Ugly Betty s03e05 Episode Script
Granny Pants
(Wilhelmina) I Can Make This Whole Thing Go Away.
(Alexis) And What's It Going To Cost Me? I'll Convince Her To Split Her Shares, Sign Over Half To Daniel, Half To You.
You'll Both Be Editors-In-Chief.
Whatever Happens With You And Your Wife, I Can't Be Responsible For It.
They Can't Just Take Your Son.
(Daniel) He's Not My Son.
But I Want You To Be My Father.
Maybe I Can Be Your Really Cool American Uncle.
(Betty) That's Kimmie Keegan.
She Tortured Me In High School.
Aah! That's Your Daughter? I Don't Hate You.
I Just Feel Like Nothing's Ever Gonna Change.
You Just Have To Be Willing To Do Something About It.
(Man) Forward! (Man) Can We Get More Smoke In Here? (Woman) Look Up.
Look Up, Everybody.
We Need To See Some Faces, People.
All Right, I'm Not Loving This.
Oh, But You Promised Zac Posen.
I Know.
We'll Give Him A Couple Pages In Front Of Book.
One Bayonet, Please.
Oh, And I'm Worried About Shadows.
We're Gonna Lose The Helmet.
Okay.
Great.
I'll Go Disarm.
Oh! Miss Meade, I've Been Meaning To Talk To You, But With All The Craziness Of Doing These Photo Shoots Daniel's Way And Then Redoing Them Wilhelmina's Way And Then Back To Wil-- Betty, I Get The Pattern.
Well Has Daniel Said Anything To You About D.
J.
Being Gone? Not A Word.
Me Neither.
I'm Worried About Him.
He's Focusing All His Energy On Work.
He's Totally Avoiding His Feelings.
Well, On The Spectrum Of Our Family's Vices, Work Is A Lot Healthier Than Murder.
Hmm.
That's True.
Betty, You Have A Lot On Your Plate.
Let Me Take Care Of Daniel.
All Right.
Thanks, Guys.
(Gasps) Puppy! Where Did You Come From? What The Hell Is This? (Daniel) Love Is A Battlefield.
It's The Center Spread For Our Valentine's Issue.
I Thought We Were Doing Puppy Love.
No, You Were Doing Puppy Love.
I Didn't Like It.
Go Ahead.
We Can Start.
Oh, Because Nothing Says Romance Like Missing Limbs.
I'm On With The P.
E.
T.
A.
People About The Coat.
They're In An Uproar Because You're Wearing Dalmatian.
Oh, For God Sakes, It's Not Real Dog.
It's Rare Albino Leopard.
It's Rare Albino Leopard.
Get The Kids And The Puppies And Lose Those Soldiers.
Yeah.
Apparently.
No, I Am Not Letting You Walk All Over Me.
This Is The Shoot I Want To Do.
Kill The Puppies.
(Betty And Marc Gasp) Did You Hear That? Daniel Meade Kills Puppies.
Wilhelmina Slater Does Not Support Our Troops.
And Here Comes The Editor-In-Chief Argument.
In Case You've Forgotten, I Am The Editor-In-Chief Of This Magazine.
In Case You've Forgotten, I'm The Editor-In-Chief, Too.
Oh, Daniel! Every Time, For 20 Years I'm Not Gonna Do This With You.
I Want You To Leave My Set.
I've Worked On This.
I Have Brought This Magazine Up-- This Is My Set, Wilhelmina.
Okay, I Am Not The Editor-In-Chief Of This Magazine, But This Is A Disaster.
This Is About Setting Precedent.
Alexis Is Gone.
Wilhelmina And I Share Power 50/50 Now.
Okay, Daniel, But Wilhelmina Is Not Going To Budge, And Neither Are You, Which Means We Have To Do Everything Twice, But Nothing Is Actually Getting Done.
And Hey, Look, I-I Hate To Complain, But This Is Just More Work Than I Can Handle.
So What, I Should Roll Over To Make Your Life Easier? No, And I'm Not Loving The Attitude, By The Way.
I'm Just Saying Something Has To Change.
Well I'm Bored.
I'm In A Rush.
See, This Is A Perfectly Hideous Outfit You're Wearing, But I've Already Mocked It.
Where Am I Supposed To Find Job Satisfaction? I Don't Know.
Maybe Your Job.
Ugh.
There's Something At Your Desk.
Hello? Betty.
Thank God You're Here.
Kimmie? I Really Need Your Help.
Remember When You Came To Flushing Burger And Gave Me That Speech About How I Could Do Better? Uh-Huh.
Well, Turns Out I Can't.
I Quit My Job, And No One Wants To Hire Me.
My Boyfriend That I Hate-- He Cheated On Me With My Ex-Stepsister.
And I'm Having Pains In My Large Joints.
I Mean, Do You Think My Lyme Disease Is Coming Back? I-I Don't Know.
Look, I Would Love To Blame This All On You, Really, I Would, But Truth Is, My Life Has Been A Downhill Slide Into Suck Since High School.
I Mean, Back Then, People Would Applaud For Me When I Walked Into A Room, Betty, And What If That Doesn't Happen Anymore? You Get Used To It.
The Thing Is, You Seem To Have Everything So Together, And--And I Thought Maybe You Could Help Me Turn Things Around By Getting Me A Job Here.
Um, Gosh, Kimmie I Would Really, Really Like To Help You.
It's Just, You Know,There Aren't Really Any Openings Here And Sorry.
Betty, You Know, I Was Thinking About What You Said Earlier.
Things Really Are Crazy Here.
Why Don't You Get A Temp To Help You Out? Uh, That's Not Necessary.
Oh, My God.
Hi.
I'm Betty's Friend From High School, And We Were Just Talking About How I Should Maybe Work Here.
Perfect Timing.
Welcome To "Mode.
" Yes! Yes! I'm In Hell.
Oh, Is She Really That Bad? You Have No Idea.
When We Were In Junior High, She Had The Entire Student Body Calling Me (Whispers) "Pig Latin.
" (Laughs) (Normal Voice) Hey! Oh, Come On.
I've Had An Awful Lot Of Trauma.
For God Sake, Let Me Have My Laugh.
How Is Stuart Anyway? Oh, Perfectly Fine Until He Doesn't Want To Do The Dishes Or The Washing, And Then It's All, "Oh, I'm Dying.
I'm Dying.
" Christina.
Oh.
We've Decided To Act Like Everything's Normal.
It's The Only Way To Not Go Crazy.
So Come On.
Finish Telling Me About The Hateful Hellion.
Well, I Finally Make It To High School.
It's My Chance At A Fresh Start, But Kimmie Is There, Too.
Hi, Kimmie.
I Was Thinking, Since We're Both New Here And We Don't Know Anyone Else, Maybe We Could Sit Together? Fine.
Really? Oh, My God.
Okay, Great.
(Girls Laughing) Wait.
Since You're Up Already, Would You Mind Getting Me A Water? Of Course.
No Problem-O.
You've Got Something On Your Skirt.
Hmm? You've Got Something On Your Skirt.
And That's Why For Four Years, They Called Me "Granny Pants.
" Christina, I Have Worked Too Hard Just To Get The People At "Mode" To Almost Not Hate Me.
I Don't Want Her To Ruin That.
I Know, But You've Got All The Power Now, And Now It's Your Turn To Make Her Life A Misery.
I Don't Know About That.
It's Called Karma Granny Pants.
Yeah, Okay, Let's Not Make That A Thing.
That Was A Secret.
(School Bell Rings) So Apparently Another Billy Elliot's Voice Started To Change, And They're Casting For Three New Kids.
Mrs.
Read's Gonna Recommend Me For The Audition.
Wait.
You're Auditioning For "Billy Elliot" On Broadway? Yeah.
I Mean, A Blue-Collar British Kid From A Coal-Mining Town With A Flair For Dance? It's Like It Was Written For Me.
She's Gonna Call Me Tonight And Let Me Know.
Oops.
Loser.
(Boy Snickers) Too Easy.
I Am Sure This Happened To Patti Lupone.
He's Just A Stupid Jock.
Daniel Was Adamant.
He Wants The One On The Left.
But They Are Exactly The Same.
No, Wilhelmina Wants The One On The Right.
Welcome To My World.
I Got Most Of Your Receipts, But Wilmemina Wasn't In Her Office.
Great.
Oh, There She Is.
Oh, You Really Shouldn't It's Your Turn To Make Her Life A Misery.
Wait Too Long.
We Really Need Them.
Hey,Wilmemina,I Have To Get Your Receipts.
Oh, My God.
