Warehouse 13 s03e05 Episode Script

Previously on Warehouse 13 Artie says that H.
G.
Wells is actually a A woman.
I was apprenticed at Warehouse 12.
Then who is H.
G.
Wells? My brother, Charles, was the writer.
I supplied the ideas.
My machine allows your mind to inhabit the body of someone in the past.
We're in 1961.
Uh-huh.
Check it out, we're Jack and Rebecca.
Oh, I do beg your pardon.
Best mind where you're walking, gov'ner.
Morning lights can play tricks on you.
Yes, yes.
Mustn't be late.
Oh, weren't we supposed to meet at the observatory? Your note said you found the perfect sort of I say, what the devil is Police! Here you are mister blue-winged warbler.
Doug Varley, you've done it again.
I have to check you off my life list.
Oh, mmm.
Would you like some whipped cream for your pie? Oh, naughty, naughty.
Mmm.
What? The power's out and the banana cream pie goes bad.
I didn't eat the crust, just the healthy part.
You got to ride in the cherry picker.
Well, I was investigating.
So, did you find out anything here? You know other than what warm lemon meringue tastes like? Oh, actually, Pammy said that just before the power went out she heard kind of like a horn sound.
Mmm-hmm.
But I still don't see how it matters.
It was just lightning.
Is this going to hold up us getting our power back on? Uh, no, no, they should They should have it back up and running soon.
Okay.
Okay, it wasn't just lightning.
The body was completely disintegrated.
Right, and it took half the billboard with it.
And what was weird was that the edge of the billboard was worn, almost like it was in a sandstorm.
Okay, so something sand-related.
Um, Sands of Iwo Jima.
Annette Funicello's Beach Ball.
I have an idea, but you're not going to like it.
Frankie Avalon? Why don't you trust me? It's the kind of thing we should have agreed upon first.
Look, each of us should have veto power.
Artie would agree with me, right Artie? One, I have veto power over both of you.
And two, the Regents have already decided to allow it so let it go.
They said that we can do it? It is done.
You're right, Myka, I do know what this is.
Oh, my.
I must have started drinking again because the woman who tried to activate a super volcano with a giant fork is standing here and you're all acting like it's a potluck.
No, no, no.
H.
G's not really here.
She's a hologram.
That thing on Artie's desk is projecting her.
Couldn't hurt a fly.
Pretty snazzy if you ask me.
I mean if she wasn't a volcano causing super villain like you said.
Look, when H.
G.
first showed up, I read her files from Warehouse 12.
I remember a case with the same details.
You have my word, Pete, my only intention is to help.
Oh, because your word means so much around here.
I'm quite glad to see you here, Myka.
I like to think I had something to do with that.
Yeah, no ego there.
It's a shame Jinksy isn't here to see the freak show.
Oh, is there a new recruit? He's on personal leave and Hands off! I don't know if you heard, I can't actually touch anything in my current holographic state.
How is your shoulder feeling, by the way? Like you shot it.
Technically, you did that.
Yeah, moving on.
Like it or not, we're going to have to use her help.
The billboard worker is not the first death.
Yeah, day before yesterday, a painter disappeared from the top of the Fort Pitt Bridge.
The police thought he fell into the river No, they're not going to find his body.
The witnesses heard exactly the same noise as that waitress.
Did you check the traffic cams? Bridge was out and we tried to find the links between the victims, locations, witnesses.
We got nothing.
People are dying, Pete.
We need to know what she knows.
All right.
So here are the rules.
You get to enjoy this change of scenery exactly as long as you are helping us.
The second that that is over, you go back to your Limbo prison? Mmm-hmm.
Understood.
Tell us what you know.
Righty-ho then.
It was, uh, 1893.
Christina had been gone for nearly two years by now.
Once again my brother was basking in my glory.
Oh, you're wonderful, Mr.
Wells.
Oh, you're too kind.
My stories are but the simple musings of a humble man cursed with too much imagination.
And terribly good looks.
Helena, your brother He's as charming as he is brilliant.
I couldn't agree more.
