The Royals (2015) s03e05 Episode Script

1 Previously on The Royals Simon is your biological father.
- I need you to believe in me now.
- I do.
You're ready to be King.
Robby? That man wouldn't let doctors' results, or Helena or cancer get in the way of what he wanted! Where the bloody hell is that man? Right here! Have we ever met? I'm Beck.
(ELEANOR) Beck was Robert's best friend.
I may have lost my virginity to him.
When I think of a princess I always think of Eleanor.
That's what Eleanor is.
She's a real princess.
So I guess you're not mad at me anymore? I do what I want and right now, I want to do this.
I spent a lot of time in my brother's shadow but it wasn't okay the day I met you.
My heart is a disaster.
My head's even worse, but I want you.
- K.
- Jesus! Jesus! (MAN) Welcome to our special coverage of this historic moment.
I know we are speaking for the entire country, perhaps even the whole world when we say welcome home, Prince Robert.
(MAN AND WOMAN) Welcome home, Prince Robert! (WOMAN) Excitement is in the air.
(MAN) They're calling him Prince Lazarus, saying his return is a Sword in the Stone moment.
(WOMAN) Street parties, parades! What a week! And today it's The Royal Balcony! That's right, history happening before our eyes as Prince Robert is publicly reunited with his family for the first time since his return.
(Gasps) (WOMAN) What does it all mean for King Cyrus? (MAN) Two kings? Unprecedented! How and when will a transition of power take place? But there's a more important question to be answered.
That's right! What will the Queen be wearing today? So many jewels, so little time.
I cannot wait to see how fabulous she looks on that balcony.
Well, how the Royals must be feeling since Prince Robert came back, I can't imagine.
(MAN) Your first-born son.
It's a momentous occasion.
You can be sure that no one in the palace is resting as preparations for this wonderful day ( ZAYDE WOLF: King ) The crown is gettin' heavy But they've written my name in the stars Ahem.
Ooh! For diamonds and castles I've dealt blood and greed and scars Ooh, yeah I've been climbin' up all these mountains For so long (MAN) We all know a bachelor king will not do.
(WOMAN) But who will he choose? Who could possibly be good enough? A European princess? A supermodel aristocrat? Emma Watson? There's one lucky lady out there who's going to be (Sound muted) Move your arse, love.
We got a full house coming.
It's like a fairy tale dream come true.
You were devastated when Prince Robert died.
You didn't leave your room for a week.
Now he's back you're still not happy.
What's up? You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
(Message alert) (Grunting) (Exhales) (Beep) It's good to be king (Message alert) It's good to be king It's so good, so good, so good It's good to be king - It's good to be, it's good to be - It's good to be king It's good It's good to be king Every choice we make today has consequences.
The balcony will be scrutinized by the press, the people, the powers that be.
Even a sideways glance may be misconstrued.
- Or construed.
- Precisely.
So, let's make certain Cyrus is relegated, and you, my darling, are front and center up there.
Though you haven't been officially crowned, it will signal that you are clearly king.
And what will Uncle Cyrus have to say about that? I'd throw him off the balcony if I could.
But in lieu of that, perhaps he would be gracious enough to be ill and stay in bed.
Look, I know how much today means to you, but Cyrus will insist on being there and like you said we can't be seen jostling for position in public.
England needs stability, Mum.
Then he must clearly bow to you on the balcony to signal order of precedence.
Fat chance! The best case scenario is that we pre-negotiate good placement with him.
And try being nice.
He's family, Mum.
Dad's only brother, no less.
Not to mention, his ego is black and blue.
Best handled with delicacy.
- Your favorite.
- Ahh! Hey.
What what are you doing here? Officially, I'm here to be your brother's Equerry for the day.
But really? I've just come to see you.
OK, hang on.
Your best friend miraculously rises from the dead but the only reason you're here is to see me.
A girl's supposed to believe that? - A girl is.
