The Wild Wild West (1965) s03e05 Episode Script

Hey, this assignment's gonna be a lot more fun than I thought.
Artie, she wasn't smiling at you.
Says who, she wasn't? She was smiling at Jack O'Diamonds.
What's he got that I haven't? A better pedigree.
Hola, señores.
It is a pleasure to see you.
I am captain Raul Fortuna, fifth regiment.
I'm James West, captain.
Artemus Gordon here.
I am to escort you to the capital.
Well, if it's all the same to you, captain, I'd just as leave if we were escorted to the hotel right now, huh? It is just up the street.
When do we leave for Mexico City, captain? At first light tomorrow, señores, after you have rested.
El Presidente Juárez is looking forward to this gift from your President Grant.
He plans to ride him at the Cinco de Mayo parade.
What a horse.
How long will the trip take? Three weeks.
We must move with extreme caution.
We have many enemies who might try to steal this animal to embarrass relations between our two countries.
If this horse did not reach Mexico City, it would be most unfortunate, eh? My men will guard that horse with their lives, señores.
I'm sure you will enjoy the hospitality of the hotel.
Now, I must send a wire to my superiors in Mexico City.
They will be pleased to hear of your safe arrival.
Till we see you, eh? You know, that's a nice fellow, that Captain Fortuna.
That's Mexico's future right there.
Young, live, vital.
What's the matter with you, Artie? Oh, nothing a 2-week assignment in New Orleans wouldn't cure.
Excuse me.
Pigs are everywhere.
Bandits, assassins, traitors who want to destroy the republic.
One has to be careful just to stay alive these days.
Enough of that.
Welcome to Mexico, Señor West, Señor Gordon.
Who are you? I am Captain Raul Fortuna, fifth regiment.
I was sent here to escort you to Mexico City.
Now, where have you quartered the horse? Juárez's men don't have the horse, the United States Secret Service does not have it, and we do not have it.
Our orders from the imperial high command were explicit.
That horse must not reach Mexico City.
The idea is to embarrass the regime of Juárez.
Now, it looks like a lot of us are going to be embarrassed.
More embarrassing to be buried in an anthill up to your chin, huh? I do not like ants.
Then we'd better find that horse.
Do not make a sound, señor.
You want to find the stallion, true? True.
I can lead you to him, for a price.
How much? $100.
American.
You got a deal.
Bueno.
After sunrise, you will bring the money to me.
I will give you a map.
How do I know your map's any good? That is a chance you must take, eh? Where do we meet? To the southeast.
A high pinnacle of rocks called Castille la Vieja.
Come alone.
Do not follow me, señor.
Do not follow me, or the horse will die.
Leave me now, por favor, señor.
Who did this to you? Scum.
I am a bandit, señor, but at least I am Mexican.
These a-are traitors.
Who has the horse? Sordo.
Who? In my boot- the right one- I have a map.
It will lead you to him.
Did-did you bring the money, señor? Let me see it, please.
Oh.
Oh, never in my life have I seen so- I am dying a rich man.
It makes me- Leave me now, please, señor.
Por favor.
You are in danger, señor.
Go, go.
I will find my After him! No! But he'll escape.
Not quite, my dear Antonio.
He will lead us to the horse.
Ah, and when he finds it? We will kill them both.
I never could understand torturing a man.
Do you recognize him? Yeah, he's a bandit, Enrique Garcia, a lieutenant for a still even bigger bandit, a man named Sordo.
Bandits don't wear spurs like those.
do they? Where did you find this? Off one of them.
Apparently, Jim ran into a little competition over the map Enrique gave him.
That, I know you'll recognize.
It's the kind worn by the French lancers.
Imperialistas.
That's right.
Jim must have rode up on them while they were torturing him.
So who has the map, señor? That's not important.
Sordo has to have the horse.
This, uh Sordo character, where would I be likely to find him? Look around you.
Five hundred square miles of desert to hide in.
Somebody must know.
The villagers may, but they don't betray men like Sordo.
See, to them these bandits are like heroes.
Oh, they are, are they? Uh? Hey! Ah My grandson loves music, eh, Juan? Fill him up.
Bueno.
Bueno, Nina.
Good day.
Buenas dias, señor.
I was, um- I was riding by, and I heard the music.
Well, actually I- I smelled the beans, and I was hungry.
May I? Oh, help yourself, señor.
We have plenty.
We are not people that would deny a hungry man.
Gracias, señor.
Happy days.
Mmm.
My compliments to your cook.
This food is excellent.
Complementar tu comida.
Your family? Si.
My brothers, my cousins, my uncles, my aunts.
I have many relatives to feed, as you see.
It doesn't look like you've been, uh, feeding that one very much recently.
That one is different.
He's not one of us.
He's a different breed, like a bad snake.
During the revolution, we lose many good friends.
Good fighters in the cause of the little Indian Juárez.
We kill many like him.
But not enough.
You see, they would take all Mexico for themselves.
Dogs.
What are you gonna do with him? After a while, we will think of something.