Where does he get his ideas? Actually, from me of course.
Helena.
People never believe what you're capable of, do they, Helena? Well, I know, you were surprised.
H.
G.
? Mr.
Wolcott.
Um, Miss Wells, Mr.
Crowley, I came straight away.
A curiosity has surfaced.
Wait? A curiosity? A ping, darling.
Oh, I like that.
Continuing.
It regards the stolen artifact.
Then we must go at once.
Two agents have already died on this one.
I shall accompany you instead of Wolcott.
I have more experience in the field.
Nonsense.
Wooly and I will be fine.
Besides, if we spend too much time together, Vincent, people will talk.
I'm dreadfully sorry, everybody, but it appears I shall have to leave you in the hands of my captivating co-host.
Well, I shall be more than delighted to entertain the ladies.
Oh, Mr.
Wells, do tell us about your next story.
Yes, Charles, do tell.
Oh, well, I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
No, really, I insist.
Ladies, you must make him tell you.
They're the work of a genius.
Yeah.
Come, Wooly, you can fill me in while I change.
Change clothes? This way.
No dawdling.
Details please.
What and when? Um, strange dust seems to be found where the agents were murdered.
Bobby discovered it this morning.
He heard the tone as well.
Location? Duncan, off Piccadilly.
That's rather public.
Our adversary has become quite bold.
Something wrong? No.
No matter.
I asked the bobby to, um What's that term you use? Preserve the scene.
Knowing how much you like to examine every detail.
Come, Mister Wolcott.
In the words of my good friend, Mr.
Doyle, "The game is afoot.
" Thank you, constable.
Thank you, gov'ner.
It's ours all right.
Have a look.
I'll take your word for it.
Um, are you sure you should be touching that? How else do you imagine I can determine its origins? What do you make of it? Passerby saw something he oughtn't? Or perhaps a thief just wanted to test the power of the wall? No.
But I'm beginning to see a modus operandi.
The agents from whom the artifacts were stolen were ambushed.
He knew where they'd be and when.
This attack was the same.
Only this time it will be his undoing.
You speak quite confidently.
Because I am quite confident.
Well, before you boast that the culprit is undone, it might help you to identify the victim first.
I already have.
A notebook page filled with columns of dates and times.
Schedule.
This street is a direct path from the Royal Astronomical Society to the London Observatory.
The numbers, astronomical observations.
Our victim was an astronomer.
Sir James Eddington to be exact.
He and I were engaged in a project of sorts.
Brilliant man.
Sadly his wife never appreciated him.
Really, H.
G.
is there not a man in London who you haven't charmed? Oscar Wilde and not for lack of trying.
How can you be certain it's Eddington? Acetone.
Excessive ketones in the blood.
Sir Eddington was diabetic.
We're mere hours behind our thief, Wolcott.
Eddington was on his way to the observatory.
Our man with the horn was out to stop him.
All right.
Hold on.
It's not Here it is.
Horn you are talking about This.
This horn? Joshua's trumpet.
As in Joshua who brought down the Walls of Jericho? An ancient ram's horn that emits a blast of such power The noise.
That it pulverizes anything in its path.
The horn of Jericho was real.
The horn inspired the legend of how.
And you've seen it? Over 100 years ago, yes.
Well, someone in Pittsburgh has this now.
And people are going to keep dying until we find it.
The blast resonates at a molecular level.
Hey, Artie How far away can this horn be and still blast? Pete, H.
G's dealt with it before.
Don't act like she's not even here.
You just told me, she isn't, which is fine by me.
We don't need her.
We can find this, ourselves.
Artie? There's something else that's familiar about this and it's not Joshua's trumpet.
It's something else, I'm sorry.
I just got to figure out what it is and I'm not sure.
Okay, all right, well.
Well, Pete asked a good question.
You know if these things aren't drive-bys maybe the blasts are coming from a common location.
Hey, give me a range, I can triangulate.
Oh, well, hey then this isn't even the same artifact because no one was close to the guy on the billboard.