- Okay! Mm.
(Sighs) Darling, Beckwith the Second, my first love.
I don't think that you should sort of just waltz into my bedroom just 'cause you're in town.
I don't think that can happen anymore.
How come? It's not like you've got a boyfriend.
You've got a boyfriend? Who is he? None of your business, Nosey Parker.
- Are you pushing me off? - Yes! - But the bacon can stay.
- Uh-uh! No, no, no.
It's a package deal.
(Scoffs) Package deal! (Buzzes) Bacon, extra crispy, with no presumptuous flirting on the side, please.
(CHEF) Right away, Your Highness.
Okay.
- Hey.
- Hey.
It's good to see you.
It's how Robert used to signal that he wants to meet.
A steak? Meat.
Like, "meet"? Have you responded to his text yet? No.
We didn't do anything wrong.
Then why do I feel so nervous? I'm worried I'm gonna say the wrong thing and mess things up between you two.
I don't want to get between brothers.
I know what we agreed but I keep asking myself, is it better to lie, or tell a truth that could be so destructive? That's the question.
- (Message alert) - He's here.
He's outside.
- Is he coming up right now? - No.
He's on his motorbike.
That means he wants to go out.
Well, you should go.
I'm sorry.
I know.
You're the fairest of them all.
Hm All those little pricks must be doing you good.
I hope you're feeling as well as you look.
Those people might actually be on to something.
Now, to what do I owe the honor of all these false compliments? The balcony perchance? Have you given thought to who will stand where? Location.
Location.
Location.
(Laughs) Come, we both know it's merely theater.
But the people do enjoy it, and the economy needs a bit of a prop up.
Indeed.
- Two kings is volatile.
- Exactly.
And given what the day is for and who people want to see You want it to be all about Prince Lazarus.
You have the chance to make the balcony your golden opportunity.
Take this moment and secure your legacy as the wise steward who held the Royal family together in the terrible months after Simon's death and the return of the rightful heir.
The only alternative is for you to be the guy who tried, and most definitely failed, to tear this family apart.
Robert should stand front and center.
I appreciate the Queen's munificent consultation, and I thank her for giving the King a choice.
Cyrus (Sighs) No, really.
I see your point.
Robby's great.
And it's the right thing to do.
Hey, bodyguard.
Where's your reply to my latest amazing letter? - I've been working on one.
- Yeah? Yeah, how about: "Dearest Eleanor, why the hell was Beck coming out of your bedroom?" Ha! You mean, what was he doing getting kicked out of my bedroom? Either way, I'm not feeling too inspired.
He's only here for Robert.
Hey, we are Jaspenor.
And uh Are we good? I don't know.
You tell me.
Well, I told him that I have a boyfriend.
But if you like, I could put a lock on my door, or, uh, I perhaps wear a chastity belt? Try explaining that one to Sara Alice.
Hey.
It's me.
Good.
I'm glad that's sorted.
Although I am still a little light on reading material.
How about, "Dearest Eleanor, I'm sorry for misinterpreting things.
I can't wait to make it up to you, over and over again.
How about tonight?" I'm feeling a little bit more inspired now.
Good.
(Sighs) Oh, darling, good.
You can help me decide.
Now, magenta says, "A queen must be seen to be believed.
" But, the white says, "new beginnings.
" Yeah, but it also says "virgin".
Fine.
The magenta.
Now, this is for you to wear on the balcony today.
You gotta stop dropping acid, it's becoming a problem.
Years ago, I wore it on the balcony.
Then it went out of fashion and that's where it stayed.
It was the day your father and I presented you to the world for the first time.
And a star was born.
No.
The press will recognize it and it will symbolize our mother-daughter unity.
They'll write about it for weeks.
Mum, today is about Robby.
It's not about me or what I'm wearing.
Or you, for that matter.
What's best for Robby is peace between you and me, privately and publicly, which hasn't always been the case.
