UnREAL (2015) s03e05 Episode Script

1 I have to say, you're not what I thought you'd be.
RACHEL: August slept with Quinn.
She asked me not to say anything to you.
I am so sorry, Serena.
You deserve the truth.
You know what? From here on out, I'm only dealing with Rachel.
It worked like a charm.
She loathes me and loves you.
Whoa, whoa! Who bets on women? [CHUCKLES.]
You're kidding.
It's the only reason I'm here.
If we met in the real world I'd get your number.
And I'd, um, ask you out.
I'm hard on you because I'm trying to help you.
You're trying to cut to the front of the line with Gary.
And I promise you, that is not going to end well.
If you want to earn real power and respect, be your own woman.
Not somebody else's bitch.
Okay, here's the deal.
I'm pitching a show with Quinn called "Passport to Dance," and you're gonna be the star of it.
If I say yes, you'll bring me more? Yes.
- I'm Rachel Goldberg.
- Oh, my God.
You ever even think about what you did to me? Every time I look in the mirror.
Your father came that night, and he beat the crap out of me.
What are you talking about? My father never even knew about what happened.
- Of course he did.
- It's not.
Because if my father knew, he would've said something to me.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
If my father knew [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
[LINE RINGING.]
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
[BEEPS.]
Oh, my God.
Rachel.
Where are you? Are you Are you safe? Yeah.
- I haven't heard from you in months.
All right, look, Mom, I'm just calling.
Is, um Is Is Dad there? 'Cause I've been trying to call his cellphone, and it's just been going straight to voicemail, so Oh.
He keeps losing it.
Probably not even charged.
Okay, so, what? The only way to get ahold of my father now is to go through you? - Is that a problem? - Where is he? He's, um He's lying down.
He's not feeling well.
That's right because he never feels well, does he? What is that supposed to mean? You know you keep him drugged up, Mom.
Can you just tell him I called? Well, I can't give him a message if I don't know what it is.
Okay, well, the message is "Your daughter called.
" [BEEPS.]
And action.
You know, when I first walked into this mansion, I thought to myself, "Man, this is perfect.
" And then it hit me like a Boom! Like a light bulb going off in my head.
We need a ceremony.
What we need is for a girl to get cut.
- Cut! - That was amazing.
Okay, so, I'm gonna tweet that out from your account.
- Oh.
- I'm gonna put a clip on Instagram so that everyone at the fund-raiser sees how much - you deserve an Emmy.
- We [CHUCKLING.]
Oh! What are you do What are you doing? [CHUCKLING.]
Hey.
Oh, what [LAUGHS.]
Uh, yeah, you know what? See, uh I It's just that, uh, I Technically speaking Yeah you know, I-I-I need my little blue buddies in order to get things going down there.
- It's nothing personal.
- Yeah.
I understand.
[LAUGHS.]
You're amazing.
Hey, uh, Simon, Simon, here.
Uh, walk with me, okay? - What's up? - I am taking you off of Rachel.
You're working with the guys now.
What? No, Quinn, Quinn, we've been making real progress, okay? It's crucial we continue our sessions here.
Mhn.
Nope.
I deal in facts, and fact she's way worse since she started talking to you.
Well, there's always bumps in the road.
- That's part of it, right? - Your job was to stabilize her.
Yeah, and we're moving in that direction.
Okay, she crawled into my lap last night.
And we don't touch each other.
So, as far as I'm concerned, you failed.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
QUINN: Okay, people! So, uh, Jay and I are headed to L.
A.
to pitch a show today.
That means I am leaving "Everlasting" up to you.
- Rachel, you'll be running point.
- Oh, um, no.
Actually, I kind of wanted to talk to you about taking a personal day.
Uh, this is not the day.
You know, I'd totally be up for running point if Rachel isn't.
- Oh, great.
- No.
No way, okay? Not after the dumb-assery that you pulled with the reporter.
You are grounded.
House duty.
Rachel will be fine.
Besides, she knows how important this pitch is for me.
Don't you, Rachel? [DOOR OPENS.]
Hey, uh, Quinn.
I need to talk to you.
You have a hammock emergency? [CHUCKLING.]
Okay, fine.
In my office.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- Okay, what the hell were you thinking talking to me in front of my staff? Look, I'm sorry, but we've got a problem here.
Serena knows.
