The Croods: Family Tree (2021) s03e05 Episode Script

1
Hm. It works!
The Betterman Leaf Weight works!
Phil Betterman, one.
Wind, zero.
Now, I must share this
glorious news with the others,
and bathe in their apt praise!
Behold, the Betterman Leaf-- Eh.
Anyone in here? Nope.
Well, well, well
they're not in the well.
Hello?
Anybody?
Where is everyone?!
Oh, they're just going
on a hike without me.
They're going
on a hike without me!
- It's fortunate
I caught up with you
to share this
scientific breakthrough.
And so, through the phenomena
of mass and absence of motion,
the Betterman Leaf Weight
holds the leaves in place.
- Uh, that's it?
That's all it does?
- Yeah, can you eat it?
- What? No.
Don't you see?
It holds the leaves in place.
Do you know what would happen
to the leaves without it?
- They'd move?
Because they're leaves?
- Precisely.
- You did it again, Dad.
Oh, so, Grug? Can we play
one of your fun games?
-Wha-- Oh, a game, huh?
I'm not sure now's a good
time for that because
we're standing on lava!
- Everyone move! Everyone move!
- What? There's no lava here.
What's wrong with you people?
- Have you been poisoned?
- No, Phil.
It's a game Dad came up with
to make hiking more fun.
- Yeah, Grug makes
everything more fun.
- Bearacudas! Play dead!
- This game is my favorite.
Because I get to lie down and--
- But you want this hike
to be fun, eh?
Well, why don't we fashion
a rudimentary compass
and triangulate our position
using the sun?
- Now, that's a good time.
- Fire!
- Log roll!
- There's no fire.
Have you gone mad?
Wait. I understand now.
You're pretending
there's a fire.
All right, I'll play.
Yes! This is
rather amusing! Gah!
I've rolled onto
the Betterman Leaf Weight.
My latest triumph
is also my undoing.
Hope,
you think I'm fun, right?
- I think you're fun
in your own way.
- So, you think I'm fun.
- That's not what I said.
- It's exactly what you said
with a few more words.
- Phil, you're not hearing me.
Grug is fun. He's wild,
he's loud, he's unpredictable.
He's like a child trapped
in a man's body.
- So you don't think Grug is fun.
- Gah! That's not what I said!
- It's exactly what you said.
If you'd said something
completely different.
- You don't have
to compete with Grug.
- Just be Phil.
- Excellent idea, Hope.
I'll give everyone
a dose of Phil fun.
- Not what I said!
Thank you for joining me.
Though, if I'm being honest,
you should be thanking me.
- Thanking you for what?
- For this!
I'm calling it
the Betterman Sound Stick.
I know how much
you all enjoy fun,
so here's some fun
for your ears!
- When does the fun start?
- It sounds like
that stick is crying.
- It sounds like it needs
to be put out of its misery.
- I'll do it!
- Let's not be so hasty.
Just because
it isn't fun now doesn't mean
it won't become fun.
- Maybe, we just need some drums.
Ooh, yeah. There we go. Come on!
Grug! Grug! Grug!
- Kapaw!
Hello, science enthusiasts.
I'm-- Oh, wait.
Where are the others?
- Oh, they, um,
said they were, uh, busy.
- Oh, they're not busy.
They just didn't wanna--
Oh, right. They told us
to tellyou they're busy.
- Smooth.
- As I was saying,
I'm Physics Phil.
- I thought your name was Phil.
- It is, but I added "physics"
because today,
we're going to learn about--
- Ooh! Tongues!
- What? No.
We're learning about physics
and other sciences.
- So, why isn't your name
Physics and Other Sciences Phil?
- Or just Science Phil?
- Silence!
- Wait. Silence or Science?
- Stop talking at once!
- Got it.
Definitely Silence Phil.
Now, I'll need a volunteer
for our first experiment.
Anyone?
Anyone at all?
Ah, yes! Dawn!
- I think you should pick Thunk.