I Have That Same Jacket, Except I Got Mine At A Discount Store For 60% Off, And You Can't Even See The Hole Under The Armpit.
Marc? Scat! Wilmemina? 60% Off? I'm So, So Sorry.
That Will Never Happen Again.
Why Is She Even Talking To Me? Never.
I Know It's Mean, But It Kind Of Felt Good.
That Bitch Got What She Deserved.
And If The Tables Were Turned, She Would Have Done Something Way Worse To Me.
Tie That Skank To A Lamppost And Let Her Rot.
Um Okay.
What's Going On With You? Oh, I'm Trying Not To Be Sad About Coach, So I'm Choosing Anger.
It's A Great Release.
Aah! Yeah, She's Been A Delight.
You Know, Have You Ever Thought About Helping Kimmie Out? Dad, How Could You Say That? She Was Terrible To You At Flushing Burger.
I Would Totally Get Revenge On My Bullies If I Could.
Wait A Minute.
You Have Bullies? Why Didn't I Know About This? It's Nothing.
Well, It's Gonna Be Something When I Go Down There And I Kick Their Asses.
We're Talking About Betty.
Betty.
I Don't Understand Why I Have To Be The Bigger Person.
I Mean, When I Started At "Mode," No One Helped Me.
And Did You Like It? No, But I Dealt With It, Because That Is A Part Of Growing Up.
What? So Is Putting The Past Behind You.
If You Give Kimmie A Chance, Maybe You'll Find You're Not As Different As You Think.
What If We "Accidentally" Shaved Half Of Betty's Head While She Slept? That'd Be Something New To Mock.
It's Funny, But It Seems Like A Lot Of Work.
Yeah, And She Might Actually Look Better.
(Laughs) (Laughs) (Gasps) Temp.
(Gasps) Temp.
Oh, My God.
It's An Achy Breaky Tart.
Hey.
Hey.
(Gasps) Cute Tiny Backpack.
Do You Put All Your Tiny Scrunchies In It? I Do.
Oh, It's So Dope, Not '90s At All.
Oh, Great, Because I Was Worried.
You Know, I-I Haven't Bought New Clothes Since High School.
In My Old Job, We Used To Have Uniforms.
N.
I.
I Love My Job.
(Wilhelmina) Okay, People.
We Still Don't Have A Center Spread.
We Have A Lot Work Coming Up.
Whoa! (Easel Thuds) Oh! Sorry! Kimmie (Whispers) Why Don't You Go Get Some Waters For The Room? (Whispers) Okay.
Okay.
Wow.
Throw A Poncho And Sideburns On That Girl, She Could Be You, Betty.
Well, For Our First New Order Of Business, Fire That Train Wreck.
(Thud) Okay, Stop! (Gasps) Look, Sometimes When People Walk In Here, They Get Nervous And They Don't Do So Well On Their First Day Or Maybe They Make Regrettable Wardrobe Decisions That They Can Never Live Down.
Betty, I Know She's Your Friend, But You're The One Who's Gonna Have To Pick Up The Slack If She Can't Cut It.
Well, It Won't Happen.
I'm Gonna Turn Her Into The Perfect Assistant.
±¾×ÖÄ»½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½»Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌÒµÓÃ; ³óÅ®±´µÙ µÚÈý¼¾ µÚ5¼¯ ·Ò룺¸öÈËId У Ô£º¸öÈËId ʱ¼äÖ᣺¬ ±ó Working At "Mode" Is Intimidating, So I've Created An Acronym To Help You Remember The Three Most Important Things--A.
R.
G.
"Arg.
" Let's Start With "A"-- Anticipate.
Know What People Need Before They Do.
How Do You Know What They-- I Anticipated You Were Gonna Ask That.
Wow.
You're Good.
I Know.
Then There's "R"--Research.
Read Everything, Listen To Everything, Know Everything.
Everything? Did I Not Just Say Everything Three Times? For Example, Yesterday You Needed To Know That If You Need Wilhelmina's Receipts, You Never Ask Her For Them.
But You Told Me To.
Another Lesson--Be Careful Who You Listen To.
But Back To Wilhelmina.
Avoidance Is Key.
If You Screw Up With Her, You're Fired Or You Could Die.
There Have Been Rumors.
If You Need Something, This Is What You Do.
Wow.
It's Too Bad Daniel Can't Go To The Premiere For That New Colin Farrell Movie.
Colin Farrell? Oh, That's Right.
Amanda Mentioned You Liked Him.
What Do You Want? Wilhelmina's September Receipts.
Do I Get A Guest? If You Promise Me October.
All Right, On Your Desk In An Hour.
And That's "G"--Gumption.
Wow.
This Is Harder Than I Thought.
Well, Take A Deep Breath Because We're Just Getting Started.
Try Again.
Wilhelmina.
Wilmemina.
Wil-Hel-Mina.
Wilmemina.
* I'm Not Containable * I Ain't Freakin', I Ain't Fakin' This * Okay, Take It By The Handle And Press That Button.
Wil-Ah-Mina.
Wil-Mel-Mina.
Okay, There's An Easy Way To Remember This.
There's "Hell" In It.
Hell-Me-Mina.
What Is Wrong With You? Maybe This Was A Big Mistake.
No, No, No, No, No, No.
It's Not A Big Mistake.
Look, I Know That These Past Couple Of Years Have Been Really Rough On You, But You're Kimmie Keegan.
You Were Homecoming Queen And Prom Queen And President Of The Senior Class And A Cheerleader.
Head Cheerleader.
Head Cheerleader.
See? Now You Just Gotta Find That Confidence That You Had In High School.
Two, Four, Six, Eight.
Kimmie Keegan Used To Be Great? That's A Start.
You Are Really Stepping Up.
Oh-Ho, That Look On Wilhelmina's Stretched Face When You Refused To Give In To Her Shoot Was Priceless.
Since When Do You Eat Kids' Cereal? D.
J.
Turned Me On To It.
It Turns The Milk Blue.
Oh, I Also Found Some Of D.
J.
'S Things Around The House-- Baseball Cards (Scoffs) Lingerie Catalogue Oh, And Something Called "Street Wars Five: Revenge Of The Pimps.
" Actually, That's Mine.
I Know What You're Trying To Do.
I Don't Want To Talk About It.
Just Having My Morning Bowl Of Marshmallows.
What Do You Want Me To Say? I Miss Him.
When He Was Here, I Had M-More Balance.
It's Like The Stupid Things Didn't Matter Anymore.
Now All I Have Are The Stupid Things.
I-I Just--I You Just What? I Want A Family, Mom.
Well, That's Wonderful.
I Guess.
But What Am I Supposed To Do About It? The Women I've Been Meeting Aren't Exactly Life Mates.
I Mean, My Clock Is Ticking.
Your Father Conceived A Child After He Was Dead.
You'll Be Fine.
Very Good.
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, It's Good, But You're Still Popping Your Hip.
Hilda.
I Saw "A Chorus Line," Okay? Okay, Mom? Mom, I'm Going To Get Some Water.
Okay, But Don't Think That Means You Get An Automatic Bathroom Break In An Hour.
You're Riding Him Pretty Hard, Don't You Think? Maybe It's Time For You To Be Done With The Anger Phase.
No, No, No.
It's Not Anger.
It's Just I Really Want Him To Get This.
He's Having A Hard Time At School Lately.
Really? Yeah.
You Heard Him Talking About The Bullies.
Yeah, But I Didn't Think It Was Serious.
He Downplays It, But I Just Want Him To Have A Place Where He Fits In.
Okay.
I'm Ready.
From The Top.
Five, Six, Seven, Eight.
Hey.
So I Noticed Daniel's Cuticles Were A Little Rough.
I Heard The Beauty Editor Talking About This New Spa Where They Soak Your Fingers In Organic Olive Oil.
They Told Me No Openings Till March.
I Told Them No "Editor's Pick" In "Mode.
" Daniel Has An Appointment For Friday.
Well You Anticipated, Did Research And Showed Gumption.
Arg.
Arg.
You've Been So Amazing To Me.
I Have To Find A Way To Thank You.
Oh, It's Not Necessary.
Let's Go Out Tonight.
Really? I Was Updating Daniel's Contacts, And I Got Us Into All The Hot Clubs.
I've Tried To Get In Before, But It's Like They Could Smell The Bridge And Tunnel On Me.
But Tonight You And Me Are V.
I.
P.
I'm So Glad We're Becoming Friends.
Me, Too.
Could You Proof This? Sure.
Is This An Application For A Dating Service? Actually, It's A Discreet, High-End Matchmaking Organization.
I Thought It's Time I Got Serious About Meeting Someone.
