose debacle - Nostrils.
- and you needed my help, did anyone tell me to stay in my lane? I helped save Cam's ass and yours.
And now when it's time to get my back, both you and him are shitting on me.
Who's shitting? Who's shitting? We did what you wanted.
This this right here is what people in our business do.
They recap the day's events.
They revisit things done well, done not so well, try to do better for the next time.
- Okay, let's recap.
- Let's recap, Missy.
Nothing burned to the ground.
No one was hurt.
The photographer, although an asshole, did a wonderful job.
I just want you to have my back.
You want I no, no, I had your back, okay? I didn't stand in your way.
I risked Cam being bullshit at me for the way we went about it.
But what about my back? See, while you were doing all your black girl magic, - you had me standing there looking like a fool.
- Oh.
- You'll be all right.
- I will.
And I am, but I didn't stand in your way because I respect you and I love you.
And if in all of that you think I didn't have your back, it's only because you was too damn busy walking all over mine.
Sure, go on.
Mansplain me some more.
[chuckles.]
I find it curious that you proclaim to cherish communication and honesty, and yet when I put into words what I feel and what I felt, you choose to diminish it.
I still think what I did had to be done.
- Clearly.
- It's important.
Only because Cam puts the ball in the hoop.
- Because, see, baby, that's what this is.
- Oh! There are no deals that I'm making, no conversations I'm having, no, uh, Freemans, no photographers, nothing if Cam don't put the ball in the hoop.
But he does.
A month ago, Missy, you were searching for a purpose and a career move.
And now you're Melissa Vaughn, media consultant.
Okay, I had a career before I was dragged down here.
You know that and let's not talk about that.
And for the record, dressing me down and explaining your position from some enlightened point of view is the definition of mansplain.
Wow.
Fucking wow.
Are we this couple right now? Is this what we're doing? God, fucking hell yes.
I am a man.
I am your husband.
I can only speak from my own point of view.
Yes, you saved Cam and my ass, but look what he's done for me and now for you.
His job, what he does, has given us all opportunity and now you, too.
In any form of affirmative action, there is a benefit to society that outweighs the inevitable collateral damage to certain individuals.
- That's how it works.
- Okay, I got it now, Missy.
See, I didn't realize that we were doing social engineering.
I just thought it was a magazine spread.
It's the same fucking thing! It's not what you did, it's when and it's how.
It's not realizing that the moment had passed, baby, and that doing good was actually bad.
Bad for Cam, bad for the model, bad for me, and even bad for you.
So in other words, I should have been content to be a part of the problem.
We're all a part of the problem sometimes.
Well, I'm not sorry.
I'm glad I did it and I'd do it again.
I know.
And that's why I love you.
That's why we're talking.
That's why we're drinking.
That's why tomorrow all this stuff will still be true.
Want to go upstairs, burn some of this out our system? Not right now, no.
Okay.
Give me half an hour.
I'll be in the bed.
[sighs.]
I must have been crazy, crazy, crazy What about love? When I left, hey, when we were through It was beyond My wildest dreams, baby That I had to come crawling, crawling back to you Begging forgiveness Down on my bended knees I found the hard way Only you can satisfy me Pity the fool Hey, baby Pity me Pity a fool, mmm Pity me, baby Pity me, baby Pity a fool.