-Fine.
- It's Thirsty Thunk today, Phil.
You're not the only one
with a cool nickname.
- Thirsty Thunk?
Why? Are you thirsty?
- No, why do you ask?
- You just said-- Ugh.
- Never mind.
Now, what do
you think will happen
when I release this papaynapple?
- It'll hit me in the face?
- See?
Now we're getting somewhere.
This is gonna be a blast.
- Wrong! Watch.
Isn't science fun?
- Not as much fun as I thought,
but you can't win 'em all.
- Yeah, it'd be way more fun
if it hit Thunk in the face.
- I agree, and it's my face.
- Sorry your experiment
didn't work, Dad.
- It did work! That's the point!
- Ooh! Papaynapple punching bag!
Grug! Grug! Grug!
the first of what
I hope will be many
thoughtful and whimsical
discussions
on topics of my choosing.
- Hey, Phil.
- Where is everyone?
Aren't they interested
in my thoughts and my whimsy?
- Uh, I think they
were busy again.
- Wait, we don't have to be here?
- Oh, right.
I-I'm supposed to say
I'm happy to be here,
so you don't feel bad.
- Very well.
Then I suppose
it's just you and me
and every observation
I've ever had about everything.
- Oh no.
This is gonna take forever.
He has so many observations.
- Maybe, he's gonna
blow our minds?
What's the deal with rocks?
- Or maybe not,
but I'm not giving up hope.
- Some rocks form
when magma solidifies
and crystallizes beneath
the Earth's crust.
- See? I didn't know that.
- I don't wanna know that!
- Interesting note, sediment can
consist of rocks and minerals.
Yes, I suppose sediment
is an amusing word.
Now magma, in turn--
- I certainly don't think magma
is a laughing matter.
- What is so funny?
Ahh! Who is doing that?
Grug?!
Grug! Grug! Grug!
- Aww, Douglas!
Hey, Phil.
I've never seen anyone
swing so sadly before.
- I stand corrected.
- I just don't understand.
Science, music,
extensive and compelling
lectures about rocks.
What else could I do
to prove I'm fun?
- Well maybe
stop trying so hard
to be something you're not.
- Hmm. Hope, you're a genius.
I should start trying to be
someoneI'm not. Grug!
- That's not what I said!
- Woo! Yeah!
- Oh no! I lost the coconut!
- Don't do it, Dad.
- Oh, wait, never mind.
- I found another one!
- What a preposterous
concept.
Humans don't even
look like coconuts.
Erase your intellect, Phil.
Be Grug.
Oh no!
I cannot find mycoconut.
- Dad, you're holding it.
- Oh, right,
but where is my other
anthropoid-shaped coconut?
- Ooh, there she is!
- Dad, no.
- This is a bad idea.
- Well, the good news is that
could've gone a lot worse.
- Looks like I found
another coconut!
- No, no, no, no, no!
- I'm not a coconut! I'm a man!
- Okay, Sandy.
You hide and I'll hunt you.
One two,
the number
that comes after two--
- What's going on here?
Why are you covering your eyes?
Have you been staring
at the sun again?
- No, Sandy and I are playing
hunt-or-be-hunted.
Sandy hides
and I look for her.
- Yes, Grug. I know how to play.
I don't need
your game-splaining.
- Now, where could
Sandy be hiding?!
A-ha!
- She won't answer you
because she's hiding from you.
- I know that, Phil,
but it's fun for Sandy.
- There must be a more efficient
way to locate your daughter.
Perhaps, we should fashion
a rudimentary compass
and triangulate her position
using the sun?
- No, Phil, because the hunting
is fun for me.
- Sandy, I've found you!
- The game is over!
- You have lost!
- Phil!
- Now, wasn't that fun, Sandy?
- Okay, guys, everyone ready?
Yeah!
- On the number that comes
after two, we throw--
- Fear not, Phil's here, which
means the fun can begin!
- Oh, you wanna play, Phil?