And Since The Last Woman I Picked Ended Up Burning My House Down, I Thought I'd Trust The Professionals.
That's Wonderful.
Okay, You're Not This Tall.
Depends On The Shoe.
Keep Reading.
"Likes--Sports" Mm-Hmm.
"Women" Mm-Hmm.
"Yoga"? Yeah, I Took A Class.
Right.
"Walks At Sunset And Myself.
" Well, I Thought It Shows Healthy Self-Esteem.
Why Don't I Just Take A Quick Pass At This? Oh, Oh, By The Way, Do You Think We're Gonna Be Working Late Tonight? Uh, Probably Not.
Good.
Don't You Want To Know What I'm Doing? What Are You Doing, Betty? I'm Going Clubbing With Kimmie Keegan.
Yeah! Betty Suarez Is Going Clubbing With Kimmie Keegan.
Fun.
No, You Have No Idea What A Big Deal This Is.
In High School, She Wouldn't Even Give Me The Time Of Day.
And Now, I Mean, I Really Like Her, And She Likes Me.
You Know, It Just Goes To Show, You Can Get Over Your Past, Which Is A Great Lesson For You And Wilhelmina.
Go.
Going.
I Noticed You Like A Sugar Fix After Lunch, So I Brought You A Cookie.
You're Pretty.
I Just Assumed You Weren't Because You're A Friend Of Betty's.
Oh, Betty's The Best, Isn't She? I Mean, She Taught Me Everything About This Place.
I Can--I Can Collate, I Can Reduce, I Can Do Double-Sided.
I Officially Rock The Copy Room.
Okay, I Don't Know Where This Copy Room Is.
Look, Knowing Stuff Is Fine For Girls Like Betty, Who Don't Have Their Looks To Skate By On, But I Can Show You What's Really Important.
No.
Can You Believe This? It's So Exciting.
My Baby's On Broadway.
Okay, Ready? Smile.
(Scoffs) Mom.
Okay, I'm Gonna Go Sign In.
Okay.
Good Luck.
Hi.
(Whispers) Sit Down.
Sit Down.
What Are You Doing Here? What? I Thought I'd Give The Acting Thing A Try.
(Scoffs) Whatever.
My Mom Said I Could Only Play Football If I Did This.
(Woman) "A" Through "M," Over Here.
Checking Out The Competition? He Goes To My School.
Trust Me.
That Guy's No Competish.
They're Sending You On A Dinner Cruise Around The Harbor So You Can Get To Know Her.
I Still Can't Believe They Found Someone That Fast.
I Kind Of Wish I Had Time For That Olive Oil Manicure.
Right.
Well, Here's A Copy Of Her Profile-- Number 4-9-5-2-4.
She Is Smart, A Former Model, Loves Her Job And Her Idea Of A Perfect Day Is A Picnic In The Park With Children.
She Sounds Perfect.
She'll Think You're Perfect, Too.
Oh, Maybe Do Another Button.
The Other Way.
Ta-Da! Kimmie, Hi.
You Look So I Know, Right? Amanda Took Me To The Closet And Hair And Makeup.
I Mean, I Can't Believe We Can Just Use Those Things Whenever We Want.
We Can't.
Amanda Just Tends To Make Up Her Own Rules.
Oh, Got It.
Unfortunately, I Was Talking To Amanda About Us Going Clubbing Tonight, And She Said It Would Be Way More Fun If Her And Marc Came, Too.
No! It--It Wouldn't.
Okay, I Mean, I-I-- What Was I Supposed To Do? I Had To Invite Them.
But Tonight Is About You And Me.
So Don't Worry.
We'll Totally Ignore Them.
What Are You Guys Talking About? Okay, Does It-- Can I Open This? No, Too Dangerous.
But I Know Them.
One Time I Let My Girlfriend Open It.
She Was Shot.
Oh, My God.
On The Plus Side, I'm Single.
What Are You Laughing About? What's--What's So Funny? It's Too Hard To Explain.
You Could Try.
No, I Won't, I Won't.
You Could Try.
(Amanda) I Can't Even Explain It Like That.
I'm Pretty Smart.
You Know, You're Not Part Of Their Group.
Yes, I Am.
Oh, My God.
We Are Totally Here.
Guys.
Guys, We Have To Pay.
Mr.
Meade, Welcome.
I'm Harmony.
Appropriate, Right? Totally My Real Name.
But You Are Not Here To Talk To Me.
Your Date Is Right Over There.
Thank You.
You Must Be 4-9-5-2-4.
Your Ideal Day Is A Picnic In The Park With The Kids? I'm Leaving.
No, I'm Leaving.
You're Not Walking Out On Me.
(Daniel) Wait.
Wait, Wait, Wait.
No.
Stop The Boat.
Oh! You Have Got To Be Kidding.
(Betty) Excuse Me.
Sorry.
Gotta Get To The Front.
Betty, Come On.
I'm With Them.
Sorry.
I Had To Pay The Cab.
Kimmie Keegan Plus Three.
I've Only Got You Plus Two.
Pick Your Friends.
Oh, Me.
Me.
Me.
Me.
We, We, We.
We.
(Amanda) Yeah.
How About Marc, Amanda And Me Go In And See If It's Even Worth Staying Here? Good-Bye.
Miss You.
But Well--Or Maybe Just Two Of Us Could Go In And Two Could Stay Out Here.
Don't Worry.
If It's Cool Then I'll Come And Get You.
Ten Minutes.
Um, Okay.
I Guess I'll Just Wait Here.
Oh, Okay.
All Right.
Why Are You Doing This Anyway? Excuse Me? There Are People Here Who Take This Really Seriously, Like Getting This Part Could Change Their Life.
I Don't Go Down To The Football Field Because I Feel Like Giving Ball Tossing A Try.
You're Just Mad I'm Good.
Doubt It.
This Is Good That's All You Got? (Scoffs) Not Bad.
All Right, But Not This Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
All Right, All Right.
Save It For The Stage, Okay? Group Four, You're Up.
Excuse Me.
Watch It.
Let's Go.
Those Guys Were Really Good.
Yeah.
I Think That Short Kid Was Actually Flying.
So Are We Ready To Get To Know Each Other? Watch It, You Two.
I'm Feeling The Tension.
What? I Can't Believe Wilhelmina Slater Uses A Dating Service.
Well, Marc Doesn't Fulfill All Of My Needs.
God Knows He's Given It The Old College Try.
Well, I Guess It Just Shows You Everyone Gets Lonely.
I'm Not Lonely.
I'm Horny.
Ahem.
Your First Course Is Oysters On The Half Shell.
They're An Aphrodisiac, Not That You Need One.
Now Can I Bring You Two Some Wine? Dear God, Yes.
Yeah.
Keep It Coming.
Hey.
They Went With The Short Kid.
Come Here.
They're Idiots.
"Billy Elliot" Is Dead To Me.
Yeah, Anybody Can Do That Silly Choreography.
You--You Make It Your Own.
(Snaps Fingers) Hey, Why Don't We Go And Get Some Ice Cream To Cheer You Guys Up? Okay.
I'm Gonna Get My Bag.
Meet You Outside.
All Right.
Are You Okay? Go Away.
Could You Pass The-- No.
I Hope You Didn't Fill Up Because You're Not Done Yet.
Why? How Many Courses Are There? Eight.
(Sighs) I Know.
I Have Got To Get Off This Boat.
You Can't Set The Boat On Fire.
Explosives Work Better, And We Didn't Plan Ahead.
Crap.
Wait.
Here.
Let Me Show You.
She's Coming.
Come On.
Act Casual.
Okay, Okay, Okay.
Don't Panic.
This Happens, Like, Every Other Cruise.
But Just As A Precaution, The Captain's Heading Back To Shore.
Aw.
Check Our Name.
(Man) Check Again.
Taxi! Betty.
I'm So Sorry It Took So Long.
Wait.
You're Not Leaving, Are You? Kimmie, I've Been Waiting Out Here For 45 Minutes.
I Mean, It's Been Fun, But I Think I've Had Enough.
But You Can't Go.
We Haven't Even Talked Yet.
(Scoffs) Kimmie, I Don't Understand You.
One Minute You're Like, "Hey, Let's Hang Out," And The Next You're Ditching Me And Sharing "Too Hard To Explain" Jokes.
Look, We Don't Have To Be Friends.
Just Don't Pretend We Are If We're Not.
No, No.
We Are Friends.
I Swear.
That's Why I Got Amanda And Marc In, So We Could Ditch Them.
Really? Yeah, Totally.
We're Getting Out Of Here.
I've Got Us Lined Up For Three More Clubs And A Couple After Hours.