I'll try it for size.
(Birds twittering) So, how have you been, K? Prince's Arms treating you well? Yeah.
Fine.
Keeping me busy.
And are the family well? Dad's great, thanks.
Angie is Well, she's never not Angie.
(Chuckles) She's been glued to the TV 24/7 all week.
Must be a whirlwind, Robby.
Everyone in the nation is thrilled to have you home.
- I hope everyone? - Don't fish for compliments.
You never did put me on a pedestal.
Well, the rest of the world did that just fine.
I've missed that smile.
It'd be great if the Prince could tell his bodyguard before he's nipping off to see a girl.
Her ex-boyfriend is back in town.
I'm sure he's her ex for a reason.
No? Okay.
I gave it a shot, just like Beck did with Len.
I saw him leaving her bedroom.
He was in her bedroom? (Scoffs) You don't have to worry about him.
Oh, but you have to worry about Kathryn's ex? What, do you want me to rough him up a bit? - He's untouchable.
- Try me.
He was her ex, but they didn't break up.
He died, and then he undied.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Robert, an outstanding young man.
He's my favorite nephew and it's wonderful to have him home.
And yet, if you continue to straddle the throne it's not clear who is head of state, church, or the armed forces.
Let me set your minds at ease.
Robert will be a great king.
Someday.
But that day is not today.
For starters, the kid is legally dead.
And we're a nation of laws.
Speaking of, there's this small matter of a legally-sitting king, i.
e.
me.
Never in the history of this country has a sitting king been dethroned, unless it was on the battlefield.
Well, then, the battlefield it is.
Would you care to comment, Your Majesty? We had an agreement! You mean earlier, when you came into my room barking orders while I pretended to listen? Well, woof, woof.
Nobody puts Baby in the corner.
It's just a matter of time.
You haven't got a chance of stopping Robert.
Oh, but I do.
Poor lad suffered a nasty bump when he fell out of the sky, then suffered solitary confinement and near starvation.
He might be one sandwich short of a picnic.
Cyrus, this isn't what the people want! They want Robert! Opinion polls have gone up loads since I announced my cancer.
Turns out people do have sympathy for the devil, and if these Chinese witch doctors I have on call can keep me alive long enough, I'll tie you up in red tape for years.
Robert may never be king.
You remember that paparazzo who hid in that thorn bush? "Pricks for the prick" you said.
Poetic justice.
( HAUX: Sister ) I know it wasn't a happy thing, being my secret.
You didn't make the rules, and I didn't have any expectations.
Remember the bodies Remember the war Do you remember this spot? It's where we first kissed.
My family couldn't understand why I was so upset when you were lost.
Dad said he never knew I was such a patriot.
I had a lot of time to think when I was away.
Time to really understand what matters.
Imagining days like this really helped me to get through it all.
Look, I don't know if you're seeing anyone and I don't have any right to ask you but I bloody well missed you, K.
We'll run with the shadows Till we disappear The once and future King.
Right Honorable Lord Twysden Beckwith the Second, no less.
You will have a place at my Round Table.
Never thought I'd see your ugly mug again, you jammy git.
You should have stayed on the island then, brother.
So, your sister, gotta ask She claims to have a new boyfriend.
Who is he? Protection Officer Jasper Frost.
The bodyguard? That will never last.
What is it with this family and the help? Normal people can be quite relaxing.
I'll take your word for it.
Forgive the interruption, Your Highness.
Her Majesty requests your presence.
Cyrus has no intention of stepping down.
He'll contest your "claim".
Says it's all a matter of law.
He's even ready to launch a smear campaign questioning your mental health! After all you've been through! I'll release every bit of blackmail I've collected on him.
We are trying to create a better image, look unified.
Drastic times, son.
Drastic enough to let the public know Cyrus caused that outbreak of syphilis in the Cotswolds! Look, calm down.
Otherwise there won't be a throne for me to sit on.