She was ice cold to me at the last ceremony.
That's so boring and so sad.
Quinn, this is serious.
You created the situation, so you need to fix it.
Wow.
I didn't notice those brass balls when we were getting nasty, and yet there they are.
Look, normally it wouldn't come to this, but if I have to go down the sexual harassment route, I will.
- Excuse me? - I'm just saying, if I get outed in any way, then I out you.
Got it.
- I will shut it down.
- Good.
DR.
SIMON: Did you talk to Quinn? About what? She wants us to stop working together.
- She's putting me on the guys.
- Yeah, okay.
- Well, that makes sense.
- No, it doesn't.
There's, like, 27 cameras pointed at them at all times.
- I'm not worried about the guys.
- Thank you.
- I'm worried about you.
- Oh, no, listen, you don't have to be.
I'm fine.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You're the one who came to me with a pretty heavy admission.
Yes, I know.
And you have been super helpful about it.
I really appreciate it.
I am Look, I'm just handling it myself.
What does that even mean? QUINN: Rachel! In my office.
Now.
Rachel? I have to.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- Hey, look, I'm good.
I know you took Simon off me, but No.
Your "date" just got more complicated.
Take this.
We have to destroy August.
He thinks he can threaten me? Look, we do not negotiate with terrorists.
Okay, Quinn, what happened? I need you to take him down before he takes me down.
Make sure that no one believes a word that comes out of his mouth.
Today, our suitress will forge into the wilderness.
And at the end of the trail, Serena will select the one man that she trusts the most for our very first overnight date of the season in our famous Date Cabin.
There will be challenges, of course of navigation, I can't even stand to look at August's face right now.
I want to cut him, but I need an excuse.
Don't even worry about it, all right? I got you covered.
To help guide you through the wild is Ranger Pam.
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Pam.
Your first challenge is to get Serena safely across this raging river.
Ranger Pam? I mean, those were supposed to be my lines, Rachel.
On your marks! Get set! Go! - Ah! - August, what are you doing? That's one way.
Quinn King and Jay Carter to see Gary.
He's expecting us.
Sure, have a seat.
- Come on.
- So, what are you thinking? You want to run it through one more time, or No.
Just keep your mouth shut and follow my lead.
It's gonna be fine.
Stomped right into it.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
- Now, I wanted a chance to talk to you.
- I don't think so.
- Serena, I'm really trying.
- Yeah? Well, don't.
- Come on, Owen! - Hey, yeah! - You got this! - Come on, you can do it! - [WOOD CRACKING.]
- [GRUNTS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
- Wow.
- Thank you.
Come on, guys.
- He'll see you now.
- Oh.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Weren't we here first? You told them we were here, correct? Of course.
Do you need some help? Let me help you.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- Well done.
- Good on you, man.
- Very impressive.
- Ah.
All right, now it's the race to the Date Cabin.
Due East! Now we're running.
Great.
He's cute.
Would you two like another water? I am about to piss myself as it is.
Is there a problem? I'm sure they'll be right with you.
Hey, Owen the boy scout's in the lead.
[CHUCKLES.]
Congratulations, Owen.
I stopped to pick some wildflowers.
Oh.
That's for you.
- Thank you, gorgeous.
- Well done.
You okay, Jasper? - Fine.
Just a coup - [LIGHT LAUGHTER.]
Serena, have you made your decision for the overnight? I have.
Um, you all showed very impressive survival skills today, especially you, Owen.
Now, the person that I would trust most through the night is - Jasper.
- What? - Really? - Yeah.
I'm a sucker for an underdog.
- Great.
- Well, Jasper won the date, so the rest of you gentlemen will be here roasting wienies and drinking beer and having a bonfire! [CHUCKLES.]
Hey, you look like the brawn of the group.
Could you come and help me split some wood for the fire? Uh, yeah, no worries.
- Country house? - Yes.
It's gorgeous.
It's been in the family since, like, the 1700s, I think.
- Mm.
- Jeremy, Jeremy.
All right, guys, beers and wienies this-a-way.
[SINGSONG VOICE.]
Beers and wienies.
- AUGUST: [CHUCKLES.]
Whoa.
- PAM: Come on, August.
- Come here.
- What the hell is going on? Serena! I have no idea, all right? - She just jumped me.
- [LAUGHTER.]