Oh, I Don't Know.
What About Work Tomorrow? We'll Be Exhausted.
Not If We Go In Late.
Daniel And Wilhelmina Have A Meeting At The Design Studio Until Noon.
They'll Never Even Know We're Gone.
It'll Be Fun.
Getting Into These Places Is So New For The Both Of Us.
Let's Do It Together.
Come On.
We're Friends, Aren't We? Yeah.
Let's Go.
It'll Be So Much Fun.
I Will Never Forget.
Nico Was 4, And I Was Leaving For The Black And White Ball, And She Threw Up All Over Armani-- The--The Man, Not The Gown.
See, That's What I Want.
I Mean, Not That Exactly, But The Memories, The Perspective It Gives You.
I Know You Think You Have To Have Kids Right Away, But 2 Months With A 12 Year Old Is Not The Same As Having A Baby.
I Know.
So What You Should Do Is Take All The Time You Need To Prepare.
I Mean, Lords Knows I Screwed Up With Nico, Not Being Ready.
Well, Maybe You'll Handle Things Differently With This Baby.
I Hope So.
I Mean, It Wouldn't Hurt To Hedge My Bets And Try To Find A Partner.
Well, As Much As I'm Sure Me And The Baby And The Nanny Will Make A Happy Household, I There's Room For One More Person.
Yeah.
So Any Idea How The Hell We're Gonna Handle Things With Both Of Us In Charge? Well, I Hate To Admit It, But We Did Make A Good Team Tonight.
(Laughs) Yeah.
Maybe, Um, We Should Start Trusting Each Other.
No Offense, But I'd Say Trusting You Would Be Making A Rookie Mistake.
Touch? Perhaps We All Have Our Pasts To Overcome.
But Maybe With Time, You'll See That I Can Change.
Wait.
That's Not Your Building.
Um, I Called A "Buddy.
" While I Certainly Have Long-Term Goals, I Also Have Short-Term Needs.
H (Clears Throat, Coughs) Hello? Betty, Is Everything Okay? Daniel, What Time Is It? Uh, 10:00.
My Meeting Canceled.
(Gasps) Where Are You? Oh, My God.
I'm So Sorry.
I'll Be There In A Jif.
Actually, You Know What? Kimmie's Here.
Kimmie's There? She Can Cover For You.
Well, Can I Talk To-- I'm Here! I'm Here! I'm Here.
I'm Here.
I'm Here.
I'm Here.
I'm Here.
Betty, Look, There's Pictures From Us Last Night All Over The Internet.
That's A Picture Of You And My Elbow.
Yeah, But You Can Totally Tell It's You.
Hi.
Well, Here's One Bright Spot This Morning.
You Got "Mode" Onto "Page Six.
" We Haven't Been There In Ages.
Good Work.
Nice Of You To Join Us.
Well, I Darn.
You Got Cut Out Of That One.
Kimmie, What About Our Pact? Well, I Was An Idiot To Think That I Could Sleep In When You Have Total Seniority Over Me, So I Covered For You.
I Texted You.
Um, I Didn't Get A Text.
That's Weird.
I Sent One.
Nope.
No Text Here.
Well, It Must Have Gotten Lost.
(Christina) She's Lying.
I Should Have Known Something Was Up When She Ordered Me That Second Long Island Iced Tea.
Mm.
By The Way, Not Tea.
What Is She Trying To Do, Take Your Job? No Way.
She Would Never Want To Work That Hard.
Kimmie's Just Always Drawn Her Power From Making Me Look Bad So She Looks Good.
Ugh.
There's No Chance That Text Got Lost, Right? Well, I Texted You Five Times This Morning, And You Got Every Single One Of Those.
You May Have Graduated, But High School Never Ends.
Oh, My God.
Look How Tiny I Am.
You're Still Tiny.
Oh, I Know.
What Are You Guys Looking At? Oh, I Wanted To Show Them My Cheerleading Pictures, So I Brought In Our High School Yearbook.
Wait.
You Have To See This One.
(Gasps) (Amanda Gasps) Oh, My God.
Hello, Perm.
It's Like Someone Deep-Fried Your Hair.
(Gasps) And She's Wearing The Same Thing In Her Chess Club Picture As She Is Today.
Oh! Well, It Was A Rough Morning.
Then Or Now? Don't Worry.
I'm Embarrassed, Too.
I Mean, My Skirts Are Crazy Short.
(Amanda) Mm, So Short.
Hey, Betty, Since You're Up, Would You Mind Getting Me A Water, Please? Yeah, Sure.
(Amanda) Oh, God.
Betty, You Have Something On Your Skirt.
(Gasps) You've Got Something On Your Skirt.
Hmm? Not Again! (Gasps) What? What--What Are You Looking At? She Was-- About To Do That To Me.
She Did It Back In High School.
Tell Them.
They Called Me "Granny Pants" For Four Years.
I Thought We Were Friends.
We Are.
We Are Friends, Kimmie.
I Just Thought That-- I Thought That You Were Gonna I'm Sorry.
Come On.
La Perla? Hanky Panky.
Oh, They're Totally Hot.
Yeah.
Granny Pants.
Sexy Pants.
(Chuckles) ?? Hey.
Hey.
Bummer About The Audition, Man.
I Can't Believe They Picked The Short Guy Over Us.
Right? No One's Gonna Be Able To See Him.
Our Vocals Were Way Better.
And Our Dance Wasn't That Bad.
Well, You Were Kind Of Popping Your Hip.
Well, At Least My Jazz Squares Weren't Triangles.
Maybe We'll Hang Out Sometime.
Yeah, Uh, That'd Be Cool.
We'll Work It Out.
Okay.
Bye.
I've Got Your Lunch.
A Turkey Sandwich And A Slice Of Chocolate Cake.
Oh, Dessert.
Someone's In Suck-Up Mode.
Look, Daniel, I'm So Sorry About Being Late This Morning.
You Know That's Not Me.
Betty, Look, Your Night Out Wasn't Such A Bad Thing.
All Those Photos Of "Kimmie From 'Mode'" Are Great Publicity.
Really? Hey.
Didn't We Used To Have Someone Who Worked For Us Whose Job Was Just To Go Out And Get "Mode's" Name In The Tabloids? She Was So Great Until She Went To Rehab.
I Bet Kimmie Could Do That Job.
I Don't Know.
No, Look.
Look At How Many Clubs She Got Us Into Last Night.
I Have Never Seen Anyone Work A Room Like Her.
She Got George Clooney To Come To Our Darfur Benefit.
We Don't Do A Darfur Benefit.
We Do Now.
George Clooney's Coming.
I'm Telling You, Daniel, She Would Be Great.
I Guess A Little Buzz Never Hurt.
I'll Think About It.
Great.
Oh, My God.
I Almost Forgot To Ask You.
How Was Your Date? Uh, Well, It Started Out Rough, But It Ended Up In A Good Place.
Yay! Are You Gonna Go Out Again? No.
But I'll Probably Run Into Her Somewhere.
Now Moving On To The Elusive Center Spread.
Puppies Or War? We Want You To Know We Really Appreciate Your Hard Work.
We Assure You This Is All Gonna Be Settled Very Soon.
Well, Actually, It Is Settled.
It Is? Love Is A Battlefield.
I Think We Both Know How True That Is, And I'm Sorry That It Took Me So Long To See It.
We'll Ahem.
Get That Started Right Away.
Uh, One More Bit Of Good News.
Most Of You Have Had A Chance To Meet Kimmie Keegan By Now Or At Least Seen Her Photos On "Page Six.
" Whoo! From Now On, She's Gonna Make Sure That "Mode's" Name Is Associated With All The Coolest Events.
Wilhelmina And I Are Promoting Her To Associate Editor.
(Man) You Did It, Girl.
We Totally Knew.
Wow.
That's A Big Promotion.
Yeah, It Was Your Idea.
I Know, But Associate Editor? Well, If Kimmie's Gonna Be In The Public Eye, She Needs A Better Title Than "'Mode' Temp," Right? Besides, It's Just A Title.
It's Okay.
(Woman) I'm So Excited For You.
Thank You.
(Woman) We'll Talk To You Later, Okay? (Kimmie) Okay.
Kimmie.
Congratulations.
You're Perfect For This.
I Know, Right? I'm Gonna Need Some Coffee.
Half-Caf Sumatra Soy, I'm Not Kidding.
I'm Myself Again.
Ever Since You've Been Helping Me, My Confidence Has Been Creeping Back In.
I Should Thank You.
Oh.
But I Won't, Because I'm Popular, And Popular People Aren't Nice To Unpopular People.
It's Just The Natural Order Of Things.
