Andi Mack (2017) s03e06 Episode Script

1 ANDI: Previously on Andi Mack Choco Chocolate Chip Muffin, right? Scary Basketball Guy.
Actually, TJ.
Buffy may have been right, but you're the one who really helped me.
CYRUS: He's a completely different person.
He's with me.
I'm the new principal, Dr.
Metcalf.
I want you know, I'm not a scary principal.
I'm an approachable one.
I don't see any reason why we can't be friends.
Our lease was accepted.
Are you two moving? We're gonna need a bigger place when we get married.
The apartment next door! - (SMASH) - (ANDI SCREAMING) Surprise! I'm gonna knock this wall out, and before you know it, we'll have one big apartment! ANDI: Next question! What is the name of my favorite stuffed animal? Eh! Baba! - Correct! - Yes.
ANDI: Next question.
What is my favorite condiment? Eh! That's a trick question.
You don't like condiments.
Correct! (SIGHS) The score is Bex five, Bowie zero.
Having a little trouble with your buzzer, sport? This isn't fair.
You guys have spent way more time together.
And whose fault is that? Yours.
For not telling me she existed for the first 13 years of her life.
Next question! What is my favorite eating utensil? Bzzz! Your hands.
That's your favorite eating utensil.
I thought it was everyone's favorite eating utensil.
- (CHUCKLES) - (KNOCKING) I'll go see who it is.
Don't get up.
(GROANS) I wasn't going to.
(GASPS) Mom! Steven! Ohh! (CHUCKLES) Steven? (THEME SONG PLAYING) I'm standin' on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh is blown away Life is upside down But any way it goes I'll work it out Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Here we go - One, two, three - I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way I'm ready for tomorrow - Tomorrow starts today - Hey There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way Hey All the way Oh! (CHUCKLES) Steven's his actual first name.
Whoa.
- Rebecca? - Cookie! - It's been too long! - Oh! Steven and Rebecca Okay! (CHUCKLES) Is this my granddaughter? Look at you.
You're so beautiful! - I'm Cookie.
- I'm Andi.
But, that's not short for anything.
It's just Andi.
- I love you already! - (BOTH LAUGHING) You're really good at hugging.
Mom, you should've told us you were coming.
I didn't know until yesterday.
Oh, just a little more.
- Oh! - You're just so precious! (SIGHS) Okay, I'm good.
(CHUCKLES) So, I've heard so many stories about you.
Is it true you live on cruise ships? It's like living in an apartment without traffic noise, and all the neighbors serve you drinks in a coconut! Mom has been all over the world.
But, I told myself when I got back to this hemisphere, I was going to come straight here, and meet my granddaughter.
Mom, do you want something to drink? Do you have a coconut? Just kidding.
I brought my own.
Are you hungry? We were just having dinner.
COOKIE: Is this what you're feeding my granddaughter? This won't do.
Let me fix you kids something.
Mom, you don't have to do that.
No, no, it's no trouble.
Well, it might be.
There's not a lot in there.
I'll be fine.
I'll holler when dinner's ready.
(LAUGHS) Well, Steven.
(LAUGHS) Dinner! It's only been, like, 20 minutes! She's just showing off.
Trying to impress you guys.
(LAUGHS) It's working.
How did the Where did the Does your bag have a frozen food section? I never go anywhere without a roast chicken.
COOKIE: The drumstick is Steven's favorite.
He loves to eat with his hands.
(GIGGLES) - TJ: Cyrus! - Hey! What's up? What are you doing Saturday? Saturday.
Saturday Well, my Popular Kids Club meeting's are on Fridays, so, uh, yeah.
I'm free on Saturday.
- Wanna hang out? - With you? And my friends.
Do they even know I exist? Yeah, they know.
- I talk about you.
- Behind my back? Well, you're not there, so, yeah.
Are you mad? Are you kidding? I'm flattered! I didn't think anybody talked about me behind my back.