That seems to keep happening to you.
No, you've got to believe me, I don't even think she's a real Ranger.
- I swear.
- I have no reason to believe a word that comes out of your mouth, August.
- I am so sorry, Serena.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- This is just appalling.
- Don't worry about it.
Let's go.
Oh my God, did Rachel just set that whole thing up? Yep.
Probably got that "Ranger" off of Craigslist on the drive over here.
That's the show.
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
Hey.
You're Charlie right? Yeah.
Hi.
Hi.
I'd I'd stay away from that if I were you.
I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to cause a problem.
I'm not jealous or anything.
I'm just, uh, trying to help a sister out.
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
That was great, really, really great.
[SIGHS.]
I am so sorry.
- No problem.
- Gary had a thing which went long, and it's just not gonna happen today.
You're joking, right? No.
But here's the good news his associate Lenny will absolutely hear your pitch - if you would like.
- Uh, well [LAUGHS.]
I would not.
Get your stuff.
I have made this network hundreds of millions of dollars.
And Gary can't respect me enough to show up for a pitch? Um look, I don't know.
- I'm just - No.
You tell Gary that until he has time for me, "Everlasting" is officially shut down.
- Quinn, I-I - No.
Because, and write this down, word for word There is some shit I will not eat.
Period.
Come on, Jay.
[SIGHS.]
Jesus.
- Unbelievable.
- [CELLPHONE VIBRATES.]
They're really going for it.
Quinn? What are you saying? I-I get terrible service here.
I said to shut it down! I'm saying cut the cameras! - Bring the cast home.
- [CELLPHONE RINGING.]
Quinn, we're in the middle of the date.
I mean, she's like literally in there making out with Jasper, and you have got to see what I've got on August.
- I do not care.
Do it! Pull the plug! - Hold on.
All right, that's a wrap, guys.
MAN: Cut! Cut! Cut! [BOTH LAUGH.]
We're pulling the plug.
Seriously? - Go home.
- Shit.
I missed the call.
I'm serious.
Go home.
Madison, what the hell is going on over there? - We're shut down.
- That is the last straw with Quinn.
You hear me? Heads are gonna roll! Stop working! I want you to make a list of all the people loyal to Quinn so I can fire them first! Well, what's going to happen to the show? That stupid show could make itself.
You know, it's actually a little more complicated than it seems.
Please focus, all right? I need you to help me - with the transition here.
- Oh, my God.
Are you promoting me to showrunner? God, no.
I'm gonna get one of the guys from the competition shows.
Right.
I mean, I guess that makes the most sense since I'm gonna be so busy with "Hashtag Adulting" soon.
With what? - My pilot.
- Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Honey, that is definitely still in the mix, okay? But listen to me.
Buckle your seatbelt because this is war.
[BEEPS.]
[GLASS BREAKING.]
So, uh, we are shut down due to some technical difficulties.
You guys will just be confined to your rooms - until we come get you.
- I am just like, "Mnh-mnh.
" Guys, let's just say good night.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- Good night.
- Good night.
So, you, uh you set up August so I'd have a legitimate reason to cut him? - No comment.
- Mm.
Well, if you were to have done that, thank you.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
[CELLPHONE VIBRATING.]
Rachel.
Rachel, hey, stop! - What? - We are having this out right now.
What do you want to have out, huh, your your sex addiction? 'Cause, you know, there's places you can go - for things like that.
- Oh, my God! Cut the crap.
- Rachel that woman was a setup.
- What? Now, I spoke to Quinn this morning, and I warned her.
You guys were supposed to protect me.
Okay, look, dude, I cannot protect you from yourself.
You started this whole thing the second you couldn't control your urges and you put your dick inside of Quinn.
- My urges? - And you want to know something? - Here's a life lesson for you, okay? - Oh, what is it? Here it is No one protects anyone, okay? So just deal with it.
What's up, doc? Funny.
Just, uh checking in on you, man.
- You know? - Making sure you're doing okay.
I don't really do shrinks, so You need a battery? Lens? Look, uh, I know last season was pretty heavy.
And Rachel said some things.
What did she tell you? It's privileged.
You know Rachel says a lot of things, - not very many of them true.
- I think she's trying to correct that.
Right, the the whole Essential Honesty thing? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
I'm sure that, uh, she thinks she's telling the truth.