Great!
Okay, here we go.
One two,
- the number
that comes after two--
- Time out!
- Yes, Phil?
- We're trying to hit each other
with the bounceberries.
- Do I have that right?
- That's the idea.
- How barbaric, and wasteful,
and messy,
and did I say barbaric?
- It's a game.
It's supposed to be fun.
- You don't have to tell me that.
I live for fun like this.
It is the very air I breathe
and the water
that quenches my thirst.
- Okay One, two--
- Time out.
And we're also trying to avoid
being hit by the bounceberries.
- Is that correct?
- Yes, Phil.
- Now, can we just play?
- Of course.
- One--
- Time out!
- What?!
- Is it possible to play
without throwing
or being struck by fruit?
- So, I heard about
the bounceberries.
- I think it's time for you
to leave the fun to Grug, Phil.
Fun is his thing.
- Right, and science is my thing.
I'll use science to isolate
the fundamentals of fun!
Or the fun-damentals.
- Fun-damentals and fundamentals
are the same word.
- I'll invent a Funometer
to measure fun.
I'll prod and I'll probe,
study and quantify,
analyze and dissect.
And when I'm done,
I will have wrung
the very life out of fun!
- Doesn't that sound fun?!
- These spark peppers are
supposed to be insanely hot.
- So, why are we eating them?
- For fun!
- And because we're hungry.
- Guys, I'm,
I'm not feelin' anything.
- Hmm spicy is fun.
- Gah! Nice try, Sandy,
but you'll have
to try harder the ne--
You made my heart stop.
Do it again!
- Hmm scary is fun.
- Too fast! Too fast!
- Okay, let's stop!
- No, no! Faster! Faster!
Woo! Wee!
- Hmm speedy is fun.
They want fun?
I'll give them fun.
I'll give them so much fun
their smiles
will be permanent proof
of the fun
to which I gave rise
for the rest of eternity!
Stop staring and start laughing!
Sorry, I was just
waiting for my turn.
That's better.
No way!
- Woo-hoo! I've done it!
Done what?
- Created the scientific zenith
of fun in one location!
- Phil, are you okay?
You're vibrating.
- Yes, with fun!
And also, lack of sleep,
but mostly fun!
Follow me!
- Well, watching Phil
lose it should be fun.
- Well, this looks fun.
Unsettling, but fun.
- Phil, what is this?
- Welcome to Phil's Fun Farm!
Step inside through my mouth!
- I've never walked through
a mouth before.
- The last time I did,
I almost didn't walk out.
Because I was being digested!
- C'mon, everyone.
Let's get this over with.
- Mom, is Dad broken?
- It's complicated, Dawn,
but the short answer is yes.
- Welcome to Phil's Fun Food.
- Are those pies?
- Indeed.
We've an assortment of treats
and refreshing lemon drink.
- Well, this isn't so bad.
In fact, it all looks delicious.
- Delicious andfun.
Take a bite and you'll see.
- Mmm. Well, it's delicious,
but where's the--
Wha!
Phil, what's in this?
-Lava peppers!
Based on my research,
eating spicy food is fun!
-Yeah, Dad,
but lava peppers are too spicy.
- I can't feel my face--Ah!
-Water! I need water!
- How about some refreshing
lemon drink instead?
-Ah, much better.
- There's lava pepper
in the lemon drink!
- Isn't that fun?
- I have been on your side
this whole time, Phil,
but you're starting to lose me.
- Haa, I'm never
eating pie again.
Ooh, bug nuggets.
- Thunk! No!
- Relax, guys.
They're fine-- Ahh!
- Follow me for more fun!
- Science says fear is fun,
so enter Phil's Fun Frights
if you dare.
- Phil, what's in that cave?
- Fun!
- All right,
this looks promising.
I'm pullin' for ya again, Phil.
- Pfft, I'll go.
Phil can't scare me.
Phil, I don't get it!
It's pitch black in here.
How can I be frightened
by something I can't see?