Well, what if it was modified so it could work from a longer distance? Let her help.
I mean she's the only one of us who's seen it.
Yeah, 100 years ago.
And she's not one of us.
Even if it is the horn, I'm afraid I might not be able to help.
Why not? Who had it last? That's the thing, no one did.
What on earth? Not earth, the heavens.
A spacecraft carrying men to the stars.
Incredible.
Who could have dreamed of such a thing? Really, Wooly, will you never know me? Here, Wooly, hold this.
Sir Eddington and I were in the process of finding a power source.
And it appears someone's decided the horn would fit the bill.
Tell me, Wooly Do you know why a woman keeps her diary facing down? What? Why? It discourages prying eyes.
What does your diary have to do with anything? It's where the thief learned about the rocket before he hired the two men pointing pistols at us.
Oh, hello.
You're too clever for your own good, Helena.
I had hoped dispatching Eddington would have delayed you long enough for me to finish.
Mr.
Crowley.
This is a turn.
What on earth are you doing, Vincent? You know the dangers of misusing artifacts.
Don't lecture me, Helena.
I'm not your idiot brother.
The empire is on the wane.
I've even heard talk of moving the Warehouse to America.
That decision is in the hands of the Regents.
It isn't something you can stop.
It's not something that I can allow.
England must use the Warehouse to her advantage.
Imagine the fear it will strike in all the world when this device comes crashing down in front of the Reichstag.
The mere demonstration will secure British dominance for another century.
I should never have allowed that glint of madness to appeal to me.
Never fails to become a lover's least attractive trait.
I have enjoyed your companionship, Helena.
My only regret was deceiving you.
Then you have nothing to regret.
You knew? When? When he killed Eddington.
I knew then that the culprit was someone close to me.
You might have warned me.
He obviously had no intention of killing me, otherwise I'd be dead already.
How reassuring for you.
You've been studying Kenpo.
Yeah, well, I've seen you use it on enough men to fear that you would use it on me one day.
No! I do hope you were flattered by my diary.
I do tend to exaggerate a bit, though.
Come on! Tell me, Wolcott, why do so many men prove to be so untrustworthy? Might I suggest that it is you that brings the devil out of them.
Bravo, Wooly.
The art of deduction at its very best.
After that it was back to the drawing board.
Oh.
Okay.
So you built a rocket in 1893 and what, saved the world from a century of bad English cooking? You yourself have used my time machine, but a tube that shoots into the air strains credulity? Okay, so you changed the trajectory.
Where did you aim it? Straight for the stars, I thought.
I hoped it would be the last the world would see of it.
So if this thing in Pittsburgh is Joshua's trumpet then what went up, eventually came down.
Greenbury, Ohio, 1962! Billy, I'm not easy.
Of course not, Peg.
I was just Hey, let's go see it, huh? Oh! Wait up.
Dad's going to ground me for sure.
Bill, be careful.
Whatever's back there, it killed Doug Varley.
Oh, Doug probably spotted some prehistoric Dodo bird and followed it up to Sandusky.
Whoa Nelly! William Peter Nelson, you take me home right this instant.
Oh, Peg, the Coffey brothers probably built that in their shop for the fair.
Good, good.
That gave it a little more power.
Keep trying until I get their attention.
Jack and Rebecca saw something that looked like a crashed rocket in 1962.
And you think it was H.
G's? The sixties was Sputnik, with the space race.
Could have been any number of secret launches.
I never read that Sputnik 7 was equipped with a cow cooker.
That sounds like mine.
It probably is, except whatever this thing was, Jack and Rebecca, they say it was destroyed.
Ah, so inconclusive.
All right, you get to Ohio and see if there's any physical evidence left after all these years.
We've got to figure out where this thing is shooting from.
I'll search for living witnesses.
Yeah, and see if anybody from Greenbury now lives in Pittsburgh.
Is H.
G.
coming with us? Wait, wait, what? So you trust her now? Well, she has nothing to gain anymore.
Nothing to gain? She's in some "woo-woo" prison some place.
"Quid pro quo, Clarice.