I wouldn't believe a word out of her damn mouth.
Eh, I don't know.
She and I have a pretty good relationship.
She trusts me.
So I'm just trying to get some insight from someone who knows her, so I can be of more help.
- [LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
- What? She got to you, too.
What does that mean? It's the 'Rachel Vortex.
' Many a man has been sucked in by that tiny, dark force.
So I've heard.
Look, I am literally just doing my job.
Yup.
So was I.
- You shut the show down? - I called his bluff.
- Ohh I reminded him of the stakes.
Whatever.
He'll fold.
He's gonna call me any minute to apologize.
Quinn, look, it's 6:30.
It's, like, way past end of business.
- What if he doesn't call? - Gary doesn't joke around, okay? He destroys people for fun.
I've never seen him bluff, not once.
- [SIGHS.]
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
Good.
Fine.
Let him fire me.
He thinks he can make "Everlasting" without me? - Let him try.
- Uh-huh.
And what about your empire? I will find another one.
Well, in that case, if we really are shut down, do you mind if I take the night off? Where the hell are you gonna go? I dunno.
Maybe I could get, like, a massage or something.
You know, everyone keeps telling me to take better care of myself so Hmm.
That's fine.
But leave your phone on.
Will do.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIGHS.]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING.]
[EXHALES SHAKILY.]
Hi, baby.
[SIGHS.]
How'd your pitch go? It literally could not have gone worse.
Oh, boo.
I know what you need.
Come.
Feast.
[CRIES.]
- You're home.
- Yeah.
I am.
[SIGHS.]
[TAPPING ON WINDOW.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
- What the hell are you doing here? [LAUGHS.]
There are [WHISPERING.]
There are cameras everywhere.
Yes, there are, but the show is shut down.
Do you think they'd ever turn off the security cameras? - No.
- There are ways around it, though.
- Are there? - Yes.
You could, uh, meet me in my room in five minutes.
- Should I? - Yeah.
[KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
QUINN: What are you doing? Nothing.
I was I just I had to check something.
You're a snake, Madison.
And I think it's about time you gave me some venom.
I don't know what that means.
It means that I am pretty sure that in all the dick sucking you've done, you've uncovered some state secrets that could help save my ass and yours.
My ass is just fine.
[LAUGHS.]
Right.
So, you think that Gary is going to protect you through all of this? Then you're even dumber than you look, because Gary is going to take whatever information you're about to give him and clean house, your bony ass included.
[DOOR CREAKING.]
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
So, what do you got, snake? I did steal the password to his e-mail.
Perfect.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Oh.
My God.
Rachel.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Dad, um - Hi.
I've been trying to reach you.
'Cause I need to talk to you.
Okay.
Sure.
Come on in.
What's going on? This is the mother lode.
- It's bad, right? - It's so, so bad.
You do understand that if we do this, your pilot is dead.
Gary is never picking it up.
I'm more than one pilot.
I'm betting on you.
I want you to bet on me.
Good.
Then make the call.
[BEEPS.]
[LINE RINGING.]
Hey, Gary.
Yeah, she's here.
No.
She doesn't suspect a thing.
Great.
I'll see you in an hour.
- Okay.
- [BEEPS.]
[LAUGHS.]
I'm the one that should be pissed.
I killed every stupid challenge today, and Serena still ended up with that Wall Street douchebag who's just here to collect on a bet.
Bet? What are you talking about? Jasper's here on a bet.
If he's the first one to sleep with Serena, he gets $400,000.
You're kidding me.
Well, who else knows? Uh, handful of the guys, some producers.
Dad, we really do need to talk about this.
No, you know what? I'm just gonna make you a sandwich.
If you knew this whole time, why didn't you say something? Hmm? Why didn't you do something? I did.
[SIGHS.]
I hated the work your mother was doing.
And I hated the fact she was doing it in our home.
[SIGHS.]
[REFRIGERATOR DOOR CLOSES.]
You know, the day it happened, you were home from school, sick, and, uh, I told your mother she had to cancel.
[SIGHS.]
She said if I wasn't paying the bills, then it wasn't my place to make that call.
Okay.
So she cut off your balls.
[SIGHS.]
I went to the guy's house, Rach.
I kicked the crap out of him.
Then I was ready to kill him.
And I was also ready to call the police.