I'm Still Waiting On That Coffee Granny Pants.
(Alexis) And What's It Going To Cost Me? I'll Convince Her To Split Her Shares, Sign Over Half To Daniel, Half To You.
You'll Both Be Editors-In-Chief.
Whatever Happens With You And Your Wife, I Can't Be Responsible For It.
They Can't Just Take Your Son.
(Daniel) He's Not My Son.
But I Want You To Be My Father.
Maybe I Can Be Your Really Cool American Uncle.
(Betty) That's Kimmie Keegan.
She Tortured Me In High School.
Aah! That's Your Daughter? I Don't Hate You.
I Just Feel Like Nothing's Ever Gonna Change.
You Just Have To Be Willing To Do Something About It.
(Man) Forward! (Man) Can We Get More Smoke In Here? (Woman) Look Up.
Look Up, Everybody.
We Need To See Some Faces, People.
All Right, I'm Not Loving This.
Oh, But You Promised Zac Posen.
I Know.
We'll Give Him A Couple Pages In Front Of Book.
One Bayonet, Please.
Oh, And I'm Worried About Shadows.
We're Gonna Lose The Helmet.
Okay.
Great.
I'll Go Disarm.
Oh! Miss Meade, I've Been Meaning To Talk To You, But With All The Craziness Of Doing These Photo Shoots Daniel's Way And Then Redoing Them Wilhelmina's Way And Then Back To Wil-- Betty, I Get The Pattern.
Well Has Daniel Said Anything To You About D.
J.
Being Gone? Not A Word.
Me Neither.
I'm Worried About Him.
He's Focusing All His Energy On Work.
He's Totally Avoiding His Feelings.
Well, On The Spectrum Of Our Family's Vices, Work Is A Lot Healthier Than Murder.
Hmm.
That's True.
Betty, You Have A Lot On Your Plate.
Let Me Take Care Of Daniel.
All Right.
Thanks, Guys.
(Gasps) Puppy! Where Did You Come From? What The Hell Is This? (Daniel) Love Is A Battlefield.
It's The Center Spread For Our Valentine's Issue.
I Thought We Were Doing Puppy Love.
No, You Were Doing Puppy Love.
I Didn't Like It.
Go Ahead.
We Can Start.
Oh, Because Nothing Says Romance Like Missing Limbs.
I'm On With The P.
E.
T.
A.
People About The Coat.
They're In An Uproar Because You're Wearing Dalmatian.
Oh, For God Sakes, It's Not Real Dog.
It's Rare Albino Leopard.
It's Rare Albino Leopard.
Get The Kids And The Puppies And Lose Those Soldiers.
Yeah.
Apparently.
No, I Am Not Letting You Walk All Over Me.
This Is The Shoot I Want To Do.
Kill The Puppies.
(Betty And Marc Gasp) Did You Hear That? Daniel Meade Kills Puppies.
Wilhelmina Slater Does Not Support Our Troops.
And Here Comes The Editor-In-Chief Argument.
In Case You've Forgotten, I Am The Editor-In-Chief Of This Magazine.
In Case You've Forgotten, I'm The Editor-In-Chief, Too.
Oh, Daniel! Every Time, For 20 Years I'm Not Gonna Do This With You.
I Want You To Leave My Set.
I've Worked On This.
I Have Brought This Magazine Up-- This Is My Set, Wilhelmina.
Okay, I Am Not The Editor-In-Chief Of This Magazine, But This Is A Disaster.
This Is About Setting Precedent.
Alexis Is Gone.
Wilhelmina And I Share Power 50/50 Now.
Okay, Daniel, But Wilhelmina Is Not Going To Budge, And Neither Are You, Which Means We Have To Do Everything Twice, But Nothing Is Actually Getting Done.
And Hey, Look, I-I Hate To Complain, But This Is Just More Work Than I Can Handle.
So What, I Should Roll Over To Make Your Life Easier? No, And I'm Not Loving The Attitude, By The Way.
I'm Just Saying Something Has To Change.
Well I'm Bored.
I'm In A Rush.
See, This Is A Perfectly Hideous Outfit You're Wearing, But I've Already Mocked It.
Where Am I Supposed To Find Job Satisfaction? I Don't Know.
Maybe Your Job.
Ugh.
There's Something At Your Desk.
Hello? Betty.
Thank God You're Here.
Kimmie? I Really Need Your Help.
Remember When You Came To Flushing Burger And Gave Me That Speech About How I Could Do Better? Uh-Huh.
Well, Turns Out I Can't.
I Quit My Job, And No One Wants To Hire Me.
My Boyfriend That I Hate-- He Cheated On Me With My Ex-Stepsister.
And I'm Having Pains In My Large Joints.
I Mean, Do You Think My Lyme Disease Is Coming Back? I-I Don't Know.
Look, I Would Love To Blame This All On You, Really, I Would, But Truth Is, My Life Has Been A Downhill Slide Into Suck Since High School.
I Mean, Back Then, People Would Applaud For Me When I Walked Into A Room, Betty, And What If That Doesn't Happen Anymore? You Get Used To It.
The Thing Is, You Seem To Have Everything So Together, And--And I Thought Maybe You Could Help Me Turn Things Around By Getting Me A Job Here.
Um, Gosh, Kimmie I Would Really, Really Like To Help You.
It's Just, You Know,There Aren't Really Any Openings Here And Sorry.
Betty, You Know, I Was Thinking About What You Said Earlier.
Things Really Are Crazy Here.
Why Don't You Get A Temp To Help You Out? Uh, That's Not Necessary.
Oh, My God.
Hi.
I'm Betty's Friend From High School, And We Were Just Talking About How I Should Maybe Work Here.
Perfect Timing.
Welcome To "Mode.
" Yes! Yes! I'm In Hell.
Oh, Is She Really That Bad? You Have No Idea.
When We Were In Junior High, She Had The Entire Student Body Calling Me (Whispers) "Pig Latin.
" (Laughs) (Normal Voice) Hey! Oh, Come On.
I've Had An Awful Lot Of Trauma.
For God Sake, Let Me Have My Laugh.
How Is Stuart Anyway? Oh, Perfectly Fine Until He Doesn't Want To Do The Dishes Or The Washing, And Then It's All, "Oh, I'm Dying.
I'm Dying.
" Christina.
Oh.
We've Decided To Act Like Everything's Normal.
It's The Only Way To Not Go Crazy.
So Come On.
Finish Telling Me About The Hateful Hellion.
Well, I Finally Make It To High School.
It's My Chance At A Fresh Start, But Kimmie Is There, Too.
Hi, Kimmie.
I Was Thinking, Since We're Both New Here And We Don't Know Anyone Else, Maybe We Could Sit Together? Fine.
Really? Oh, My God.
Okay, Great.
(Girls Laughing) Wait.
Since You're Up Already, Would You Mind Getting Me A Water? Of Course.
No Problem-O.
You've Got Something On Your Skirt.
Hmm? You've Got Something On Your Skirt.
And That's Why For Four Years, They Called Me "Granny Pants.
" Christina, I Have Worked Too Hard Just To Get The People At "Mode" To Almost Not Hate Me.
I Don't Want Her To Ruin That.
I Know, But You've Got All The Power Now, And Now It's Your Turn To Make Her Life A Misery.
I Don't Know About That.
It's Called Karma Granny Pants.
Yeah, Okay, Let's Not Make That A Thing.
That Was A Secret.
(School Bell Rings) So Apparently Another Billy Elliot's Voice Started To Change, And They're Casting For Three New Kids.
Mrs.
Read's Gonna Recommend Me For The Audition.
Wait.
You're Auditioning For "Billy Elliot" On Broadway? Yeah.
I Mean, A Blue-Collar British Kid From A Coal-Mining Town With A Flair For Dance? It's Like It Was Written For Me.
She's Gonna Call Me Tonight And Let Me Know.
Oops.
Loser.
(Boy Snickers) Too Easy.
I Am Sure This Happened To Patti Lupone.
He's Just A Stupid Jock.
Daniel Was Adamant.
He Wants The One On The Left.
But They Are Exactly The Same.
No, Wilhelmina Wants The One On The Right.
Welcome To My World.
I Got Most Of Your Receipts, But Wilmemina Wasn't In Her Office.
Great.
Oh, There She Is.
Oh, You Really Shouldn't It's Your Turn To Make Her Life A Misery.
Wait Too Long.
We Really Need Them.
Hey,Wilmemina,I Have To Get Your Receipts.
Oh, My God.
I Have That Same Jacket, Except I Got Mine At A Discount Store For 60% Off, And You Can't Even See The Hole Under The Armpit.
