The Last Kids on Earth (2019) s03e05 Episode Script

1
[static]
-[rock music playing]
-I'm Crazy Quint, the Couch King,
and my couches stand up to anything!
Spilled soda? No problem!
Monster guts?
Don't worry! Just watch!
My couches stand up to anything!
-[static]
-[clicks]
[screaming]
-[slow ballad music playing]
-[screaming]
[screaming continues]
[screaming]
[screams]
[screams]
-Ah!
-Ugh!
-[gasps]
-Did we? Are we?
I think this is the afterlife.
Uck, if this is the afterlife,
the afterlife smells like wet hamsters.
Ugh, get me out of this snuggly cocoon!
[all straining]
Too snuggly! Too snuggly!
[all straining]
[strains] Ah!
[gasping]
[sniffs]
Ew, it really does
smell like wet hamsters.
[roars]
Whoa!
[screaming]
It's It's
[emotionally]
It's even more beautiful than I imagined!
It's trash.
June! It's our trash.
[giggles]
Knock yourself out, buddy.
Now, Quint,
we're here to find a
what is it again?
A long-range signal-boosting antenna.
Apologies for the rough sketch,
but it should help.
This is it, gang. Probably
the most important thing we've ever done.
More important than defeating Rezzoch,
building a treehouse,
bringing us together as a family,
making friends with monsters,
beating the highest level
of Space Marauders.
But, oh, sure, dumpster diving
for an electric stick
is absolutely the most important thing
we've ever done.
Did you say something?
Um, no! Must have been
the, uh, trash settling. [chuckles]
Uh, anything else?
Keep your eyes peeled
for that Goo-Ga-Zoo.
I gotta get a picture
of the little bug thingy
for my second monster task.
Enough lolly-gagging!
[muttering] I'm not
lolly-gagging, you're lolly-gagging.
Break!
[all panting]
[clattering and crashing]
Uh Ah!
Whoo! Yeah!
Huh?
Mm.
Ooh!
Keep your head in the game, Sullivan.
No can do.
'Cause right now,
my head is in a space helmet.
[in silly voice]
Take me to your leader!
Ha! Nice! Like our movie,
Martian From Planet Mars.
-[static]
-You sure this is gonna work?
If the girls see this,
-they're gonna think we're cool?
-Ptew!
-And like us?
-Ptew! Ptew!
Oh, totally!
Who doesn't love
handmade cardboard special effects?
-[crashes]
-Ugh!
-[static]
-Aww, good luck with that one, guys.
-[grunts]
-[clinks]
[clangs]
[laughs]
[clunks]
Bet you can't hit it that far, again.
[grunts]
[clangs]
-Farther!
-Aces!
Not bad, not bad.
Guys!
You're stinking up the place
and the place is a junkyard.
Let an expert school ya!
Huh! Ha! Ugh! Ugh! Ah!
[clanging]
Whoa!
No one said we can't have fun
while looking for the antenna.
[squeaking]
Oh!
Uh!
-[claps]
-Ugh!
-Huh! Ugh!
-Yah!
-Whoo! Ah!
-Ugh!
Grab anything awesome,
that's ten points.
Grab anything wet,
that's twenty points.
And the antenna, well,
that's all the points.
Ready, set
Surf!
Whoo-hoo!
-[laughs]
-Huh! Uh!
Yeah!
Yeah! Whoo!
Yeah-heh-heh!
-Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!
-[video game noise]
-Aah! Uh! Yeah!
-[video game noise]
-Yah! Ew, wet points!
-[video game noise]
It's so not worth it!
-Yah! Whoo!
-[video game noise]
[clattering]
[shutter focuses, clicks]
[shutter clicks]
[shutter clicks]
[shutter clicks]
[shutter clicks]
[all laughing]
[Dirk and Quint laughing]
Ooh, this is a good one!
What is your boy band persona?
Heartthrob? Emo? Bad boy?
Or goofball?
Hmm, goofball, bad boy, crooner.
Hey, you, girl, I can be your boy ♪
'Cause I'm the key to your everything ♪
[squawks]
I'm the ham
To your peanut butter sandwich ♪
Yeah, boy, I'm your girl! ♪
[laughs]
Oh, you're totally ready to go solo!
[laughs] Girl!
[laughs, sighs]
[sighs] This is great!
Hmm?
I don't want to miss out
on stuff like this.
Miss out? Dude, this is kinda, like,
all we do.
Well, you know, a lot's happened, lately.
The radio, and that
monster King Wretch is still out there
being all [screeches],
you know.
-What's that got to do with us?
-Ugh.
Jack, did something happen?
No! No but
But with all that's changing
and maybe, you know,
about to change
there's one thing that
will never change for me.
I
-Found it! Antenna!
-[gasps]
-Are you serious!
-Ugh, are you serious?