- Why didn't you do that? - Because your mother She just kept saying it would be the best for you not to have your name dragged through the courts, - not to have the world know about.
.
- 'Cause she's a sociopath, Dad.
Serena, I need you to know that I think you are just incredible.
I have, from the first night.
God, it's funny.
Usually with guys like you, I wouldn't trust a word that came out of your mouth.
But for some reason, I trust you.
I didn't know what to do.
And I-I felt helpless.
You felt helpless? I mean, really? I knew you were in pain.
- She said she was handling it.
- No, Dad.
She was medicating the shit out of me! I I knew I had failed as a father, as a man.
[TEARFULLY.]
I found myself on the top of a bridge, looking down.
And I thought, "What's the point?" If I can't protect my own daughter, I honestly thought you'd be better off without me.
And then your mother Well, she got to me just in time, Rach, honestly.
And she put on lithium.
And it calmed me down.
- Dad, it numbed you out.
- No, Rach, I needed it.
Believe it or not, your mom saved me.
No, Dad, she just got you to stop feeling and talking.
To me, you know, to, like, anybody.
The woman is a monster.
I'm, like, so sorry.
You have nothing to be sorry about.
No, I do.
I lied.
I told the guy that I was 17.
Oh, stop! There is no excuse for what he did to you! None.
Dad, we have to get you out of here.
We have to.
I mean, the problem is her.
The problem is not you.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Come on.
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
[SQUEALS, LAUGHS.]
[BOTH LAUGH.]
We're just, um We're just gonna - Oh, no.
- Don't worry, Dad.
Don't even worry about it.
I got it.
Just keep Just put the stuff in the truck, okay? Come on.
You got this? Rachel? What the hell's going on? I'm just getting my father away from his jailer.
And if you follow us, I'm gonna go to the police.
- Asa, you can't do this.
- I'm gonna tell them everything.
Asa, you know this.
You are an unethical psycho.
Dad, get in the car.
- Please.
- She's my child.
No, no, please don't go.
No.
Stop it! - Please.
Asa! - Stay away! - Asa, please don't go! - Stop! - Stop! You stop! - You stop it! Okay? This all stops, today.
- No, Asa, please.
- This all ends today.
Please don't go.
Please.
Asa, please.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[CRYING.]
[TIRES SQUEALING.]
Uh, can we get everybody gathered into the great room, please, everybody, crew included? - Have a seat, guys.
- Come on, everybody.
This is gonna be very exciting.
I warned you, Quinn.
You know, I'm glad everyone's here because this is it.
You are fired.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Ooh.
- Yeah, now let me tell you - what's gonna happen.
- Actually, let me tell you what's gonna happen.
You're gonna pick up "Passport to Dance" straight to series.
And you're gonna give us a primo prime-time slot.
You know, I'm thinking Sundays at 8:00.
What in the hell are you talking about? I am talking about you being fired front page of Variety, forensic accounting, kicked out of Hollywood forever kind of fired.
[SCOFFS.]
What the hell do you two idiots know about forensic accounting? I know that you've been hiding "Everlasting's" international profits stealing $18 million from me and Chet to cover your own ass on losses on your other pathetic shows.
These are wild accusations without any proof.
I could have you sued for slander.
Well, then you probably shouldn't have put it all in an e-mail, Gary.
That's a legal document.
That's impossible.
I have a secure server.
[CHUCKLES.]
Everybody does it.
You know, it's like a studio system secret handshake.
But not any more, Gary.
So, you are going to get the hell off my back for the rest of the season.
Carte Blanche.
Then we can start with "Passport to Dance," but I'd like to have four shows in active development by the end of the year.
And as far as ever implying that I am a dried-up hag aging my way out of the industry you might want to drop that narrative and admit that I own your ass now.
What am I supposed to say to that? You're supposed to say, "Thank you for the opportunity, Quinn.
" I'm serious, Gary.
Thank you for the opportunity, Quinn.
[INDISTINCT MURMURING.]
You're welcome.
She's such a ball-buster.
Has she always been this bad or has she gotten worse? Much, much worse.
Oh, we should really get going if we want to make that French Laundry reservation.
- The French Laundry reservation.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why don't you go ahead and I'll meet you there? - I gotta do some stuff.
Some show-biz stuff.
- Oh.
Show-biz stuff.
Okay.
All right.
Bye, babe.