Marc? Scat! Wilmemina? 60% Off? I'm So, So Sorry.
That Will Never Happen Again.
Why Is She Even Talking To Me? Never.
I Know It's Mean, But It Kind Of Felt Good.
That Bitch Got What She Deserved.
And If The Tables Were Turned, She Would Have Done Something Way Worse To Me.
Tie That Skank To A Lamppost And Let Her Rot.
Um Okay.
What's Going On With You? Oh, I'm Trying Not To Be Sad About Coach, So I'm Choosing Anger.
It's A Great Release.
Aah! Yeah, She's Been A Delight.
You Know, Have You Ever Thought About Helping Kimmie Out? Dad, How Could You Say That? She Was Terrible To You At Flushing Burger.
I Would Totally Get Revenge On My Bullies If I Could.
Wait A Minute.
You Have Bullies? Why Didn't I Know About This? It's Nothing.
Well, It's Gonna Be Something When I Go Down There And I Kick Their Asses.
We're Talking About Betty.
Betty.
I Don't Understand Why I Have To Be The Bigger Person.
I Mean, When I Started At "Mode," No One Helped Me.
And Did You Like It? No, But I Dealt With It, Because That Is A Part Of Growing Up.
What? So Is Putting The Past Behind You.
If You Give Kimmie A Chance, Maybe You'll Find You're Not As Different As You Think.
What If We "Accidentally" Shaved Half Of Betty's Head While She Slept? That'd Be Something New To Mock.
It's Funny, But It Seems Like A Lot Of Work.
Yeah, And She Might Actually Look Better.
(Laughs) (Laughs) (Gasps) Temp.
(Gasps) Temp.
Oh, My God.
It's An Achy Breaky Tart.
Hey.
Hey.
(Gasps) Cute Tiny Backpack.
Do You Put All Your Tiny Scrunchies In It? I Do.
Oh, It's So Dope, Not '90s At All.
Oh, Great, Because I Was Worried.
You Know, I-I Haven't Bought New Clothes Since High School.
In My Old Job, We Used To Have Uniforms.
N.
I.
I Love My Job.
(Wilhelmina) Okay, People.
We Still Don't Have A Center Spread.
We Have A Lot Work Coming Up.
Whoa! (Easel Thuds) Oh! Sorry! Kimmie (Whispers) Why Don't You Go Get Some Waters For The Room? (Whispers) Okay.
Okay.
Wow.
Throw A Poncho And Sideburns On That Girl, She Could Be You, Betty.
Well, For Our First New Order Of Business, Fire That Train Wreck.
(Thud) Okay, Stop! (Gasps) Look, Sometimes When People Walk In Here, They Get Nervous And They Don't Do So Well On Their First Day Or Maybe They Make Regrettable Wardrobe Decisions That They Can Never Live Down.
Betty, I Know She's Your Friend, But You're The One Who's Gonna Have To Pick Up The Slack If She Can't Cut It.
Well, It Won't Happen.
I'm Gonna Turn Her Into The Perfect Assistant.
±¾×ÖÄ»½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½»Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌÒµÓÃ; ³óÅ®±´µÙ µÚÈý¼¾ µÚ5¼¯ ·Ò룺¸öÈËId У Ô£º¸öÈËId ʱ¼äÖ᣺¬ ±ó Working At "Mode" Is Intimidating, So I've Created An Acronym To Help You Remember The Three Most Important Things--A.
R.
G.
"Arg.
" Let's Start With "A"-- Anticipate.
Know What People Need Before They Do.
How Do You Know What They-- I Anticipated You Were Gonna Ask That.
Wow.
You're Good.
I Know.
Then There's "R"--Research.
Read Everything, Listen To Everything, Know Everything.
Everything? Did I Not Just Say Everything Three Times? For Example, Yesterday You Needed To Know That If You Need Wilhelmina's Receipts, You Never Ask Her For Them.
But You Told Me To.
Another Lesson--Be Careful Who You Listen To.
But Back To Wilhelmina.
Avoidance Is Key.
If You Screw Up With Her, You're Fired Or You Could Die.
There Have Been Rumors.
If You Need Something, This Is What You Do.
Wow.
It's Too Bad Daniel Can't Go To The Premiere For That New Colin Farrell Movie.
Colin Farrell? Oh, That's Right.
Amanda Mentioned You Liked Him.
What Do You Want? Wilhelmina's September Receipts.
Do I Get A Guest? If You Promise Me October.
All Right, On Your Desk In An Hour.
And That's "G"--Gumption.
Wow.
This Is Harder Than I Thought.
Well, Take A Deep Breath Because We're Just Getting Started.
Try Again.
Wilhelmina.
Wilmemina.
Wil-Hel-Mina.
Wilmemina.
* I'm Not Containable * I Ain't Freakin', I Ain't Fakin' This * Okay, Take It By The Handle And Press That Button.
Wil-Ah-Mina.
Wil-Mel-Mina.
Okay, There's An Easy Way To Remember This.
There's "Hell" In It.
Hell-Me-Mina.
What Is Wrong With You? Maybe This Was A Big Mistake.
No, No, No, No, No, No.
It's Not A Big Mistake.
Look, I Know That These Past Couple Of Years Have Been Really Rough On You, But You're Kimmie Keegan.
You Were Homecoming Queen And Prom Queen And President Of The Senior Class And A Cheerleader.
Head Cheerleader.
Head Cheerleader.
See? Now You Just Gotta Find That Confidence That You Had In High School.
Two, Four, Six, Eight.
Kimmie Keegan Used To Be Great? That's A Start.
You Are Really Stepping Up.
Oh-Ho, That Look On Wilhelmina's Stretched Face When You Refused To Give In To Her Shoot Was Priceless.
Since When Do You Eat Kids' Cereal? D.
J.
Turned Me On To It.
It Turns The Milk Blue.
Oh, I Also Found Some Of D.
J.
'S Things Around The House-- Baseball Cards (Scoffs) Lingerie Catalogue Oh, And Something Called "Street Wars Five: Revenge Of The Pimps.
" Actually, That's Mine.
I Know What You're Trying To Do.
I Don't Want To Talk About It.
Just Having My Morning Bowl Of Marshmallows.
What Do You Want Me To Say? I Miss Him.
When He Was Here, I Had M-More Balance.
It's Like The Stupid Things Didn't Matter Anymore.
Now All I Have Are The Stupid Things.
I-I Just--I You Just What? I Want A Family, Mom.
Well, That's Wonderful.
I Guess.
But What Am I Supposed To Do About It? The Women I've Been Meeting Aren't Exactly Life Mates.
I Mean, My Clock Is Ticking.
Your Father Conceived A Child After He Was Dead.
You'll Be Fine.
Very Good.
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, It's Good, But You're Still Popping Your Hip.
Hilda.
I Saw "A Chorus Line," Okay? Okay, Mom? Mom, I'm Going To Get Some Water.
Okay, But Don't Think That Means You Get An Automatic Bathroom Break In An Hour.
You're Riding Him Pretty Hard, Don't You Think? Maybe It's Time For You To Be Done With The Anger Phase.
No, No, No.
It's Not Anger.
It's Just I Really Want Him To Get This.
He's Having A Hard Time At School Lately.
Really? Yeah.
You Heard Him Talking About The Bullies.
Yeah, But I Didn't Think It Was Serious.
He Downplays It, But I Just Want Him To Have A Place Where He Fits In.
Okay.
I'm Ready.
From The Top.
Five, Six, Seven, Eight.
Hey.
So I Noticed Daniel's Cuticles Were A Little Rough.
I Heard The Beauty Editor Talking About This New Spa Where They Soak Your Fingers In Organic Olive Oil.
They Told Me No Openings Till March.
I Told Them No "Editor's Pick" In "Mode.
" Daniel Has An Appointment For Friday.
Well You Anticipated, Did Research And Showed Gumption.
Arg.
Arg.
You've Been So Amazing To Me.
I Have To Find A Way To Thank You.
Oh, It's Not Necessary.
Let's Go Out Tonight.
Really? I Was Updating Daniel's Contacts, And I Got Us Into All The Hot Clubs.
I've Tried To Get In Before, But It's Like They Could Smell The Bridge And Tunnel On Me.
But Tonight You And Me Are V.
I.
P.
I'm So Glad We're Becoming Friends.
Me, Too.
Could You Proof This? Sure.
Is This An Application For A Dating Service? Actually, It's A Discreet, High-End Matchmaking Organization.
I Thought It's Time I Got Serious About Meeting Someone.
And Since The Last Woman I Picked Ended Up Burning My House Down, I Thought I'd Trust The Professionals.
