Twin Peaks s03e05 Episode Script

1 [electricity crackling.]
[atmospheric music.]
[Julee Cruise's "Falling" playing.]
[instrumental music.]
We just drove by.
His car's still there.
[Lorraine.]
What the hell, Gene? Is he still inside? Can't tell, but the lights are on in there.
Fuck, Gene! This job was supposed to be done yesterday.
Are you trying to get me killed? What do you want us to do? We're all over it.
Fuck! [line beeping.]
She's a worrier.
Yeah.
[instrumental hip-hop beat.]
[device ringing.]
[bright tone.]
[beeps.]
[beeping.]
[sighs.]
Cause of death Took me a while, but I think someone cut this man's head off.
Here's the headline.
Actually, I just gave you the headline.
Yeah, I'm still doing stand-up on the weekends.
[exhales deeply.]
This man hadn't eaten for days, at least not any food, but I found this in his stomach.
Maybe it's just me, but I'd start with the wife.
It's inscribed.
Yes, it says "To Dougie, with love, Janey-E.
" And now food is coming.
[door opens, keys jangle.]
[knob squeaks, water running.]
[manic laughter.]
[dark music.]
You're still with me.
That's good.
Could you send in Steven, please? Sir, you wanted to see me? Yes, I wanted to see you.
Sit down.
Okay.
Great.
Yeah, well, not great.
You think you're some sort of hotshot? Excuse me? This résumé is one of the worst written I've ever seen, and you didn't even fill out this form properly.
Not even close.
It's incomplete.
It's worse than sloppy.
I wanted to see you to tell you that if you ever want to find work anyplace, then you better get your act together, do things properly, and start showing some respect for a possible future employer, because based on this shit, you'd never get hired here, and I would never recommend you for any work, anyplace.
Now, you can get up and get your ass out of here.
[clears throat.]
[door closes.]
What an asshole.
That's rough.
Yeah.
When do you get those tests back? [Lucy.]
Sheriff Truman? Your wife is here.
She went to your office, and you weren't there.
I could have told her that.
Hold on a minute.
[Lucy.]
She is now walking to Deputy Chief Hawk's office, where you are.
Thank you, Lucy.
Doris is coming.
You hang tough, Harry.
Okay.
I'll check in with you tomorrow.
[door slams.]
Why aren't you in your office? Because I'm here.
You making fun of me? What is it, Doris? Dwight's got diarrhea.
The twins are coming this weekend.
He got in the upper cupboard again.
And I am not going another day with a leaking pipe.
It soaked the pantry floor, and we're gonna get that black mold, Frank! Did you call them? Yes.
They're very busy.
They know all about the leaking pipe and promise to have it fixed by tomorrow night.
So I have to go a full day with a leaking pipe? Do you realize what this is gonna cause? You have a bucket under it? Yes! But it filled up, and it slopped all over the floor.
I can't keep my eye on a bucket all day, Frank.
Can you get a bigger bucket? Oh.
Oh, so I can spend money on a bucket that we'll probably never use again, but I can't spend money on that new rug that I really like.
Is that it? That is not fair, Frank.
And what about Dad's car? I'm not gonna have him killed in that damn death-trap car.
I told you this.
Sammy looked at it, and it's fine.
When? About two hours ago.
Well, I wish you would've called me.
I've been just waiting at the house in case Dad needed a ride somewhere.
You're impossible! [door slams.]
Go get in the car, Sonny Jim.
[sighs.]
Okay, I hid the money.
I counted it $425,000.
Don't worry.
It's in our secret place.
Now, when you get to work, call them and set up a time and pay them their 50 grand, okay? Then we'll be free and clear.
[soft music.]
Okay, Dougie, you're acting weird as shit.
Just don't forget to call them, okay? And no more drinking and gambling.
Now get going.
You'll be late for work.
Work.
[sighs.]
Damn.
Your car.
Okay, get in.
I'll drive you.
Where is your car, anyway? [sighs.]
In the car! [heavy metal playing on car stereo.]
[indistinct chatter.]
[sighs.]
