Ackley Bridge (2017) s03e06 Episode Script

1 We've got to be careful.
No-one can know.
- That's racist, that is.
- It's just a textbook.
- I am shocked, bro.
- Decision's made.
Not exactly the Ritz, is it? Sorry, Sam, I can't do this any more.
I can't.
That is your application for Student Support Officer.
There are kids here being left behind.
- They should never feel alone.
- When can you start? I was out of order, bro.
I don't think before I speak.
Everybody in Ackley Bridge thinks they know everybody else's business.
They don't know nothing.
MUSIC PLAYING TV PLAYING IN BACKGROUND You'll get square eyes sitting that close to TV, innit.
Did you remember to heat up the dinner Yusef left? I'm sorry, beti.
Are you all right? You all right, bruv? Hanifa, go upstairs.
- You know how many people sent me this? - I don't know, five? - You were supposed to be at rugby practice.
- I was.
This was, like, after.
What was I supposed to do, not go? Not embarrass me by slagging it up.
And you weren't wearing your headscarf.
Don't act like you care whether I wear my headscarf or not.
Aren't you bothered that you're showing us up? At least we gave everyone summat to talk about.
How did you pay for it? You are so selfish.
Lying, stealing! Baba would be ashamed of you.
This has nothing to do with Baba, don't you dare bring him up! Maybe you should think about him next time you decide to make a show of yourself! You're the one he'd be ashamed of.
Throwing your weight around, acting like the big man.
You're just a pathetic loser.
- Ruky - I hate you! Miss Oakes, in her wisdom, has decided it would be a good idea to learn a bit more about each other's cultures through food.
So today, we're doing Polish.
'Cos of you, I assume.
I thought all Poles just ate pickled food, but apparently not.
Can we do Greek Cypriot one week? Why would we want to do that? 'Cos that's my heritage, you know.
- Halloumi and that.
- As long as it's halal, Miss.
'Cos we ain't cooking it if it ain't halal.
Well, Rukhsana, that's not very culturally sensitive, is it? Not everything revolves around your lot, you know.
So, we're going to be making Polish-style doughnuts, known as Pu Po Paczis.
- What?! - That's disgusting! First you make us cook food that ain't halal, - then you call us the P word.
- I did nothing of the sort.
- You all heard her, innit.
- CLASS: Yeah.
Tell them, Pawel.
The word is "pounski".
- And that's what I said.
- No, it ain't! Shut up, Ruky.
We just want to make doughnuts.
Oh, Gordon Ramsay has something to say in the corner? Well, come on then, big man.
You may not care that our teacher is racist, but I do! CLASS LAUGH FIRE ALARM CLASS GROAN C'mon, pick those feet up.
If you moved this slowly during a real fire, you wouldn't make it! - The drill's over, Mrs Bird.
- Another lesson wasted.
Come on, move! Now! Don't smirk at me, just move.
Do you really think I could be the team mascot? That's a cheerleader, not a mascot, you div.
Your bum looks amazing in them trousers.
You'll get excluded for speaking to a staff member like that.
I don't know, Miss Bird didn't seem to mind it earlier.
Come on.
Come on.
Quickly, now.
Usual place tonight? I'll meet you at five.
- Boys.
- Big lad.
- Boys.
- Everyone's talking about it.
- Hunter Munter King, mate.
- Are you OK? - She was so easy! - You absolute ledge! - Candice? - Really? I can't believe you did it.
Honestly, she was almost too easy.
- You know what I mean? - Watch out! HE SCREAMS I'll give you munter.
Oh, Candice.
Can we call an ambulance? - My arm! - Can you please stand back? - Everyone, stand back! - Miss, my arm! Did you deliberately push Dan, Candice? I don't know.
I might've done.
I can't remember.
This is serious, Candice.
It looks like his arm's broken.
What made you do it? Felt like it.
