Upload (2020) s03e05 Episode Script

1
- [AI GUY] Morning.
- [GRUNTS]
Hey.
Would you ever want
to see the Grey Zone?
It's neat and fun and cool.
That does sounds neat and fun and cool.
But I'm not allowed off the map.
Ah, that's a problem.
But I could turn my
avatar into an object
that can pass through the hedge,
and then I can turn myself back.
Watch this. [EXCLAIMS]
Why a coconut?
First thing that came into my head.
- Hmm.
- Your hands are so warm.
Shut up.
Huh.
[PHONE RINGS]
Oh, it's Aleesha.
Don't say anything.
Hey, friend-o. How was the retreat?
Hey, don't call me friend-o.
Your girl kicked ass.
So much ass that Karina gave
me a special project today.
Uh, who's-who's Karina?
She's head of product
development and cybersecurity.
She is so fucking cool.
Hmm. She sounds like a moron.
Well, she's not. You sound like a moron.
- Hello, teacher.
- Shh.
What was that?
Hmm? Oh, nothing.
I'm just, um I'm watching a TV show.
It's called Hello, Teacher.
It has a little sting that
they put underneath title card.
What happened to theme songs, you know?
I used to love those things.
Anyway, I-I got to go,
but I'm so happy for you. Yeah.
You're really going
places, huh? [CHUCKLES]
Thanks, friend-o.
Where are you?
You know, I c
- She's nice.
- Shut up.
You don't have to keep doing the dishes
just 'cause you're staying here.
Actually, Nathan did them today.
Oh.
Hey, you know, if
you're feeling cramped
No, no, you're our
new plaintiff liaison.
The partners would kill
me if I kicked you out.
[NATHAN] Angel. I-I
mean, uh, Nora. Holden.
Bruno got into my pills.
Oh, shit.
How hardcore are these things?
Hopefully hardcore enough
to keep a guy's head
- from exploding.
- What? Oh, okay.
I got to get him to the vet.
- Come on.
- Oh, man. I'm sorry, Holden.
Sorry, Bruno.
And we need to get you
to a doctor right now.
I-I still have five left, okay?
Eight, if I ignore the slobber.
- I'm serious.
- I know, I know, but I feel fine.
Well, you didn't tell
me about the nosebleeds.
You didn't tell me Holden's your ex,
but you'd tell me if you thought
your head was gonna blow up?
[PHONE RINGS]
[SIGHS] It's Luke.
Of course.
Fine, answer it.
[SIGHS] Hey, man. Where are you?
Oh, thank God, buddy. I'm in trouble.
I brought an AI to the Grey Zone.
I was gonna sell him to
this gangster named Zalán,
but I felt too guilty.
Um, just before we do this,
what use do you have in mind for him?
"Him"? That's an "it."
I want to go now.
An it
with valuable subroutines
that I'm going to examine,
dismember,
and sell to the highest bidder.
That's not fun. That's not cool.
That's not neat. That's not neat.
Yeah, I think I'm going
to hold on to him for now,
but thanks anyway. [CHUCKLES]
[ZALÁN] Uh, no. It's mine now.
It stays.
- Okay. [LAUGHS]
- Luke, help.
Understood.
- It stays.
- Help.
[EXCLAIMS]
[SHOUTS]
Run, AI Guy.
[YELPS]
No, dummy, get out of here.
Shit.
[LAUGHS]
[GRUNTING]
[NATHAN] Okay. Okay, okay.
Tell me exactly where you are.
I'm gonna come save you.
Hello? Luke?
This is he.
Who are you Is that me?
Oh, shit.
♪
What the fuck's going on
here? Why are there two of me?
I don't know. No time.
I'm in the Grey Zone,
big warehouse south of Lakeview.
Just Oh, shit, someone's coming.
Okay, we're coming to get you.
I'm sorry, "we"?
I'll explain when I see you.
How do you know more than me?
Hey, did you see that?
- I think I've been copied.
- What? That is so crazy.
Do you think this is
identity theft? Or the Ludds?
[GASPS] Could this be from that
magazine shoot I did years ago?
I had a stalker, babe.
Oh, God. Who would
Who would copy you?
What kind of a sick,
sick freak would do something like that?