Bye.
Oh! - [DOOR CLOSES.]
- What you just did with Gary.
I am so hard for you right now.
I'm, like, rock hard.
- Feel this.
- No.
Okay.
Come on, Chet.
That's disgusting.
No pills.
I haven't been this hard for years.
Good for you, okay? But that is Crystal's job now, not mine.
- I need you right now, Quinn.
- What? No.
What? No, no, no, no.
Chet, get off of me, all right? Go home and screw your blow-up doll.
[SCOFFS.]
I miss you, Quinnie.
I miss you a lot.
I know.
But you chose easy.
Okay.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
- ASA: You want me to take that? - RACHEL: No, no.
I can carry it.
We're just gonna head over Hey, what are you doing in there? Oh.
I was just looking for you.
I was worried.
I hadn't seen you since the shutdown.
Hi, I'm Dr.
Simon.
Uh, this is my father, Asa Goldberg.
- Pleased to meet you, sir.
- Nice to meet you, too.
Okay, uh, Pop, why don't you head on in? - In here? - Yeah.
[LAUGHING.]
Okay.
- What's the plan here, Rachel? - Uh, well, it's late.
So we're gonna camp out till I figure out my next move.
Okay.
We're camping out.
Rachel.
- What? - What is this? What are you doing? DAN: Jay, Rachel, we need you on set right now.
Okay, okay.
Can you, um Can you just, like, stay here for a little while? Just for a little bit.
Just, like, keep an eye on him.
- I'll be back as soon as I can.
- An "eye on him?" Rachel, what am I walking into here? Nothing.
I mean, look, you said you wanted to help me.
So, this is the help I need.
Hey, Pop, I'll be right back.
Okay.
Asa.
How you doing? Cherry blossoms are manly.
I want more.
Thank you.
Quinn.
What's happening? We sold our show.
Straight to series.
- What? How? - Sundays at 8:00.
- Are you serious?! - Congratulations, partner.
And we are back in business, people! I need Serena ready and on set in 20.
Hey.
Hey.
[CHEERING.]
Whoa.
August, what are you doing here? - Serena, please, just hear me out - Get out of my room! Listen, just please just give me one minute, please.
Look, I know I screwed up colossally but you need to know the thing with the ranger that was set up, okay? Oh, yeah? Was Quinn a setup, too? Uh Quinn cornered me, okay? And I understand I'm getting cut tonight.
That's okay, but I really I just wanted to say goodbye.
And I wanted to make sure that you have all the information you need to make decisions that are actually gonna make you happy.
What does that mean? Jasper's here on a bet.
He gets $400,000 if he's the first one to sleep with you.
No.
You're f No.
Yeah.
Good evening.
Gentlemen, what a harrowing day in the wilderness, when one of our own was caught betraying our suitress.
Graham, just please just stop.
- What? - I have an announcement to make.
Mnh.
This isn't gonna be a normal ceremony.
[SCOFFS.]
From this moment forward, the only rules are the rules that I make.
I told you that I was serious about finding someone to spend the rest of my life with.
But it seems like many of you are treating this like a sick and cruel game.
I don't know who's lying or who's telling the truth, so I've decided that I'm not cutting any of you tonight.
What? Wha Ugh.
- This girl is a pain in my ass.
- I'm too overwhelmed and pissed off and I am going to bed.
So that's how you saved your ass, huh? She had the right to know.
Yeah.
And you had to be the hero to tell her, huh? Serena! Stop! What the hell do you think you're doing? I told you going to bed.
No, you have to cut someone, okay? There are contracts and schedules and budgets all based on this elimination structure.
Oh, yeah? Well, unless you want to put your hand up my ass - and puppet my mouth, it's not happening.
- Don't tempt me.
Ah, Serena.
Wait.
I really need to speak to you.
Oh, what, about the bet? Yeah, I know all about it.
By the way, you lost.
I slept with the jockey night one.
- [DOOR SLAMS.]
- Ohh.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Okay.
Did you just hear his balls drop? I did.
I heard a little "clink, clink.
" It is Ah! - [LAUGHS.]
- Oh! Yes! [CHEERING.]
To Jay Bartholomew Carter, who, as of today, has his very own television show.
That's right! Applause, applause.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- All right.
I am so glad that you don't have a life because you are going to be sleeping at work for the next two years.
