The L Word s03e05 Episode Script

Previously on The L Word Where the fuck were you? trying to figure out what I'am doing here in L.
A.
What are you doing here in L.
A? What's your screen play about? a girl who becomes a boy.
what he goes through so it's about your life? well May be it's about yours Max I think you should DJ Russel Simmons party It really doesn't matter to you at all rather or not I'm at your opening It's that big of a deal to me! I'm almost old enough to be your mother.
My grand mother but I don't care Why are you telling me this right now? Because Tina we have an agreement with one another.
I'm really in all of you're trying to do here, and I'm lucky enough to be in the position to Help you.
Game, set, and match, Miss Farebanks.
There you are Ladies and Gentlemen, Dana Farebanks is the Mercedes-Benz I'm going for a little biopsy on Tuesday we'll find out that if there's anything to worry about You're on DC***conference about helping people to overcome homosexuality who've faith in the lord Jesus Christ.
Our ministry the***minitstry is in Billings Montana, and we're to talk about freedom from homosexuality, to the increasal submission towardship the Christ and his church.
Can I help you? I I'm sorry I can we do this a little later I come into a flat tire.
What are you looking for a radial? some of pre-basic it's a Renault.
I'm just in town here for a few days.
now, these ones here are standard, on season performance.
non speed and T speed ratings high couple***level this one*** These ones here offer severally better response.
And a pretty good*** Full school for this? No it's just a summer job and I'm starting at as Fresher year on a couple weeks.
Looking very serious Doctor Shapiro! Well, I will try not to be too serious Dana.
The result of your biospy indicate what we call infiltrating ductal carcinoma Ductal carcinoma From the texture of the lump I can tell you that we should be planning either a lumpectomy and a xylerhino dissection or a mastectomy.
Are you are you sure? You know, Dana this is not a death end! A cancer! We are gonna take very good care of you.
Is there someone you'd like to call Dana? Would you like to do this another time? No I just I just need to tell me what I need to do.
Well, we need to schedule you for surgery assuming you wanna reconstruct the breast we reconstruct.
assuming you want to reconstruct.
We can that at the same time as the mastectomy.
It'll get a little longer to schedule because we have to get you inforce to see the plastic surgeon.
No I don't wanna wait I wanna it off I wanna it off now! Somebody in this family's gotta make a living.
I have made a living for the last 15 years, I don't think my ability to make a living is really in question.
I'm not questionning your ability, I'm questionning your desire.
I I know it's a thriller but I still think we have character work to do.
What don't you take a look a some Paddy Chayefsky's Films? Oh my god Network is my favourite movie.
I was actually thinking of the hospital.
Yeah and the way he uses the institution.
Yeah, Yeah um The whole day job is at the hospital and the murder mystery is is like a sub-plot Exactly! What? Nothing! It's just um Do you how incredible it is to work with an executive who actually thinks about what's going on in the real world.
No how incredible is it? This is my cell Call me anytime! Bette on 2! Tell her, I'll call her back Rosy.
This is your daughter? Oh She's so cute! Thanks.
Did you adopt her? No, I gave birth to her.
so um What's your husband do? He's a power foward for the L.
A Clippers.
I'm sorry I'm just kidding.
I don't have a husband.
Meinen Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs, Ladies and Gentlemen Welcome to bisexual speed-dating nightyeeaaahh now now as our lovely friend Tom Cruise once said The bar is open! So get all over that bar get yourself lubricate and who knows.
may be you need to get lubricated later on you know what I'm saying? Each date is 8 minutes long, and when you hear the Buzzer or the bell bless you for that you get up take your lovely little clip board think and you move one place to the right.
OK? Alice honestly I don't know what I'm doing here Oh my g Helena I just need a friend here in case it'll make the single match.