You sent me into
a bearacuda cave?!
- Why?!
- Ah! Because fun!
- You're one twisted mister,
Top Knot.
In my day,
fun like that started wars.
- Phil, breathing fire and being
mauled by bearacudas isn't fun!
What is wrong with you?!
- Yeah, I've had enough
fun for today. Let's go.
- No! Don't go! Please!
There's just one more attraction
and I promise you'll love it.
- Phil, why are you
doing all this?
- Because Grug isn't the only
one who's fun around here,
and I'm about to prove it.
- Quickest way out of this
is to just go along with it.
Fine.
- Wonderful!
I appreciate your enthusiasm.
Follow me-- Ah!
And now, I present
Phil's Fun Fast Fest!
- What're we
lookin' at here, Phil?
- You're looking at
the ride of your lives.
You'll go up, down,
round and round,
upside-down, sideways,
and all things in between.
- Is that it?
- Sandy, don't eat your seat.
- We're riding in corn!
- Until it stops or pops!
- I think this is the one, Phil,
but these vines might
be a, a little tight.
- They have to be tight
- Ooh!
- or you'll fly off the ride.
- Already havin' fun!
- Excellent. Keep your arms down
if you wanna keep them.
- Just kidding.
But keep your arms down.
Are you sure
you're not interested
in the ride of your life?
- To get the worst
motion sickness of my life?
No, thanks.
Besides, life is my ride,
Phil, and you're the loops.
- I'll take it.
Let the fun times roll!
- Just promise me
this thing is safe.
- I promise it's going
to be great fun.
- That's not what I said.
- Is this as fast
as it's gonna go?
- I run faster than this.
- I feel bad, and my dad
tried so hard to be fun.
Maybe we should all pretend
we're having a good time?
- I'll try,
but I might be sleeping
by the time
we get to the bottom.
- Yeah, this thing's so slow,
I'm enjoying it-- Ah!
- I've done it, Hope!
They're having fun,
which means I'm fun!
- And that makes
doing all this worth it?
- Completely!
- This is awesome!
- Wow, they're going
pretty fast, Phil.
- Not fast enough
because fast equals fun,
which means
more speed equals more fun.
It's science.
-I'm gonna be sick
in a good way!
- My insides
feel like my outsides!
- Maybe you should slow it down.
- What? Why? They're
having the time of their lives!
- That's fast enough, Phil! Phil?
- Fast is fun,
fast is fun, fast is fun!
Perhaps you're right.
Leave them wanting more,
and if they don't slow down,
it's possible they'll hurtle off
the tracks to
their certain demise.
- But is crashing fun? Let's see!
- No, crashing isn't fun!
- You know what?
You're right. It isn't.
Interesting.
-It seems to be stuck.
- Fix it, Phil!
- I said fix it, not break it!
- Technically, you didn't
say that last part.
- Phil!
- Yes, right! On it!
Um, uh, c-carry the one.
Uh I've got it!
- Phil!
-Are you okay?!
- That was awesome!
Awesome!
--Yeah!
- You did it, Phil.
You just did it.
- Seriously, that was the most
fun I've ever had, Phil!
- I had so much fun,
my brain shut down.
What happened? Where are we?
- Oh, man! I knew
you could do it, Phil.
Don't get me wrong,
I had my doubts.
Then, things turned around.
I guess you could say
it was a real,
whatever that thing is ride.
Fun Phil! Fun Phil! Fun Phil!
Fun Phil! Fun Phil! Fun Phil!
- I promise I won't tell them
you almost killed them
if you promise
to stop trying to be fun.
- I promise to keep
the fun in Fun Phil.
- That's not even close
to what I said!
Thank you for
inviting me on your hike.
- Aw, hiking wouldn't be
any fun without you, Dad.
- Speaking of fun Grug-quake!
-Not bad, but not
as fun as a Phil-valanche!
- Long live Fun Phil!
Oh no
It's Phil's Fun Finale.