So you're saying you attacked him for no reason? Candice? Are you sure that's what happened? Said it was, didn't I? (SHE SIGHS) Right.
We are going to place you in the Internal Exclusion Unit at Copsewood High for a week.
Give you time to reflect on your behaviour.
And count yourself lucky we're not calling the police.
Miss Carp has left a message for your mother again.
Tell me what is going on in the head.
Nothing.
I know I'm great fun, but not even my own daughters want to spend this much time with me.
You can talk to me, you know.
That's what I'm here for.
Student Support.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Candice? Why are you not in school? Everything all right? Do you want it? Go on.
I thought he liked me, but it was just a joke.
Dan just wanted to show off to Cory and the lads.
Oh, Candice.
They set up a WhatsApp group and they took a picture of us kissing and sent it round to everybody with with "Hunt A Munter" written all over it.
I should've known, 'cos that's all I ever am, innit? Just the butt of a joke.
Candice, you have got so much going for you.
You have! You're kind and you're funny, and I know you're brave, 'cos it's scary enough having a baby as a grown-up.
But I know what people think of me, and what they say about me.
"Oh, stupid Candice got herself knocked up," and now this! Where's that Murgatroyd spirit gone, eh? Eh? You going to let a group of silly little boys decide what you're worth? No.
Because you are better than that, Candice.
I'm going to talk to Miss Oakes and get you back to school.
What're you doing with my stuff? Me and Adeel are taking you to Leicester.
You're going to stay with Uncle Hassan, he'll sort you out.
- You can't do this.
- Yeah, we can.
- Ummi won't let you.
- It's my decision, not Ummi's.
Well, I'm not going.
You can't make me.
What else am I supposed to do with you, Rukhsana? I can't deal with you.
Yusef! Uh, sorry to bother you.
I'm Kaneez Paracha from Ackley Bridge College.
I'm the Student Support Officer.
I just want to speak to Rukhsana's mother.
Now's not a good time, I'm afraid, Auntie.
- Oh.
- They're sending me away to Leicester! It's for her own good.
That school obviously can't manage her.
Well, no, that's why I'm here.
We can work together and find a solution that suits everybody.
This is the best thing for everyone.
- Now if you don't mind, Auntie.
- No, but I'm just trying to help her! So is Uncle in Leicester, Auntie.
OK.
All right.
Leicester's much worse than Ackley Bridge.
It will be a fresh start for you, Rukhsana, it will.
Ruky! Ruky? Ta-da! Is this what I think it is? A wedding invite? Ooh! You must be so excited.
Yeah, we can't wait.
- Aww, it's to me AND Oliver.
- Yeah, of course.
Aww, that's nice.
Not many people want kids at their wedding, do they? But he is very well-behaved.
There'll be no knee slides across the dance floor during the first dance.
Well, not from him, anyway.
I bet one baby feels like a walk in the park compared to the hundreds of reprobates you have to look after at that school.
Yeah, you'd think.
I, er, I bumped into Candice Murgatroyd earlier.
Well, speaking of reprobates.
What, is she the one that, er ? Broke another student's arm? Yes.
Oh, don't go all bleeding-heart liberal on me, Mand.
She could've killed him.
Yeah, well, you know why she did it, don't you? Dan pulled her for a joke.
It was part of some Hunt A Munter competition between him and Cory Wilson and the rest of the gang.
I mean, as if Cory's not been cruel enough to her as it is, leaving her to bring Jamie up on her own with practically no help at all.
I just I just felt a bit sorry for her, that's all.
Denigrating women isn't funny.
You're sixth formers.
In a few months you're going to be out there in the real world as adults and this kind of behaviour will not wash.
Why are WE getting told off? She broke his arm and she's back already.
Candice has been suitably punished.
As will all of you.
After-school detentions for the next week.
Cory, stay behind, please.
Mr Evershed, could you go ahead and set up the next meeting? Yeah, sure.
How could you do something so disgusting - I didn't.