That's Wonderful.
Okay, You're Not This Tall.
Depends On The Shoe.
Keep Reading.
"Likes--Sports" Mm-Hmm.
"Women" Mm-Hmm.
"Yoga"? Yeah, I Took A Class.
Right.
"Walks At Sunset And Myself.
" Well, I Thought It Shows Healthy Self-Esteem.
Why Don't I Just Take A Quick Pass At This? Oh, Oh, By The Way, Do You Think We're Gonna Be Working Late Tonight? Uh, Probably Not.
Good.
Don't You Want To Know What I'm Doing? What Are You Doing, Betty? I'm Going Clubbing With Kimmie Keegan.
Yeah! Betty Suarez Is Going Clubbing With Kimmie Keegan.
Fun.
No, You Have No Idea What A Big Deal This Is.
In High School, She Wouldn't Even Give Me The Time Of Day.
And Now, I Mean, I Really Like Her, And She Likes Me.
You Know, It Just Goes To Show, You Can Get Over Your Past, Which Is A Great Lesson For You And Wilhelmina.
Go.
Going.
I Noticed You Like A Sugar Fix After Lunch, So I Brought You A Cookie.
You're Pretty.
I Just Assumed You Weren't Because You're A Friend Of Betty's.
Oh, Betty's The Best, Isn't She? I Mean, She Taught Me Everything About This Place.
I Can--I Can Collate, I Can Reduce, I Can Do Double-Sided.
I Officially Rock The Copy Room.
Okay, I Don't Know Where This Copy Room Is.
Look, Knowing Stuff Is Fine For Girls Like Betty, Who Don't Have Their Looks To Skate By On, But I Can Show You What's Really Important.
No.
Can You Believe This? It's So Exciting.
My Baby's On Broadway.
Okay, Ready? Smile.
(Scoffs) Mom.
Okay, I'm Gonna Go Sign In.
Okay.
Good Luck.
Hi.
(Whispers) Sit Down.
Sit Down.
What Are You Doing Here? What? I Thought I'd Give The Acting Thing A Try.
(Scoffs) Whatever.
My Mom Said I Could Only Play Football If I Did This.
(Woman) "A" Through "M," Over Here.
Checking Out The Competition? He Goes To My School.
Trust Me.
That Guy's No Competish.
They're Sending You On A Dinner Cruise Around The Harbor So You Can Get To Know Her.
I Still Can't Believe They Found Someone That Fast.
I Kind Of Wish I Had Time For That Olive Oil Manicure.
Right.
Well, Here's A Copy Of Her Profile-- Number 4-9-5-2-4.
She Is Smart, A Former Model, Loves Her Job And Her Idea Of A Perfect Day Is A Picnic In The Park With Children.
She Sounds Perfect.
She'll Think You're Perfect, Too.
Oh, Maybe Do Another Button.
The Other Way.
Ta-Da! Kimmie, Hi.
You Look So I Know, Right? Amanda Took Me To The Closet And Hair And Makeup.
I Mean, I Can't Believe We Can Just Use Those Things Whenever We Want.
We Can't.
Amanda Just Tends To Make Up Her Own Rules.
Oh, Got It.
Unfortunately, I Was Talking To Amanda About Us Going Clubbing Tonight, And She Said It Would Be Way More Fun If Her And Marc Came, Too.
No! It--It Wouldn't.
Okay, I Mean, I-I-- What Was I Supposed To Do? I Had To Invite Them.
But Tonight Is About You And Me.
So Don't Worry.
We'll Totally Ignore Them.
What Are You Guys Talking About? Okay, Does It-- Can I Open This? No, Too Dangerous.
But I Know Them.
One Time I Let My Girlfriend Open It.
She Was Shot.
Oh, My God.
On The Plus Side, I'm Single.
What Are You Laughing About? What's--What's So Funny? It's Too Hard To Explain.
You Could Try.
No, I Won't, I Won't.
You Could Try.
(Amanda) I Can't Even Explain It Like That.
I'm Pretty Smart.
You Know, You're Not Part Of Their Group.
Yes, I Am.
Oh, My God.
We Are Totally Here.
Guys.
Guys, We Have To Pay.
Mr.
Meade, Welcome.
I'm Harmony.
Appropriate, Right? Totally My Real Name.
But You Are Not Here To Talk To Me.
Your Date Is Right Over There.
Thank You.
You Must Be 4-9-5-2-4.
Your Ideal Day Is A Picnic In The Park With The Kids? I'm Leaving.
No, I'm Leaving.
You're Not Walking Out On Me.
(Daniel) Wait.
Wait, Wait, Wait.
No.
Stop The Boat.
Oh! You Have Got To Be Kidding.
(Betty) Excuse Me.
Sorry.
Gotta Get To The Front.
Betty, Come On.
I'm With Them.
Sorry.
I Had To Pay The Cab.
Kimmie Keegan Plus Three.
I've Only Got You Plus Two.
Pick Your Friends.
Oh, Me.
Me.
Me.
Me.
We, We, We.
We.
(Amanda) Yeah.
How About Marc, Amanda And Me Go In And See If It's Even Worth Staying Here? Good-Bye.
Miss You.
But Well--Or Maybe Just Two Of Us Could Go In And Two Could Stay Out Here.
Don't Worry.
If It's Cool Then I'll Come And Get You.
Ten Minutes.
Um, Okay.
I Guess I'll Just Wait Here.
Oh, Okay.
All Right.
Why Are You Doing This Anyway? Excuse Me? There Are People Here Who Take This Really Seriously, Like Getting This Part Could Change Their Life.
I Don't Go Down To The Football Field Because I Feel Like Giving Ball Tossing A Try.
You're Just Mad I'm Good.
Doubt It.
This Is Good That's All You Got? (Scoffs) Not Bad.
All Right, But Not This Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
All Right, All Right.
Save It For The Stage, Okay? Group Four, You're Up.
Excuse Me.
Watch It.
Let's Go.
Those Guys Were Really Good.
Yeah.
I Think That Short Kid Was Actually Flying.
So Are We Ready To Get To Know Each Other? Watch It, You Two.
I'm Feeling The Tension.
What? I Can't Believe Wilhelmina Slater Uses A Dating Service.
Well, Marc Doesn't Fulfill All Of My Needs.
God Knows He's Given It The Old College Try.
Well, I Guess It Just Shows You Everyone Gets Lonely.
I'm Not Lonely.
I'm Horny.
Ahem.
Your First Course Is Oysters On The Half Shell.
They're An Aphrodisiac, Not That You Need One.
Now Can I Bring You Two Some Wine? Dear God, Yes.
Yeah.
Keep It Coming.
Hey.
They Went With The Short Kid.
Come Here.
They're Idiots.
"Billy Elliot" Is Dead To Me.
Yeah, Anybody Can Do That Silly Choreography.
You--You Make It Your Own.
(Snaps Fingers) Hey, Why Don't We Go And Get Some Ice Cream To Cheer You Guys Up? Okay.
I'm Gonna Get My Bag.
Meet You Outside.
All Right.
Are You Okay? Go Away.
Could You Pass The-- No.
I Hope You Didn't Fill Up Because You're Not Done Yet.
Why? How Many Courses Are There? Eight.
(Sighs) I Know.
I Have Got To Get Off This Boat.
You Can't Set The Boat On Fire.
Explosives Work Better, And We Didn't Plan Ahead.
Crap.
Wait.
Here.
Let Me Show You.
She's Coming.
Come On.
Act Casual.
Okay, Okay, Okay.
Don't Panic.
This Happens, Like, Every Other Cruise.
But Just As A Precaution, The Captain's Heading Back To Shore.
Aw.
Check Our Name.
(Man) Check Again.
Taxi! Betty.
I'm So Sorry It Took So Long.
Wait.
You're Not Leaving, Are You? Kimmie, I've Been Waiting Out Here For 45 Minutes.
I Mean, It's Been Fun, But I Think I've Had Enough.
But You Can't Go.
We Haven't Even Talked Yet.
(Scoffs) Kimmie, I Don't Understand You.
One Minute You're Like, "Hey, Let's Hang Out," And The Next You're Ditching Me And Sharing "Too Hard To Explain" Jokes.
Look, We Don't Have To Be Friends.
Just Don't Pretend We Are If We're Not.
No, No.
We Are Friends.
I Swear.
That's Why I Got Amanda And Marc In, So We Could Ditch Them.
Really? Yeah, Totally.
We're Getting Out Of Here.
I've Got Us Lined Up For Three More Clubs And A Couple After Hours.
Oh, I Don't Know.
What About Work Tomorrow? We'll Be Exhausted.