A word of warning if you do not move within 30 secondes A burly oiled man will come and eject you from the premisses! I'm not even bisexual! Yeah but you have the choice of choosing the only girls that's the beauty of bisexual speed-dating! The odds are twice is good ok? - Ok! - The world is your bisexual oyster shut up OK? Let's speed date Team 1 take your positions.
Ok bisexuals back to it! So what are you you know what are looking for? creating integraty courage you know someone who's willing to take a risk.
My girlfriend and I are Your girlfriend? Ok! Ok Tammy! Someone who's original who has a vision you know a clear point of view.
Oh we're trying to start a family we're here looking for a sperm doner.
Ok.
I'm a little low on the sperm tonight.
little low on the sperm.
Move to the next table to your right.
Move to your right please for the next round of bisexual speed dating.
I am not bisexual speed-dating! Come on sit down sit down, be a big girl and just sit down! And you young fellow-me-lad 5 minutes come on.
I wanna to say that this thing you're going through - This thing? - It's uh change of life, it's really it's beautiful, and it's sexy and Fu.
.
Fuck it that's why I brought the guitare.
Didn't know what I was waiting for, but my time was running wild million dead-end streets Every time I thought I'd got it made it seemed the taste was not so sweet So I turned my eyes to face me but I've never caught a glimpse of how the others must see the faker I'm much too fast to take that test Chchchchchanges - Turn and face the strain - Chchchchchanges Don't have to be a different man - Chchchchchanges - Turn and face the strain Chchchchchanges, just have to be an older man.
Time may change me I can't trace time Clock is ticking Strange fascination, fascinated me.
Oh changes are taking the pace I'm going through, Chchchchchanges - Turn and face the strain - Chchchchchanges look at you Rock 'n rollers - And move again please Ladies and Gentlemen.
- Chchchchchanges, Turn and face the strain, Chchchchchanges don't get a llittle bit louder Time may change me but I can't trace time I said that the time may change me but I can't trace.
time! Ok bisexual it's time for hiatus Hey Alice, Can you pass me the grand menu? Thanks.
Oh ha ha ha Alice is speed dating sure you and Dana will get really good about this one.
Actually I think Dana has a lot others thinghs on her mind right now.
Ok bisexual go back to your seats for the next round.
Please take your place as we must start speed dating Come on everybody, get to it! Ready? No I'm not come I'm actually going.
Going where? to um Good luck and see you later.
Well, Helena what the fuck? Great Thanks! I can feel the love in the area you know, it's a beautiful, beautiful thing! Ok are you ready? - Woware you ok? Honey it's just the door - Ok allright I don't believe this! Look at this HELLOOOO!!! - Is anybody here? - Fuck Carmen, quiet Can you guys come clean up your fucking mess? HI! What is this? This looks like a fucking pigsty! Sorry, we were just No, you know what I'm sorry I am really really sorry because I apparently don't know how to live in a frathouse! - Ok ok Carmen, Carmen - This is disgusting Moira.
Carmen Carmen come on Where's Jenny? - She went to the store to get a 6 pack.
- Ok She went to the store, she'll be back for cleaning up.
Great good! Y eah*** We we're gonna clean it up, we were just watching a movie.
What's the big deal anyway? I just realized who you are.
Do you think that's a problem? Well, I don't see how it could be a problem that you've great tast in radio.
You know the show you did in wich you referenced to Jean Rollin 'Le Frisson des Vampires' You mentioned an essay that I wrote for a course I'm teaching at Loyola Marymount.
No kidding What's your name again? Uta Refson And what do you teach? I'm vampirologist.
I teach a course on the queer vampire***film.
In a seminar called "Demon desire".
About the vampire as a lesbian predator.
Ok I'm a tooootal vampire lesbian freeeaaak!!! What attracts you in the lesbian vampires? I don't know Uta.
um May be it's just I like the dark side.
What about tomorrow? What? Lunch? Prefer dinner.
Not much of a day, that I'm a person.
Right coz vampires don't go out on day, do they? No We lay in bed with the curtains drawn.