- to the mother of your child? I didn't.
I swear.
I haven't posted in that group in weeks.
Not since we I barely even speak to that lot, and you know that.
I don't want to let something this stupid ruin what we have.
What do you think you're doing? I know, not here.
I'm sorry.
I just I just, like, couldn't help myself.
No.
I mean, we can't do this any more.
No.
Look, you don't mean that, right, 'cos, yeah, what we have, yeah, is It's special.
I know you feel it too.
It's wrong.
You're still a kid.
It's over, Cory.
Did anyone ask about me today? No, nothing.
What? Yusef'll be worried.
Are you dumb? He tried to pack me off to Leicester.
Have you ever been to Leicester? It's full of roadmen, innit? - Like Jamie Vardy? - What? Footballers aren't roadmen, idiot.
I can't go home.
Well, what about your mum? Won't she be worried? She doesn't even know what day of the week it is most of the time.
Not since Dad Look, if I go to Leicester, we'll never see each other again.
- Do you want that? - No.
So you have to keep me here.
- What, like, forever? - No.
Just till I figure out a way to get back at Yusef.
If he wants to mess with my life, I'm going to mess with his.
NOISE AT DOOR Ruky, the door.
Quick! Get under the bed.
Hey, you still awake, Spuddy? Yeah.
Is everything all right? Yeah, why? What have you heard? - I was just asking, Spuddy.
- Oh.
Right.
How was school today? All right.
There's, um, there's some Polish doughnuts in the kitchen for you, if you want.
That sounds fantastic.
Oh, my clever girl.
OK, bubs.
Sleep tight.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
MUM LAUGHS - Night-night.
- Night.
DOOR CLOSES WHISPERS: I can't believe you got into his phone.
That picture.
WHISPERS: I know, bro.
Yusef's going to be bare angry.
Maybe we shouldn't be doing this.
Look, I'll go by myself if you're too scared.
Come on, hurry up! All right.
I got a stitch.
Oh, Jesus, I can't.
Look, I'm coming.
Just get a move on! That's Yusef's boss.
We just have to wait till he goes.
Is your brother in? - Brushed your teeth? - Yeah.
Let me smell.
Go on.
Quickly.
I'm sorry.
I I just wanted to, you know, check Rukhsana got to Leicester OK? - I should let the school know.
- Yeah, yeah, she did.
Teenagers.
They think they know it all.
You know, sometimes you feel like you're just the only one, you know, finding it hard but you're not, eh? We'll be all right, Auntie.
I've got to get going.
I've got to get to work.
MAN CHUCKLES Oi! Get away, now! Obviously that class isn't blessed in the brains department, but at least with Rukhsana not there I might actually be able to teach them something.
You know my son is in this class.
Oh! Well, then, you're more than familiar with his limitations.
Ey-up! If you're not careful, the wind will change - and your face will stay like that.
- SHE LAUGHS Oh, my God! Sorry.
It were an accident.
HE LAUGHS - It's not funny.
- It is! You totally still fancy her.
That's why you're being all mopey.
- I'm not being mopey.
- Mm-hm.
I'm not! I'm not, I ju Do you know what? I just need, like, a night out or something.
A distraction from the monotony that is my life.
Oi, Spud! Spud, come here.
GIRLS GIGGLE Isn't this Ruky's brother? It totally is.
They're up all over town, you do know that, yeah? - It's so funny.
- No, it's not! It wasn't funny when it happened to Candice, it's not funny just 'cos he's a boy! Too late.
I seen already.
Show me.
Show me! Wash your hands, get ready for dinner.
I don't know whether to hit you or hug you.
Nice to know you weren't worried about me.
These were you, I take it? Yeah.
Jokes, innit? Make you think twice before taking naked pictures of yourself.
- It's not normal, bro.
- Why? Huh? Why would you do that? Humiliate me in front of everyone? You threw me in a car and tried to take me to Leicester.