Cheers.
Whoo-hoo! Yes! - [CHUCKLING.]
Cheers! - Cheers.
Mm.
You know what? We haven't been dancing in forever.
So what do you say that we take this party to the club? I got to get going home, Quinn.
I'm sorry.
- I've got someone cooking me dinner.
- What? Yeah, and I-I have all of this paperwork that I, like I love you guys.
Congratulations.
Super happy for you.
- Mazel tov to everybody! - And thank you.
[SMOOCHES.]
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'd be down to go to the cluuuub.
[CHUCKLES.]
I just changed my mind.
But thank you for today, Madison.
You picked the right team.
- You're welcome.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Ah, no.
Too soon.
Okay.
[SIGHS HEAVILY.]
But, you know, I'm sorry.
I'm just curious, though.
If you were going to go to a club, where would you go? I don't know, maybe Vixen? - Okay, cool.
- RACHEL: Hey, guys.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How's it going? - Good.
Thanks.
Your friend, Dr.
Simon here, is very inquisitive.
Oh.
Can I, uh, speak with you outside for a moment? Okay.
- Rachel.
- Hmm? You cannot be serious about weaning your dad off of lithium - here on his own in a grip truck.
- Okay, listen.
Trust me, he should have never been on those meds in the first place.
I can promise you that his depression is situational.
It is not chemical.
And that could all be true, but withdrawing from lithium no joke.
We're talking tremors, flu symptoms, mania.
I understand.
That's exactly why I have him here So I can keep an eye on him.
- And besides, there's a medic 24/7.
- [SIGHS.]
- Rachel - No, listen, I've done this for myself.
All he really needs is some good sleep and some B vitamins Vitamims? Rachel, this is lithium! I cannot recommend or endorse this Okay, well, you don't have to.
Look, I have to do this.
Everything that has happened to him is my fault - No, it's not - So I need to be the one to fix it.
This is what my dad wants.
[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
Um [LAUGHS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
- WOMAN: Quinn King?! What? - Is that Fiona? - [LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
What the hell? You look great.
All right, I got it, dude.
I got it.
Come here.
I can't.
It's so What the hell are you doing here? Why are you in the Bay? I'm selling a V.
R.
company I was running.
That sounds fancy.
What the hell have you been doing with your life? I never see you out.
You're not on social media.
That's because I'm running the show.
I don't know I guess I just I just thought you'd be, you know, in a big corner office in Beverly Hills by now.
Surprised you're still in the trenches.
You know, actually, I made $9 million today.
[STIFLED LAUGH.]
Today?! Well, why aren't you out spending it? [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know.
- I don't know.
- Here.
- To $9 million.
- [CHUCKLES.]
To $9 million.
Okay, babe, I'll be right home.
- Hey, Jay.
- Hey dude.
I gotta go.
Xavier has a very late dinner waiting for me.
Yeah, the so-called boyfriend, love whatever.
- Uh-huh.
- But I need more cocaine.
What? - Mm-hmm.
That eight ball was supposed to last you a week! [GIGGLES, SNORTS.]
It didn't.
You are killing me here, okay? You're about to be a star, okay? We have got to get you clean and sober and ready to carry a show a huge show.
Oh, my God, I cannot do this.
- All right, come here.
- What are you doing? - What are you doing? - Relax.
Come here.
I need more magic poof poof.
You understand? Alexi, dude, I've got Xavier and this isn't Listen to me.
You give me something, I give you something.
[UNZIPPING.]
Oh, dude [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[MOANING LIGHTLY.]
And now, we are really camping.
Hey, I really I really like your cabin, by the way.
Well, it's a falling down crap shack, but I'm hoping to buy it soon.
I was driving through Oregon.
I turned this bend and I just I don't know I just, like, knew I had to be there.
It's super cheap 'cause there's no electricity or anything, but, I mean, there is a well Yeah, I can help with electricity.
Really? I used to be very handy, you know.
[LAUGHING.]
That's good to know.
[CHUCKLES.]
Maybe we could put your pottery studio out back.
You'd want me to come with you? Yeah.
I think it could be really good.
You know, for both of us.
I just want you to be happy, Rach.
I am, Dad.
Yeah, I really am.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
I'm falling asleep.
I got to shut down.
Good night, sweetheart.
I love you, Rachel.
I love you, too.