Ok, you know tomorrow night.
Hey! I'm gonna throw down the keys can you let yourself in? - Sure! - Ok.
Lindsey76 are you there? What? Daddyof2 was looking for you, he said he had a big hard on.
I know that freaks gross.
He probably got my name from some chats that I used when I was researching that staid home dad's project.
So you go on as Lindsey76? Just that one time.
Jesus! What? Why are you getting so upset? because you're acting like I have some big secret internet sex life! No Tina, I think you are the one who's acting like that.
I chatted with him for research***that's it I'm tired! I need to go to sleep.
Police came when they were beating her with a base ball bat.
It's part of an initiation ritual.
Is this to violent? No No I I'm allright.
Oh they dance in this night club.
I mean just going in there is like taking your life in your hands.
But this night, It sort of halfheartedly try to get me to leave because Aïcia knew Mister Q was coming with a gun.
How you were able to get close enough to film this? I've lived with same for 2 and half years.
you know I I ate with their families I slept on their floors I was with***to the night she died of a gunshot wound.
She was 8 and half months pregnant.
You're allright? No I'm sorry I'm sorry Please Don't be sorry.
Dyl are you home? Yeah I made it in.
I'm going to bed.
There's doggy-bag for Monkey, in the kitchen.
Ok um I'll be here, in a bit.
Goodnight! Goodnight! Baby listen to this not only have curate leapt but most women have a much greater choice of treatment now they even they even talk about these exercises as you can do to restore your arm strenght, so you can play tennis again sooner.
I'm not playing tennis again.
What are you talking about of course you are.
No I'm not My career is over Lara! Baby you don't know that I mean you can teach or I don't wanna teach! I don't wanna coach, I don't wanna do any of that! If they don't have to take away too much of the muscles I mean Dana it says right here they used to automatically removed the the pectorum Lara! Stop trying to make me feel good about my cancer.
We're perfect for each other***! What is she high? - Hey dudes! - Hello! - Thank you - You're welcome! Oh hey Jenny! Can you actually Can you seat for a minute? I just wanna talk to you guys for a second Sure, sure have a seat.
You want some? No thank you.
So what's up? You're guys getting married? Uh no I just uh Uh I'd I'm sorry that's Tina excuse me.
I have an anouncement What? Everyone that Alice is about to go out with a vampire.
No um.
A vampirologist.
Actually! She is kind of a doctor in the well known, doctor***teacher at Loyola Marymount.
- She's gorgous - and she's a first date.
First dates are the best by the way so - Good luck! - That's cool! Sorry about that! Sure that's ok.
What's up? I just want to tell you guys, I'm having a little operation tomorrow.
That's it! An operation? - Yeah - What kinda of operation? Is it outpatient, or is it on over night? - Is it something serious Dana? - Are you gonna be ok? - What? - Yeah I'm gonna be fine they um um I'm having I they they found a lump in my breast, and so I'm having it remote It's It's routine.
A lump? So did you have a biopsy? Yeah! What did they what did they find? Is it benine? It's just a little operation really it's Everything's ok! Everything's ok! You know Tina had a lumpectomy and you can't even see the scar.
No, no you can't.
I mean I didn't even know that she'd had one.
Oh fuck it what time? - Yeah, I think no we should all go and support you and - We should all be there! Lara's gonna be there it's fine, Lara's gonna be there it's ok really.
It's gonna be over night I'll be out the next day Ok? You're sure? - Yes - Is there anything we can do? No thank you! So Moira It's a girl's name isn't it? Yeah, I'm a girl! I wasn't saying I didn't know if you are a girl, I was just asking about the name.
Oh sorry! So tell me a little about your last job Moira at uh Sholding Software***Illinois Um, I was mostly involved in coding and testing we developed this system using TCP, IP socket HTTP, CORBA.
Very impressing um how are you uh programming skills? Um mostly I'm familiar with Windows platforms like Java and Visual Objects But I'm a very fast learner and I'm really good at trouble shooting and deboging.