You better be serious! If you're anything
less than 100% serious
-[Quint laughs]
-[June] Whoo! [laughs]
[sighs]
-[June] Huh.
-Whoa, sticky fingers!
Sorry. Is it okay if
I'm just gonna hold onto it, for now,
you know, for safekeeping, and all?
Uh, sure.
If she starts whispering to it
and gives it a name, let me know.
[sighs]
Find antenna, check.
Next up, affix antenna to radio.
-Let's get this home.
-[Dirk] Not yet.
Still gotta get a photo
with the Goo-Ga-Zoo.
Uh, right.
Dirk and his Goop-a-loop thing.
We-we can't just radio and run.
-Luckily, boing! Idea!
-[bulb shatters]
We stay!
Light bulbs don't go boing, Jack.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm!
Oh. Oh, oh! Oh!
Sleeping bags. Sleeping over.
Junkyard sleepover!
And I'll do you one better
Junkyard sleepover with s'mores!
-[giggles] Rad.
-Yes!
Hurley is pumped!
[grunting] Ohh
I miss my couch.
[creaks]
[chomps] Mmm!
[chomps] Mmm!
Mm. Mmm!
[chomps] Mmm, mmm.
[fire crackles]
Truth or dare?
Hmm. [blows] Okay truth.
What's your biggest secret?
Uh, okay.
You know how teachers
have their own bathroom?
[Jack]
Oh-ho-ho-ho, no!
That's not your biggest secret.
[gasps] Jack! We vowed
never to speak of that again.
-Fire alarm
-No! No! No!
Ack! [laughs]
Quint triggered a fire alarm
with a remote control drone
to get out of class!
[laughs] Oh, wait, you did that?
We had to run the mile!
I told Mr. Hofstettler that
I would happily walk the mile,
but he said no,
walking is for walkers,
and anyone who ever got anywhere in life
ran the mile, and ran it happily.
Huh, that fire alarm stunt was amazing!
Oh. Oh, thanks!
Also, Mr. Hofstettler is a zombie now.
So, you kinda
got the last laugh on that one.
I guess. But it was a secret,
Jack Sullivan.
You have secrets, too, you know.
Uh, truth time is over!
Ooph! [mutters]
Marshmallow fight!
[laughing]
-[chomps]
-[June] Hey!
Time! Time out! Marshmallow in my eye.
Marshmallow in my eye!
I think a marshmallow
detached my retina!
-[all] Huh?
-[Quint] Oh! The pain! The pain!
The pain I'm going to inflict on you all.
[laughs]
[all laughing]
[snoring]
Goo-Ga-Zoo.
[Quint]
No, no, not another task.
My head will explode.
You'll have to add affix Quint's head
to my to do list.
Oh.
[June stirs in sleeping bag]
What the huh?
Hey, June, you still up?
Yep.
I liked today.
I like right now.
Mm-hmm.
Is it
Is it lame that this might have been
one of the best days of my life?
Not lame.
What was your favorite day?
You know, since everything.
Honestly,
it was when we heard
the voices on the radio,
when I realized there was still hope.
June?
Can I confess something?
[heavy sigh]
When you guys get the radio working,
you'll get in touch with other people,
maybe even your parents.
Then our team,
this weird family thing,
it'll never be the same again.
We'll get split up forever.
That scares me more, so much more,
than the giant flying monster.
Look, I know what it feels like
to be tossed aside.
I don't want to feel that again.
Can you do me a favor and lie to me?
Promise me things won't change.
You don't have to mean it.
It'd just be nice to feel like this isn't
the end of the end of the world for me.
I'm, uh, sorry, June,
I shouldn't have said all that.
June?
[snoring softly]
Probably for the best.
[monster roars]
[gasps]
Ah, man, pebbles in the ear.
Um, Quint?
This isn't the junkyard.
Ugh! Ugh!
Ugh, it smells like evil.
Oh, where is everybody?
[doors creak]
No! No-no-no-no! No!
Biggun! Bardle! Skaelka!
My friends!
[crying]
[gasps] Rover?
[crying]
[sobbing]
[panting]
It's the end of the end of the world!
[gasps] The treehouse!
[panting, gasping]
Dirk! Quint! Can you hear me? June!
Guys? Are you in there? Quint?!
[growls]
[panting]
-[wood cracks]
-Aah!
[monster roars]
-[monster screeches]
-Ah! Oh!
[snarls]
Ah! Please stop!
Stop! Why are you doing this?
[screeches]
[whimpers]
What did you do to me?!
Ugh!
[whimpering]
[Rezzoch]
Jack!
Gah! [panting]
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you!
I love you, real world! [kisses]
I love you, ground! Mwah!
I love you, caramel nut bar!
[kisses]
[gags] Ugh, gross.
[slurps] Uh, medium gross.
[groans]
No better feeling than waking up
and realizing it was all just a
-nightmare.
-[growling]
[growling]
What do you want with me?