I don't know, but we're
gonna find out soon.
Copy's on his way here.
Oh.
You wouldn't know anything about this
as the account holder, would you?
Did I know Oh, oh, uh
Uh, uh [GROANS]
[SPEAKING STILTEDLY]
I'm going through a tunnel. BRB.
Aren't you in a tub?
- Nope, it's a tunnel.
- Ingrid
[SIGHS] All right, I'm
gonna use your headset
to get my backup and save Luke.
You can't. Dupe detection.
The system won't let
two of you in Lakeview.
Even if I'm just an avatar?
I wouldn't risk it.
He could be erased.
Shit. Okay.
Okay, new plan: You get the backup,
meet me in the Grey Zone.
I'm gonna get a headset at the library.
Two Nathans. One Nora.
Never fantasized about this before.
[SIGHS]
[NATHAN BACKUP] One sec.
- Tinsley?
- No, it's it's me, Nathan.
I'm back.
Nora.
Oh, my God. Um
All right, how do I
know it's really you?
[SIGHS]
I think you can tell.
Wow, um
I can't believe I'm looking at you
- and it's actually
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've actually done
this thing before, so
I tried to contact you.
Um, yeah,
I know, it's-it's all good.
I'm, um, back with Ingrid.
Yeah. Yeah, I was with someone, too,
and then it didn't work out.
We, yeah, we're both at fault.
This is the weirdest
day. Someone cloned me.
Isn't that crazy?
I will tell you all about that,
but right now, we don't
have a lot of time, so
Hold on, you know about the clone?
Nathan, it's Walk and talk.
- Just walk and talk. All right.
- Okay.
What is that?
Yeah, it's cool, right?
I-I don't need it, it doesn't
actually hold that much.
It's more of a fashion thing.
- Okay.
- It was a gift.
I mean, everyone here likes
it, but whatever, so
Take it, leave it?
What's-what's in there?
Uh, hair gel, body spray,
tweezers. My indispensables.
You know what? It's fine.
I'll leave it. I'll
leave it, I'll leave it.
- Great.
- Yeah.
It's fine.
Hi.
Welcome to our little secret experiment.
Is that who I think it is?
It's a clone of the actor
we based AI Guy on.
Never eat on a set.
That's how we got his DNA.
Lil Leeshy, we're gonna
take machine learning
to the next level.
Imagine how fast the
program will improve
after a human experience
in the real world.
You're downloading the AI into a clone?
Won't his head explode?
Hasn't happened so far.
The AI program is a
million gigs of information,
and the human brain
holds 2.5 million gigs
Don't talk unless we ask you a question.
Your job, as mission control,
is to help him walk from the
regen center on 9th Avenue
to Shawn Carter General
Hospital for reupload
into the AI system.
[ALEESHA] Ten New York City blocks?
[KARINA] Mm-hmm.
I know this AI guy,
and he does not have
that New York spirit.
Yeah, but you do.
Twenty bucks she bricks it
in the first ten minutes.
Did you pass your driver's license
test the first time, Leeshy?
Driver's license? What am I, 50?
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
Oh, the smells.
They're so intense.
Dog at three o'clock.
Pet him.
Hey.
- Gentle.
- [DOG BARKS]
Ow!
That lady's therapist bit me.
Just shake it off, buddy.
Now, let's head east.
This is going so well.
I mean, he's learning
at a fantastic pace.
This is gonna help him understand
his clients so much better.
[HONKS]
[SCREAMS]
Fuck.
- [LAUGHS]
- Can we sew that leg back on?
Oh, no worries. We've got more clones.
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[ALEESHA] Okay.
Let's try this again.
Ugh, what are those smells?
So intense.
Yup, that's New York City.
Now, head east.
Uh, look both ways, motherfucker.
Yes, teacher.
- Ah.
- Yes!
[LAUGHTER]
Hmm.
So, how much does the copy know?
That you and I were in love once,
and that we still
Uh, yeah.
I am in a relationship
with him, actually.
You're with him.
Yeah. And you're with Ingrid.
Yeah, yup, sure.
Yeah, hold on a second.
Is that why you haven't
answered my calls in months,
because you've been sleeping
with my body the whole time?