I'll pay him my respects, have a chat.
I'll find a way through this.
All will be well.
Fetch me a Perrier.
I'm thirsty.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you not a footman? (Scoffs) Oh, that's right.
You have a gun.
Glock 17, 9mm? I'm not gonna play this game with you.
"I'm not gonna play this game with you, Sir.
" You're not keen on appropriate, eh? If it makes you feel small, you don't have to call me a "Sir".
But, a "Sir" is what I am.
My birth right.
You on the other hand, what do you have a right to? Nice tassels.
Ha! Used by the Lords Beckwith to cut invaders down to size for 300 years.
So you can stroke your standard-issue 9mm all you like.
Caliber has a very different meaning here in the palace.
You're not good enough for her.
Don't get above your station.
HRH! - Big day, huh? - Yeah.
Sorry, got to dash.
Gotta grab the Order of the Royal Garter from the Beefeaters.
May I have permission to throw him off the goddamn roof? What shit did he say to you? Exactly the kind of thing you'd expect from someone of his "caliber".
Tell me.
Technically speaking I'm your boss and I insist you tell me.
That sounds exactly like him.
Okay, technically speaking, I'm your friend.
And as your friend, I'd like you tell me, please.
Where I come from, the rules are, may the best man win.
Your system, it's a load of "bollocks how everyone's forgotten about #KINGLIAM.
" Ah, ah, yes, and another viewer texted a Phoenix should be added to the Royal Crest.
Thoughts on that, John? You know, I was a fan of #KINGLIAM as well.
Maybe we should have an election.
Let us choose between two good candidates, Robert and Liam.
That could be sedition but I won't tell anyone you said it.
Just hearing that the public has been allowed onto the palace grounds.
- What is your problem? - I need to talk to someone.
Unless it's about the two hottest princes in the world I don't wanna hear it.
Then you're gonna wanna hear it.
Are you seriously dating both princes? Angie, help me out.
They're both in my life, they're both wonderful.
My head is spinning.
I'm confused, freaking out.
Please tell me you did it in the palace! - Angie! - Well, did you? Robert wanted to keep it a secret, so, no.
And with Liam, the relationship was over before it began.
That's the thing, even though it was so brief, the connection I had with Liam felt so real.
It felt like things were serious.
I still can't believe this is happening.
I always said the Davis girls would go far! Robert never intended it to go anywhere but then today Okay, under normal circumstances, I'd say dump him.
He kept you a secret because you're common, the prick.
But, he's going to be King, so maybe don't throw the prick out with the bathwater.
Let's just make this about two boys, okay? Boy A and Boy B.
Help me think how to handle it, please! Okay, okay, okay, forgive me if I keep hearing "Prince".
I say go for both.
That is one very wobbly H.
Alright, I'm only telling the truth, which is something you should not do.
(KATHRYN) We gotta tell Robert the truth.
You're right, of course.
It's the honorable thing to do, no matter the fallout.
It should be me that tells him.
- Brother to brother.
- You'll tell him today? The sooner the better, eh? What? Jasper.
Bodyguard's a tattle-tale, huh.
No.
Liam told me.
I was only having a laugh.
What do you see in him anyway? Is it the "stable boy" thing? Class isn't about who you are, Beck! It's about how you act.
All of this means nothing without the behavior to back it up.
Have some grace, arsehole.
Ah, the conquering hero returns.
I haven't conquered anything, Uncle.
Uncles and nephews have a pretty tricky history in this country.
Dear old Richard III, yeah.
But you wouldn't put Liam and I under the stairs in the Tower.
Don't be so sure.
Come on, Scar.
Don't be grumpy.
It's me.
Where's the chap I used to go to when Dad was too hard on me? Where's the chap who gave me my first sip of liquor? And my second.
(Chuckle) Took you to Madame Gigi, too.
(Chuckles) You have led me down a number of meaningful and memorable paths, Uncle.