Get out of the car, Dougie.
[sighs.]
I think you're having one of your episodes.
Now listen to me.
You need to pull yourself together and get to work.
Get out of this car now.
[scoffs.]
Get out of this car and go to work.
Dougie, get to work.
[sighs.]
Dougie! Honestly.
[elevator bell dings, indistinct chatter.]
Off in dreamland again, huh, Dougie? Get the lead out, pal.
Staff meeting starts in three minutes.
[soft jazz rhythm.]
[elevator bell dings.]
- Mary.
- Mm-hmm.
Seven up.
[imitates explosion.]
[bell chiming.]
All right.
Coffee.
[inhales sharply.]
Sorry, Dougie.
I didn't get one for you.
I didn't even know if you'd be here today.
- Coffee.
- All right.
You can have Frank's.
He never drinks his, anyway, and I got an extra green tea.
Maybe he'll like that, huh? Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Mmm, mmm.
[laughing.]
Damn good Joe, huh, Dougie? - Ah, damn good Joe.
- Yeah, yeah.
Mmm, mmm.
It's pretty damn good.
[elevator bell dings.]
Hey, thanks for coming in.
I hope everything's okay.
Yeah, no problem.
Coffee? You all right? I don't know him.
Dougie come on, pal.
Come along.
[telephone ringing in the distance.]
Hey! Look who's back from Bendersville.
[chuckles.]
With a new haircut.
[whispering.]
I covered for your ass, pal.
You owe me big-time for that.
What'd you do? Huh? Did you go drinking in a steam bath? [laughing.]
Hmm.
Okay.
Yeah.
Good morning.
[indistinct chatter.]
[sighs.]
Did you get my note? No, I didn't get your note.
I sent you one.
Tell it to your wife, Darren.
[footsteps in the distance.]
[telephone ringing in the distance.]
Hey, Phil.
I gave Dougie your coffee.
I'm sorry.
He really wanted it.
Do you want this green tea latte? No.
I wa I want that.
Sorry.
Uh Sorry.
Okay.
I'll try it.
[sniffs.]
[indistinct chatter.]
All right, let's get started.
Sit down, Dougie.
Cut the shit, Dougie.
Hey, come here.
Come here.
Hey, Dougie.
Right here.
Come on.
[pats chair.]
Tony, lead us off.
Okay, I've got, uh, 16 new claims this week, and two claims from last week have been processed and approved, so we have to pay out.
Which ones are those? The Beakers, who had the broken water main and Littlefield.
[scoffs.]
Forensics made Littlefield for arson.
There there's no arson, Bushnell.
Um, the inspectors cleared it.
It checks out.
It's legit.
We have to honor the claim.
He's lying.
What'd you say? What did you say? Are you calling me a liar, Dougie? Hey, where the hell do you get off calling me a liar? What do you mean by that, Dougie? I want you in my office as soon as we're finished here.
So, like I was saying, Littlefield's legit.
May I continue? Is that okay with you, Dougie? My friend? [footsteps approaching.]
[sighs.]
Close the door behind you on your way out.
Dougie, where do you get the stones to call my best agent a liar? Agent.
He closes more cases in a week than you do in a month.
[softly.]
Agent.
This is serious, Dougie.
This is no game.
- Game.
- Uh-huh.
Okay, Dougie, we'll play a game.
It's a homework game, since you missed the last two days of school, smart guy.
I want you to take these case files home with you tonight.
I need a full assessment on each case.
And what you come back with tomorrow will have a whole hell of a lot to do with your future at this company.
Case files.
[sighing.]
Is the men's room locked? Come on, I'll sneak you in the ladies'.
Come on.
[groaning.]
[grunting.]
You know, I was thinking maybe I'll let you kiss me now, handsome.
[breathing heavily.]
[chuckles.]
Okay, go ahead.
I'll keep watch.
[sighs.]
[Dougie moans loudly.]
[laughing.]
[static whirs.]
Yes? [man speaking indistinctly over radio.]
I'll tell him now.
They're on their way up.
[dark instrumental music.]
Thirty jackpots in a row.