Why do you keep
entering my brain uninvited?
A man's head is like his home, a castle!
I don't like evil in my castle!
-Ah!
-Ah!
[both] What? Who's attacking?
Jinx! No! Not doing that again. Jinx!
Uh, nobody's attacking.
There is no giant wretch, uhh,
or anything else attacking.
Quint just scared the bejeeze out of me.
You came out of nowhere.
Apologies for my puma-like reflexes.
Man, your screaming
interrupted a good dream!
I found the Goo-Ga-Zoo,
and also, TV was a thing again.
-[rumbling]
-[glass breaking]
[cracks]
-June did it.
-Ugh!
[all]
Whoa! Ah!
Guys, this isn't just a scrap heap.
It's something else.
Something we didn't invite
to the sleepover.
A ginormous monster!
[monster snarls]
-[all grunting, screaming]
-[crashing]
-[smashes]
-[all gasp]
[panting]
[roars]
Ah!
[snarling]
[smashes]
Wait. Goo-Ga-Zoo?
[snarling]
Ohh, Chef Monster is such a jerk!
That thing's like the Kraken!
But made of scrap!
Scrapken!
Yes! Superb naming!
Scrapken. Five eyes,
which is five too many.
Snappin', crackin' tentacles.
Uh, just woke up face.
-[snarling]
-[smashing]
Quint! How do we get outta here?
What? Why do I
have to think of everything?
Uh, I don't know, 'cause you're smartsy.
I have ten other things on my list
to think about!
[panting] Fine. We hide in the trailer.
[June, Dirk, Jack scream]
My overworked brain
nearly led to our demise!
-This is exactly why
-No more words!
Unless those words are
about how we get out of here!
-[snarls]
-[all] Ah!
-[Quint panting]
-Ah! Ugh!
Ugh!
[snarling]
-[shutter clicks]
-[dings]
Task two, complete.
We've got to get over that wall.
Or through the wall!
Right! If we can get the Scrapken
to hit the wall
Instant doorway!
[June]
Hey, monster breath!
Down here, Octo-goon!
You smell like Jack's old underwear!
Don't compliment the thing!
Scrapken! You are a formidable foe!
We eagerly await a whacking!
[zombies moaning]
Ah, man! The plan stinks!
[roars]
Yay! The plan's good again!
Move! Move!
Wait! No! No-no-no-no! The antenna!
When did you have it last?
[scoffs] Gee, Mom,
I don't know, on the scrap mountain!
[gasps] On the scrap mountain!
-There!
-June!
-[panting]
-[snarls]
Ugh! Ah!
-[panting]
-Jack! No!
Get to Big Mama! I'll be okay!
Ah! Ugh!
See? Look how okay I am!
[moaning]
We gotta move! Ugh!
Aah!
[panting] Ugh!
[gasps]
Ha! Yah!
Huh! Gotcha!
Yeah-ha-ha! Ah!
Whoa!
[grunting]
I hate you, antenna!
Oh, no! [panting]
Ugh! Yes!
-[clicks]
-Ah, no! Ah!
Beat it, you brainless bozos!
[snarling]
[whimpers]
No touching. No touching!
[horn blares]
[whimpers]
Ah!
Don't worry, hula girl.
We'll get through this together!
[clacking]
Uhh!
Two seconds, Scrap-Dude.
Just give me two seconds!
-[clicks]
-Yes!
Hold on, hula girl!
-Huh?
-Huh?
[screaming] I don't think
I'm tall enough for this ride!
[Hawaiian music plays]
[Jack screams] Ugh!
Phew!
Ah! Ugh! Ugh!
Phew!
Hula girl! We made it
Ha! Will you stop already!
-Ha ha!
-[roller skates squeaking]
[zombie moaning]
[thud]
Okay then.
[sighs]
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ugh.
[monster screeches]
[Jack whimpers]
Oh, not again!
You think you got dibs on me
and my friends' future, King Wretch?
[screeches]
You don't!
I'm gonna figure out
what you want with me,
and I'm gonna stop you!
[tires screech]
You're okay!
Yes, I will be.
[metal creaks]
Huh! Whoa!
[sighs] That was too close.
Let's trot.
The zombie squad isn't far behind.
Gotcha!
[starts engine]
[engine revs]
[tires squeal]
[Hawaiian music plays]
[tires squeal]
Everyone together now! Best
[all]
Sleepover ever!
[laughs] I'll say!
Let's get crackin' on this bad boy.
[to self]
And I'll get crackin'
on the King Wretch's skull.
What?
I didn't say anything.
I was just thinking.
[to self]
Thinking that it's time
to face this problem once and for all.
Okay, that time,
you absolutely said something.
Nope, that was the wind.
Uhh
Who are you gonna believe,
me or the non-existent wind?
[cracks, growls]
[to self]
Me or the non-existent wind?
Hmm.
[thunder rumbles]