Not If We Go In Late.
Daniel And Wilhelmina Have A Meeting At The Design Studio Until Noon.
They'll Never Even Know We're Gone.
It'll Be Fun.
Getting Into These Places Is So New For The Both Of Us.
Let's Do It Together.
Come On.
We're Friends, Aren't We? Yeah.
Let's Go.
It'll Be So Much Fun.
I Will Never Forget.
Nico Was 4, And I Was Leaving For The Black And White Ball, And She Threw Up All Over Armani-- The--The Man, Not The Gown.
See, That's What I Want.
I Mean, Not That Exactly, But The Memories, The Perspective It Gives You.
I Know You Think You Have To Have Kids Right Away, But 2 Months With A 12 Year Old Is Not The Same As Having A Baby.
I Know.
So What You Should Do Is Take All The Time You Need To Prepare.
I Mean, Lords Knows I Screwed Up With Nico, Not Being Ready.
Well, Maybe You'll Handle Things Differently With This Baby.
I Hope So.
I Mean, It Wouldn't Hurt To Hedge My Bets And Try To Find A Partner.
Well, As Much As I'm Sure Me And The Baby And The Nanny Will Make A Happy Household, I There's Room For One More Person.
Yeah.
So Any Idea How The Hell We're Gonna Handle Things With Both Of Us In Charge? Well, I Hate To Admit It, But We Did Make A Good Team Tonight.
(Laughs) Yeah.
Maybe, Um, We Should Start Trusting Each Other.
No Offense, But I'd Say Trusting You Would Be Making A Rookie Mistake.
Touch? Perhaps We All Have Our Pasts To Overcome.
But Maybe With Time, You'll See That I Can Change.
Wait.
That's Not Your Building.
Um, I Called A "Buddy.
" While I Certainly Have Long-Term Goals, I Also Have Short-Term Needs.
H (Clears Throat, Coughs) Hello? Betty, Is Everything Okay? Daniel, What Time Is It? Uh, 10:00.
My Meeting Canceled.
(Gasps) Where Are You? Oh, My God.
I'm So Sorry.
I'll Be There In A Jif.
Actually, You Know What? Kimmie's Here.
Kimmie's There? She Can Cover For You.
Well, Can I Talk To-- I'm Here! I'm Here! I'm Here.
I'm Here.
I'm Here.
I'm Here.
I'm Here.
Betty, Look, There's Pictures From Us Last Night All Over The Internet.
That's A Picture Of You And My Elbow.
Yeah, But You Can Totally Tell It's You.
Hi.
Well, Here's One Bright Spot This Morning.
You Got "Mode" Onto "Page Six.
" We Haven't Been There In Ages.
Good Work.
Nice Of You To Join Us.
Well, I Darn.
You Got Cut Out Of That One.
Kimmie, What About Our Pact? Well, I Was An Idiot To Think That I Could Sleep In When You Have Total Seniority Over Me, So I Covered For You.
I Texted You.
Um, I Didn't Get A Text.
That's Weird.
I Sent One.
Nope.
No Text Here.
Well, It Must Have Gotten Lost.
(Christina) She's Lying.
I Should Have Known Something Was Up When She Ordered Me That Second Long Island Iced Tea.
Mm.
By The Way, Not Tea.
What Is She Trying To Do, Take Your Job? No Way.
She Would Never Want To Work That Hard.
Kimmie's Just Always Drawn Her Power From Making Me Look Bad So She Looks Good.
Ugh.
There's No Chance That Text Got Lost, Right? Well, I Texted You Five Times This Morning, And You Got Every Single One Of Those.
You May Have Graduated, But High School Never Ends.
Oh, My God.
Look How Tiny I Am.
You're Still Tiny.
Oh, I Know.
What Are You Guys Looking At? Oh, I Wanted To Show Them My Cheerleading Pictures, So I Brought In Our High School Yearbook.
Wait.
You Have To See This One.
(Gasps) (Amanda Gasps) Oh, My God.
Hello, Perm.
It's Like Someone Deep-Fried Your Hair.
(Gasps) And She's Wearing The Same Thing In Her Chess Club Picture As She Is Today.
Oh! Well, It Was A Rough Morning.
Then Or Now? Don't Worry.
I'm Embarrassed, Too.
I Mean, My Skirts Are Crazy Short.
(Amanda) Mm, So Short.
Hey, Betty, Since You're Up, Would You Mind Getting Me A Water, Please? Yeah, Sure.
(Amanda) Oh, God.
Betty, You Have Something On Your Skirt.
(Gasps) You've Got Something On Your Skirt.
Hmm? Not Again! (Gasps) What? What--What Are You Looking At? She Was-- About To Do That To Me.
She Did It Back In High School.
Tell Them.
They Called Me "Granny Pants" For Four Years.
I Thought We Were Friends.
We Are.
We Are Friends, Kimmie.
I Just Thought That-- I Thought That You Were Gonna I'm Sorry.
Come On.
La Perla? Hanky Panky.
Oh, They're Totally Hot.
Yeah.
Granny Pants.
Sexy Pants.
(Chuckles) ?? Hey.
Hey.
Bummer About The Audition, Man.
I Can't Believe They Picked The Short Guy Over Us.
Right? No One's Gonna Be Able To See Him.
Our Vocals Were Way Better.
And Our Dance Wasn't That Bad.
Well, You Were Kind Of Popping Your Hip.
Well, At Least My Jazz Squares Weren't Triangles.
Maybe We'll Hang Out Sometime.
Yeah, Uh, That'd Be Cool.
We'll Work It Out.
Okay.
Bye.
I've Got Your Lunch.
A Turkey Sandwich And A Slice Of Chocolate Cake.
Oh, Dessert.
Someone's In Suck-Up Mode.
Look, Daniel, I'm So Sorry About Being Late This Morning.
You Know That's Not Me.
Betty, Look, Your Night Out Wasn't Such A Bad Thing.
All Those Photos Of "Kimmie From 'Mode'" Are Great Publicity.
Really? Hey.
Didn't We Used To Have Someone Who Worked For Us Whose Job Was Just To Go Out And Get "Mode's" Name In The Tabloids? She Was So Great Until She Went To Rehab.
I Bet Kimmie Could Do That Job.
I Don't Know.
No, Look.
Look At How Many Clubs She Got Us Into Last Night.
I Have Never Seen Anyone Work A Room Like Her.
She Got George Clooney To Come To Our Darfur Benefit.
We Don't Do A Darfur Benefit.
We Do Now.
George Clooney's Coming.
I'm Telling You, Daniel, She Would Be Great.
I Guess A Little Buzz Never Hurt.
I'll Think About It.
Great.
Oh, My God.
I Almost Forgot To Ask You.
How Was Your Date? Uh, Well, It Started Out Rough, But It Ended Up In A Good Place.
Yay! Are You Gonna Go Out Again? No.
But I'll Probably Run Into Her Somewhere.
Now Moving On To The Elusive Center Spread.
Puppies Or War? We Want You To Know We Really Appreciate Your Hard Work.
We Assure You This Is All Gonna Be Settled Very Soon.
Well, Actually, It Is Settled.
It Is? Love Is A Battlefield.
I Think We Both Know How True That Is, And I'm Sorry That It Took Me So Long To See It.
We'll Ahem.
Get That Started Right Away.
Uh, One More Bit Of Good News.
Most Of You Have Had A Chance To Meet Kimmie Keegan By Now Or At Least Seen Her Photos On "Page Six.
" Whoo! From Now On, She's Gonna Make Sure That "Mode's" Name Is Associated With All The Coolest Events.
Wilhelmina And I Are Promoting Her To Associate Editor.
(Man) You Did It, Girl.
We Totally Knew.
Wow.
That's A Big Promotion.
Yeah, It Was Your Idea.
I Know, But Associate Editor? Well, If Kimmie's Gonna Be In The Public Eye, She Needs A Better Title Than "'Mode' Temp," Right? Besides, It's Just A Title.
It's Okay.
(Woman) I'm So Excited For You.
Thank You.
(Woman) We'll Talk To You Later, Okay? (Kimmie) Okay.
Kimmie.
Congratulations.
You're Perfect For This.
I Know, Right? I'm Gonna Need Some Coffee.
Half-Caf Sumatra Soy, I'm Not Kidding.
I'm Myself Again.
Ever Since You've Been Helping Me, My Confidence Has Been Creeping Back In.
I Should Thank You.
Oh.
But I Won't, Because I'm Popular, And Popular People Aren't Nice To Unpopular People.
It's Just The Natural Order Of Things.
I'm Still Waiting On That Coffee Granny Pants.