So, Saturday.
You in? What's the plan? Nothing major.
Just gonna hang out.
Cool, cool.
Definitely down for some hanging.
Or up for some hanging.
Direction doesn't matter.
I can hang.
Yeah.
- Okay.
See ya.
- Yeah.
Mom.
People are talking about me behind my back! I know.
I'm proud of me, too.
(LAUGHS) BUFFY: Hey! - Oh, I like your board! - You want it? - What? - Seriously, take it.
(LAUGHS) If you insist - I really like your jacket - I'm keeping my jacket.
Had to try.
(LAUGHS) Now I have an excuse to get a new board.
- I mean, this thing is pretty beat.
- (CHUCKLES) You might wanna replace the wheels.
I'll go to the skate shop this weekend.
I'll go with you! You can help me pick out a new deck.
And then you can teach me some new tricks.
And before we know it, I'll be better than you.
And then I'll wake you up because you'll be dreaming.
And then I'll wake you up because you were dreaming about waking me up.
- And then I'll - Hmm? - Yeah, that's enough.
- I'll take that.
No skateboarding inside school or on school grounds.
Dr.
Metcalf, we weren't skating.
I was just holding it.
Holding is a gateway to riding.
You can pick it up after school.
Are those leggings? Oh right, we changed the dress code, didn't we? Carry on.
What is his problem? Not his hearing.
Ears working just fine.
BEX: She rearranged all the furniture? Mom? What do you think? I'm so happy to be here.
I'm just looking for little ways to make you happy.
I hope you love it! Be honest, do you love it? What's not to love? - (TIMER RINGS) - Oh, that's my cue! Make yourselves at home! What did she do? How did she Why did she When did she You gotta admit, it's an improvement.
Huh.
Hole.
No hole.
Hole.
(CHUCKLES) No hole.
I liked everything the way it was.
- Hole.
- Stop playing with that! (SIGHS) It's our house, and it's our furniture.
She said we should be honest.
I'm just gonna tell her.
(SNIFFS) Oh, I smell cookies.
COOKIE: Look what I found in the oven! Your favorite! Everything she makes is your favorite.
(GIGGLES) Name cookies? (GASPS) Oh! Those are my favorite! Tell you what.
After you've had your snack, I'll wrap you each in a lovey, and find you something nice to watch on TV! Mom, you're the best.
No, you're the best! No, you're the best! I hate to even take a bite out of it.
Your cookie's much bigger than mine.
That's why I let her call me "Rebecca.
" - No fair.
- Mm-hmm.
(DIRT BIKES REVVING) (HEAVY METAL MUSIC) (HEAVY METAL SINGING) Never let him get away Oh no, here I come Running into the rain I'm gonna run Right until the end I'm gonna run (SCRAPES DIRT) Hey.
- (MUSIC ENDS) - Hey, you made it! Uh, Cyrus, this is Lester, and this is Reed.
Hey.
You didn't tell me there were gonna be dirt bikes.
- Ever been on one? - As a matter of fact, Andi has one, and I hid it in my garage, and rolled it through the school parking lot.
So, no.
They're really fun.
- Give it a shot! - No, thanks.
I have a fear of basically everything that's going on here.
(LAUGHS) TJ was right.
You are funny.
I don't know.
Well, come on.
Say something else funny.
My humor's mostly observational and character driven.
(LAUGHS) That's good, that's good.
Hot crowd.
- You gonna ride? - Ah, I'm good.
What is it, you don't got a bike? Use mine, man.
That's okay.
I have a complicated relationship with wheels.
Okay.
I get it.
It's not really your thing.
Well, maybe it could be your thing.
You'll never really know unless you try.
- So, this is clutch.
- Clutch.
Push in the, uh, shifter, right? You keep the clutch in.
One down, four up.
Okay? Try it.
Switch gears.
Okay.
Brake right there.
Give it a little demo.
Okay? You gotta be pretty firm with that.