Oh, well, I mean, I
wouldn't call it sleeping.
I don't know if I should be jealous
or give myself a high five.
Oh, definitely give
yourself a high five.
Jealous it is.
So you've seen me without my clothes?
Okay, what do you think?
Give me some feedback.
Be specific.
[WHIMPERS]
[SIGHS]
Share to my socials.
No more VR, starting now.
Fake-ass people in
their fake-ass realities.
On a goggle cleanse.
Send.
Yeah.
No likes? Really?
Okay.
Call Mersaydeez.
Ew. Who dis?
It's Ingrid. [CHUCKLES]
Kannerman.
OMG, Ingrid. I thought you died.
[LAUGHS] What?
What? That is weird.
I don't [CHUCKLES]
I don't even know how
you would think that.
Rumors are wild.
Well, how are you, you hot bitch?
Amazing,
except my boyfriend
is a fucking traitor.
But why be unsatisfied by a man
when I can hang out
with one of my girls?
[LAUGHS]
Oh, my God, please tell
me it's not Nathan Brown.
Oh, no. What? Ew, gross.com. [CHUCKLES]
I am not an idiot.
Ugh, good. Stupid wannabe tech mogul.
His shit was never going anywhere.
Eh, I mean
Yup.
Come with me to HorseyButt.
You can build your ass and your soul
while you sweat out
those nasty feelings.
That sounds amazing, actually. Yes.
K-Town studio. I'll drop a pin.
Bye.
Okay. I will be th
You are gone. Okay.
- [PHONE DINGS]
- Okay, okay. Okay.
[ALEESHA] How you feeling out there?
Hot. I'm gonna, I'm gonna
change the temperature.
[SHOUTING IN PAIN]
No, stop looking at the sun.
[SCREAMING]
Watch it, Ed Sheeran.
Run.
- [CRIES]
- Run right now.
I hate this. Help.
Watch out for the mailbox.
- [CLATTERING]
- Ouch.
[GROANING] Oh, God.
[PANTING]
All my systems malfunctioning.
I'm leaking
everywhere.
It's called swamp
ass. Catch your breath.
It'll pass.
Okay.
I'm okay.
Yes.
Success.
Excellent work.
[MOCKING] "Excellent work."
[CLEARS THROAT]
I mean, I agree,
it was more than adequate.
Mm.
Yeah.
Books contain information
which can be different
from, or even contradict,
the opinions you currently hold.
Before you use this library,
you acknowledge
possible exposure to
uncomfortable facts.
Accept.
In virtual reality,
you may meet AI-generated characters
who will try to sell you a time-share
Accept, accept, accept, accept.
[SIGHS]
I'm actually kind of
nervous to meet my knockoff.
Yeah, about that [CHUCKLES]
That-that one is the original.
You're the knockoff.
- I'm the knockoff?
- Sorry.
- I'm the knockoff?
- Yeah.
I'm the knockoff?
Okay, are-are you glitching?
Actually, I think I am.
Wow.
This is a real bummer.
I'm the knockoff?
So dramatic.
Wow.
What am I thinking right now?
That this is weird.
This is weird.
Why are you parting your
hair on the other side?
I'm not. You are.
- You are.
- Okay, you both look normal to me.
If you're really me, what happened
in seventh grade with Demi Ziegler?
Wait, what?
Did you guys touch a boob? Just grow up.
What? No, her dog died.
And I we carried
it to the vet for her.
Oh. Sorry.
Well, we better go save Luke.
Make up a dance. Whatever
comes to the top of your head.
[LAUGHS] Oh, man,
we're perfectly in sync.
Okay, you're both off beat,
if that's what "in sync" means.
This isn't weird, this is awesome.
- Whoa!
- Oh, shit,
Luke's being tortured.
We got to go save him.
- I was just thinking that.
- I just said that.
[SIGHS]
Uh
Okay, Luke said he was south.
South is this way.
Is it?
I would normally side with you,
but look at that face.
That's a face of a guy
who knows what he's doing.
[GROANS]
Okay, you guys,
you go save Luke, and I'll go get
some more of your pills from the doctor.
- Pills?
- Oh, yeah, no big deal.
Just to keep my head
from exploding. Hopefully.