I mean, if you want to get rid of me, at least do it properly and send me to Pakistan, innit! Where did you even get them? Your cloud password is "password", bro.
You're so stupid.
HE SNIFFS Do you think I want any of this? Do you think I enjoy it? I've been doing everything I can to keep us going, Rukhsana, and all you do is push and push and make things a hundred times worse than they need to be! Why do you always blame everything on me? Because you're a living nightmare! I've been sacked.
Your little prank? They sacked me.
I'm hanging on by a thread, here.
What do you mean? I can't do this any more.
You make my life hell.
Yusef? Where are you going? Come on, it were just a joke.
I'll tell your boss, sort it out.
You don't have to leave.
Yusef! It's proper chill without him.
Wish he'd left months ago.
Rukhsana?! Well, evidently Leicester didn't want you either.
Couldn't cope without seeing my favourite teacher Miss Carp every day, innit? You listen to me, you know where I am - if you need - Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
Mrs Paracha! What a weirdo.
What? Here he comes! Hayley's gone mad at him.
What's he doing? Under the thumb, bro? He's making up for what he done to Candice! Like you should be! What, by carrying a tray? By proving he can be respectful to women! Ooh! HE IMITATES WHIP Do you think I should invite Sam? Oh, yeah, just what every night out needs.
A Murgatroyd.
Hey! Me and Naveed are organising a night out and, um, I would really like it if you could come.
Because we're friends! It's what friends do.
Well, I'm pretty busy, so I'll have to see.
- Yeah.
Cool.
Cool.
- Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
All right, girls, sumo squats, yeah? This way.
Ey-up! Good to see you back, Rukhsana-banana.
'Cos we've got a big match coming up.
Yeah, well, panic's over.
Star player's back now, innit.
Um, we're a team.
There are no star players.
Oi, I saw your brother on the estate last night.
Lucky you.
Shacked up with Dirty Donna.
- Donna loves his donner, eh? - THEY LAUGH Hey, Shannon, less of that, please! Well, it's true! (MUSIC: AFTER LAUGHTER BY WENDY RENE) - I'm sorry I'm late.
- We tried to call.
If anyone other than Yusef is going to collect the girls, - we need to be informed.
- Well, I'm informing you now.
I'll be picking them up from now on.
Home time! Thanks.
How many glasses? Uh, yeah, three will be fine.
He was that shook up, he kicked the Imam and ran away.
- What?! Kicked him?! - Yeah.
Was it Heinz? Was it Heinz? We don't know.
Was it Heinz? - We don't know that.
- I'm scared of clowns.
THEY LAUGH It's no funny story, it actually happened, mate! - OK.
- Yeah, yeah.
Room for a little one? He's got a cracking anecdote about mayonnaise, - if you're interested.
- He hasn't, he hasn't.
My mate's got a phobia of mayonnaise.
Oh, you don't have to tell it again, really.
Seriously, she's had a long week at work ALL TALK AT ONCE (MUSIC: CAME HERE FOR LOVE BY SIGALA & ELLA EYRE) Really made him work for that forgiveness.
How could I stay mad at this little face? Ugh.
Naveed! Bro! Welcome to losers' corner.
This is your big night, innit? You should be out having fun.
It's hard to have fun when the one person you want here, isn't.
Uh, bye, Miss Oakes.
Uh, Sian.
Sian.
- See you later, man.
- See you later.
- Make sure you get a taxi, yeah? - Yeah, I will do.
All right? Too much to drink? - Yeah, I should've eaten.
- We've all been there.
I'm pleased you came.
Makes you seem more, er human.
Please don't sack me for saying that.
Am I a ? Am I a bad person? What? No! Of course you're not! All right, you might be a bit of an ice queen and a little bit of a lightweight, but it's not exactly a crime, is it? - THEY LAUGH SOFTLY - The Ice Queen, right.
No offence.
It's just, you know, the whole uber professional thing, you could probably just maybe relax a little bit and no-one will judge you.