But what is a gringo like you doing in these mountains? I'm looking for something.
Gold? No.
Cigar? They're from Havana.
You are very generous, señor.
You say you are not looking for gold? No, but I'm looking for something as rare.
A horse.
There are different horses, señor.
All kinds.
We have many horses in our own corral.
What kind of a horse is as rare as gold? This one's called an Arabian.
Oh.
What does it look like? Like the one in your corral.
It was Enrique.
He told this gringo where to find us.
Kill him now.
Where is Enrique now? He's dead.
What will you do with this horse, this rare horse that looks like my horse, if you find him? Return him to his rightful owner.
It's as simple as that.
You are a fool, gringo.
I have no choice but to kill you.
I didn't come here empty-handed.
Oh, you have money.
After we kill you, we take the money.
What's this? It's a bomb.
A bomb? The horses! Get the horses! Get the horses back! Si, compadre.
I am going to follow that gringo into hell if I have to.
What I cannot believe is that you let señor West go out alone.
What makes you think I had a choice? I should have become a chicken farmer.
Do you realize the danger? A man alone in a country that hasn't been charted yet? Who is this character, captain? Poncho.
Do you know what will happen to me, my friend, when I tell my superiors that not only have I lost the horse, a gift for my president, but the top United States Secret Service agent to boot? Yeah.
Tell me, what did this Poncho character do to earn a free portrait in the police gallery? Do? Eh, what didn't he do? He's been a kidnapper, a bank robber.
Last week he murdered three men in cold blood, and still he's not as bad as Sordo.
He isn't, huh? That is some horse, jefe.
More horse than we will ever catch this way.
Dismount, take off the saddles, make your way back to camp on foot.
Andale.
Poncho.
All right, everybody! It's all right! Have fun! Play.
Have fun! You hear me? Ha-ha-ha-ha! Señor, cerveza? Tequila? I don't drink.
Oh, señor, you are more handsome than I could have believed.
Heaven was good to me.
It is true you have killed hundred men? One hundred so far this year.
Señor.
Where is Sordo? He has gone to the mountains.
Where in the mountains? The usual place.
Mm-hmm.
I see.
What's this I hear about a horse? A beautiful horse, huh? That's it.
Everybody want that horse, but Sordo has it.
And Sordo is in the mountains, eh? In the usual place? Si.
You know the old campsite near the hacienda de la vieja.
Oh, sure.
I've been there many times myself hanging out.
Well, it's time for me to go.
Oh, señor, you brought your men.
My men? Si, your men.
Isabella! Chico.
Oh, how I missed you.
Poncho is here.
Poncho? Poncho is dead.
I bury him two days ago.
Oh, no, no, no.
Poncho is right here.
Poncho.
Turn around.
I think maybe I want to bury you again.
I think once is enough, amigo.
Go home, my pet.
Hola, amigo.
Where you have been keeping yourself, huh? It is not nice to leave a man's table so quick.
I wanted to talk some more with you.
Maybe we could make a new friend, huh? From my point of view, it would be very difficult.
We each have a point of view, huh? From where I am, you look pretty good to me.
Stand up and take off your gun belt, señor.
You know, amigo, I could have shot you for your gun happily, but for stealing my horse, that is an unspeakable crime.
Well, I guess it's all according to how you look at it, isn't it? We are looking from my point of view, amigo.
I have the gun.
Yeah, you have the gun.
What are you gonna do with me? I will think about that.
Your crime deserves a little thought.
You see, to shoot you, it's nothing.
No imagination.
I am a man of great imagination, señor.
Uh, you better hurry up.
Huh? We've got company.
Imperialistas.
This is very funny.
Forgive me if I don't see the humor in it.
We would have killed each other because of this horse, and now for the same because, we must fight together to keep from being killed.
It'll be dark in an hour.
We'll see our visitors before that.
They will come not as the wind, but as a river flood, there and there.
You know, I am not a religious man, but if somehow I could find myself in a cantina with a pretty girl at this moment, I would become one.
Have a cigar.
Huh? They're from Havana.
In Havana, they make very intriguing cigars.
Up to a point, they are not bad.
Now.
Antonio, get more men.
Si, jefe.
Hey, you are not bad for a gringo.
Yeah, what do you know about gringos? Not much.
I try to avoid them.
It's bad company.
Yeah, what about you? Oh, not so good company, either.
I am a bandit.
I rob a little.
Sometimes I kill a little.
It is not a very good living, but it's all I got.
Oh, my mother gave birth to a stupid one! My stupidity is a thing to behold.
They stole my horse.
Uh, your horse doesn't matter.
This is the one we gotta get out of here.
It will be dark soon, then it will be easy.
One of us can slip away with him.
Yeah, but which one? I always win, amigo.
It is a bad habit of mine.
Hold on.
The old hacienda the girl talked to us about is in the foothills.
Sordo should be near there.
How far is that? Six, seven hours.
And we won't have light much longer.
Better keep moving, eh? Come on.
Wolves.
Si.
He has made a kill.