I'll see you later.
Love you.
- Love you, too.
- Love you, too.
- Uh-uh, no.
- As soon as I said it.
Also, it's definitely this way.
Really?
[SIGHS]
- Hey.
- Oh, hey. Oh, how'd it go?
Oh, he's fine, thank God.
They're just keeping him
until his stomach settles.
The vet scanned the pills,
and they turned out to just be Gas-X.
- Wait, really?
- Yeah. Here, see for yourself.
Why would the doctor give Nathan
over-the-counter fart pills?
Mm. It's not like he doesn't need them.
I've got to figure this out.
- Um, I'll catch you later.
- Okay.
[EXHALES]
So Nora.
Yeah. What about her?
[CHUCKLES] What do you
mean, "what about her?"
You guys are together. So, how is it?
You know, just normal
relationship stuff.
Ups and downs.
Uh-huh.
You don't have to
spare my feelings, okay?
How is it? For real.
It's like I'm exactly
where I'm supposed to be.
Great.
Sorry, that must be tough to hear.
No. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Super happy for you.
[GRUNTS]
Who the fuck put that there?
[ALEESHA] Oh, he seems to be
interested in that charging station.
I wonder if his mind will come up with
some new improvement in sustainability?
Hey, teacher?
Yeah?
I think I need to charge my plug.
Plug? What plug?
He doesn't have a
Oh, God.
What? What's he referring
[CREAKING, CLANKING]
Oh
Oh, wow, he is really going to town.
Jesus.
[LAUGHING]
Uh, okay.
Let's, um [CLEARS THROAT]
turn this off and
No, please, no.
give him a little privacy.
Thank you.
[LUCY LAUGHING]
Oh, oh. Sorry, sorry.
I'm touring a house.
[SHRIEKS] Hey, Mami.
[INGRID SHRIEKS] Oh, my God.
Yay.
We're IRL.
Oh, I've been spending way
too much time in my goggies.
Yeah, I didn't want to say anything,
but you look rough.
[CHUCKLES] Wow.
Okay, Mersaydeez, I don't
really need that right now.
I have been living in
my bathtub for so long,
I'm about to have a menty-b.
So brave of you to talk
about your menty health,
but class is about to start.
[CHUCKLES] Ok-Okay.
Talk later, I guess.
So, Ingrid still doing that
thing where she dresses you?
Maybe.
[CHUCKLES]
You got something to say?
Are you okay? Do you need help?
I-I know what it's like to feel trapped.
No, no. I'm-I'm great, okay?
And Ingrid, Ingrid is
awesome. Maybe she just needed
a real man to bring it out of her.
Real? You're not even real.
You're like a week old, okay?
Everything that you
know or think you know
is because I did it, not you.
Shit, I'm sorry. I
didn't mean it like that.
Whatever.
Okay, let's just save Luke,
and we'll go our separate ways.
Also, I like my clothes
better than yours.
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT PLAYS]
Wow. The last time I
was in the Grey Zone,
- none of this was here.
- Yeah, I know.
I was here, too. Used to be wide open.
Now it's all getting paved over.
[BOTH] Gentrification.
Oh, look. Check this out.
I have an idea how we can save Luke.
Me, too. First step:
- Matching outfits.
- Matching uniforms.
Pretty close.
[ALEESHA] What the hell is that?
Oh, we made those.
It's called the NIMBY-nook.
They cover up unsightly you know.
- Oh.
- [CRUNCHING]
- Hey, hey, hey.
- [YELPS]
You just stepped on my lunch, asshole.
Oh, I'm so sorry, sir.
I did not see it there.
Uh, tell him, "Have a nice
day," and keep walking.
So, what you doing out here?
- [GROANS]
- [MAN] What do you think?
I live here.
On the street?
Who programmed this world?
[MAN] You never seen any of this before?
You from the suburbs?
No, but I've seen the 2Gigs,
and it is not pretty. Or fair.
[GROANS] The sun is too bright here.
Here.
An AI guy with empathy.
Amazing.
Yeah, except that hat was
our only way of tracking him.
- Every little bit ♪
- [HORSES NEIGHING]
Every little bit of my heart ♪
- Every little bit ♪
- [INSTRUCTOR] Giddyup, ladies!