Listen, I better get back inside, 'cos Lorraine is on the Sambucas.
SHE LAUGHS - See you in a bit.
- Cheers, Martin.
You break it, you're paying for it.
I have been waiting for you at that club for hours! No, you haven't.
You've got enough FRIENDS to hang out with.
Come on.
Come on, Sam, it's It's not the same without you.
- I can't.
- You're just so stubborn! No.
I really can't.
- I've got a proper strict curfew here.
- Sneak out, then.
Go on.
Not too chicken, are you? OK.
Yes! Careful! SAM GRUNTS THEY SQUEAL THEY LAUGH It's not funny! How am I supposed to get back in? You're just going to have to spend the night with me then, aren't you? THEY GIGGLE - You're mad! If they catch us - They won't.
And besides, it's your motorbike.
It's part of you.
You know, it's like it's like when men's cars are an extension of their personality.
- Come on.
- Wait, is that a compliment or a cuss? Nas? - Quickly, just get the motorbike.
- Can you just not, can we just go? (SAM GASPS) That's the sheep! - Oh, my God! - SHEEP BLEATS Oh, my God! Get it back out! I don't want it to come near me! SHEEP BLEATS Go! Go back in, quickly! Go back in, sheep! Oh, my God, Nas! Help! How am I going to help?! Help! Help me! SHEEP BLEATS Nas! SHEEP BLEATS DOOR OPENS Go! Go! Go! - Quick, pass it! - SHEEP BLEATS Shove it on your head! Oi! You think you'll get away with this? Come on, get her! Go on! - Oi! - Go on, Sam! - Come here! - Oi, hurry up! - NASREEN LAUGHS - What? You got played by a sheep! NASREEN LAUGHS Honestly, you should have seen your face when it ran out! I like it when you're like this.
It's been a while.
Why did you want me to come out so badly? Because I've missed you.
Don't say it unless you mean it.
Do you know what, Sam? These last few months, I've felt like a jigsaw puzzle.
You know, with all the pieces missing.
But slowly, I'm starting to find them again put them all right places.
All right, sweetheart? What do you want? You're four months behind with your rent.
Pack up and get out.
You haven't been paying the rent?! It was your dad's job, and then Yusef's.
It's always someone else's job, isn't it? Why can't you just be normal, Ummi? I'm sorry, beti.
Don't answer the door to anyone.
No matter how much they knock.
You must be Donna.
I need to speak to Yusef.
- How did you know I was here? - You're not exactly MI5, bro.
Feel good, does it? Abandoning your family - for a gora? - She's my girlfriend.
- Yours and half the estate's.
- Don't talk about her like that.
Ever since Baba died I've had everyone on my back all the time.
- Donna actually listens.
- All this time you've been having a go at me for everything I do, when actually you were the haram one all along! No-one tells you how to do this stuff, Rukhsana.
How to be the man of the house.
I'm 19, I should be allowed to get stuff wrong.
We're being thrown out of the house.
You knew it was going to happen, didn't you? I tried to stay on top of it all, but when I lost my job I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
For everything.
- It's no wonder you hate me! - I don't hate you.
Look, if you come home, things will be different, I swear.
- Ruky.
- I promise, I'll be a different person.
Please, Yusef.
Please, come home.
I can't do any of this without you.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Your hair needs a wash.
Can I have some examples of hyperbolic sentences, please? - What does that even mean? - Anyone? Anyone at all? OK, I'll start one off for you.
This lesson is so bad, it makes me want to Makes me what to Anyone? Anyone at all? No? Rukhsana, this is your area of expertise, exaggeration.
Yes.
Kacey.
- Pull my own eyes out.
- CLASS LAUGH OK, good.
Um Not good if it were true, obviously, but, yes, good example.
Now I want you all to try and write some hyperbolic sentences of your own, all right? Kacey.
Yes.