CYRUS: All right.
That's why they call it a kick-start.
Yeah.
Not bad, not bad.
- All right.
- But you gotta push hard Till you get to the top - Okay, grab it? - Got it? - Grab it? - Yeah.
Now you're wishing It's time to attack, bring it on Nice! Bring it on - All right, let's go, Cyrus.
- Woo! - You got this! - (MOUTHING) (DIRT BIKE REVVING UNEVENLY) (METAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (DIRT BIKE REVVING) Let's go! Stop.
(MUSIC CONTINUES) Bring it on Come on, come on.
Do it again, Cyrus.
You got this.
(REVVING, TIRES SCREECH) - Come on, dude! Keep going, keep going.
- Come on, dude.
Come on! Keep going.
One more time.
One more time.
Come on! Come on, come on! (DIRT BIKE REVVING) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (BOTH CHEERING) Woo! Yeah! Let's go! Yeah! - TJ: Nice! - Woo! Nice, dude.
Look at you! I think you got a little air on that one.
I forgot which one was the brake.
You lost your shoe, dude.
Huh.
That's so on brand for me.
Yo, check it out.
I got a great shot of you.
I look rugged! Oh, and there's my shoe! Hm.
What is happening? What's with the furniture? And why do you two look like poop emojis? They're loveys.
- They're one of Cookie's specialties.
- Do you want one? - (TV CHATTER) - No, thanks.
I like to have the use of my limbs.
Oh, oh! Can you change the channel for us then? The remote control is right in front of you.
- (WHIMPERING) - Aw, but then I have to leave my lovey.
I'm not ready to leave my lovey.
Me neither.
You two are really starting to scare me.
Mommy, we need help! BEX: Mommy! - He said mommy! - I did.
Now, there's no reason to be embarrassed.
No matter how old you get, I will always be your mommy, and you will always be my Wittle Stevey-Weevy! Oh, look who's here! Baby Num-num! Baby Num-num? I am not signing off on that.
- Do you want a cookie? - No, thank you.
Let me make you a lovey.
I can't.
I have to be somewhere else.
Oh.
(CHUCKLES) Aw, but then who's gonna change the channel? I got you! What do you kids wanna watch? Oh, look! There's a Bob the Taco marathon! BOTH: Bob the Taco! Bob the Taco! Bob the Taco! Bob the Taco! - I like that one! - Nice.
You know what you never say anymore? Docious magocious.
I feel like I kinda grew out of it.
That's too bad.
I liked it.
Really? You always made fun of it.
That's why I liked it.
- (CHUCKLES) - (BUZZING) Whoa.
(BUZZING CONTINUES) Did you know they do tattoos here? It's the same guy who designs a lot of the decks.
He's really good.
BUFFY: Would you ever get one? Mmm.
I mean, probably not.
Nothing like that, for sure.
Yeah, you do that if you're in a punk band.
Or a motorcycle gang.
(WHISPERS) Or prison.
Don't get me wrong.
I love Cookie.
I mean, she's like the ultimate grandma.
No offense.
None taken because I'm not a grandma.
Right.
Right.
Anyways, I love everything she does.
You know, the chicken, the cookies, the hugging.
It's all so good.
Except, then I get home, and nothing is where it's supposed be.
And I'm going to have to hire a nanny for my parents.
Maybe I should get into it.
Grand to Grand combat.
You're not taking this seriously.
It's like she has them under some kind of spell.
You know what? Lemme see for myself.
I should go over there anyway.
I've never met the woman, and she's gonna be family.
Okay.
But, be careful.
I can't lose anyone else.
Okay.
(SIGHS) - Hey.
- Hey.
- Question about the watermelons.
- Yeah? We having some kind of eating contest or what? - (LAUGHS) You crack me up, man.
- What'd I say? - Eating contest? - Mm-hmm.
We're not gonna eat the watermelons, we're gonna shoot them.
- What? - Yeah.