" First she wants the room with the view, next thing she's eating a guard's face.
You do know I can hear you.
Oh.
Stop.
She goes.
She has intel.
I've never been to Ohio.
And that's how you turn her off.
All right, you take this.
And keep going through Jack and Rebecca's file.
If we cannot crack this case in the present, we need all the help we can get from the past.
And then the cow was just gone.
All right, you drink this down now.
Excuse me.
Is this the Meyer house? Agents Secord and St.
Clair, Secret Service.
We retrieve dangerous objects.
We heard you kids saw something.
I don't know what else to say, it looked like a spaceship and it ray gunned a cow.
Rose, Peggy, is it true? Did you see it? Come on in, please Nora.
Uh, this is Doug Varley's wife and that's his little boy.
You're from the government, right? Can you find my Doug? I'm sorry, Mrs.
Varley, we just don't know anything yet.
I'm sorry to barge in but I'm so worried about Doug.
Hey kiddo, I'm Rebecca.
You got a name? Daniel.
Are you one of the Mercury 7? You got a favorite? John Glenn's from Ohio.
He orbited the earth.
Is that what you want to do some day? Are you going to fight the space men and get my dad back? Can I help? Daniel, go outside and wait.
Mrs.
Varley, Rebecca and I have seen a lot of strange things, but I'm pretty sure there are no little green men with ray guns.
Tell that to the cow.
What? Re-enacting what those kids were doing out here might give us some insight into what they saw.
What a line.
Jack, I do love you, but given the way things turn out for most Warehouse agents, are we sure? Hell, I'm sure.
Okay.
Okay.
Down boy.
Heel.
We'll talk later if the Martians don't take us away in their flying saucer.
I don't see any Martians, do you? No, but I'll bet I see our artifact.
Geez, out there is one seriously lopsided goat.
Okay.
It's unstable.
How do we bag it without ending up like the cow? Okay.
Here's how it's going to go.
I'm going to disconnect the horn.
And me? You gaze at me lovingly.
Brilliant! Looks like, it's sealed with wax.
Shall we entertain a plan B? Yeah.
Run! Well, something took a big bite out of Jack and Rebecca's car in 1962.
Hey Myks, Jack's hat.
This edging has the same markings as the billboard.
Which means that whatever did this is also responsible for the deaths in Pittsburgh.
Jack and Rebecca said whatever it was, it vaporized itself.
They brought a whole team out here, searched the farm from top to bottom.
Still they could have been mistaken.
Whoa! Awesome.
Check it out.
Astounding Tales.
I didn't take Jack as an Astounding Tales kind of guy.
Playboy, maybe.
Now those are some astounding tails.
One of my short stories is in there.
Imagine the royalties.
Yes, just what the world needs.
A rich homicidal maniac.
You could buy yourself a secret island lair and hire someone to twirl your mustache.
Now how are we supposed to stop that thing? Won't know without a closer look.
You ready? Yeah.
All right, I think I can hit it with the Tesla.
It might melt the wax.
I'm a better shot than you.
Hockey pucks.
Kiss for good luck.
Okay, well, that was plan Z.
You? Sometimes a bullet is your best friend.
You could destroy the artifact.
And live to bag others? Sounds like a fair swap.
Where's the horn? Wait a minute.
Wait a Hey, Myks, this trench.
This could be a crash site, right? Sure.
Bingo.
Brass.
Looks 1890s-ish doesn't it? Oh! That's right.
You can't catch because you're in scary Regent prison where you belong.
No, that joke simply never gets old.
This is from my rocket.
I'm certain.
Hey Claudia, okay, listen to me, Joshua's trumpet was here in 1962.
And it's the same artifact that we're looking for now.
Awesome.
Except it's not quite the same.
You were right about someone in Pittsburgh changing the artifact to make it stronger.
They just zapped a helicopter out of the sky from a mile up.
A mile? Myks, this guy could be anywhere.
Are you sure that it's the same horn? Pilots radioed they heard a strange sound just before they lost control.
And then they were both killed.