Miss Carp's so ugly her face makes her mum cry.
CLASS LAUGH I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, all right? Come on, write them down.
Hyperbolic sentences.
Exaggerate! If you're going to have a go at me for missing detention I made a mistake.
You do feel it, too, don't you? I do.
I feel it.
Hey, look, it's nice, innit? She's supporting her sister.
Yeah, well, it ain't going to help much anyways, we've got no chance without Rukhsana on the team.
You've got to have the faith.
- It's like what that Boy George say.
- George Michael.
I thought they were both the same person.
No, two different person.
Huh.
Who knew? - Mum.
- Mmm? You know I was making that poster for Raz? Well, I wasn't just making it for Raz.
I was kind of making it for Sam, too.
We're back together.
Not long ago you were crying on floor about that girl.
Yeah, I know that, but I love her, Mum.
I do.
After all the sadness, if that's what make you really happy then who am I to stand in the way, hm? Be happy.
I don't understand why you can't play.
You know what, Ruky? A few weeks ago, you would've just jumped on the coach and come to the rugby tournament, - with or without permission.
- Well.
Yeah, well What's wrong with you? God, you're being so weird.
- I mean, first the whole ho'jabi thing - You can't say that.
- But you call yourself - Yeah, I can say it, - but when you say it, it's racist, all right? - Right, well, sorry.
You're being you're kind of being, um boring.
Look, Ruky, wait.
Oh, Rukhsana.
What's wrong? What's wrong? Spud says I'm boring - because I'm not going to the rugby.
- Huh? I'm just doing what everyone wants and now no-one likes me.
That's not true.
I like you.
They say this thing, "All work and no play make Rukhsana a dull girl.
" Would it be such a bad thing if you go to the rugby? Why doesn't anyone get it? I can't.
Why? I just can't.
PHONE DIALS The coach is waiting, Kaneez.
Hello.
Hello, this is Kaneez Paracha, I am the Student Support Officer at Ackley Bridge College.
Yusef? I think it is very necessary for you to know something, um, about today.
CAR HORN BEEPS What are you doing here? I was supposed to be picking up the girls.
Mrs Paracha called.
We thought you could do with an afternoon off.
Come on, get in quick.
We still might make it.
CROWD SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMEN They're forgetting she got the dyspraxia! SHOUTING: She doing her best! I knew you still fancied her.
So it's back on, then? What, er, what happened to your tap dancer? He's gone back to drama school and didn't fancy a long-distance thing.
FRUSTRATED YELLING That is your girlfriend.
Yeah, too right it is.
We need to fix you up with someone.
No, I'm doing all right.
With a wifey, though? No, honestly, bro.
I'm doing all right.
You've got a girlfriend? I knew it! I knew that's why you've been acting weird for a reason! She's why you left the group chat, innit? Do I know her? No.
I do, don't I? Come on, man, don't be embarrassed, who is it? Swear you won't say anything? Bro, come on, of course.
THEY WHISPER INDISTINCTLY HE LAUGHS Mate! Quality.
- You came.
- Yeah, well, I knew you would lose without me, innit.
Look, I'm sorry I called you boring.
Um, we're all going bowling again to, um, not to celebrate, but to, um, you know Do you, um, do you want to come? I'll pick you up later.
(MUSIC: DIAMONDS BY RIHANNA) Find light in the beautiful sea I choose to be happy You and I, you and I We're like diamonds in the sky You're a shooting star I see A vision of ecstasy When you hold me, I'm alive - We're like diamonds in the sky - CHEERING Eye to eye So alive We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky Shine bright like a diamond Shine bright like a diamond Shine bright like a diamond Oh, yeah Shine bright like a diamond Shine bright like a diamond Shine bright like a diamond Shine bright like a diamond.
I've been sent a video of you.
Getting a strike! Proper sportswoman, aren't you? Didn't you know? I'm the next Wayne Rooney, me.
Yeah, you do look a bit like him.