We haven't paid out that many in a year.
Turn him around.
How much did that man there on the television win? $425,000.
Hmm.
[grunts.]
Four hundred twenty f [laughing.]
And you're trying to tell us that you weren't in on this? How much did that man win, again? [stammers.]
$425,000.
[grunting.]
[grunting continues.]
[coughing.]
You're fucking fired.
Get him out of here.
[grunts.]
Leave town.
Don't ever come back.
You.
You got his job.
You let us know if this man ever comes in here again.
Mm.
[exhales sharply.]
[door opens.]
[door closes.]
[engine revving, tires squealing.]
[heavy metal playing on stereo.]
Fuck off, kid! Get the fuck out of here! [engine grinds.]
[explosion.]
Fuck! [tires squealing.]
[door opens.]
[door closes.]
[dramatic music.]
All done, Jade.
Hey, you got a john in the state of Washington? What? Found this hotel key in your car.
[chuckles.]
Oh, Dougie.
Give me a second, Chris.
Toad, bread's here.
[Becky.]
Hey.
Hey, Toad.
Hiya, Becky.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, dear.
Hi.
What's up? I can't stand this.
I need some more money.
I'm sorry.
He's looking for work.
[Shelly.]
That's a lot.
[indistinct conversation.]
He will find a job.
- Honey, I can give you this.
- Okay.
- But this is all I got.
- Thanks.
I love you.
I love you, too, Becky.
[sighs.]
Shelly, this is the third time she's asked you for money in two weeks.
I know.
If you don't help her now, it's gonna get a lot harder to help her later.
We both know that tune, don't we? [sighs.]
How much money did we get? - Aw.
- $72.
Hey, cheer up.
I'm good for it.
I'll pay her back.
[stammers.]
They're watching us.
I'm gonna roll.
[engine grinds.]
[engine turns over.]
[sighs.]
[exhales deeply.]
Kiss me.
And now I'm gonna take my girl out to dinner.
Hey, I saved some for you.
Want a taste? Did you take all of that today? Yeah.
[stammering.]
Why? Why wouldn't I? For my interviews.
You know how nervous I get.
Come on.
Besides, I got some great fucking feedback today.
[snorting.]
[snorts.]
[clears throat.]
I'll tell you all about it at dinner.
And in between, I'll tell you how much I love you, and I'll tell you how beautiful you are, and I'll tell you how sexy you are, and those tits, how majestic they are, and that ass Give me a break, and I'll get you some bread.
Why? Because I heard you've been kneading it all day.
[laughing.]
[The Paris Sisters' "I Love How You Love Me" plays on stereo.]
I love how you love me [woman.]
I love how your eyes close whenever you kiss me.
And when I'm away from you, I love how you miss me.
I love the way your touch is always Heavenly But, darling, most of all I love how you love me Love how you love me I love how you hug me Love how you love me I love how you squeeze me, tease me, please me Love how you love me I love how you love me [elevator beeping.]
[man coughs softly.]
[elevator bell dings.]
- Okay, all right, buddy.
- Excuse us.
- Come on.
- Come on, Dougie, move! - We have arrived.
- Hello? - Come on! - Dougie, come on.
- Jeez! - Get out of the way.
Hawk? Have you found any Indians? Anywhere? I-I haven't found any Indians.
No, Andy.
[clock ticking.]
[alarm ringing, bell tolls.]
It's seven o'clock.
Do you know where your freedom is? [record player winding up.]
[Sousa's "The Stars and Stripes Forever" playing.]
Coming to you live and electrified from studio A, high atop the escarpments of White Tail Peak, the roof Ruff, ruff Of the American Hindu Kush, this is Dr.
Amp doing the vamp for liberty, climbing the ramp to justice, and lighting the lamp of freedom.
[switch clicks, fireworks exploding.]
So what's on your mind tonight? I mean, you know I'm gonna tell you what's on mine.
We're sinking down deep in the mud, and the fucks are at it again! The same vast global corporate conspiracy.
Different day.
You can't see it without a cosmic flashlight.
Guess what.
I've got one.