Um it's a great letter of recommandation from Sholding.
How did you get on with the folks there? Really well! um so no problem with you being you know Hard to peg Hard to peg? You kind of neither Fish nor fowl if you know what I mean and i'm not saying that we will discriminate against you because that is one thing we don't do here at IntechMode but we looking for someone who is a team player.
We're team players here.
Yeah I'm a team player! What side***Moira? I'm kidding I'm sorry it was just it was just to good to resist! You know I think the script needs a little more rewriting.
Yeah we could do that! Then it should be fine.
I got something for you.
I bought this on eBay.
Oh my god that's my favourite movie of all time.
God! Just lucky guess It'll be inspiration for our projects together.
Well you set the bar high.
Yes I do.
Here we go.
Thanks! Wow! Cool! - See you soon.
- Ok.
Bye! Game, set, Match Miss Farebanks! And she won the game here we go Dana Farebanks has taking it today the Mercedes-Benz Challenge.
- And well deserved I think.
- Absolutly she's done a great job so far she's been amazing this year.
***Absolutly congratulations.
I agree with you You're ok? Yeah I'm great.
Baby, I think you should tell your friends what's really going on.
I don't know why you why you didn't They don't need to know every last detail.
It's just I don't think I should be the only one.
They've known you for a long time, Baby they love you they would want be there for you.
- If they that it was more serious - I told them what I wanted to tell them! Ok? Fuck! Hey, Chase have you heard from my 6 o'clock? Oh uh that's Cherie - Cherie Perony - yeah she's She's fuckin' late! Do you want set up that board? -Oh right now? - Yeah! - Oh she is in shop? yeah for sure I mean***a little bit Ok! - Ok Fucking***party! Sorry I missed it.
Cherie what the fu It's a nice way to***an old friend.
Yeah I'm sorry Cherie how are ya? Good! Why are you here? I've an apointment for my haircut! You don't just do mohawks do you? - coz I don't think I'd look to hot in a mohawks! - wait! So you're Cherie Peroni? I went back to my middle name.
I wasn't gonna keep that fucker's name! but I Certainly kept the shit love of his money.
So what you want me? Yeah! That's not being self-centered It's just that you can't do that to me at the last minute.
You know we had an agreement! I think work takes priority over meditation group.
It's not right Tina! When did you get that? It's very comfortable! You know*** can be so expensive.
It wasn't that expensive Tina! I didn't know that you needed special clothes to meditate! Fuck it! You know what If it makes you that incomfortable I'll change Hey I'll return it whatever! God Damn it! but you know what Tina? In a 7 half years, that I was the soul wage in this household I never lorded money over you the way you do me! And we didn't have a child then! But you didn't have a 300$ haircut! ***left me for his boatkeeper.
She's about your age.
Yeah.
Well, I'm really sorry to hear that! No don't be sorry You should have seen his face when the judge award me half his company.
***you're ok! Allright! You look beautiful by the way.
Hey Baby! The reservations came here for tonight, do you want me to wait for you by front or Um Carmen, this is Cherie.
Cherie, this is Carmen.
Carmen Fuck you! Let go with me Stop it! Come on - Hey calm down, calm down!Shut up! - Stop What's your problem? Cherie Jaffy! Come on I didn't know she was coming Bullshit! You don't believe me? Go to the book Go to my book if you don't believe me! Cherie fuckin' Peroni she book on her*** name, What do you want me to do? uh! Ok whatever, that's not the point! Tell her to go fuck herself! Act like you have a girlfriend.
Like you never said that she was your girlfriend Yeah! Congratulations Shane She is pretty! But not as hot as you are.
What don't you come at the beach this week-end? You can bring the girlfriend if you want! I'd rather see you by yourself.
We meditate to get to know ourselves to become intimate with who we really are.
each of us as a longing for what we sense is important.