And I'll be eternally grateful.
(Glasses clink) You're fighting like a champ.
The cancer.
I hate to see you ill.
And now you're fighting with your former ally, Queen Helena.
You must be exhausted.
Your mother is a complete cauchemar.
She's wrong about the balcony.
It should be yours, crown and all.
I won't fight you on it.
Technically, you are King.
And after the balcony? Your blood claim to the throne.
How do you propose we deal with that little footnote? Honestly? I don't know.
With Father gone and Lucius, too, I was hoping for some guidance from you.
This is a highly unusual situation, and I don't have experience in such matters.
I genuinely value your opinion.
Perhaps, the courts should decide.
Could we keep it behind closed doors? Mum will fawn to the press, they'll treat it like chum.
If we could keep it private.
Let the upper echelons of the nation decide, behind closed doors.
A Privy Council.
That is a great idea, a Privy Council.
Do you think Mum will go for it? She will if you convince her.
Darling.
Cyrus is being a dick, so the exact choreography of the balcony is in flux, but whatever happens you must stand by your brother.
Make sure you're on his right-hand side, but one step behind.
I know.
Protocol, protocol.
- But we're clear? - Yeah.
I know my place.
You're feeling jilted.
Only a week ago, the public wanted you to be King.
It's not about that.
And now you must literally stand aside.
And yes, you must stand behind your brother.
People need tribes and chieftains.
Who stands where, who has the tallest feathers on their head.
People crave hierarchy.
They look to bloodlines for it because family matters.
To everyone.
So, we will stand today on that balcony as the personification of the idealized family and people in our nation, dare I say across the world, will feel more settled and secure because of it.
I don't blame them for needing that.
We all need some stability after what we've gone through this year.
- Don't you think? - Yeah.
You are the right hand of the future King of England.
You stand, literally, to symbolize that.
So, yes, you do have a place.
And it means so much.
Mum I understand.
I always have.
I'll do my best.
I owe you an apology.
We haven't spent enough time together since I've been back and that's on me.
You've been busy.
To be honest, things have changed so much.
It's harder than I imagined settling back in.
I miss Dad.
Me too.
I wish he was here now, to help guide us through.
At least I've still got you.
Mum's been filling me in on everything you've been doing, all your charity work.
I'm proud of you.
She thought maybe I should take it over considering my military service.
Sure.
Take it.
Makes sense.
I saw Kathryn today.
It was nice.
(Chuckles) I thought you said you'd been practicing? Game.
At least some things never change.
Hey.
I owe you an apology.
I forgot what it means to be a gentleman today.
Yes, you did.
Thanks for reminding me.
I am sorry.
Sometimes I wish things between us had been able to remain innocent like it was when we were kids.
And in light of how long we've known each other, all we've shared and how much we've cared for each other over the years, will you accept my apology? Peace pipe? Yeah.
( CHARLOTTE OC: In Paris ) We've been running around, dripping in gold Telling me it's fine, taking me home There's a fire (Coughs) I accept your apology.
That's very gracious.
Classy.
You don't even care for me You don't even care for me I don't want to be your enemy Your enemy Oh, you don't even care for me You don't even care for me I don't want to be your enemy - - Your enemy Oh, why don't you care for me? Why don't you care for me? I don't want to be your enemy I'm not going anywhere, you know.
Maybe it won't be me, but it'll be someone just like me.
You know you're not good enough for her.
You never will be.
I only tell you what you want to hear.
To get what I want.
You're Vegas scum with fuzzy eyebrows.
Definitely not a prince.
You dumb son of a bitch.
Relationships worked out so well for you in the past.
Jasper.
Trust me.
Yeah, that's what you wanna do.
(Voices overlapping) Not anymore Anymore Not anymore (Crowd cheering) (ROBERT) No smear campaign.
No legal wrangling.
And Cyrus has agreed to a Privy Council.