Dude, have you ever seen a watermelon go pfft? It's so dope.
Yeah, sure super dope.
Did you say shoot them? - That's right.
- With what? See for yourself.
(LAUGHS) You should see your face right now, bro.
- Is that real? - Of course it's real.
- Where did you get that? - It's my dad's.
Does he know you have it? Dude, chill.
- Wanna hold it? - No.
- No, I definitely do not.
- O-okay, okay.
Okay.
You know what's in that bag? Yeah.
I'm gonna go.
- Okay.
- I think you should too.
TJ (QUIET TV CHATTER) CeCe! - What happened? - She baked me a name cookie.
I never had a chance.
Where is Mom? She might be napping in your room.
I wasn't at my most alert.
- And Bowie? - Kitchen.
(SIGHS) No! Hands where I can see them! Drop the scissors! Nobody touches the hair.
It's just that I don't get to spend a lot of time with Steven.
And so, when we get together, the mom thing just kicks in.
Boy, does it.
And then, I meet my grandchild for the first time, and the grandma thing kicks in.
You put both of them together, and watch out, it's Hurricane Cookie.
(LAUGHS) Maybe the next time you visit, you'll be downgraded to Tropical Storm Cookie.
Oh, I keep forgetting.
I-I have a present for you.
I been carrying it around all day.
Cookie, you've done more than enough.
I mean, we're 17 gestures past enough.
(LAUGHS) No, no, you're gonna want this.
Just don't tell Steven I gave it to you.
- Is that Bowie? - Mm-hmm.
Is he eating dog biscuits? (LAUGHS) There's a lot more where that came from.
Mom! You're not really leaving in the morning, are you? The high seas are calling.
Plus, I got a cabin upgrade.
And you two? Everything okay? - Stop you.
- I love Grandma.
(CHUCKLES) Hug? I'm really gonna miss those.
Aw (SNIFFLES) Woof.
(LAUGHS) You're terrible! (LAUGHS) Just a little longer.
JONAH: What are we going to do when we see Metcalf? My plan was not to see him, for the rest of the year.
And all of the next.
Or we could pretend that it never happened.
(WHISPERS) Pretend what never happened? That you saw your principal outside of school? - BUFFY: No.
- JONAH: Not at all.
Really? Oh.
It was weird for me.
- Us, too.
- Extremely weird.
Anything you wanna ask me? - Nope.
- I'm, I'm good.
You're not curious why your principal has a lot of tattoos? - Of course we're curious.
- Duh.
Each one tells a story.
This was my first.
The story is, uh Well, I was 18, and I wanted a tattoo.
Wow.
I know, you're thinking I'm cooler than you thought I was, aren't you? No I was actually thinking that now I can't ever get a tattoo because it's something teachers do.
Well, yeah, that's Oh.
(LAUGHING) Thanks for coming with me.
You're doing the right thing.
That's what my parents said, but I think TJ would disagree.
He's gonna hate me.
You could be saving his life.
Think about it that way.
Okay? (SIGHS) Cyrus.
Looking for me? Yeah.
I needed to talk to you about something.
I need to talk to you, too.
Come in.
(DOOR SHUTS) Cyrus, this is Officer Wright.
Hello.
Did something happen? No, nothing happened.
Everyone's okay.
Officer Wright has some questions.
About? The gun.
Take a seat.
That's what I came in here to tell you about.
The gun.
But, you already know about it? Yes.
And, now you're questioning me? You were there, right? Yeah, I was there.
Am I in trouble? ANDI: Next on Andi Mack BUFFY: I just had one player.
One who knows the game.
Who's played on a team.
Please join the team.
I'm in, slayer.
Denied! What's gonna happen when I'm not holding back? We're staring.
ANDI: I knew there was somebody.
There's someone I want you to meet.
I saw you two this morning.
After you walked away, I tried to introduce myself to her.
- Hello! - I called out several times, but she iced me.