He's calling his mate, telling her of his love, of his need.
They sound to him sane.
He must survive.
It's a hard life, even for a big wolf.
All of us must kill to survive, huh? Sometimes, even when we don't want to.
We are lucky, you and me.
We have only the matter of a horse to settle.
Why did you steal that horse? It was a great risk just for a horse.
Risk? Si, but not just a horse.
A great horse, amigo.
Worth more than my life even.
You know what it is to live like Sordo? Great ugliness.
Even my face, ugly.
Look at this country; cold in the night, hot in the day.
Ugliness.
Dust, sand, rocks, snakes, scorpions.
Life and death, it is nothing.
Yet it is where I live, where I survive.
Not very pretty, huh? But when I see that horse, aye That is beautiful.
To have him to look at him and say that he is mine Aye, that is That is beauty.
So when I see you and your compadre with him, I say, "look, these gringos, "they take that beauty of an animal to some rich pig of a patrón.
" You made a mistake.
I did? We're not giving this horse to any rich patrón.
We're taking it to Juárez.
To the presidente? Mm-hmm.
They're gaining on us, amigo.
There's a passage through the mountain there, a canyon.
With luck, one man can hold off an army.
It is our only chance, amigo.
There.
If we keep riding this horse, we'll kill him.
You're right.
There, mi amigo.
We'll try and make that canyon.
Whoa.
They're heading off to the mountains.
I know.
Keep after them.
But the men are tired.
So is that horse they're riding.
One more hour in the sun, and he will be dead, and our job will be finished.
What about the gringo and the other? We'll kill them both, and I want no trace of them found.
As you order, excellency.
Bueno.
Hah! Easy We have not much time, amigo.
They will be on us quicker than I care to think about.
I know.
One of us is gonna have to ride out of here.
And the other? The other is gonna have to hold them off.
You can hold them off for about an hour if you're clever.
It could be a massacre if a man is clever.
Yeah, a massacre.
Question is which man, eh? That's the question, all right, which one? For me, it is survival.
I have survived a long time, amigo.
For you, it is different.
For you, it is an ugly little Indian we call Juárez who awaits this horse.
You know Juárez? No, I've never met him.
He is an ugly little Indian, like myself, born in misery.
But what a man, amigo.
What a man.
Benito Juárez is Mexico, and he awaits my horse.
Oh What a beauty you are, like a star, like a star in my pocket.
Why were you ever born, huh? The winner rides the horse out, huh? You fight good, but you trust too quickly.
Never trust anybody.
I live a long time by that rule.
It always pays.
Does it? Si.
Get up.
What now? We made a bargain.
The winner rides out the horse.
You win the fight.
Go.
Go now.
You don't have much time.
Why are you doing this? Me, I am sentimental.
What is a bandit compared to Juárez? Leave your gun.
I will have need of it.
All right, now you get up on this horse.
What is the matter with you? Are you out of your mind? Just think I can hold them off longer than you can, that's all.
Aye, gringos.
Keep the fire warm, compadre, eh? Adios.
Adios.
Bueno suerte.
That is his problem.
I have to get you to Benito Juárez.
Aye, gringo.
Buenos dias, señors.
Say, I know you.
You are the friend of señor West.
Yeah.
What have you done with him? You'll find out soon enough, señor.
You- Get off your horse.
What are you gonna do, Sordo? I'm going to change horses.
Tell Juárez I'm sorry for the lateness in the delivery of his gift.
Tell him that an old bandit who fought with him in the revolution sends it with his best regards and his blessings.
You and me, we have a friend in trouble.
Shall we help him? Why not? Antonio, climb up there and get above him.
Pedro, Miguel, He's hit.
He's dead, muchachos! Follow me! What is the matter with you? We are afraid, excellency! Of what? Of one dead gringo? Has any one of you ever been bitten by a dead scorpion, huh? The smell of cowards is too strong for me here.
Look.
Look at me.
Hey, gringo.
Are you dead? Shoot me, huh? Gringo, kill me.
You see? He's dead.
Come on, follow me.
We have work to do.
Having a little trouble? You might say so, Artie.
How's the Jack O'Diamonds? Safe with Captain Fortuna.
You have been having trouble.
Yeah, it's going to heal all right, though.
You have a cigar? Yeah.
Here you are.
They made in Havana? Yeah, yeah, but it won't explode.
You got no sense of humor.
Well That's one whale of a fighting man.
One of the best I've ever seen.
Señors.
Do nothing foolish.
Your money, please.
Now, throw your guns and your gun belts in the bushes.
Did you ever have the feeling that you'd been had? Sordo, you'll never make it.
You've been wounded too seriously.
Oh, this? Oh I have been hurt worse than this.
They do not call me the old fox for nothing.
Now, because you are not bad gringos, I am going to leave you a horse.
Give my regards to Juárez, eh? Tell him to ride my horse in good health.
Adios, amigos.
How far do you think he'll get? Oh, about as far as a hangman's noose.
Yeah, that's for sure.
Someday.
Yeah, but not today, Artie.
Not today.