Every little bit ♪
- [FEET STOMPING]
- [FARTING]
[INSTRUCTOR] Ladies, giddyup.
- [WHISPERING] God.
- [FARTING]
[INSTRUCTOR] Whoa! Everybody, whoa!
- [LAUGHS]
- [GROANS]
Oh, my God, that was so much fun.
We def have to do this again.
Oh, wait, wait.
We didn't We didn't even talk.
Look, we both know you're
gonna do what you always do.
Go back to Nathan.
Ingrid, I love you,
but your loyalty is your
absolute worst quality.
It's gross.
Wh uh, wow.
You know what? Actually,
it's my best quality.
And, for the record,
the only gross thing here
were your super loud queefs.
[SCOFFS]
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
Hello, my good man.
We're, uh, Disney Eternity's
latest, cutting-edge,
unreleased AI. I'm
Prince Eric Concierge.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- And I'm Prince Eric Lifeguard.
We're here to make a trade.
Down here.
We heard Zalán's in
possession of a U.S. Armyman.
Brown hair, rescue mutt vibes,
best taken in small doses.
You AI want my fan boy?
You came.
[ZALÁN] AI, eh?
Interesting.
But first, I need an opinion.
What do you think of his fan boy outfit?
It's, uh, surprisingly sexy.
Yeah, he's being objectified,
but he's owning it,
which is subversively
empowering in a way. Thumbs-up.
Frauds. No Disney AI
would ever approve of an
unlicensed Star Wars IP.
So who are you, and what
are you trying to pull?
'Cause you ain't no AI.
Thank you for trying.
I love you both so much.
No, fine. Okay, we're not AI.
Just give me my friend back,
- and you can have this guy.
- Wait, what are you doing?
He's a backup, a copy.
A brilliant coder who's
completely off the grid.
Okay? A-A-A stupid mistake
who won't be missed.
What the hell? You fucking traitor.
Enough.
The soldier's useless anyway.
I'll take the hunky coder
in the sweet fanny pack.
No!
Don't touch him! Keep me!
Uh, is Dr. Kapoor in?
Dr. Kapoor? No, honey, just me.
Mrs. Ethel Waitebraithe.
I live here by myself.
What? I I was just
here last week, so
I've lived here for many years.
No Dr. Kapoor here.
Well, here, come in
to Ethel Waitebraithe's house.
Uh, you know what? Um
Sorry for wasting your time.
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[AI GUY] Miss Kannerman,
welcome back.
Thank you. It's good to be home.
Should I let Mr. Brown know you're here?
Um, no rush.
I'll just see him when he's ready.
Because I will be here.
I'm not going anywhere.
Oh, you
You're talking to
other people. [CHUCKLES]
That's fine.
[SIGHS] That's fine.
I think I pulled
something in HorseyButt.
Hey, you, Miss?
Can we talk?
Call Nathan. Aw, shit.
[GROANS] I had two Nathans in my grasp,
and I lost one.
Infinite possibilities, gone.
I could've been the cream
- in the middle of a Nathan Hydrox.
- Ew.
This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.
Dude, you lost your legs in a war.
- [SIGHS] This is worse.
- [SCOFFS]
At least that other Nathan
was just some cheap knockoff,
- but still.
- What took you so long?
Time was up at the library.
I had to listen to
the disclaimers again.
Wait, what?
I'm the, uh,
cheap knockoff.
I traded real-life Nathan to Zalán.
Then I popped off my goggles
and disappeared into the real world.
Fuck. Shit.
[LAUGHS]
So, about the "cheap
- knockoff" thing
- It's okay, buddy.
- It's fine.
- Oh, my God.
Hey, Backup.
- That was a pretty damn good plan.
- Thanks.
"Backup." I like it.
- You can't call him that.
- You can't call me that.
Fine, whatevs.
Uh, the Three Musketeers.
- No.
- No.
Okay, what about the-the Chipmunks?
Right? I call Alvin.
Oh! Uh
Oh, shit.
[PANTING]
[ALEESHA ECHOING] Nora?
Nora, can you hear me?
Welcome to Upload.
You made it to Lakeview,
you lucky duck.
♪
♪