It's a process of getting*** and*** and then simply thinking knowledge of ourselves of recognising on deeper and deeper levels the loving awarness the presence that is always there no matter what else is going on in your life.
Hey! What are you doing? some cleaning Stop that! You don't need to do that.
Yeah I do actually.
Why? Coz I'm not making any other contribution! Ok I am gonna help you.
Come here! How did your job interview go? I'm not fish a fowl.
OK Stop! Stop it! This is Bullshit! You're coming with me let's go! I don't think uh I'm not really in the mood right now.
No no no no I I don't want you to fuck me right now! I want you to get dressed.
Max! I want you to wear a tight trousers.
And if those don't fit you can wear a pair of mine.
Allright! That looks great.
Do you want some help? Allright! Can you just um Stick that on there? Can you just yeah.
.
Here! Waooo! You look really hot.
Hey Chase! Hey! Hey! Where have you been? Just driving around how this going? Yeah your girl blowing up in there, she's got some admirers! Oh the Def Jam*** - Yeah! - It's great that's what she wanted.
- I'll get a drink! - Allright! What do you guys doing? Alice! - Alice! - Hey Shane.
This is Uta Shane.
Nice to see you how are you doing? Waouou She's packing she's packing! I love she's gone for it! Come on.
I'm gonna I'm gonna be right back! gonna have some drink Be right back! Helena I think Uta might be a vampire.
What? Well, have you seen her teeth? They're What? They're sharp they're It's a*** I don't know.
I don't know! Well you wanna be certain about vampires no reflection.
Oh yeah Try! Ok! Heeeyyy! Ok! I just I think I got something in my teeth I'm just uh Holly fucking shit.
! What! Oh I just, I don't wear a ring.
Why don't we get outta here? Ok How was the medidation group? Did you have an epiphany or something? It was interesting.
Julie had told me about this special couple's retreat at this boudhist monestary in Vermount.
I love Vermount.
so may be we you should give it a try? May be I I don't know when I'd find the time.
She also told me that I'm on the shortlist to candidate***at the Withney.
The Withney? That's incredible! How that happened? Why do mean how that happened? Some people actually think that I'm qualified! I didn't mean***you're unqualified I just thought that you said that you didn't want to take another museum position.
It's the Withney, it's pretty hard to dismiss.
Waoouuu! Yeah I mean we'll have to move to New York! We? Well, if if I take the post if they offer it to me! I I have a job here.
A job I love.
It probably pays more that a museum position.
So um you're saying that if I was named the director of the Withney You wouldn't move to New-York? I have to think about it.
and I like my life here.
Wow! With little hot some honeys, you need to work to the big boys uh? Take that! Cheers! Oh! She is in credible! I mean I didn't think I was ever gonna sex like this again It's like She has unbelivable stamina I don't know if I can keep up with her! It's like I just fell like I don't know I mean She seems She seems*** I mean she's got like a teach***everything.
Yeah No it's real! I think she's the real thing.
But the place is creepy, what what did you find out? Ok uh The vampires are imune to desease the never get sick.
Am I suppose to like like expose her to a deadly desease coz I could be one of the undead by then.
Ok suppositly they never snore.
Great I need that! uh ok then and they like to go at night dadada Possible match They have cold hands and feet.
ok They don't like to debate about religion.
Really.
They're stronger that their bodies might suggest.
I gotta go I gotta go Hey Sorry to keep you waiting and I ***for the Hope you don't getting tired.
Waou you uh you a lot stronger than you look uh Uta! Can I ask you a question? Do you believe in god? It was just It was just a question just a question that's ok! Nosferatu! Fuck! What the Fuck! Please! I have something I have to tell you.
What? I fucked DaddyOf2 on the internet.
I fucked him and we did it once.
then why are you telling me? Because I just have had all these feelings that I don't know what to do with.
and I just so fucked up! I don't I don't know what I'm doing Feelings about what? Feelings about men.