You know what, lady? You are bad news.
Whenever you show up, people die, people disappear.
One way or another everything turns to crap.
You can't seriously be blaming me for these deaths.
I'm in prison.
Surprise, surprise, you're responsible.
Pete, you're being completely unreasonable.
Ooh, "One of my short stories is in there.
" The woman ruins everything.
Pete, I'm back.
Look, Myka, I just No, I came back.
It still doesn't change the fact that Okay, I'm sorry.
Me too.
Okay, okay, so how did this horn get Get from this farm in Ohio in 1962 to Pittsburgh today.
Somebody must have been out here that Jack and Rebecca didn't know about.
But, no, Claudia checked though.
Nobody moved from Greenbury to Pittsburgh.
So how do we find them? Myka, look at this.
That That's a kid's handwriting.
Maybe this book isn't Jack's.
Jack and Rebecca's file.
Remember there was that little boy who lost his father and he was an astronaut buff.
Right.
So maybe this is his.
He thought they took his dad to outer space.
He wanted to come back here to the farm with Jack and Rebecca, right? So he came in the trunk.
He must have picked up the horn and that's how it got to Pittsburgh.
Hey Claud, see what you can pull up on Daniel Varley.
Varley.
More power.
It needs more power.
Gliese 581.
Gliese 581.
This time, they're going to hear me.
I love Pittsburgh.
They put fries on nachos here.
So why didn't Daniel Varley show up in any of your searches? As of four months ago Daniel Varley doesn't show up in anyone's searches.
Dude has just completely fallen through the cracks.
I mean it's kind of hard to find someone who lives in Pittsburgh if they're homeless.
Academically beyond brilliant but socially and psychologically, not so much.
In and out of psych hospitals his whole life.
I'm surprised we never met.
Yeah, now, when he was functioning, Varley taught astronomy.
He volunteered for SETI.
SETI, yeah, that's where the, um, those guys scan the skies looking for intelligent life.
I saw Contact.
So he's still obsessed with outer space? Oh, sorry, guys.
Mmm.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Sorry.
Oh! Oh, nobody wants to see that.
Sorry.
You know what? I'm just going to pretend that we own a big dog.
Well, we kind of do.
Pete.
What? I don't want to waste any.
Mmm.
So, how do we find Daniel Varley? All right, now, his last job before he fell off the grid, yeah, he was a teacher at West P.
A.
Tech.
Look for Professor Wilmar.
Find him.
This was Daniels' office.
No one's had time to clean it up.
Ooh.
Looks like somebody won first prize ten years in a row.
Dan was always troubled, didn't like people near him.
Then this personal project eclipsed everything.
Myka, these are sky maps, star charts.
My dad and I used to do this stuff.
These are all about the same star.
What's so important about G.
L.
581? Gliese 581.
It's pretty close to us, around twenty light years.
It's getting a lot of attention, because we think it might have planets in the Goldilocks Zone.
Goldilocks? Not too hot and not too cold.
Just right to support life.
The internet went crazy over the discovery late last year.
That's right when Daniel was getting worse.
Daniel thought his dad was abducted by aliens and now he thinks he's found them.
So he's going to shoot the horn at the star? I mean what would that accomplish? Who knows? If he is, the locations make sense.
Why? Check this out.
Okay, I took all three spots, the bridge, the utility pole and helicopter.
Yeah.
And I drew lines to where G.
L.
581 was in the sky each time.
Oh.
All three lines originate from the same spot.
The SETI facility where Daniel Varley used to work.
What's there now? Nothing.
It was shut down due to cutbacks.
Oh, my.
That sounds bad.
If this guy shoots at that star again tonight, it'll cut right through.
Allegheny Field.
In the middle of a ball game.
Stay back! I'm going to take the shot.
I've warned you.
Wait, you're with the agents, Jack and Rebecca.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Daniel, that's That's right.
Jack and Rebecca.
They were your friends, right? This won't work, Daniel.
G.
L 581 is They've been here.
They can see us.
I just want them to know I have their device.
No.
No, Daniel, you've already killed four people.