How on earth did you get him to agree to that? I made him think it was his idea.
All hail the Cyrus whisperer! Of course, he'll pull in every favor, try to stall or swing a vote.
Of course he will, but I have faith in England.
More importantly, I have faith in you, Mother.
- I gave him the balcony.
- What?! You said you'd take care of it.
That's what the day's about! Would you rather have the balcony or the throne? Well, fine, damn it.
But can he at least give you the first official wave? I'll just take it.
(ELEANOR) Hey.
How's your head? Not great right now.
Get Beck out of it.
- Liam told you.
- Yes, and I'm glad he did.
We've had enough secrets and lies messing us up.
I thought we were good, but if we're not, let's get real.
You know what's real? You're too good for me.
When I think it and everyone around me thinks it, I can't help but wonder if that's because it's true.
I'm not too good for you.
I'm perfect for you and you are, for me.
So get those other voices out of your head and listen to me, not anyone else, least of all the Right Honorable Lord Twatsden.
He's not right, and he's not that honorable.
( MAX JURY: Princess ) I trust you.
After everything, all the secrets and lies I trust you.
Now please trust me.
Okay? How about a little inspiration for that letter you're gonna write me? Oh, oh, my Cinderella You're gonna get away from here someday Just hang on Just hang on ( STEALTH: Real Life ) They're ready.
Let the bitterness soak in You can stand around and wait for your savior But your patience will wear thin Dreams are fun but they belong to the night (Gasps) Like what you've done to it! You're the original icon.
I'm just messing with the best.
Thank you for wearing it.
It'll mean a lot to the people.
It means a lot to me.
Looking good.
You look beautiful.
Life's a gun Depending how you hold it You live or you're gonna die Come on, take it easy, mate! Maybe address His Royal Highness as such, next time.
Know your place.
(Shocked cries) - (All talk at once) - What is happening? I want confidentiality agreements signed Look, I don't know what Beck said or did to deserve that but he's not my brother you are.
So, what can I do for you, brother? Do you not want to go out there? Shall I tell them you're ill? No.
I can do this.
Are you sure? It's what I was born to do.
Okay, everyone, we're going to be extremely British now and pretend that none of that just happened.
Can we rise above and give that lot out there the old stiff upper? Thank God you're home.
(Fanfare) Talk about good theater.
And now for my favorite scene ( TOM ODELL: Sparrow ) Why sparrow why, won't you tell me why I'm sad? Sing us both a melody The best that you can Fly sparrow (MAN) Our first glimpse of the balcony and the Royals are scheduled to come out in a few minutes.
I can't wait.
(Chatter) (WOMAN) And here they come.
Here they are.
(MAN) Look at that.
That's King Cyrus that leads the family out.
That's an important sign.
He must still be seen as very much the head of the household, of the powers that be inside the palace.
Prince Robert has taken the balcony.
(WOMAN) Reunited with his mother and his siblings.
It's wondrous.
He's giving a wave.
(MAN) The moment the crowd have been waiting for.
They're so happy to see him, cheering like mad.
(WOMAN) Isn't it wonderful? It's like a miracle to have him home alive and well.
(Cheering) (WOMAN) Oh, look at that! The RAF Red Arrows flying overhead in a Royal salute.
A family reunited.
A nation rejoices.
(Cheering) - (WOMAN) A hug? - (MAN) Yes, I would say so.
It's a conspicuous sign When you decide between the two, tell the other one I'm single, okay? All the Royals waving their hand.
The crowd cheers for the perfect Royal family portrait.
What an honor to see this kind of display of unity and brotherly love.
And what an honor to be included in this deeply personal and emotional moment between two brothers, the first and second in line to the throne.
(WOMAN) Our nation just got a whole lot stronger and a whole lot prouder.
(MAN) I have to say these two outstanding and upstanding young men are the pride of the people.
(WOMAN) And now a word from our sponsors.