Oh, yeah.
And its beam, it penetrates the igneous rock of ignorance.
It flips that rock over, and there they are, exposed, wriggling, squirming, crawling on their bellies like foul maggots, frantically racing back to the cover of darkness that they so crave.
We're coming for you.
[Dr.
Amp.]
Yeah, we're coming for you.
Let's just see what they're cooking up today.
I know what I'll be cooking up.
[Dr.
Amp.]
Know the ingredients.
Just read what's on the box.
In fact, read between the lines.
What's lurking in that That toaster waffle, those muffins [Dr.
Amp.]
that frozen children's treat? Poison! Deadly poisons.
That's what's there.
And what's waiting for you? Cancer! Leukemia! Autoimmune disorders! Pulmonary embolism! Warts! Psoriasis, eczema! Cardiac arrest! Where are the cops when we need them? Anorexia, body-image bullshit, microbial toxins, bacterial toxins, environmental toxins! Our air, our water, our earth.
The very soil itself! Our food! Our bodies poisoned! Poisoned! [liquid sloshing.]
Ahh.
That's huckleberry extract in clean, boiled water from the pure, artesian springs of White Tail Peak.
Yeah.
[Dr.
Amp.]
Fuck that acai berry shit from the Amazon.
[chuckles.]
In the immortal words of Pete Seeger, if I had a hammer Guess what.
I've got a hammer.
[ringing tone.]
You must see, hear, understand, and act.
[Dr.
Amp.]
Act now.
Friends, we all live in the mud.
In the shit! Shovel your way out of the shit.
[shimmering tones.]
[electricity buzzing.]
This is your shiny, gold shovel.
Two coats, guaranteed.
Shovel your way out of the shit and into the truth.
Dig yourself out of the shit $29.
99.
That's right.
Only $29.
99 plus shipping.
Accept no substitute.
Get yours now.
[door closes.]
[door opens.]
[woman.]
You can go in now.
We got another database hit on prints for Major Garland Briggs.
Major Garland Briggs.
All right.
And how many is that? This would be the 16th time.
Sixteen hits in, what, 25 years? [sighs.]
And where'd this one come from? Police.
Buckhorn, South Dakota.
Another wild-goose chase, I bet, but we got to check it out.
You ever been to South Dakota, Cindy? [chuckles.]
I hear it's lovely this time of year.
And remember, if this is real But it won't be But if it's real, we have to alert the FBI.
I'm booking the flight.
[Davis.]
First class, Cindy.
[chuckles.]
Yeah, right.
[door opens.]
- [sighs.]
- [door closes.]
[rock music.]
I have to ask you to stop smoking.
Put that cigarette out.
Make me.
I'll take care of this.
Just make sure he stops smoking in here.
Okay? Give me a smoke.
Keep the whole pack.
Thanks, buddy.
[clicks tongue.]
Hey, can I have a light? Come here.
Sit down.
- Hey.
- Hey what? Hey, what's your name? - Charlotte.
- Yeah? You want to fuck me, Charlotte? You want to fuck? No.
No, stop it.
Hey, leave her alone.
Little fucking smoking babies.
[man chuckles.]
Makes me laugh.
I'm gonna laugh when I fuck you, bitch! [chuckles.]
[mouse clicking.]
[telephone ringing in the distance.]
[door beeps, unlocks.]
One phone call.
Thank you, Warden Murphy.
[keypad beeping.]
[door closes.]
Are we recording? Recording everything.
Now that everyone's here, I will make my phone call.
Now, who should I call? Should I call Mr.
Strawberry? What the hell? No, I don't think I'll call Mr.
Strawberry.
I don't think he's taking calls.
I know.
I know who to call.
[phone beeping.]
[alarms blaring.]
What the hell? How is he doing this? How is he doing this? Did he make a call? What number did he dial? [shouting indistinctly.]
The cow jumped over the moon.
[alarms continue blaring.]
[blaring stop.]
[scoffs.]
What did this guy just do? [beeping.]
[jazz music.]
Sir? There's no loitering here, sir.
Move it along, champ.