What? No, no, no I haven't.
Daniel, you're a smart guy.
You've already seen what the horn can do.
You do this, it's going to rip right through Allegheny Field.
I don't believe you.
And I don't care.
They need to know that I'm here.
To see me.
And now they will.
No, no, no! I hacked into the stadium box office.
There's like 40,000 fans there tonight, Artie.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
I got it.
I got it.
Yeah, my contact, he can call for an evacuation, but there's no way in hell he can clear that many people out of there in that short a time.
Come on, guys.
Daniel, a lot of innocent people are going to die at Allegheny Field tonight.
Why would you want that? I've waited all my life.
These aliens, they took my father from me.
Aliens? Myka, do you still have the sphere? What? Turn it on.
Trust me.
What? Oh, is it time to berate me more? This is Doug Varley's son, Daniel.
He wants to know what happened to his father.
Helena built the rocket.
You're the alien? The device is yours? I built the rocket that carried it here, yes.
I'm sorry about your father, Daniel.
He's gone.
I know.
Now it's your turn.
Daniel, put the gun down.
It worked! I got you to come here.
You killed my father.
Now I'm going to kill you.
You want revenge.
Daniel, wait.
She didn't kill your father.
No.
She did.
Myka, Pete's right.
His father's death is my fault.
Daniel, I am responsible, but please, you have to listen to me.
We've all lost loved ones unfairly.
I lost someone I love, too.
For me, it was my daughter.
I was so angry, in such pain.
I almost hurt a great many people.
I didn't care, just like you.
But it won't make you feel any better.
And it doesn't bring our loved ones back.
But please, you have to help me now.
This isn't the answer.
Why did you send it? Why did he have to die? Oh, Daniel, it was an accident, a terrible accident.
It was my job to keep the horn from hurting anyone and I failed.
And your father and you, you paid for my failure.
And for that I'm so dreadfully sorry.
But no one else needs to die now, do they? Great.
They're on the way back and they got the horn.
Whoo-hoo! No, no, no, don't, don't mess with my chair.
Buzz kill.
No, it is adjusted to the specifications of my body type.
I have a slight scoliosis at the lower part of my spine.
It travels down Don't go any lower.
Okay.
Listen, very nice job.
Just clean up that mess, will you? Hmm.
Would I get yelled at if I said it was kind of nice having H.
G.
back? Just don't get used to it.
Were you really going to get inside that craft and ride it to the stars? Eagerly.
Well, I might have let Eddington go first as a scientist.
How do you do it? Do what? Reconcile your two disparate worlds.
Bottling up the unknown in Warehouse 12 so it doesn't destroy us, whilst with your next breath inventing the latest perils? And all of it with such joie de vivre, despite your misfortune.
Look to the future, Mr.
Wolcott, and I expect great things.
We're at the dawn of a new age.
Would you rather it be greeted by the likes of us? Or men like Mr.
Crowley? I'd rather it all slow down a bit, catch our breath.
Oh, Wooly, mark my words, the future is going to be a wondrous place.
Charlie thinks that rocket was built by this nutty dame.
Can't say I'll ever understand what was floating around in her head.
"Nutty" because she's a powerful woman, ahead of her time? Hey, I don't judge.
Something she did landed her here.
Seems like every Warehouse agent ends up loony, a bad guy or on a slab.
Is that your decision? It always ends bad, so why get started? Actually the opposite.
Really? How's that figure? The two of us almost dying out there made me realize, who knows how long we have, what might happen on the next case or the one after that.
And that is exactly why we should squeeze every second of happiness we can out of this thing.
Carpe diem, huh? Miss St.
Clair, I like the way you think.
You should feel quite proud right now.
Why is that? Three teams of agents over more than a century dedicated themselves to this case, but you and Pete are the ones who succeeded.
With your help.
We did make a good team.
Didn't we? We did.
And then you I just wish that you would have realized that sooner.
So do I.
Good work out there.
Goodbye, Helena.
Let's go save the world, Lattimer.
Whatever you say, sweetheart.